/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.3049924]

Are any of you comedy writers?

My dream is to be a stand-up comedian. I always liked Steven Wright, and the jokes I wrote so far are very similar. I think I look at the world in a similar way. Do you think these are funny? They are kind of surrealistic. Can they be delivered on stage in today's world and make the room laugh?

>I like to wear my jeans the wrong way around. Whenever my earphones get tangled, I put them in my pockets for a while.
>I bought a color printer. But it didn't suit my monochrome interior.
>If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
>I when girls play these stupid games. Unless its Call of Duty.
>I went to see Inception. You would not believe the weird dreams I was getting after. I had a dream in which I was in a cinema.

Some Steven Wright for your pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPtiYU0WwQY

[Anonymous No.3049944]

What

I will say I chuckled at the vegetarian joke

[Anonymous No.3049946]

That last one isn't even a jokec

[Anonymous No.3049951]

Heard the vegetarian one before, somewhere.
Gonna be honest, OP, I didn't think any of these were particularly funny.

Keep trying though. You seem to enjoy this.

[Anonymous No.3049956]

Am I the only one who understood none of these jokes?

[Anonymous No.3049958]

10/10

[Anonymous No.3049965]

Do you guys find any of this funny?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY0dEnneEXU

Maybe these types of jokes are not good for today's world

[Anonymous No.3049966]

>>3049956

Okay got the vegetarian one. Was confused by who he was referring to by 'their'

[Anonymous No.3049976]

>I think my dog is psychic. I didn't want him to come, and he didn't.

>If you ever see a ninja. He's probably not a very good one

>I told a guy we'd agreed he'd loan me a hundred dollars. He said maybe I'd dreamed we did. I said how did he know he hadn't dreamed we didn't...

> I had a drink called deja vu. It was like nothing I'd ever had before. So i sent it back.

anybody can write this shit.

[Anonymous No.3049994]

>>3049976

Why do people laugh so much at this then?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vroWEVKnsWE

It's not much better than what you wrote. Except its being said not read.

[Anonymous No.3049998]

>>3049976
>I told a guy we'd agreed he'd loan me a hundred dollars. He said maybe I'd dreamed we did. I said how did he know he hadn't dreamed we didn't...

this one actually tickled me a bit.

op might want to read some of jimmy carr's books about the process of writing a joke. he has a similar kind of style to you, too.

[Anonymous No.3050000]

>>3049994
>Why do people laugh so much at this then?

Delivery. Same reason people laugh at Steven Wright, Michael Redmond, and Mitch Hedberg.

[Anonymous No.3050001]

>>3049924
>Can they be delivered on stage in today's world and make the room laugh?
From what I've seen in the clips you posted, this Steven Wright is not a clown, nor is he trying to be one. He delivers these jokes in the corniest of ways. The jokes are silly and tiresome, but the dreary expression he has when he recites them is where the comedy lies, what makes them funny.
If you can't make the distinction, I'm afraid your sense of humour is indeed a bit immature.

[Anonymous No.3050004]

>>3049994

I'm not saying it's not good. It's just easy. you come up with a bunch of one liners that imply a warped perspective and you deliver them deadpan. some work and some don't so you prune the list into a twenty minute set. I've been writing jokes for year. short ones and long ones. lame ones mostly. There's no shortage of good jokes. It's the delivery that sells them.

[Anonymous No.3050015]

>>3050004

Is your job writing jokes? Do you do stand-up?

[Anonymous No.3050016]

Terrible trash.

Consider this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGmmZNiSXi0

Also, Jimmy Carr has to be the best in his league.

[Anonymous No.3050018]

>>3050016
>Also, Jimmy Carr has to be the best in his league.

Maybe five years ago.

[Anonymous No.3050025]

>>3050018
I'd suggest you present a comedian better, but all in all, preferences; I'll say that Carr however has been one of the only to maintain such a flexibility with his material and yet kept it the same.

[Anonymous No.3050034]

>>3050015


I write jokes for stand up comedians, websites, twitter and facebook statuses for comedians and a few comic actors. Things like "Just because you see a guy with blue hair and somebody's hand up their ass, don't freak out. You might be on sesame street." or " If i think you're half full of shit, does that make me an optimist?" coming soon to a joke card on facebook soon, i'm sure.

It's easy to do, and hard to do well, as I'm sure these examples illustrate.

[Anonymous No.3050043]

>>3050034

Care to share how you learned to do it well? Why don't you do your own stand up?

[Anonymous No.3050047]

>>3050034
There is literally not presentable credibility to your post. How good's your stand-up: that's where real talent resides.

[Anonymous No.3050050]

>>3049924
Veggie one was nice ;)

[Anonymous No.3050052]

>>3050034

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1WyFdM0DGg

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Dolly_Parton

"Parton tells this story about a discussion she had with her manager Sandy Gallin in her 1994 biography. Sandy said to her, "How can Kermit sing with a man's hand up his ass?!" To which Parton replied, "That's nothing; I did that for seven years on The Porter Wagoner Show!"

And you don't get busted for plagarism? Do you just rephrase other jokes?

[Anonymous No.3050054]

Here's a joke: your career

[Anonymous No.3050075]

>>3050043
>>3050047
>>3050052


I don't do it that well. I'm a hack. I pull down fifty grand a year writing crappy stuff in the style of better writers and they pass the good stuff off as theirs and throw out the rest. It feeds me, but it's not a career. I'm fast though, which helps.


I don't do stand up because I have no stage presence and a hick accent.


Everybody steals. And everybody has a "hand-up-the-ass" sesame street joke. Not everybody has a Porter Waggoner joke though. gotta give it up for that one.

[Anonymous No.3050077]

>>3049924

Op do you have a skype?
we have sort of the same dream.

I have been writing for a while.

[Anonymous No.3050093]

>>3050077

send me your skype to [e-mail]

[Anonymous No.3050107]

>>3049924
I only liked the first one. Do you have any more with similar vibe?

[Anonymous No.3050125]

>>3050107

Yeah. They're in my mother tongue thou and I can't be fucked to translate them tbh. They're all the same level more or less, none of them seem hilarious to me anyway. Just watch some Steven Wright, its basically the same thing but 100 times better.

Thread got me thinking that this is a terrible idea and I should stop thinking about my dreams and just get a real job or some shit.

[Anonymous No.3050164]

>>3049944
It's by far the funniest there. It's also old as shit.

[Anonymous No.3051342]

>this thread

Yikes.