/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3253778]

I'm in my first year of Uni, and I want to fuck one of my English Lit lecturers.

Is this possible? How would I go about doing this?

I'm female, he's male

[Anonymous No.3253780]

>>3253778
>I'm female, he's male

ALERT !!!
!!! WARNING !!!

OP IS PRETENTIOUS


!!! STAY OUT !!!

[Anonymous No.3253782]

>I'm female, he's male

there's your answer. unless you're obese or something

[Anonymous No.3253790]

I'd like to know this too. For future reference.
I'm male though.

[Anonymous No.3253791]

>>3253782
Yeah but this isn't like a fella in a club. I can't drunk drunkenly walk up to him and ask him to come back to mine.

How do you seduce an academic?

[Anonymous No.3253798]

If you're successful, there's a good chance he might lose his job. Just putting that out there.

I dunno if this'll be enough to curb your whorish lust, though.

[Anonymous No.3253799]

Don't do it OP. If he has any integrity or you aren't ridiculously hot he'll refuse, and the rest of your lectures will be awkward.

[Bullkowski !!DDFKjfJhPl/ No.3253801]

>>3253791
You give men too much credit in this field.

[Anonymous No.3253802]

I hate you.

[Anonymous No.3253804]

>>3253791
go to his office hours and casually work your way from harmless flirting to more pointed flirting.

of course, as it's December, I assume that you're a little late in the game to show up at his office in a subtle fashion

[Anonymous No.3253806]

>>3253798
Why though?

He's about 20-something, I'm 18, and come February he won't be one my lecturers anymore

[Anonymous No.3253808]

1. Wait until you've passed the class (next semester)
2. Send him an e-mail saying you'd like to get together for drinks to discuss some of the topics of the class

I thought women were supposed to have 'wiles'. You sound like an inept retard.

Sage because not even remotely related to literature.

[Anonymous No.3253811]

>>3253799
What if you fuck the teacher at the end of the semester? Sexual tension throughout the semester, fuck after/during finals, then never see her again.

[Anonymous No.3253812]

>>3253804
shit I should have done this ages ago

[Anonymous No.3253813]

>>3253806
>come February
oh, in that case refer to what I said here >>3253804

[Anonymous No.3253814]

>>3253808
this is an idea

yes I am an inept retard, but he has me hot and wet as the rainforest so I have to do something

[Anonymous No.3253816]

>>3253814
I could hold you over until you two get together

[Anonymous No.3253821]

>>3253816
do you have a phd

[Anonymous No.3253824]

>>3253821
i have a Phat Hard Dick.

[Anonymous No.3253826]

>>3253814
>hot and wet as the rainforest

I just want to point out that that was not at all as sexy as you thought it was.

[Anonymous No.3253828]

>>3253824
>Phat

[Anonymous No.3253830]

>>3253824
>>3253826

[Anonymous No.3253831]

>>3253826

My erect penis disputes your claim.

[Anonymous No.3253833]

>>3253826
it's not meant to be sexy. I'm full of disgusting primal desire

[Anonymous No.3253834]

>>3253826
I can't help it. I love 50 Shades of Grey, and this guy makes me as damp as a cellar.

[Anonymous No.3253836]

>>3253798


No fear of losing the job unless you can't wait/be discreet until after you're out of his class. Dated maybe two dozen students. as long as you're not responsible for their grade it's not even an issue.

If you want to approach him and suggest doing something, get a confederate (another girl or two who isn't into him and all of you ask him t6o do something collectively. Set them up to leave you alone with him after awhile. Or just ask for some office time and make sure it's late in the day and walk him to his car or whatever. I'm trying to think this from the other side and remember whats been used on me. Just getting an office hour right at the end of his office time and suggesting coffee has been used the most i guess.

[Anonymous No.3253838]

>>3253834
GET OUT OF HERE PHILISTINE

[Anonymous No.3253840]

>>3253834
>I love 50 Shades of Grey
Just tell taht English professor that

[Anonymous No.3253844]

Don't let Lomax find out. Good luck.

