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/lit/ - Literature

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2765371 No.2765371 [Reply] [Original]

what kind of social interaction do you engage in on a regular basis?

>> No.2765388

I take to an autistic friend of mine from high school on the phone sometimes. I don't leave the house so the only other interaction is with my mom.

>> No.2765404

I talk to my SO daily. Talk to my neighbors whenever I see them, which is usually daily. I talk to cashiers and shit whenever I buy stuff.

>> No.2765409

work
hanging out irregularly

>> No.2765416

I probably hang out with some friends twice a month on average, with the exception of the summer, since all of my friends are living on Cape Cod.

>> No.2765425

i avoid it whenever possible

>> No.2765431
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2765431

I go to two roleplaying nights a week and I meet up with a friend once or twice a week to play board games and dice and hang around cafés. Every other week or so I hang out with a pretty woman and wallow in my inhibitions. Semi-regularly, I go to the pub, gigs and weddings.

>> No.2765434

My girlfriend recently broke up with me, so I'm finding myself spending lots of time by myself at home, reading and writing as much as I feel able. I have friends at University, but they don't seem to get things in the same way I do, so I find most interactions hollow at best.

Yeah, this is pretentious and pathetic, but hey, I like talking about things that inspire me. Most people I meet like talking about what party they're going to tomorrow or how much they hate their parents/boyfriend/friends/dog/whatever.

>> No.2765436

>>2765434
Sounds like you need to find a better class of friend.

>> No.2765453

>>2765436
For sure. My issue is that I'm a 'mature student' (28) and most of the people I meet are fresh out of high school. I actually don't really know where to meet other people, unfortunately!

>> No.2765455
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2765455

>>2765431
>goes to pub

>> No.2765457

>>2765455
Drinking alone is actually surprisingly enjoyable.

>> No.2765459

>>2765457
>Sedated proletarian scum

>> No.2765468

I tend to avoid going out. I very much like to spend my time indoors with my siblings. I like to just laze around home with them. I am more or less obliged to step outside every other day by my girlfriend, but we just hang outside for a while and just end up at my place anyway.

>> No.2765476

the reason i ask is that I'm struggling with understanding what kind of relationships I should have.
i currently do two things: play the fool and smalltalk with boring people, and discuss some cool stuff with people who like to discuss stuff

i guess im looking for some wisdom (knowledge from exp.) here: should I spend time with the fools and act like a fool? letting loose and dancing and whatnot is good and all and the interesting people don't do that much.

>> No.2765484

>>2765476
28 year old lonlianon here. I DEFINITELY hear what you're saying. The problem is, at least for me, I tend to feel worse about myself if I spend an entire day not working on the betterment of myself. If I spend time with people, I want to be enriched in some fashion. If I'm just being a drunken asshole shooting the shit and trying to stick my dick in some floozy, I wake up and question why I'm even alive at all.

Then I read and feel validated.

>> No.2765519

>>2765453
the other day, I sat outside a starbucks with a sign: "If you have a philosophical disposition, please sit and chat."
I've only done it once but plan to more.
in fact I saw a guy reading outside that store earlier, sat down and chatted with him, and he's not interested in philo much but likes good music and books.

>> No.2765525

>>2765484
but how often have you actually done that?

>> No.2765535

>>2765455
Eh, it's not for everyone. I sometimes play darts or do the quiz, but mostly it's meet ups with old school friends.

>> No.2765541

>>2765434
>I have friends at University, but they don't seem to get things in the same way I do, so I find most interactions hollow at best.

I know that feel. Not in a pretentious way.

>> No.2765551

>>2765476
I think a lot of people get caught up in the mindset that what they Should be doing should mirror what their peers do. This thread is a prime example op, you asked people what they do so you get a sense of what is 'normal.' In reality you should be doing what is normal for You i.e. whatever you feel comfortable and satisfied with. I, for instance go out about twice with a couple of friends I don't particularly have much in common with, and I'm more than satisfied with that. I likes my alone tiem. Just do what feels right and don't base what you think you should be doing on what everyone else is doing

>> No.2765557

Talking to my students. Don't socialize with many fellow teachers because they're like squawking chickens most of the time. Also, English teachers who don't care much about reading good literature. Ugh.

