/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3934593]

Post /lit/ related humour.

[Anonymous No.3934596]

[Anonymous No.3934598]

>>3934593

[Anonymous No.3934601]

>>3934598

[Anonymous No.3934614]

>>3934601

[Anonymous No.3934616]

>>3934614

That's /lit/ related because the woman is a hipster author from new england or something

[Anonymous No.3934617]

>>3934596
I know it's exaggeration for effect, but hardly anyone on /lit/ claims to like Finnegans Wake.

[Anonymous No.3934618]

>>3934616

[Anonymous No.3934625]

[Anonymous No.3934630]

[Anonymous No.3934637]

>>3934596
This is so wrong. I worship Nabokov.

[Anonymous No.3934639]

>>3934630

[Anonymous No.3934640]

>>3934593
i am guilty of most, and one more than once so i must be plebby

[Anonymous No.3934663]

>>3934640
It's a complete joke, I believed it until it said no English speaking country is in the top 50, top 10 maybe I could believe but no way top 50.

[Anonymous No.3934669]

>>3934630
The prose written for this comic is nothing like that which McCarthy has ever written.

I find it hard to believe the author even read a McCarthy book (the header about Oprah is strong evidence for that).

[Anonymous No.3934674]

>>3934663

> top 10 maybe

>ihaveperformedaruse.jpg

[Anonymous No.3935197]

[Anonymous No.3935854]

>>3935197
I laughed reverently

[Anonymous No.3935862]

>>3934618
it's funny cause it's true

[Anonymous No.3935870]

[Anonymous No.3935874]

[Anonymous No.3935925]

>>3934618
That guy seems mad.

[Anonymous No.3935936]

>>3934618
that guy seems to think that knowing what we can and do know isn't very important :(

[The Firesign Theatre !02i3ppf8n. No.3935946]

>>3935874
ha

[The Firesign Theatre !02i3ppf8n. No.3935950]

[The Firesign Theatre !02i3ppf8n. No.3935967]

fresh oc coming through

[Anonymous No.3935999]

[Anonymous No.3936005]

[Anonymous No.3936023]

>>3935999
I don't get how this is clever nor funny.

They just put Metamorphosis into Peanuts, without actually doing anything with the Peanuts aspect of it that would make it intelligent or even make it worthwhile that the author chose Peanuts at all.

Why not Doonsebury or Garfield? It would be the same if it was Garfield turned into a beetle, saying some shit like "I hate mondays!"

You all laugh at trash like this because it refers to Kafka, so you think you're enlightened and intelligent for getting the joke, but there is no joke to get. There is no creativity there. Just a mediocre mash-up for no reason and no point.

[Blood Rainbow !!6ueS4TJTaQw No.3936024]

>>3934618
lol this guy has no idea what objective means for Hegel

[Anonymous No.3936025]

>>3936023
Peanuts was never funny.

I always found it too dry. I'm very biased towards Calvin and Hobbes.

[Anonymous No.3936030]

>>3936025

[Screwtape !!tdBUE9PLvpz No.3936065]

>>3936023
Charlie Brown has the most weltschmerz of any newspaper comic
Masterpiece Comics was great idgaf

[Anonymous No.3936071]

[Anonymous No.3936536]

>>3935999
haha this one is really great. best itt.

[Anonymous No.3936568]

[Anonymous No.3937485]

>>3934593
>thinks that any english speaking country is one of the best 50

Go right now. Name 50 countries that write better than UK, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, USA or Canada

[Anonymous No.3937490]

>>3937485
Did you not read the words in the OP? It's a thread for jokes. That's not the original version of the chart.

[Anonymous No.3937837]

>>3934618
i don't find flowers that beautiful anyway

[Anonymous No.3937870]

>>3936023
comedy gold

[Anonymous No.3940033]

>>3934630
>You wear a star, but what law do you uphold?
13/13

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940086]

>>3940033
>/lit/
>humor

Pick one.

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940087]

>>3940086

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940089]

>>3940087
lel sunhoc

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940090]

>>3940089

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940094]

>>3940090

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940098]

>>3940094

[Anonymous No.3940112]

>>3940089
Shut up, Stephen King is the best author of our generation.

[Anonymous No.3940126]

[Anonymous No.3940128]

>>3940112
Then our generation is doomed.

[Anonymous No.3940130]

[TheDucBlangis !wGRi2lXBc6 No.3940140]

>>3940112
I didn't make that chart, SunHawk did. And it is a horrible chart. But I don't care much for Stephen King anyway.

[Anonymous No.3940141]

>>3940130
this isn't /lit/
also one of those pictures is spammed across every plebbook account and the other is shown only to people who already agree with the group in general

[Anonymous No.3940162]

>>3940141
I wish someone told /fit/ this, because they always go crazy about it, blame everyone around and then pat themselves for hours talking about their hurt feelings.

