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/lit/ - Literature

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4190463 No.4190463[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

would anyone be willing to proofread and critique what i have so far? im writing a 200+ page novel for my creative writing class and i was wondering if someone would be willing to give me some critiques on what i have done so far. im looking for this to be a No Country for Old Men like thriller, but with less of a cat-and-mouse element and more of a cerebral feel. any help would be much appreciated! :D

hxxp://pastebin.com/WDHLEGua

>> No.4190470
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4190470

anyone?

>> No.4190484

You've got a common problem sonny boy. You don't properly discern between the omnipotent third person's descriptive narrative and the personal contemplations of the protagonist. They should be distinctly separate with different voices. Also, style is what makes literature immortal, and from the first few paragraphs you've got an utterly drab and boring writing style. It's alright really, King gets away with it, but what moves me most is when prose is practically poetry.