/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2819136]

Can I be a writer? This took me 30minutes to write.


"And he followed them into the land of mist and snow where warmth and heat died long ago. His boots were of unicorn hide, his staff a petrified snake and his beard as black as tar. The old hermit limped forward until he caught their scent in the wind. With a quick incantation his staff returned to life, its petrified frame crumbled revealing a smooth, black, snake."

[Anonymous No.2819145]

sure

[Anonymous No.2819158]

seriously, guys, seriously...

[Anonymous No.2819181]

Stop trying to be verbose, you're not. It's also pathetic that it took you half an hour to write 4 short sentences.

[Anonymous No.2819186]

if crap like twilight can get published so can you

[Anonymous No.2819187]

You don't have to ask permission. Just do it.

[Anonymous No.2819196]

>>2819181
It's hardly different from Hemingway's approach of discarding 90% of what he wrote.
Just start reading and writing in your spare time OP you should quickly improve, that said this setting you seem to be creating is utterly generic and suffers from the main flaw of fantasy (for me) where everything is described as being made out of some mystical material, leaving me unable to actually picture anything accurately until you describe them again (No problem with the actual act of description though as it works fine as a beginning which is what you seem to be doing)

[Anonymous No.2819198]

>>2819181

>stop being verbose

what do you mean by verbose? I was trying to be really simple, using short declarative sentences.

>It's also pathetic that it took you half an hour to write 4 short sentences.

I know. What's up with that? Am I retarded?

[Anonymous No.2819202]

Not terrible. Needs polish, and more work.

Probably one of the few times I've read something having to do with a Unicorn and didn't roll my eyes.

I say just go for it OP. You're only going to get better if you write more. But also you need to read more.

Most of /lit/ will likely burn my house down for saying this, but either torrent, buy or download Stephen Kings 'On Writing' its largely autobiographical, but tricks you with how you can turn the must mundane of shit into a story. Near the last third of the book his advice is more direct and I found it helped take away alot of the pretension that makes writing seem out of reach.

[Anonymous No.2819204]

>>2819198
Maybe. But one thing's for sure: You won't get better at something until you do it a lot.

Now kill your internet and write more.

[Anonymous No.2819208]

This sounds like a really bad fantasy novel.

[Anonymous No.2819209]

>>2819196

Yep. I have to practice more and just read & write a lot and not care about how shitty I am for a while

[Anonymous No.2819212]

>>2819198
No.

A famous writer noted and quoted for spending nearly a month on a single passage of his book. (His name escapes me) but said something along the lines of "I have the seven words I need, but don't know what order they go in."

[Anonymous No.2819215]

>>2819212

lol, that sounds hilarious. I wonder who he was.

[Anonymous No.2819214]

You already are a writer, and the greatest one to have ever herped the derp.

[Anonymous No.2819218]

>>2819214

>You already are a writer

[Anonymous No.2819220]

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-Aidan Bergman


i want to review albums for a living but i recognize the nature of the business

[Anonymous No.2819226]

>>2819136
I began by carefully placing my first hot dog on a bun and spreading a nice long line of ketchup across the top. As I took my first bite, I glanced over to my right and saw the Asian man sucking hot dogs in like a vacuum cleaner. He had gulped down two in the time it took me to put my first hot dog together, and another in the time it took me to chew through my first bite. My second bite revealed that the dandy had quickly gnawed his way through two hot dogs. Beyond him was pure horror I could scarcely believe with my own eyes. That fat man, that beast, was silently devouring hot dogs as though they were planets and he was a black hole. What kind of sick industrial evolution had spawned this creature? He was a hot dog factory on rewind, and one could only wonder if he was going to go home and quietly give birth to a live cow. The hot dogs meant nothing to him. They had no taste, no intrinsic value, nothing of interest. He looked at them as the means to an end. He savored the dogs no more than fire savored the taste of gasoline.

[Anonymous No.2819238]

>>2819226
insert remark about licking mayo dripping off footlong subs

[Anonymous No.2819239]

>>2819202

>Probably one of the few times I've read something having to do with a Unicorn and didn't roll my eyes.

B-but unicorns are awesome.

[Anonymous No.2819262]

>>2819239
no

[Anonymous No.2820190]

Don't you feel pretentious whenever you sit down and try to write? Who do you think you are??

[Anonymous No.2820210]

>>2820190
Who do you think you are to ask him who he thinks he is? Where do you think you are? What do you think this is?

OP can be a writer. OP is a writer. Write more for us OP, we are hanging on your every word.

[Anonymous No.2820250]

>>2820190
I'm about 10k words into my first work and I gotta say that I feel really fucking shitty whenever I sit down and write it. I just feel like I'm writing shit and thus the end result will be shit as well.
Sure, it's good that I'm critical of myself, but this lack of confidence limits me to 0-800 words a day.
Shit sucks.