[Anonymous No.3940917]

>>3940141
I love this. Objectivism can only rocket you down or up.
>Tell insecure "intellectual" to read Fountainhead
>Loved it, eats up my copypasta speeches
>Go back to being me, loves me more
>Fuck a lot in the rain
Good couple o' months I tell you hwat

[Anonymous No.3942260]

okay i think i have a few

[Anonymous No.3942262]

>>3942260

[Anonymous No.3942263]

>>3942262
>yeah meta!

[Anonymous No.3942264]

>>3942263

[Anonymous No.3942265]

>>3942264

[Anonymous No.3942266]

>>3942265

[Anonymous No.3942268]

>>3934618
>dat incorrectly used semicolon

[Screwtape !!tdBUE9PLvpz No.3942273]

[Anonymous No.3942286]

>/lit/
>humour

[Anonymous No.3942292]

>>3940141
>this isn't /lit/

[Anonymous No.3942305]

>>3942292

Huh? His name isnt scooby?

[Anonymous No.3942313]

>>3942292
Fuck, I still can't believe it. Though I always suspected he might be gay. Do you think he will ever come back? The faggots over at /fit/ are posting pics of his house, details of the company he works for, and are probing his private life like a forensic team.

[Anonymous No.3942316]

>>3942305
No, he's called Dan. Roger is his partner.

[Anonymous No.3942320]

>>3942316

Mfw

[Anonymous No.3942323]

>>3942313
I thought people liked scooby...

[Anonymous No.3942330]

>>3942323

>implying they dont

[Anonymous No.3942332]

>>3942323
They do like him. Everyone likes him, although a small group are going to rip into him for being gay now. But he's bound to lose his job with 500 /fit/izens calling up and asking for the Natty Overloard. And they're posting his wages, home address, house value, all sorts.

A few days ago he was a guy making helpful youtube vids. Now thousands of people are sharing all of his personal info anime image board. He's probably quite worried.

[Anonymous No.3942365]

>>3942332
Wait, what happened? How did they find this?

[Anonymous No.3942376]

>>3942365
I think someone hacked his youtube account then managed to get all of his details. I'm not sure though. It turns out he's originally from South Africa, he's gay, and he's Jewish. I'm not sure how 4chan will swallow that.

[Anonymous No.3942384]

>>3942376
Poor guy. I like him.

[Anonymous No.3942388]

>>3942376
>he's originally from South Africa, he's gay, and he's Jewish

[Anonymous No.3942390]

>>3940089
But I read Asimov as a kid. Every book he had in the library. Read Foundation twice.

[Anonymous No.3942392]

>>3942388
He does look a bit jewish.

[Anonymous No.3942397]

>>3942392

[Anonymous No.3942421]

>>3942388
What a combo

[Anonymous No.3942453]

>>3936023
>>3936023
The guy who made this has done more stuff like this and he already used garfield for Faust. Here is his response why he used peanuts. I agree with you, it isn't very subtle but I think it is funny how he combines classic comic strips with classic literature. Check out Masterpiece Comics. - my personal favourite is his combination of crime and punishment and batman.

[Anonymous No.3942460]

>>3934601
Everytime.

[Anonymous No.3942461]

>>3942388
does a photo exist of him without a hat?

[Anonymous No.3942480]

>>3942332
>>3942461
ah nvm

[Anonymous No.3942485]

Does anyone have that greentext where a guy throws a girl's copy of Infinite Jest across the library?

[Anonymous No.3942501]

>>3934614
That's funny, I remember when that happened. Marie sent me that screenshot herself.

[Anonymous No.3942505]

>>3942376
Why is anyone screaming "ah ha!" with the gay thing. You could hear the guy talk for a femtosecond and figure out he is gay.

[Anonymous No.3942512]

>>3942505
his tutorials transcended the gay/straight dichotomy

[Anonymous No.3942521]

>>3942397
>>3942388
People are surprised a guy into bodybuilding is gay? Is this a joke?

[Anonymous No.3942531]

>>3942521
top kek

>Has a shitty body
>Calls everyone else gay to justify his shitty body

[Anonymous No.3942535]

>>3934614
>>3934601
God. I sure do need to come to /lit/ more often for hilarity.

My fiancee's out with her mom for dinner tonight... I could be your boyfriend.

[Anonymous No.3942536]

>>3942531
You're projecting here. It's just seems obvious to me that a guy who is obsessed about the male body's aesthetics could also (eventually) find a sexual appeal in it, and appreciate the company of people who share his interests as well.

Well, that and the fact my gay friends fucking love hitting the gym.

