/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3181636]

Let's write some one post stories, and complain about how shitty everyone else is at writing.

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3181653]

horny housewife number one reached for her terrorist manual. when her forefinger made contact with its lamiated pages she felt a jolt inside of her twat. "hmmm this will be a great day to make transcendent objects into nothingness" she said and proceded to arouse her boston terrier, through swift yet gentle strokes. suddenly, a lard crack was heard as the floorboards opened and her grandmother's engorged prostate writhed out from the depths of hell and started vibrating in mid-air. "what is this nameless eldtrich blashpemy?" said the horny housewife before she shat out the heir to the prussian throne. D. N.

[Anonymous No.3181658]

>>3181653
Go back to bed Stephenie Meyer.

[Anonymous No.3181663]

>>3181658
>implying she could write some thing that creative.

[Anonymous No.3181667]

>>3181653
bah gawd that is awful
>horny housewife number one
you made me regurgitate

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3181669]

>>3181663

>implying not Stephanie Meyer

go and sleep inside of your bed towelin

[Anonymous No.3181685]

>>3181667
It makes me wonder what happened to horny house wife number two, assuming there is another horny house wife. Why would she be number one if there were only one horny house wife?

This story has left more questions than answers. It is an excellent parody of modern female writing, and critiques the core dogma of romance stories aimed at women.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3181708]

>>3181697

I fucked up and now when I try to post it again chan thinks I'm spamming. Link above.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3181730]

>>3181708
I fucked up bad. I'll go away now and hope everybody forgets. I'm sorry. ;_; Fuck.

[Anonymous No.3181744]

>>3181730
Not bad. Not a fan of "switch out the wiring for better stuff." Sounds melodramatic

[Anonymous No.3181745]

OK, from OPs pic....

"What do we need it for? Do you want me to put it somewhere...pacific?"
"Just get the fucking wire," he said and glared at me. I got out of the truck, looked at the prairie, and turned to get my food and gloves. But all I got was a face full of dirt and the muffled thump of Alabama coming from the radio as it tore down the dirt road, no doubt headed for a fine drinking establishment.
Now, how the hell was I gonna take this barbed wire down without gloves? No food, either. It was already 10, and I wanted to get back to the house before the wolves came out.
Fuck me, he told me SIX strings, not five. I spent 4 weeks stringing wire on the fenceposts, and he told me SIX strings. So I put up six. Now one has to come down. What the hell is he going to do with that? And it's up already.....
I bit my lip and looked to the east, the fence posts repeating themselves endlessly down the border of his land. I looked west, and saw the same thing, except for a plume of dust as the truck sped away to cool drinks and hot tunes.
I went to the fence, squatted down and loooked at what a fine job I had done of securing the barbed wire to the post. Now it had to be undone. But which row?
Something hard under my boot, I kicked it away but heard a funny metallic sound and watched something shiny bounce away from me.

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3181754]

>>3181730

it's going to be ok.

[Anonymous No.3181768]

>>3181685
Would HHw #1 be the grandmother with the "engorged prostrate"?

[Anonymous No.3181777]

>>3181768

[Anonymous No.3181792]

>>3181768

[Anonymous No.3181815]

That night, when my son was tucked away in bed immersed in his hyper-speed slideshow, my wife and I shared his passion, dimming the lamp, I stared at my hands, "Why, why have you done this to me?" I looked to my wife, who was snored like an fairy, moments later I'd dropped off, but no later had I re-awoken, gasping, I glanced at my wife, then at my belly, prodding it a few times, it was sore, everything was, especially my balls.

[Anonymous No.3181837]

[Anonymous No.3181852]

>>3181815

>especially my balls
This made the ending anticlimactic.

>was snored like an fairy
Horrible.

>hyper-speed slideshow
>shared his passion
>snored like an fairy
>dropped off
Too much unnecessary and fancy words to say "sleeping".

Conclusion: it's shit.

[Anonymous No.3181859]

>>3181653
Louis Wain's illustrations won't make your shitty writing less shitty, you hipster cunt.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3181871]

>>3181708
I think I'm going to turn this into a full story, maybe as a short between books. Thanks, Opie!

>>3181744
"Switch out the bits"? "Switch out the stuff"? I'll see. The guy's not supposed to be sure what to be scared about, he's just got to have the suspicion that something's wrong.

>>3181754
Thanks, Satan. Turns out /lit/ really is the sweetest part of 4chan.

[Anonymous No.3181892]

A friend of mine, the ugly and skinny daughter of a Jesuit, died in an earthquake. Her butler was inconsolable; he shouted at me and blamed me for not being able to save her. Kneeling at the debris, I did the first thing it occurred to me; I lied and told him I was part of a very powerful secret society. He knew, then, that I had powers beyond the human scope. He calmed down and told me that, in order to bring her back, I needed to find a strange tome in Mussolini’s library. I was hopeless because I knew that Mussolini was nearly illiterate.

[Anonymous No.3181896]

>>3181892

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3181902]

>>3181745
>Do you want me to put it somewhere...pacific?"

Don't think the ellipses are necessary.

>I got out of the truck, looked at the prairie, and turned to get my food and gloves.

Listing a succession of motions like this has always bothered me. Maybe you could try:

"I got out of the truck and looked at the prairie. When I turned to get my food and gloves, all I got was a face full of dirt and the muffled thump of Alabama coming from the radio as it tore down the dirt road."

>Now, how the hell was I gonna

Your writing, but "gonna" and such are more acceptable in the speech than the narration. If yer gonna go this way, ya shud try ta commit ta it more.

>before the wolves came out.

No. You're ending with a preposition.

>Fuck me,

Fuck me! He told me ...

>I spent 4 weeks stringing wire on the fenceposts, and he told me SIX strings.

I had spent ...

>Now one has to come down. What the hell is he going to do with that? And it's up already.....

You use too many words to express really simple ideas. It drags the story down and irritates your readers. Focus on trimming down thoughts, even if they're your characters thoughts and he's naturally long-winded.

>I bit my lip and looked to the east, the fence posts repeating themselves endlessly down the border of his land.

Forgot what this is called, but "I bit ... the east" has to related to the subject of the second part of the sentence. What does biting your lip and the east have to do with the fence posts? There's no logical connection. It's sloppy English.

You list successive motions a lot. "I did X, Y, and Z." Try not to do that much.

