Poetry thread

[Anonymous No.2632343]

Come on champions lets see what you've got.

Discussions more than welcome but I'm primarily interested to check your styles.

Here's one of mine,


Bouncing
off walls, alleys and corridors,
covering all in a split second
it flits and beckons,

“It's a brand new day,
what have you to say?”

Tinted red from opposing bricks,
wedging itself under eyelids,
it paints the castles east to west,
this coat will stick.

“I refresh your world, now drink!”

Slowly we react as one,
the opening act's rhythm begun,
women and men with daughters and sons
sounding off in hearty unison,

“Please your lord an hour more,
the wind is cold and our beds are warm
was it bleary eyes you were searching for?”

so now we pray to alarm clocks.

[Anonymous No.2632352]

bump

>seriously, no one interested?

[Anonymous No.2632362]

As lilied draw the gilded from their
corners in the blanket fog
come nether also hellfire sprung
all eyes and eyes neglected
to reap wild naked all the lying seed

The Godhead rises to the keel of kneeling limb
arched and tiltlike as the brows of they
Sisyphus in flesh and plastered marble
wretch'd and lashed and only for a throe in lusty Peitho

Their bellows echo swelling thrushed and gulletborn
in vain
and rhapsody
though faint and near unseen
Come harp and sound
and savage wind
and all that kindling peppered down
They're feverborn and calling out and
lilting heavens voice ere daylight's eve.

[Anonymous No.2632377]

>>2632362
bumping since I assume you didn't mean to sage that...

Standard sex poem yeah? Bare in mind I read everything sexually before I actually get it.

[Anonymous No.2632411]

A poem from the other night, haven't revised it much yet

Rain, it patters a
calming sound
uneven and ever flowing
the other things
producing strain
washed away.
shhh, it says
natures gentle massage
sincere, unlike our
ill humor, lack of trust,
and general selfishness.

let it take you
if you listen closely
feel the sway
something about water
so real, fends off
doubt and nay-say.
A moments rest
release and secret joy
thanks for hope and protection.
I cannot hate anyone
when the sky is crying.
We share our empathy
it wants me to focus
eliminate distractions
wait for hours
and lay.

Fuel for a one track mind
self interrogation
can't tell if you are
a distraction or the goal
an objective or an obstacle
brain cancer or the life force
Preoccupation like
I have this habit
of distant desires
but within reach
and if I could hold your
gaze for just a minute
and not surrender it
to the pantomiming environment
keep your interest
like an extended meteor shower

and yet I know that I've definitely been here before.
Poor Cujo was actually a gentle dog before he was bitten by a rabid bat.

[Anonymous No.2632417]

>>2632411
Is it about depression and all that lark?

What do you think about the others?

[Anonymous No.2632453]

Someone yelled out something
Like Moses
God knows what they wanted
Maybe roses

I willed the lights to change
and swung my arm
The button clapped
But made no difference
Someone had got there first
And someone else
backed them up

Today my will wasn't strong enough.

[Anonymous No.2632462]

Dig the first poem, especially the red bricks imagery and pleading in the morning.

The second poem- great sounds and rhythm, a bit abstract for me but it feels very sensual

[OP No.2632464]

Come on guys lets get some constructive criticism going as well, what you like, what you don't etc
>>2632453
Why so sad? :(

[Anonymous No.2632467]

>>2632453
Nice. I dig that one a lot.

[Benny Profane !!gqdihmBfv+n No.2632468]

>>2632377

Yes. It's about fucking, essentially. Quite more than that, but that's mostly what it's about

[Anonymous No.2632478]

>>2632462
Also, yea not so much depression as it was a dance between the soothing rain and the tendency I get when writing poetry to be critical of myself and others.

[Anonymous No.2632480]

I would seem like a gigantic faggot if I posted my prose poetry or do you welcome that sort of thing?

