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/lit/ - Literature

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2651050 No.2651050 [Reply] [Original]

Requesting a book that will help me rectify my neurotic fuckheadedness when it comes to sex.

Main problems:

1.) I have a difficult time giving myself over to my "animal" side in bed. Sometimes I'll be pounding away and suddenly think, "Well this is just silly. I'm like an ape or something." And then I realize my erection is gone.

2.) The thought of my girlfriend looking at another guy, thinking about another guy either sexually or romantically, or comparing me to past partners fills me with a seething rage that is taking more and more time and effort to break out of. That she wouldn't give her mind and soul completely over to me is something my ego can't comprehend.

It came to a head today when I told her I wanted her to leave me the second she was even slightly attracted to another man. She said, "Well sure, if it was serious enough with him for me to pursue, I would leave you," and I told her "Even if it's not serious. If you even slightly like another man I want you to leave me." She called me irrational.

tl;dr: I need a book on how to respect the act of copulation, and also a book on how to stop being so cripplingly jealous of my girlfriend, whom I recognize to be just a flawed product of evolution, like myself.

>> No.2651055

Dear op,

you are a retard

/thread

>> No.2651061

You needs stoicism in your life.

>> No.2651070
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2651070

>>2651061

Fucking flood detection ate my pic. Pic either Aurelius' meditations or Epictetus' Enchiridion/Discourses.

Also, just to show stoicism has results:
http://www.usna.edu/ethics/publications/documents/Stoicism1.pdf
http://www.usna.edu/ethics/publications/documents/Stoicism2.pdf

>> No.2651071

>2012
>sex with females
Faggot.

>> No.2651074

>>2651050
1. You're being self-conscious about your fucking. Relax, enjoy it. Worry about things later. That is the essence of lovemaking. That, or you're not connecting to her emotionally. If she's not into it, no amount of rutting will fix that.

2. She is waffling on you. That or you're doing so to her. Pull her aside, and in private, explain that you don't care about past relationships, you care about this one. If she continues to do comparisons, let her go - she's hung up on someone else, and you'll only get your feelings crushed when her repressed feelings give way to cheating on you. Be clear, polite, firm, intense, and loving. Show her that you are here, now, in her presence, and not just an after-thought.

short version: tell her to shape up or get out. As for you, either relax and learn to share the concept of pleasure when you fuck, or just don't fuck at all.

>> No.2651079

Can I have your girlfriend's email address? I'm not attracted to women, I just want to send her an email telling her to dump you.

>> No.2651084
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2651084

>>2651079
Can I have your email address, so I can tell you to fuck off? OP's GF is fantasizing about some other guy's cock and you're telling her to dump him? Seriously, this kind of crap is why many parts of 4chan label women as something lower than women.

>> No.2651087

Get her to fuck you. If your brain has space to go all Vulcan while your prostate is getting rustled someone's doing it wrong.

>> No.2651094

>>2651084
I don't think she should dump him because of the specific dynamics of their relationship. I think she should dump him because he asks for relationship advice on a literature board on 4chan.

>> No.2651090

>>2651084

>OP's GF is fantasizing about some other guy's cock

*citation needed

>> No.2651103

>>2651090
>thinking about another guy either sexually or

Reading isn't about taking words in and filing them away. Learn to read the author's intent. You might enjoy reading more that way...

>> No.2651110

>>2651094
Let's think about this. You're also on the same said board. And you're actively participating in the discussion.

0/10
This is an exercise best left to the reader to puzzle out.

>> No.2651114 [DELETED] 

>>2651103
>The thought of my girlfriend looking at another guy, thinking about another guy either sexually or romantically, or comparing me to past partners fills me with a seething rage that is taking more and more time and effort to break out of. That she wouldn't give her mind and soul completely over to me is something my ego can't comprehend.

learn to read. OP is an insecure faggot.

>> No.2651119

>>2651103

>The thought of my girlfriend looking at another guy, thinking about another guy either sexually or

you're joking, right?

all he ever said was the IDEA of it disturbed him, not that such a thing was actually going on.

sure is dense in here

>> No.2651122

>>2651074

I've considered stoicism before, but I'll read up on it some more.

>>2651070

Thank you for not calling me a retard or a faggot.

The thing is, she's doing absolutely nothing wrong. She never brings up past relationships or talks about other men, I just project this onto her and all women (I guess because of all the books and movies I've experienced). I've never been more compatible with a human being in my life--I'm just too hung up on the fact that she, like all humans, will be attracted to people who aren't her current mate. I literally came out of nowhere and said, "If you are ever attracted to anyone else, leave me." She didn't even give the slightest reason that she would be.

Anyway, I don't mean for this to turn into a whine fest. Any further advice is appreciated, but if anyone has a book or other text that might enlighten me, I would be more than happy with that.

>> No.2651143

>>2651119
>She said, "Well sure, if it was serious enough with him for me to pursue, I would leave you,"

>She's admitting that the relationship isn't mutually exclusive from other men. Why would she even say she would leave if she was attracted, if she was already committed to the relationship?

>OP cannot sexually connect with her, is experiencing an emotional block. This comes in three flavors - he can't, she can't, or they won't. Guess which one it is.

And now we come full circle.

Human nature being what it is, she'll leave of her own accord anyways. That, or the OP will take the stated advice - "man up and admit you're serious about her and get her to commit".

Can we please move this to /adv/?

>> No.2651152

>>2651143

I really didn't mean for this to be a whiny post seeking advice. I actually do want a piece of writing that might put things into perspective. The dude posting about stoicism has been the most helpful to me so far.

>> No.2651154

>>2651143

>Can we please move this to /adv/?

yes, yes please. that we agree on.

>> No.2651202

>read bukowski. Post office. Factotum. Women.
>slap a bitch

you need to accept that you're a man. W/ huge amounts of testosterone running through your body. There is nothing wrong with how you're feeling, just what you're doing. A man needs to keep his cool... Read the books.

>> No.2651214

>>2651202

I just read Women recently, and I thought it was one of the most honest explorations of male/female psyches I'd ever read. I will read the others. Thank you.

>> No.2651215

>>2651143

>Human nature being what it is

How to tell someone is full of shit:
They claim to know what human nature is.

Human nature is like that magic bullet that says "I don't have anything to back this us but I'll assert it as fact because human nature". It is whatever you need it to be.

>> No.2651217

>>2651215

analogous to religion and some sects of philosophical thought

>> No.2651220

>>2651214

Please know that Bukowski was a misogynist piece of shit and by saying this you are too.

Thanks.

>> No.2651250

You're an insecure dick, OP. You're statement to your girlfriend means that ANY woman would have to leave you. But, to be fair, I did feel this way when I was 15 or 16, but then I grew up.

Are you claiming to not be attracted to any other woman? If you were, do you think it would okay for your girlfriend to dump you. You're a sexist piece of shit, OP. You should be fine on 4chan.

>> No.2651258

She is already attracted to other guys. I'm single now, but I don't stop thinking about big dicked athletes and sexy vampires when I'm in a relationship. Your gf eye fucks a ton of dudes everyday, most likely.

>> No.2651338

super lol'd reading this whole thread, aside from that - OP - all good things come in time and if something doesn't give within that time, that should tell you it wasn't quite a big deal to begin with, nothing is a waste of time as long as you learn from the experience, as far as books, someone already mentioned Bukowski, if you think your shit is fucked up, you have no idea until you read something by him.
I don't know if anyone else has read anything by Eckhart Tolle, but he has some fairly interesting ideas on how to take time moment by moment, look into it.