best /lit greentext

[Anonymous No.3997479]

post your favorite /lit greentext screencaps

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997481]

>>3997479

[Anonymous No.3997482]

always this

[Anonymous No.3997484]

>>3997481
yes

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997489]

>>3997482
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.3997493]

>>3997482
never seen this, that was brilliant

[Anonymous No.3997497]

>>3997481
Would you mind explaining this?

You are better than Fab, for the record, and now I no longer hate tripfags in general

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997511]

>>3997497
>spoiler
d'aw

It's a joke about Max Stirner and his work "The Ego and its Own'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ego_And_Its_Own

The greentext kinda gets his philosophy but exaggerates a bit.

[Anonymous No.3997538]

[Anonymous No.3997542]

[Anonymous No.3997545]

[Anonymous No.3997546]

>>3997542
lol

[Anonymous No.3997547]

>>3997482

>no_tears_only_dreams_now.jpg

[Anonymous No.3997556]

>>3997538
i loled

[Anonymous No.3997557]

[Anonymous No.3997559]

>>3997557

ouch

virg levels palpable

[Anonymous No.3997560]

>>3997482
someone explain this to me?

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997561]

don't have a screencap but there is of course this:

>sitting alone in Starbucks reading Finnegans Wake
>cute hipster girl approaches me
>start trembling with fear
>"Hey! You're reading Finnegans Wake? Is it any good?"
>"I-I think you'll find Finnegans Wake transcends the normative good-bad dichotomy, actually"
>she says she doesn't understand
>snort with laughter
>coffee spurts from my nostrils, along with a single strand of spaghetti
>panicking, I swiftly pull the tablecloth to my nose and blow
>more spaghetti falls out
>try to catch it all in my fedora, but it quickly overflows
>the girl is staring at me in horror
>I stand up, knocking my chair over, and sprint towards the door
>trip on a string of spaghetti that was dangling from my nose
>as I crash to the floor a wet bubble of bolognese sauce escapes from my ass
>attempt to stand but slip on a meatball that has rolled out of my trouser leg
>by now everyone is laughing hysterically
>I try to explain the opening sentence of Finnegans Wake but my mouth is full of spaghetti
>start vomiting uncontrollably
>the spaghetti wraps itself around my neck
>can't breathe
>beg for help but no one can hear me over their laughter
>before dying, make my last confessions:
>"I have no idea what's going on in Finnegans Wake!"
>everything goes black

[Anonymous No.3997562]

>>3997557
The picture reminds me of Drive.

[Anonymous No.3997563]

>>3997557
well this made me happy

[Anonymous No.3997565]

Yup

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997567]

>>3997562
it's the lettering

[Anonymous No.3997568]

>>3997482
That's my life

[Anonymous No.3997569]

[Anonymous No.3997573]

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997576]

>>3997573
saved

[Anonymous No.3997581]

>>3997511
Who does Stirner think is the 'creative nothing which cannot be named'? What are spooks? Surely he doesn't think that the individual is the only unique thing.

[Anonymous No.3997582]

>>3997542
lel

[Anonymous No.3997588]

>>3997562
>>3997567

Everything reminds me of Drive.

Drive was just that good.

[Anonymous No.3997589]

>>3997565
>perfect day
>tomorrow....

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.3997592]

>>3997581
>Who does Stirner think is the 'creative nothing which cannot be named'?
the self
>What are spooks?
obfuscations of the self or the path to the self; namely ideology, social customs, truth, justice, logic, etc.

[Anonymous No.3997607]

capcha: theifin robeson

[Anonymous No.3997613]

>>3997607
top lel

[Anonymous No.3999083]

>>3997484
>>3997489
>>3997493
>>3997547
>>3997560
>>3997568
I saw it in that thread, it was a feel thread. People responded with "complex feel", "send me some of your poetry plz" etc etc, and thought it was original.

It was written by Goat-guy some time ago, don't know when he stopped coming, I've made a thread about greentext poetry, with that in the OP some time ago as well.

Weird that tripfags doesn't know it.

[Anonymous No.3999349]

>>3999083
>don't know when he stopped coming
>implying

[Anonymous No.3999375]

Anyone with more recent stuff? As in, in the last few months.

[Anonymous No.3999377]

>>3999375
/lit/ has not been good for a long time m8

[Anonymous No.3999393]

Did anybody catch the story about the guy and his girl who met over Milton or whatever?

[Anonymous No.3999397]

>>3999393
fuuka did

[Anonymous No.3999409]

Hijacking thread:
Since we don't come here to talk about literature why do we all come back?
I like to believe it's because we're all, more or less, similar enough to enjoy our own companies, intelligence or pretentiousness and all.

[Anonymous No.3999412]

>>3999349

[Anonymous No.3999422]

Anyone have the submissive /pol/fag who loves trannies?

