/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3768198]

>reading through resumes
>BA in English

Into the trash it goes!

[Anonymous No.3768206]

>>3768198
g8 b8 m8
>not /lit/

[Anonymous No.3768207]

>tfw NEETzschean

I don't care, buddy.

[Anonymous No.3768213]

>>3768198
wow you don't know shit about the job market do you. You must be horribly unemployed.

[Anonymous No.3768214]

>reading through resumes
>BA in Women's Studies

Instantly hired!

[Anonymous No.3768221]

Fuck you OP I make 11.50$/hr starting.

[Anonymous No.3768222]

>>3768221

>bragging about making 11.50/hr

top lel, what are you, a janitor?

[Anonymous No.3768225]

>tfw majored in STEM
>tfw don't have to worry about this shit
>tfw make 43k/year and feel like I should be making more
>tfw you will never know this feel

[Anonymous No.3768227]

>reading through resumes
>applicant wasted four years of his life in college

Into the trash it goes!

[Anonymous No.3768230]

>>3768225

>spent four years becoming a walking calculator
>bragging about it

My sides etc.

[Anonymous No.3768234]

>>3768230

You really think that's all STEM is?

I've taken upper-level English and Philosophy courses, they're a fucking joke. Most of you people can't even write well.

>professor announces 10-page final paper
>entire class groans and bitches

>mfw I regularly had to write 30-page lab reports
>no room for fluff, all data, not a word wasted

[Anonymous No.3768235]

>>3768234

[Anonymous No.3768236]

>>3768234
you just went to a shitty school, that's all.

[Anonymous No.3768237]

English majors don't have jobs because they don't deserve jobs. I read more than any of the English majors I knew.

[Anonymous No.3768239]

>>3768236

top lel, whatever helps you sleep at night

I won't even tell you where I went because it'd be bragging. Think "public Ivy"

[Anonymous No.3768245]

>>3768239

All you've done in this thread is brag. Believe it or not some of us care about something besides making 45k/year.

>get Master's in library science
>get cushy job at library through connections
>make 22k/year, enough for rent and food and savings
>nice benefits and a pension
>most days at work I spent 7 hours reading at my desk and maybe one hour actually working or interacting with the public

You will never know these feels, you shallow prick.

[Anonymous No.3768248]

>>3768245

Good luck attracting a wife or raising a family living the slacker hipster life.

[Anonymous No.3768249]

>>3768234
> 10-page final paper

in high school maybe

[Anonymous No.3768252]

>>3768234

>Implying LaTeX doesn't practically write the paper for you
>Implying half the lab report isn't pictures tweaked to fill space

I was once a STEM major too, hoss. Don't act like you're hot shit.

[Anonymous No.3768254]

>>3768248

>wanting to breed

Way to waste your potential.

[Anonymous No.3768256]

>>3768248
>Good luck attracting a wife or raising a family
top lel, opinion dismissed, pls go away, etc.

[Anonymous No.3768258]

>>3768245

I'm fucking jelly m8, how hard is it to get a librarian job?

[Anonymous No.3768259]

Aside troll OP, why do English majors in the USA just study English? If you're good with languages, why not study as many as possible? Not only one gets more /lit/ cred, but also has something that's useful in the job market.
>inb4 they're too dumb

[Anonymous No.3768262]

>>3768258

Fairly difficult. Graduate school ain't free and there aren't a lot of jobs to go around. You need an "in" or else you'll be making 8$/hr working in Alabama or something.

[Anonymous No.3768263]

>>3768248
go to bed heteroscum

[Anonymous No.3768265]

>>3768259

English majors aren't much good at anything. In America English is a "I don't know what I want to major in but I thought The Great Gatsby was cool in high school" major.

It's just a notch above Business and Education majors.

[Anonymous No.3768268]

>>3768259
>>inb4 they're too dumb
They're too dumb. Learning languages is too much like real work and education, and you don't major in English for that.

