/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.4169027]

Rewrite the following sentence as postmodern as possible:
>The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.

[Anonymous No.4169031]

niggers tongue my anus

[Anonymous No.4169040]

The relatively faster fox with an outer appearance of brown hair jumps over a dog who doesn't have to work after centuries of oppression.

[Anonymous No.4169037]

The fox needs to check its quick privilege.

[Anonymous No.4169046]

At the end of the war, Rover, the captain's trusted hound who was by his side since the invasion sat reminiscing about the bitches left behind.
There was Honey, a bitch like no other (last seen licking..
blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah...)
Suddenly a fox...
Blah blah blah blah...
...blah blah blah...

[Anonymous No.4169045]

Sex-charged fop blew my junk TV quiz

[MrThrills !aAnvD.FqpM No.4169058]

>>4169027
>The atom bomb arcs over sacred banana breakfast.

[Anonymous No.4169069]

>>4169031

2/10

>>4169037

3/10

>>4169040

7/10

>>4169045

9/10

>>4169046

5/10

>>4169058

10/10

[Anonymous No.4169065]

>>4169027

The fox had had enough of this shit. What kind of motherfucker does this fuckin' dog think he is? He scampered over, like the Ruskies did when Germany blew up their shit in the 40s, and took a big pounce over the dog's head. The dog was pissed. What the fuck fox? Am I going to have to smack your gook ass?

[Anonymous No.4169079]

>>4169027
1/10 rewrite
>>4169031
2/10 rewrite
>>4169037
3/10 rewrite
>>4169040
5/10 rewrite
>>4169045
8/10 rewrite
>>4169046
9/10 rewrite
>>4169058
7/10 rewrite
>>4169065
4/10 rewrite
>>4169069
10/10 rewrite

[Anonymous No.4169094]

>>4169027
The event passed over the other event.

[Anonymous No.4169096]

>>4169027
10/10
>>4169031
10/10
>>4169037
10/10
>>4169040
10/10
>>4169045
10/10
>>4169046
10/10
>>4169058
10/10
>>4169065
10/10
>>4169069
10/10
>>4169079
10/10
>>4169094
10/10

no 1 rewrite is better than any other because reality is subjective, lol

[Anonymous No.4169107]

>>4169027
The "quick" brown fox jumped over the "lazy" dog.

[Anonymous No.4169109]

The man was sitting at the computer and reading a anonymous picture message board on the topic of literature. The man saw a picture of his favorite author, Thomas Pynchon. Beside the picture of Thomas Pynchon was a writing prompt

Rewrite the following sentence as postmodern as possible:
>The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.

The man sat and thought. The man rewrote the sentence as "the quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog."

Then the man read a post that began, "The man was sitting at the computer and reading a anonymous picture message board on the topic of literature...."

[Anonymous No.4169110]

>>4169027
Zounds!

[Anonymous No.4169112]

>>4169027
Nigger nigger NI-
Gg
eR
nigger nigger nigger
n-niggr((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((n1663r)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Anonymous No.4169115]

Wet red, orange and known, otherwise brown, the [italics] Feline Ordained with Xenium [/italics], time over time, accomplishes [italics] That Task Known To Be Too Difficult [/italics] (T.T.K.T.B.T.D.), assigned to be done, over the [italics] Canis Avoiding Task [/italics] (C.A.T. here-forth) and the T.T.K.T.B.T.D. was not done by the C.A.T., which displayed characteristics uncommon to itself, for it declared itself to be too tired, or perhaps too unmotivated by its own crisis, unbeknown to the F.O.X. which completed the T.T.K.T.B.T.D. over the C.A.T..

[Anonymous No.4169113]

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

[Anonymous No.4169122]

"The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog" said the fox. "I guess that's me. If I had a choice, I'd rather not. Ah well."
With a quick movement, he jumped over the dog.
"Guess that's done then. Glad this lasted only a paragraph."

[Anonymous No.4169125]

>>4169096
?/?
My judgements are not only subjective, but my mode of expressing them is an arbitrary human-construct.