[Anonymous No.3999427]

wtf is iranman

[Anonymous No.3999428]

>>3999409
I honestly don't enjoy your company. I used to, a few years ago, but not any more. I have no idea why I'm still here.

[Anonymous No.3999432]

>>3999428
>Reason: I have no control over my life.
That's one, anyone else?

[Anonymous No.3999437]

>>3997481
i remember that. brilliant

[Anonymous No.3999447]

>>3999427
>wtf is iranman
/lit/ history lesson. Chapter 32:

"Iranman Alekseyevich wanted to sample The Kharmsian Delights for himself, but an evil dictator wouldn't let him. So he spat, and ventured onto the interwebs where he met Ocranon Smentov.

Ocranon Smentov had a good heart, and promised to help the noble Arab on his mission, but he became corrupted by an ideal vision of the future, and he stabbed Iranman Alekseyevich in the back while two old ladies tumbled from a window.

We all watched in terror. All hope seemed to be lost for Iranman Alekseyevich, when out of nowhere two humble knights called Scanbro Gorshkov, and Designbro Rokossovsky came to the rescue. They picked up Iranman Alekseyevich by the scruff of his neck, and, after removing a grape from his eye, allowed him to view the wondrous splendour of The Kharmsian Delights.

Everyone was overjoyed as Scanbro Gorshkov and Designbro Rokossovsky also revealed the delights to the world too. We threw a child into a pit to celebrate. That's all I'm going to say about it."

[Anonymous No.3999471]

>>3997557
that's actually the best pick up line i've ever seen

[Anonymous No.3999473]

[Anonymous No.3999496]

>>3999447
This history can't be that old. I only went away for a few months

[Anonymous No.3999505]

>>3999473
I hope these are examples of stupidity and you're not trying to prove their intelligence??

[Anonymous No.3999519]

>>3999471
every single person who quoted him in that thread called him a faggot

[Anonymous No.3999520]

>>3997607

best lel yet

[Anonymous No.3999548]

[Anonymous No.3999558]

Not greentext, but it's all I've got.

[Anonymous No.3999562]

[Anonymous No.3999566]

[Anonymous No.3999569]

[Anonymous No.3999572]

[Anonymous No.3999573]

prepared 4 get

[Anonymous No.3999597]

>>3999377
this >>3997607 is recent

[Anonymous No.3999608]

>>3999597
also>>3997482
was capped recently
but is not recent

heck the OP >>3997479
was just a couple days ago

[Anonymous No.3999617]

>>3999573
You take your time, young lion.

[Anonymous No.3999675]

>>3999349
Either I haven't lurked enough the last year or you haven't posted goat pictures enough. Thought you were gone with D&E

[Anonymous No.3999726]

>>3999617
getting that get

[Anonymous No.3999774]

>>3997557
>notice how there's no reply

[Anonymous No.4000059]

>>3999774
>that sorry black woman

Must have been of one of those tribes that sold the others to the white men who rarely get mentioned.

[Azusa !aiGYNVM7Ig No.4000066]

Not greentext, but still funny.

[Anonymous No.4000315]

>>3999473
i miss tybrax

[Anonymous No.4000321]

>>3997479
Does anyone of any screencaps of that glorious Good Omens thread when /lit/ first opened

[Anonymous No.4000343]

Here's mine, not that great though.

[Anonymous No.4000345]

>>4000343
fag

[Anonymous No.4000356]

I happen to have a lot of captures.

[Anonymous No.4000380]

/lit/ on Joyce

[Anonymous No.4000410]

>>3997482
this is fantastic

[Anonymous No.4000411]

These are great

[Anonymous No.4000429]

[Anonymous No.4000437]

[Anonymous No.4000451]

Maybe I'm derailing the thread; these aren't greentext stories. But I think these posts are great.

[Anonymous No.4000453]

>>4000451
forgot pic

[Anonymous No.4000460]

[Anonymous No.4000480]

This one.

[Anonymous No.4000484]

[Anonymous No.4000490]

[Anonymous No.4000497]

[Anonymous No.4000499]

[Anonymous No.4000502]

[Anonymous No.4000507]

[Anonymous No.4000537]

[Anonymous No.4000615]

>>4000537

[Anonymous No.4000637]

>>4000502
Love that one. Made me think of the Metamorphosis for some reason.

[Anonymous No.4001313]

>>3997479
lol i havent seen this on before. saved

[Anonymous No.4001509]

Is greentexting an art form?

[Anonymous No.4001525]

I've never seen anything on 4chan that was ever screenshot worthy, I don't get why anyone would find any of this stuff notable enough to keep on their computer.

[Anonymous No.4001530]

>>3997542
Actually this is pretty funny, but it's more of a metajoke

[Anonymous No.4001537]

>>3999409
The only thing I have in common with you people is whenever people actually talk about books.