[Anonymous No.3768273]

>>3768259

English isn't really the study of the language. It's the study of the literary arts and composition (particularly argumentative composition, which is one of the reasons a lot of people use English as a sort of pre-law degree).

[Anonymous No.3768278]

>>3768273

>going to law school
>2013

ISHYGDDT

[Anonymous No.3768281]

>reading through job applications
>applicant majored in Philosophy

Into the McDonald's it goes!

[Anonymous No.3768284]

>>3768265
Are the requirements that relaxed there? Where I live, if a person wants to study the country's language as a university degree, they have to be seriously into it even in the lowest quality education establishments.

[Anonymous No.3768283]

>>3768278

Hey man, the world needs law-pffthahaha okay sorry I just can't.

[Anonymous No.3768286]

>>3768284

This is a country where over 70% of high school graduates attend college.

You can go damn near anywhere you want majoring in anything you please if you're willing to take out loans to pay for it.

[Anonymous No.3768288]

>>3768286

>70%

So High School degree is the new GED and College is the new High School degree, but now everyone's in debt?

[Anonymous No.3768289]

>>3768288

In a word, yes.

[Anonymous No.3768295]

>>3768259

I paired my English degree with a Digital Art and Culture certification. I have experience in graphic design, am fluent with most of the Adobe programs, and have skills in social media for non-profit organizations.

A straight English major with no minor or certification is ridiculous. This point I will concede.

[Anonymous No.3768298]

>>3768265

Weird. At my school English majors need a higher GPA than nursing majors in order to graduate. Also, there are people in the world who actually enjoy studying narratives and text within larger contexts.

Business majors, now them I can go on about forever. It's the ultimate major for people whose dads run companies.

[Anonymous No.3768301]

>>3768298

In 'Murrca, Education majors literally make projects out of construction paper. The smart teacher major in their subject and then get teaching certification after they graduate, Education majors are all dumpy girls who "like, just LOVE kids, y'know?"

[Anonymous No.3768303]

>>3768301

>tfw majoring in Adolescent Education
>tfw this is all too true

Easy pussy though.

[Anonymous No.3768306]

yo OP i'm an english major at Swarthmore. You like your "public Ivy"? Yeah, well eat my shit, you go to a garbage school compared to mine.

I take mostly English classes, and those classes are 70% female. I've fucked nearly 20 english major girls so far, and they're all hot. I don't give a fuck if you can attract girls with your money, I have charisma and an actual personality that exists outside of my dreamspace. In other words, my education pays off every time I open my mouth to speak.

Oh, and here's another reason why my major's better than you. All that talk about "30 page lab reports" is bullshit. First of all, just give me the info and I can write it in a quarter of the time it takes you, guaranteed. Second, I actually enjoy doing my homework, because all it involves is me reading a book and coming up with ~20 pages worth of shit to say about it every once in a while. Shit's so cash, I don't ever complain.

Being an english major is awesome.

[Anonymous No.3768308]

>>3768289

That was at least five words.

[Anonymous No.3768312]

>>3768306
You're actually a NEET, aren't you?

[Anonymous No.3768314]

>>3768306

>he thinks Swarthmore is better than UVA, UPenn, Berkeley, etc. etc.

I'm literally laughing out loud. Enjoy your 35k/year tuition.

[Anonymous No.3768318]

>>3768314
UPenn is Ivy. Penn State is a public school, but not a public Ivy. Minor correction. I'm not the Swarthmore guy.

[Anonymous No.3768323]

>>3768306
i like that your defense of your major is entirely based around how many girls you can pull

jesus wept

[Anonymous No.3768324]

>>3768318

Well UVA and Berkeley then

[Anonymous No.3768326]

>>3768306

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

[Anonymous No.3768333]

>>3768306

Wow you're the biggest faggot I've ever seen on /lit/.

You can't even write.

You don't even know how to use a goddamn comma.

English majors, ladies and gentlemen!

