/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3345045]

Can we have a /lit/ humour thread?
All the other boards I go to will occasionally have a thread full of funny moments, great posts and board specific 'memes' (yeah, I know),

>inb4 pleb, peasant, diletantte, moron, tacky, back to /b/reddit, do you even read and so forth.

[Anonymous No.3345049]

pleb, peasant, diletantte, moron, tacky
>back to 9fag

[Anonymous No.3345050]

>Take creative writing workshop.
>Class of ten with woman lecturer who starts talking about plot development and hero's journey.
>"Implying I read for plot," I shout through cupped hands.
>Class glares at me.
>"two thousand and twelve,"I tell everyone
>Teacher tuts and starts discussing character development in Harry Potter.
>"Do you even read?" I shout. "Go back to mew"
>Ginger man to my left tells me to shut up.
>"I bet you haven't even read Ulysses or Dee-Eff-Double-you" I tell him
>Class starts shouting at me, asking me to leave. It was all that ginger man's fault.
>I turn back to him
>"Your filthy roach. I bet you read fifty shades and genre fiction."
>He stands up and tells me to get out.
>"No," I said. "I'm the only real reader here. I read for prose, you're just a fucking casual"
>He hit me right on the nose, the cartilage cracks, blood sprays over my desk.
>I get up and walk out, grinning to myself at how superior I am.
>Filthy roaches. I bet they're talking about Kerouac now.

[Anonymous No.3345055]

>>3345050
>it wall all that gingers man's fault.
Heh, more like this.

[Anonymous No.3345056]

Has anyone got that pic of DFW with Harold Bloom in the window behind him?

[Anonymous No.3345057]

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

Fuckin' murder mysteries.

[Anonymous No.3345062]

>no discernible talent
>Tao Lin
>ass full of farts
>entry level

[Anonymous No.3345063]

"Dear Mr. Lin,

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter – someday I intend reading it."

[Anonymous No.3345067]

[Anonymous No.3345069]

After finishing American Apparel, Tao Lin sends his manuscript to a publisher with a note saying, ‘None of the characters in this story bear any resemblance to any person living or dead.’ The publisher sends back the book with a note saying, ‘That’s what’s wrong with it.’

[Anonymous No.3345072]

What's /lit/'s obsession with Tao Lin?

[Anonymous No.3345075]

Anne Hathaway throws her copy of The Bell Jar out the window.

Anne Plathaway

[Anonymous No.3345078]

>>3345067
I think we're on the same page. Jesus that made me cringe hard.

[Anonymous No.3345088]

>>3345078
If you ignore the fact that "on the same page" is a common turn of phrase, I think the notion is pretty cute.

[Anonymous No.3345090]

>>3345075
Uh...good try, anon. Good effort.

Tao Lin, is that you?

[Anonymous No.3345102]

[Anonymous No.3345103]

/lit/ isn't very funny...

[Anonymous No.3345108]

[Anonymous No.3345114]

>>3345103
No, we're pretty funny.

[Anonymous No.3345115]

>>3345114

[Anonymous No.3345117]

[Anonymous No.3345121]

>>3345072
resentment

[Anonymous No.3345135]

>>3345115
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTXyYtqOqJ0

[Anonymous No.3345137]

[Anonymous No.3345151]

>>3345072
Every board needs somebody to hate/make fun of.

[Anonymous No.3345165]

Even a shithole like /r9k/ is funnier than you guys, I'm very disappointed. Where is the Oscar Wild-esque wit, the Pynchonian absurdity, the sad but hilarious edge of DFW.

[Anonymous No.3345172]

>>3345165

DFW only has one joke, and it's not very funny. It takes him a whole novel to express it, but it's there on the very first page.

[Anonymous No.3345184]

>>3345165
Why didnt the skeleton go to the party?

>He had no BODY to go with!

[Anonymous No.3345185]

>>3345184
Why didnt the skeleton cross the road?

>He didnt have the STOMACH for it!

[Anonymous No.3345186]

>>3345184
>>3345185

Why couldnt the mushroom get on the train?

>There wasnt MUSH ROOM!

[Anonymous No.3345188]

>>3345184
>>3345185
>>3345186

Why did the mushroom have so many friends?

>He was a FUN GUY!

[Anonymous No.3345198]

[Anonymous No.3345201]

[Anonymous No.3345204]

What did Watson's dad say when Watson called him?

What, son?

