/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3696693]

In ten lines or less, write the most pretentious poem possible.

[Anonymous No.3696706]

The common man does not know
How to appreciate art
All he does is sit and fart
He thinks beauty is found within porno
He cannot love music unless he can play
His entertainment is trite and bought with small pay
He doesn't even know that he cannot know
That is unless he has read Adorno

Shit poem, I know...at least I tried

[Anonymous No.3696712]

Here you go:

[Anonymous No.3696721]

>>3696706
>How to appreciate art
>All he does is sit and fart

lolololol

>>3696712
10/10 post-modern deconstruction of the concept of poetry and language

[Anonymous No.3696728]

My disregard, you cannot fathom,
your opinion, like some lumpen mathom
your praise an unrequested kickshaw
like a pennant on a rickshaw.
Your chidings no more vex nor rankle
than a pimple on my ankle
in short, your being i eschew
i doubt this thought i need review,
and to your company, adeiu

[Anonymous No.3696738]

Everyone is dumb
except me
all this social bullshit
is an insult to me
I'm the only one who isn't phony
listen to my teenage poetry

[Anonymous No.3696744]

>>3696693
my bones and skin
are porcelain
waiting for your touch
to make me melt
I wait for you in the bedroom
you wait for me in the street
I have dirty feet
and messy hair
I love you
and you don't care.

[Anonymous No.3696745]

>>3696712

Well played, sir.

[Anonymous No.3696748]

>>3696693

Richard Dawkins is my hero
Metaphysicians fiddle while the world burns
They are just like Nero
The only alter I worship at it that of empiricism
I bet you have been mutilated by that barbaric ritual, circumcision
That is all, I don't want to bore ya
I am off to buy a new fedora

[Anonymous No.3696749]

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

[Anonymous No.3696786]

I only like men who ride a fixie
my hair is cut like a pixie
I listen to bands that none know about
I don't eat meat, not even trout
I have tattoos all over my body
I you aren't orginal, like me, then your taste is shoddy

[Anonymous No.3696789]

Wow. Who is she?

[Anonymous No.3696794]

I'll do an outline and someone with more flair can fill it in.

>Title presenting a male character pondering something, ex. Der Wanderer über dem Nebelmeer, or He Remembers Forgotten Beauty.
>Opening line in greek, cursive writing.
>Poem goes AABCDCB
>First and second line is an aesthetically pleasing image, purposely presented as a request
>Third line in French
>Fourth line is a reference to Ovid, but not directly to Ovid but actually the William Caxton translation, obviously.
>Fifth line is scrambled words that are actually an anagram for Christi crux est mea lux
>Sixth line is a reference to the greek opening
>Seventh line in french again.

>In the room where women come and go
>Talking of Michaelangelo

[Anonymous No.3696793]

A sesquipedalian gent i won't name
led a niave young lady to shame
his command of his vowels
did not extend to his bowels
and she found that he went as he came.

[Anonymous No.3696797]

Here the crimson sea flows chilled
and washes sand and stone with dread;
the veins have broken here and filled
with waves of blood and seas of red
a chasm grand of bone and sinew,
dead where once was breath and sight,
laid robbed of all but maggot-tissue,
festering islands in rotten light.

[Anonymous No.3696812]

>>3696786
>>3696789

[Anonymous No.3696825]

Kids don't know about my dick.
I'm walking in the park, suffering form my melancholia condition.
HAZZA! HAZZA! HAZZA! HAZZA!
Stroking my prick my prick in the park!
I have a condition!
A melancholia condition HAZZA!
Hey there baby. hey there baby! Would you like to jump up up on my fat, fat prick!?
HAZZA HAZZA HEY THEY'RE BABY! DO YOU WANT TO JUMP ON MY DICK!?
Kids don't know about my prick.
Kids don't know about my prickly pickle dick.

[Anonymous No.3696832]

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets and listening to the Terror through the wall,
who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York,

[Anonymous No.3696835]

>>3696793
nice one.

[Anonymous No.3696844]

This isn't pretentious, but it is pretty terrible, although it's included in the best of alt-lit collections

[Anonymous No.3696898]

Coney Island I'm not Ukranian, Greenpoint and I'm first generation Iranian, Williamsburg re-enactment Virginia, without condom in your condo shoes on, up in there. I'm white, I'm white, I'm the true white brother. I'm white I'm white, caucasoid chech- ural mountains privledge motherfucka
Pressure cook the pressure drop under pressure there's goes ours goes, see, it's that little "tsk" that makes the difference.
I got raped on SVU.

[Anonymous No.3696948]

>>3696832
That was... beautiful

[Anonymous No.3696951]

>>3696832

I can't believe people think lowly of Ginsberg. He did have 'it'.

[Anonymous No.3696955]

>>3696844
oh god fuck you for reminding me of that

[Anonymous No.3696957]

In a time of swag where yolo in shame,
An ignominious Bieber has arise to fame,
Making the preteen daughters hard to tame.