[Anonymous No.3181905]

>>3181852
>>3181859
Heh, I think I overused the insults. Don't feel directly attacked, OP said we could tell us off, so I hope I didn't hurt any sensibilities.

[Anonymous No.3181918]

>>3181892
Almost reads like a shitty Umberto Eco. Congratulations

[Anonymous No.3181924]

>>3181653
I actually laughed at this. Not bad. It almost seemed like the typos were intentional. Are you Joyce?

[Anonymous No.3181937]

>>3181902
OK, thanks. Interesting, good observation. Obviously I wrote this in about 2 minutes at my desk at work but it still points to a habit I may have and will look over my other stuff for that.
"I bit my lip, looking down the long line of fenceposts standing guard along a border no one cares about, and found myself considering a new line of work."
I still don't know what biting my lip has to do with the line of fence posts, other than it is the reaction the posts cause in the narrator.
I will pay more attention when describing a series of actions. I guess I was thinking those sort of actions are boring so just list them almost like stage directions. Thanks again.

[Anonymous No.3181967]

>>3181924
I'm sure he's doing all that on purpose; his punctuation is flawless, and yet, he doesn't capitalize.
This is the true Internet-breed literature; full of scatology, obscene freaks and weirdos, absurd sex descriptions and pop-culture references.
I wonder if there are whole books written in that style. My country (a Spanish speaking country) doesn't keep up with the "postmodern" trends and shit.

I like those stories, but I always imagine a dirty hipster writing them.

[Anonymous No.3181984]

"These man butt cheeks sure are making me thirsty," Bruce says.
"Just put some sauce on 'em consenting homosexual partner," Kyle replies.
Bruce stands and minces to the kitchen. A yellow dildoe, held in place by his muscular o-ring, flaps merrily against the back of his thighs. Kyle giggles and carves a few more slices for himself from the ass centerpiece and puts them on his plate.
"We really need to do this more often," Kyle says.
"Honey bear," Bruce sings, "There's no more sauce."
"Now that's what i call conflict!"
Laughter fills the well decorated room. The man whose ass is sticking through the table's center, weeps and tries to cry out through his ball gag wondering how to remove the binds or at least to avoid getting kicked in the face while the two play footsie under the table.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3181987]

>>3181967
>full of scatology, obscene freaks and weirdos, absurd sex descriptions and pop-culture references.

Heard of Chuck Palahniuk?

[Anonymous No.3182016]

>>3181987

Except that Chuck actually has some sort of coherence, it is in some way linear and there are central themes. Stan's is a pastiche of surreal imagery, word play and philosophical mood, well written, yet intentionally devoid of coherence and lacking in metanarrative. This is much more typical of post-modernism than Palahniuk.

[Anonymous No.3182031]

>>3181987
here's a short story borrowing from Chuck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WYlfHvlFww
read very well

[Anonymous No.3182032]

With thee conversing I forget all time,
All seasons and their change, all please alike.
Sweet is the breath of morn, her rising sweet,
With charm of earliest birds; pleasant the sun
When first on this delightful land he spreads
His orient beams, on herb, tree, fruit, and flower,
Glistering with dew; fragrant the fertile earth
After soft showers; and sweet the coming on
Of grateful evening mild, then silent night
With this her solemn bird and this fair moon,
And these the gems of heav'n, her starry train:
But neither breath of morn when she ascends
With charm of earliest birds, nor rising sun
On this delightful land, nor herb, fruit, flower,
Glistring with dew, nor fragrance after showers,
Nor grateful evening mild, nor silent night
With this her solemn bird, nor walk by moon,
Or glittering starlight without thee is sweet.

[Anonymous No.3182120]

>>3182032
It's pretty good! But that's not exactly a story.
Also, you didn't write it, Milton did.
You're still shit.

[Anonymous No.3182169]

There are six men in an elevator.
One of them is the devil.

[Anonymous No.3182174]

>>3182120

what do you mean im still shit?

this would imply a continuance regarding a quality of 'shittiness', but such a claim is unwarranted since you are lacking the primary frame of reference. ie. show me where ive been shit in the past, and we'll take it from there.

[llllll !!0q37uQK5Rgl No.3182442]

Jeff was fucking this chick in her room, banging her really damn hard up against the wall. Then she said, "Fuck my asshole" and he freaked out and left. He always had issues with shit and asses. Between the ages of six and fourteen he never wiped his ass, in case he got shit on his hands. Now, aged fifteen, he wipes for more than ten minutes. Six squares of toilet roll is his minimum. Panting outside the door to her room, the sound of the slammed door resonating spiritually in his ears, he walked back inside.

[Anonymous No.3182450]

>>3182174
I think he means, you're still shit despite plagarizing Milton.

The fact that you typed something that Milton wrote is not enough to relieve you of the title: shit.

[Anonymous No.3182466]

I wake up masturbating. It is the third time this week.I do remember dreaming prior to this, but to my continued disbelief, it wasn't sexual. I was dreaming that I was at the DMV line and the large African woman was telling me that my driving test had to be postponed due to inclement weather. She kept repeating the words 'inclement weather' and tilting her head the way black women do, as if to say "You better recognize". I always got confused as to what exactly I was supposed to recognize, I generally assumed it was their sass, though most of the time this seemed obvious and should have went without saying. The sass I did recognize and for a moment I would feel at easy and very worldly-like, but then doubt would creep in and I would start to wonder whether there was something implicit in their sass, something indirect yet of the utmost importance; this hidden substratum I could not perceive, let alone recognize, and this terrified me. I never understood black people. They were kinds of things dreams were made of... in this case quite literally. I look down at my fully erect shaft.

[Anonymous No.3182599]

>>3182174
Yes. We're all shit until we prove ourselves. We ascend in the scale as we improve our writing style.
ITT we defined different grades of shittyness according to our writings. You're still shit because you didn't participate, you just copied and pasted another persons' text. You might be at the bottom right now, unless you posted in this thread before. And babble babble.

[Anonymous No.3183678]

>>3182466

[Anonymous No.3183694]

>>3182466
I is magic ngra

[Anonymous No.3183711]

>>3182682

>mfw i tried reading Leviathan Wakes yesterday

"all the most boring parts of Blade Runner and Gundam" is a pretty meh premise, even for pulp. the body-horror stuff was okay but much like everything else Abraham writes the book was quite nondescript.