So this guy named Ivan really wanted to have sex, so he called a local pimp and asked for a prostitute. The pimp chose a good one, told her to get ready, and drove her to Ivan's apartment. As she was getting out of the car she asked, "what was the name of the client again?" and the pimp answered:

Ivan, ho!

[Anonymous No.3345205]

[Anonymous No.3345229]

>>3345204
>dem puns

[Anonymous No.3345238]

>>3345205
I'm crying here.

[Anonymous No.3345249]

>>3345045
we had our own humour.
Then the anon is legion chased away our glorious trips.
Now it's a dead board.

[Anonymous No.3345254]

I think I'll stop visiting this place

[Anonymous No.3345255]

>>3345229
I'm just going to leave this here.

[Anonymous No.3345258]

>>3345201
This one is really great.
>>3345205
Wow, that's amazing.

[Anonymous No.3345932]

>>3345067
I was there for that. God how painfully weird.

[Anonymous No.3345957]

>>3345165
The witty ones just started semester.

captcha: phd antfran

[Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ No.3345963]

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

[Anonymous No.3345995]

/lit/ is probably one of the least creative boards on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.3346055]

this thread needs some zizek

[Anonymous No.3346059]

>>3345995
You must not be familiar with /lit/'s great works, like "Let Freedom Ring" and "The Penis Was."

[Anonymous No.3346068]

>>3346055
*wipes nose*

[Anonymous No.3346070]

[Anonymous No.3346074]

>other boards

[Anonymous No.3346076]

>>3346055
his face is enough

[Anonymous No.3346083]

>>3345075
I chuckled.

[Anonymous No.3346088]

/lit/ was a whole lot funnier when they let the AynRand-tards post with abandon

now...not so much... though the DFW-tards are worth a laugh now and then

monkeys are always funny so here ya go

[Anonymous No.3346095]

From yesterday

[Anonymous No.3346174]

ITT: or more accurately ITB (In this board):

FYAD rejects, failed or soon-to-fail writers, resident celebrity Mr. Lin, plebs seeking some kind of intellectual makeover (though inexplicably expecting little necessary effort on their part), oppressed feminists sulking in some thread or another, DFW enthusiasts who are assumed to have read any of his books (or at least any book at all), lit is srs buzness types, post-post-post(etc.)-ironic types who make good jokes and laugh at the right jokes too, mind you, and so on.

Every now and then a newcomer or confused internet traveler will happen upon /lit/, and be so upset that he will be moved, tears streaming down his earnest cheeks, to post something like "/lit/ used to be so good"

Maybe that's the joke, I don't know. I'm too afraid of rejection to actually ever post anything. I'm sure you can relate...

[Anonymous No.3346191]

>>3346174

idgi

[Anonymous No.3346210]

>>3346055
Hey I remember my religious studies professor talking about this guy.

[Anonymous No.3346221]

>>3346059

no, i am, i co-wrote them. that was a long time ago though.

[Anonymous No.3346235]

>>3346095
I masturbated to "sextant"

I still hold I was correct in my useage.

[Anonymous No.3346241]

>>3346174
Amateur-tip: you forgot the academics.

[Anonymous No.3346249]

>>3346241
don't make me laugh

[Anonymous No.3346264]

>>3346095
Can't you faggots abandon that "dafuq" bullshit already.

[Anonymous No.3346266]

>>3346264
>omg people use it on reddit and facebook i can't be seen sharing jokes with those inferior creatures
lel

[Anonymous No.3346308]

>>3345135
That was beautiful

[Anonymous No.3346315]

>>3345932
I was there too
I feel like there's only like 15 of us.

[Anonymous No.3346346]

I like the joke poems that /lit/ writes sometimes.

[Anonymous No.3346352]

>>3345205
It is my dream to one day understand this image. And to find it funny.

[Anonymous No.3346360]

The DFW jiggle. Dance to end all dances.

[Anonymous No.3346377]

>>3346315
We are a pretty small community. I wonder how many times you and I alone have talked on here.

[Anonymous No.3346481]

We are so high-brow here.

[Anonymous No.3346497]

This my favourite.

[Anonymous No.3346599]

?

[Anonymous No.3346630]

[Anonymous No.3346640]

>Only nerds will get this joke xD

[Anonymous No.3346645]

>>3346630
>She's 18

I cracked up.

[Anonymous No.3346659]

>>3346640
98% of teenagers haven't read any book besides Harry Potter or Twilight. Like this if you're the 2%.

