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/lit/ - Literature

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3968768 No.3968768 [Reply] [Original]

From "John Dies at The End" author and editor of Cracked.com, David Wong comes a list that's been rattling cages ever since it was first published to usure in the new year: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Did anyone on here give this a glimpse?

I seriously found it to be a huge rude awakening, and have been taking measure on route to personal improvement ever since.

>> No.3968771

Yes, I read it and yes, it perfectly described me.

I haven't done a single thing about it.

>> No.3968776

Are we being invaded by reddit or something?

>> No.3968777

>>3968771
samezies

You could make your entire mentality about life the way you want it to be in just about a month or so if you tried hard enough. However, people like me are really lazy and will spend 10x longer doing something than other people will

>> No.3968779

It's all well and good if you derive your life-worth solely from materials...

>> No.3968782

Making life decisions based on Cracked is roughly 8000% worse than making them based on self-improvement books.
Grow up.

>> No.3968785

>>3968771
You should bro. If you're on here I assume it means you read a lot. Which probably means you've got a basic grasp of the English language and at least some interests.

I started up a blog earlier this year where I write about games, tv, books and movies. It's not incredibly well developed yet or anything, but hey, it's recieving trickles of attention and it's gotten me into the habbit of writing an almost daily basis.

>> No.3968833
File: 473 KB, 320x240, grandpa_simpson_leaving.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3968833

>2013, motherfuckers. Yeah! LET'S DO THIS.

>> No.3968844

>>3968779
He goes over that. It isn't necessarily materialistic, the point is that you DO.
So, you aren't materialistic? Do you have any ethical beliefs, then? What do you DO with those?

>> No.3968874

>>3968785
Post it, c'mon

>> No.3968877

Has anyone ever read John Dies at the End? I almost did once, but it looked too shitty, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

>> No.3968881

>>3968874
Sure, it's not much to look at just yet, mind.
http://someladsblog.wordpress.com/

>> No.3968887

>>3968877
I've read it and it's sequel "This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It!". Thought they were both rather funny/interesting.

>> No.3968888

>>3968877
Never read it. I saw the film and am interested toin reading it, along with Hitchhikers Guide. Seems a similar vibe.

>> No.3968895

>>3968888
The book is like Hitch-hiker's Guide humour mixed with some Stephen King-esque horror. In other words, it's great fun.

>> No.3968897

>>3968881
I'll take a look after I'm done listening to this podcast. From a quick reading it seems really nice, specially apreciate the design of the site. So many people get this wrong is unbelievable

>> No.3968903

>>3968897
Thanks bro. I appreciate the support.
I should have a couple of more articles up by the end of the weekend.

>> No.3968905

>>3968877
I just started it a few days ago. It's pretty fun so far, my one complaint is that the writing at times is pretty 'meh'

The author likes to do a lot of similes for no reason and it kind of distracts on the 9th time when you realize that everything is being described as "something something like something something" it's not bad but it is noticeable.

>> No.3968907

>>3968877
It seems rather pulpy for my tastes, but I'd love to be convinced otherwise.

>> No.3968913

>>3968903
Don't bother thanking me, the internet is here for this type of thing to get out there. We are still learning to use it but with the right impulse you can make something of it. I'll post some feedback on your question section is that alright? My girlfriend has a tumblr but I still don't know how to deal with it very well..

>> No.3968918

>>3968913
Sure if you want. I'm also gonna add an 'Artwork' tab to the menu to upload some of drawings relating to thing in pop culture once I get drawing again...

>> No.3968932

this gave me cancer

>> No.3968937

The article seems rather stale although lighthearted.. I don't see that much division between the Truths. I suppose they have to break it up to retain the readers atention.

>> No.3968940
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3968940

>You are your job

>> No.3968949

>>3968937
Such is the nature of Cracked, but it is benevolent in the end.

>> No.3968953

This is fucking horrible.

If this "changed" your life you are a clueless fucker.

>> No.3968954

>>3968782
>>3968833
>>3968932
>>3968940
>>3968953

>> No.3968956

Who do these even apply to? I've never heard anyone complain that they couldn't get a job even though they were "nice".

>> No.3968962

To add:

What does Cracked provide for society? Nothing.

Perhaps they should follow their own code. This article's line of logic is retarded.

>> No.3968970

>>3968954
>>3968953
>>3968962
I like how you're proving him right.