[Anonymous No.3183739]

>>3182466

first well-written thing I've seen on /lit/ in a while now

[Anonymous No.3183804]

I looked behind me and saw a second shadow in the snow. At that point I didn't know whether the hallucinations or the hunter would be the first to claim me. I chuckled as a dark thought started to form: at least if it was the latter I'd finally be seen as something of value, albeit over a mantle.

[Anonymous No.3183821]

Her face was shrouded within the deep tenebrae of a bleak evening. Lightening cracked along the lone plains unveiling the strangers features through fleeting lightSHE WAS A SKELETON.

[Anonymous No.3183826]

One time I was standing on some corner in Philly and there was an open bottle yogo and I kicked it and it spilled and then I got worried that the person it belonged to would come back and ask me what happened and I'd say I didn't know but he would know I would be lying because my voice cracks when I'm lying like a bitch so I just crossed the street and waited on the other corner. I tried not to make eye contact with the yogo too much.

[Anonymous No.3183829]

>>3183826
true story

[Anonymous No.3183851]

Once upon a time, OP was a huge faggot. The end.

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3183877]

>>3183739
>>3183739

hahahaha thanks i guess, though I wrote it with no more seriosity than >>3181653

actually in this one, i tried to come off as autistic as possible, which is why it doesn't surprise me that you liked it.

[Anonymous No.3183975]

the sand crunched with satisfaction, giving way with each light push. She moaned, and wiggled, and the sand cascaded down (or up) her shoulderblades. He saw himself in her dark amber eyes. They pecked. They pecked again and again, then with gusto, or pent up testosterone swung his hands up her body, sloping and moving with every curce, only to cup her as their tonues teased. Low tide receded, and beat against the coarse shore. On the trail some feet away, asian tourists snaped shots of a tiring sun bearing down on the cobalt distance,

her hands her coarser then the sand, yet still his fingers lingered in hers. She seemed to swallow after every breath, pursing her lips ever so out. Small dots of acne scarring danced when she whipsered out utterings for him to hear. Her leg nestled tightly against his crotch. More cantonese in the distance, more kodak moments, more rise and fall of an infinite ocean. Time passed, or didn't seem to pass. Clothing bundled and padded all the wrong areas. Their wine bottle drifted off to sea with its label the only message it bore.

- you have the most blue eyes I've every seen, she said almost inaudibly with a cheshire smile.

his eyes were green.

[Anonymous No.3183979]

or,

the dead eyed cashier rung through each item with as little fascination as he could muster. When he spoke, it was as though he was chewing cud.

Deluxe condoms. $9.99.
Dentyne Ice. $ 1.49 (or 3 for $3)
Cosmopolitan UK. $7.99.

- paper, plastic or something inbetween?

they never seemed to get his jokes. The blondes, the blacks, the redhead he'd been following aisle to aisle the night before. They all judged his too long hair and his too hunched neck without hearing the words he said. Which was why he'd stopped trying. Each time he opened his mouth was simply to excercise his ability to see into the future. A pure faced angels buying Tampax Pads in bulk were the highlight of his night. She slide into his lane flush faced after finding every other option to be full. She met his eyes even less then the usual customer, but he drank her aversion in. He saw her shame coming out in globs and spurts. (and some small chunks) Yet would would absorb her essence, she stained his mind with her hygeinic image.

- y'know we gotta deal on fer 4 packs fer

- I saw. Can I just pay.

- cause its always goodta stock UP for some heavy occas

- jesus, can we get on with thi

- this brands commercials always got me confused about a thing or two, like why is Aunt Flo' played by a woman he clearly ain't bleedin' no more?

She stares at him with disbelief. She can't see his eyes very well, on account of his long ratting hair. He mouth breaths. She winces.

- paper, plastic or something inbetween? Weeeeeell, since you're already getting a whole lotta "something inbetween"

She throws down a twenty , nearly in tears, and leaves in a hurry. She almost forgets to grab the XXL size box. Least she tipped, most of them don't tip.

[Anonymous No.3183988]

I walked to the store. I bought some gum. I don't like gum, I just wanted to talk to the clerk. e

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3184016]

>>3182466
This was actually good. Carried on for a bit too long about recognizing.

[Anonymous No.3184064]

One day, I woke up and had to pee, so I went and had myself a pee festival in the bathroom. It was a very lonely festival but I tried to enjoy myself anyway.

I couldn't manage to have fun, though. So I killed myself.

[Anonymous No.3184131]

Every day she wakes up and almost kills herself pursuing something she doesn't really want. In fact, she doesn't even know exactly what she is working toward. All she knows is that she is lying to herself when she says, “I need this.” Her journey toward death is not a conventional suicide. It is a slow saunter consisting of constant pit stops to engage in small, self-destructive behaviors. She thinks this is all part of the plan. “I want to be just like you dad,” she tells her father behind tears that even she can’t seem to make sense of. “Son, I couldn’t be more proud of you,” he lies back.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3184134]

>>3184131
It sounds like a talk-show voiceover. You know, that announcer that tells you what the Oprah show will be about today, or something.

[Anonymous No.3184142]

>>3184134
Thanks for the feedback. I haven't every actually written anything other than thesis driven papers for school. I'll simply take this as a sign I watch too much tv.

[Anonymous No.3184148]

>>3181837
Wow that is beautiful. Sauce?

[Anonymous No.3184161]

I finally did my calculations right today. After weeks of stalking Julia, a fellow student of the same year who is also a nerdy slightly unkempt recluse like me, in the hallways of our highschool. I finally caught her alone in the hallway, during lunch break. She always has such a predictable routine, such a geek. I came from behind, silent as death. I grabbed her by the elbow and reeled her in the indentation where door class door meets wall. Nobody was in the door, nobody in the hall. Alone. She having the reflexes of a sedated cat let out a yelp, but I silenced her by putting my hand over her mouth. I began molesting her, squeezing her into the corner, fondling her breasts. She began to consent to this sensuality, and so I let go of her mouth and dry humped her as I massaged her small breasts as well as rubbing her cookie, ass, and thighs.

[Anonymous No.3184166]

It was roughly 2 a.m. on a Saturday night. I was drunkenly slumped in the booth of a shabby Mexican restaurant sipping down the last few ounces of my Modelo and reflecting on my failure to make any friends that night. I briefly awoke from my bout of self-pity only to scold myself for ordering a beer that comes in a clear bottle. I had brewed beer with my father once growing up and learned that if light infiltrated the glass quality would be compromised. I really didn’t mind the taste though. I finished the last sip of my beer and looked across the restaurant. Sitting by herself on the other side of the room was a depressed looking girl staring listlessly at her burrito. I wandered back up to the counter and ordered two Modelos while trying to muster a genuine smile.

