/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4224277]

/lit/ Humor thread

[Anonymous No.4224282]

>>>/9gag/

[Anonymous No.4224288]

>>4224282

[Anonymous No.4224298]

[Anonymous No.4224304]

>>4224298

[Anonymous No.4225812]

[Anonymous No.4225844]

[Anonymous No.4225849]

[Anonymous No.4225940]

>>4224298
We've been over this a number of times. Homo Thug is clearly a superior work to its sequel.

[Anonymous No.4225964]

[edgy No.4225971]

>>4225964
go away tao

[Anonymous No.4225976]

>>4225844

This needs the original post about Sasha Grey to contextualize it

[Anonymous No.4225980]

[Anonymous No.4225982]

I feel like this may belong here... I might be wrong... either way- funny.

[Anonymous No.4225983]

>>4225844
Heh. That DFW one was particularly well done.

[Fandroid !p6ktXMpsfc No.4225989]

[Anonymous No.4226002]

>>4225982
I hate to say it, but leave it to men to turn things into something actually amusing and funny.

[Anonymous No.4226314]

[Anonymous No.4226327]

>>4225989
This is probably the best /lit/ picture I have ever seen during my three years on this board.

[Anonymous No.4226331]

>>4225964
meh pic but fantastic file name

[Anonymous No.4226346]

>>4226314
wheres the joke

[Anonymous No.4226348]

>>4225982
the only pieces this really needs is the first, the third and the fourth
the second is pointless and the last two take the third's joke in a really stupid direction

[Anonymous No.4226358]

>>4226346
Read the names and check the photos.

[Anonymous No.4226359]

>>4226346
The people in the pictures aren't the ones being quoted.

[Anonymous No.4226361]

Who comes to 4chan for comedy?

[Anonymous No.4226375]

>>4226358
>>4226359
... that's not really funny. What's the point of the quotes?

[Anonymous No.4226437]

>>4226361

if you are browsing 4chan unironically you are retarded

just letting you know

[Anonymous No.4226442]

>>4226437
Irony doesn't exempt you from the retardation, it just makes for better rationale.

[Anonymous No.4226443]

>>4225982

lol'd hard at this.

[Anonymous No.4226454]

[Anonymous No.4226458]

[Anonymous No.4226530]

>>4225812
omg my sides

[Anonymous No.4226534]

>>4225989
>I TOLD YOU DOG

Get me everytime

[Anonymous No.4226739]

>>4226454
holy crap
funniest thing ever

[Anonymous No.4226740]

>>4226375
It's postmodern appropriation, dipshit!

[Anonymous No.4226867]

>>4226314
Reminds me of a picture I saw at around the time of a certain someone's death.

[Anonymous No.4226877]

>>4226867
>dat filename
>my sides

[Anonymous No.4226890]

[Anonymous No.4226906]

Can someone please post all the variations of the UCLA homosexual black professor-pasta?
Those are GOOD FUN

- semper fi

[Anonymous No.4226910]

>>4226906
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

[Anonymous No.4226917]

[Anonymous No.4226919]

>>4226910

A white heteronormative cisgendered CEO professor and Baptist preacher was teaching a class on Karl Rove, known Christian.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Jesus Christ and accept that you too can become straight through daily prayer, self-flagellation, and eating Chik-Fil-A every day!”
At this moment, a brave, trans-Asian, self-diagnosed pansexual demiromantic vegan multisouled person who had been free of all animal products and only bought products at the local transgender co-op boldly stood up, holding a glass filled with some white liquid.
“Hey, Professor, what is this?”
The arrogant professor smirked like a rapist and smugly replied “It’s clearly milk, you crazy f****t. What the fuck does milk have to do with political science?”
“Wrong. It’s an all natural vegan soy almond kombucha latte. No animals or transpeople were harmed or raped in the making of this product.”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Wall Street Journal. He stormed out of the room, clearly planning some kind of rape. The professor realized that he had been playing into the hands of the kyriarchy of CEOs, investment bankers, the Religious Right, and psychiatrists. He then killed himself. The proper term for this is “trans-dead”.
The students checked their privilege, all diagnosed themselves with autism and gender identity disorder and joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. An obese trans-eagle furry otherkin waddled into the room and tried to perch upon the American Flag, bending the flagpole in the process. All parties involved gave up meat, Christianity, and the right to bear arms.
The students all lifted their glasses of soy fluid in a toast.
“That beverage’s name? Harvey “The One Percent” Milk.” said the vegan trans-autistic Korean.