[Anonymous No.3253858]

>>3253844
this guy

[Anonymous No.3253869]

Go to bed, Marie Calloway.

[Anonymous No.3253871]

>>3253834
You should tell him that right as you're about to get it on. I want to see the effect of pleb-tier taste on the erectile function of a literature professor.

[Anonymous No.3253877]

>tfw this is half the reason you're getting a PhD
>tfw bitches like prestige and authority figures

[Anonymous No.3253879]

>>3253798
That's the reason I've never pursued my favorite (and extremely hot) English professor. It would be pretty selfish to risk him losing his job. I don't even openly flirt with him because it could cause him trouble in the office, even though it burns a hole in my skull to do so sometimes. I figure if it is meant to be, then we'll get together after I've graduated.

These are the kinds of things that make one an adult, in my opinion. These kind of things. Delayed gratification has matured me more than anything else.

Don't destroy his life over your desires. Go home and masturbate and move on.

[Anonymous No.3253897]

>>3253877
>not getting a PhD purely so you can stand up in restaurants when someone asks "is there a doctor in here? this guy's fainted" and proceed to provide a detailed critique on the value of this scene in a literary context while the poor young man's life ebbs away before your eyes

[Anonymous No.3253900]

>>3253879

Guys. I have the faculty handbook right here: "You are to assume that your students are adults and grant them the right to make adult decisions. Bearing this in mind, any physical relationship or dalliance with a student who is under your care, enrolled in your courses or pursuing a course of study under your direction will be considered evidence of moral turpitude provided the personal relationship was not in existence previous to the academic one."

I've dated my students and even married one of them. And half the faculty here are married to former students.

[Anonymous No.3253902]

Some horny hipsters in here.

[Anonymous No.3253903]

>>3253900
yeah, but where are you located? it's not like that everywhere, certainly.

[Anonymous No.3253907]

>>3253900
>will be considered evidence of moral turpitude
>half the faculty here are married to former students

Why have a faculty handbook if the entire faculty disregards it? The person who made that handbook must be really fucking unhappy that everyone's ignoring it. They probably cry to themselves at night.

[Anonymous No.3253909]

Former English lecturer now working in the UK government here.

I had sex with two female students in the four years I was a lecturer.

Saw one of them as I was walking home from campus and she pulled up in her car and offered me a lift.

The other one kept smiling at me throughout the seminars I held and emailed me incessantly asking about secondary literature and office meetings etc. One day I thought 'fuck it' and put my hand on her leg and we ended up making out and she came back to my flat a bunch of times before I got my new job in a different city.

Just make it obvious OP

[Anonymous No.3253912]

He'll stop you if it's not, it's a fairly common occurence.

[Anonymous No.3253914]

>>3253840
I actually brought it up in a discussion about Female guilt in 18th century lit.

THe other girls all say they think he's hot too. I just can't help it every time I get an email from him I get as clammy as a corpse in a snowstorm

[Anonymous No.3253915]

>>3253897
>your witness testimony is written in heroic verse

[Anonymous No.3253916]

This thread is making me want to become a professor.

I knew they were shagging all the bitches. I knew it.

[Anonymous No.3253917]

>>3253914
please stop with your fucking godawful similes.

[Anonymous No.3253918]

>>3253917
DO NOT STOP WITH THE SIMILES.
I'm halfway there

[Anonymous No.3253923]

>>3253918
>/lit/ getting hard over a clammy corpse in a sexy professor thread.
well, I guess I can stop singing the praises of my own restraint now.

[Anonymous No.3253924]

>>3253877
yeah, Ph.D gets you respect among most average people.

[Anonymous No.3253928]

>tfw getting gr8 grades but have no desire to pursue a phd despite the copious amounts of fresh, bald vaginas that may appear as a reward

[Anonymous No.3253930]

>>3253907
the keyword is "former". You really will get in trouble if you can't either wait or keep it under wraps until the grades are in.

>>3253916

We really, really are. And it's great because there are always new opportunities as the old ones either get tired of you or graduate. Every semester there are several prospects. And yes, just make it obvious.