[Anonymous No.3942548]

>>3942536
It's not being obsessed with male body aesthetics, it's being obsessed with your own body. Quite a large chunk of us lift to improve our body image, try and combat confidence issues, or because it makes us more appealing to females. In the majority of cases the underlying motive is vanity and self-improvement, not homosexuality.

I really struggle to understand why people don't enjoy working out.

[Anonymous No.3942550]

>>3940087
I don't know what it is, but I just can't stand Salinger. Well, not him, but The Catcher in the Rye is just too angst-ridden for me to enjoy it.

[Anonymous No.3942554]

>>3942548
Good for you, man. I'm not against it by any means, my little brother got into it a couple months ago and I'm even supportive of it. If it works for you, it's all good.

[Anonymous No.3942556]

>>3942548
>I really struggle to understand why people don't enjoy working out.
It's because they're weak-willed and they compensate by insulting it. Defense-mechanisms 101 buddy; do you even psychoanalysis?

[Anonymous No.3942579]

>>3942556
>people who don't like what i like must have something wrong with them and a problem with what i do
>they're the ones with defense mechanisms

[Anonymous No.3942588]

>>3942579

[Anonymous No.3942596]

>>3942579
>more fat-acceptance posturing

Fuck off and get to the gym you ugly cunt.

[Anonymous No.3942603]

>>3942588
>>3942596
geez, do whatever the fuck you want, i really don't care, i just don't get why people find it offensive other people don't want to do what they do. you guys sure do have some issues to get this angry at someone liking different things

[Anonymous No.3942621]

>>3942548

Because most people aren't narcissistic idiots with self-image problems. Some people actually have fulfilling lives, with shit to do that doesn't involve lifting things over and over again.

[Anonymous No.3942622]

>>3942554
You mean being gay?

[Anonymous No.3942627]

>>3942596
Not that guy, but it's hardly fat acceptance. Many people are happy being a healthy weight without sculpting their body to achieve an aesthetic ideal. I play basketball at the weekend and go to the gym usually twice, sometimes three times a week. That's fine for me, I think I look pretty healthy as I am. To be honest I think going to the gym 6x a week and spending hours there just so you can look a particular way is a little vain. My appearance isn't important enough to me to put in the hours, the same reason I have short hair that I spent 30 seconds in the morning styling than having some hairstyle that takes me 20 mins to do. I'm not trying to insult you but I feel like that type of thing is a little feminine.

[Anonymous No.3942629]

>>3942603
>telling people what to do to make yourself feel better for having a disgusting body

That's a nice defense mechanism you've got yourself there

[Anonymous No.3942633]

>>3942627
If you go three times a week, you would have a pretty decent body unless you just do cardio. six days is unnecessary.

[Anonymous No.3942634]

>>3942629
>Spending 8 hours a week working out, using vanity to run away from negative feelings about yourself
>Insulting anonymous strangers on an imageboard for having a dissenting opinion

Uhhh...do you know what a defense mechanism is?

[Anonymous No.3942635]

>>3942622
Good job on realizing it could be taken both ways

[Anonymous No.3942642]

>>3942634
>implying that anyone works out for 8hrs a day.

Keep telling yourself that. You're so "above it" aren't you? Top lel.

[Anonymous No.3942643]

>>3942633
I have what I'd describe as a normal body. I'm not fat at all but I don't have a six pack or anything, or do I want one. I like to enjoy good food and wine, you'd never see me eating some crazy bodybuilders diet, drinking a disgusting protein shake. I don't just do cardio, I lift a bit too, but the only reason for that is to maintain a straight posture. I think all that "Feel the burn" stuff is a little homoerotic.

[Anonymous No.3942645]

>>3942642
What are you doing on lit if you can't read, moron?

[Anonymous No.3942649]

>>3942645
>calling someone a moron to distract yourself from your insecurity.

Cool defense mechanism there m8

[Anonymous No.3942654]

>>3942649
ruse detected

[Anonymous No.3942657]

>>3942548
>I really struggle to understand why people don't enjoy working out.
Same.

Strangely it seems to be quite common in academia. The strangest thing is seeing an obese doctor smoking. I fail to understand why people highly value developing their minds, but severely neglect their body. I also find the inverse strange, but it's not quite as shocking.

It seems like the worst era for fitness too, with over 30% of the population obese, and over 60% overweight. I look around my lecture hall and see an ocean of fat, sweaty, wheezing people, insulin spikes, and no energy. Honestly it disgust me, but I wouldn't preach to them directly. It's a shame they don't that realise with a little motivation they could look good, and drastically increase their focus and concentration too.

[Anonymous No.3942674]

>>3942643
>you'd never see me eating some crazy bodybuilders diet
You mean the correct caloric intake relative to your energy output? Crazy idea.