[Anonymous No.3184170]

>>3184161
This is fucking shit. Also, your second sentence has no subject..it is just a predicate. EX: Can't tell if troll or just really stupid.

[Anonymous No.3184171]

>>3184170
You know you want it bay bay!
Just let it happen.

[Anonymous No.3184174]

>>3184134
Can we get some more feedback Ollie? :D

[Anonymous No.3184175]

>>3184171
Go back to /b/ please

[Anonymous No.3184178]

>>3184175

[Anonymous No.3184186]

I'm a little drunk, but I'd like to try!

He slipped past them all, as if they were nothing more than forever stoic artifacts of less than appreciable quality. Monuments to vanity, they stand in congregations; Unmoving and bleeding into the background. These placid symbols yield no memories of value, for they all remind him of a time when nothing was ever symbol. Now that they are finally past him, he may stand back and observe these grotesque plebeians - These white viscous tipped burdens and wonder "Where did these throbbing cocks come from?"

I don't know whatI just did.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3184218]

>>3184174
Pretty sure the rest of you are trolls.

>>3184161
Shit. I got bored and irritated 1/3 of the way through.

>>3184166
Shit. I got bored after the first sentence.

>>3184186
Shit. This was slightly more amusing than the other two. Are you Aussie?

I need another cup of coffee and then I can go do more productive stuff. /lit/ turns into a lavatory during Aussie drinking hours.

[Anonymous No.3184241]

>>3184218
I'm on the other side, in Alaska. We don't rite 2 gud up hurr.

[Anonymous No.3184242]

>>3184218
You suck

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3184272]

>>3184241
It wasn't too bad, it's just that it wasn't going anywhere, and you were rambling. Which is fine, since you were drunk, but without that context it's still shit.

[Anonymous No.3184289]

I wrote this about a dream I once had. This is only an excerpt from the full text.

Spires of magnitude and tenticular horror curled and enveloped massive think arms that ripped through Earth and reached towards strips of red, bloody clouds which, like the sprinkling of blood on the baby of summer formed sadness, madness, macabre and sheer terror in all. Perfectly round spheres whose immaculate, flawless, elegant circumference made men cry and women weep and all feed suicide the blood of the rib. The steady, reoccurring echoes of the colossal heart beat resonated and reverberated throughout the dead dirty hills and rolling desolate plains of the face of the world. A gateway to heaven.
Void.
Abyss.
Oblivion in all its forms and in all its methods and in all its concepts and arms and cracked earth and scared face and blind eyes and deaf ears and raped tongue and fucked face.

[Anonymous No.3184376]

There's a train that rolls by every once and a while. I hear its horn through the window of my dorm. Although I can't look out to watch it trundle past, I always know how long its progress lasts. The rhythm of its thumps and chugs has established itself as a metronome of progress, the dull thunk of a lumbering cargo box echoing across the baseball diamond followed by a diminished whish bridging the gap between its wheels. Sometimes I like to see myself packing up some clothes, knowing exactly when that train will arrive, and closing the door to my dorm for the final time as I roll my suitcase into the hall. Down by the station, a miniature brick-and-mortar stand of old, I'll watch the majestic beast arrive, as oblivious to my presence as a king to his procession's. I'll push down the handle of my case until it click into its provided indentation and look for one of those cargo carts to open up as the animal slows from an outright sprint to a slow strut. In a moment, it will manifest: an open, black void, slightly ajar out of laziness or chance grinding. A welcome sight to the stow-away in practice, a straight shot to a place without the stranglehold of debt or isolation resting on one's shoulders. One hop inside opens up a whole new life.

Huh, there it goes again.

[Anonymous No.3184400]

>>3184376
>every once and a while.

CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST. HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP MAKING THIS MISTAKE???????????????

IT'S
>once in a while.

HOW ARE YOU THIS ILLITERATE?

[Anonymous No.3184401]

Wrench screamed "Don't press that button you will kill us all"
Jack screamed even louder "Do it! It's the only way"
Jenny was drowning in her own sweat.
Then she hammered the button with her scarred battle hardened fist.
Massive armored seal was ejected from its position and flied away propelled by the explosion.
"Shit they are coming! Get ready!"
Suddenly, Twilight gently started to stimulate Flutterhy's clit.

Damn man this is hard, no matter how hard i try, it always gets turned into mlp clop fanfic ;_; i will never get published ;_;

[Anonymous No.3184410]

>>3184400

my bad dood it's 6 A.M. and I just got up

don't usually write fiction anyway, i'm not exactly the best at making characters

sorry bruv ;__;

[Anonymous No.3184444]

>>3184289
>Void.
>Abyss.
>Oblivion
Read nothing else.

[Anonymous No.3184476]

>>3184444
dem quads, I say

[Anonymous No.3184594]

Y'all like my Australian fiction? Am I eine Artiste now?

In the event that I tell you something that isn't true, punch me in the face. Punch me right in the fucking face. Ball a tight, wobbly fist, then punch me in my goddamn face. I hate my face. I hate my fucking pudgy skin, my arrogant, waver-y lips. Punch me in my goddamn face. Do it. Happy to tell you, though, that I've not yet been punched in the face by anyone bar that little bitch creature what I encountered, all angry like, in old primary school. Fuck, that was a mess. What an asshole that guy was. One of these days, someone is going to beat the shit out of you, someone told me (heh). They fucking tried and they might keep fucking trying, yeah, I remember that - in primary school - had the damn notion that I might goddamn become some kind of prophet-speaker bastard, and that I'd need to protect myself or something - protect my right to speak candidly, and that - and that I'd need to fight if that was the case, and I took up classes with this martial arts company and I learned to really kick some fucking ass. I mean, like, so many kinds of ass: short-asses, tall fuckers, motherfuckers, bitches, muscly bastards, cunts with arms like trees (like, the teacher said, no cunt's got an arm like a tree, but, if he did, this is how you'd take him). I'd fuck 'em all. I was like that. I was good at fucking fighting. Nah, though, like I said, I ain't been in a fight since primary school, but I could have been, and, if I was, I would have kicked a lot of asses.

