/lit/, how's your novel or short story coming along?

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3462843]

>how far long are you
>does it seem good or bad yet
>how long have you been working on it for
>genre

[Anonymous No.3462859]

1,800 words after about three days. I am not happy with it, I don't think it's something I or anybody else would read.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3462863]

>>3462859

What kind of story?

[Anonymous No.3462872]

>>3462863
It's about the child of a rape victim, after his mother dies he briefly lives with his abusive uncle. He runs away, across Europe and America, writing poetry in public places and on inanimate objects as if it were a diary.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3462884]

>>3462872

That story could only be really amazing or completely terrible.

:O

[Anonymous No.3462891]

>>3462884
In the name of /lit/ I choose... THE LATTER!

[Anonymous No.3462906]

just finished a short story about a fat middle aged creepy guy who sees his old journals and decides hes going to try to be creative and deep again. It ends with him setting his alarm for work the next day, thinking about the ass of some blond he saw that day forgetting about the epiphany he had earlier.
Basically its probably going to be my life in 20 years

[Anonymous No.3462912]

Posting in another epic sunhawk thread.

[Anonymous No.3462963]

>>3462843
>how far long are you

[Anonymous No.3462967]

It's about a man who falls in love with a woman. Then he realizes the woman is a robot. And that everybody else is a robot.

Falling into an existential funk, he wanders the city streets looking for meaning.

The twist is that he tries to kill himself and realizes that he too is a robot.

[Anonymous No.3462981]

I'm still in the planning stages. Got the story down, just outlying the characters. Its a weird mix between pulpy detective fiction and social realism, set in the near future. Basically, the UK went full retard and left the EU and now its broke, and the NHS has to sub-contract all its jobs to the cheapest guy possible, in this case a slightly aspie, yet genius private detective (the protagonist). When a new strain of some Super-Aids shows up, he has to investigate the source of the disease.

[Anonymous No.3463007]

two new short stories finished four or so in the pipeline plus two longer projects on the back burner so basically i'm independent balling like a major, thanks for asking sunhog

[Anonymous No.3463061]

finished.
http://pastebin.com/0FNkr7Fw

[Anonymous No.3463116]

I finished what I thought would be one of the sections of the novel, an exercise in paroxysm within an involuntary public exhibitionism--science fiction. It was the second part done first, and I knew by the time I finished the beginning it would be re-done.

That first part was supposed to be a prologue, an action set-piece...but aspects of structuring the prose (Experimenting around a bit), and of ideas could've been refined vastly, and also lengthened.

After doing research, I've found that I wanted to increase the scope of this entire work vastly. Right now I'm in that process of weaving my materials into some whole.

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3463343]

>>3462981

It's getting harder and harder to tell the joke posts from the serious posts. Impossible. Are you really writing this story? I'm guessing the aspie part is based on several people on /lit/?

[Anonymous No.3463360]

>>3463343
Its a serious post. You don't like it? The background isn't THAT important to the story, its just a setting that I find interesting and very possible. I just wanted to write some pulp.

The idea is that the generation after ours was raised by the internet and thus has no social skills at all. So yeah, maybe influenced on 4chan a little.

[Anonymous No.3463677]

>write book since im 11
>8 years later
>still writing book
>dont want to end book because i've made some kind of bond with the fictional characters i've created
>7,000+ pages
>tfw book will never be read and enjoyed by others because im too lazy to publish or whatever writers do to get their book out there.

[Anonymous No.3463686]

>>3463677
just e-publish it the way it is, /lit/ wants to read it.

[Anonymous No.3463692]

>>3463686
I dont have a proper ending, and I'd have to make it into different parts since a book with almost 8,000 pages would be odd.

[Anonymous No.3463694]

>>3463677

Post it bro, we'll read it.

[Anonymous No.3463696]

>>3463677
I wish I'd done that with my fantasies. It'd be unpublishable, but cool to have written down.

Maybe if you have any passages or characters in there that you feel particularly stand out, think about adapting them into separate self-contained stories. Ones with a little more forethought and structure.