Pretty social in grad school. Was quiet at first but found a lot of cool people. We don't talk outside of class but have fun in class.

Have out of town friends I message often and local friends that I do something with at least one night of the week.

I'm just really busy... not as much time as I'd like for socializing or much else. And here I am on 4chan, oh well.

>> No.2765575

>>2765525
Done what, go out and party and feel like shit, or decline and stay home?

I stayed home last night as a matter of fact. It was the right decision, but I did miss what friends I have.

>> No.2765605

>>2765434
Twice a month*
Also,
>>2765551
Dat feel

>> No.2765599

My biggest gripe is when people tell me that i'm not drinking enough. I know my tolerance well and don't drink to excess. At least I get some satisfaction when those same people throw up in front of everyone else and have a huge hangover the next day.

>> No.2765625

>>2765575
how often have you been
>a drunken asshole shooting the shit and trying to stick my dick in some floozy

idk after learning about how we humans are just animals, i was able to loosen up a bit and actually enjoy vapid ear candy like techno or dubstep at parties and stuff--just jam to the tunes and generally try to not care so much of what other people thought of me. doing this raised my confidence at least.

>> No.2765656

>>2765551
i see what you're saying
i guess ill just be developing a somewhat balanced stance: some fulfilling interaction, some stupid cheap fun.

>> No.2765672

>>2765625
More often than I'd like. I'm not unattractive. I'm personable. I'm witty and fun. None of this means that I actually truly desire this kind of interaction. I partied and fucked because I felt like shit from my trainwreck relationships and I just saw how hollow and pathetic I was being and put a stop to it.

Put a stop to it last night. I don't like acting that way, but it gets results. It gets momentary bliss and distracts me from my underlying issues. We'll see how long I can go.

>> No.2765755

>>2765672
yeah, i see.
in an ideal world for me, all the cool interesting people want to go out a lot and discuss things.

i just like sitting down and discussing something with a cool person, but i also


ah im over-analyzing this shit again
im just gonna go out to the beach tomorrow with some sheep and play volleyball and stare at women's asses because i like them.

>> No.2765760
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2765760

Sometimes I argue with myself on 4chan by removing the name and putting it back on. Does this count?

>> No.2765793

>Hear about this club
>M-maybe I can meet someone who l-loves me???
>Go there, stand on my own
>Leave on my own...
>Go home
>Cry
>Want to die...
;_;

>> No.2765808

>>2765793
>You greentext that it's going to happen now
>But when exactly do you mean?

>> No.2765815
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2765815

>>2765371
I hope you're in the mood for soppy sad-story, because it's a'comin'.

Got a tulpa, talk to my shitty friends. Tulpa's a cool guy, most of my friends are anti-intellectual and try not to read; I keep them around to ask for favors.

I've got one specific guy I talk to often, and he's a total mess. Praises neckbeards as the best of humanity, crazy anglophile, will not stop using really shitty and unfunny irony, and, despite all this, is totally socially competent, and manages loads of friends. I guess most of them just ignore his ironic (i honestly don't know if it is or isn't at this point) racism (hates jews, thinks there is jew conspiracy, etc.).

>> No.2765826

4chan. That's it. I don't talk to anyone IRL and the occasions where I'm forced to I spill spaghetti all over the place.

>> No.2765827

y-you too

>> No.2765829

>>2765760
No, of course not.

>> No.2765831

I live in a New York apartment with six other friends who have exactly the same voice. We make sarcastic quips whenever we can because we're completely unable to conjure up a clever punchline.

>> No.2765841

I don't go out much nor do I drink that much but when I do I'm really fun and have an insane time and get in adventures with people and then I meet up with the girls I met that night and i'm too serious and lame. fuck.