[Anonymous No.3184606]

Pedestrian

These high modern towers oppress me—suffocate me. The throng is alive all around; I'm trapped. A stout woman trundles along ahead of me. I attempt to pass her from the left and from the right, but she drifts just slightly side to side as if psychically attuned to my motions. Finally I see my opening and race past before her bulk closes the gap. Then the throng envelops me again.

[Anonymous No.3184609]

All the boys were sitting on one side of Mark's lawn, drinking and smoking. It was the end of November and, like the rest of the month, the weather was volatile and confused: cloudless and warm when I woke up then warm still but pissing rain as we watched the sun go down two hours later. His mum, a haggard woman with hair like a unravelled scourer, was mowing the other side, spending more time staring at the grass than cutting it. I had forgotten where his dad was. He was unemployed, so probably inside. Either way the weed smoke through the aluminium door was just another smell, and the acid tab beneath my tongue just another day.

[Anonymous No.3184615]

[Anonymous No.3184620]

>>3183988

good

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3186336]

>>3183979

this is good

[Anonymous No.3186355]

Two questions Stan

>>3181653

Are the misspellings intentional?

>>3182466

Why post this as Anon?

[Anonymous No.3186364]

>>3186355

Oh yeah, and what is D. N.?

[Anonymous No.3186370]

My mom makes me wear a "Visitors" badge to school everyday because she claims that's what we all are on Earth.
God damned hippie, as soon as I turn 18 I'm spending all of my money on a truck and legal fees to change my name to Michael from Daffodil. If I have anything left over, I'll buy a gas powered generator and just run it all day.

[satan !!1Fa7LzeI6u8 No.3186425]

>>3186355
>>3186364

>Are the misspellings intentional?

>lamiated

no, didnt even notice

>lard crack

unintentional but i did notice yet chose to leave it there for aesthetic purpose

>blashpemy

its how i imagine sean connery saying "blasphemy"

>Why post this as Anon?

hahah My trip doesn't match the tone of this piece . i wanted it to be taken at face value, as if some severely autistic or awkwardly post-ironic anon had written it.

>Oh yeah, and what is D. N.?

ebonics for "the end"

[Anonymous No.3186525]

There are too many, breathing heavily around me, slumped on chairs in front of gate B36, eating chips and waiting for boarding.
The seats are old, in some places the orange foam is torn off, leaving the plastic skeleton exposed. I'm sitting in one of better ones, yawning. In front of me there is a glass stand, where a thin woman sells
cigarettes, potato chips and bottled water. She sits motionless, head sticking out from a Karelia sign, staring at the directory. The plane to St. Petersburg is running late,an hour delay, which meant to expect at least 3 hours of staring at tiles and these people sweating as they carry their rolling suitcases
in hand to preserve the wheels. I open my mouth widely, yawning again. A pretty lady looks at my open hole as she makes her way to the empty seat in front of me, followed by her friend. They both sit down.
She has a slender figure, with fake tits and nipples which stick out in her tight T shirt, making a bridge in the fabric. Her friend is a plump man dressed in white. White pants and a white collared shirt, buttoned tightly. It's too small for him.
His fat rolls make folds on his sides, and the red converses he wears make him look like a giant white slug with bleeding feet. Giant white worm with shiny new blood soaked shoes, Ray Bans and an
expensive watch. He holds 2 plane tickets on his left hand.

[Anonymous No.3186566]

>>3186525
waiting TO BOARD
tickets IN his left hand

I liked it though.

[Anonymous No.3186614]

You're walking home from McDonalds. Walking isn't quite the right term, more of a stumble. You're drunk, you see, and quite full of burgers. You only eat the burgers, someone told you that the fries and the drink contain most of the calories in a McDonalds meal. So you ate eight big burgers, oozing with cheese and grease and ketchup. On your way home you have to pass a children's playground.

It's evening, about 6 o'clock. The playground looks deserted, you stop for some dessert. You take a sweaty, melty, gooey brick of chocolate wrapped in foil paper out from the pocket of your grey sweatpants. The sweatpants weren't gret when you bought them, but you haven't washed any clothes in a while. A small hand touches your shoulder. "Give me some chocolate," asks a tiny irritating voice.

You look around and see a small child, about six, and sick. "It's past six," you say, "and you seem sick, and just six, are you here alone?"

The small boy wipes thick streak of snot from his upper lip with his sleave. He coughs in your face without raising a hand, and you feel his spittle mist you. Ignoring your question, the boy reaches out a hand, palm up. "Chocolate," he insists.

You hand him your chocolate. He turns and runs away without a word. "What a cunt," you mutter to yourself as you get up and begin the stumble home.

[Anonymous No.3187286]

>>3186525
>A pretty lady looks at my open hole
This made me giggle. I hope it was intentional, but that sudden peak is not relevant to the story.

[Anonymous No.3187289]

>>3186614
>You look around and see a small child, about six, and sick. "It's past six," you say, "and you seem sick, and just six, are you here alone?"
This line was great. I'm about to read it again.

[Anonymous No.3187332]

It was raining outside. Or maybe snowing; I couldn't be bothered to check. I stormed through the door in a flurry of motion, boots and coat and scarf united in a gust that swept me out under wet, grey skies. Snowflakes caught in my hear - it was snow after all - and I wished for a moment I'd brought an umbrella. I didn't own an umbrella, but I'd always been fascinated with the long ones with curved wooden handles. They possessed an elegance that could be matched only by a suit and fedora, and I imagined I'd look rather dashing with it. I pull in a breath of frigid air and hold it for a moment (a trick I learned myself) before expelling a cloud of hazy fog. Perhaps it looks like I'm smoking.

The train was late, unfortunately, and my clothes were thoroughly soaked as I clambered on. My hands were freezing as well, and I was wondering if I might not lose a finger or two. Although I actually owned a pair of gloves, I rarely wore them. They were too tight, too restrictive, even though I had no particular use for my fingers. The faces around me are blank, though I take special care to inspect each. Some of them meet my eyes, but I've undoubtedly had more practice than them, and after a moment they look away.

[Anonymous No.3187406]

There are 26 criteria on the psychopath scale; a very disturbed individual may meet up to fourteen of these. Occasionally, very rarely, someone may present with more than twenty characteristics that define them as possessing a psychopathic personality. Jeany not only met every criteria on the scale, they added an extra one just for her- they called it the Jeany factor- you had to enjoy and revel in your otherwise complete lack of empathy for living things.
The staff who cared for her in the forensic psychiatric unit all agreed, her eyes were the scariest part of her. They avoided any eye contact if they could, if they did manage to meet her gaze, she would lock on and never break until they did. One lost a finger while caught in her hypnotic stare, he didn't even realise that his fingers were in her mouth until he felt her teeth scraping on the bone of his ring finger.