[Anonymous No.3463745]

>>3463061
Nice setting, but you leave too little for the reader's imagination by using too many auxiliary phrases and adjectives explicitly stating things you've implied before.

But that's just like, my opinion man.

[Anonymous No.3463763]

>>3463745
I don't understand you - would you mind explaining a bit more? I googled 'auxiliary phrases' but still couldn't make sense of your post.

[Anonymous No.3463837]

8,000 words in a week.

It's bad. The prose is very purple and inconsistent, to the point where you can't even decipher the actions being described. And it reads as trying to be deep, even though my only intention was to write a simple genre piece.

I have such a vivid image in my head, but I just don't have the words to match it.

[Anonymous No.3463879]

>>3463763
I thought it would be so. Therefore I will provide an example:

...most holidaymakers had long since abandoned the mountains for their catered chalets, dinner with family or outings with friends to brash Gallic alpine pubs for cold lager served from taps, laughter resounding through the walls.

The last bit was unnecessary I think. Once you say "brash alpine pubs", there's no need for the "laughter through the walls" bit. But that's just an opinion, don't take it to heart I guess.

This only goes for the first three paragraphs of the story. The dialogue is actually very nice I think (I would maybe add more 'he said, I said').

Also, you didn't ask for any of this, so sorry for arrogantly assuming my criticism would be any helpful.

[Anonymous No.3463884]

>>3463879
Your criticism is helpful - I think you're right with regards to the walls. tak tak.

[Anonymous No.3463911]

>>3463884
tak tak?

[Anonymous No.3464003]

>>3463911
The sounding of typing, I think. Tantamount to saying, "Blah, blah."

[Anonymous No.3464017]

writing a story about a dude studying lightning

coming along greatly.

but its an epistolary story.

so there is no dialogue

[Anonymous No.3464173]

>>3462981
> the NHS has to sub-contract all its jobs to the cheapest guy possible

Hi Dr. Nick!

[Anonymous No.3464372]

I wrote a three hundred page (six point, single spaced, times new roman) book about the misadventures of a bunch of idiots who get enlisted to be Official Government City Heroes in a modern world where magic is real and literally anything can happen, no matter how stupid. It is three hundred pages of weird parody, nonsensical plot, and inside jokes. The only other person who has read it is my best friend.

Why.

[Anonymous No.3464402]

0 pages

seems great so far

17 years

nihilistic parable

[Anonymous No.3464406]

>>3462906
Whoa. That's my life RIGHT NOW.

[Anonymous No.3464444]

>>3463837
>I have such a vivid image in my head, but I just don't have the words to match it.

[Anonymous No.3464449]

Please do no write until the you're 33.

Please do not respond to this, but take the advice.

[Anonymous No.3464452]

>>3464372
>magic is real and literally anything can happen

Faggot.

[Anonymous No.3464494]

10.
bad unedited, getting better when I come back to it.
the idea has changed a lot over time, with unfinished stories starting it all off. So about... five months? About twelve days if counting from when this specifically started.
I have no idea what the genre is. Sleep deprived man in the middle of the Bosnian war working as a mercenary with another odd character? And it only has one fight in its entirety? Clashing existential and romantic drama? Is that even a thing?

[Anonymous No.3464496]

>>3464402
10/10 sir bravo

[Anonymous No.3464500]

>>3464452
nah pretty sure he's onto something call it YA, pick a simple yet memorable pen name and make millions in licensing.

[Anonymous No.3464510]

>>3464449

[Anonymous No.3464512]

>>3464500
It's what happened for the series of unfortunate events guy

[Anonymous No.3464525]

3 entries in. about 2000 words.

pretty okay, most people drop it before the major plot point.

a couple weeks (working time)

Thriller/Horror/Psychological

lobotomizedgiraffe.tumblr.com

tell me how horrid it is.

[Anonymous No.3464551]

>>3464525
You werent lying when you said incompetent.

[Anonymous No.3464552]

Been trying to write a book since I was five, I think. I've got a bunch of half completed books from throughout my life, but I think I actually got somethin' goin' for me this time.
Book is about 20 pages so far and only in the second chapter, but for once I actually know where I'm going with it.