>drinking a disgusting protein shake.
Protein shakes are fucking delicious, what are you talking about?

>I don't just do cardio, I lift a bit too, but the only reason for that is to maintain a straight posture
What are you doing to maintain a straight posture?

>I think all that "Feel the burn" stuff is a little homoerotic.
Bro, if you're feeling a little homo when you get a pump, that's you not the weights.

[Anonymous No.3942794]

>>3942643
This is a common fallacy.
I deadlift >500lb, I weight ~200lbs and have visible abs.
I had five guys on saturday (first restaurant in the UK, shit was so cash).
It's not about constant punishment, it's about good general habits. I like food too and I don't intend to partake in and bodybuilding comps, so I eat healthily most of the time.
If I want a Big Mac once in a while I'm fine with doing it, 90% of my shit is so tight that it doesn't even matter.
You could probably do a bit of research and get far better results without spending significantly more time.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3942802]

>>3942794
>I had five guys on saturday (first restaurant in the UK, shit was so cash).
what?

[Anonymous No.3942823]

>>3942794
Nah, the guy is talking bollocks. He said:

>go to the gym usually twice, sometimes three times a week.
>I lift but the only reason for that is to maintain a straight posture.
>I think all that "Feel the burn" stuff is a little homoerotic.

He has clearly never set foot in a gym in his life. What would he be doing for posture? Deads, core work, maybe some planks, maybe even lats, or tying to hit his obliques.

There is no way in hell he goes 3 times a week, but thinks 'feeling the burn' is gay. He must be dead lifting the bar and dropping it after two reps. Also, if he is only going for "posture" (lol) he would mainly be working his core and would have abs.

[Anonymous No.3942923]

Why are we being invaded by /fit/?

I go to the gym mostly for cardio but also the weight machines and every time I go, I see some dudes with tiny head and huge muscles and can't help but think how strange it looks. To have that much muscle only suits some people.

Yes your body is a temple and all that but it's laughable how extreme people get into their regimes that they neglect aesthetics which actually suit them. More to the point, I have friends who are extremely unfit and could not run for shit as all they do is lift and there's nothing particularly respectable about that as it's pure narcissism.

[Anonymous No.3942930]

>>3942802
http://www.fiveguys.com/

[Anonymous No.3942955]

>>3942930

I've heard nothing good about the place so far and I think it costs something like £8 for a burger.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3942967]

>>3942923
>Why are we being invaded by /fit/?
Because you are a bunch of fat lazy bastards that need to work out once in a while.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3942971]

>>3942967
>implying

[Anonymous No.3942981]

>>3942967
Last time I was in the gym, I saw this alpha motherfucker across the room. I caught his eye, and he caught mine, so I had to assert my dominance in the only way I knew. I squared my shoulders and started lifting anything I could find, throwing plates at the bar, and that fucker matched me, plate for plate, lift for lift. I gave him a wink, and he gave me a cheeky wink back, and we went for a high-five. Then I realized I was facing a mirror, and I pulled down my shorts and masturbated to my own reflection.

[Anonymous No.3942996]

>>3942967

I usually tip my hat whenever I see a gym-rat in the street. I hold the utmost respect for those guys.

[Anonymous No.3943002]

>>3942981
>tfw home gym

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3943006]

>>3942981
You must be one sexy beast, bro. Keep up the good work.

[Anonymous No.3943012]

>>3942996
That ottermode is hardly a gym-rat. He's been lifting for 12-18 months tops.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3943026]

>>3943012
It depends what he was starting with. In some people that could take 4 years.

[Anonymous No.3943318]

>>3942388
>>3942384
>>3942376

What's the story behind this guy? I don't go on /fit/ but I'm interested.

[Anonymous No.3943328]

>>3943318
Youtube fitness "celebrity" who recently got dox'd by /fit/. They found out his name, assets, same-sex marriage, and a whole host of other stuff.

[Anonymous No.3943344]

>>3943328
What was the motivation behind doing that to him?

[Anonymous No.3943347]

>>3943328
Poor Scooby.

[Anonymous No.3943352]

>>3943344
/b/ mentality. It was just one guy that did it, but obviously everyone took an interest.

[Anonymous No.3943357]

>>3943344
I don't know, to tell you the truth. A lot of /fit/izens seem to despise Scooby, for some reason. I've always thought he was polite, sincere, and an overall asset to youtube and /fit/. I mean, I never really watched his videos or followed his fitness advice, but I did like seeing his occasional post and I liked knowing he was out there, doing his thing.

Now, they're even calling his job multiple times a day, asking for him and generally making his life hell. 4chan, man. 4chan.

[Anonymous No.3943360]

>>3943344
It wasn't just a random guy from YouTube. He also tripfags on /fit/.