More?

[Anonymous No.3187431]

>>3187289
Thank you, I appreciate that.

[Anonymous No.3187469]

The door opened, but he did not trust his eyes. The corridor that now lay in front of him was complacently white, and lit by the sun from the right windows.

Somberly he started walking down the corridor, making about 10 steps before hearing the elevator doors click.

He turned around and of course that fucking elevator was gone. His heart started to speed up and he put a hand on the wall, turning to look through the opposite window onto the garden.

But it wasn't a garden anymore. It was green, yes, but more than that it was moving. The brick path and the vines were indiscriminate in their existence; filling and switching between themselves based on the logic of some fallen god.

He slumped down, feeling his pants on the way to the floor. Why the fuck don't I have cigarettes at least; tragically the last sane, lucid thought he would experience until waking up in the elevator.

[Anonymous No.3187483]

>>3187332
>It was raining outside. Or maybe snowing

What does this even mean? How would you know it's raining or snowing without checking?

[Anonymous No.3187490]

>>3187483
It's subversion of pathetic fallacy.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187493]

>>3186614
>You only eat the burgers,
burgers;

>So you ate eight big burgers, oozing with cheese and grease and ketchup.
Gross. Nice.

>The playground looks deserted, you stop for some dessert.
The playground looks deserted, so you stop for some dessert.

>You take a sweaty, melty, gooey brick of chocolate wrapped in foil paper out from the pocket of your grey sweatpants.
Why so many adjectives? The sentence is cumbersome. It takes too long to do what you want it to.

>The sweatpants weren't gret
*grey

>A small hand touches your shoulder. "Give me some chocolate," asks a tiny irritating voice.

tiny, irritating
If the hand is small, we'll assume the voice is tiny. There's no need for the extra dimunitive.

>You look around and see a small child, about six, and sick. "It's past six," you say, "and you seem sick, and just six, are you here alone?"
Trying too hard.

>The small boy wipes thick streak of snot from his upper lip with his sleave.
*a thick streak
*sleeve

>He coughs in your face without raising a hand
*he coughs into

>You hand him your chocolate. He turns and runs away without a word.
Is "without a word" really necessary?

At least I read through the whole thing.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187496]

>>3187493
P.S. Learn how to use apostrophes.

[Anonymous No.3187503]

>>3187469
How can white be complacent? Use a simile to describe the whiteness of the walls.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187504]

>>3187406
Pretty cool. I don't like this line.

>Jeany not only met every criteria on the scale, they added an extra one just for her- they called it the Jeany factor- you had to enjoy and revel in your otherwise complete lack of empathy for living things.

It's too.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187538]

>>3187332
>It was raining outside. Or maybe snowing; I couldn't be bothered to check.
Somthing's wrong with the flow.
It was raining outside. Or maybe snowing. I couldn't be bothered to check.
or
It was raining outside, or maybe snowing; I couldn't be bothered to check.

>I stormed through the door
cliche

>in a flurry of motion,
cliche

>boots and coat and scarf united in a gust that swept me out under wet, grey skies.
Too much. What does this even mean?

>Snowflakes caught in my hear - it was snow after all -
Snowflakes caught in my hair (it was snow after all)
Makes more sense; it's more of an aside this way.

>and I wished for a moment I'd brought an umbrella.
and I wished I'd brought an umbrella.
"For a moment" is a cliche.

>They possessed an elegance that could be matched only by a suit and fedora, and I imagined I'd look rather dashing with it.
Something's wrong with the tense between this sentence and the last.

>I pull in a breath of frigid air and hold it for a moment (a trick I learned myself) before expelling a cloud of hazy fog. Perhaps it looks like I'm smoking.
What was the point of telling us this?

>The train was late, unfortunately, and my clothes were thoroughly soaked as I clambered on.
This is vague. Did the clothes soak while you entering the train, or while you were waiting?
"Thoroughly soaked" and "clambered on" are cliches.

>My hands were freezing
cliche

>The faces around me are blank, though I take special care to inspect each.
I'm not sure if this is intentional, or if you meant to imply what it does, but good line.

>Some of them meet my eyes, but I've undoubtedly had more practice than them, and after a moment they look away.
Unnecessay sentence because of the one preceding it.

Not bad.

[Anonymous No.3187616]

>>3187332
you sound like you wish you were an anime character and it's fucking annoying

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187636]

>>3187496
I meant commas.

[Anonymous No.3187642]

>>3187493
>too many adjectives, gret, small/tiny, a thick
I saw all these as soon as I posted but couldn't be fucked fixing. Especially the unnecessary adjectives describing, that line really bugs me somehow.
>others
Did not see any of these, thank you for your help.
>>3187636
I have no idea how to use punctuation in general. I just put commas where I think I'd pause in normal speech. I was never taught it, I picked up vague ideas about punctuation just from reading. How do you learn to use commas? I would love to do so.

[Anonymous No.3187645]

>>3187493
>too many adjectives, gret, small/tiny, a thick
I saw all these as soon as I posted but couldn't be fucked fixing them. The description of the chocolate really bugs me especially, maybe because it's not a typo or punctuation error but is just bad somehow.
>others
Did not see any of these, thank you for your help.
>>3187636
I have no idea how to use punctuation in general. I just put commas where I think I'd pause in normal speech. I was never taught it, I picked up vague ideas about punctuation just from reading. How do you learn to use commas? I would love to do so.

[Anonymous No.3187646]

>>3181745
>>3181902
"...before the wolves came out" doesn't end with a preposition. "Came out" is a phrasal verb, which is just acting as an intransitive verb here. Your other suggestions are pretty good though. I think that last suggestion probably has something to do with the fact that he has what seems like an adverb clause that doesn't have a conjunctive adverb to kick it off. A solution would be "I bit my lip and looked east, where the fence posts repeated themselves endlessly down the border of his land."

[Anonymous No.3187652]

>>3187646

Don't ever use "bit my lip".

[Anonymous No.3187662]

>>3187652
Don't ever put a goddamned period after a quotation mark.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3187750]

>>3187646
>"...before the wolves came out" doesn't end with a preposition. "Came out" is a phrasal verb, which is just acting as an intransitive verb here.

