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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 817 KB, 676x588, The LGH Part 1 The Rise of the Plains.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691038 No.3691038 [Reply] [Original]

>self publishing

>> No.3691040

wow that is a really snappy excerpt i bet it will sell millions!

>> No.3691044

oh lol I'm dying

just read the highlighted parts

>> No.3691047

Diary of an at-risk teenager.

>> No.3691046

>>3691044
Wow, what a juvenile piece of crap. Was it written by a 14 year old girl?

>> No.3691050
File: 136 KB, 456x337, 1366142473334.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691050

Is he going to work with the samurai sword at the Japanese secret service?

>> No.3691051

>>3691046
Didn't mean to respond to>>3691044

>> No.3691054

>>3691044
there are some great non-highlighted parts as well

>The man was found dead by firemen at 7am. There was an investigation of course, but every clue led to the man himself.

He gouged out his own eyes with a chef's knife and then lit his house on fire. That's some suicide.

>> No.3691067

>>3691050
No, he's going to use a Scottish claymore at the Japanese Secret Service.

Also, I think he is a she.

>> No.3691074

>>3691054
>That's some suicide.
I'll say.

But really, this guy must have completely covered his tracks, otherwise the police would have gotten wise.

>> No.3691076

What is this, some kids self-insert fanfic?

>> No.3691078
File: 24 KB, 289x400, Gaddafi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691078

>>3691067
What is the purpose to talk about the samurai sword if you ain't gonna slice with it.

>> No.3691079

>set his house on fire, an accident?

I love the "an accident?" part.

>> No.3691093

>>3691078
>he sliced him with the samurai sword and he cut his head off with the samurai sword. He released him from his legs with his samurai sword and cut his finger to make soup with his samurai sword.

>> No.3691094

>>3691076
>This book is based on a fantasy where the volcanoes that have been a part of the earth for millenia, are sick of humans interferring with their natural homes and the volcanoes get their revenge on the humans.

>> No.3691104

>>3691038
This is why you should let 12 year olds watch Dexter and Kill Bill.

>> No.3691113

>>3691104
It's also why they shouldn't have anything but severely regulated Internet connections.

>> No.3691117

If Anime Was Real: A Novel

>> No.3691121

It's better than this at least:
http://benedictsmith.tumblr.com/post/48623637959/little-death-by-benedict-smith-nsfw

>> No.3691128

This is what happens when kids watch too much shounen anime on American television. There's some kid in my college CW class who wrote some godawful story about a group of kids with super powers. Every kid was a Gary Stu and the main character had a love interest which he spent two paragraphs describing. They even used their telekinetic powers to build themselves a base of operations after they kicked some guys asses in a embarrassingly written fight scene.

>> No.3691144

>>3691128
Honestly, I don't see the problem with OP's picture if it was written by a kid. Juvenile crap like that is to be expected children, after all. However, if you're still writing like that as an adult, it's probably a problem with the person, rather than their chosen form of entertainment.

>> No.3691151

>>3691144
Some people don't develop self-awareness until later in life. Ironically enough, the Japanese term 'chuunibyou' which translates roughly to 'eighth grade/adolescent syndrome' is the term coined for this phenomena. It describes him perfectly and he doesn't even know it.

>> No.3691162

>>3691144
My guess is whoever wrote that is at least old enough to remember cassette tapes.

>> No.3691168

>>3691121
nooooo whyyyyy do people fucking like this 2edgy4u bullshit. That was such a horrible piece of prose I want to die now

>> No.3691171

>>3691168
>thunderbumpingwonderwaffle reblogged this from i-think-we-should-sex and added:
>That’s some damn good writing. Can’t wait for more.
Oh, tumblr, humanity is doomed.

>> No.3691176

>>3691171
No more doomed than it has been for the last few thousand years. It's just on display to a greater extent now and every day it's becoming harder to ignore the plebs.

>> No.3691177

>>3691121

Now that's cringeworthy.

>> No.3691186

>>3691151
Yeah, except people usually grow out of it by the time they're in high school. Hence the "eighth grade" portion. Sometimes it persists later in life, though. I'm not sure quite why, so I'm just going to blame it on the Internet and nutjobs finding likeminded people so they don't realize how fucking retarded they're all being.

>> No.3691195

>>3691121
I don't think it is that bad. Better than what's in OP's pic at least. You know, not eight-grade-like.

>> No.3691198

>>3691177
>What do I do? Oh I'm actually a writer. Yeah I write realistic fiction with a lot of grit. If you want I'll take to my house and show you my manuscripts. Don't wear complicated clothing.

>> No.3691200
File: 53 KB, 533x431, benedictsmith.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691200

>>3691198
Forgot the picture that was supposed to go with it. My life is in shambles.

>> No.3691206

>>3691121
could be worse

>> No.3691215

He's the new Brayden Summerfield.

>> No.3691227
File: 30 KB, 564x520, all white people look like this.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691227

>>3691038
>rolled underneath a car and hung on

>> No.3691230

>>3691227
Do you even lift? This is how I get around town.