[Anonymous No.4169130]

>>4169125
>an arbitrary human-construct
>human
>my judgements
>thinking your judgements belong to you
And here it can be seen how discursive practices generate subjectivities.

[Anonymous No.4169141]

>>4169125
>>4169130
The quick/slow deconstructionist jumps over/under the lazy/industrious dog

[Anonymous No.4169147]

The quick brown fox(a) jumps over a lazy dog.
a: Foxes trot at a speed of 6–13 km/h, and have a maximum running speed of 50 km/h

[Anonymous No.4169163]

"'The' 'quick' 'brown' 'fox' 'jumps' 'over' 'the' 'lazy' 'dog.'"

[Anonymous No.4169168]

>>4169147

10/10

[Anonymous No.4169192]

[description of a quick brown fox jumping over a lazy dog]

[Anonymous No.4169200]

[Anonymous No.4169221]

>>4169096
You know there are people who actually think subjectivity to be that? They are all 10/10 objectively and of different ratings exactly when subjective.

[Anonymous No.4169223]

There was a fox. It jumped over a dog.

[Anonymous No.4169231]

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. on a typewriter. to, ya know, like test it, m8.

enough of me

[Anonymous No.4169252]

>it would be the alphabet if OP had said "the lazy dogs" instead of "a lazy dog"
>greentext metamoderncore

[Anonymous No.4169256]

>>4169192

>>4169200
wow
so derrida
such understanding of narrative
would philosophise with
wow

[Anonymous No.4169283]

Terrible. Just awful. /lit/'s ignorance really shines in this thread.

>>4169031
>>4169112
Postmodernism isn't wacky taboo.

>>4169037
>>4169040
Postmodernism isn't identity politics, nor social justice.

>>4169045
>>4169058
>>4169046
>>4169113
>>4169115
Postmodernism isn't automatic writing, it isn't "lolsorandum XD XP *holds up spork*", it isn't stream-of-consciousness (that literary conceit is actually central to modernism; see TS Eliot, see Faulkner, see Joyce).

>>4169107
>>4169109
>>4169122
>>4169163
>>4169192
Better, but you've all just reprised the meta component of postmodern literature. Where's all the other stuff? Pastiche/polystylism, maximalism, intertextuality, irony/black humor...?

[Anonymous No.4169288]

the qwck brwn
fox
jmps ovr a
lzy dog

[Anonymous No.4169320]

ye kwik brauun foks djumpt ovrr u leyzy dog

(sent over twitter)

[Anonymous No.4169325]

>>4169069
always one of these guys in every thread...

[Anonymous No.4169333]

>>4169283

You must be the life and soul of your parties

[Anonymous No.4169343]

>>4169283
It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Thanks for taking your time in calling out for the bullshit itt.

[Anonymous No.4169350]

>>4169343
postmodernism is anything in reference or ignorance of anything that happened in the future

it's anything

[Anonymous No.4169355]

>>4169350
>in the future
past

[Anonymous No.4169357]

>>4169333
>implying we go to parties

[Anonymous No.4169359]

>>4169027
dogs are not lazy; they're just oppressed, and the fox is triggering him

[Anonymous No.4169378]

A member of this particular software corporation had formulated a test iteration of the Alpha-Sentence and saved it on his hard-drive before heading downstairs for lunch. I had to do the work of extraditing it vis-a-vis USB in the meal interval. I implemented a Hume password extractor and a search function, then I waited a few seconds watching the office clock. There was only fourteen minutes until verbal lock down. I turned back to see the archive listed on screen over a desktop background of an armadillo hanging itself.

I double-clicked the file titled "qbfx.zip"

>The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog

I was dazed for a moment. This was it? The secret Alpha-Sentence? It was supposed to make use of every letter in the English language, but something felt amiss. Some set of characters had been excluded, but I couldn't see what right away, there was only a vile notion on the edge of the lettering.

[Anonymous No.4169403]

>>4169027
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13D1YY_BvWU

I wrorete This for you; abotu the gox and dof

[Anonymous No.4169436]

“Quick is fundamentally meaningless,” says Dog. In a sense, an abundance of discourses concerning the absurdity of quick-identity exist. The subject is interpolated into a capitalist neoconceptualist theory that includes the slow/quick dichotomy as a paradox.