[Anonymous No.3346668]

>>3346659
Sad thing is, it's probably more than 98%

[Anonymous No.3346676]

This fucker right here is either genius or asperger. Who knows, maybe he's both?

[Anonymous No.3346677]

>>3346599
KC Green is the god of online comics

i have made the effort of downloading and uploading one of the dark homer comics

He is also the number one poet on Twitter: https://twitter.com/barfcaptain

[Anonymous No.3346682]

>>3346677
>RT if you have ever been stabbed on accident.

[Anonymous No.3346696]

>>3346676
That was a fun read. For the first 5 posts or so I was trying to decode the OP's nonsense as some sort of riddle. He truly is a genius.

[Anonymous No.3346698]

"Hodor!";, said Hodor.

[Anonymous No.3346699]

[Anonymous No.3346700]

>>3346676
I read the whole thing. dunno why but i did.

[Anonymous No.3346708]

Some should post that mock litcore picture.

It gets me every time.

[Anonymous No.3346712]

[Anonymous No.3346716]

[Anonymous No.3346718]

>>3346708

This one?

[Anonymous No.3346727]

[Anonymous No.3346728]

[Anonymous No.3346736]

>>3346718

Whoops, I'm an idiot. It's already posted:

>>3346497

[Anonymous No.3346739]

sorta /lit/ related

[Anonymous No.3346742]

[Anonymous No.3346751]

captcha: pbleans was

[Anonymous No.3346766]

[Anonymous No.3346767]

>>3346739
>An itself of Yahwehs

lol.

[Anonymous No.3346774]

>>3345056

[Anonymous No.3346780]

This?

[Anonymous No.3346785]

>>3346780
>cookbooks
>shorter

[Anonymous No.3346792]

>>3346766

>Plebean

[Anonymous No.3346800]

>>3346360

And now he's up in the great dance hall in the sky :(

[Anonymous No.3346810]

>>3346360
You can tell that Zadie Smith is embarrassed to be around him.

If asked, I would jiggle dance with DFW till the end of time.

[Anonymous No.3346813]

>>3346800
i cry evry tiem

[Anonymous No.3346817]

>>3346810
When I started reading "Changing My Mind," I found all these reviews where people were criticizing her for being pretentious, and I was like "What the fuck." But then I kept reading and I have to admit she's pretty fucking pretentious.

Supposedly DFW had to be dragged to that trip by Franzen, but when he got there he lightened up for once and did the whole author-abroad thing.

[Anonymous No.3346839]

>>3346817
Is Changing My Mind still worth a read? I have a copy and haven't touched it yet. I haven't read any of her fiction either.

[Anonymous No.3346847]

>>3346800
Hill of suicides is in hell

[Anonymous No.3346867]

>>3346810
I don't think that at all if anything they look more like good friends. Smith constantly sing his praises in interviews, even before his death.

[Anonymous No.3346885]

>What's Ophelia's last name?
Balls

>Where did Polonious get stabbed?
In the arras

Hamlet jokes non-plebe race

[Anonymous No.3346889]

the only humor threads we have are when people ask for critique or ask about breaking into the publishing industry

[Anonymous No.3346912]

pic related

[Anonymous No.3346916]

[Anonymous No.3346923]

[Anonymous No.3346925]

etc.

[Anonymous No.3346960]

[Anonymous No.3346966]

>>3345063

Glorious.

[Anonymous No.3346991]

>>3346800
>I will never be able to write him a letter

[Anonymous No.3347001]

[Anonymous No.3347008]

[Anonymous No.3347020]

a ylyl thread on lit??

[Anonymous No.3347038]

>>3346718
Why is American Psycho with all those other books?

[Anonymous No.3347041]

>>3347001
>the best thing ever

But seriously, I keep my tomato sauce in the fridge because a) cold tomato sauce on hot fries is god-tier and b) australia is so hot that any food goes off in no time.

DISCUSS KETCHUP IN THE FRIDGE: YES/NO

[Anonymous No.3347044]

>>3347038
For someone on /lit/ you're having difficulty reading.

[Anonymous No.3347052]

>>3347044
You know what I mean you cheeky fellow. I'm just saying that it's a book of more substance than those other ones and I don't understand why it is used to troll people.

