Worst Book You've Ever Read

[Anonymous No.2583743]

/lit/, today we're gonna do something a little different. Let's not talk about good books, or book recommendations. Instead, let's have a nice friendly chat about worst fucking thing you've ever read.

Pic related, my girlfriend told me to read this shit and holy balls it was terrible. Like, My Immortal bad, except without the spelling errors. I couldn't even read like 5 words without laughing at it.

[Anonymous No.2583750]

Twilight series. Seriously, I thought maybe some of the hate was because it's cool to hate things that are popular.

I read them and thought that decline of western literature had begun. I can't even fathom how something like that even got published.

[Anonymous No.2583754]

Does My Immortal count? Because that's really ass.

[Anonymous No.2583757]

>>2583754

I said BOOK. That's a fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.2583758]

>>2583743
Does everything have a Twilight cover these days? Fucking shit.

Anyway, the worst book I ever read? A friend recommended to me an Anne Rice novel. I believe it was Queen of the Damned. It was pretty bad, mostly in just how cliche it was: it was like everything you ever suspected about her work distilled into one book.

[Anonymous No.2583761]

>>2583758

Not OP, but Night Star and the rest of the books in the series are basically just Twilight except worse.

[Anonymous No.2583765]

>>2583761
> are basically just Twilight except worse.

God damn.

[Anonymous No.2583768]

>>2583754

I see your My Immortal and I raise you one DAVE STDIDER POKEMON TRANER

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7942034/1/DAVE_STDIDER_POKEMON_TRANER

[Anonymous No.2583771]

>>2583765

I actually wish I was kidding.

[Anonymous No.2583772]

Talking about how much we hate something is different? All /lit/ talks about is what they hate.

[Anonymous No.2583775]

>>2583772
THEN LET'S FUCKING CHANGE THAT SHIT FELLOW ANON

I like Les Miserables - it is my favorite piece of fiction. What about you?

[Anonymous No.2583778]

mostly things I was forced to read in highschool.
Usually if I dislike a book I can just move on. but in highschool you're forced to read it. this breads nothing but contempt for the book.

Wuthering Heights and catcher in the rye

[Anonymous No.2583783]

worst reads...American Gods comes to mind.

I've never been able to get through a Dickens novel. Obviously it's not that the writing is bad, I just find them intensely boring.

[Anonymous No.2583790]

>>2583768

...WHY DOES THIS EXIST?

[Anonymous No.2583801]

Motherfucking ROMEO AND JULIET.

I have nothing against Shakespeare. I love Macbeth, and Hamlet's pretty good too. He has a lot of enjoyable material.

But Romeo and Juliet can go fuck themselves. As soon as Mercutio and Tybalt died, and Benvolio vanished from the story, it got REALY shitty.

[Anonymous No.2583804]

The Eye of Argon. Simultaneously the funniest bad book I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.2583811]

how to read literature like a professor. had to read it for an ap class in hs. even the idea of such a book flies in the face of anything on this earth that might be sacred. it is the crumbly jock-itching flakes on the atrophied flaccid cock-mold of the hard shell that has replaced the soul of the west. literally.

[Anonymous No.2583819]

Twilight. All of it.

[Anonymous No.2583825]

>>2583768

Oh holy shit ahahahaha. I love this shit.

>Best line:
dave tok the box and thanked luigi but he wuz not luigi he wuz MASTERCHEIF

[Anonymous No.2583831]

This book has the cover that it deserves.

[Anonymous No.2583829]

>>2583825

Personally, I'm partial to "Suddenly kitkat", myself.

[Anonymous No.2583841]

>>2583831

This reminds me of Discworld.

[Anonymous No.2583920]

I'm not even sure what I hated so much about it.

[Anonymous No.2583927]

the mother fucking Marino Mission http://www.amazon.com/The-Marino-Mission-Need-Know/dp/0764578316

[Anonymous No.2584158]

>>2583758

First two Vampire Chronicle novels were good, but she seriously jumped the shark with Queen of the Damned. You have the villain being a goddess from nonexistent made up classical history who wants to kill all men (except her fuck buddy, and gays because they're nice and don't rape women) to create a feminist utopia. Then at the. End Lestat and Friends (tm) defeat he in a magical battle, after an unnecessary flashback about two women from ancient made up classi cal history getting raped for no apparent reason.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. Every book after that gets progressively worse, but in a different way.