[Anonymous No.3943362]

>>3943352
>It was just one guy that did it

One guy dox'd him, but a hoard jumped on the info. It's not just one dude harassing Scoob.

[Anonymous No.3943364]

>>3943357
Shit man. It's always awful when that happens to some guy who likely didn't even deserve it. I could see if he was some sort of asshole 15 year old who had it coming to him, but someone who was actually an asset? This is why I put as little personal info on the Internet as possible.

[Anonymous No.3943421]

Two words

Parrot Porn

[Anonymous No.3943432]

[Anonymous No.3943466]

So deep
So deep
I am so deep,
Inside
Inside her
Inside her anus,
And she shits blood
I swim in it
I am a monkey
She a flower
In bloom an atrocity
And we rape the seeds that grow to feed
She looks at me and asks if this is love anymore
A beaches whale against an ocean of madness
Chaos
Spring in the autumn
Adrift in the squirting

Leaves
Leaves man
Fucking leaves

I hope for rain...

[Anonymous No.3943512]

>>3943466
0/10

[Anonymous No.3943532]

>>3934618
I still think this guy was onto something, though he stumbled upon it ironically.

[Anonymous No.3943538]

>>3935950
>"I'll kill him! I'LL KILL HIM!"

Probably the funniest thing I have ever read. I didn't really laugh at any other part, but this got me good.

[Anonymous No.3943815]

>>3942384

[Anonymous No.3943841]

>>3942266
lame

[Anonymous No.3943856]

>>3940086

[Anonymous No.3943870]

[Anonymous No.3943890]

>>3942265
>not Kant Destroyer

[Anonymous No.3944147]

[Anonymous No.3944168]

>>3940089
that image makes me physically angry

[Anonymous No.3944258]

[Anonymous No.3944340]

>>3943364
>>3943362
He's still talking to /fit/. I'm not sure if he'll ever come back though.

[Anonymous No.3944369]

>>3944340
Some tripfag on /fit/ made this. The singing is terrible though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCpibdr6ZOk

[Anonymous No.3944507]

[Anonymous No.3944508]

>>3942548

I want to work out and get real fit so I can date fat chicks and not seem like I'm settling.

[Anonymous No.3944516]

>>3944508
Do it for yourself, bro.

[Anonymous No.3944520]

>>3944516
>not staying bearmode

[Anonymous No.3944553]

>>3944516

I didn't know lifting weights made your hair grow back.

[Anonymous No.3944559]

>>3944553
if you get a buzz cut, your hair will grow back by itself. you don't even have to do anything. isn't that crazy?

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3944568]

>>3944516
How many weights do I have to lift to get this body? Which body is considered highbrow?

[Anonymous No.3944577]

>>3944520

This, I want to go from fat to bearmde

Been lifting for two months now and have made decent and noticeable gains in my arms, legs, and back

However my guy just wont do anything, I don't seem to be losing fat

[Anonymous No.3944581]

>>3944577
Do curls, yo. Work them abs.

[Anonymous No.3944583]

>>3944581

Working a muscle group wont make you lose fat in that groups area

[Anonymous No.3944584]

>>3944568
>How many weights do I have to lift to get this body?
A very rough guess:

>4 days a week
>5x8 for 5 exercises a session (approximating a mean from SS to split body)

= 125 a session, 500 a week.
Say that guy has a min of 3 years, so 78,000 times

You have to lift a weight 78,000 times – with various exercises and a decent diet– to get that body.

>Which body is considered highbrow?
In the general public? Ottermode.

[Anonymous No.3944587]

>>3944568
this is highbrow mode

but you have to train from child

[Anonymous No.3944589]

>>3944584
>Ottermode
Isn't that also among the easiest to achieve?

[Anonymous No.3944590]

>>3944577
>However my guy just wont do anything, I don't seem to be losing fat
What deficit are you eating at?

[Anonymous No.3944594]

[Anonymous No.3944596]

>>3944577

you probably havent changed your fat boy diet and are still eating too much carbs and sugars and not enough protien and shit

eat protien but less calories

[Anonymous No.3944600]

>>3944589
>Isn't that also among the easiest to achieve?
Yeah, it is. But keep in mind that over 60% of the population is overweight. Most people will find perma-bulk and constant lifting slightly easier than bulk/cut cycles and maintaining a permanent low bf%.

[Anonymous No.3944606]

>>3944600
>Most people will find perma-bulk and constant lifting slightly easier than bulk/cut cycles and maintaining a permanent low bf%.
Not sure I understand much of what you're saying; I'm not familiar with fitness related vocabulary. Are you saying that although easy to reach, maintaining Ottermode is more problematic than maintaining those harder to achieve?