In the works of Brown Fox, a predominant concept is the distinction between Quick and Lazy. Therefore, the primary theme of Dog's critique of Quick is the common ground between society and sexual identity. Fox's model of modern Quick-desublimation suggests that Quick society 'jumps', somewhat surprisingly, over the concept of Lazy.

[Anonymous No.4169518]

There is a feeling that is achieved, without reference to prior actions, when the dog is down on his stomach.

He is there now, and he has been there for a long time. He feels something he understands to be contentness.

He is motionless, and without observation.

His eyes have stagnated. His corneas diminished by inactivity. But still there is pain. The bedsores on his belly scream but he is indifferent to his own suffering.

He feels a gust, and the effects of that gust on the grass around his paws. He does not register this, and therefore perceives nothing.

He hears a soft voice, supercilious in its deference. The slight strain on his ears produces a stabbing feeling, and he would wince but for the weakness in his facial muscles. "I jumped over you."

The dog observes, and for the first time in days perceives. He was jumped over. But then again, perhaps the pain and thirst have caused him to imagine it. For what purpose would he be jumped over? He is filled with an indescribable dread.

He lazes in fear for hours.

When he opens his eyes, he immediately regrets his decision.

[Anonymous No.4169517]

reality blinked into existence what is this pattern it'y my couch why am i sleeping on my couch oh what the fuck is that on my face it's vomit i must have blacked out

The fox sits up and looked into his living room mirror. The vomit is all over his face. There is cocaine powder all over the carpet. The fox gets up and looks around. He checks his iPhone™. There is not a single new message

fuck is in the fox head
what fuck did i do last night
this place is fucked up

Since the fox was naked from the waist down he had put a blanket around him. He walked into the kitchen, and then nearly slipped on a pile of vomit-vodka.

"Fuck", he uttered as he fumbled with the handle to the cabinet. He felt he needed a Tylenol as the headache was massive. He had forgotten he left his bottle of roofies in there and he slipped them into his pocket.

"Wouldn't want someone to find this, heh heh heh."

The fox looks at the dry erase board and remembers that he was supposed to jump over the lazy dog today. The end. He then realizes he's a fox and none of that happened.

[Anonymous No.4169528]

The quick brown fox was about to jump over the lazy dog, but realized that it wasn't a dog. It was the loch ness monster!

"I need about tree fiddy"

[Anonymous No.4169532]

He was old. Old in terms of age and also experience. His brown hair casually leaned as the young fox leapt over him, but his mind stood rigid. He recalled the time he met a man so well dressed with a wrist coated in gold but a mind coated in soot. In this moment the dog was not only content and slumbering, but he simply <i>was.<i/> (not post modern, I know. but credit to anyone who can guess what I was going for)

[Anonymous No.4169571]

[Rewrite the following sentence as postmodern as possible:]
>The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.

>>4169571
0/10

[Anonymous No.4169611]

A fox, purely an object of ideological conception, is interpollated into a subject, that is to say, a fox becomes 'the' fox, ascribed with characteristics as part of the projected phantasy. The essence of 'brownness,' 'quickness' cease to be perceived as their basic unstable masses within the formless plane of immanence, and become the organism. A similar 'organ-ization' occurs within the realm of dog, it becomes 'the' dog, and the normative stratum constructs itself between the subjectified dog and its relation to the connotative 'laziness.' This process occurs through the conjunction of the greater ideological conception of time and space, which are formed 'in place' as entailed by the conceptualization of a 'jump,' ie. a spacio-temporal 'movement,' 'above' what has become 'the' dog.

[Anonymous No.4169624]

The guy went over the thing.

[Anonymous No.4169664]

>>4169045
That's Burroughs.

[Anonymous No.4169666]

>>4169283
>Postmodernism isn't automatic writing, it isn't "lolsorandum XD XP *holds up spork*", it isn't stream-of-consciousness (that literary conceit is actually central to modernism; see TS Eliot, see Faulkner, see Joyce).
What IS it then? Are The Illuminatus! Trilogy or Schrödinger's Cat Trilogy postmodern? And if so, why?