>> No.3968984
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3968984

He created a worldview where any criticism helps to bolster it, in terms of an argument it is fine but as an ideal to follow? I don't know if I agree. But then again anything I'd say against it would make me one of the bitter people whop are secretly jealous of the successful people.

It rings of a man who is preaching because he already believes he is at the top, but there really is no top when you define your own parameters of success.

Its a better pep-talk than it is anything else.

>> No.3968987

>>3968953
Why?
>>3968956
There are plenty of sad sacks that sent the editor emails because they are in effective people.
>>3968962
Like it or not, Cracked is a very popular website. It offers information with a sense of humour, bro.

>> No.3968999

I know about books and I'm happy with my life, so this doesn't apply to me.

>> No.3969005

>>3968768
>personal improvement
bää bää

Seriously though, stop being so easily influenced by a bunch of self-help tips.

>> No.3969026
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3969026

>>3968881
>http://someladsblog.wordpress.com/
>Pleasant summer afternoons, and warm cocoa to you, my dear happy chaps.

Allow me to cordially welcome you to my small bloggín beag; a place I’m certain you’re only delighted and infinitely entraced to have stumbled across. For you see, it is but here, and nowhere else that I conversationally discuss different aspects of popular culture that pertain my eclectic, high-brow interests.

These includes such luxurious, high class commodities as anything related to the illustrious video game culture, film & television, music, literature and who knows, perhaps in the future I may offer exciting glimpses into the uproarious choatic goings-on of my very own personal travels, and hectic social life alike!

For now, sit back and bask in the glory that are my almost embarrassingly meticulous and painstaking reviews and tid-bits of personal opinion.

Kind regards,

You’re appropriately-dressed, very own personal pureyor of excellence.

Mike~

You are the definition of fedoracore.

>> No.3969035

Let's go through his points:

>6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You
This is true unless you're a charity case but even then you're giving the people who help a sense of superiority/warm fuzzies. If you're poor and don't act like grovelling scum people tend to not want to help you.

>5. The Hippies Were Wrong
I like the false dichotomy he creates in that either you respond positively to the speech and get all worked and motivated or you bitch and whine about it. When my boss tries to give these speeches I usually just tune out. They want me to sell more, yeah, okay, whatever. I don't need you're emotional manipulation to get going, just tell me what you want.

>4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People
I'm not sure the title for this bit was correct since he seems primarily interested in attracting women in this one. What he says is pretty much true unless you find someone who is as pathetic as you and you guys just make a silent pact to not call the other one out on their deficiencies.

>3. You Hate Yourself Because You Don't Do Anything
>2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do
Pretty much true unless you're talking about someone with documented mental illness.

>1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement
Pretty much describes every shitty person I tend to dislike.

My only response to this would that I really don't care if people don't do anything with their lives and they enjoy it just don't whine about how you're unhappy but not doing anything about it which I think is mostly his point.

Also, I completely disagree with his adoration of Alec Baldwin's character in Gelngarry Glenn Ross. The guy is successful but a total dick. It's just a choice most people(not all) have to make between being a good family man and a successful whatever you are. I'll take family man any day of the week.

>> No.3969036

>>3968768
In my humble opinion, this article reeks of failure and of justifications for it, and here's why :

1- It fails on the ground of it circular reasoning, i.e. its unfalsifiable. If your are criticizing it you are a helpless hispter who has nothing to offer, dont want to work to offer anything, you cant be against it whitout automatically being shrugged off due to its circular reasoning, thus making it pseudo ''science''. Its the same mentality that drives psycho analysts to label sexually impotent thoses that criticize it, or feminists to label opponents a member of the oppressive patriarchy , or communists to label opponents petty bourgeois , thus shrugging them off automatically whitout having to answer the criticisms

2-The author bends over to confrmity and the demands of corporate mentality instead of self actualising himself based on his own personality. Instead of finding a partner with the same interests/personality, he decides to bend over and get the car and money to get the ''pretty girls'' in the club scene instead. Instead of finding a fulfilling job on a personnal level he decides to bend over and grind as a corporate drone because it makes him ''useful'', regardless if his employers just see him/use him as a disposable tool. Its the perfect uncle Tom syndrome for corporate america. All superficialty, absolutely no substance.