[Anonymous No.3768335]

>>3768314
Actually it's way more than that, but my dad doesn't mind and neither do I. I got into UVA and visited and it was shit, as were all the other schools I got into except the liberal arts schools. Call me whatever you want but I like a liberal arts education, and Swarthmore has a fucking beautiful campus.

And if any of you motherfuckers goes to an Ivy League school, let me just say that I think you're fucking gay

[Anonymous No.3768346]

Oh, look, a university thread.

What's wrong with people studying what they want to study, where they want to study it? Not everyone wants to get a degree simply for their future job.

[Anonymous No.3768350]

>>3768346

Not everyone has rich parents who will drop 40 grand for a useless degree.

>>3768335

>UVA

Lol me too, it is a shit school, the students all seemed like absolute faggots. The kinds of kids who worked really hard in high school to get 4.0s but weren't actually very bright.

[Anonymous No.3768354]

>>3768350
Do you live in a third world country that doesn't have some sort of student loan system?

Also, are you simply saying that you are jealous of people who can study what they want, and so react by trolling on an anonymous imageboard?

[Anonymous No.3768359]

>>3768354

>student loans are like free money bro!

>this is what 20-year-olds actually believe

[Anonymous No.3768364]

>>3768359
Uh, no. You start paying them off in affordable installments once you get a job.

[Anonymous No.3768367]

>>3768364

>once you get a job

>implying you'll make above 10$/hr with a useless degree

I would like my steak medium rare please.

[Anonymous No.3768370]

>>3768335
>I got into UVA and visited and it was shit
>>3768350
>Lol me too, it is a shit school, the students all seemed like absolute faggots

There are definitely plenty of douchebags at UVA, but y'all seem like you would fit right in with them. What was the problem?

[Anonymous No.3768372]

>>3768370

Not either of those people but I've lived in Charlottesville most of my life and "plenty of douchebags" is an understatement.

The only thing worse than the students are the alumni. Thank God they're leaving this week.

[Anonymous No.3768373]

>>3768367
I don't know about the shithole you're from, but here the installment amount is proportional to how much you earn.

[Anonymous No.3768378]

>>3768372

Though to be fair I've known like two really cool UVA students in the 15 years I've lived here and it's a big enough school that there are probably more.

[Anonymous No.3768380]

Why does this whole STEM vs. lib arts thing exist in America (and primarily on the internet)?

[Anonymous No.3768394]

>>3768372
>Not either of those people but I've lived in Charlottesville most of my life

I'm sorry...

>and "plenty of douchebags" is an understatement.

Eh. I'm originally from Richmond and know a good number of people who went to UVA; very few of them are douchey at all. Seems like most of it comes from a few frats.

[Anonymous No.3768396]

>>3768254
>>3768256
>>3768263
Butt blasted Occupy Wallstreeters mad that they can only get shit jobs with their BAs. LOL

[Anonymous No.3768406]

>being employed
>2013

[Anonymous No.3768461]

>>3768406
reported for porn. enjoy your ban and your unemployment

[Anonymous No.3768476]

>>3768225

>tfw lit/phil double major and make more than you only a year after graduating

[Anonymous No.3768487]

>>3768248
I hope this is just your e-peen that needs some stroking. If you'd acht like this IRL, I'd be inclined to think you're a massive twat.

[Anonymous No.3768489]

>>3768461
thanks mate, i will. have a nice weekend.

[Anonymous No.3768531]

>>3768380

Insecure 20 somethings and a really shitty job market.

[Anonymous No.3768704]

>>3768380
it's not really just Murrica, I live in Czech Republic and it exists too, mainly between philosophy and natural sciences/philosophy and engineering majors

[Anonymous No.3768710]

>>3768476
What are you doing?

[Anonymous No.3768726]

>people sending resumes
>not applying through the medium of interpretive dance

Into the trash it goes!

[Anonymous No.3768731]

This is the biggest shit show I have seen on /lit/ in a very long time.

