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/lit/ - Literature

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2641865 No.2641865 [Reply] [Original]

Oh shit! Zombies here!

/lit/ what authors compose your team?

pic related - it's my all-star cast

>> No.2641869
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2641869

Template

>> No.2641868

>>2641865
Why on earth would anyone pick Machiavelli as "best friend".

>> No.2641878
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2641878

>> No.2641901

>>2641878
Oh my.

>> No.2641904

>>2641868
The same retard who picks an obese neckbeard as a health professional and a fantasy/YA author as a scientist. Not to mention a female author for a love interest and a guy who shot himself in the head as leader

>> No.2641914

Leader: Hannah Montana
Scientist: Ayn Rand
Medic: Suzanne Collins
Love Interest: Stephenie Meyer
Enemy: Stephen Hawking
Best friend: Paul Jennings

>> No.2641923
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2641923

>> No.2641925

Leader: Me
Scientist: A black guy
Medic: A black guy
Love Interest: A black guy
Enemy: A black guy
Best friend: A black guy

By horror movie logic, I will be the only one who survives.

>> No.2641926
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2641926

>> No.2641930

One of the worst threads in recent memory.

Good job, /lit/.

>> No.2641933
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2641933

This isn't exactly a 'My Favorite Authors' list but more of what I think would be interesting to see. I could see Palahniuk wearing a bandanna and camo, Vonnegut is like a real life The Doctor, Doyle would the uppity brit, there's not a lot of attractive, female authors I would choose for a romantic interest of the top of my head, Poe is like a friend turned enemy, and Sedaris would be funny to see in a zombie apocalypse.

>> No.2641934

>>2641923
Leader: Nietzsche
Are you crazy?

>> No.2641939

>>2641933
Actually, rethinking it now, DFW should be my enemy because he's everyone's enemy.

>> No.2641941
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2641941

I sure hope our collective lack of prudence will stop things from getting awkward between me and my homeboy

>> No.2641946

>>2641941
>implying Jesus could write
Doesn't he get jealous easily? Pretty sure he ends up your enemy before the end of that.

>> No.2641947

>>2641934
That's what they said of Hannibals plans and look how they all loved it when they came together

>> No.2641948

>>2641947
And then Rome got their shit together, kicked his ass, exiled him and killed all his buddies, and Hannibal ended up an heroing with Rome knocking at his door. Sounds awesome.

>> No.2641949

>>2641946
Jesus was quite the scholar and competent in both Greek and Armaic. Not that it matters, he heals with magic. Also, he will confuse the zombies because he is one himself.

>> No.2641950
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2641950

>>2641946.

>> No.2641954

>>2641949
How do you know that? Oh, right, the book that says he's God incarnate also says he was a well-educated stone worker. I forgot.

>> No.2641961
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2641961

>> No.2641960

>>2641954
42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. [...] 46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. 47 And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers.

Clearly a young scholar. Or, you know, God.

>> No.2641963

Today I learned that /lit/ doesn't know what science is.

Or at least they don't know any credible author-scientists.

>> No.2641964
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2641964

>>2641954
>Doesn't believe that Jesus is the living God
>2012 in the year of our Lord

>> No.2641966

>>2641948
..Huh? Hannibal kicked shit up and down Rome for ten years, couldn't take the city or induce Rome's allies to fight, went back home to deal with the Romans harassing Carthage, and fought a losing battle against Scipio. For a little under a decade, he reformed and managed Carthage incredibly effectively, so the Romans demanded his exile. He spent like a decade as an itinerant military adviser and only killed himself in old age when he was betrayed to a Roman delegate.

Pretty successful life for one of the most brilliant military commanders ever.

>> No.2641967

>>2641949
>citing a passage that is well documented by biblical scholars to be added centuries after the rest of the gospel.

You... can't be serious.

>> No.2641970
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2641970

>> No.2641972

>>2641963 here

>>2641948
Today I learned that /lit/ knows jack shit about HISTORY too... well, I would draw that conclusion if it weren't for >>2641966 actually redeeming this god-forsaken board.

>> No.2641974

>>2641963
>Or at least they don't know any credible author-scientists.
That one. I can think of some doctor/authors but not scientist authors. Of course, I'm not really considering Non-Fiction much.

>> No.2641975

>>2641949
He wasn't a zombie he was totally a ghost. Remember how he walked through walls and shit?

>> No.2641977

>>2641961
I'd watch this.

>> No.2641979
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2641979

>>2641948
Wrong Hannibal bro.

>> No.2641985

>>2641974
Fuck. Assimov...should have picked Assimov...he'd know everything about the zombies...

>> No.2641987

>>2641974
Guy you are responding to here, I'm surprised you wouldn't include non-fiction for your scientist. One, it seems silly if only for the fact that the scientist's work is almost exclusively based in reality (ergo non fiction). Secondly, because I doubt that you, or anyone else levying the same critique would hesitate to insert philosophers, essayists, and journalists whom you admire that also deal almost exclusively in non-fiction.

Seems... hypocritical.

For the uninformed, here's a list of good scientist authors to consider adding to your retinue:

Penrose
Feynman
Tyson
Hawking
Bryson
Weinberg
Einstein
Dawkins
Wilson
Weiner
Gould
Lewtonin
Sacks
Pinker
Ramachandran
Diamond

and (for some truly greats)
Copernicus
Aristotle
Newton
Darwin
Schroedinger
and Galilei

>> No.2641988

>>2641967
>has no problem with Jesus being a magic medic who joins forces in the zombie apocalypse with a team of ancient Cynics
>has problem with his literacy

Aaight.

>>2641975
His body was gone after the resurrection. Totally a zombie dude.

>> No.2641990
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2641990

>> No.2641993
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2641993

>>2641975
Pic related.

