/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2724910]

I graduated High School this week. When my Dad said he had a present for me I thought I was getting some cheesy graduation card. But what I received was something truly priceless.

Following the ceremony he handed me a bag with a copy of "Oh the Places You'll Go," by Doctor Seuss inside. At first I just smiled and said that it meant a lot and that I loved that book. But then he told me "No, open it up." ...On the first page I see a short paragraph written by none other than my kindergarten teacher. I start tearing up but I'm still confused. He tells me

"Every year, for the past 13 years, since the day you started kindergarten I've gotten every teacher, coach, and principal to write a little something about you inside this book." He managed to keep this book a secret for 13 years, and apparently everyone else in my life knew about it! Yes the intended effect occured... I burst out in tears. Sitting there reading through this book there are encouraging and sweet words from every teacher I love and remember through my years in this small town. My early teachers mention my "Pigtails and giggles," while my high school teachers mention my "Wit and sharp thinking.." But they all mention my humor and love for life. It is astounding to receive something this moving, touching, nostalgic, and thoughtful. I can't express how much I love my Dad for this labor of love.

[Anonymous No.2724913]

... and then I spent the next 3 years after dropping out of college in my basement, fapping into my one pair of sweatpants.

[Anonymous No.2724914]

shut up

[Anonymous No.2724921]

Nice, but I can almost smell the rubber from all the plastic.

[Anonymous No.2724928]

tits pls

[Anonymous No.2724929]

faggot

[Anonymous No.2724933]

This is obviously copypasta or some shit. However, it is a nice idea.

[Anonymous No.2724932]

So your stupid cunt of a dad not only defaced a book, but encouraged others to as well? What an asshole.

either way we don't believe you and will be requiring tits with timestamp.

[Anonymous No.2724938]

>>2724932
You are a fucking moron, even though you're trolling.

[Anonymous No.2724941]

Would be nice if it wasn't copypasta

[Anonymous No.2724942]

so cheesy. whoever wrote this HAS to be american.

[Anonymous No.2724944]

>Everybody thinks I'm awesome because I'm so funny and smart

[Anonymous No.2724943]

Oh, well done you. it must be wonderful to have a dad that isn't a drunk with wandering hands. Fuck you OP, and fuck your cruel taunting posts.

[Anonymous No.2724945]

>>2724942
Look at the plug sockets and emotionless vacant eyes in the Pic, yup murrican.

[Anonymous No.2724946]

>look how wonderful my life is, guys!

[Anonymous No.2724952]

>>2724932
That's not nice.

Why is everybody being so mean?

I just want to to show everyone the human condition!

[Anonymous No.2724953]

Dr Suess, with my teachers blessings? I just want a blanket.

[Anonymous No.2724955]

ITT: Butt, hurt and too few hugs growing up

bawwwfaggot.jpg

good for you if this is genuine, OP

[Anonymous No.2724965]

>>2724943
This

Stop rubbing my nose in the fact that my life sucks OP!
But in any case, good for you.

[Anonymous No.2724971]

how gay is you're dad

[Anonymous No.2724973]

>>2724971

>gay
>you're

please go. Go and never stop going.

[Anonymous No.2724975]

obvs copypasta from elsewhere. no one posts themselves or personal sentimental stories here

[Anonymous No.2724978]

10/10 would bang

[Anonymous No.2724980]

>Gifts from parents
>Large house
>Multiple cars in yard
>White

Check your privilege and fuck off, OP.

[Anonymous No.2724981]

why would someone park that far from their house?

[Anonymous No.2724985]

wealthy enough for two cars and an iphone, but can't afford a decent table. I seriously hope that's for gaming or something and you only pull it out from under the bed every so often because otherwise you have horrible taste

[Anonymous No.2724986]

"I fucking hate Jews"

[Anonymous No.2724990]

>how quickly the shitstorm began

[Anonymous No.2724994]

>>2724986
brilliant

[Anonymous No.2725000]

>>2724986
moar

[Anonymous No.2725003]

>>2724910
That was really nice.
Will probably do it for one of my children.
Thanks for the idea OP.

[Anonymous No.2725007]

>Middle/upper middle class white girl gets present and brags about it on the internet

[Anonymous No.2725009]

>>2724910

>But they all mention my humor and love for life.
>love for life

le schopenhauer face

[Anonymous No.2725012]

It's times like these I'm faced with the heart warming realisation that life isn't actually that bad... for some people

[Anonymous No.2725014]

>>2725000

[Anonymous No.2725015]

>>2725012
Thankfully they'll always be there to remind you!

[Anonymous No.2725017]

>>2725014
>there will never be a dostoevsky picture book

[Anonymous No.2725022]

I wanna fuck you in the mouth
stick my dick down your throat

[Anonymous No.2725026]

cars
on
grass

[Anonymous No.2725028]

>>2725014
You glorious bastard.