[Anonymous No.2584166]

>>2583831

Oh god sword of shannara. It's like someone challenged Terry Brooks to write a book with the most trite setting, boring characters, (as in the characters literally had no personality) and uninteresting writing style imaginable. Also, lol @ "skull kingdom" (is that an abandoned idea for a Disney theme park) and sphincters. Not to mention the wise old wizard character has a name that lends itself to bad puns about alcoholics anonymous. Guess it can be forgiven when you remember the author was basically going for the feel of all the bad cult fantasy films that came out around the time the book was written. That book still wins an award for unintentional goofiness.

[Anonymous No.2584168]

I can't believe no one in the thread has mentioned the Circle of Light series.

[Anonymous No.2584182]

The Diary of Anne Frank. Teen angst with no real historical context and little relevance to the events that were happening in the greater world. It serves only to prove that ignorance and self-absorption have been traits in teenagers for all of human history. Sure, it's interesting as a found manuscript, but when you realize just how much of it was revised or simply rewritten before publication, even that loses its appeal.

[bloop No.2584242]

Twilight...i feel ashamed to even mention the name...

[Anonymous No.2584326]

Hands down , "a million little pieces". I bought I when I was 15, because I liked the cover. It just had the most annoying innner dialogue ever , and the worst the subject matter of substance addiction was treated just..moronically.
I just had a re-acquaintance with it via Google

"“Everything I know and I am and I have seen felt done past present past now then before now seen felt done hurt felt focus into a something beyond words beyond beyond beyond and it speaks now and it says.
Stay.
Fight.
Live.
Take it.” And it just goes on an on , like an entire book made from the courage wolf meme.
Years later I found out the author was a fruad and had lied about everything in this "true story" , I wasn't surprised.

[Anonymous No.2584356]

A series called House of Night by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast. It was so awful and cliche.

[Anonymous No.2584722]

Finnegan's Wake. I honestly own it and read it.

[Anonymous No.2584733]

Twilight. TwilightTwilightTwilight.

What's worse is that it really helped kicked off this whole supernatural romance phase that's plaguing literature at the moment.

Seriously, every little fucking thing since then (and even a bit before) seems to be some kind of supernatural romance novel. The "monster" is always some tough guy with a soft side and the "villain" is related to the monster or something. But it doesn't matter 'cause they'rebothtotallyhotandohmygodsqueeee.

Fuck pandering to teen girls and bored moms.

[Anonymous No.2584744]

>>2584722
Finnegan's Wake is a song brah.

[Anonymous No.2584749]

>>2584722
>>2584744
>finnegan's
>claims to own it

[Anonymous No.2584907]

Eragon, and the entire series in general.

Terrible, fanfic-tier writing, a mary-sue character, bad world building, flat character, and a more basic black and white morality than a child's cartoon.

[Anonymous No.2585244]

I remember reading Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising when I was about 12.

It was so dry and boring. Rather read Marx.

[Anonymous No.2585256]

>>2585244
fuck off and die The Dark is Rising is like the best kids' book ever. I am 90% sure there is something wrong with your brain, I recommend self-lobotomy.

[Anonymous No.2585294]

Paul Auster Leviathan comes to mind. Those people, I hated them. But not in any useful or eye opening way.

[Anonymous No.2585366]

>>2585256
I liked The Abhorsen Series, The Pendragon Chronicles, Artemis Fowl, and Animorphs at roughly that age.

Cooper did a wonderful job at making the reader as confused as the protagonist, but it all just bored my brain to tears. Something could very well be wrong with me.

[Anonymous No.2585394]

>>2585366
>Artemis Fowl
Those were pretty good, up until the 5th or 6th.

[Anonymous No.2585419]

>>2583768

AVOID THEM AT ALL COPS

[Anonymous No.2585425]

>>2583768
Thank you sir for introducing me to XxXCascadaerXxX. This is fucking brilliant.