[Anonymous No.3347074]

>>3347041
>putting ketchup in the fridge

how many times have you entered a dining establishment where ketchup packets were stored in little refrigerators?

what's more, some restaurants even place a bottle of ketchup on each table.

[Anonymous No.3347078]

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Why the long face?"
The horse says "My wife just had a miscarriage."

[Anonymous No.3347090]

>>3347052
BEE is a crap author. American Psycho merely accidentally has a deeper and enduring cultural value, and most of /lit/'s "aesthetes" don't deign to comprehend the third level of American Psycho, whereas most of the blow throughs can't even read the first articulately.

So it is a book that is so poorly used by its readers that it is used to troll /lit/.

Get it? Got it? Good. The fault is not in the text, but in ourselve.

[Anonymous No.3347091]

>>3346839
Changing My Mind is pretty meh, I only read the first quarter and put it down. Her fiction on the other hand is wonderful, she's in my top ten, easily.

[Anonymous No.3347096]

>>3347090
>BEE is a crap author
Mah subjective opinion.

[Anonymous No.3347106]

>>3347096
Read Glamorama or American Bedrooms and get back to me on the cultural value of providing bildungsroman after bildungsroman centred on bourgeois "subjects" merely the same age as BEE, time after time.

Self serves others better than himself better than BEE ever flowered.

[Anonymous No.3347108]

Did /lit/ forgot about the huge Orson Wells?

[Anonymous No.3347115]

>>3347096
>Mah subjective opinion.

"An author like Nabokov is Pavarotti's voice. He has full command over what he's doing. He Uses a vast array of techniques; the metaphors, free indirect style, pronoun play, etc..., are just devices like tremolo, vibrato, sustain, to enhance the piece. He presents a polished work of art that demonstrates his ability.

An author like BEE is Johnny Rotten's voice. He's not brilliant at structure, but the piece has a raw, aggressive tone that complements his ideas. He may not be as technically complex as Nabokov, but can present a compelling minimal style that is passionate. The brutal jagged style is is exactly what's required for his pieces, and wouldn't express the same if they came from another pen.

Neither is better or worse than the other. "

[Anonymous No.3347127]

>Archived thread for "Future Penguin Classics"

[Anonymous No.3347128]

>>3347090
Makes perfect sense actually, thank you.

[Anonymous No.3347131]

[Anonymous No.3347134]

>>3347115
>[reading for prose voice]

Sure, avoid the largest deficiency of BEE, even as a stylist.

[Anonymous No.3347153]

>>3346751
I always thought post-modernism was like avante garde and shit. When did feminism enter the equation?

[Anonymous No.3347162]

>>3347153
When the fascists from /pol/ and the MRA from /r9k/ wanted to make a strawman movement.

[Anonymous No.3347190]

>>3347162
Well, also most of us who have to work with those cunts have told them about praxis when they've scabbed on strikes claiming "radical subjectivity."

The only solution is to beat their hands with crowbars.

[Anonymous No.3347199]

>>3346751
Shiiet, why american always brag theirselfs about be native americans? Why this guy in the comic don't say "also gay"?

[Anonymous No.3347253]

>>3345205
Why Heidi?

[Anonymous No.3347281]

>>3347199
The writer didn't want to alienate their audience of "absolutely definitely heterosexual guys who are totally not obsessed with 'trans' people despite making and reading comics about it".

[Anonymous No.3347295]

>>3347253
Arguably the most influential 20th century continental philosopher.

[Anonymous No.3347322]

If Albert Camus was an animal he would be Albert Camoose

If Ayn Rand was a wrestler she would be Ayn Randy Savage

If DFW was an animal he would still be alive

[Anonymous No.3347372]

>>3347322
If DFW was talented he'd be alive.

[Anonymous No.3347382]

>>3345115
The Aeneid was too boring for me, too dry. Maybe I'm a pleb. But when summarized, it really is funny.

[Anonymous No.3348303]

>>3347372

[Anonymous No.3348307]

>>3347382
It's probably my favorite epic. I've always liked it more than anything by Homer.

[Cammy !!50j7tuCXdh0 No.3348320]

i've got a good joke


books that aren't classics

[Anonymous No.3348327]

[Anonymous No.3348335]

Not sure if these are /lit/ related, but dumping a few. I think most are from /lit/.

[Anonymous No.3348367]

>>3348335

[Anonymous No.3348369]

>>3348367

[Anonymous No.3348383]

Can someone post the /lit/ Christmas card for /sci/?
I've only seen the /sci/ one.