[Anonymous No.2725030]

>>2725026
yeah this was weird for me too. I just assumed OP lives in a dry place

[deathfuck !!PklrNon/Hpq No.2725031]

>>2725014
subtle

[Anonymous No.2725035]

You had to include your face OP?

[Anonymous No.2725037]

>>2725028
If i was rich I'd buy advertising space in every major city city to put this up and gladly pay any incoming litigation fee.

[Anonymous No.2725039]

>>2725037
That's probably the reason why you aren't rich.

[Anonymous No.2725040]

>>2725039
nah that's not the reason because I wouldn't actually ever do that because it was joke.

[Anonymous No.2725041]

>>2725035
>Confirmation Bias: The Comic

[Anonymous No.2725046]

>>2725007

Definitely middle. Not even middle upper.

Hey, guess what, OP? My dad threw apples at me when I was 6. He used to punch my mother in the face until she bled all over the tiles. He tried to kill himself. Etc.

Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.2725048]

>>2725046
>IM BITTER AND CANT STAND PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOVING PARENTS

[Anonymous No.2725050]

>>2725046

No, I kid. Good for you, OP. I've planned to do something similar for any possible future children.

This reminded me of my biology teacher. When he had his first child, he decided to preserve the placenta, so that he could give it to his daughter on her 18th.

That is so fucked up.

[Anonymous No.2725051]

>>2725014
called it before i even opened the thumbnail

[Anonymous No.2725052]

>>2725048
>Look at me!
>I have basic reading comprehension
>Whoo! Pay attention, bitches!

[Anonymous No.2725078]

>>2725041

Isn't that every single MSP comic ever made?

[Anonymous No.2725088]

Contribootin

[Anonymous No.2725092]

>>2725088
>not giving him chocolate chip cookie mix
Ya dun fucked up

[Anonymous No.2725095]

If I ever have kids and decide to do something special like this for them, I think I'll remind them to have some humility about it.

[Anonymous No.2725096]

>>2724910

I take it you just came here from Reddit.

[Anonymous No.2725104]

>>2725014
I laughed way too hard at that...

[Anonymous No.2725115]

Hey op
I survived another year today (it is my birthday). When my father, who is now dead, said he had a present for me I thought I was getting another plastic bag shirt. But what I received was truly priceless.

After the burning of our village, he handed me a tiny scrap of paper with some strange symbols written on it. At first I just smiled and said I don't know what this is and that I loved it. But then he said "This the alphabet, you must use this to read and write." I turned it over and there was dirt on the other side. He tells me:

"Every weekend, for the past 2 years, I have attended a school in the next village (40km away from ours), and I have written down what I believe is most important". He had managed to keep this paper safe through the militia raids, ethnic cleansing and village burning. Yes the intended effect occurred...water slowly formed around my eyes (but not enough for tears). Sitting there and reading this scrap there are some symbols that I recognize from road signs. It is astounding to receive something so valuable. I can't express how much I love my dad for this labor of love.

- anon third world child


also captcha: aristocracy. Pubeca

[Anonymous No.2725125]

/lit/ does seem to be a rather harsh place, almost feel sorry for OP.

[Anonymous No.2725130]

The privilege of white people never ceases to amaze me.

[Anonymous No.2725138]

>lurk 4chan for years
>spend last week on reddit
>was just viewing the reddit version of this thread
>return to 4chan
>see this

[Anonymous No.2725141]

>>2725046
>My dad threw apples at me when I was 6.

My dad threw apples at me when I was crawling around the floor of the apartment, killing me. Get on my level.

[Anonymous No.2725155]

>>2725125
yeah I actually feel kinda bad now, provided it's not fake. if this genuine op, I'm sorry but you came to the wrong place/asshole of the Internet to share it

[Anonymous No.2725156]

Ah dear me, op is soooo pretty!!!

You're so fucking pretty, op, it hurts my soul to look at you!

All I want is life is to meet a girl as pretty as you and marry her ;[

plz God plz :[

[Anonymous No.2725164]

>>2725155
>Throw privilege around like a typical oblivious white person
>People insult back
>Oh I feel so bad for that poor white person!

Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.2725171]

The story is not fake.

http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/v3kg7/a_secret_and_labor_of_love_13_years_in_the_making/

Whether or not this was copypasta or the same OP is doubtful.

[Anonymous No.2725175]

>>2725141

I'm over it. There was also this one incident with grapefruits, but we don't talk about it.

[Anonymous No.2725184]

>>2724986
Mein kamf doesn't have much antisemitism.

OP: Sure, a cute gift - but this isn't /soc or /b.

/Lit: for fuck's sakes, we are better than this

[Anonymous No.2725187]

>>2725141

[Anonymous No.2725191]

>>2725187

Fuck you. You don't know what it's like to have somebody you love throw fruit at you.

