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/lit/ - Literature

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Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:04:18 2013 No.3514042 [DELETED]

[Reply] [Original]

/lit/, what's the best way to impress my way into the pants of some empty-headed hipster chick?

I'm going to be going to college soon, and I wanted to know what kind of stuff I should acquaint myself with so I can appear to be broody and intellectual. Preferably something to quote, or to (un)tastefully reference in conversation; something that'd make a charmingly over-educated qt pi think "Wow, he's so progressive and iconoclastic!" and form of completely equal sexual partnership with me against the 'patriarchy.'

Pic related: the target in question.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:06:19 2013 No.3514044 Yes hipster girls are a challenge, perhaps you should just die.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:07:19 2013 No.3514045 That hat and the dumb thing she's doing with the scarf seriously annoy me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:07:19 2013 No.3514047 File: 118 KB, 579x527, Plebian.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >2013 >Asking the neckbeardiest of boards for dating advice

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:07:19 2013 No.3514046 Quote Foucault, Zizek, Camus, and Sartre while gripping a copy of Infinite Jest.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:08:18 2013 No.3514054 >>3514046 This guy's got it

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:08:19 2013 No.3514050 spontaneity

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:08:19 2013 No.3514051 >>3514042 A discourse on how women cannot be raped as they're not human. Reference de Sade, Foucault, Lacan and Žižek.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:10:18 2013 No.3514056 >>3514054 Stress Foucault.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:10:18 2013 No.3514058 just be cool

Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:12:18 2013 No.3514064

>>3514056
CONFIRMED FOR FOUCAULT THRED. THIS THREAD IS NOW ABOUT USING FOUCAULT TO PICK UP BITCHES.

I suggest you just inflect the dominant episteme on her through a kind of carnal biopolitical discipline. If caught, call it a Žižekian critical analysis of date rape.

>>	OP !BsujP82EOM Wed Feb 27 23:12:18 2013 No.3514065 >>3514046 Alright, noted. I'll go look up some quotes by them on Goodreads. Also: what do you guys think about Derrida? Something tells me that if I 'deconstructed' the patriarchy I'd be a shoe-in. Womyn love deconstructed cultural norms, right?

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:14:19 2013 No.3514069 >>3514065 Actually bitches are just looking for a strong root of negative one, in the form of a prissy little man in uniform who commands America as one folk, one state, under one leader.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:17:18 2013 No.3514080 >>3514065 yeah, look up Phallogocentrism, sprinkle it in sentences which criticize anything remotely male centered and say it is Derridean deconstructive critique of patriarchy

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:20:18 2013 No.3514089 >>3514080 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGpQ4O0poB0

OP !BsujP82EOM Wed Feb 27 23:20:18 2013 No.3514087

>>3514069
>for a strong root of negative one

Oh I know this one! That's the mathematical equation for penis, as given by Lacan in his hermeneutic study of signifiers in the linguistic-construct of mathematics.

*Note: how many other ten dollar words could I have thrown into the above sentence? I feel like "dialectic" could have been shoehorned in somewhere, but I can't tell.

Sage because I've accepted the fact that I've made a shitty thread.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:22:18 2013 No.3514100 >>3514087 Yet you're unable to recognise people telling you to rape her? Seems like you need to go down to the ten dollar word store and spend a monkey.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:22:19 2013 No.3514097 File: 1.06 MB, 300x168, 1361037492405.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3514089

Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:25:18 2013 No.3514110
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Straight Schopenhauer OP. Lead with the line 'Life is a disaster' and proceed to speak the cold truth about the weaker sex.

Those hipster bitches won't know whether to slap you or blow you

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:27:18 2013 No.3514118 >>3514110 If you slap them first, they'll blow you. Women seek out strong men to brutalise them.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:27:18 2013 No.3514121 File: 11 KB, 464x313, 1343700322595.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] You people make me physically ill.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:29:18 2013 No.3514132 >>3514110 No, the Shoppy approach is to meekly offer them grapes.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:32:18 2013 No.3514144 >>3514132 That girl was 17, so maybe he thought being straightforward was a bad idea

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:34:19 2013 No.3514148 >>3514042 Be white. Be skinny. Be hairless. Be effeminate. Consider not washing regularly. Presto.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:35:19 2013 No.3514150 >>3514064 gold

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:36:19 2013 No.3514157 >>3514148 Also it doesn't hurt to act like an aspie. But seriously, above all else, you need to be white.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:38:18 2013 No.3514163 Be confident, ask for numbers, get them to talk about themselves. Learn the names of some critically acclaimed authors, poets, artists and musicians so you have something to add to the conversation. Generally you need to have a personality.

Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:38:18 2013 No.3514165

>>3514118
Along these lines, you can act uncultured and agressive but act interested when she tells you how womyn have rights too. Slowly over a course of weeks start changing your opinion. Then ask to meet her alone and tell her how you realize how men were evil tyrants and what could you do to make it up and how you now feel ashamed and vulnerable and need her guidance. Then bend her over and pork her. Pound her into submission until she feels millions of years of primal desire and aggression.

Then walk away and never call back.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:39:18 2013 No.3514166 >>3514110 I went for the Cold Schopenhauer approach once and got a cold shoulder in return also, >>3514042 >implying that is the chick in question >implying you know someone that internet famous

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:48:34 2013 No.3514196 >>3514042 More pics of girls dressed like this? I like it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:49:34 2013 No.3514199 god, you people are so weird

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:49:34 2013 No.3514200 >>3514121 ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

>>	idf motherfuckers Wed Feb 27 23:51:18 2013 No.3514204 >>3514042 read some actually interesting stuff so that it helps you anyway. Wittgenstein, Engels (also has stuff on feminism), Marx, Zizek. But disregard postmodernism (inb4 postmodernism)

>>	Anonymous Wed Feb 27 23:57:18 2013 No.3514217 >>3514204 >Engels Family, Private Property and the State is "out" with bourgeois hipster feminists these days.

>>	idf motherfuckers Wed Feb 27 23:59:19 2013 No.3514220 >>3514217 well, I am sory to hear that

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:00:19 2013 No.3514222 >>3514220 Yeah, identity politics is in. ps: "check" her "privilege"

boris Thu Feb 28 00:03:19 2013 No.3514226

>>3514042
wear a velvet underground or catcher rye shirt

always be ironic in conversation

be as apathetic to all views as possible

if you end up fucking her, always be submissive and let her do all the work, this way she will respect you and in the long run, you will gain her trust.

then once you have gained her trust, mentally abuse until you break her. thus starts the physical abuse, then comes the reward.

she will never want to leave your side for fear of rejection from others and an overall sense of distrust of others. knock her up, have some kids and then kill her when you have worn her out sexually.

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:05:18 2013 No.3514229 One time i got a hipster girl to fuck me because i listened to Dead Boys and Zounds. Try that.

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:06:18 2013 No.3514231 >>3514226 >You don't eat a great pig like that all at once.

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:08:19 2013 No.3514234 >>3514231 but a pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute

Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:16:18 2013 No.3514243

How empty headed are we talking? Just say names like "KAFKA." Or "POSTMODERNIST" with random words after it.

The caps imply you should yell them directly at her face. They really respond well to that.

If that doesn't work I'd say chloroform her enormous scarf.

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:20:18 2013 No.3514255 >>3514243 why fuck what you can set on fire?

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:38:19 2013 No.3514271 >>3514226 >and then kill her when you have worn her out sexually. ...

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:42:19 2013 No.3514277 >>3514271 You propose killing her before you've worn her out? Isn't that a bit wasteful?

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 00:46:18 2013 No.3514285 Learn from the master. Go on YouTube and listen to Papa Zizek talk about Lacan.

Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:12:19 2013 No.3514325

Be an attractive individual. If you're not actually interesting, she won't find you interesting. If you're not actually cool, she won't find you cool. So just give up. Being unpretentious, unassuming, and genuine works better than most men on 4chan think.

But as I write this, I realize that some people are really unattractive, and have a shit personality, and are naturally chauvinist pigs. In that case, fake it until you make it I guess.

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:19:19 2013 No.3514338 >>3514165 Best idea of this thread

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:22:18 2013 No.3514347 I'm new to this board and this is the first thread I saw. Fucking dammnit

Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:27:19 2013 No.3514359
File: 42 KB, 350x466, 450889475_dfbd36eb95_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

make sure you have the facial bone structure of a model. make sure you are "cool". if you dont have either of those things then forget about it.

once you have entered into a relationship with her, realize that she perceives you as a fashion accessory. as you emotionlessly use her body enjoy single out another hipster girl with which to continue the cycle
I'm a troll

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:32:18 2013 No.3514371 >>3514359 Is that the same girl from the beginning of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlTjp7AP7ec

>>	Anonymous Thu Feb 28 01:32:18 2013 No.3514372 it's not what you're reading. it's what you're wearing and pretending to read.

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