[Anonymous No.3944612]

>>3944606
I think the gist of it is that changing your habits is hard as hell.

[Anonymous No.3944617]

>>3944606
It's easy to reach the muscle level needed, but you're a fatasfatass and will cry and give up when trying to cut, because you will continue to eat like a fatasfatass.

[Anonymous No.3944620]

>>3944606
>maintaining Ottermode is more problematic than maintaining those harder to achieve?

Not so much 'more'...

It boarders on impossible to build lean muscle mass and cut excess body fat simultaneously for a prolonged period. Most people will cycle through a bulking phase (taking in more calories than their Total Daily Expenditure) to build muscle, and a cutting phase (eating at a deficit) to cut fat. The problem is that when you bulk you store unwanted fat, and when you cut you convert some muscle into glycogen for fuel.

It's not that hard to bulk/cut properly, but the easiest thing for someone just wanting to be strong is to always eat at a bulk, and get fat and strong like pic related. Now, he could spend 6 months cutting that fat away, but he wouldn't be building much muscle mass in that time as he can't consume enough calories to do it.

[Anonymous No.3944631]

>>3944620
And this >>3944612

Considering that majority of the population lacks the willpower to stop shovelling food into their faces, most of them lack the discipline to turn their bodies into how they want them.

[Anonymous No.3944634]

>>3944631
>lacks the willpower to stop shovelling food into their faces
>tfw I have the opposite problem

[Anonymous No.3944648]

>>3944634
Anorexic?

[Anonymous No.3944655]

Guys what's the best method to look good naked? I don't care about being strong or shit, I just want to have a good looking body

[Anonymous No.3944656]

>>3944648
Yeah, it's not that bad but I have problems to eat enough.

[Anonymous No.3944663]

>>3944656
Try using MyFitnessPal.

You just scan what you eat with your phone camera, and it gives you a complete nutritional breakdown and tracks your diet. You group food that you eat a lot into meals, and as people usually buy roughly the same stuff, it intuitively works out your eating patterns for you, and you only have to scan things once.

Set your future goals, or adjust your macro intake, and your diet will be perfect.

I'm currently eating 3,250Kcal with 210g of protein, and it's so easy to do. I hardly have to think about it, I just tap my phone a few times whenever I eat.

[Anonymous No.3944668]

>>3944663
Thanks, that sounds great.
Going to look into this.

[Anonymous No.3944681]

>>3944663
Lolwut

I just have two shakes per day, 300g chicken and a liter of milk and I'm almost at 180g

I'm 83kg so I only need like 180-190 grams of protein per day

[Anonymous No.3944682]

>>3944516
That guy looks like 5'8"

[Anonymous No.3944686]

>>3944682
>estimating a height when there's no relative height to compare it with
But anyway, is it easier/harder for shorter men to lose weigh?

[Anonymous No.3944690]

>>3944663
by scan what do you mean? that the food needs to have a barcode or you can just take a picture and it fucking knows what's up

because almost nothing i eat is prepackaged and if it is, it doesn't have a barcode that the app will likely read

[Anonymous No.3944694]

>>3944690
You take a blurry picture of half of it and BAM, it tells you how it will taste, if you gonna like it, how it's called in 12 languages and gives you 5 bucks and a blowjob

[Anonymous No.3944696]

>>3944686
>is it easier/harder for shorter men to lose weigh?
Generally it's easy for shorter men.

If you take two guys that have 10 inches in height difference but the same body fat%, the taller guy will have a higher volume of body fat to shed.

[Anonymous No.3944704]

>>3944690
>by scan what do you mean?
Barcode

>because almost nothing i eat is prepackaged and if it is, it doesn't have a barcode that the app will likely read
Really? Apart from fresh fruit and veg, virtually everything here has a barcode. Does your store weigh everything at the checkout?

Either way, you only have to enter it once. If you buy pecan nuts, you select it from the database once, and it will always remember that you have bought pecan nuts.

[Anonymous No.3944707]

>>3944704
>Apart from fresh fruit and veg, virtually everything here has a barcode.
Fruit and veg has a barcode where I am. You pick up what you want, some dude weights it and prints a barcode label, that gets stuck on the bag, then you scan it at checkout.

[Anonymous No.3944719]

>>3944694
god, it should, what have you done for me lately science?

>>3944704
other than canned ingredients (garbanzo beans)/sauces/spices/etc i pretty much only eat butcher meat, vegetables, and fruits. i even make my own yogurt and queso fresca.

[Anonymous No.3944955]

[Anonymous No.3944961]

[Anonymous No.3945001]

Gimme some Game of Thrones-jokes, bitte.

[Anonymous No.3945015]

>>3945001
err. g-george martin has a, err, twitter account now.