[Anonymous No.2820292]

>>2819198
>taking half an hour to write 4 sentences

been there, done that, continue to do it. Its ok to do this sometimes, but if that's your standard pace then you will never finish anything.

If you want to write faster just try to detach yourself from grammar prose and everything else that takes time to mull over. Get the story down, even if it garbage (which it most likely will be) then you can worry about polishing and making it sound nice.

I'd say in the first draft the only thing you really want to think about is plot holes and logical errors as I find this kind of stuff the hardest to edit out.

[Anonymous No.2820297]

>>2819226
NO!
YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS!

[Anonymous No.2820316]

>>2820292


I should lay down the skeleton first before I dress it up. Trying to find the best words and structure to express a thought can be a waste of time I guess.

[Anonymous No.2820343]

>>2820316
yeah, pretty much. That way you'll at least have a finished product rather then a few pages bullshit that never actually goes anywhere.

[TC !!lk+9+QUNbcf No.2820348]

I've found the more I write, the faster I am and need less editing.

Your first hundreds of thousands of words will likely suck ass unless you're a natural. Even then, your first many thousands of words will suck ass.

I would start with short stories (2k-10k words) and go from there.

Once you get more experienced you'll find the words come more easily than the ideas and the characters. But every now and then, you'll feel like your brain has been struck by lightning, like there's a spirit or ghost somewhere that whispers his little tale into your mind.

Those are epic moments I enjoy, often I can't even type it out fast enough, wholly engrossed in some other time or place.

Just write and see what happens, but don't be hung up on things for now, just go with it. Eventually you'll find and learn ways to improve. You'll show more than tell, and your plots and characters will become better and better.

And don't listen to anyone, if all you want to write about is dragons and elves do it. If you like twilight and want to write that then do it.

When I first first started writing I emulated someone elses 'voice', now I have my own. You'll get yours too if you keep at it.

[Anonymous No.2820397]

one day jake ryan (who was a 14 year old american school boy) was in class talking about the newly released call of duty black ops trailer.

"it looks really good" said one kid
"yeah it does im going to get my mum to buy it for me when it comes out".
they all agreed that once it came out they would make a clan and totally dominate online.

but then a army man walked into the room and called them all to quiet.

"ladies and gentlemen i hAVE some bad news. russia has invaded our country. we need people with the skills to combat this russian threat and your first person shooting videogame skills make you a sure fire candidate for winning this war."

they were all packed onto buses to an army base and all given guns.
jack ryan aimed down the sights and let forth a volley of shots into the target.
he was instantly promoted because of how good he was. it soon became evident to the military bosses that jack ryan, despite only being 14 years old, was the best and last hope for america. highly skilled in guns, intelligent (but not a nerd) and also cool looking.
it was time they thought. project yggdrasil was a go

END OF CHAPTER ONE

[Anonymous No.2820440]

It was the day of the big race and John Donaldson was going to win. He had been training for over a week for this day. Last night he had followed his uncle's advice of only eating pasta so he would have tons of energy for the race.

The race starter was his best friend Jerry. Jerry said "everyone line up on the starting line" and everyone did. John saw the bully of the play ground line up on his right and made a face at him. The bully returned with a grunt because he had a face like a pig. On John's left was a really pretty girl named Jessica. John liked Jessica and wanted her to be his girlfriend but this was a race so it didn't matter how pretty she was he had to win. Then she would see he was a winner and give him a kiss.

Jerry raised his hang up and then yelled "go!"

Everyone sprinted as fast as they could down the hill. John was running really fast but the bully didn't want him to win so he pushed John down. John and Jessica went tumbling down the hill and ended up rolling to a forest. There they saw a small green man with a beard dancing and playing a small flute. When he saw them he ran off but John was really fast and caught him.

The green man was angry he got caught and said, "Hey let me go you whipper snappers! I'm a leprechaun!"

John replied "No I want to keep you as a pet!"

Then the leprechaun said "If you let me go, I'll give you three wishes!"

John and Jessica looked at each other and tried to think what to wish for. Jessica blurted out, "I know what to wish for!"

[Anonymous No.2820443]

There was a time in my simple life when nothing seemed to excite me. I moved through each day like they were the pages of a boring book I had already read. Everything was routine and pre-determined, commonplace down to the minutest of details. The only thing that seemed to brighten my life, to bring some sort of meaning to the otherwise banal exercise of living, was eating a delicious hot dog. There was something about the taste that captivated me and made me long to live in a better world – a world where hot dogs were as common as sunshine and oxygen. I spent a lot of time thinking about this world, but it was always distant and unreachable. Hot dogs simply did not translate into upward mobility, and in my comfortable rut, they seemed merely a pleasant momentary distraction.