[Anonymous No.3348385]

>>3348327

That's Socrates.

[Anonymous No.3348391]

>>3348385
And what fine books did Socrates write?

[Anonymous No.3348393]

>>3348391
>And what fine books did Socrates write?
How to win friends and influence people.

[Anonymous No.3348405]

>>3348383
They seem quite obsessed with /lit/.

[Anonymous No.3348414]

>>3348391

Well if you're going to be a cock about it, Plato didn't write any book called ">Implying" either, you jerk.

[Anonymous No.3348429]

>>3345069
haha ha

heheh

[Anonymous No.3348448]

Brownbear used to have quite funny little stories.

[Anonymous No.3348450]

[Anonymous No.3348453]

>>3345932
How did it go?

I've experiened something like the picture, just even more intense and where SHE is the one leading on and I totally kinda fall in love and she just wants to be friends, lol.

We would have been the best of friends though. It was like, us against the world.

[Anonymous No.3348458]

>>3345072
He keeps self-promoting here. This was confirmed in an interview.

[Anonymous No.3348497]

>>3348448
whatever happen to that guy? his greentexts about going to the bookstore and such were a delightful addition to this board
>mfw i miss him
;_;

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3348591]

What a great thread this is.

[Anonymous No.3348615]

>>3348497

Wait, there were folks who actually enjoyed Brownbear? I remember him as nothing more than a nothing who raped the board with his own narcissism. I suppose it wasn't a rape to all.

[demiurge No.3348648]

>>3348615
it was rape but some people have rape fantasies

[Anonymous No.3348712]

>>3348405
the card was for /lit/ specifically

[Anonymous No.3348715]

>>3348712
So they are obsessed.

[Anonymous No.3348737]

>>3347108

not all of us

[Anonymous No.3349006]

>>3348737

[Anonymous No.3349123]

>>3345198
i lol'd. good stuff.

[Anonymous No.3349154]

>>3347001
Holy shit I haven't seen this model in ages. I remember a hubbub over her nude pics.

I forget her name.

[Anonymous No.3349334]

[Anonymous No.3349364]

>>3348367
thats from /fit/

[Anonymous No.3349426]

>>3345201

[Anonymous No.3349443]

>>3349426
Thesis 11

[Anonymous No.3349446]

/sci/ stopping by with a short joke.

Helium goes into a bar. Bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses here!"

Helium doesn't react.

[Anonymous No.3349454]

>>3349426
Just so you know, the other one is funnier.

Filthy vanguardist.

[Anonymous No.3349501]

>>3348383
/sci/ - Bitter Neckbeards with No Qualifications

[Anonymous No.3349510]

>>3349446
A man sits down in a bar and says "I'd like some H20."

A man next to him says "I'd like some H20 too"

The barman asks "Are you two faggots talking about water?"

[Anonymous No.3349520]

>on the train back from Edinburgh
>reading The Unseen by Nanni Balestrini
>drinking some Carling
>this girl comes up to and tells me how hawt I am and how I must be super smart.
>she says she likes books too
>I tell her I'm not interested. I just want to drink and read.
>she keeps talking about how she once read Joyce and it changed her world
>tell her to go annoy someone else.
>she says I'm a tease and grabs my phone from the table.
>she tells me she put her number in my phone under cutiepie.
>shrug at her, get up and say this is my stop
>she says I should call her
>I get off the train and delete the number for cutie pie
>Are you sure you want to delete cutie pie
>Yes

Pic related but prettier and less slutty

[Anonymous No.3349526]

>>3349520
>humour

[Anonymous No.3349537]

>>3349510
It reminds me of this guy in America, who got the residents of a small town to sign a petition banning Dihydrogen Monoxide(H20) in the towns water supply.

[Anonymous No.3349548]

>>3349526
Not getting the postmodern ironic humour of this post.
This is why /lit/ drove away the tripfags

[Anonymous No.3349554]

>>3349520
2/10
Didn't laugh, visibly cringed.