[Anonymous No.3464573]

>>3464551
A lot of shit did wrong there, I'll give you that, but it might have some potential if some more effort is put into it.

[Anonymous No.3464589]

>>3464551
any legitimate critiques ?

>>3464573
thanks sir/madam, I am trying to improve, but this is really just a project of mine.

[Anonymous No.3464633]

110,000 words into a novel I began two years ago, one I had an idea for around five years ago that gradually accumulated ideas as I let it simmer unattended. It seems alright so far; it's an honest attempt at writing science-fantasy with some actual meaning behind it, not just "good beats evil, lol" (...I'm looking at you, Brandon Sanderson). Actually, there's a magic system in place that's the exact opposite of what he does: it's not well defined, leaves a lot to the imagination (which is itself a theme), and its mere usage implies questions of the nature of consciousness and the limitations of perception.

It's basically a 2deep clusterfuck of a novel, inspired by Big O and Evangelion, with plot twists on the level of Death Note.

[Anonymous No.3464660]

>>3464449
I have to agree with this.
I have been trying to write a book for 6 years now. I changed the main plot 3 times and still don't feel like I have "grown" enough to actually write it all out, let alone the 3 books I have it planned out for.

The day may come but as of right now I still have a lot to learn.

[Anonymous No.3464692]

>>3464633

Sounds promising. Care to elaborate further?

[Anonymous No.3464706]

I'm still finalizing my characters, but I think I have the plot down pretty well, and I've written the first chapter or two.

[Anonymous No.3464713]

>>3464706
post it faggot

[Anonymous No.3464718]

>>3464633
Is your name Hans?

[Anonymous No.3464727]

I've had an idea for a story for 6 years. I've never felt like I am "ready" to write the whole thing yet, should I just ignore this and write anyways or wait?
I do write down my ideas and occasionally write about the basic plot or side things that would compliment the plot.
I still feel like there is a lot I can learn that would help make my story better.

[Anonymous No.3464730]

my novels are shitty. I get a hundred pages in realize that I have no real sense of conflict or where I'm going to reach an end and then throw it away.

[Anonymous No.3464753]

Pretty good, actually. I've only got the last couple (3 or 4) chapters to write out. It's taken my nearly 3 years to finish it, but I've made the most strides within this last year when I made it a point to just fucking finish it. Otherwise, I'd be spending another 3 years tweaking and adjusting it because it wasn't "perfect." I don't care if it's shit, really. The achievement means more to me than anything else, and hell, if Stephanie Meyer can get a book published, I figure I can too.

[Anonymous No.3464769]

>>3464753
Is your story pandering to illogical teenage/immature woman love fantasies?

[Anonymous No.3464776]

>>3464769
No, it's a detailed argument on the implications of the Transhumanist movement, combined with various dialogues and debates about the Ship of Theseus paradox and the influence technology/media has upon the perception of redeeming oneself after a horrible crime, or if such a thing is even possible through technological means.

[Anonymous No.3464782]

>>3464776
Yeah, that's not going to be published.

[Anonymous No.3464791]

>>3464782
By a major publishing company.

[Anonymous No.3464792]

>>3464776
Now think about the audience that fits too and then tell me you can get published like Stephanie Meyer

[Anonymous No.3464794]

>>3464782
Don't really care. The fact that I committed myself to a project and finished it means more to me than anything else. If all I get are rejection letters, then that's okay by me. I'm just happy to have actually created something.

[Anonymous No.3464801]

>>3464794
Okay, it just sounded like you were saying "getting published means more to you than anything else". Because that won't happen.

[Anonymous No.3464806]

I started writing a short story. It's about a man named Charles, aged 50. It's set one hundred years in the future.

Thirty years prior to the story's start, Charles (at this point called Charlie) is conflicted. He was offered a six-figure job that would consume all of his time, but he has a girlfriend he loves, who wants to start a family with him. He goes to an illegal medical clinic to clone himself so he can focus on one thing while the clone can focus on the other. This way Charlie doesn't really have to choose witch path to take. After he is cloned, the original flips a coin. Heads is work, tails is family. It lands on heads, so he takes the job, while the clone takes his girl friend. He doesn't tell anyone that there are in fact now two of him.