[Anonymous No.3768742]

>>3768489
lol loser

[Anonymous No.3768892]

>>3768225
I studied philosophy and i do 70k lel

[Anonymous No.3768912]

>tfw I make more in a summer internship than 90% of english majors will make at the peak of their career.
>tfw I am also well read and didn't need a fucking professor to tell me what to think about literature.

[Anonymous No.3768918]

>>3768380

Lib arts majors are worthless and Americans hate worthlessness.

[Anonymous No.3768922]

>>3768225

What major? Let me guess, computer science.

[Anonymous No.3768938]

>>3768301

This is so true. I know a girl who is teaching middle school math who was exactly like you are describing. She didn't even have to take CALCULUS and she is teaching algebra to kids. And people wonder why the U.S. does bad in math and science.

[Anonymous No.3768949]

>>3768938
>the U.S. does bad in math and science
>does bad

Does 'bout as bad as you be bad in English, b.

[Anonymous No.3768953]

>>3768912
>Tfw I have a trust fund and I will never have to work in my life.
>Tfw at the end of my life I will still have more money then you ever will without even trying.

[Anonymous No.3768961]

>>3768953
All that money and you still use third-rate, cheap entertainment like 4chan?

Come on, son.

[Anonymous No.3768962]

>implying the purpose of my life is to make money
>implying the purpose of my life is to help a CEO make money

stay pleb STEMfags

[Anonymous No.3768974]

>>3768961
I don't have many friends that read.

[Anonymous No.3768979]

Thank fucking God that I'm studying law, I'm basically in the top-tier of resumes.

[Anonymous No.3768983]

>>3768979

Law is only good if you are smart and charismatic. You will wind up unemployed if you arent.

[Anonymous No.3768986]

>>3768983

LOL

You've never seen a tax lawyer, have you?

We may not be the cutest, most charming, but boy is this shit well paid.

Like a sir.

[railroad No.3769005]

>>3768283
I'm fairly certain that no one could've said that sentence without cracking up halfway through, not even the best lawyer.

[railroad No.3769028]

>>3768326
You're a douche, and your girlfriend looks like a barbie doll that has been out in the sun for too long. What, are your parents John Boehner and the Sun? After you two get married, do us all a favor and don't make babies. Black holes are less empty than your girlfriend's personality. And you think that we're everything bad in the world? I tell you what: your girlfriend, after marrying you, will divorce you after 5 years because she cheated on another man (and she'll take all 5 cents in your bank account), and by the time you're 40, your house will be repossessed, or you'll find yourself lost in life with no friends. Have fun, cunt. Wouldn't that just be "cash"?

[Anonymous No.3769050]

>>3769028
I was about to say how wonderful it was that no one had taken this particular troll seriously. Shame on you.

[Anonymous No.3769057]

>>3769028

>>Being this new

[Anonymous No.3769058]

>>3768962
This.

[railroad No.3769068]

>>3769050
Well, fuck. With no further ado, What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[Anonymous No.3769108]

>reading through resumes...
>pleb tier confirmed...
>that's not how it works in the real world, you know, cupcake...

[Anonymous No.3769124]

>>3768306
i'm all for english majors, but this is borderline navy seals copypasta material... your degree did come in handy, brilliant

[Anonymous No.3769130]

>>3769068
>Al-Quaeda
Every time.

[Anonymous No.3769139]

>tfw LL.B

[Anonymous No.3769143]

>>3768892
philo/ art histoy double major here. tell me how you've done it.

[Anonymous No.3769152]

>>want to be chaplain
>>high of about 46,000 with masters or doctorate
>>mfw

[Anonymous No.3769155]

As a STEM major, my first and second criteria when judging whether or not people are worthy of my time in general, is are they well-read and do they have a more than cursory understanding of Philosophy.

There are a lot of classist assumptions about what the role of university is. Some people have to obtain more marketable degrees so they can live comfortably. Plus, solving hard problems for a living has been pretty fun.