[Anonymous No.3349576]

>>3349520
>goto a jazz bar for a quiet drink
>as i'm there reading Naked Lunch a girl sits next to me and says the book cover looks interesting what am i reading
>trying to restrain myself i engage in polite conversation and ask her how she is
>she laughs and said she woke up this morning feeling like a black American rapper or something??? i didn't really get it.
>we go back on the subject of Naked Lunch and she says she loved it
>wow it's one of my favourites too! what did you think?
>oh you know i loved it, like how he just like wrote it and stuff and like how it's like a heroin addicts diary and like stuff? you know?
>i don't fucking know. my head is reeling at her contant use of the word 'like'
>smile politely and tell her i loved the non-linear style, ask her what she thought of it, combined with the 'cut-up' sections
>she says she doesn't know what linear is
>at this monent i begin to heammorage internally and excuse myself to the bathroom
>in the creepy blue neon i try and steady myself but manage to vomit out of sheer disgust.
>wiping my mouth i leave the bathroom and begin talking to her again
>she comments on how Burroughs really pushed the boundaries with his book and she's surprised it still isn't banned and thinks it should be
>i ask her why it should be censored
>she says it's immoral
>i grab an eraser from my pocket and push it into her mouth
>she just keeps chewing and trying to speak, her eyes have a glassy look and the trimmings from the eraser are just getting everywhere
>stand up and go to the dance foor, grab a lonely looking guy and sit him in my place
>she hasn't stopped talking
>sit him there give him my drink and leave
>roam the streets looking to score some heroin but because this jazz bar is in the nice part of town i couldn't get any
>give up and go home

>pic related, it's what she looked like, only she was prettier and less slutty.

[Anonymous No.3349656]

[Anonymous No.3349687]

Derrida uses language to showcase his ideas.

[Anonymous No.3349805]

>>3346696
it's kind of what great literature is supposed to do, except that the audience actually has the opportunity to interact with and ask him questions.

[Anonymous No.3349806]

>>3347052
>more substance than the other ones
are you shitting me

[Anonymous No.3349843]

>>3349576
9/10

[Anonymous No.3349846]

>>3349576
Man you sound like a lifeless, boring old pretentious sod.

[Anonymous No.3349852]

>>3349687
14/7, I chuffawled.

[Anonymous No.3349863]

[Anonymous No.3349891]

>>3349846

haha you have no fucking clue. please leave.

[Anonymous No.3349919]

>>3349687
Genuinely the best thread this board has seen.

[Anonymous No.3352072]

lets continue shall we?

[Anonymous No.3352075]

[Anonymous No.3352087]

http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/3072884

Thread of the year 2012.

[Anonymous No.3352095]

>>3352087
>one guy spams random crap
>for days

[Anonymous No.3352099]

>>3352095
2deep4u?

[Anonymous No.3352103]

>>3352099
2offtopic4me

[Anonymous No.3352104]

>>3352103
>/lit/
>on topic

Let's be honest, if it wasn't for the thin veneer of literature on top of all of our threads, everyone would see that we're just as off-topic as /sp/ is.

[Anonymous No.3352108]

>>3352104
Because shitheads like you refuse to post on-topic

[Anonymous No.3352123]

Let's keep it on topic folks

[Sunhawk !M9PhF5nIzs No.3352139]

>head to the library to work on my short story
>finish that motherfucker but head home to edit/proof read
>fuck it im gonna grab myself a smoothie from this smoothie bar and enjoy the motherfucking glorious weather we english masterrace are having
>sit down and whip out my kindle to read 'the things they carried' by Tim O'Brien
>girl sits next to me on grass and asks what im holding
>tell her i'm holding the future
>she says she wanted to get a Nook
>tell her to grow the fuck up and get a Kindle.
>she laughs shrilly and tells me i'm funny
>im laying down and she lays on my chest to see what the screen is like
>kinda weirded out so tell her to move
>says she was sorry
>it's okay.
>getting annoyed now because i have some reading to continue>tells me she's currently reading the Canterbury tales
>ask her how it is
>really easy i got a modern translation so i think it mak-
>cut her off there with a swift slap to the face
>tell her that she's a fucking failed abortion for reading a god damn translation
>she starts to tear up a little
>chill out, slut.
>she says she's sorry and i say it's fine
>fuck this i'm getting out of here
>try to leave and she follows me to the bus stop>gets on the bus with me
>starts talking about her favourite book which is some piece of feminist shit
>>get the homeless man to switch seats with me for some spare change and a red elastic band
>tell her i'm leaving but my friend is here
>gives me her number and tells me to text her
>feel something rising in my throat
>open Homeless Jim's bag and vomit into it
>leave and come home

[Anonymous No.3352230]

>>3346676
I haven't laughed that hard in over a year. 2013's off to a good start.