I'm in Lexington Kentucky, by the way.

[Anonymous No.3253940]

History proffesor here, started my job this year.

Oh my god. I was always shy and withdrawn in highschool (and college pretty much) and pretty much felt patronized by women.

Now whenever I mention I teach class they get so insistent for me to explain what I teach and say they "love a man with ambition" etc. I've had sex with four girls, but stopped abruptly after getting caught by a fellow proffesor making out with one. He was a bro though and said he used to do that back in the day. He even married a former student, and there's like a 15 year age gap there lol

[Anonymous No.3253943]

what a shitty thread

[Anonymous No.3253955]

>>3253940
> proffesor

[Anonymous No.3253957]

>>3253940
Worst fake story ever.

[Anonymous No.3253964]

>you will never be used sexually by a man twice your age who treats you like his daughter

[Anonymous No.3253967]

>>3253964
*I'm a guy btw

[Anonymous No.3253978]

>>3253964
My first time was with my English teacher (female) in HS--I was 18, and she was 42 or so. It wasn't all I'd hoped.

[Anonymous No.3253984]

>>3253978
elaborate your story pls

[Anonymous No.3253995]

OP I'm a TA, I'd stick my em dash into your parentheses if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.3254000]

you will love the way he thinks and love his maturity, you will fall for his charisma and it will make you feel above your classmates, by liking an older man and not someone your age you will feel that you yourself are becoming a mature person, then time will pass, you will either end up taking the first step, fucking him and and either he will break up with you because he needs to be with someone who is actually mature and independent, a WOMAN not a female on /lit/ not a girl, either you will break up with him and find a cute guy your age who can offer a stable relationship OR you will forget about this pathetic and oh so old crush story. will move on, have kids and forget about it and call yourself a naive idiot and maybe write a fanfic or erotic story based on this. Then you'll die, but that's another story.

[Anonymous No.3254004]

>>3254000
So many mistakes, oh well, as long as you get the message.

[Anonymous No.3254014]

>>3253995
> hyphen
FTFY

[Anonymous No.3254015]

>>3253995
That feel when en dash. I'll still stick it in your colon, though.

[Anonymous No.3254021]

Well, I guess I should contribute as I am one of the poor few female browsers in this board, and happen to be in university as well.

Last year, I found myself sexually attracted to a Phd researcher of the laboratory of anthropology, who happened to be a vacatory teacher of methodology as well.
I remember very clearly that he had left a few hints among colloquial work-related conversations that he might be interested in my person in an intimate way.
However, I could not maintain a regular presence to his course due to personal matters, and had very few occasions to see him.
From the tale of a collegue, who participated in the last course day, she mentioned to have witnessed him expressing his anger at my absence. Afterwards, I received the unpleasant surprise to see that I was granted a very mediocre grade from him, despite it being a common work project rendered by my friend and I; not to mention that my friend had received a much higher grade, perhaps to the honor of her regular participation in the course.
A few weeks later, I was able to give back the same work, not a single word edited from it, to the second examination session, who happened to be corrected by a upper-year teacher.
I received a high grade, fourth time greater than the precedent.
The moral of this story, is that professional and personal relationships are often demarcated by a fine line. The irony is that the methodology course was titled " Professional and Personal Project "...

A year passed, and I happened to meet him again at a student-teacher formal gathering. I caught him glaring intensely at me for quite a while, which I chose to disregard for I had no desire whatsoever anymore to engage in any kind of relationship again.

Thoug, he was hot.

[Anonymous No.3254036]

>>3253984
Too busy to say much about it, sorry. #1 unsexy fact: she got pregnant the first time we had sex, and had a miscarriage. #2: I cheated on my girlfriend to have sex with my teacher, then had sex with my gf for the first time just weeks later (and it was so much better, too).

[Anonymous No.3254096]

>>3253798
A good number of colleges and universities have no restrictions between teacher-student relations

[Anonymous No.3254103]

>>3254021
>as well
>could not maintain
>occasions
>tale of a collegue
>witnessed him expressing
etc.