[Anonymous No.4001544]

>>4000356
lol

[Anonymous No.4001714]

>>3997573
I had a good chuckle off that. However, it is not the case that St. Bernards, or Alpine mastiffs as they are also known, ever regularly carried alcohol to people trapped by avalanches. It was most likely some sort of warm broth or caffeine based beverage. If someone is trapped in the snow they are at risk of hypothermia, pneumonia, &c. If the avalanche survivor drank whiskey it would increase the chances of catching one of these illnesses.
Besides, the practice of using these dogs to rescue people was started by a bunch of monks living in a secluded monastery. I doubt they had liquor lying around.

[Anonymous No.4001715]

>>3997588
>Thinking 'Drive' even approaches 'Vanishing Point'

/lit/ pls

[Anonymous No.4001718]

>>4001714
monks created many famous alcoholic beverages

[Anonymous No.4001721]

>>4001714
>If the avalanche survivor drank whiskey it would increase the chances of catching one of these illnesses.
They didn't know that. How would broth or caffeine stay warm, anyway?
>a bunch of monks living in a secluded monastery. I doubt they had liquor lying around.
You'd be wrong in most cases.

I'm not saying the idea isn't a myth because I don't know; I'm just saying those are false premises.

[Anonymous No.4001735]

>>4001509
Greentext is the only art form.

[Sunhawk !!rEkSWzi2+mz No.4001753]

These are some bad greentext posts.

[Anonymous No.4001797]

>>3997481

[Anonymous No.4001806]

>>4001509

[Anonymous No.4001809]

>>3999566
Strangely beautiful.

[Anonymous No.4001817]

>>4001721
>They didn't know that. How would broth or caffeine stay warm, anyway?

I believe that over thousands of years in a religion with drinking-based rituals, at least somebody would have noticed that alcohol makes your body lose heat faster = not good for someone who needs every Jewel of energy to keep warm and survive.

For the warmth of the beverage factor I'm not sure exactly. Perhaps the point of the dog was to run it there quickly. The little keg is insulated? I just assume that the reasonable choice would be to put something hot in the keg to warm up the person freezing to death in the snow. Plus, water has a tremendous heat capacity so it would stay decently warm for a little while, perhaps enough for the dog to sniff out whoever was in need.

They use helicopters now, I think.

And yeah I suppose I was brash to say there was not liquor lying around monasteries.

[Anonymous No.4001824]

>>4001817
>I believe that over thousands of years in a religion with drinking-based rituals, at least somebody would have noticed
Tell it to the leeches.

[Anonymous No.4003103]

Bump

[Anonymous No.4003215]

>>3997482
>i tell her such concepts are merely spooks

lost it there

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.4003232]

>>4003215
did you mean this
>>3997481
because me too

[Anonymous No.4003281]

>>3999572
I used to do that too.

[Anonymous No.4003292]

>>3997573
>Saint Bernards carrying whiskey

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.4003297]

>>4003281

[Anonymous No.4003334]

>>4003297
Yeah but I've done some very strange things, such as

>dunked my nutsack into a chocolate mousse.

[Anonymous No.4003338]

>>4003334
forgot to add that this was while masturbating so the mousse went everywhere all over the carpet lol

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.4003340]

>>4003334
Where were you? why?

anything else?

[Anonymous No.4003349]

>>4003340
I was in my room and I couldn't find anything to stick my dick into, I used to fuck a teddy bear but I always ended up with cotton wool all over my japs eye. not too good. i thought i'd go down another route and it wasn't anything special really.

Yeah there are certainly other things, but this sort of thing I don't remember, I'll get back to you if anything comes up.

[Anonymous No.4003351]

>>4001753
Stop imitating me you bastards! You´re not funny anymore.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.4003357]

>>4001753
Stop imitating me you bastards!! Just so you know, you´re not funny anymore.

[Anonymous No.4003388]

>>4003349
Where are you from?

[Anonymous No.4003441]

>>3997542
>tfw employed

SMD niggas

[Anonymous No.4003604]

>>3999548
>be me, 20yo white ciswoman
>it's dark
>I'm alone
>walk into restaurant
>its suddenly silent
>everyone's looking at me
>I see a pack of cismale waiters looking at me
>I make eye contact with the tallest
>He knows, I know, he knows I know
>cismales begin breathing heavily, panting as I stand like a deer in headlights
>I can't move, trapped by his oppressive gaze
>the pack begins beating their chests and howling to establish their dominance
>I know I am their prize and there is nothing I can do
>As the pheromones of the aroused males take control of the room, the howling dies down to panting and moaning as the tall waiter establishes dominance through his lustful roaring and chest thumping
>I chose him and he chose me
>the competition over, he steps forward to claim me, but I cannot flee from his urgency
>an old gypsy woman shrieks and gnashes her teeth, flailing on the ground between me and my rapist
>in an act of solidarity, the older women cry out, speaking in tongues and shrieking to the night
>this whips the beta cismales into a frenzy of whooping and howling as they become engorged from female sorrow
>'harlot' - 'whore of Babylon' - 'Delilah' - 'Jezebel', the chorus of lust rings out, hissing and accusing and beseeching
>the waiter steps over the gypsy woman without looking at her
>the males begin to climax, one by one, their hips gyrating rhymithically, forcing the women to do the same despite their wailing
>the waiter looks at me
>'table for one?' he asks
>'y-yes please' I reply
>all is silent apart from quiet sobs and some post ritual panting
>'no need to thank me' he says
>he grins, raping me with his eyes
>'it will be my privilege'

