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/lit/ - Literature

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2945079 No.2945079[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Do you, and if so, read on the crapper and what?

Right now I've got God's Debris by Scott Adams going right now. Before that a history of animation.

>> No.2945082

How the fuck can people read while taking a shit?

My shits take no longer than a minute and a half to get out of my system with no straining or anything.

How fucking unhealthy can you be that you can read entire pages or even chapters while taking a shit?

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

>> No.2945090

I used to, but now it's just fact books and Onion compilations and such. Just to occupy my mind while I'm excreting waste from my rectal cavity.

>> No.2945091

>>2945082
Dude, if your shit is just falling out of your ass like that you're either not getting enough nutrition or your ass is distended from too much analasphyxiation, butthurt and other colon catastrophe related illnesses.

>> No.2945094

>>2945082
maybe they poop too big. so they have to sit there and pinch off turds that the toilet can handle as they flush it.

otherwise, they are anal retentive and can only relax their anus through reading. this idea sounds more accurate. even then i don't understand it. i crap while talking to people outside the door.

>> No.2945099
File: 85 KB, 588x369, 1340759855113.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2945099

>>2945091

>> No.2945100

>2012
>not taking a long satisfying poop
>getting colon cancer
>not eating your squatz and oatz

I shigg etc.
I usually have some garbage magazines on hand to read while I'm on the john.

>> No.2945104
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2945104

>>2945091

>>2945082

>> No.2945106

>not eating fiber
>any year after the neolithic revolution

>> No.2945109

My problem was I was playing too much electronic poker with one of them calculator hand helds and realized with all the time I waste on it I could be learning or enriching myself with some good lit. Figure I usually take long shits. Best to take advantage of the time and the peace.

>> No.2945115
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2945115

This is how I shit-read.

>> No.2945120

>>2945115
Your dick is tiny and you should feel bad.

>> No.2945124

>>2945120
grower, not a shower

although it's alarming how close they're hanging to the body. Was it really cold when you drew this?

>> No.2945126

I usually stick to magazines or news sites as its more broken up with articles etc.

Intelligent life is a good poo-mag from my own experience

>>2945082
You sit on the toilet for awhile after you are done. I've always done this as its very peaceful and a great place to think.

>> No.2945134

>>2945126
>You sit on the toilet for awhile after you are done. I've always done this as its very peaceful and a great place to think.

That feel.

>> No.2945136

>>2945126
Why would anyone want to smell their shit just to read.

>> No.2945139

>>2945136
what do you eat that makes your shit routinely smell? Only the greasiest meat-focused diet could make you smell your poop without actually bending down to sniff between your crotch.

>> No.2945140

>>2945136
They make exhaust fans for a reason.

>> No.2945161

I'm reading the wheel of time, all of it.
I'm on the seventh book so far, i lay pipe while reading about braids being tugged.

>> No.2945163

I typically sit until my legs are numb and I can barely walk for pins and needles.

Also I have my laptop, not a book.

>> No.2945165
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2945165

>only read books because you need something to read while taking a shit and continue to read after the shit is done
Shitting is the only reason i start and or finish a book.

>> No.2945164

>>2945163
Don't know if its true, but they say that laptops are irradiating mens balls to the point of being infertile. Again this is second hand info.

>> No.2945167

>>2945164
I'm aware of that. I keep it perched on my knee overhanging the linoleum paved precipice.

Also I have frozen samples.

>> No.2945169

>2012
>having a book lying in the toilet

>> No.2945171
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2945171

>>2945167
>Also I have frozen samples.

I fuck'n loled!

>> No.2945175
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2945175

Used to just go with magazines, preferably The Economist from a week or two ago.

>inb4 it's a newspaper

Currently I am reading Silence of the Lambs whilst shitting.

I find it's easy to follow and if I am having a long shit, I can usually manage a chapter or two in a sitting.

>> No.2945208

I have never taken a shit that didn't last about 1-2 minutes.

How the fuck are you niggers reading so much while sitting on the shitter? Do you just sort of linger, hovering over your stool for 10 minutes, or what?

Seriously want to know.

>> No.2945209

>>2945208
Sometimes. Really its just a matter of me only taking a shit about twice a day (not intentional just the average) and I have no reason to hurry.

>> No.2945714

>>2945167
How much cum would one have to freeze up so that one can have a vasectomy and still be sure to be successful in conceiving children?

Would be nice to have a shitload of potential kids in a fridge somewhere and fuck bitches and see if they try to trick me into babydaddying.

>> No.2945733

>>2945714
>having a vasectomy
lel