[Anonymous No.4169733]

>>4169027
le foxe jumps over le doge

[Anonymous No.4169997]

>>4169571
lol
Good one.

[Anonymous No.4170020]

>>4169283
>/lit/'s ignorance really shines in this thread

As I suspected, a lot of people on this board simply call everything they find wrong with contemporary society (identity politics and pretension, apparently) "postmodernism." That explains about 2/3 of the replies in related threads.

[Anonymous No.4170027]

>>4170020
You're saying a buncha people think hipsters and postmodernism are the same thing?

[Anonymous No.4170035]

The subject is contextualised into a subsemanticist textual theory that includes the fox as a whole. However, Foucault uses "dog" to denote the defining characteristic, and eventually the absurdity, of prematerialist class.

[Anonymous No.4170053]

The fast brown fox jumps over - through? - the dog & it's the dog's fault.

[Anonymous No.4170056]

Fox jumps, dog sleeps.

[Anonymous No.4170060]

[Anonymous No.4170063]

The fox is protestant landowning bourgeoisie
The dog is catholic proletariat.

[Anonymous No.4170065]

I, lazy dog, brown-foxed jump over it, to be or not to be, that is the question, to be jumped over or under is not the question.

[Anonymous No.4170068]

Fox brown quick do you read?
commence jump dog lazy alpha bravo
over

[Anonymous No.4170072]

The dog jumped over the fox. So what?

[Anonymous No.4170080]

>be me
>be fit
>see some fat fuck
>use him as a hurdle

[Anonymous No.4170081]

doge pls

regards foxe

[Anonymous No.4170087]

Definite article adjective adjective noun verb preposition indefinite article adjective noun.

[Anonymous No.4170326]

>everyone writes
>no one rates

[Anonymous No.4170328]

>>4170087
This would be postmodern if you put the terms in brackets

[Anonymous No.4170329]

You see this brown fox? Well you can't, because it doesn't exist. But hypothetically speaking, if this brown fox existed, do you know what it would be doing? Jumping. Jumping over dogs who are lazy. And that lazy dog is you, dear reader. I am that fox. Get wrekt, dear reader, you stupid fuck.

[Anonymous No.4170335]

The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog, ironically.

[Anonymous No.4170343]

[that phrase used to test fonts]

[Anonymous No.4170740]

Jump high, redbrown fox.
Over
Jeez, you lame-duck dog.

[Anonymous No.4170765]

>>4169283
>Postmodernism isn't automatic writing, it isn't "lolsorandum XD XP *holds up spork*", it isn't stream-of-consciousness (that literary conceit is actually central to modernism; see TS Eliot, see Faulkner, see Joyce).
that's exactly what it is, post-modernists don't admit it of course

[Anonymous No.4170823]

Reynard the swift, Reynard of sepia leapt and bound over the slothful canine.

[Anonymous No.4170829]

>>4169571
We have a winner

[Anonymous No.4170833]

The lazy brown fox jumps over a quick dog.

[Anonymous No.4170885]

>>4169027

When I was two my mother was kneeling beside me, whispering things into my ear while I played with my toys. I remember picking up this plastic fox and skidding it across the bluish green carpet. And mom picked up a toy dog and held it there while I kept repeating this motion. If I was that 2-year-old me now, I'd tell her that if we were text, we'd contain every letter of the alphabet. I love you, and that's all we need; just like the alphabet is all we need to write a story about a quick brown fox. But my mom's dead, so I couldn't say that even if I were a two-year-old again.

[Anonymous No.4170894]

>>4169359

[Anonymous No.4170901]

>>4169027
In the words of the OP, the quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.

[Anonymous No.4170906]

>>4170901
2postmodern4me

[Anonymous No.4170916]

>>4169027
The fox who was quick, that is to say very speedy indeedy, leapt with unattainable grace over the dog who lay resting, who although often accused of being lazy actually had a degenerative condition that meant moving was very difficult and painful, so it goes