[Anonymous No.3352241]

>>3345050
...
>>"two thousand and twelve,"I tell everyone

I'm dying here.

[Anonymous No.3352253]

>>3346676
Oh good Christ.

[Anonymous No.3352274]

>>3352139
Oh Sunhawk.

At least you're trying.

[Anonymous No.3352276]

>>3347372
Ice. Cold.

[Anonymous No.3352287]

>>3348383
>http://www.amazon.com/The-Story-of-Johnny-ebook/dp/B009HK9820
>nothing

[Anonymous No.3352291]

[Anonymous No.3352307]

>>3352274
I actually kind of liked the bit where he slapped her unprovoked. Good timing.

[Anonymous No.3352308]

>>3352072

[Anonymous No.3352321]

>>3352072
>>3352308
lol.

[Anonymous No.3352348]

>>3348393
HUE

[Anonymous No.3352537]

>>3352308

[Anonymous No.3352563]

>>3345198
>Golden retriever with a spot.
>Immersion ruined.

[Anonymous No.3352591]

>>3345050
I sort of wish this could happen in real life.

[Anonymous No.3352612]

>>3345249
Remember that guy who only did greentext threads about how he was trying to read in a bar and some girl ust kept talking at him?

Yeah, fuck him

[Anonymous No.3352624]

>>3346352
It's 4chan way o speaking applied to a really american and one sided "well writen" argument about the basis of post-modern philosophy.It's funny because it talks about being jew and dieing of aids.

[Anonymous No.3352636]

>>3346668
They make them read books in highschoolso they read up to ten times what most middle class families read in the 1900. Stop complaining about shit.

[Anonymous No.3352698]

[Anonymous No.3352706]

[Anonymous No.3352711]

>>3352706

that is priceless

[Anonymous No.3352723]

>>3352612

but those brownbear threads were hilarious, anon.

i even miss tybrax ;-;

[Anonymous No.3352731]

>>3347041
I keepmost shit like ketchup, mayo, salsa, cream,etc in the fridge. If it isn't solid it doesn'tget a lot of trust from me.

[Anonymous No.3352733]

[Anonymous No.3352745]

>>3347090
Non english speaker here, when you talk of third level you're talking about the themes or am I just adding levels or you're using a specific nomeclature or what?

[Anonymous No.3352759]

>>3347153
It is and tumblr is a place where you can find interesting pencilers and different styles of art.
But people around here tend to think that trolls about feminism are real to the point where they repeat their ideas without a trolling intention-

[Anonymous No.3352765]

>>3352745
Us native english speakers dont know what he's talking about either.

[Anonymous No.3352814]

>>3352723
It was mostly a certain era in /lit/ I didn't get really mad back then but I didn't enjoy those things either. It was a thing, and no it isn't a thing anymore.

[Anonymous No.3352872]

>>3349919
link?

[Anonymous No.3352912]

>>3352872
http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S1579810#p1580999
The very post in question.

[Anonymous No.3353221]

let's keep it alive

[Anonymous No.3353389]

[Anonymous No.3353916]

>>3346676
>My house contains a kitchen, two bathrooms, a lliving room, a dining room, three bedrooms, and a basement

[Anonymous No.3353997]

>>3352912
>http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S1579810#p1580999

that reminds me what happened to d&e ?

[Anonymous No.3354055]

>>3353389
Non-english speaker here, what is that supposed to mean?

[Anonymous No.3354060]

>>3353997

I peed in his mouth. He choked and died. RIP D&E.

[Anonymous No.3354067]

>>3354055
He's taking a shit

[Anonymous No.3354076]

>>3354055
"Pinch a loaf" is a low-brow way of referring to taking a shit, not unlike "dropping the kids off at the pool."

American culture is full of inane shit like this.

[Anonymous No.3354087]

>>3354076
Ah, I see.
Thank you.
Are all of his books with wordplays like that one?

[Anonymous No.3354105]

[Anonymous No.3354113]

>>3354087
That photo was made by a Family Guy fan. It has very little to do with Pynchon's works.

[Anonymous No.3354246]

There was a pretty amazing one with puns based on writers names a little while ago

[Anonymous No.3354749]

>>3345205
Does anyone have the original about the atheist teacher? fucking hysterical.