>>3768237
This. Most English majors don't read shit and have terrible taste. It's even worse for Political Science majors.

[Anonymous No.3769156]

>>3768962
>STEM is vastly more intellectually engaging than made up stories will ever be though.

[Anonymous No.3769157]

>anthropology major
>just looking for book recommendations

[Anonymous No.3769161]

>>3768962
STEM is vastly more intellectually engaging than made up stories will ever be though.

[Anonymous No.3769165]

>>3769161
These things aren't mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous No.3769166]

>>3769155
>There are a lot of classist assumptions about what the role of university is. Some people have to obtain more marketable degrees so they can live comfortably.
It's funny how all the English majors on /lit/ claims to be above such wordly concerns when they're likely all upper middle class white kids who've never had to worry about jack shit except their latest existential crisis.

[Anonymous No.3769169]

>>3769165
STEM majors aren't so fucking vain and privileged that they go around bragging about how much they don't care about money though.

[Anonymous No.3769173]

>>3769124
i'll actually put it into my shitpostan file, you'll see it around here again sooner or later.

[Anonymous No.3769175]

>>3769157

I'm taking an anthropology course this semester, and my textbook described something called "reflexive ethnographies", and it sounded like a very interesting thing to write. But I'm entirely ignorant of the field of anthropology.

So, if you can recommend a few of those, I will trade you for lit recommendations. Deal?

[Anonymous No.3769176]

>>3769143
I just moved to ny and I'm at this upper east side restaurant to have an interview for a front of the house position.

The interview went badly, I got the famous "I will call you back", and depressed I decide to sit at the bar and get a negroni.

A lady in her 40s sitting next to me turns around and tells me that it's her favorite drink. Probably because of my accent she asks me where I'm from. I tell her that I'm Italian. She sees the resume in my hand and asks me if I was looking for a job. I say yeah. She offers me another drink and tells me that she works for an advertising company. I talk about my experience in Italy as an art director for a club. She asks me which band we used to call to play there, and she knows them.
She gives me her business card and tells me to call her if I ever feel like getting in advertisement. Then she asks me if I would be so nice to walk with her to lexington and help her get a can, and maybe have another drink at her place.

So now I'm an account manager in an advertising firm.

[Anonymous No.3769182]

>>3769166
That's why we are good at thinking, because we don't have to worry and can dedicate all our energies to that.

[Anonymous No.3769183]

>>3769166

I'm an English major. I was raised by a single mother. My mother makes about 19 thousand dollars a year, just around the federal poverty line. I have an EBT card. I am upper middle class as fuck, huh?

[Anonymous No.3769185]

>>3769183
Well you dun goof'd studying english. Switch your major as soon as you can.

[Anonymous No.3769191]

>>3769185

I was looking for life advice, dude. Who do you think you are?

[Anonymous No.3769192]

>>3769191
A person wiser than you.

[Anonymous No.3769195]

>>3769182
>Good at thinking
>Analyzing (read: projecting your worthless opinions onto) made up stories.

[Anonymous No.3769196]

>>3769192

Hah, alright.

[Anonymous No.3769197]

>>3769191

Wait, that should be wasn't*, fuck's sake.

[Anonymous No.3769198]

>>3769195
Who creates the models used in science?

[Anonymous No.3769201]

>>3769198
English majors, naturally.

[Anonymous No.3769206]

>>3768710

Programmer. I'm not even using my degrees.

[Anonymous No.3769207]

>>3769195
But we are upper-middle class. Even our own existences are not worthless, so much that chances are that we are gonna stay in that class no matter what we studied.

[Anonymous No.3769210]

>>3769207
Reading this sentence gave me cancer. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.3769211]

>>3769207

Are you even a fluent English speaker? The fuck was that post.

[Anonymous No.3769213]

>>3769211
English is my fourth language.