[Anonymous No.2632483]

would share, but i fear critique

[Anonymous No.2632488]

Would I seem like a gigantic faggot if I posted my prose poetry or are you okay with poetry that isn't in verse. My impression is that /lit/ thinks not verse poetry is lazy and I kind of agree with that.

[Anonymous No.2632495]

>>2632488
Post it. I personally don't see the difference, if it's got poetic quality it'll come through via any means.

[Anonymous No.2632516]

>>2632467
Don't make me blush.

>>2632464
Not sad, just confused.

I will try to write on others' work, but am really bad at it.

>>2632343
'sall right. Could have done more with the emotive content of the imagery. Felt like it was there only to be pretty, which some of it was


>>2632362
Don't know what to say. Didn't really get into it. Probably a fault on my end.

>>2632411
Think this is a bit too blunt. Plus when you revise you will see the unnecessary words. Not too bad, needs work.

[Character Corwin !!ck2126MfhZD No.2632531]

>>2632488
>>2632495
1/2
I sing to you my love, my love running through shadow covered fields of starry night, the wind speaks my words and wraps you in my heart’s embrace, and my eyes begin to rain, covering you in sad desire that drips off your muddy-long fingers and runs down your leg, the universe running through your thigh. Can’t you hear me? Listen to the tapping of my pen against the desk, a jazz riff without pattern, a firework upon the ivory covered wall of a French palace, a starving dog with the world in his dish.

The red bamboo motorcar takes me high into the mountains, my ears popping with chewed gum, and I can only think of you as I ascend beyond the clouds, beyond stars to heaven where me and the angels evaluate my feelings and your biography, our love just one in His eternal book, a book that He is ever erasing, cruel aeon.

I am the man who has ascended to the third heaven, I am the woman who has been resurrected from hell and can no longer go back, you are the stag worshipped by ancient shamans of long ago, you drink from the clear stream under the vast forest feeding the ocean with its dark dwellers. Sing dear creatures, sing of the volcanic heat within your ice, a heat rising, generating primordial life. These deep sea chimeras with their jaws of odd geometry and their lights shinning from within, their irrelevant eyes closed watching, yes these are the witnesses to my reaching love.

Your eyes are closed, beneath your lids swim electric swarms of infinite space, the beating chest echoing through the cavernous skull. So here I am a diver of the heart, my helmet thick and heavy, my boots stuck in mud-molasses. And your words skip across the surface above, a faint trace from here down below, where the sun is but a white orb that tells me up from down.

[Character Corwin !!ck2126MfhZD No.2632535]

>>2632531
2/2
Your kiss is the reverse Lovecraftian deity, the smile that takes a million shapes, tying a millstone to my eye, imprinting madness into my head, without noise, a slow frostbite, burning. The suggestion of it hurts. My loneliness dissipates in pain.

We converse about situations and silly things; my mouth is sealed to truth. I hear only my failure on your ignorant lips. You leave to live your life and see me tomorrow, but you do not know that I cannot put you off like the others. You do not belong to tomorrow but to eternity.

With you my eyes only water, but without you they cry.

[OP No.2632686]

Deep

Also don't be fags post away

[Anonymous No.2632690]

On evil dayes though fall’n, and evil tongᵫs
In darkneſs, and with dangers compaſt round,
And ſolitude; yet not alone, while thou
Viſit’ſt my ſlumbers Nightly, or when Morn
Purples the eaſt: ſtill govern thou my Song

John Fucking Milton

[Anonymous No.2633170]

Evening tripped and spilled
the sky like indigo into a bowl
of diamonds, sticky and precious.
I’ve gone young again, suddenly,
and trace the imagine of his
body with a steady finger. Night
watchman. Once, waiting to be
thirteen, I drank myself to sleep;
the clear, immaculate hands
touched my bright gold head,
and I woke again, cold and breathing.
Perhaps I am waiting, still, for a man
who can’t lay a hand except
to lighten the heavy body as it cools.