One Direction, some faggots with a nickname,
Call them cunts or queers, it's really the same,
Have been killing music until some nigga came.
He said :" Nigga, I lov dem galz with nigga tits daayyym",
Yep. If I kill some black ass motherfucker, this shitface is to blame.

[Anonymous No.3697014]

they don't know what it's
like to be me
i don't really
want to be me
because they don't understand
what it's like
to be free like me
when there is no one around to see
the beauty firsthand
i'm the only musician in my band.

[Anonymous No.3697024]

>>3696832
winner

ginsberg is awful. christ

[Anonymous No.3697031]

>>3696748
This is outstanding

[Anonymous No.3697033]

>>3697024

[Anonymous No.3697041]

>>3697033
>infantile reaction image

[Anonymous No.3697061]

A soul born to the wrong generation
stuck experiencing the shallow and crass,
Sharing the pitiful collective gestation
one individual against the mass.
I dream I'm sitting in a bar far away
in a time where pretentiousness wasn't a label;
Kerouac, Kafka, Hemingway
and even Camus would accept me at their table.

[Anonymous No.3697064]

>>3696832

[Anonymous No.3697065]

>>3697064
that's better

[Anonymous No.3697072]

>>3696832
I love that poem

>who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism and subsequently presented themselves on the granite steps of the madhouse with shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy

[Anonymous No.3697073]

Mrs Pierce (AKA - Mrs Bitch)
gave me back my ~poems for class
and gave me a C-
just like Einstein.
Mrs Bitch said I understand neither form
or rhyme.
Does she think fucking Yeats rhymed?

Well, here Mrs Bitch
here's your fucking rhyme
imagine being a 21st Century Byron
squandered by the cretins of his time.

[Anonymous No.3697111]

>>3697072

It is funny at times but I think it masks profound sadness and frustration with sexuality, insanity, drug abuse, and Molach.

[Anonymous No.3697113]

>>3697073

My favorite so far. Good job.

[anders !GAGA0TAaN. No.3697116]

>>3697073
I enjoy this

[Anonymous No.3697143]

My penis is claustrophobic
When it's in, it's out
My testicles just sit there and shout
"Don't beat us no more" they cry
"Produce sperms for me to shoot" I reply
My beard is getting bigger
The weather is getting hotter
I might look weird,but mommy can't be prouder

[Anonymous No.3697182]

>>3697073
breddi gud, would delve into again

[Anonymous No.3697199]

Walking these damp city
streets
Cigarette in hand
Word in mind.

Brittle bones and
scattered thoughts
make me- impossible.

So alone, isolated
from the one I
love.

[Anonymous No.3698650]

I scream at existence
it answers with silence

[Anonymous No.3698678]

kharoibarfiwaunf
ahrbfeuirfwbubfuw
iweufiuefi2fwiuefniwef
ewjkfwnefwwwkfkw
j7j7j7j7j7j7j7j7j7j7j7j7~

Obviously this poem cannot be appreciated only as a written text; it must be read aloud for the true fluidity of the words to come to life.

[Anonymous No.3698689]

An ending fitting for the start
you twist and tore our love apart
your light fingers through the dark
shattered the lamp into darkness cast us
No, you've got it the wrong way round
you shut me up and blamed it on the brown
cornered this boy kicked out at the world
the world kicks back
a lot fucking harder

[Anonymous No.3699125]

My IQ is 140
while yours
is uh...40.
You think this poem's bad
but I'm so good only I can see it
in all it's greatness.
Where's my award?

[Anonymous No.3699138]

godless
my life is sustained
only by my pure intellegence
no one else effects me
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAA
AAH
A
My brain is my best friend and greatest weapon
it has taken years to ferment

[Anonymous No.3699141]

The pain in love is often a complicated convoluted state. Escape is usually not possible.

It needs to be dealt with as an amputation, see, as I have done.

I needed more time, we needed more time
me and the girl, and poetry, reverence, the prostitution

I write honestly and exactly. Somebody help me
God, send someone to help me.

[Anonymous No.3699152]

A dream about the thing itself and I was most certainly wrong

A non feeling person when he feels, thinks, oh my god,
that's it
that's that real shit

cover me with armour of ignorance
let me ram against the phalanx of hidden hearts
let me, free me, hold me, make me guilty

[Anonymous No.3699155]

>>3699141
>>3699152

these two were written by me and they are the best of the bunch in this thread, if I do say so myself

[Anonymous No.3699167]

Floating
I am a mere spec in this vast universe
and yet the only one aware
of the petulance of existence
surrounded by specs
consumed by themselves
awaiting to be consumed
materialism

[Anonymous No.3699164]

>>3699155
No, mine is better. You just don't want to admit it because you're not hardcore scholar like me. I read ALL of the Junie B Jones and Goosebumps books by the time I graduated the 5 grade with an associate's degree in proctology. You can't handle the ass like I can.
>>3699125

[Anonymous No.3699178]

I love poetry as it were a person, a woman
And she never calls me
She used to love me, doesn't anymore

And it wasn't my fault, none of anything was my fault.