>> No.2765857

I only talk to people at work. Sometimes it goes well, but most of the time the conversations fall extremely flat. Sometimes somewhat uncomfortable. I used to be very funny and witty, but for some reason lately I just have nothing to say. Sometimes I even stutter when trying to say something. I don't know what's happened to me. I don't really talk to to anyone else, besides my best friend, but even he's starting to grow tired of me. I used to be such a funny kid, even when I try to meet up with old friends from high school, or people I used to know, things go extremely badly, and I find they seem disappointed with the new me.

>> No.2765859

>>2765829
>>2765760
XD

>> No.2765871

>>2765841
just practice small talking. talk about literally anything and treat the convo as a train of thought--if something someone said makes you think or something, talk about it. if you can't think about anything:
>so what kind of music do you like?
>doing anything fun this weekend/later?
>do you have any hobbies?
at some point talk about, in very simple terms, how life is a cosmic accident and nothing really matters so you should just live and enjoy life (hint hint, have sex)

if that's what you're looking for, i think that's one way to go

also, socialization is just like any other learn-able skill--the book Outliers says your brain requires roughly 10,000 hours of practice to become world-class at something, regardless of talent. I believe this applies to socializing too--just practice talking and stuff.

one very important thing is that you shouldn't take any embarrassment seriously. just laugh it off as if it doesn't even matter, because guess what? it doesn't. it will happen a lot so don't worry about it.

>> No.2765874
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2765874

>>2765857
im the same as that. my humour used to be totally out there theatrical, now im more like al bundy from modern family.

heres a song for us http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUMh8GQnDW8

BTW people aren't supposed to spend much time alone, its unhealthy.

>> No.2765882

>>2765874
the psy. need for affiliation (nAff), yeah....
search youtube: TED power of introversion

>> No.2765888

>>2765874
>people aren't supposed to spend much time alone, its unhealthy

You're right, care to go for a game of Centrifugal Bumble-puppy later?

>> No.2765894
File: 30 KB, 329x500, quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-can-t-stop-talking-amz03073521450us-1-1[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2765894

>This thread
http://78.153.40.220:8080/browse/book/10807

>> No.2765898

>>2765888
There's a difference between spending time alone and spending too much. Although 'too much time' depends on the person.

>> No.2765899

>>2765894
I read that book a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't very good.

>> No.2765901

>>2765894
but like im not even an introvert... i yearn to have cool relationships with cool people and feel comfortable talking about my feelings and stuff

>> No.2765911

>>2765519
You sound like an interesting person, to be willing to do that.
If I had walked by and wasn't pressingly busy, I would've stopped for a chat.

>> No.2765921

>>2765911
<3
unfortunately people like you are few and far between... im considering revising it to say: "If you like talking about Ideas, please sit and chat" to attract more people
i considered like making a tally of all the people that passed by but i dont care enough lol

>> No.2765936

>>2765829
OH MY GOD A SPINOFF I'M FINALLY POPULAR

>> No.2765940

>>2765921
I would love to talk with someone like you if I saw you holding a sign, but I know my anxiety would prevent me from doing anything other than stuttering and leaving as quickly as possible

>> No.2765947

I rarely interact with anyone, unless it's for drugs or meaningless sex with a few close friends.

Otherwise I cannot stand to be in the presence of someone for more than few minutes.

>> No.2765955

i talk to people at work

never get the time to know my stories' characters b/c i'm stuck wasting 8+ hours at fucking work, then getting home and having to sleep to get up again for work