I guess he, err, something witty about killing 140 characters.

[Anonymous No.3945056]

>>3945015
XD

[Anonymous No.3945098]

Did anyone ever capture BB's "except prettier, and less slutty" threads?

[Anonymous No.3945571]

>>3945098
I thought I did but I can't find any.

[OP No.3945636]

>>3934593
>pleb hasn't read the Bible, thinks has any understanding of Pynchon
both the bible and pynchon are shit
>thinks lolita is worth reading after high school
thinks lolita is worth reading before 30.

[OP No.3945648]

>>3935950
don't read Notes from Underground.
it's rubbish
1st 30 pages are an obscure rant about how people don't really want pleasure and prefer pain.
The theme is interesting, but the writing is awfuL

[OP No.3945653]

>>3942550
>too angst-ridden for me to enjoy it.
it's about catching fucking souls before they fall, faget.

[Anonymous No.3945655]

oh and I'm not OP.

[Anonymous No.3945679]

>>3945648
You just convinced me to read it then

[Anonymous No.3945867]

>>3945648
>has only read the first 30 pages

[Anonymous No.3945918]

>>3943328
>Youtube fitness "celebrity" who recently got dox'd by /fit/. They found out his name, assets, same-sex marriage, and a whole host of other stuff.

Scooby has returned to /fit/

>>>/fit/21372469

[Anonymous No.3945929]

>>3945918
Holy shit, those replies.

[Anonymous No.3945932]

>>3943328
>being suprised that a bodybuilder is a flamer married to a dude

it always cracks me up when the dudes in /fit/ and /fa/ try to act like they are going to impress women and not other gay dudes with their gay antics, lol

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3945935]

I'm lit related humor.
Because I'm a joke.

[Anonymous No.3945936]

>>3945918
>dox'd
Some infos were already known, some were available via his youtube channel, the rest was found by a bunch of dedicated /fit/izens.

[Anonymous No.3945942]

>>3945932
It's okay buddy. You sit there eating potato chips and growing that belly of yours. "Everyone who looks good is gay" is a perfectly valid justification for looking the way you do. Don't ever try to change or better yourself, sneering at others is far easier.

[Anonymous No.3945951]

>>3945936
The only really bad thing they found out is that he's been attending some kind of aids treatment centre. The rest isn't too bad. Well, other than calling his work place, and him being gay, but the aids thing is quite deep.

[Anonymous No.3945964]

>>3945951
So he knows someone who has aids? I doubt he's got it, unless he's got HIV

[Anonymous No.3946072]

>>3944955

Pls be true

[Anonymous No.3946940]

>>3945951
>>3945964
I saw Scooby at a grocery store in bay area one time. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen protein bars in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[Anonymous No.3946969]

[Anonymous No.3947025]

>>3946940
This exact same thing happened to me except it was FlyLo, not Scooby

[Anonymous No.3947038]

>>3947025
what would flylo want with protein bars? dont be silly anon

[Anonymous No.3947049]

>>3946969
I miss him.

[Anonymous No.3947057]

>>3947049
one last one for our good friend Quentin

>ISHYGDDT

[return of the son of zoid !2UbXcE9jpQ No.3947075]

>>3947049

>wearing a suit at home

[Anonymous No.3947077]

>>3946969
What kind of douchebag would do that to him though?

[Anonymous No.3947084]

>>3947075
>Getting dressed in the street

[Anonymous No.3948846]

>>3944516
>not keeping a shaved head and hairy chest
wtf dude

[Anonymous No.3948940]

>>3934640
>>3934663
>>3934674
>post /lit/ related *humour*

[Anonymous No.3948970]

[Anonymous No.3949347]

[Anonymous No.3949389]

>>3947049
I used to think Quentin was a fat pathetic neckbeard but he looks like he can slam pussy whenever he likes

>ISHYGDDT ;_;7

[Anonymous No.3949468]

>>3942556

i hit the gym three times a week and you're still a faggot with no clue

>someone doesn't do something I do
>he must be a fat neckbeard autist plebe

nice 'psychoanalysis' by the way

[CalleBorjesson !4qjq0nOdXk No.3949473]

>>3947077
Probably someone who doesn't like shitposters.

[Anonymous No.3949476]

>>3942642

fucking idiot really

go back to /fit/ you twat

[Anonymous No.3949480]

>>3942674

>calling others 'bro'
>thinking protein shakes are 'delicious'

not even that guy but you sound like a huge fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.3949481]

>>3942823

>making literally nothing but assumptions about a person you don't know at all
>stating them as facts

yeah okay

[Anonymous No.3949499]

>>3949476
>>3949480
>>3949481
All this butthurt samefagging.

[Anonymous No.3949500]

>>3944719

you sound like a really cool person from what I've read this thread

don't let them change you too much okay?