She is so lovely, her voice, everything about her, and I just sit here and think about her and I am only a creep.

Radiohead

[Anonymous No.3699187]

You know that feeling when
She loves you back? When, she loves you too?
When you get something expensive for free?
And you think its yours forever
And forever will be yours in due time

But then everything goes wrong?
It was all wrong in the first place?
Do you even know that feel?

[Anonymous No.3699193]

I am trying to be pretentious, as per requested,
But so real am I, so pure my soul,
how can I pretend, when I?
I,
I just am,
You know?
Its like poetry

[Anonymous No.3699198]

And then you love a girl like you love poetry
Then it all goes to shit from there

Is that what it is to be a poet
Or a faggot?

How can I be a faggot
When I love a girl?

[Anonymous No.3699205]

Or is this just some mix up of feeling and thoughts
A fixable situation, a rearrangeable configuration of things

I must be calling some things by their wrong names
That must be causing the confusion

I probably am not even in love
And don't even love poetry,
Don't know poetry,

What if I say like
instead of love? What indeed

[Anonymous No.3699221]

The giant postmodern bull
of relativitic china
has penetrated our ego
with the dialectical matriarch
and we god now muthafucka

[Anonymous No.3699228]

I can only post on this poetry thread, not the other one(drunk/high one) because only here I can pretend like I'm pretending.
I don't know
This is the superior poetry thread, that much is quite clear

[Anonymous No.3699231]

>>3699228

And the three minute one just plain sucks.

[Anonymous No.3699263]

>>3699231
Why do we have three active poetry threads anyways?
Is it the same people in each of them?
Have we been facing an influx of DIY poetry threads lately?
Is it ApPoWrMo or something?
Are we gonna hit "peak poetry"?
Should we program a bot to repost these randomly on other boards?
Has anything good been written by anyone in any of them?
Is this post itself a poem?

[Anonymous No.3699309]

>>3696748
Metaphysics,
The rendition of my position is my exhibition,
Alas, none among me see the decadence,
of my reticence,
Votre formulaire pleurnicher dessous de moi,
Like a prostrate insect begging for a trituration,
Despair creeps
As I know the sand
Cannot fathom my omniscience.

[Anonymous No.3699311]

Sisyphean cymbalta masturbation
literatic chimeras of gravity jejune
and terror across the foreground
for no one not yet, but yet
but Bahai children striking on
together back

[Anonymous No.3699315]

>>3696793

[Anonymous No.3699329]

>>3699309
didn't mean to quote

[Anonymous No.3699626]

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.

Bonus points for knowing who had the nerve to publish this monstrosity.

[Anonymous No.3699631]

in this moment
i am euphoric
Not
because
of any phony god's blessing
But
because
i am enlightened
by my intelligence.

[Anonymous No.3699634]

>>3698689
>cornered this boy kicked out at the world
>the world kicks back
>a lot fucking harder

I like this.

[Anonymous No.3699635]

>>3699631
Everytime I see that picture I spot something new. Did you notice the Sonic the Hedgehog shirt he's wearing?

You will next time.

[Anonymous No.3699643]

>>3699635
last time i noticed it i found the depth in field

[Nicolas Cage !!4L3ydrPrJqa No.3699657]

>>3696693
You'll fucking make
Some reddish kid's
Nice mother fix
Him with a two
By three by five
Size mason's brick,
If you keep on
With this schoolboy's
Dirty-ass Game,
Dirty Planet.

[Anonymous No.3699677]

>>3699634
>>3698689

Can' Stand Me Now - the Libertines

[Anonymous No.3699739]

>>3699631
in this moment
i am euphoric
Not
because
of any phony meaning
But
because
i am enlightened
by my rock.

[Anonymous No.3699747]

I acknowledge some amateurs
like my wordings.
I would even say some amateurs
worship my writings
So, my friend, don't hesitate
for advice
for guidance
Just bow down, don't hate.

[Anonymous No.3699757]

Devolving into involuntary madness,
the madman sits and waits for his key;
His precious bundle of philosophy.
Without it he is nothing;
Man-made monkey, monkey-made man.
So he dances, he smiles with glee
Once he receives his beloved philosophy
And stands above others, dancing over thin air
While everyone else just doesn't care.

[Anonymous No.3699769]

>>3699757
Well, I wasn't thinking at all when I wrote this, but upon examining it I guess it could be a critique of philosophy or something. See, you can make meaning out of meaninglessness pretty easily. So I think that's pretty pretentious.

[Anonymous No.3699780]

>>3699757
>>3699769
I actually liked that.

[Anonymous No.3699808]