[Anonymous No.2585428]

>>2583927
>Alexa McCurry leads an ordinary teenager's life in upstate New York—until she embarks on a summer adventure in Central America. While working at a potentially boring internship in a marine DNA lab
>potentially boring internship
>Central America
FUCK RICH PEOPLE. GODDAMN RICH KIDS WITH THEIR INTERNSHIPS IN EXOTIC LOCATIONS AND THEY DONT EVEN APPRECIATE THEIR STUDIES OR THE LOCALE. FUCK

[Anonymous No.2585435]

>>2585425
Not that guy, but there's no way that author isn't a troll.

[Anonymous No.2585980]

The Orchard Keeper by Cormac McCarthy
The Art of Racing in The Rain by Garth Stein
The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury

Wuthering Heights.
For me, reading Shakespeare is equivalent to watching grass grow.

[Anonymous No.2586645]

>>2583768

Dude wrong thread. DAVE STDIDER is amazing.

[Anonymous No.2586697]

>>2583831
I read this book when I was in elementary school. It was so bad that when I put it down once and some girls moved my bookmark as a joke, I didn't even notice that I was 200 pages off from where I had left off. I just thought "wow this book has shitty plot."

[Anonymous No.2586715]

What if I were to write in bad Kerouac pastiche. What, then, if I were to add to this, a bunch of fucking Lovecraft mythos shit, because why the fuck not, and then literally write in first person, myself-as-Kerouac, having adventures with "the Beat generation". And then I save the world. From the monsters.

[Anonymous No.2586747]

The Midnight series was awful. It was a teenage fiction book with a Muslim ninja growing up in Harlem. It was awful. It was assigned for a writing class at the uni,CSUN, and I can't believe how bad it was. The thing that was really annoying about the whole assignment was that my teacher was some ex-black liberation member that acted like a pedantic ass.
I was so disappointed because I was hoping to read stuff like Invisible Man or Black Boy, but I ended up reading that garbage.

[Anonymous No.2586753]

I tried reading Divergent because my friend recommended it after The Hunger Games. Absolute shit, read like a bad fanfiction. Couldn't get past the first two hundred pages.

[Anonymous No.2586780]

>>2583768

>"watch out 4 team bad and ther leaders jack and karkart they wnat to steel all the pokemn and kill u."

>"oh no"

>"u must avoid them at alll cops."

>"but frist oak warnered him"
>"frist oak warnered him"
>"oak warnered him"
>"oak warnered"
>"warnered"

This is comedy gold.

[Anonymous No.2586806]

>>2586780

Just wait until Team Bad actually shows up. "Karkart"'s name is like, always spelled wrong

[Anonymous No.2586817]

>>2583783
2nded

american gods was pretty unbearable

[Anonymous No.2586856]

I actually got as far as halfway through the Mission Earth series before I gave up. Do I get a medal?

[Anonymous No.2586865]

Oddly enough the worst book I've ever read was written by the author of one of my favourite all time books.

William Gibson - Neuromancer -god-tier
- Spook Country - couldn't finish it
shit tier.

[Anonymous No.2586868]

>>2586780

randomly misspelling words

that's some comedy gold, alright

god you fucking rube

[Anonymous No.2586901]

When I Was Puerto Rican- Esmerelda Santiago

Had to read that in 9th grade English.
That book's narrator was the single most unlikeable person I have ever encountered in a book, which is especially sad considering it's a memoir and not fiction. She's racist, sexist, and in general horrible, but she maintains this unbearable sense that she's just an innocent child. Then at the end it's revealed that she later went to Harvard, despite being a dumb, obnoxious cunt. There was not a single character I liked in this book. My biggest problem with it, though, was that I could not figure out why on Earth the author thought her story was interesting or important enough to publish.

[Anonymous No.2586926]

A Separate Peace

Goddamn I hated that book.

[Anonymous No.2586942]

It's a tie between "The House on Mango Street" or "The Diary of Anne Frank"

The dairy of Anne Frank is just a mundane work of normal teen hormones; it's just used for the "Nazis and WWII were bad, mmmk?" type thing in schools I think.