>> No.2765978

>helping friends move out
>take a break and get some shit from Best Buy
>it's hot outside, so I grab some of the overpriced drinks they keep near the register
>girl is looking in the cooler next to mine; spaghetti softly rustles in my pockets
>only one register, she gets in front of me
>feign interest in Risk: Halo Reach edition so as to not arouse suspicion
>I'm playing it cool
>lady at register is p qt
>spaghetti starts to dribble out of my pockets
>quickly shuffle up closer to the counter so she doesn't see
>"Oh, I'm gonna have to see your ID--wait, is this a debit card? Never mind, just punch in your PIN there. Are you a rewards member?"
>'n--no'
>my shoes are getting spaghetti in them as it piles around my ankles but a man must endure
>"That's a lot of drinks there, are you stocking up?"
>'oh, y-yeah'
>"Do you normally stock up on drinks from Best Buy?"
>I can hardly speak, my throat is full of spaghetti and I have to make slurping noises just to force the air to my lungs
>'n-no, I was just in the area and'
>it was a joke
>the cashier looks in horror as spaghetti begins to ooze from my pores
>as consciousness fades, I feel a dull sickening ripping sensation throughout my body as spaghetti pulls my tendons like a grotesque marionette
>spaghetti worms its way through my pupils to seize my optic nerves but I feel deadened limbs grab something large, then running
>black out

I can't go back

>> No.2766011

I talked to about three or four friends at my school, but never outside of school. besides the fact that I find conversation to be boring usually, there's also the fact that I'm 20 & still in high school (was too depressed to go for a few years), with people much younger & dumber than I am.

I just never have anything to talk about, & when I'm with people it always seems like I'm the one who has to start conversations, because they're always silent, no matter who it is. only one person in the past few years has actually approached me to talk, otherwise i've had to be the one to engage conversation, which I hate doing. I find it bizarre that people have so many things to say, because I can't ever think of anything interesting.

I'm also sort of a misanthropist, but that usually depends on my mood.

>> No.2766040

>I'm also sort of a misanthropist, but that usually depends on my mood.
I can tell.

>I just never have anything to talk about, & when I'm with people it always seems like I'm the one who has to start conversations, because they're always silent, no matter who it is. only one person in the past few years has actually approached me to talk, otherwise i've had to be the one to engage conversation, which I hate doing. I find it bizarre that people have so many things to say, because I can't ever think of anything interesting.
People are strange. The thing about typical social interaction is it is by nature pointless, essentially a game of pleasantries. You just have to learn to play the game well, and you'll be a good extrovert. Of course, that won't make you feel like the game is any more important. This is where I am at.

I ran into a group of friends who were barhopping an hour ago, and I told them I had to go home and read so I couldn't come.

>> No.2766055

>>2766040
I swear I'm not autistic.

>> No.2766076

>>2766040

you're supposed to lie about reading, now they just think you're masturbating

>> No.2766077

Barely any.
But at least I know some good people online, and I spend a lot of time with my brother, he's the world to me.

>> No.2766108

>no one here is a misanthrope because of moral reasons
fucking sociopaths

at least this justifies me to not feel any empathy towards you and i will just use you before you use me
i know how sociopaths work, i'm a sociopath hunter

>> No.2766111

>>2766040
>The thing about typical social interaction is it is by nature pointless, essentially a game of pleasantries

No it isn't.

of course, you hang out with people who go to shitty places such as bars so of course you think of it that way.
you're too much a pussy to rebel too.
scum

>> No.2766122
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2766122

>>2766111
You seem upset.

>> No.2766121

am i the only person on /lit/ who has dozens of great friends who they go out with 1 or 2 nights every week, and have coffee or some shit on most other days? there were at least 70 people at my twenty-first, all good friends. am i alone down here?

i'm only awkward half the time most of the time people find it endearing

>> No.2766138

None. The only person I've spoken to in the last three days is my 90-year-old Austrian neighbor over the phone for less than a minute.

>> No.2766150

I am eternally on Ventrilo because most of my friends are gamers and we talk when they aren't yelling 'DON'T PICK ANOTHER CARRY YOU FUCKING RETARD!' and abusing day-old HoN players. I tried playing with them once and did not care for it. Anyway, we organize shit that way.

Another friend group is helmed by a transvestite who I found out the other day is quite a famous Redditor. People know him by sight, so he must camwhore or something. Anyway, we hang out at a seedy bar called Fat Louie's, a place trying to market itself as a classy jazz bar, but can't get rid of the smelly students because drinks are still like five dollars for a whiskey on the rocks and fuck you, Louie.