Back to the present, Charles is sitting in a car in an abandoned parking lot in the evening. He has a gun in his hand. His life has turned hollow since he focused completely on work. He now plans to kill his clone, so he can't be seen as the 'loser' of the two. He gets out of his car and walks to his clone's house. He looks in the window and sees something that destroys him: his clone is eating dinner and laughing- with his wife and children. Charles then realizes that he has wasted his life. The other him, inside, has the innocence he once had. The man in the house is Charlie, while he is the dried out, tired Charles. Charles then resolves to kill himself.

That's the plot. I'm thinking it will be ten-ish pages long. Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.3464808]

>>3464801
>The achievement means more to me than anything else

how does that mean he wants to get published more than anything else?

I only originally asked him if his story was pandering to Stephanie Meyer's audience because he seemed to think her getting published meant he could.

[Anonymous No.3464813]

>>3464808
i just misread what he was saying, "the achievement means more to me than anything else, if stephanie meyer can get published than I can too." I thought the achievement spoken of was getting published, given that that was the clause that followed.

[Anonymous No.3464819]

>>3464813
His previous sentences give context to the "achievement" being him wanting to finish the book, but I can see how you can get it confused.

[Anonymous No.3464822]

>>3464813
>>3464819
wanna post what you guys have written or not?

[Anonymous No.3464836]

I've started a lot of stories but never finished any. I need your help /lit/ which sounds best:

1. Begins a few days after the fall of Tenochtitlan. A group of survivors decide to travel north in search of their ancient land of origin, Aztlan, in order to rebuild. They are forced to come to terms with the quickly changing world as European powers begin to settle the New World.

2. A story set in a fantasy world about a boy who becomes involved in a conspiracy to kill the king. The boy becomes a servant in the royal household and observes as the king slowly goes mad, mourning the loss of his queen.

[Anonymous No.3464837]

>>3462843
Short Story here, I've been told the rest works but if anyone wants to help me with the intro, I'm always pretty bad with them.

The Men Who Don't Exist
My name is David Boyce and officially, I don't exist. I was born in the United States and raised in an orphanage in Hoboken, NJ. I never knew who my parents were, nor did I ever care to find out. Obviously anyone who didn't care to check up or write to their own family couldn't possibly love them. That's beside the point. Throughout my years at the orphanage, I got into too many fights for any couple to want to take me home with them. That actually tended to fuel my anger which got me into even more fights. You could say I had my fair share of anger issues.
Eventually I turned 18, the age where you are discharged because you are no longer a child. I had always had a fascination with the military. They have the chance to travel and take out their aggression with nearly no repercussions. Less than a week into my living on the streets, I checked into a Marine recruitment center. Only the best of the best I thought. Clearly, I had never had the best of anything my whole life. This was my chance to make something of myself. Almost 3 months pass jumping from shelter to shelter until the day finally comes when I meet the bus driver who will take me to the beginning of my new life, or what I thought would be my new life. As soon as I stepped onto the pavement at the Parris Island Marine Recruiting Depot, I was met with the foulest, most degrading man I'd ever met, yelling at the other recruits and I, little particles of spit smothering our faces like a balaclava. The next 13 weeks were a living hell for me but I had to endure them to tell you this story. Graduation Day was full of mixed emotions for me, seeing the other Marines' parents crying with joy as mine were nowhere to be found but knowing I was officially a jarhead.
Theres more to it

[Anonymous No.3464849]

>>3464806
Could I please get some feedback? As it's going, it looks like this story'll be the first thing I ever write to have some real worth.

[Anonymous No.3464850]

>2/5
>horrible
>1 year
>play

[Anonymous No.3464880]

>>3462843
I have a finished novel, which is complete shit, and several abandoned half-finished ones. I'm bigger on short stories. The one I'm currently working on I've been doing for a couple days, about 1000 words in. It's looking nice. Also genres are stupid.

[Anonymous No.3464884]

>>3464849
I dunno, sounds pretty boring. Not much seems to be happening, might just be my ass burgers.