House on Mango Street I picked up as a quick read since it is so well revered...waste.of.time. I'd honestly would rather read the first Twilight novel.

[Anonymous No.2586960]

>trite, pretentious, semantically masturbatory hipster bullshit

[._. No.2587007]

Worst book ever?

Miley Cyrus-- Miles to Go.

Fact.

[Anonymous No.2587027]

Depends on what you mean by "worst". I mean I've read some stuff that I consider abominations to the English language, but that doesn't mean they're necessarily bad: just improper. Really, what I consider the worst is something I hate in terms of the ideas presents: Ayn Rand, CS Lewis, John Eldredge. There's a lot more. Oh and James Patterson sucks

[Anonymous No.2587046]

>>2583768
> "oh no" dave said "this is not good. how can i bee champ if im ded?" exzackly oak sed u must avoid them at alll cops.
Oh my god my sides.

I wish I didn't have to read shit like this every week.

[Anonymous No.2587048]

>>2587027
the fucking Fountainhead. Oh man, that was bad. I think it was only made worse by the random sparks of potential and occasional interesting characters. It just dragged and dragged and then ended in herpderp no such thing as victims any jury would acquit him for fucking bombing a building over a fit of being a prima donna etc

so much bullshit.

[Anonymous No.2587099]

Usually if a book sucks, I drop it and forget it. Although I still get these waves of nausea when I hear:

A Separate Peace
The Dew Breaker
The Prince and The Pauper (I'm convinced this is purely trolling material)
Anything by Terry Brooks

I'm forgetting a ton but I guess I don't hate them with enough passion to remember them.

[Anonymous No.2587102]

Does it count if we didn't read the whole thing?

My ex tried to get me to read the first twilight book, and I tried, oh how I tried, but I could not. It was bad.

[Anonymous No.2587138]

"Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

Nothing but made up bullshit about drugs.

[._. No.2587328]

>>2587099

Why the hate on Terry Brooks?

I liked the voyage of Jerle Shannara when I was a youngin'

[Anonymous No.2587333]

Pilgrimmage to Hell

[Anonymous No.2587358]

>>2586960
You are a terrible person.

[Anonymous No.2587360]

Brevik's manifesto was god damn awful.

[Anonymous No.2587426]

Man, i did not want to read about coprophilia.

[Anonymous No.2587434]

Hairstyles of the Damned.

It's embarrassing even to type it.

[Anonymous No.2587621]

Eragon.

Shit sucks yo.

[Anonymous No.2587637]

The Shack

[Anonymous No.2587641]

>>2586960
please be a troll or I will feel genuinely sad for you, and sad in general

[Anonymous No.2587657]

>>2587621

Justice must be made: the author was a 15 yo fanfic writer kid.

[Anonymous No.2587659]

I found Dracula quite boring ... not sure if it was because I read it in portuguese (my native language), but I couldn't bear it. Also I read it next to Frankenstein (which is absolutely pure gold), so no way I could enjoy that stuff.

[Anonymous No.2588247]

Inkheart.


FUCKING INKHEART.

[Anonymous No.2588403]

I'm going to interpret "worst" as meaning "worst personal experience with a book."

Fuck this book. It's awful.

[Anonymous No.2588426]

Fucking spearwielders tale by RA salvatore. I was young and stupid and bought it thinking OH DRIZZT IS SO COOL AND EDGY.

then i got shit on shit on shit.

boy finds magic world cant believe it cliche is now the hero.

fuck i was pissed i only finished half of first book.

[Anonymous No.2588454]

>>2583768

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7635987/1/The_bDragon_b_bBorn_b

A challenger appears

[Anonymous No.2588463]

>>2587659

Are you me?

[Anonymous No.2588468]

>>2588454

Challenge accepted. DAVE STDIDER is still worse. See, The Dragon, Born is really shitty, at least it's coherent.

