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/lit/ - Literature

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3160412 No.3160412[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>be black
>go to college in Orange County
>in a poetry class
>its an elective I don't really care for
>almost 100% cute white girls in my class
>i'm the only black guy
>we had to write and present a poem about 'a deep emotion you have felt'
>I recite Wale's poem from the opening of "Diced Pinapples"
>the girls are shifting in their seats and looking visibly flustered as I read it
>finish reading it
>theres silence for a couple seconds
>the professor(cute white girl as well) snaps out of the trance she was in
>wipes the sweat off her brow
>says "O-ok class...g-give him a round of applause"
>everyone claps
>after class
>approached by 3 girls for their numbers
>hook up with a separate girl in my car later
>the teacher has been giving me dirty looks ever since
>get professors number
>we've been dirty texting
>i'm gonna fuck 4 separate girls + a professor this week

>> No.3160421

>>3160412

>be black
>college in Orange County

I stopped reading there

>> No.3160419
File: 71 KB, 166x228, what can I say.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3160419

Congrats my fellow negro

I don't think this has happened for anyone else here though, so there might not be much to discuss!

>> No.3160424

sure you are honey

>> No.3160423

>>3160412
Btw, congrats on getting into Chapman. I'm sure your parents are so proud!

>> No.3160426

just remember to take your pills mmk

>> No.3160427

>>>/fit/
for delusions
is that way

>> No.3160428
File: 28 KB, 202x224, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3160428

I almost believed it OP but theres one fatal flaw in your story's credibility...

THERE ARE NO BLACK PEOPLE ON 4CHAN.

>> No.3160429

>>3160412
Take your race mixing propaganda elsewhere.

>> No.3160433

>>3160421
>>3160423
>>3160424
>>3160426
>>3160427
>>3160428
>>3160429

This is why I love /lit/

>> No.3160437

>>3160412
Didn't happen, wouldn't work.

>> No.3160457

>google diced pineapples
>see this

http://youtu.be/j7EPUS6qJ-g

wut

>> No.3160462

>>3160457
That's the song OP is talking about, fool.

>> No.3160463

mah nigga :D:D:D

>> No.3160477

OP I feel a bit sad for you because it didn't work, so I guess you get one freebie:

OMG dirty nigras be fucking our white gurls! ALL gurls are sluts who like big nigger dicks! I feel insecure now and think my penis is to small! 'MURRICA!

feel better now?
do you want a hug?

>> No.3160488

>Times literature has got you laid
>literature
>laid
troll detected

>> No.3160490

>be Aryan homosexual
>go to college in Tel Aviv
>in a poetry class
>its an elective I don't really care for
>almost 100% cute Jewish guys in my class
>I'm the only Aryan guy
>we had to write and present a poem about 'a deep emotion you have felt'
>I recite Douglas Pearce's lyrics from "Death of the West"
>the Jews are shifting in their seats and looking visibly flustered as I read it
>finish reading it
>there's silence for a couple seconds
>the professor(cute Jewish guy as well) snaps out of the trance he was in
>wipes the sweat off his brow
>says "oy vey class...g-give him a round of applause"
>everyone claps
>after class
>approached by 3 guys for their numbers
>hook up with a separate guy in my car later
>the teacher has been giving me dirty looks ever since
>get professors number
>we've been dirty texting
>i'm gonna fuck 4 separate Jewish guys + a professor this week

>> No.3160513

>>3160490
>Aryan
I stopped reading there.

>> No.3160517

>>3160513
>Implying everyone who peruses /lit/ isn't Aryan

>> No.3160600

>steal a poem
>prof doesn't bother to check

lol community college

>> No.3160646

>be black
stopped reading there, black people can't write

>> No.3160663
File: 740 KB, 2048x1536, IMG_2012712011.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3160663

>I recite Wale's poem from the opening of "Diced Pinapples"

^___&

usin this on my girl now, pic related

>> No.3160675

>>3160412

10/10 OP

>> No.3160683

>>3160600


Hey guys, look at me. I cheated myself and I don't even realize it. Aren't I awesome?! WOOT!

>> No.3160688

>3160663
You should give the women you kidnap better literature to read than that.

>> No.3160696

>>3160688
>implying its not entry-level to get her into real lit

>> No.3160701

>>3160663
Holy fuck those knees are sharp.