Why is your post written in police officer report style?

[Anonymous No.3254112]

>>3254103
gotta make use of that degree somehow, you know?

[Anonymous No.3254121]

>>3253778
>I want to make fuck with the professor, right under the Ph.D he keeps framed above his bed. Ooohhh, just thinking about his gofer visiting my weasel hole makes me dank as a crypt after a flash flood. God, his long slender neck, and those dreamy beady eyes behind horn-rimmed glasses greases my turbines like nothing else. I want his stern red marker correcting the inside of my uterus. Low tide has found the marshlands, and Prof. McGrum has found the key to my heart

[Anonymous No.3254190]

>>3254121

[Anonymous No.3254347]

>>3254021
lovely excuse for not going to fucking class. whatev.

[Anonymous No.3254351]

>>3254121
>vomit on my keyboard, jizz in my drawers
goodbye, dignity, I flushed you down the internet.

[Anonymous No.3254358]

>>3253791
Academic here. Every year there are fresh eighteen year olds. You're all boring to us, it'd be like fucking a toddler.

[Anonymous No.3254359]

>>3253778

In my first year at university, I fell for my Spanish teacher.

I ended up marrying the fucking bitch, so be warned.

Later I became a university teacher myself, but I only fucked one student a year, and I never let it get serious.

[fuck you all No.3254364]

read stoner

thats it

[Anonymous No.3254378]

>>3254358

You don't have fuck-a-fresher week?

Although I confess I used to always restrict myself to the third years.

[Anonymous No.3254387]

>>3254358
Yeah, that's why guys in their thirties don't masturbate to each years new crop of eighteen year old porn stars.

Also, > babyfuckitsallriiiiight.jpg

[Anonymous No.3254416]

>>3254387
>eighteen year old porn stars.

I always thought they were for the younger gents, tbh. I'm pretty aged, and I can't bear the really young porno chickies. I think they provide the MILFs for us old fellas.

[Anonymous No.3254426]

>>3254416
I don't know, Burma Shave, I thought MILFs were for the young guys with attachment issues. I definitely still go for the early-20s-types, but perhaps I've watched too much anime.

[Anonymous No.3254435]

>>3254121

>Low tide has found the marshlands, and Prof. McGrum has found the key to my heart.

10/10

[Anonymous No.3254436]

Itt: we pretend teachers get all the pussy.

[Anonymous No.3254440]

>>3254426
>Burma Shave

I don't know what that means, but I like the way the words go together. I may adopt it as my pen-name for when I start writing erotic fiction for the elderly.

[Anonymous No.3254448]

>>3253897
>>3253915
lel'd heartily

>EVERYONE CALM DOWN
>WHAT WE ARE WITNESSING IS THE "DEATH" QUA DEATH OF THE AUTHOR BEFORE OUR VERY EYES

and later

>... all color drained from his cheeks...

[Anonymous No.3254455]

>>3254121

[Anonymous No.3254460]

>>3254436

Actually, when you get to the university level, it's true. It even becomes embarassing. You have young women, away from home for the first time, eager to experience adulthood, but still somewhat attached to home. Their lecturers become a kind of father-figure who embodies safety, while still being the educator who is opening their mind to new ideas in a way their parents never did. Add to this the fact that students usually live in dreadful hovels with no money, and a lecturer usually has a decent apartment (decent=central heating and a separate, unshared kitchen in this context), then the attractions mount up.

Girls having a crush on their teachers is nothing unusual.

A white teacher with Japanese students needs a fucking chaperone with them at all times, because it just starts to get stupid.

[Anonymous No.3254464]

>>3254440
I'd support you in that endeavor. But I christened you with that nickname because I thought you were the older guy who quoted some Burma Shave doggerel the other day, as a way of demonstrating how inconceivably old he was. (Viz. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma-Shave#Roadside_billboards))

[Anonymous No.3254473]

>>3254460
I knew a few ugly-as-fuck profs who were constantly surrounded by mooning freshchicks. Perhaps not coincidentally, the profs were of the harsh/authoritarian-but-with-soft-side variety.

