[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

View post   
File: 561 KB, 320x200, blackadder.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3955335 No.3955335 [Reply] [Original]

Hmm, does this make sense in literary terms? or is it a bit cobbled together?


"We have abandoned the monsters that we used to fear,
science having proven that they did not exist.
Instead we are now presented with monsters
which scientific inquiry says do exist,
and those are much more terrifying."

>> No.3955344

>>3955335
I don't like to hear/read about "science" doing anything. It isn't a being. Say 'scientists/researchers' or 'they'.

>> No.3955347

No, it sounds like new-age, continental, theology gibberish. Try >>>/x/

>> No.3955351

>>3955335
I'm not fond of the don't exist/do exist parallelism. I'd prefer to rephrase the second time.

"Now we face more terrifying monsters, for they are real." or something.

I just think you have to use a really really light touch on structural parallelism or else it sounds forced.

>> No.3955371

>>3955347
surely that depends on what OP is talking about?

What if it refers to medical science? Or human character flaws?

>> No.3955404

I don't know, there's just something about it that bugs me. It doesn't flow very well.

Maybe something like

>Mankind has finally ceased it's superstitious belief in beings that have been proven false.
>Not long after we were met by horrific monstrosities that are very real.