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/lit/ - Literature

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3630672 No.3630672 [Reply] [Original]

Anyone care to critique this:
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I want to get a billion salted peanuts with the shells still on. I then want to make extremely small papercuts all over my body, numbering in the thousands, even on my dick in the hole. I then want to fill a huge quarry with these peanuts and swim to the very bottom, unshelling the peanuts with my ass cheeks as I go along and repeating this over and over for days until all the peanuts are shelled, I would not be allowed to stop for bathroom breaks so by the time I was through there would be piss and shit and blood all over the peanuts and I would be hard as a motherfucking rock from the excruciating pain inflicted by all the salty peanuts and shell residue inside of my cuts. I would then shove each peanut in my anus until it could not hold anymore and would then proceed to eat the peanuts until my stomach could not hold anymore and shove them in my ears and nostrils etc til I was totally full of peanuts. I would put the left over peanuts in a basket and attatch it to a blimp. I would fly this blimp over the Superbowl on Superbowl Sunday and be jerking off the whole time til I get there. I would cum with the force of a thousand suns, detonating the blimp over the bowl and causing shitty pissy cum blood peanuts to rain down from my ass ears nose and from within the blimp. I forgot to mention that I would fly to the Bowl from China so in the time between China and the Bowl I would be taking more shits and pisses on the nuts as would the several Chinamen I had to hire to help me guide the blimp to the bowl. Then I would fall from the sky and die on the field but just before i fluttered away covered in peanuts blood cum shit and piss my dad, who I had bought Superbowl tickets for specifically to see this would give me a thumbs up and say, "You're alright for a nutjob"

>> No.3630678

How's the new novel coming along, Chuck?

>> No.3630682

The pun ruined it.

>> No.3630688

>>3630678
i lmaod

>> No.3631330
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3631330

>>3630678
>DURR DURR CHUCK PALAHNIUK SUCKS DURR HURRR FLURRRP DURP

Fucking /lit/ bandwagon and hivemind shit

>> No.3631336

>>3630682
>the pun ruined it
>the pun
>ruined
...