> A white teacher with Japanese students needs a fucking chaperone with them at all times, because it just starts to get stupid.
Fuck me if I didn't just consider leaving it all behind to teach in Japan.

[Anonymous No.3254479]

>>3254473
>Fuck me if I didn't just consider leaving it all behind to teach in Japan.

The irony is that I don't even find Japanese/oriental girls particularly atractive (not a racism thing, I just like tall, blonde euro wimminz) so I didn't even get it wet.

You don't need to go to Japan, btw - they're more uninhibited when they come to summer schools in europe/US. Daddy can't find out what they're up to and demand they commit seppuku for their moral laxity.

[Anonymous No.3254487]

Fuck off you dumb bitch

[Anonymous No.3254491]

>>3254487

You're 5 hours too late.

[Anonymous No.3254496]

>>3254491
But we welcome his contribution anyway. Bravo, anon!

[Anonymous No.3254500]

>>3253824

That was glorious.

[Anonymous No.3254515]

>>3254460
well fuck me. what do neighbors think when they see a parade of nubile hotties marching through your apt door? I know how fucking nosy amerifat neighbors are.

[Anonymous No.3254530]

>>3254515

I told you that I limited myself to one a year because otherwise the missus would doubtless find out and slice off my genitals.

It's OK to cheat on Spanish women, just don't let them fucking catch you is my advice. I've got a knife scar half way up my right arm to prove it.

[Anonymous No.3254542]

>>3254440

the burma shave thing is probably because of me. I posted a part of a burma shave jingle to demonstrate my age.

[Anonymous No.3254556]

>>3254542

Consarn it. Now I can't use it as my pen-name. Dagnabbit, I'll have to stick with Brock Twist.

[Anonymous No.3254558]

>>3254530
So why are Spanish women different to cheat on than other women? Also, how old are you and what is the youngest you've gone? What has the biggest age gap been, and how are they in bed?

Be explicit

[Anonymous No.3254567]

>>3254556


You could be Brylcreme; a little dab'll do ya!

[Anonymous No.3254593]

>>3254567

Nah, Brylcreem was the name we gave to the wankstains in the RAF when I was in the Army. I'm not having that.

>>3254558

Spanish women are no more difficult/easy to cheat on. They just tend to stab you more when they catch you at it. Biggest age gap between me and a mistress/whatevs was 14 years.

These days, young women are far more uninhibited in bed because of all the porn they grow up with and all the filthy things their porn-fixated boyfriends make them do. When they get with an older guy, they get their freak on, then are very appreciative of the experienced touch. I can't complain.

[Anonymous No.3254601]

>>3254593
you didn't say how old you were. But here's the key question... are they hot? be honest now, no need to lie about your internet penis size

[Anonymous No.3254610]

>>3254542
Hey Burma Shave! How ya doing? Twenty-three skidoo!

[Anonymous No.3254613]

>>3254593

I have a thirty two year age gap with my current sweetie. and the girl that set me up with her is a year younger than her.

[Anonymous No.3254618]

>>3254610

Notary Sojack. I've been worse

[Anonymous No.3254620]

>>3254601
>you didn't say how old you were.

Currently 40.

> But here's the key question... are they hot?

Some are, some are less so. The last mistress I had was sensational, but she did a number on my head, and I'm currently being a good boy and having a nervous breakdown and hiding.

Any more personal questions? They make me feel super-special.

[Anonymous No.3254629]

>>3254620
Nope. That'll be all.

[Anonymous No.3254633]

>>3254613

>my gf is only six years old. The five year old I was fucking before died of internal haemmoraging.

[Anonymous No.3254637]

>>3254629

Aww. I felt like I was on the Terry Wogan show for a moment there. Now I'm just a schmuck again.

[Anonymous No.3254650]

>>3254558
..Stanley Williams?

[Anonymous No.3254668]

>>3253834
>damp as a cellar
ewww
eww
ewwww

[Anonymous No.3254687]

>>3254620
>Some are, some are less so. The last mistress I had was sensational, but she did a number on my head, and I'm currently being a good boy and having a nervous breakdown and hiding.

hot.

