/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3504497]

Hey /llit/, this is only like my second or third time on here, and my first time posting. I was wondering if we have any poets on here tonight. Let's have a thread where all us poets come in here and share our works and have them critiqued. Preferably free-verse/spoken word, but anything goes. Pic related, my favorite poet.

[Anonymous No.3504510]

Shameless self-bump. If ya'll wish, I can post one of my works in the meantime.

[Anonymous No.3504527]

Baal
a ghoul
holds an awl
and outside
the owls
hoot away

the awl's pressure
in wood rests
firm and all's well
that ends oil
in the bottom of the well

sawdust churns onto the floor
an unexpected verb
some rust, a savage sharpening
of stakes
taken to
you
know
who

crickets chirp
outside a rickety
chair, rocking,
blown by the wind

taken too far
cradle endlessly shaken
in a room overlooking
a lawn

a glass of water waits

and before the awns
are withdrawn on mainstreet
ripples slightly undu
late to the party

hold on
to your pants
kids.

we're going
to have
a crucifiction.

[Anonymous No.3504556]

>>3504527
Not bad, not bad. I enjoy the vivid images you put forth. Cool use of that sort of odd-meter, off kilter rhyming technique. I'm a sucker for that haha.

[Anonymous No.3504571]

>>3504556

Thank you kind sir. I thank you for your kindness.

[Anonymous No.3504575]

>>3504571
May i ask, is it about the crucifiction of Christ, or is it just a metaphor?

[Anonymous No.3506125]

>>3504575

It's about the second coming. The idea is anything wholly good in the world inevitably gets shit on (crucified). It's a valorization of supposedly minor things. Not pontious pilate's decision, not the Jews decision, but that anonymous guy who made the cross on which the second coming of Christ will be crucified. Perhaps it has already come and gone.

[Anonymous No.3506457]

>>3504527
Baal is pronounced "bail" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_(demon)

It doesn't rhyme with awl if that's what you were going for.

[Anonymous No.3506770]

>preferably free verse and spoken word
Wtf

[Anonymous No.3506824]

Wrote this today, title in subject line.

Who notices what tangents
gently tan their road, raw

cement hiding icy note, stripping
off its varnished varmint coat? Fur

cool’s side, mink-mint varied, tints ahead
way, see-meant center rode
flipped, entrapped, departed in

dependency: the pen, dense,
seen parted by the tendency

to tend-den, maintaining
packed chill mainly tainting

cull-de-sacked (tend-onwards
another scalp faced,
frozen claims, lines
torn inside, snotty red past cons-trained)

ends.

[Anonymous No.3506837]

>>3506824
This is just words thrown together isn't it?

[Anonymous No.3506847]

>>3506837

wtf sort of question is this? if thats what it comes off to you that's good i guess

what do you think about the piece? is it ass? do you like it? do you see any room for improvement in some fashion?

[Anonymous No.3506858]

bitch
bite this cock
chomp, the canines go
tender, passionfilled, consciously
the fusion of pain and pleasure
reward and combat
bite on this dick

bitch
what happened
where did we go wrong
your bitchitude was no match for my preventative bitch measures
it seems this impasse
is beyond the likes of me
so its probably your fault

[Anonymous No.3506877]

>>3504527

>>3506824 here. on first reading that "ripples slightly undu/late to the party" line is HARD. i loved that shit. that's the type of stuff I really enjoy reading in a poem

sharpening of stakes is a nice play too, both in that sharpening of stakes as wood and stakes as the stake of mankinds fate

will keep reading

[Anonymous No.3506946]

shit
i was going to shitpost a shitpoem
but there was 2 much swag in it
excess must be curbed
or concentrated, into manageable forms
controlled finesse, delicate silk

i have too many bitches
one two three four five six seven
literally eight nine ten eleven twelve
fourteen fifteen eighteen twenty one
i know my swag has too much swag
its own aphroswagiac
but pls, let me breathe, let me breathe

[Anonymous No.3506998]

i ate two sausage biscuits this morning
one of them was chicken
so delicious, scrumptious in fact
buttery and biologically congruent
meat, lots of proteins and carbs
coulda hit the gym, too full and satisfied tho
!halt!
the falsity is now clear
tis only a fading mirage
that chicken was not forever
nor was your fullness
but im still full and its been hours
when can i eat
when can i eat substance

[Ss No.3507015]

Life is a cosmic waiting game
the object of the game
To give life meaning

Religion is a staring contest
With yourself, in a mirror
Who will blink first?

More of an open thought than a poem though
I write these things on the back of receipts from work, I'm a casher in a grocery store in norway.

[Anonymous No.3507018]

>>3507015
That's the stupidest, most pretentious garbage I've ever read.

[Ss No.3507035]

>>3507018
Thank you

I was going for naive 9-year-old though, but close enough

[Ss No.3507049]

>>3507018
Red Lava lamp
Long black limousine
Crystal glass:
Liquid Russia, on the rocks.

Black, brown, bubbly, sweet.
Tangent and bitter
Light gray, up-beat.

Group soup on an island
Pacific ocean, Pacified sea?

marx. trotskij, gorbatsjov.
Big red, efficient
Swirly hunger on a bed of starch.


I've been reading alot about russia n' stuff lately-

[Anonymous No.3507363]

A mouse, an owl, an oak, a thistle
Amongst the tangles the wildlife bristle

Above the treetops a view serene
the midnight air cold fresh and clean

Silence, two wings, swoop and beak
a rodent snatched off its scampering feet

For the fledgeling owls things arent nearly so bitter
snuggled in their nest, fresh mouse for supper

This is my best work to date, any constructive criticism?

[Anonymous No.3507504]

just posted this in another thread, don't mean to spam, but I'm feeling a little share-y tonight.

http://crooked-life.tumblr.com/

[« 零 » !Ry9.23Wow. No.3507532]

I CONCUR WITH HOWARD PHILLIPS LOVECRAFT.

[Anonymous No.3507585]

Why waste an empty page with the meaningless ramble of somebody without a name?