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/lit/ - Literature

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3069953 No.3069953 [Reply] [Original]

Entombed by time,
like insect in amber.
I face immortality.
Gift of eternity.


Critique welcome

>> No.3069960

Dude has my hairline.

>> No.3069966

Is that Beckett?

And I didn't really like the poem, there just didn't feel like there was much to it, short form's hard to do well.

>> No.3069967

>>3069960
C-beams will do that to you. Chemo's a bitch

>> No.3069974

-weak meaning
-form not found

That's not good, even though speaking about eternity is godtier. Little test to yourself, you should be able to explain why you choosed every single word of the poem. If you can't, that means you haven't worked enough.

>> No.3069977

>>3069953
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1mcjPZyCnjV

TIME TO DIE.

>> No.3069985
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3069985

>>3069977

>mfw

>> No.3070286

>tfw seeing things normalfags wouldn't believe
>tfw watching C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate
>implying these moments won't be lost in time like tears in rain
>tfw time to die
;_;

>> No.3070301

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1SN016jqiMN

>> No.3070343

A section from a work in progress.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s10F8M6U8ej3