[Anonymous No.3354757]

>>3354749
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

[cont. No.3354760]

>>3354757
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

[2deep4throat No.3356826]

>>3352765
>>3352745

he propably talking about the level of abstraction. But the implication of discrete levels is bullshit

[Anonymous No.3356839]

>>3354757

>smirked quite jewishly

every single time

[Anonymous No.3356840]

>>3354246
That thread was quite a Marvell

[Anonymous No.3356866]

"Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather
on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed, and the gunslinger followed."

[Anonymous No.3356877]

>>3356826
No, no I'm not. American Psycho involves the clear demarcation of potential readings via Bateman's own crisis. Tutorial services cost $12000 for the first hour, and the other 12 hours are free.

[Anonymous No.3356889]

>>3354076
>inane shit like this

"For us Germans, defecating is a merely functional thing, but for you Americans, it is the birthplace of an entire kultur!"

[Anonymous No.3356924]

>>3356889


HOME ECONOMICS

[Anonymous No.3357065]

>>3356889

There is a Zizek lecture somewhere in which he talks about the implications of shiting in german, french and english/american philosophical traditions.

[Anonymous No.3357084]

>>3357065
Yes, but there is a Blackadder joke (BA goes forth) where this point is made.

[Anonymous No.3357110]

>>3346360

Where the hell is this from? Please I need to know.

[Anonymous No.3357117]

>>3346360
Dem 90s pants and belt.

[Anonymous No.3357126]

>>3352241
>>"two thousand and twelve,"I tell everyone
every tim

[Anonymous No.3357138]

>>3357110
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YXfGxixeug

He is dancing to this song.

[Anonymous No.3357141]

>>3352095
It's not random crap, I'm surprised you don't see that.

[Anonymous No.3357143]

>>3345205
I know I'm kind of"late" but this shit is so good.
And I actually use Foucault's genealogy as the basis of my methodology. Still, fun.

Only thing that bothers me is that Wittgenstein, at least implicitly threw away the analytic school after the linguistic turn.

[Anonymous No.3357148]

>>3357143
>And I actually use Foucault's genealogy as the basis of my methodology.
Best joke in this thread so far, I leaked pee.

[Anonymous No.3357157]

>>3352087
>"i could have been a chicken tender."
Laugh every time.

[Anonymous No.3357161]

>>3357143
He continuously and explicitly through away the analytic school.

[Anonymous No.3357169]

>>3357138
This one is much better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXiyCoMhAI4

[Anonymous No.3357180]

>>3357138

Good song

[Anonymous No.3357226]

>>3352087
Some of these are really good. Some are filler. The only thing not making this a complete masterwork are the people asking what's going on.

[Anonymous No.3357233]

>>3357226
Some people need to go back to >>>/fyad/

[Anonymous No.3357275]

saw this one not long ago.

[Anonymous No.3357291]

>>3346668
Probably true...

[Anonymous No.3357322]

>>3357226

>look guys we are so elite nobody can understand our jokes! lol!

there's nothing clever about that thread, lolsorandum-tier humor.

[Anonymous No.3357326]

>>3357233

/lit/ probably the only board that remembers /fyad/

[Anonymous No.3357340]

>>3346676
I'm.. What.. It's.. What the hell?!

[Anonymous No.3357350]

>>3346699
GRRM is confused.. And sad.

[Anonymous No.3357527]

>>3357161
>through away

this thread is hilarious

[Anonymous No.3357667]

>>3346630
This made me so mad though

[Anonymous No.3357696]

>>3346676
I can't stop laughing

[Anonymous No.3357725]

>>3352274

its old copypasta, as are most/all the rest of the stories like that itt

[Anonymous No.3357726]

>>3349537
Oh yeah, my eighth grade science teacher showed us that one...most of the class fell for it too.

[Anonymous No.3357763]

>>3349919

dunno about that

"'No, you,' he said disturbingly calmly" was pretty fucking amazing:

http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S1213231

It seems like /lit/ was a lot more clever back then, but maybe that's dem rose colored glasses.

[Anonymous No.3357769]

>>3352087
I don't understand. Am I just a pleb looking 2deep into this?

[Anonymous No.3357772]

>>3357763
>http://fuuka.warosu.org/lit/thread/S1213231

haha i remember that. it was referenced for ages afterwards.

[Anonymous No.3357779]

Grammar jokes are always welcome.

Seen in a church: For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

[Anonymous No.3357819]

>>3345151

I thought we made fun of /sci/ to assuage bruised egos

[Anonymous No.3357840]

>>3357779
lel