I'm inclined to disagree with you here. Sure, it's a phrasal verb, but the sentence is still ending on a preposition. It just reads wrong, to me. Different strokes. This is how I would edit the writing. Other people would do it differently.

>A solution would be "I bit my lip and looked east, where the fence posts repeated themselves endlessly down the border of his land."

That works, too. There's a very specific term for this grammatical mistake and it's been bothering me ever since that I can't remember it.

>>3187662
You Americans and your illogical use of punctuation.

[Anonymous No.3187755]

for sale
baby shoes
covered in shit

[Anonymous No.3188081]

>>3187750
You can only put it outside of a quotation mark in certain circumstances, and that's not one of them. Also, I'm fairly certain that's the prevailing attitude at large.

[Anonymous No.3188091]

The ball flew through a broken window and landed in the cellar. One of the children, the fourteen-year-old daughter of the concierge, hobbled down after it. A tram had cut off one of her legs, poor thing, and so she was quite happy if she could at least pick up the ball after her playmates.
The cellar was in semi-darkness, but she thought she could see something stirring in a corner.
“Kitty!” the wooden-legged daughter of the concierge called out. “What are you doing down here, dear little kitty?”

She then picked up the ball and hurried off with it as fast as she could.

The old, ugly and foul-smelling rat – for it was a rat that had been taken for a kitten – was stunned. No one had ever talked to it like that before. Up till then everyone had been repulsed by it, pelted it with bits of coal, or fled screaming for their lives. But now, for the first time, it thought how different everything would have been if only it’d been born a kitten, or better yet – because we’re all insatiable, and it too continued to weave the web of its reveries – it thought how very wonderful it would have been if only it’d been born the lame daughter of a concierge. But this thought was so very beautiful, the rat couldn’t even imagine it in earnest.

[Anonymous No.3188093]

>>3188081

that's the right circumstance to use it, when quoting someone.

[Anonymous No.3188099]

Unemployed, bored, at living at home, Jacob realized he needed to change his life. He searched craigslist briefly, contemplated filling out the Starbucks application form, then smoke a joint and watched Luther. He was no longer bored.

[Anonymous No.3188097]

Father: You need to learn to drive.

Son: No.

Father: And get up front, you look like a faggot sitting in the back.

Son: No, I like the backseat.

Father: You are 25. You can't sit in the backseat forever.

Son: Shut up and take me to Gamestop Dad.

[Anonymous No.3188112]

>>3188097

This made me cry and I flopped around the ground like a faggy fish.

[Anonymous No.3188115]

What magazines, literature journals, publications, do you read?

If you submit, where do you submit?

Have you been published anywhere, online or in print.

Did it make you feel more whole?

[Anonymous No.3188142]

Enough with the prose already.:

Broken winds leave traces
Scents long turned to dust
A hopeful smile works wonders
Your wings are setting rust

Those birds build a nest
In the whole of your eyes
as you only stare
at innocent skies.

A faded promise
A bygone touch
Why did I ever
Care so much?

[Anonymous No.3188159]

>>3188142
*holes

[Anonymous No.3188175]

>>3188097

Will someone expand this scene out in prose?

[Anonymous No.3188184]

>>3188182
One by one, they squeezed past me. Sitting as I was, I was taking up most of the bridge. I knew I was in the way for no good reason, I knew I was being a pillock, but I couldn’t let them see me move. And I didn’t know what I would be when I was older, but I knew I could never be like them. I hated them. I’d rather die. If I could see the future, if I knew that one day I’d be a middle-class twat like that, I’d dash my head off the pavement until my brain was a thick red paste.
But he had a point. It was cold. The temperature of the air had dropped a fair way since I sat down, and cold seeped up through my jeans from the concrete bridge. When I was finally sure they wouldn’t see, I stood up. I even brushed the dirt off my jeans. Sitting here had been a stupid idea. The dog-walkers would be right to think I was a weirdo cunt. If I had stayed there all night I’d have been dead by the morning, and I wouldn’t last three hours as a wanderer. I wouldn’t even be able to leave the suburbs.
The cold slowly killed off my dreams of rebellion. Fuck this body for needing warmth and food – the unkillable desires that bind us to society, however hard we try to escape. I slunk back home with my head down. Headlights passing felt like searchlights, or stage lights. Every passing car carried an audience that was seeing me at my weakest, but I had to keep walking, walking back to my parents so they could call me useless.
But it only hurt because I loved them. And they only hurt because they loved me too.

[Anonymous No.3188182]

The Miserable
The third time I failed my theory test, I didn’t go home. Instead I sat on the motorway footbridge, full of envy and loathing for every car that passed under. I was gonna stay there all night, maybe sleep sitting up and rise with the sun, but the cold wind cut through my jacket, and in the end I couldn’t stay more than twenty minutes. In that twenty minutes, though, I thought about a lot. Thought about my parents; how, though they’d be worried if I didn’t come home, they’d call me a useless twat if I did. Thought of how in the morning I could just get up and walk for miles, how I’d make a new life wandering, doing odd jobs and trading stories.
One point I think I dozed off, woken minutes later by a cold nose and a wet tongue. I took the dog for a stray – wishful thinking, a companion for my new life on the road – but then I saw its collar and its lead, and its owners caught up. An old rich couple.
“Come along Suzi. You okay son?”
No. I wanted to knock the three of them from the bridge and dive down after.
“Yeah. Just watching traffic.”
“Well, okay. You’re not thinking of jumping are you?”
“No,” I lied.
“Okay, but mind you don’t get cold. Come on, Suzi.”
I couldn’t tell if he was talking to his wife or the dog.

[Anonymous No.3188187]

>>3188184
>>3188182
It ended up being two posts, but oh well.

[Anonymous No.3188190]

I went to bed late but woke up early. The coffee didn't make me feel less tired but it did make me feel less comfortable. I yawned and watched out the window. The grass was white, because it was cold. I hadn't worked for four months. I looked at my to-do list on my phone. I should call the psychiatrist. I left my number and then yesterday someone called me while I was in the shower and it was a private number so I couldn't call back. When the psychiatrist treats me maybe he will say that I have a personality disorder. Maybe he will say so to the government so that they give me money so that I don't have to work. I have promised myself that I will never work again. If they don't give me money I will have to make the situation escalate so that they will. If that doesn't work I will have to become a criminal. I would be a bad criminal because my heart isn't in it. I hope I have a personality disorder according to the psychiatrist.