DAVE STDIDER is like a bad acid trip

[Anonymous No.2588487]

>>2588454
>Legens don't burn down villages," said Jarl Ulfric, rubbing his mouth with his sleeve to get the awful taste of band aid off his tongue. He must be talking about the dragon, since that's what people ever talk about nowadays.

>One thing happened after another and I was led by Ralof up the tower, when the dragon popped its head in and breathed fire on us. I crouched the moment it bust through the wlal, but Ralof didn't scoot fast enough and got baked but survived somehow. Now that there was a hole in the wall, he told me that I had to jump out into the inn outside. I said, "No way! I'll break my legs!"

[Anonymous No.2588500]

White Noise by Don Delillo
Don't know why, but every sentence seemed arranged to put a bad taste in my mouth. It felt like watching bad mumblecore.

[Anonymous No.2588515]

>>2588487

Now compare that to...

>WHO ARE YOU? Jack yelled. I AM JAKE ENGLAND THE POACHER. jake yelled back. Are you related to the demon from teh last stroy? dav asked. Yes. Jake replied I AM HIS COUSIN EXCEPT NOT A DEMON JUST A DUDE.

[Anonymous No.2588522]

>>2588487

A bit of DAVE STDIDER to counteract that

>WHO ARE YOU? Jack yelled. I AM JAKE ENGLAND THE POACHER. jake yelled back. Are you related to the demon from teh last stroy? dav asked. Yes. Jake replied I AM HIS COUSIN EXCEPT NOT A DEMON JUST A DUDE.

[Anonymous No.2588538]

>>2586960
>hipster
>leo tolstoy

[German Girl !!U1zrDtZdnC8 No.2588543]

It's basic English YA about a family of illegal immigrants who undergo some hardships and save Baja from an imperialist American. It was in highschool.

[Anonymous No.2588545]

Stephen King's It.
I don't know what I expected, but I expected something less shit and I didn't want it to take 2 months to read.

[German Girl !!U1zrDtZdnC8 No.2588547]

>>2586960
>Implying isn't very well writen that even if you dont pay attention every chapter is fun and it stands out on its own

[Anonymous No.2589074]

Anything by Roald Dahl.

[Anonymous No.2589084]

>>2586960
>>2587358
>>2587641
>>2588538
>>2588547

[Anonymous No.2589913]

Probably Catcher in the Rye. Stupid whiny bitch of a protagonist

[Anonymous No.2590017]

Shardik.

Was mentioned in Kings dark tower books, so i thought i'd check it out.
Took me a whole summer to read. And im a 1 book/week kind of guy.
What a waste of time..

[Anonymous No.2590036]

Now, I don't read many books, as I have very little time to read anymore, but I had to read The Bean Trees in class once, and if there was ever a fucking book WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF FUCKING CONFLICT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IT WOULD BE THE BEAN TREES.

Fuck that book. I was almost tempted to switch the book to the other option for the class, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (Or: I'm a Whiny Cunt Making Easy Money Off of a Sob Story), because at least there was some fucking emotional turmoil in it.

[Anonymous No.2590047]

>>2589074

Go fucking die.

Right now.

[Anonymous No.2590073]

Bonemender series.
Its... twilight, but with even less descriptions, more cliches, shoddier writing, with an elf taking the place of edward.

The protagonist is:
An adopted princess
Half elf Half human
Has unexplained magical powers
Beautiful
Has an amazing singing voice
Somehow good at combat, despite never training
A ~godly~ physician
Never forced into marriage, despite the medieval setting, being royalty and becoming middle-aged (Obviously, she is a poor self insert)

There is so few descriptions I have to backtrack pages upon pages to find out where the fuck they are. But then there isn't even a setting half the time. Just them bawling in purgatory over how ~their love can never be, because he is an elf!~ and exchanging sappy shit dialouge.

Also. "Smiled grimly."

This phrase is repeated upwards of 100 times in one book.

She made her daughter read this god forsaken shit, and even a tiny little girl noticed and said, "Mom, you are fucking retarded. Take this shit out." She did not edit it at all of course.

Yes, I mad.
Nearly the worst fantasy novel I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.2590117]

I know Jack's a sci-fi legend, but this was the only book I read by him.