[Anonymous No.4226927]

>>4226919
>>4226910
These are hilarious.

Please post more those who have them

[Anonymous No.4226932]

>>4226919

A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Superieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!"
At this moment a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'etre of empricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.
"How universal is this text, frenchie?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its "truth" is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge."
"Wrong. It's been 225 years since human reason created it. if it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real... then it should be regarded as a myth now."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled hiimself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!
The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named "Formal logic" flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

[Anonymous No.4226938]

>>4226932

A reformed Eurocommunist post-Marxist New Leftist Frankfurt School professor and social democrat was teaching a class on Nikita Khrushchev, known revisionist.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Leon Trotsky as the most class conscious revolutionary of all time and accept the Fourth International as the only legitimate representative of the interests of the workers of the world!"
At this moment a brave, revolutionary, unreformed Stalinist NKVD veteran who had an appreciation for socialist realist art and read a chapter of Capital every night before going to sleep stood up and waved the red flag.
"If Trotsky was so great, why wasn't the revolution permanent?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite bourgeoisly and smugly replied, "Because the Soviet Union was a deformed workers state, you idiot gerontocrat!"
"Wrong. Comrade Stalin purged Russia of the kulaks and all enemies of the workers. If your theory of revolution was correct, we would have achieved communism by now."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of A People's History of the United States. He stormed out of the room crying those social-fascist crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had adopted the policies of the Third Period and become more than an infantile leftist bourgeois stooge. He wished so much that he had not betrayed the revolution, but he himself had sold it out!
The students applauded and all sang the State Anthem of the USSR and accepted Socialism in One Country as the best path forward for proletarian cause. An eagle named "Slavoj Zizek" flew into the room and perched atop a copy of "Pravda" and sniffed snot onto its print. The last sentence of the "The Communist Manifesto" was read several times, and Sergei Eisenstein himself showed up and demonstrated how to roll a baby down the Odessa steps.
The professor lost his tenure and was taken out back and shot the next day. He loved Big Brother.
The student's name? Lavrentiy Beria.

[Anonymous No.4226940]

>>4226938

An anrcho-syndicalist American analytic philosopher and linguistics professor was teaching a class on Bertrand Russell, known logician.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Russell as the most influential philosopher of the 20th century, even more influential than Jacques Derrida or any other continental philosopher!”

At this moment, a brave, psycho-analytic, Hegelian Marxist philosopher and cultural critic boldy stood up and tugged at his collar.

”My god, pure ideology! How can you ignore the work of Lacan and the Frankfurt School and so on and so on, like that? ”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “Continental philosophy cloaks trvialities in fancy language and uses the scientific-sounding term 'theory' to describe propositions that could never be tested empirically. ”

”Wrong. If empricism is so important, as you would say, then how come you were so empirically wrong on the Khmer Rouge and Cambodia, and so on and so on?”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus . He stormed out of the room crying those unironic empirically verified crocodile tears.

There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an outdated linguist and blindly analytic philosopher.

He wished so much that he had an argument to save himself from embarrassment, but he himself had advocated for truth derived from empirical investigation!

The students applauded and all dropped out to transfer into the École Normale Supérieure that day and accepted French philosophy as superior to both German Idealism and the Anglosphere's Analytic traditions.

An eagle named “Critical Theory” flew into the room and perched atop a burning American flag and shed a single tear on the dropped chalk. Sections of Lacan's Seminars were read several times, and the Spirit of Hegel himself showed up and demonstrated the nature of dialectics so vividly that everybody in the room progressed to a trans-physical state transcending conventional notions of time and space.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was forced to become a panelist on an MSNBC news show to make ends meet.