>> No.2641997

>>2641988
>has no problem with Jesus being a magic medic who joins forces in the zombie apocalypse with a team of ancient Cynics

Where the fuck do you draw this conclusion from?

Anyone who includes Jesus on their team is an idiot if only for assuming he's an author. The second reason is that nobody in their right mind would take a lich. Lastly Jesus would subvert the whole damn thing with his "my way or the highway" approach to decisions. He'd withold medical care until they started worshiping him.

>> No.2641998

>>2641865
>your best friend
>Machiavelli
FUCKED UP GOOD MAN

>> No.2642006

>>2641998
I take it you haven't been let in on the centuries-old secret that Machiavelli WASN'T endorsing the ideas written down in the Prince and was, in fact, arguing AGAINST tyranny by making the playbook available to the masses to educate themselves. (Just as voltaire was NOT endorsing the Leibnitz-proported concept of earth being "the best of all possible worlds". Machiavelli was far more subtle; and for good reason).

>> No.2642005
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2642005

>>2641997
>our lord jesus christ
>not the very incarnation of love

Stop trolling.

Also, Jesus could read, so it would be pretty save to assume that he could write.

16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read. 17 And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written, 18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. 20 And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him.

>> No.2642008
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2642008

>Machiavelli
>"best friend"

i can see that ending well.

>> No.2642013

>>2642006
oh man, this again.

Do you have proof? No you do not. You have the fact that he was under threat, and wrote a book about democracy. This really does not mean what he wrote in the prince was deliberate misinformation at all, it just means he wrote something under duress.

If you look at the prince, it is a fundamentally patriotic book. Machiavelli wanted Italian unification to prevent the country from being split to pieces, and sure enough he tries to guide the prince towards this. Further, Machiavelli wants a respectable ruler and argues for through the material benefits given for appearing to be one. He is arguing for a benevolent monarchy because he understands it is the most realistic goal at the time.

but no, it has to be LOL DEMOCRACKCIES HE WORTE IT AS A JOKKKKKEE HA HA HA SO FUNNY M Y ENGLISH DEGREE PAINED OFF!1!!

Get the fuck out

>> No.2642017
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2642017

>>2642005

>> No.2642019

>>2642017
Yeah, reaction images when you have no retort. Real mature.

>> No.2642038

>>2642019
Wait do we have a genuine believer here?

So you really take the Lukan account as written?

>> No.2642045
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2642045

>insinuating imperfections

>> No.2642048

>>2641987
you're using the term 'author' rather liberally. basically anyone who has ever written anything can be included. i narrowed it down to credible fiction writers to make it meaningful to lit as opposed to phil or sci

>> No.2642051

>>2642048
Ah, fair enough!

>> No.2642056

>GRRM as medic
>even though he kills everybody in his books
You'll be dead in a week's time.

>> No.2642058

>>2642038
It IS written..

>> No.2642070

>>2642058
thought so...

Alright. So I'm happy to concede the assumption that, among the various gospel claims about Yeshua of Nazareth, he was literate. That being said, it raises the amusing question as to WHY such a figure would leave his account and teachings to second hand accounts.

However, that doesn't begin to scratch the surface of biblical historicity... which I would encourage you to examine for yourself.

>> No.2642071
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2642071

>> No.2642078

>>2642045
>Captoe
>enemy

Makes sense,

>> No.2642099

>>2642078

he always struck me as a unnervingly gregarious, exaggerated character. like dr evil or something.

plus he had that obsession with that serial killer guy. sinister shit imo.

>> No.2642111

>>2642070
Buddha was literate, he was a prince of the highest education, and still he left the writing to his students. Socrates didn't write his own accounts either. If anything, I would say that it's exemplary of the guru role rather than opposed to it.

>> No.2642119

>>2642111
Back in the day personal transmission of knowledge was often deemed superior to written one. With which they had a point, of course.

>> No.2642134

>>2641868
Someone who's also read the Discourses, i.e., has a grasp of Machiavelli beyond the cursory "Ends justify the means" interpretation.

>> No.2642145
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2642145

>>2642045
You will never be Saint-Exupéry bro

>> No.2642480

>>>/b/

>> No.2642540
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2642540

This is boring.

>> No.2642546

>>2641865
Your best friend
Are you serious son?
That's totally going to end well for you /sarcasm

>> No.2642565

Ha anyone the template that also has stronghold?

>> No.2642582

>>2642071
You. I like you.

>> No.2642598

Leader: Kurt Vonnegut
Scientist: Philip K. Dick/Arthur C. Clarke
Medic: Hunter Thompson
Love Interest: Emily Dickinson
Enemy: Nietzsche
Best friend: Oscar Wilde

>> No.2642611
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2642611

>>2642145

>> No.2642613
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2642613

hihi

>> No.2642623

>>2642598
>Kurt Vonnegut
>Leader
Real inspirational when your leader's default stance is "we are so fucked right now" even without a zombie apocalypse. He's probably decide that zombies have more right to inherit the earth due to their lack of 'big brains'.

>> No.2642796
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2642796

>> No.2642801

What is this shit

>> No.2642856

>>2642796
>woolf
>love interest
shiggy me timbers

>> No.2643597

Virginia Woolf is ugly as fuck. Looks like Oscar Wilde with a different haircut.

>> No.2643965

bes hrread ever

>> No.2643975

>>2642598
>Medic: Hunter Thompson
i lol'd

>> No.2643979

>>2641865
J.K. Rowlling as scientist; are you high?

>> No.2643985

OP here, bump for moar

>> No.2644099
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2644099

>>2643985
mine

>> No.2644120
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2644120

>>2644099

>> No.2644123
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2644123

>> No.2644199

>>2644123
>dat leader
>dat friend
>dat existential egoist taoist like worldview type of thing

I would join this party.