[Anonymous No.3949507]

>>3949480

[Anonymous No.3949549]

>>3949499

i wasnt even trying to act like a different person and from the posting style its really obvious all three are me so yeah

>>3949507

as i stated in another post i really love working out, i just fucking hate /fit/ and it's posters because they're pretty much all self-obsessed bro faggots

[Anonymous No.3949555]

>>3949549

i'd even go as far and say that, with the exception of /b/, /fit/ has the dumbest and also the youngest posters of all 4chan boards

[Anonymous No.3949569]

>>3949549
>all three are me so yeah
plus these two >>3949468 >>3949549

>as i stated in another post i really love working out,
Then why are you attacking someone for saying they like whey shakes?

You sound like a very young teen who is really angry, bitter, and baffled by the whole fitness camaraderie

[Anonymous No.3949615]

>>3949569
not him, but while I think that fitness is great, prioritising physical fitness (as in, developing highly visible muscles) over other pastimes like music/literature/film or w/e just seems extraordinarily vain and masturbatory.
also why do they keep calling each other "bro"

[Anonymous No.3949656]

>>3949555
The best thing (and worst thing, depending on your point of view) about /fit/ is just how hivemind it is. Often, it literally is a collection of people sitting around and waiting for someone to come along and tell them what to think.

If you pay attention, it's often incredibly hilarious. Off the top of my head, I remember a thread a while back about some guy who wore old, unwashed clothes to the gym and some guy there started antagonizing the unwashed dude, saying he smelled like shit. Eventually, the gym staff intervened and the antagonizer left. The first 20 or so posts were of people lauding OP for--I suppose--smelling like shit and not caring about it. It wasn't until someone chimed in to chastize OP that a flurry of other comments chastizing OP began to show.

[Anonymous No.3949659]

>>3949615
I'm sorry, does prioritizing music/literature/film not also seem masturbatory, to you?

If so, can you explain why music/literature/film is any less masturbatory than a chief interest in physical fitness?

[Anonymous No.3949661]

>>3949615
>prioritising physical fitness (as in, developing highly visible muscles) over other pastimes like music/literature/film or w/e just seems extraordinarily vain and masturbatory.
Gaining a muscular body is only part of it for me. Some of it is just an enjoyable hobby. I enjoy learning about peptide bonds between amino acids, what enzymes break them down, how serotonin levels or muscular tissue is changed. I enjoy learning about oligosaccharides, and insulin, tracking my diet, and seeing noticeable changes in my physical performance and cognitive function. I understand the relationship between me and the things I put into my body.

The lifting side is about dedication. I force my body through an hour and a half of intense stress four times a week. I throw myself into it, and everything else vanishes for a while when my muscles are burning and I'm pushing myself as hard as I can. I can feel my body getting stronger, better, and faster, and this translates into many other areas of my life. I wouldn't get anything out of it if I wasn't pushing myself fully.

As a result of this I'm more motivated, I have increased concentration, I don't get tired during the day or lethargic. I look better, I perform better in most things I do. Most importantly I feel better, and I love doing it.

Its not just a pastime. I read, I play piano and guitar, I have a social life and normal hobbies too, but my fitness underpins all of that as a lifestyle. It's my Sisyphus rock.

[Anonymous No.3949668]

>>3949661
that's rly cool
you don't say "bro" or laugh at fat people, I presume?

[Anonymous No.3949690]

>>3949668
>you don't say "bro" or laugh at fat people, I presume?
While I don't actually say 'bro' myself, I don't see much wrong with it. Friendship groups usually adopt their own names and in-jokes after a while, and 'bro', 'buddy', 'dude' are quite common. One of my closest friends and I always use 'sweetheart' and 'darling' to refer to each other, even when we are in busy bar playing pool. This gets a few raised eyebrows, but most of the time people can tell it's just a joke between us.

No, I don't laugh at fat people either. If a person likes being fat, doesn't care, or is happy with their body, then I'm happy for them. I find it disheartening to see a fat person who hates the way they look, yet doesn't do anything to change it though.

[Anonymous No.3949693]

>>3949690
you're an exemplary example of a human being

[Anonymous No.3949706]

>>3949473
>2005
How old were you in 2005

[Anonymous No.3949709]

[Anonymous No.3949811]

>>3934598
this is my favorite, and I really like these books.

[Anonymous No.3950452]

>>3949659

not the anon you replied to but no, not at alll. prioritizing looks over mental goods (like art) is pretty much the definition of superficiality.

[Anonymous No.3950456]

>>3949690

>tfw you call all your friends, female or male babe or sweety
>tfw sweetheart is reserved for your bff

im 2 cute for people to get mad at me for doing this