3- It promotes sociopathic behavior ''a la Ayn Rand'', where people are seen only as means to get something and tools, pretty dehumanizing. That girlfriend of yours lost the use of her legs and dosent fulfill your need of companionship for outdoor activity and hiking: not useful anymore, just too bad shes getting dumped! That loyal employee of 30 years dosent accomplish as mush work load and this new guy? fuck it, hes fired! person x dosent gives y, dump person x! Homeless dont produce anything? as ayne rand would have said, not worthy of love then!


ill prolly add more later

>> No.3969045
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3969045

>>3969026
>>3968881
>you're appropriately-dressed
>you're
>hyphen between appropriately and dressed
Your grammar and writing style is so fucking bad in every respect. Please discontinue this blog. You are achieving nothing but embarrassing yourself.

>> No.3969057

>6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You

if you believe this literally you probably have trouble forming relationships with people and fucking

>> No.3969058

>>3969036
This is pretty much the feeling I got from it. I was wondering when someone would bring up Ayn Rand. It sounds like a self-absorbed dick justifying his lack of empathy toward others. I think there's good lessons to be taken from it but no way anyone should take the whole thing wholeheartedly unless you want to be a sociopthatic asshole like Alec Baldwin's character (who he further supporters by misreporting Baldwin being nominated for the role). If you want fancy watches and cool cars, good for you. I'm plenty happy teaching kids high school level lit with little to show for it and I didn't have to fuck anyone over or talk down to anyone to do it.

>> No.3969069

>>3969057
I don't believe it in the sense that he does, but it's still true. Even in a good relationship you have to contribute something or it's going to fall apart even if that something is just accepting the other persons love and fulfilling their need for someone to care for. I hate birthday parties and ceremonies but I still show up to get my little piece of paper or whatever because other people want to see me do it. The key to happiness is recognizing what you want and can realistically expect from a relationship or a fuck and being willing to provide what the other person is seeking in exchange. Sherlock Holmes needed someone to think he was awesome and Watson needing something to do with his time so good times for all!

>> No.3969114

>>3969045
Yeah sorry, I accept that paragraph was disgracefully written but I've since amended it.

>> No.3969145

>>3969057

What does that have to do with fucking?

>> No.3969175

man I'm glad to see /lit/ doesn't like Cracked. That stupid pseudo-intellectual leftist site is way way too popular.

>> No.3969179

Articles pretty bad but this mad it worth it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mSnRq6iyHKg

>> No.3969189

>>3968962
Cracked lets you feel like you're bettering yourself, without ever having to do any hard work, strenuous thinking or real self improvement of any kind.

>> No.3969196

>>3968984
>He created a worldview where any criticism helps to bolster it
You just summed up Tao Lin, and indeed any contemporary, young author.

"I can't write for shit, I have nothing of value to write about, but by concealing these failures behind a facade of irony, by claiming they're deliberate, I free myself of all responsibility, be it for intellectual quality, or indeed for any of my own actions."

>> No.3969199

>>3969175
Do you know what's worse than 'pseudo-intellectuals'? Pseudo-intellectuals who sit back and say "haha, look at those pseudo-intellectuals! Look how artificial their intelligence is! I'm not like them at all!" not realising that, in reality, you are identical to them, if not far, far worse.

>> No.3969375

>The world only cares about what it can get from you.

But I dont care what the world wants from me, I can get by just fine without internalizing these values youre talking about

>Stop being a child!!

You seem insecure

>> No.3969378

People who didn't know all of these already and are old enough to operate a computer should consider makin' a change.

>> No.3969403

>>3969378
Knowing =/= acting.

>> No.3969474

>>3968771

This.

>tfw you will never have a moment that changes you and makes you better

>> No.3970246

all i read was "hurry up and conform"

>> No.3970248

>>3970246

>implying the modern onus on individuality wasn't planned and executed to disband communities, increase isolation, and take direct control of the population

but muh uniqueness

>> No.3970255

This reads like a shitty self-help book.

And look, there's a section on how if you complain or are bitter then you'll never succeed immediately discrediting anyone who criticises this.

I wouldn't want to associate with the kind of person who lived by these rules. But I imagine the author must be an extremely happy individual and we should all emulate him.

>> No.3970282

> gym six hours a day
> six hours a day
> six hours
Pretty sure even celebs preparing for a movie only spend five at most, else wise your body won't recover.
Also, most of that seems kind of, I don't know, obvious.

>> No.3970309

So many people out there with no self-criticism, it's amazing... If people put as #1 rule "honesty to oneself" instead of adding layers of rationalization/blind conformity/stupification this kind of superficial self-help wouldn't be needed.

