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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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2648979 No.2648979 [Reply] [Original]

So, /lit/, feedback on this short story I wrote?

Pic unrelated. Feel like I'm wearing nothing at all.

http://pastebin.com/BYuq7aWQ

>> No.2648984
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2648984

...things are going down

>> No.2648982
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2648982

meanwhile...

>> No.2648987

>crikets
>dorment

stopped reading

>> No.2648989

>>2648987

Thanks man, posted a not proof read version. But whatever.

>> No.2648995

>>2648989
If you couldn't be assed to read it, why the fucked would we?

>> No.2648996

>>2648987

also, ass-hat

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dorment

>> No.2649004

>>2648996
dorment

French
third-person plural indicative present of dormir.

is this seriously what you meant by 'dorment sun'

>> No.2649006

>>2649004

...and then we learn how to browse further, clicking the word we do not understand.

From Latin dormīre, present active infinitive of dormiō (“I sleep”).
[edit]Verb
dormir (first-person singular present dormo, past participle dormit)
to sleep

Are you just trying to be an asshole or were you born like that?

>> No.2649016

>>2649006

I'm not him, but I'm going to weigh in anyway because I'm just a cunt.

I think what he's trying to say is that dorment is a FRENCH word, and not an English one.

Oh, and I haven't read your shitty story, because I already know it will be shit. Cheers and thanks for playing.

>> No.2649021

>>2649016

Cheers mate. English sure does borrow A LOT of words from other languages. I SURE as SHIT wonder why?

>> No.2649022

>>2649021

The english word is DORMANT, so don't come the clever cunt until you can use a fucking dictionary properly.

And what the fuck is a dormant sun (assuming you ever learn to spell it right)? A big star that's just having a nice kip?

Fucking arsehole.

>> No.2649024

>>2649022

Took you a while finding that. But, I'm being friendly here. I removed it in my original version. May we continue doing what /lit/ does best? Measure cock?

I'm actually swedish

>> No.2649028
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2649028

cocks cocks cocks

>> No.2649029
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2649029

measure measure measure

>> No.2649031
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2649031

cocks cocks cocks

http://pastebin.com/9Kc3EnQd

REVISED EDITION: NOW WITH LESSER FLAW

>> No.2649034

>>2649024

>Took you a while finding that

Three minutes between my first and second post is a while?

PROTIP: I didn't have to find it, because I already knew it.

PROTIP 2: Write in fucking Swedish if you're swedish.

Fucking vikings.

>> No.2649036

Stupid sexy Flanders.

>> No.2649040

>>2649034

Expand your perspective maaaan. Gotta learn some new languages you piss drinker. Unless you want to stay dormant for ever.

>> No.2649045

>>2649040

Learn them, of course. Write in them? That's another kettle of piss altogether.

Maybe you're just as shit a writer in Swedish, but I'm being charitable and allowing that this pile of crap you've dumped on us is so awful because you're not writing in your own language.

And I still don't think you've grasped the usage of the word dormant. Keep at it though, champ. Maybe you'll eventually get there.

>> No.2649051

>>2649045

Op here. Seriously laughing. Love this place man, just love it.

>> No.2649054

WELL EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK. IT'S BEEN HELPFUL. I HOPE WE'LL MEET AGAIN.

>> No.2649055

What's the worst swearing insult you can say to someone in Swedish? I might want to start a fight in Stockholm one day.

>> No.2649056

>>2649055

I suppose that would be:

"Älgknullare." That one is really harsh. It means Moose fucker.

>> No.2649060

Or perhaps, if you really wan't to start a fight, tell them your name is Mohammed and you are waging a war against swedes.

>> No.2649064

>>2649060

generally the whole IKEA cataloge is filled with insults. BJÖRN. PLOMPIR. Holy nigger. That would really put the STAFAN into people.

>> No.2649071

bump

>> No.2649073

>>2649071

Is that another swedish insult?

>> No.2649074

>>2649073

No. It's the sound of my cock in your mothers cancer filled asshole.

>> No.2649075
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2649075

>>2649074

Well, that's not very nice is it?

>> No.2649076
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2649076

>>2649075

Sorry papa mouse!

>> No.2649077
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2649077

>>2649076

Words can be very hurtful. You should be more careful. Anyway, we'll say no more about it.

>> No.2649082
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2649082

>>2649077

word can be hurtful... yes, yes, they can

>> No.2649105

This thread made my night. Thank you.

>> No.2649111
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2649111

What am I reading