[Anonymous No.2725195]

>>2725092
>not giving him chocolate chip cookie mix

This is getting a bit surreal.

[Anonymous No.2725197]

>>2725171
Actually, I'm certain this was copypasta. The OP mentions that she only just recently started using reddit, so it's dubious that she would be on here at all. This is most likely just some c/lit/ who browses reddit.

[Anonymous No.2725201]

>>2725191
>not getting the obvious reference

[Anonymous No.2725208]

>>2725164
oh fuck you. Op's comment, as ignorant or 'white' as it may be, hardly warrants the response it got - some of these comments are horrible

[Anonymous No.2725210]

>>2725195
That is the single funniest picture I have ever seen on the internet. I literally just pissed myself. I will be back post-shower.

[Anonymous No.2725211]

[Anonymous No.2725212]

>>2725201

What is the obvious reference?

[Anonymous No.2725213]

>>2725208
Whites deserve everything they get, you fucking fascist.

[Anonymous No.2725217]

>>2725211
nice MS Paint, bro.

[Anonymous No.2725220]

>>2725217

10,000 hours, just for /lit/.

[Anonymous No.2725229]

>>2725212
Kafka

[Anonymous No.2725230]

>>2725184
this. We are "e/lit/e" !

Anyways >>2724910

That's a pretty cool story copypasta or not, Probs not as proof has been shown. What I can say is that OP (the girl?) has some good writing skills.That passage was good.

May I recommend that you write a story about this? Take passages from the book written by every teacher and write short story about them, and then prop them in a tome.

This could be really good.

[Anonymous No.2725233]

>>2725213
>preferential treatment
>higher paying jobs
>beauty
>intelligence

I'd say that's about right.

[Anonymous No.2725236]

>>2725220
Damn, son. Make an effort. You could photoshop or gimp it in less than 10mins.

[Anonymous No.2725238]

>>2725236

Nah, it actually only took a couple minutes. I still haven't taken the time to figure out gimp, being lazy as fuck

[Anonymous No.2725241]

>>2725229

What about Kafka?

I should probably get around to reading Kafka at some point. Ughhhhh.

[Anonymous No.2725252]

Wow reddit is gay. Ive never been on there before.
I hate any site that isnt anonymous and hateful. Its far more entertaining that a bunch of people trying to gain some sort of status on a website.

As for the girl, its nice that she comes from a loving family and im sure she will have a happy life, but she will never have that fire that burns inside of you that pushes you to do something great.

[Anonymous No.2725254]

>>2725212
Come on, the Metamorphosis by Kafka.

[Anonymous No.2725260]

>>2725254

Never read it. What about Metamorphosis by Kafka has to do with an infant being pelted to death with apples?

I'll get around to it eventually.

[Anonymous No.2725267]

[Anonymous No.2725269]

>>2725260
Read the book, fagot.

[Anonymous No.2725270]

>>2725267
That is fucking terrible

[Anonymous No.2725275]

I hate white people so much.

[Anonymous No.2725279]

sure is /b/ in here.

[Anonymous No.2725283]

>>2725279
>Sure is no sense of humour in my post
FTFY

[Anonymous No.2725286]

>>2725252
>implying anyone on /lit/ has ever done, or will ever do anything great
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAGBKHFSVBNGDFHDGAASGBJHUNAHA

[Anonymous No.2725288]

>>2725286

*cough*

[Anonymous No.2725306]

>>2724910

Sounds alright.

On my 18th birthday, my dad told me that I was the bastard offspring of an affair my mother had 19 years before and that after my mum died when I was 10, he felt obligated to bring me up. Then he told me that now I was 18, I wasn't his responsibility anymore, and then he told me that I should fuck off, and that he never wanted to see me again.

[Anonymous No.2725318]

>>2725306
>then he told me that I should fuck off, and that he never wanted to see me again.

bet you get that all the time

[Anonymous No.2725323]

>>2725318

no u.

[Anonymous No.2725331]

>>2725318

Dude, that really happened to me, and yes, you're probably right that it happens to me a lot these days because I tend to push people away before they can hurt me, so I act like a cunt to prove them right.


What's your excuse?

[Anonymous No.2725333]

[Anonymous No.2725338]

>>2725333

Oh wow.

[Anonymous No.2725344]

dad of the year, all years

[Anonymous No.2725348]

[Anonymous No.2725353]

>>2724910
I have vids of this gurl. Her name is Lexi Belle.

[Anonymous No.2725389]

>>2725353
Lexi Belle looks and sounds a lot like this YTV host Sugar so I really like jerking off to Lexi Belle because it's like when I grew up and stopped watching Sugar on YTV I transitioned seamlessly into fucking her

Life would be pretty cool if that happened

[Anonymous No.2725394]

>>2724973
Not him but... could have been auto complete. My phone does stupid shit like that all the time.

[Anonymous No.2725402]

>>2725353