>> No.3970337

>>3969199
>>3969199
>Do you know what's worse than 'pseudo-intellectuals'? Pseudo-intellectuals who sit back and say "haha, look at those pseudo-intellectuals! Look how artificial their intelligence is! I'm not like them at all!" not realising that, in reality, you are identical to them, if not far, far worse.


What does that make you?

>> No.3970339

>>3969036
The article says it only applies if you're unhappy with your life. It's not entirely circular. More of an oval.

>> No.3970342

I just ate like 100g of dried beef.

>> No.3970344

>>3970337
Do you know what's worse than 'Pseudo-intellectuals who sit back and say "haha, look at those pseudo-intellectuals! Look how artificial their intelligence is! I'm not like them at all!" not realising that, in reality, you are identical to them, if not far, far worse.'? Pseudo-intellectuals who sit back and say "Pseudo-intellectuals who sit back and say "haha, look at those pseudo-intellectuals! Look how artificial their intelligence is! I'm not like them at all!" not realising that, in reality, you are identical to them, if not far, far worse." not realising that, in reality, you are identical to them, if not far, far worse.

>> No.3970367

>>3970342
>I just ate like 100g of dried beef.

Only around 40g of that is protein. Depending on your body weight, you still have another 100g+ to eat.

>> No.3970369

>>3970344
>no u

>> No.3970384

>>3969199

even if "pseudo intellectual" has become cliche as a criticism, you seem to be responding solely to be confrontational. it's not like you can gauge the guy's level of intelligence just based on one short post.

>> No.3970395

>>3970367
I don't understand why I need to eat another 100g or what the protein content has to do with anything but I'll do it anyway.

>> No.3970398

>>3970344
> suedo-intellectuals

>> No.3970436

>>3970395
>I don't understand why I need to eat another 100g
Take your bodyweight and work out what you are in pounds. So 12st(76kg) is 168lbs. You are supposed to have a minimum of 1g of protein per 1lb of bodyweight, so a 12st guy needs at least 168g of protein a day.

>or what the protein content has to do with anything
You skeletal muscle is built with protein, your neurotransmitters and hormones use the amino acids from protein, your internal organs use protein. Your body needs protein, and if your diet is simple carbs and starch you will feel tired, lethargic, and your body wont be functioning at optimal ...

>but I'll do it anyway.
Good.

Also, multiply your protein intake by 4 to work out how many Kcal it is (168 x 4 = 672), so at least 672kcal of your daily intake should be coming from protein. The rest you can ratio between fats and complex carbs.

Trust me. Feed your body what it needs, and it will repay you with feeling good and increased focus.

>> No.3970444

>>3968895
Now that we are in the subject. Why do I never seem to really enjoy that "in your face" kind of humour. Examples are preciselly The Hitch-hiker's and the humor in the John dies movie. The humor is just so straightforward that I don't find enjoyment in it. I don't hate it or anything but i find it strange that so much people like it so much

>> No.3970455

>>3970436
I am going to eat other food today. I find it hard to believe I need to eat 200g of dried lean beef daily. I just farted and it smelt awful.

>> No.3970457

>>3968962
they do offer something people want, whether they offer something you want is a whole other subject. the author counts entertainment and happiness as something society wants and needs, by the way and cracked offers that for many, mixed with bits of information, often inaccurate and detrimental to general knowledge, given the fact that many teens and 20 somethings take it as a trustable source

>> No.3970471

>>3969199
What about pseudo intellectuals who sit back and laugh at the pseudo intellectuals laughing at pseudo intellectuals? Does it end there though?
What if...what if the entire universe is made up of pseudo intellectuals collectively laughing at each other? Pseudo intellectuals all the way down?

>> No.3970477

>>3970455
>I find it hard to believe I need to eat 200g of dried lean beef daily.
Why would you just eat beef?

>> No.3970480

>>3970398
I once made a thread about suedo intellectuals. Not so much a thread as a picture of suede clothes resembling a person.

Yes. That was a good day.

>> No.3970483

>>3970480
They always listen to bands like this too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPFd-CHLaAA

>> No.3970496

Oh look it's just what I've been waiting for my whole life

A blog post about how to turn my life upside-down and become the miracle that is me

Sure I just have to follow the guidelines outlined in the page, and they even added numbers so I don't get lost with all the text and images, not to mention youtube links

If only I had known before that all I have to do is act like a movie character

>> No.3970499

>>3970477
Why wouldn't you?