My other friend is a plebeian cinemagoer and drags the group along to see every new release on opening day at midnight in VMAX 3D.

My work friendos all think I am weird, which is what happens when I am put in a group of other people, rather than selectively choose people to hang out with.

I am friends with a bunch of strippers so I am at a strip club a lot, not to watch the dancers [I think the sexiest a stripper ever is is when she is walking naked back to the changerooms and has dropped her act for a while] but to have drinks with naked girls and Tim The Bouncer who asks, 'do you want me to knock him out?' if a guy looks in your general direction. I have so far not said yes to him because his seriousness is terrifying.

My girlfriends friends are insufferable.

So I am pretty much with someone all the time, even now I am talking to Vent friends. I still have a weird loner struggling artist image that no one finds ironic.

If any brisfags are at Fat Louie's, say hi to the tranny and I will probably be there with him. We are there most nights.

>> No.2766153

Talk to my dad, almost exclusively. Sometimes, mom. when I'm around people I make them laugh, so I guess that's kind of a social interaction, even though I don't really feel "present".

>> No.2766158

>>2766150

the sad thing is a man like this isn't special at all in our society

just a big faggot, and that's okay.

>> No.2766167

>>2766150
>>2766158
That's, like, gee, IDK man, someone with a worse than average social life?

>> No.2766173

My most regular social interaction comes from work.
I see my girlfriend, friends, and family on the weekends.
I have some good friends from work also but that was later.
I refuse to go to parties or out for a drink. It sucks.

>> No.2766184

>>2766121
you would be, but then again, you're probably lying

>> No.2766187

>>2766158
that isn't okay you fucking contrary
fucking apatheist and nihilist edgy scum
you're all wrong anyways

>> No.2766204

Right now my social interaction is at my whole life's lowest: This is the third city I've lived at. I talk to my parents 10 minutes a week, I connect to fb once a week to talk a little with my friends in other cities, I am a volunteer in an orphanage twice a week, I really love talking to children, that's the highlight of my week (regarding social interactions) the rest of the time I read or paint and I talk to my agent only by mail. Once every two or three weeks I go to a quiet bar and it is a pretty calming experience, the feeling is relatable to that of being at a beach at night. I also ave a very casual "relationship" with a girl and we only see each other about once every two weeks, cuddle while watching a movie, talk and laugh and sleep together, and by sleep I mean sleep. I don't know if I should, but I feel really good with things as they currently are.

>> No.2766214

>>2766204
she probably is fucking an alpha male behind your back and laughs with him about you

>> No.2766217

Is it just me, or are Ross and Chandler (in reality, the actual actors) not that attractive? Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica all have highly attractive faces and bodies. But Chandler and Ross are, if anything, homely, average, uninteresting . . .

>> No.2766231

>>2766214
you missed the point terribly... I don't care who she's fucking, I enjoy her company and she enjoys mine (otherwise she wouldn't be coming back since there's no material gain for her in doing so). I am not in love and I wouldn't think she is either, it is just like having a good friend with whom physical bounderies are slightly blurred: I think it is beautiful in it's own terms

>> No.2766353

Once a month I meet with my friends to laugh at this puritan show and redeclare Seinfeld as the best TV comedy of all time.

>> No.2766365

I DM a newbie group of 3.5 Dungeons and Dragons every Wednesday evening.

I try to take interesting twists/ideas from books I have read or take suggestions from the players...also readers.

>> No.2766382

Overly social as a result of serious bullshittery that requires a rapport of being social.
Spends time secluded whenever possible.

>> No.2766391

>This thread

Enjoy writing natural dialogue you cripples.

>> No.2766398
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2766398

Right now, sorry as it sounds, the bulk of my non-family interactions is in group therapy (I'm currently on the DBT track). I moved to the West Coast five years ago and found a very cold social climate, so if I want to go to the bar or to local jazz concerts, I usually go with family. My wife, my son, and my in-laws get out to parks often enough and I occasionally run into a talkative fellow angler or two at the dock on my favorite lake. And there are always chatty people at the gym.