[Anonymous No.3464888]

I envision a series of scenes. Then I lack the power to link them together in a narrative. So what I have is a half dozen half finished books all consisting of disjoint events.

[Anonymous No.3464891]

>>3464806
Hello? I'd really like a critique on the plot of this.

[Anonymous No.3464893]

>>3464884
Oh, I didn't see this. Thanks, noted.

[Anonymous No.3464894]

>>3464806
Sounds like the 6th day

[Anonymous No.3464895]

>>3464894
The Schwarzenegger movie? I've never seen it (funnily enough, it was filmed partly in my high school). I'll look up the plot. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.3464896]

>>3464837
Advice: start with something that keeps your reader guessing. I can't speak for everyone, but I hate slogging through a bunch of background information at the beginning of a story. I'm getting a distinct impression from your voice, which is good, but it sounds a little flat. There's not much personality to it. This isn't necessarily a bad thing in a character, but it's bad to start a story off with it. I wouldn't call your intro awful, just boring. If I just read this as a first paragraph, I probably wouldn't keep reading. But then again, everyone has their own opinions, and if it works for you, and it engages you as both a reader and writer, keep it how you want it.

[Anonymous No.3464901]

>>3464894
I skimmed the plot, and the only real parallel I saw was the prominence of clones.

[Anonymous No.3464902]

81,000 words. I have one more major revision to do. Only some minor things need to be changed; mostly fixing the quotation marks.

Good.

2 years. 3 months to write most of it. 1.5 years to edit and revise. Thought the idea up 3 years ago.

Thriller in a zombie apocalyptic world

[Mr Punch No.3464908]

>>3464836
plz rply

[Anonymous No.3464913]

>>3464908
I like the first one.

[Anonymous No.3464915]

Been working on a three part novella-ish project for my advanced writing workshop for university. Currently projecting the finished work to be around ~28k words, currently have the first part done.

It's a bit inspired from Ghost in the shell/Deus ex, but the concept centers around a revitalized Detroit about a decade and a half in the future. A computer scientist designed artificial intelligence capable of controlling tanks, missles, etc, and other military vehicles, and also pioneered work in advanced, computerized prosthetics. He's used his fortune to basically make Detroit his own city (undertaking building projects, privatizing the police force, etc.) The story itself centers around one of the police officers (who's had prosthetic work done) working for him as he discovers a plan to try to topple all the good that's been done while confronting issues of his own identity.

It's not as shitty (I think) as my description sounds, but I'll post it if anyone's interested in giving it a read & providing feedback before I get shit on by my workshop group

[Anonymous No.3464947]

>>3464915
sounds... interdasting

[Anonymous No.3464954]

>>3464896
I tried keeping the background paragraphs as short as possible. The part I posted is only 1 page out of 17 so far but I've gotten close to the same advice you gave me. I just thought the stuff I put was just enough of a bg to tell who he is and what he comes from

[Anonymous No.3464957]

>>3464954
Don't put that information right at the beginning though. Insert it later, when the story needs to slow down. It's better to start off fast; grab your reader's attention.

[Anonymous No.3464960]

>>3464957
ok, I know exactly what you mean. More like a flashback text kind of thing

[Anonymous No.3464967]

>>3464960
Not the same guy, but if you want to include any flashbacks in your stories, make sure you do so only after a significant amount of time's passed in your story. Nothing's worse than getting a page or two of present time, then suddenly shifting to a flashback

[Anonymous No.3464973]

I wrote an "episode" if you will this weekend of a story I've had brewing for a few years that I've recently started to really focus on.

I like how it came out but I want some outside perspectives on it and feedback.

It's fantasy and about 4500~ words long.

[Anonymous No.3464982]

>>3464973
Post it and I'll give it a read

[Anonymous No.3464992]

>>3464967
I have 2 flashbacks but they are evenly spaced near the end as the character starts to realize his demise could be imminent. Idk why I said flashback in the other post.

[Anonymous No.3465005]

Alright, so far.

My MC has to reprogram a computer in thirty seconds or the AI will kill him. I'm not sure how to go about making programming exciting.