>> No.3970500
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3970500

>Shit I realized at fucking birth
And you cretins still haven't caught up? Do you literally live inside your shitty genre fiction fantasy or what?
>wow i didnt realize D:

>> No.3970503

>>3970455
that's the smell of manhood, buddy

>> No.3970506

>>3970477
that was exactly his point, read his conversation, it makes sense

>> No.3970508

>>3970500
so you realized about that shit and became the kind of person that boasts about being ahead of everyone, through the internet?

>> No.3970511

>>3970508
>stop it :( you are not the model human created in the dogmatic cracked article i am now going to dedicate my entire life to following

>> No.3970515

>>3970506
>that was exactly his point, read his conversation, it makes sense
He was told to eat protein, not just beef. You get protein from hundreds of other sources.

>> No.3970549

>>3970248
god damn, it's happening.

>> No.3970733
File: 652 KB, 1234x1543, we're going to need more cores where we're going.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3970733

>the only worthwhile thing in life is how others perceive you

>> No.3971346

>>3968768
I saw this a while ago and they all seem pretty obvious. This Book is Full of Spiders was more of a rude awakening to me than this article was.

>> No.3972238

>>3968768
The funny thing is...the guy who wrote this article...is a published author. He is far more successful than anyone on /lit/ will ever be. Everyone in this thread is doing just what the article suggests...bouncing between defense mechanisms.

>> No.3972284

Yeah, I gave it a "glimpse". It seemed like capitalist propaganda to me. I do things my way, and I don't give a damn what other people want me to produce for them. I produce what makes me feel fulfilled, and I don't care if that doesn't make a single cent. I'll self-publish. I'll jam it in their faces every time they go to read some other self-published hipster until they read this self-published hipster guy right here. And if they don't read it? So be it. I'll just keep writing and try again.

People these days use the other side of articles like this to excuse the fact that they're needy, whiny, and dependent. I don't care who accepts me or not, I accept me.

>> No.3972309

>>3972284
>I'll self-publish. I'll jam it in their faces every time they go to read some other self-published hipster until they read this self-published hipster guy right here.

You seem quite desperate for either validation or money.

>> No.3972327

>>3972309
The virtue of seeking validation depends on how you approach it. I want my views to be validated so maybe I can connect with people and help them feel better or more informed about their own lives. Failing that, my sense of purpose is its own virtue, and I'm not just gonna write manuscripts to prop up wobbly chairs around my house.

Others may want to be validated so that they can feed a life-long addiction to attention.

>> No.3972336

>>3971346
How so?

>> No.3972340

>>3972327
Then you are doing exactly what the article advised.

>> No.3972346

>>3972238
>He is far more successful than anyone on /lit/ will ever be

I think you misjudge /lit/ somewhat. There certainly are successful people here, not that I'm claiming to be one of them.

It's not so much about defence mechanisms, as calling out the reductive bullshit arguments in the article. It is an idealogical, skewered way of looking life that suits psychopaths or those trampled and scared very well, but not anyone who is well adjusted.

That said, the scene the article featured is indeed fantastic, though not entirely for the reason the author seemed to think. There was a telling section where he claimed that 50% of viewers of that scene will think "What an asshole boss" and 50% "let's go make some real estate", as if those are the only too rational reactions.

As far as the author of that article is concerned, you are either a snivelling untermensch hiding in a ball of self-deception, or a Randian Superman off to SELL SOME REAL ESTATE.

>> No.3972348

>>3972336
The book really was full of spiders, I guess.

>> No.3972349

>>3972340
The article seemed to me to be condescending and capitalistic and preachy. There are better ways to advise that purpose is its own virtue. Like just saying it in that many words. The article just comes across as trying to create industrious peoples for this, our great US of A

>> No.3972350

Everything David Wong writes is just a shitty self promotion for his shitty book, that shitty article is no exception.

>> No.3972359

>>3972346
What other reactions could you have then?
>>3972348
I actually laughed my hole off at that. Well done!

>> No.3972361

>>3972359
"Cool scene, man."

>> No.3972367

>>3972350
But both his books are good.

>> No.3972411

>>3972346
You're taking it too literally.

>> No.3973224

>>3968768
Well, fuck. I feel worse about myself--but not motivated.

>> No.3973330

That was the most depressing thing I've read in a long time, but not because any of it applied to me.

>> No.3974758

>>3972349
This. Aside from the fact of these little indictments being about as profound as saying water is, in fact, wet.

>> No.3974789

>>3974758
So you agree with it all, except you think water is not wet?