[Anonymous No.3255754]

> tfw you're a virgin

[Anonymous No.3255770]

>Meanwhile we see what order of business carries on at the universities

[Anonymous No.3255782]

>>3253778
If I were a woman, I wouldn't wear a bra or panties to class, and a little white dress. Then I would pull a Basic Instinct

[Anonymous No.3255784]

>>3253824
Damn. Haven't laughed all day. Thanks, mate.

[Anonymous No.3255785]

>>3253824

[Anonymous No.3255797]

>>3253836
why has this completely useful advice been ignored?

[Anonymous No.3255798]

>>3254378
>You don't have fuck-a-fresher week?
>Although I confess I used to always restrict myself to the third years.

mvq. This is obviously why "bio-politics" is in style. Third years dude, Third years…

>Yeah, that's why guys in their thirties don't masturbate to each years new crop of eighteen year old porn stars.

Yeah, and the best kind of porn is vegetative state barely legal.

[Anonymous No.3255806]

>>3255770
I know, fucking post-modernists.

[Anonymous No.3255808]

>>3255770
Just arts students.

[Anonymous No.3255811]

This is the most responses a thread on this board has gotten in months.

[Anonymous No.3255814]

>>3255811
Everyone likes to fuck.

[Anonymous No.3255815]

>>3255811
>119 replies
>mfw a thread got 175 replies yesterday >>3250658
>mfw this happens all the time

[Anonymous No.3255822]

3DPD: words to build your academic career by.

[Anonymous No.3255824]

When I am in power I'll make it illegal to talk about sex

[Anonymous No.3255825]

>TFW you visit /lit/ for the first time because you were hoping to find some good recommendations because you're just about finished rereading the Hobbit yet again and by god you don't want to continue reading Here is Your War: Story of GI Joe and felt like reading more fiction since you're in a bad mood because of all the shit you're doing at Christmas so you figured there would probably be someone recommending good sci-fi or fantasy adventures and instead you find moist corpses in a cellar.

I should've expected it of 4chan, but damn.

[Anonymous No.3255833]

>>3255825
I was disappointed when his unfertilised abortion dripped out of me like a spoilt raspberry. Now I'll never get that High Distinction.

[Anonymous No.3255890]

>>3255825
>reading the hobbit ever

just admit it, Tolkien is a shitty, dry, long winded writer.

[Anonymous No.3255952]

>>3255890
Just admit it, you'd let a distinguished professor shit on your chest.

[Anonymous No.3255967]

>>3255952
Average /lit/ thread.

[Anonymous No.3255985]

>>3255798
>This is obviously why "bio-politics" is in style. Third years dude, Third years…

What does that even mean? Anbody?

[Anonymous No.3256109]

>>3255985
Anbody don't work here nomo'

[Anonymous No.3256111]

>this entire thread of horny college girls wanting to fuck their professors

[Anonymous No.3256150]

One of the students in one of my English Lit class actually married our professor.

[Anonymous No.3256522]

>>3254618
You're a treasure trove of antiquated memes, man. http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1902/whats-the-origin-of-notary-sojac

[Anonymous No.3256533]

>>3255833
>>3256111
>>3255825
>>3255811
If this could turn into a real "terrible sexual similes" thread, there'd be nothing to complain about.

> I want him to eat my snatch like a starving anteater dropped face-first into a giant bag of chocolate-covered army ants.

[Anonymous No.3256551]

Remember ladies, here's a list of what men look for in men.

If you can check off at least half the items, then you've got it.

[Anonymous No.3256558]

>>3253778
Eloquent textual discription of your appearance or gtfo.

[Anonymous No.3258862]

>>3253778
>I'm female, he's male
There's your answer. Have fun keeping the baby, telling the court he raped you and suing everybody for millions.

[Anonymous No.3258875]

>>3255797
>because you said two dozen students
>two dozen
>that's 24
>why 4chan for you?