/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3962520]

Rate my crappy aphorism/prose poem

Love is arson, a tickling dance of flames along the tongue and throat, the traces of vodka down into the somach, that builds and gulps in time nuancing, elegant, its shape contorting like the waltz of a ballet-eplileptic, turning sometimes, flashes of colour in the tips of each burst; green for copper, lilac for potassium, curling in on itself and splitting as more fuel is added, as the blaze climbs up the wallpaper, bursting the fitted lightbulbes causing a rain of glass and kisses, the floor now totally swallowed in roars and clicks of pyromantic lions and cicadas, echoing charing like an express locomotive down the halls and u so chandeliers are disloged, the lintels buckle, the beams split by carbonforming axes tendons of wood snapping and- love is what remains after arson.

The remnants of two Pompeiians, a burn house, a shell- that, the remained the ten divided by eight is one remainder two the two are lovers and the one is their love, a museum to their adorations, decorations, testimonies. Love is the scaffold on which the hangman's daughter dances. No matter how black or cracked it is, what's there has a lifespan of steel. What lives after the passion is the fruit. If music is the fruit of love, if arson is its flint-stone, burn on.

[Anonymous No.3962549]

You're right. It is crappy. Don't ever write an aphorism again, you jaded fuck.

[Anonymous No.3962770]

Just needs a sick beat and a mosh pit and you'll be set, bro.

[Anonymous No.3962802]

good aphorisms are usually use very simple, clear language with very occasional use of lucid imagery.

[Anonymous No.3962831]

>>3962520
Love is asshole, a tickling of balls along the tongue and throat, the traces of semen down into the vagina, that builds and gulps deepthroat, depthroat, its shape like the shaft of a cock, squirting sometimes, flashes of jizz from the tip of each dick; green for snot, lilac for homosexuality, pooping in on itself and splitting her legs as more fuel is added, as the balls climb up her face, bursting the fitted boobs causing the gassing of kikes, the floor now totally swallowed in roars and clicks of pedoromantic dudes and chicks, echoing horny, horny, horny, down the balls and the mandolins dislogged, the linux bugger, the dick split by ni
ah i got bored

[Anonymous No.3962893]

Love is a crusted glass
still sleeping from last
night. Laying lifeless
where it was drained
of its sagacious fizz.

Love is dead tonic covering
up the bitterness
of the whiskey bottle
you consumed the warmth from
just to vomit up in the morning.

Love is the splatter
on cement: the moment
you regret because
you knew the whole damn
time it was what you wanted.

[Anonymous No.3962913]

>>3962802
Hence why I said it's crappy. I think I'll take first poster's advice.
>>3962831
Lel