That all changed when I saw an advertisement in the newspaper for a grand festivity sure to be remembered forever in the annals of history. The county fair was holding a hot dog eating contest, the winner earning a trophy and the title of Hot Dog King. To think, a mere commoner like me could participate and perhaps win, almost instantaneously being elevated to the status of royalty. The opportunity to be the patriarch of a hot dog kingdom was one rarely afforded to anyone, and a genuine chance to do some good in the world. The noble deeds I could do, the lives I could change, the hot dogs I could eat, it all sounded so extravagant. I knew right away that this was a contest suited for a man like me. Though I was never one to engage in the timeless art of competition, I suddenly had something to prove. This was a primal drive that, like the strongest of competitive spirits, was catalyzed by love. I loved hot dogs and this contest would be my golden chance to prove the depth and boundlessness of my love and, in the process, prove my worthiness of the hot dog throne.

[Anonymous No.2820491]

>>2820397
this shit is deep
go on go on

[Anonymous No.2820502]

>>2820443
>like

[Anonymous No.2820522]

>>2820502
Uh, what?

[Anonymous No.2820807]

>>2820397
chapter 2: american avengeance

alarms begun to ring out,
it could mean only one thing, the russians were at the military base.
the military commander looked to jack ryan with a single tear in his eye.
"run" he said "you are our only hope"
suddenly a russian popped up behind the commander and shot him several times with his ak47 while shouting "for the motherland"
jack quickly took out his pistol and fired one perfect shot betwen the russians eyes.

he quickly ran to a parked helicopter, he had only had one lesson in flying them, but he was already better than all the instructors.

he flew over to the russian base and started shooting the russians before coming face to face with the russian leader.

he stared at him with his eyepatched eye while pointing an ak47 at him
"die capitalist pig!!!!" he said as he begun to shoot at him.
jack ryan span 360 degrees and did a dive before landing 3 perfect shots between the eyes of the russian leader.

he looked as the russians fled at the sight of their dead leader. he had won, his commander was avenged. the war was won

but
thousands of miles away in china
"general ping ling, begin the invasion, america will fall. all glory to communism!"
the war was just beginning

[Anonymous No.2820816]

>his staff a petrified snake

That is a rather strange image. Is there anything else to this staff, or is it just a snake?

[Anonymous No.2820828]

>>2820816

it's a snake that's been turned to stone. it comes to life at his command

[Anonymous No.2820836]

>>2820816
It's a twisted stick. It's a metaphor.

[Anonymous No.2822590]

Bump/

[Anonymous No.2822645]

>>2820807
the great classic of our time

[Anonymous No.2822657]

>>2820807
Color me hooked.

[Anonymous No.2822683]

thirty minutes? I could write that shit in an hour.

[Anonymous No.2823236]

>>2820807
chapter 3: when the going gets tough......

jack ryan was chilling at home on his xbox 360 playing black ops 2. his killstreak was at maximum and he felt on top of the world. but for evry kill he made, it took him back to his days in ww3. killing russians with his bear hands and seeing his friends cut down before him..
he had ended the war, but it was still playing out inside his mind.
there was only one thing he could do.
he decided to reenlist.

it proved to be the right time to do it

----in china----

"general ping ling, invasion is a go."
ping ling nodded and smiled to hmself.
these american dogs would pay dearly for their capitalism.


---usa---

halfway through basic training and jack was already bored. he could do in seconds what it took other recruits minutes to do.
but things were just about to get interesting.

"private ryan get in my office" the CO said to him
he went to his office
"we have a secret mission for you now that the chinese is invading. go to this place in china and blow it up. it will weaken their communist zeal and show them just how we do it in america"
jack saluted and got on a plane and flew to china.
killing all the guards he went inside and placed the bomb blowing it up.

back in america he armed up, ready to take on the chinese who had seized washington.

the future of freedom would be decided this day

[Anonymous No.2823246]

>>2819215
>>2819212
It was James Joyce.

[Anonymous No.2823253]

>>2823236
I'm on the edge of my seat, man! The EDGE of my SEAT!

I suggest putting a random quote in a different language somewhere in there, though. I see a lot of artsy books do that from time to time, so it would make you more legit, or something.

[Anonymous No.2823773]

>>2823236
chapter 4:the american dream

Call of duty est le meilleur jeu jamais - voltaire

the thud of the boms clanged down over his head.
the chinese had made lots of ground since they landed undetected alll over americas. they were already destroying americas freedom.
ryan saw civilians lined up against the wall and shot dead.
he fell to his knees at the sight.
"you will pay for this chinese!" he said shouting out to anyone who would hear.
he picked up his gun and set off towards the chinese base.

they were taken completely by surprise. no one expected a 14 year old with a big gun to show up, but then no one expected him ever. he was like that guy out of splinter cell, a ghost.

carving his way through the chineses, he found the general.
the general was waiting for him and shot ryan once in the head.
the chinese stood over him laughing, he thought it was all over.
but ryan was just bluffing, the shot to the head only hurting him a little.
he shot the general in the chest, killin him.
he had freed this sector.
but more was to come.
the chinese were tenacious, but ryan would never rest until all were dead.
he would fight.
fight for america.