[Anonymous No.3465007]

>>3464982
Here it is.

http://pastebin.com/yE8QHZif

[Anonymous No.3465008]

>>3465005
>30 seconds

Suspension of disbelief, where did you go?

[Anonymous No.3465010]

Still currently outlining a writing project though will eventually be written as a novel or potential saga. I went from late-night notes to actually writing everything in treatment format; mainly because I come from more of a screenplay background and it’s the most familiar. It's also a great way to build upon ideas and resolve problems. The treatment is taking a long time to flesh out, mainly due to the level of research, adding new elements in and the sheer amount of world building involved.

Funnily enough the story started out as a short story. I realised though that I wasn’t just writing a short story, but I was writing only one small event in a much larger story. Before I knew it, I had created a host of races, with characters, agendas, religions, histories and cultures. It's not fantasy, but more 'soft' science-fiction; think Dune or Homeworld. No aliens, death-rays, warp speed or space cowboys though; it’s definitely more character driven than plot driven.

Once I'm done with the treatment, I'm going to let it simmer for a bit and look at it again with a hopefully fresh perspective. In the meantime I'll write some short stories with the hope of publishing them. I've got about 10 potential shorts that are waiting to be written - it's just separating the strongest from the weakest.

[Anonymous No.3465014]

>>3465005
just go with :(){ :|:& };:

[Anonymous No.3465015]

>>3465008
Makes sense in context

[Anonymous No.3465016]

>68,000 words, Editing process
>Good. Needs touch ups everywhere though.
>2 Months
>Modern Fantasy

[Anonymous No.3465022]

>>3465016
2 months what? To go? Until it's due? How long it's taken?

[Anonymous No.3465026]

>>3465015
Try not to bog it down in technical details and keep in mind the time limit. Your character probably experiences some time dilution so can try stretch the scene out with descriptions of how every thwarted attempted just frustrates him more and more and so on and so forth.

I guess try to capture the feeling of being in a high stakes, high stress situation.

[Anonymous No.3465029]

54,187 words in, 3rd Chapter of a planned 10. Been working on it for about 3 months.

I really enjoy the way it's coming out. Mostly because I've been hammering it with revisions for parts I feel could be worded differently or better.

The genre is still up in the air, I really just write what I think and then retouch. It really falls into Adult Drama, because of little spices here and there that really take each chapter to an extreme without hindering the overall effect or storyline. The subtle steampunk setting stems from my love of the genre, but I set it in a future where electronics are banned. 'Magic' is the result of a series of mutations created during the fallout of a world-wide nuclear epidemic (Not necessarily a bombing, I leave this part vague to allow the reader to create their own theory for what happened, as every character in the story seems to have their own as well.) In short, I'd say it's a Steampunk Drama to catch all of the ground I have and will cover: (Adult) Romance, Horror, Psychological, and whatever the genre subtly adopts as the chapters progress.

[Anonymous No.3465054]

Three different works of significant length in progress.

First is about three teenager murderers who join a government funded cult. Kinda Macbeth-ish and cliched subject but it was my first try at prose of significant length. Started it two years ago. Currently sits at 90,000 words. In final editing stages. People say it's pretty good. By that I mean they actually finished reading it and say not bad. I know I could do better. Genre: Young Adult Drama

Second is about a fallen angel who becomes a sex addict. Split into two parts, one narrated by the angel, the other by her foster brother who she victimized. More mature than my previous works. Wrote the original short story a year and a half ago, started expanding it eight months ago About 35,000 words so far, but I've written myself into a hole. What I've written has been great, in my opinion, and I'm the most pessimistic writer in my city. Genre: Drama with splash of Fantasy.

Last is about a Russian writer/ex-soldier who flees to America during the Stalinist Purges and gets involved with the Mafia. Started it a few weeks ago. Mostly outlined with about 5,000 words. A lot of potential, but a lot of work to do. Genre: Historical Fiction.

[Anonymous No.3465057]

>>3465007
Any possible feedback on this here?

[Anonymous No.3465061]

>>3465007
A few things

I'd remove all of the curse words from the story. Having foul language in any story - and especially a fantasy story - really brings the quality of the writing down several notches.