>> No.3160741

>>3160412
my favorite part about the internet:
you can write whatever you want, truth be damned

>> No.3160749

>>3160433

meh could be /b as well

this is why i hate /lit

>> No.3160751

>>3160457
>http://youtu.be/j7EPUS6qJ-g

Bitch cunt motherfucker - youtube gave me a commercial for a salt-spray rough-look hair product that I now really fucking want, even though I shouldn't and it's all fucking wack and useless.

It's your fault, you cunt. All your fault. And then I get a fucking Rick Ross video? If I wanted to hear correctional officers chatting shit, I'd go back to fucking jail.

You cunts. Fucking cunts, all of you.

>> No.3160768

>>3160663
hngg
Lucky bastard.

>> No.3160778

>>3160768
Anon has posted other pictures of her. She's about a solid 5 ounce you see her face

>> No.3160791

>>3160663
> Gravity's Rainbow under bed
> No bottle of anal lube in picture
> Socks made of synethic materials, no cute designs
> Satin shorts and flannel shirt
> Disgusting foam mattress top
> You are now aware that I am fapping to your gf at this very moment

>> No.3160789

>be Christian
>go to college in Portland
>in a poetry class
>its an elective I don't really care for
>almost 100% cute atheist girls in my class
>I'm the only Christian guy
>we had to write and present a poem about 'a deep emotion you have felt'
>I recite Jeff Mangum's lyrics from "The King of Carrot Flowers Pts. Two & Three"
>the atheists are shifting in their seats and looking visibly flustered as I read it
>finish reading it
>there's silence for a couple seconds
>the professor (cute atheist as well) snaps out of the trance she was in
>wipes the sweat off her brow
>says "My God... class...g-give him a round of applause"
>everyone claps
>after class
>approached by 3 girls for their numbers
>convert a separate girl in my car later
>the teacher has been giving me helpless looks ever since
>get professors number
>we've been texting about your savior and mine, Jesus Christ
>i'm gonna convert 4 separate atheist girls + a professor this week

>> No.3160793

>>3160778
That's unfortunate. Dem legs though.

>> No.3160801

>>3160789
>tfw jeff mangum wasn't espousing religious propaganda and you just bastardized his intentions

>> No.3160802

Not a good liar, OP.

>> No.3160814

>>3160778
Do you think he had to be all like "No, put the book in front of your face, IN FRONT"

>> No.3160827

>>3160663
Oh my, those legs.

>> No.3160881

>>3160412
This one girl I met liked my bashing of Transcendentalism.

She really liked it.

In all seriousness, fuck that shit.

>> No.3160888
File: 18 KB, 316x282, 1350163124194.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3160888

>>3160789
Now all i picture is a college girl professor screaming "IIIIIIIII looooooove youuuuuuuu jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus chrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiisssssssstzz" at the height of her climax

>> No.3160906

>>3160789
>be /lit/izen
>go to 4chan
>see a thread
>they are shit posting
>making /mu/ references
>I tell 4 anons and 1 professor to go back to /mu/

>> No.3160917
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3160917

>>3160888
> college girl professor

>> No.3160965

>Irish
>trip to murrca
>recite anything by anyone ever
>instantly overwhelmed with vagina

>> No.3160970

>>3160751
Please use Adblock

>> No.3160971

>>3160778
Pics or it didn't happen

>> No.3160997

>>3160965

>English
>same story
>(also applies in Ireland).

>> No.3161013

>>3160970

adblock on youtube? what the fuck are you smoking, nig-nog?

>> No.3161014

>>3160997

>(also applies in Ireland)

Doubt that very much. I get treated differently even by southern bouncers just for having a British passport.

Unless you're talking about Ulster girls, who's accents are annoying as fuck.

>> No.3161023

>>3160663
Mmm, I like the heft of her Gravity's Rainbow. That's one book I'd read all night long.

>> No.3161049

OP I would believe you except I'm sure that someone would've recognized those lyrics. No way that happened.


Anyway, last year I was in a poetry class, was enjoying it even though I was skipping it way more than I should've been.
End up reading some of my shit from high school, real stream of consciousness-y poem, has a lot of time-skips and shit, just generally fucking around. I guess this one girl really liked it.