>> No.3691235
File: 19 KB, 500x449, moe#.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691235

>>3691121
> thunderbumpingwonderwaffle reblogged this from i-think-we-should-sex and added:
>That’s some damn good writing. Can’t wait for more.
>That's some damn good writing.

>> No.3691265

>>3691235
I hope I can write something as good as this one day.

>> No.3691405

>>3691128
do you have a copy you'd like to share?

>> No.3691422

>>3691121
>I had a dream I went to McDonalds and ordered an inferiority complex with a side of fries.

I want to like it.

>> No.3691442

>>3691038
>This was the scariest moment of my life so far
>but I would see scarier in the future

Dat foreshadowing. damn...

>> No.3691455

>>3691422

It's weird but I know what you mean. But as the first line? Fuck no. Fuck. No. I need to understand that the author isn't an edgy bullshitter before he can drop something like that.

>> No.3691463

>>3691455
The line itself is good but was poorly executed

>> No.3691474

>>3691128
>This is what happens when autistic kids watch too much shounen anime

ftfy

>> No.3691487

>>3691405
Unfortunately, no.

>> No.3691490

>>3691463
It's too overdone and I'm pretty sure he copied it from a Subway commercial like 5 years ago.

>> No.3691588
File: 277 KB, 1366x768, Untitled.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691588

>>3691038
someone should buy this book, it's like $2 and it would make the kid ecstatic.

>> No.3691611

>>3691121

Oh wow, I felt my teeth grinding as I read that first paragraph. My eyes are bleeding from too much edgy.

>> No.3691628

>>3691611
To be fair, the first line is probably the worst in this one. I understand that you guys must hate this because of 3edgy5me by if think of this as the heartbreaking story of a man that can't even respect himself anymore, it's not so poorly done. I feel pity for the guys and close to him at the same time. He seems to be dealing with some serious problem (if nothing more, the fact that he sucks as a person which is quite a hurdle in life). The extract in OP's pic is some childish self-comforting fantasy that have no redeeming qualities.

>> No.3691662
File: 19 KB, 489x493, Heath Ledger is dead.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691662

>>3691588
>The second assassin came into my home and tried to shoot me. Silly woman! She didn't have any martial arts skills and I broke her neck

>> No.3691726
File: 32 KB, 250x272, Think about what you have posted.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691726

>>3691121
>Inferiority complex with a side of fries
My eyes have been severely cut now. Thank you, for that edgy piece of work

>> No.3691749

Considering how a person thought and written all this nonsense, one cun't help but be sad.

>> No.3691755
File: 50 KB, 225x300, bronn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691755

>>3691038

>> No.3691789

>>3691121
"...an inferiority complex with a side of fries"

"Felt good to choke someone while the world choked you"

"I had died a thousand of these little deaths."

It could have been much worse, but there were moments when I wanted to chuck my laptop.

>> No.3691801
File: 317 KB, 1563x1339, yurope .png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691801

sometimes its better to self publish something that most new york publicists won't read the second sentence of

>> No.3691825

>>3691801
>indent & spacing issues
>wall of text issues

These are little things that make a publisher cringe

>> No.3691872
File: 3 KB, 258x155, 1366823620695.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691872

>>3691801

>two different people speaking in the same paragraph

>> No.3691878

>>3691872
>I think everything needs to be written like a 400 page, 30,000 word book like my mom reads

>> No.3691888

>>3691878
No. Dialogue requires a next paragraph despite how clear it is said (he said, she said.)

Multiple dialogues in a paragraph should be done with taste, not in excess.

>> No.3691912

>>3691801
this has got a lot of grammar issues

>"Almost had to rough you up." The old man said...
>"...might feel good." He said while...
>etc, etc

>> No.3691934

>>3691888
I pretty much always follow that rule too but... have you actually read anything that isn't from the past two centuries? Tons of great works didn't have any good formatting for dialogue.

>> No.3691941

>>3691934
I guess you can pull some examples (can you?)

>> No.3691951
File: 321 KB, 737x1209, stupid_anon_stupid!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3691951

>>3691888

>> No.3691961

>>3691951
Havent read. But thanks.

>> No.3691965

>>3691951
What the hell!? are those BLACK PEOPLE on the cover??? Thanks but no thanks!!!

>> No.3691966

>>3691941

Kafka did this, but it's still fucking annoying.

>> No.3691976

>>3691966
I thought Kafka did it well. I never felt that it disrupted the flow, but rather enhanced it. Having to start a new paragraph for each piece of dialogue would have been unnecessary and unpleasant.

>> No.3692292

>>3691941
José Saramago.

>> No.3692797

>>3691168
I agree with the sentiment, but Jesus Christ. If I hear the fucking word edgy one more time to describe something I'm going to flip my shit. If you're smart enough to recognise terrible prose, you're smart enough find a better adjective than that stupid retort. Otherwise you're just as bad as the faggot who poured that rambling piece composed of dribbled shit plops into his blog for the world to step in whilst on their daily internet constitution.