The big attention getter of the story is that it's in second person, but I don't think it's very effective for a fantasy setting. Second person's effectiveness is based on imbuing in the reader familiar settings, feelings, etc., but how many people have undertaken on a grand quest like that? Not many, I'd imagine.

[Anonymous No.3465066]

>>3465061
Hm, would the cursing still be appropriate in the context of the character being angry?

Was the pov too jarring? Maybe my prose and such wasn't good enough for the use of second person. I just liked the feel of it and it's not used very often used.

[Anonymous No.3465076]

>>3465066
No, I don't think so. I mean, how often have you seen works like fuck and shit in a Tolkien/Goodkind/George Martin novel? Saying "damn" or "shit" once in a blue moon is fine (like when your character is really angry), but stuff like motherfucker is a bit too much imo.

Second person isn't really used very often just because it gets so intimate with the reader. I'm not saying never to use it, just that I don't feel it's appropriate for a fantasy-esque story. Try experimenting with first or third person, but if those don't feel right for your story, then stick with second person.

[Anonymous No.3465081]

>>3465076
Hm, okay I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for your input.

[Anonymous No.3465248]

>>3464003
it's scandinavian slang for 'thank you'.

[Anonymous No.3465373]

>>3463360
I don't get why there's an investigation into how it started.

[Anonymous No.3465379]

>>3464915
Uh, isn't that Robocop?

[Anonymous No.3465398]

My day-job means I'm too tired to focus properly on the novel, I'll be returning to full-time education in September starting with a foundation year so I plan to do the bulk of it during that time. I have extensive notes and all the research materials I need ready.
In the meantime I'm writing and selling short stories for writing credit and spare cash. I have several on the go at any one time.

Excerpts from the novel have been called "very well written" by a few people (those exact words, which is ominous) and my short stories are "competent". Not certain what that translates to but it's positive enough.

[Anonymous No.3465411]

>>3465398
Maybe you need more feels

[Anonymous No.3465419]

>>3464525
Any feedback on this?

[Anonymous No.3465459]

>>3464902
Care to elaborate?

[Anonymous No.3465512]

I wrote 25k of this story in nov 2012 (kind of a relaxed NaNo type thing). Abandoned it until last month, now thoroughly editing what I have, and have written out the notes for the whole second part of the story (should total ~50k, but we'll see), and a decent part of the sequel. I'm pretty happy with it so far. It's the longest thing I've ever written and if I finish it it will be first 'long' piece I've ever completed. Quite excited about the sequel too. I know it's not fantastic, but I've learnt a lot and it will be a great achievement for me.

It's fanfiction

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3465531]

>>3465054

1st sounds meh, 2nd sounds really good, 3rd sounds really good. The angel one sounds like it could go places...so to speak. Maybe you should carry on with it.

[Anonymous No.3465540]

>>3465411
Feels are for the weak.

[Anonymous No.3466437]

>>3465398
Post some of the short stories fag

[Anonymous No.3466476]

>>3462843
i am legitimately surprised at times when someone on /lit/ decides to share his work and how amateur it is. it may possibly be just due to how juvenile one would have to be in posting it. another possible theory is that most who put an extreme amount of work and perfecting into their work are far to anxious to post it.

[Anonymous No.3466483]

>>3466476
post yours you uppity fuck

[Anonymous No.3466490]

>>3466476
too* anxious

[Anonymous No.3466501]

>>3464525
i cringed at the line about leaving PROJECT REBIRTH. i feel a lot of would-be writers just always seem too eager to introduce their lore by just throwing titles, and concepts at you so nonchalantly. it might be just me though, i find it to be a huge turn off.

[Anonymous No.3466508]

>>3466501
I only introduced it because I don't plan on mentioning it much more in the story, but thanks.

also any tips on my dialogue?

[Anonymous No.3466713]

>>3463061

Dialogue needs a shit ton of work. Way too mechanical.

[Anonymous No.3468027]

>>3465531
Thanks. 1st one is definitely meh to be honest. Good prose, okay plot, bad dialogue. The angel novel is tricky because I have to keep it from turning into a smut novel or a gushy romance piece. Gotta keep it classy.