[Anonymous No.3769214]

>english major
>can read and understand texts on any subject
>fast
>read faster so learn any subject faster
>sound more eloquent on paper and in person
>crush any/all interviews, even for jobs outside my major
remind me again why I'd want to be STEM mustard race?

[Anonymous No.3769217]

>>3769213

It fucking shows.

[Anonymous No.3769225]

>>3769217
How about:

Our opinions are far from worthless. As members of upper-middle class not only our opinions are going to be highly considered from the positions of leadership we will inherit, but also our same existence is valued and guaranteed. No matter how little we do, what we study or how much we fuck up, chances are that we are still going to be upper-middle class.

[Anonymous No.3769227]

>>3769214
>Never taken a college English course
>Have a larger vocabulary than anyone I know.

[Anonymous No.3769229]

>>3769227

There's more to communicating well than vocabulary, my illiterate, greentexting friend.

[Anonymous No.3769230]

>>3769225

I don't shit all over your language, can you please stop shitting all over mine?

[Anonymous No.3769233]

>>3769225

[Anonymous No.3769238]

>>3769230
Please correct it then. What mistakes did I make?

[Anonymous No.3769243]

>>3769238

There's more to communicating well than technical mistakes, my autistic, foreign friend.

Also I'm not your goddamn English teacher.

[Anonymous No.3769244]

yo OP i'm an english major at Swarthmore. You like your "public Ivy"? Yeah, well eat my shit, you go to a garbage school compared to mine.

I take mostly English classes, and those classes are 70% female. I've fucked nearly 20 english major girls so far, and they're all hot. I don't give a fuck if you can attract girls with your money, I have charisma and an actual personality that exists outside of my dreamspace. In other words, my education pays off every time I open my mouth to speak.

Oh, and here's another reason why my major's better than you. All that talk about "30 page lab reports" is bullshit. First of all, just give me the info and I can write it in a quarter of the time it takes you, guaranteed. Second, I actually enjoy doing my homework, because all it involves is me reading a book and coming up with ~20 pages worth of shit to say about it every once in a while. Shit's so cash, I don't ever complain.

Being an english major is awesome.

[Anonymous No.3769254]

>>3769243
I feel like you are just bitter for the content. I know for a fact that my English is not as bad as you say.

[Anonymous No.3769257]

>>3769254

It's good enough to ask directions or to buy a beer, but you trying to have a conversation with me about anything meaningful feels disrespectful.

[Anonymous No.3769264]

>>3769244
You sound really mad. I mean, I have to admit I'm jelly -your 20 beats my 0 handily- but you still sound really mad.

Also, Swathmore is way overpriced and Jonathan Franzen went there. Also, if you're a transplant to PA just know I fucking hate you. Damnit now I'm mad.

[Anonymous No.3769267]

>>3769227

>tfw you don't know anyone

[Anonymous No.3769276]

>>3769257
I think it's because the very proper grammar the guy is using. You need to learn to talk to formal people dweeb.

[Anonymous No.3769277]

>>3769244

>they're all hot

[Fandroid !p6ktXMpsfc No.3769281]

Why should I take any of the STEM fields if I don't give a fuck about STEM? Who takes majors and careers just to get loads of dollops instead of actually being interested in it?

[Anonymous No.3769285]

>>3769264
swarthmore does have a very beautiful campus

[Anonymous No.3769288]

>>3769281

If you don't take something in STEM you're going to end up as a homeless homosexual prostitute, don't you know anything about the real world?

[Anonymous No.3769302]

>>3769281
Someone with a brain?

[Anonymous No.3769306]

You're all faggots.

>Creative Writing major coming through, everybody stand back.

I like reading, but what the fuck is the point if your devoting the majority of your education to learning how to read books? At least learn how to make the fucking things.

[Anonymous No.3769310]

>>3769302

No, someone who lacks foresight.

[Anonymous No.3769313]

>>3769306
>but what the fuck is the point if your devoting the majority of your education to learning how to read books?

I like reading books and I want to be good at is.