The brave psycho-analytic philosopher's name? Slavoj Zizek.

[Anonymous No.4226939]

>>4226932

Theres also a reverse post-modernist one but i cannot find it.

[Anonymous No.4226946]

>>4226940

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little parasite? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Petrograd State University, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on filthy statists, and I have over 300 confirmed refutations of socialism.

I am trained in vulgar empiricism and I’m the top literary figure in the entire US libertarian movement. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will rationalise you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of egoists from conservative think tanks and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your collectivist philosophy. You’re fucking dead, parasite.

I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can shoehorn Objectivist philosophy into over seven hundred pages, and that’s just with my fiction. Not only am I extensively trained in free market capitalism, but I have access to the entire philosophy of neo-Aristotlean thought and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable statism off the face of the continent, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the ethically and economically correct price as determined by the free market, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, altruist.

[Anonymous No.4227096]

>>4226919

>The proper term for this is "trans-dead".

[Anonymous No.4227142]

>>4226361
as opposed to legitimate discussion?

I'm gonna have to give you a top kek for that

[Anonymous No.4227144]

>>4226940

[Anonymous No.4227158]

[Anonymous No.4227180]

>>4226917
Why does everyone on /lit/ bash Infinite Jest so much?

[Anonymous No.4227185]

>>4227180
Because it's the postmodern equivalent of watching a monkey ejaculate into its own mouth.

[Anonymous No.4227187]

>>4227185
So it's arousing?

[Anonymous No.4227208]

>>4227187
If you're in to that sort of thing.

[Anonymous No.4227213]

>>4227180

Because there's an equally vocal and passionate subset who praise it, as a Marxist, I look forward to the point in history where people resolve this dialectic of /lit/'s obsession with Infinite Jest by recognising it as a pretty good book that was really of the moment, and nothing more and nothing less.

[Anonymous No.4227215]

>>4226938
An eagle named "Slavoj Zizek" flew into the room and perched atop a copy of "Pravda" and sniffed snot onto its print.

My sides are sore.

[Anonymous No.4227218]

>>4227213
btw im a marxist xD

[Anonymous No.4227222]

>>4227218

>what is taking the piss

[Anonymous No.4227226]

>>4227222
are you extracting the urine, m9?

[Anonymous No.4227234]

>>4227226

Oh you're an Amerifat, carry on then m911

[Anonymous No.4228390]

Q: What do you get when you put two Trotzkiists in a room?
A:Two Splintergroups

[Anonymous No.4228396]

>>4228390

That last frame, man.

[Anonymous No.4228406]

>>4228390
Fuck, my sides. That was such a stupid comic, and yet I can't stop laughing.

[Anonymous No.4228414]

>>4228390

[Anonymous No.4228417]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW-g3y2NfFo

[Anonymous No.4228420]

>>4228414
>not reading Machiavelli's Discourses on Livy
Funny comic, but still.

[Anonymous No.4228470]

>>4226917
Shotgun the one on the left

[Anonymous No.4228484]

>>4228417
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW-g3y2NfFo

also: Philosopher's Song; Mrs Premise and Mrs Conclusion

[Anonymous No.4228493]

>>4226890

>tfw I posted Blake

[Anonymous No.4229318]

>>4226348

... you take life too seriously...

[Anonymous No.4229363]

>>4228484

[Anonymous No.4229364]

>>4227180
Because obviously the literary geniuses of this decade must hate the titan of previous.

[Anonymous No.4229393]

[Anonymous No.4229675]

>>4226938
>and Sergei Eisenstein himself showed up and demonstrated how to roll a baby down the Odessa steps.

My sides are moving on their own, oni-chan.

[Anonymous No.4229692]

>>4225976
Here ya go

[Anonymous No.4229699]

[Anonymous No.4229745]

>>4229393
has this picture ever worked

[Anonymous No.4229759]

>>4228484

[Anonymous No.4229805]

>>4224288
Rather than being amused, I'm infuriated. Learn to Schopenhauer.

[Anonymous No.4229824]

>>4229745
what do you think?

[Anonymous No.4230963]