/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2743460]

>The grey-blue whorl twirled into the sky, deepening the Prussian hue of atmosphere above him. Stephen had only intended to wait five minutes in the verdant backyard of Quentin's estate, but the wait had doubled as he attempted to lounge on the underused, wrought-iron garden furniture, smoking exactly two Parliaments, ultimately deciding to chalk up his losses and go to see "AssMasters 2" on his own whilst giving the box office ticketer the impression that he would be joined later, why this cover Stephen had no idea.

How am I doing thus far, /lit/? This is the first bit of fiction I've started in a while.

[Anonymous No.2743461]

Seems like you're trying a bit too hard to sound like a writer.

[Anonymous No.2743463]

reads like a sad attempt to be joyce/proust

story is shit

5/10 for effort

[Anonymous No.2743464]

You typed all that when it could be said in 10 words.

[Benny Profane !!muO1YE/mn/J No.2743469]

>Stephen
>Quentin

Somebody's been reading the moderns.

[Anonymous No.2743477]

>>2743463
>5/10

I'll take it.

>>2743469
Actually, the last book I read was Pale Fire.

[Anonymous No.2743519]

There's something wrong (herp derp prescription) with your punctuation in the last sentence. Specifically, the bit that bothers me is
>why this cover Stephen had no idea

[Anonymous No.2745059]

>>2743519
Yeah, I'm planning on amending that.

This is going to be erotica, by the way.

Did I just blow your minds?