[Anonymous No.3188202]

I woke up. At least I thought I did. I had woke up in a dream. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming. In that dream I was sleeping and while I was sleeping I was dreaming. The dream was about me waking up from sleep. As I awoke I remembered I was dreaming.

[Ollie !!KX1j+pu7EIN No.3188259]

>>3188190
Good. Awkwardly phrased in one or two places.

[Anonymous No.3188972]

All shit.

[Anonymous No.3189580]

>>3188097
10/10

[Anonymous No.3189623]

Why is he always standing in that window? Every day and night - I saw him last Thursday, two in the morning, by the light of his cigarette. You know the ones, with little gold rings on the tip, except they stopped making those years ago. Does he have a supply? Who brings him his food and gives him the word? Who sleeps in his bed and sucks him off when he's in the mood? Why is he always standing in that window?

[Anonymous No.3190191]

>>3188091
That was good, but the end feels dull, it lacks something.

[Anonymous No.3190210]

>>3188190

I blah blah.

I blah blah blah.

I...

I blah.

Sentence structure got really repetitive.

[Anonymous No.3190407]

>>3188097

This hits home.

[Anonymous No.3190418]

My father scrutinized me with his piercing eyes, and said in a brooding voice: 'The board they call 'lit' is nothing but a waste of time. Avoid it at all cost, kid.' And so I became a back-alley prostitute, dispensing cheap tricks and developing a sweet tooth for negro genitalia.

[Anonymous No.3190426]

>>3190418
>scrutinized me with his piercing eyes
>brooding voice

So much awful in just a few sentences.

[Anonymous No.3190424]

>>3190407
It's about Sunhawk.

[Anonymous No.3190448]

I wonder if I should hold on? I mean at least the view is nice. But nothing ever fucking happens up here. It's probably way more interesting down there. And fun. I'm cold. I bet it's warm at the bottom. Nobody ever talks to me. It's probably one of those grass being greener on the other side kind of things where it looks great from here and then once I get there it'll be shit and I'll wish I was still here but then again maybe it'll be exactly the same which means it at least won't be worse and then at least I'll know which will probably make it better. Right? I hope it doesn't hurt. It's probably gonna hurt. I wonder how long it'll take. I think it's 9.8 something...maybe squared...fuck it, I can't remember. Oh well, here it goes.
And then the rock fell off the cliff.

[Anonymous No.3190454]

My shitty contribution:

The riverside walk was mostly empty except for a strolling couple, walking silently side by side. Tourist season was over, and students were either having lectures or taking shelter from the dull and white sky, which imposed its heavily uncharacteristic light over the quiet and dreary city. I gently shivered on my solitary bench, which felt damp on my back and buttocks, as I observed the uncaring ducks with a certain envy which verged on the edge of vehemence. The muddy brown and emerald green forms floated nonchalantly in the canal, scattered over its rippling surface like overly realistic bath toys. Irritated, I dug in my warm
duffel coat breast pocket for my pack of cigarettes, and, with some difficulty, fished it out. My irritation faded away as the familiar rush of nicotine kicked in, and I relaxed on my moist wooden bench. A lone jogger in the latest waterproof tights and running gear huffed and puffed past my bench. I sat and waited.

[Anonymous No.3190460]

>>3190448
God, I hate useless profanity in fiction. It's pretentious and lazy.

[Anonymous No.3190488]

>>3190460
oh no...3 swear words. Sorry to offend your high sense of literary style with my gutter language. And you shouldn't use the Lord's name like that. It's sinful and disrespectful.

[Anonymous No.3190492]

>>3190488
>/lit/
>3

[Anonymous No.3190764]

There was a climbing wall in the middle of the patio, and the people were cheering at the climbers. It was after sunset and the gaudy party lights flashed over everything. The music was a headache. I was sitting next to the snacks and I'd had too much soda.

By the time I decided to go over and climb up everyone had already gone over to the karaoke. I didn't care. I got the attention of one of the guys they'd hired for the thing. He left his beer and handed me a harness. I wasn't doing it for fun. I wanted to show them. Show them something (what?). I wanted some attention, in a way that wasn't pathetic.

It was just a novelty. It wasn't supposed to be very hard, but even I cheered when someone pushed the button at the top and started the little siren. It was hard. I almost slipped several times. But my sweaty hand was finally close to the button (not close enough). All muscles straining just to stay in place, I look around for a foothold and I realize nobody's watching. It doesn't matter because the alarm is enough. Once I do this I can just get down and start a conversation about it, see what they're up to, relax a little. Then I slip for real.

[Anonymous No.3190817]

>>3190764
You forgot to add the part where the narrator falls ass-first on the 12in dragon dildo

[Anonymous No.3190832]

I watched a seagull swallow a rock today.
It was a rather anticlimactic event, though I suppose seagulls usually spend their time doing anticlimactic things.
I was confused though, what would drive the seagull to eat that rock.
I wanted to lecture him on the facts of sedimentary deposits and their lack of nutrients, but he flew away.

Maybe the rock tasted good.

[Anonymous No.3190846]

If there is love, we'd say it so. We'd tell the others why.
If there was love and then would all of us come run on down to lie in rouge and wait between the pillows and the catch.
What love would then us say, keep hollowed out the crackling in your wallets, let it love. A touch. A sight as this. If love would come on home we'd say it so.
We'd breathe it all, we'd yes, we'd mirror it, play daughter to the son of elder hands, keep us at grazing with a shuffle, all just stuck there lain in wait for just a suckle at a teat.
Come love, you'd say it so. We'd catch it long before it made its scurry for the outer, love. A touch. She'll sing it out. Keep daughter's suckling straight, her suckling narrow, rigid, not a drop is missed. She loves, she loves, she says she does. I'd sing, yes, love:

I will not say I miss her in the quiet but I do, I do, I do.

[Anonymous No.3191632]

>>3190210
That was sort of what I was going for. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.3191635]

>>3190460
>emulating actual speech
>pretentious

[Anonymous No.3191638]

>>3190832
Birds eat rocks because they don't have teeth. The stones help to mush their food up in their stomachs.

[Anonymous No.3191642]

>>3191638
This.

Someone wasn't paying attention in HS Biology.

[Anonymous No.3191682]

>>3188097

Will someone write this out in prose?