So she requests me on facebook and goes through all the stuff I've written and comments on a lot of it. Eventually we start hanging out and she is freaky as fuck, short, but curvy. We ended up doing E and then fucking later in the night. Was pretty good sex.

>> No.3161061

>>3161049
>having sex on E
hope the rapidly diminishing orgasms for the rest of your life were worth it :)

>> No.3161067

>>3161013
Yeah, so that way you don't have to see any ads to watch videos. Much more convenient.

>> No.3161068

literature prevents me from getting laid

>> No.3161071

>>3161061
We didn't have sex on E, it was after. I know that myth, I don't think it's true, but whatever wouldn't take my chances.

>> No.3161083

i like my women like i like my books: large, dense, with a broken spine.

>> No.3161107

>>3161049
>short, but curvy
I'm imagining a fat midget

>> No.3161113

>>3161071
it's cool, I've had sex pretty soon after taking ecstasy analogues (i.e. as they were coming down) and I'm pretty sure I've been equally depressed and anorgasmic before and after; I was just being sore

>> No.3161122

>>3161107
not that short. Imagine like 5'2". Not dumpy. She lost weight and is now ugly as sin.

>>3161113
Yeah I tried sex with another girl while rolling and I couldn't finish. It felt great but it went on forever.

>> No.3161127

>>3160412
MAAAAH NIGGAH!!! AAAAW YEA BOIIII!!!

no, really, kudos.

>> No.3161131

>>3161083

I like my books the way /lit/ loves its books - dead, white and tedious.

>> No.3161141

>>3160412
>http://youtu.be/j7EPUS6qJ-g
Look at this uppidy nigger, stealing our women.

>> No.3161156

>>3161141
it's spelt - yes, spelt - UPPITY, you dumb yank.

>> No.3161158

>>3160888
I will now see this image every time I listen to TKOCF.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

>> No.3161165

>>3161156
You realise uppity isn't really a word?

>> No.3161172

>>3161165
Yes it is.

>> No.3161174

>>3161165
http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/uppity?q=uppity
>2012
>trolling

>> No.3161179

>>3161172
>>3161174
I think that poster is just a negro trying to be cute.

>> No.3161181

>>3161172
No it isn't.

>> No.3161184

Literature has made me neurotic about love and human connection. I make way too big a deal out of it and freak women out

>> No.3161188
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3161188

>be a Pinneaple
>go to college in Orange County
>in a poetry class
>its an elective I don't really care for
>almost 100% cute coconuts in my class
>I'm the only citrussy fruit
>we had to write and present a poem about 'a deep emotion you have felt'
>I recite The Buckwheat Boyz's lyrics from "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"
>the coconuts are shifting in their fruitbowls and looking visibly flustered as I read it
>finish reading it
>there's silence for a couple seconds
>the professor (cute coconut as well) snaps out of the trance she was in
>wipes the sweat off her skin
>says "My God... class...g-give him a round of applause"
>everyone claps
>after class
>approached by 3 coconuts for their numbers
>dice, chop and slice a separate coconut in my car later
>the teacher has been giving me helpless looks ever since
>get professors number
>we've been texting about how ripe we are
>i'm gonna get 4 separate coconuts + a fruit salad this week

>> No.3161189

>>3161181
Shut the fuck up. Do I need to throw a dictionary at your negro ass?

>> No.3161194
File: 108 KB, 150x98, NES IT IS'T.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3161194

>>3161189

>> No.3161199

>>3161188

>g-give him a round of applesauce

>> No.3161202

>>3161189
It's a word made up by americans.

That doesn't make it a word.

>> No.3161206

If uppity is a word, so is negroid and fuckface.

>> No.3161207

>>3161204
Being in the dictionary doesn't make it a word either.

>> No.3161204

>>3161202

Oh, and what 'makes' a word? The dictionary?

Do you not understand how language functions?

>> No.3161215

>>3161207
Believe what you want to believe, it is a word whether you like it or not.

>> No.3161223

frindle is my favorite word

>> No.3161229

>>3161207

What 'makes' a word? Do you have an answer, or are you just sperging on me focusless?

>> No.3161270

>>3161215
It isn't a word.

>> No.3161272
File: 276 KB, 385x412, squeeze my balls.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3161272

>>3160778
>>3160814
>>3160971

u jellymad at her cuteness / being real?

I'm going to try those lyrics on her tonight