[Anonymous No.4003863]

>>4003604
The female perspective was lacking. Well done!
But why the old Gypsy woman?

[Anonymous No.4003879]

>>4003604
god i love 4chan

[Anonymous No.4003945]

>>4003604
>hips gyrating rhymithically
lel

The gypsy was a nice touch.

[Anonymous No.4003959]

>>4003349
I know what you mean, man. I remember putting my flaccid penis in one of those old cola bottles (they used to be wider) and it really started to hurt when I become fully erect. I thought it was going to get stuck, but it didn't.
Something about sticking my penis is cold substances always attracted me. I used to rest my testicles on cold bottles, and furiously shake the damned thing till it exploded all around.
Once, I was starring at my penis-tip while performing self-induced ejaculation and some of it got into my eyes. I don’t remember being as afraid as I was ever, except maybe when the tip of penis got stuck inside my pants’ zipper, but that’s another story. I thought I was going to get blind forever. I wanted to go over to the bathroom but I hit my knee somewhere and I fell unconscious on the floor. I must’ve hit my head on the floor or something. I work up with dry semen on my face and eyes, but it was one of the best moments in my life; because despite all, I could see again.

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.4003978]

>>4003604
So fucking funny

>>4003959
um

[Anonymous No.4004403]

>>3997561
i lol'd

[Anonymous No.4005484]

>>4001806
Get that out of here, anon. It's filthy!

[Anonymous No.4005496]

>>3999569
Hah, I wrote that.

[Anonymous No.4005506]

>>3999519
As if this has any bearing on anything. That's a stock 4chan response to just about everything.

[Anonymous No.4005623]

>>4000411
The writing style greatly reminds me of American Psycho

[Anonymous No.4005720]

>>4001753
>Kubrick
>Not pleb-tier
Topper lel

[Anonymous No.4006568]

>>3997607
I remember that haha. It was during one of my first trips to this board.

[sage No.4006589]

>>3997557
kawaii

[sage No.4006604]

>>3999548
>entry-level /b/ meme
>actually originally on Tumblr
>mfw

[Celebes !!NWFwVGUkpTc No.4006618]

>>4006604
>homestuck

[Anonymous No.4006981]

>>4006604
This person uses the same screen capturing software as me, the one who posted many captures in this thread.

I just want to state that I'm a different person; I'm not this subhuman masochist who likes to watch stupid crap. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.4006983]

test

[Anonymous No.4006991]

>>4006981
I'm going to post more /lit/'s golden moments

[Anonymous No.4007002]

>all those feels

[Anonymous No.4007005]

This was a thread about avoiding the letter "e". The first post is great.

[Anonymous No.4007009]

>>4007002
Fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[Anonymous No.4007010]

>>4007002

[Anonymous No.4007022]

This was a thread about describing the girl in the photo.

[Anonymous No.4007026]

>>4007002

[Anonymous No.4007029]

[Anonymous No.4007030]

>>4007022

I didn't know Grace Krualnanelvich posted here.
Neat.

[Anonymous No.4007037]

[Anonymous No.4007042]

[Anonymous No.4007046]

>>4007037
9/10 made me chuckle

[Anonymous No.4007049]

Pt. 1

[Anonymous No.4007050]

>>4007042
this is why i /lit/

[Anonymous No.4007059]

>>4007049
Pt. 2

[Anonymous No.4007075]

[Anonymous No.4007100]

>>4007075
This sort of sounds like Stephen's theory in Scylla and Charybdis

[Anonymous No.4007146]

>>4007042

[Anonymous No.4007156]

>>3997607
My sides took the rocket to Iceland

[Anonymous No.4007883]

>>4007059
>Fuck you
>you bitch
>you didn't need them
>plumbs anyway
>you fat bitch

[Anonymous No.4007904]

[Anonymous No.4007910]

>>4000453
slol, spot on

[Anonymous No.4007915]

>>4000000

[Anonymous No.4007925]

>>4007904

This kills me every time. Even though it's not lit related

[Anonymous No.4008011]

>>4006991
Is this nigga serious?

[Anonymous No.4008028]