It didn't make a goddam bit of sense, and the only thing I was reading was how fucking old and senile he was.

[Anonymous No.2590124]

>>2590117
When I say "legend", I mean around here. He's a local.

[Anonymous No.2590547]

The Dangerous Days of Daniel X

Now, I'm open to recommendations from friends, so when a friend of mine told me to read this, I went and did it.

Don't.

The protag is a mary-sue, his whole "no parents/friends" problem is fixed by the fact that he creates them out of thin air because of his powers, and the story itself doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous No.2590573]

>>2585244
fuck off

[Anonymous No.2590577]

>>2588545
Kill yourself that book is immense.

[Anonymous No.2590604]

Haters of American Gods, I dissagree and find it to be a very good book

Haters of Twillight, I agree, couldn't even read through a third of the first book before giving up

[Anonymous No.2590705]

When I was like, 15 I read this stupid novel on a road trip called pirates or something, about a bunch of teenagers who decide to look for pirate treasure by becoming modern day pirates.

I threw it out the car window after the first 3 chapters. They took a concept that COULD be neat to a teen, and made it so ridiculously boring. I would rather stare at the scenery out the window than read that shit.

[Anonymous No.2591092]

Narnia.

That is all.

[Anonymous No.2591149]

I read Twilight and I didn't really hate it, I mean I can tell how if I was a 14-year-old growing my first pubes I'd be all over this book and drooling because kyaahahhh the wolf guy is not wearing a shirt and he's so hawwwt and I can identify with bella because like, she's in love with a cute guy but he is not a bad person he only has some violence issues and is just like Tommy the guy who asked me out and my mom says he's a punk but I love him so much I'm going to run away with him


There's a good and a bad side to twilight. Good side: It made teenagers read anything with more than a thousand words. Bad side: it's all shit. But if after that they move on to different literature then I say ok let that piece of shit exist.

Worst book in my opinion: A certain book called "pederasts" in which the author tells the story of a man who can sense ghosts and talk to them and then one day the ghost of a girl comes to him and tells him she was raped and killed and that he needs to help her.
It starts as "pedophiles are bad" but it goes ridiculously wrong from there, because the main character meets a woman and he has sex with her and during that said sexual encounter the author describes her as being "like a naughty little girl" which doesn't really goes well with the basic premise of hey let's not rape little girls let's go for older women.
Really that is the most awful book I've ever read, if I could I'd find the writer and rape him like he's a little girl

[Anonymous No.2591169]

James Joyce - Ulysses, by far the worst thing I've ever read.

I'm a smart guy and I understand pretty much everything except for some high-end quantum mathematics (Mostly because I just do math for fun and haven't had the time to put my mind to it yet), yet I didn't understand anything that James Joyce wrote. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a charity-case retard that got his book published as a last wish.

[Anonymous No.2591178]

>>2591169

>I'm a smart guy and I understand pretty much everything except for some high-end quantum mathematics (Mostly because I just do math for fun and haven't had the time to put my mind to it yet), yet I didn't understand anything that James Joyce wrote.

It's really not as difficult as all that ... maybe you're just bad at this?

[Anonymous No.2591194]

>>2591178

I've read your post three times and I still don't understand anything you just wrote.

[Anonymous No.2591221]

>>2591169
I'm not a massively well read person, but it seems to me like you've read up to chapter 3 or so and given up. Aside from some problem chapters, there's nothing particularly difficult about Joyce, the prose has a method to it and if you understand most of the book goes in and out of people's internal monologues in the way that they would be thought, with hard to recognise motivations and stopping the sentence prematurely, but Joyce isn't an idiot he gives you enough information to understand it.

It's not exactly a plotless book either, there are many narratives that you can understand, primarily the affair between Molly Bloom and Blazes Boylan as well as the unsatisfactory union of Leopold Bloom and Stephen Dedalus.

I don't think you're as smart as you profess.

[Anonymous No.2591228]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnyPNdepDl8

[Anonymous No.2591229]

>>2591169
don't call the mathematical formulations of quantum physics "quantum mathematics". it negates your assertion that you're a 'smart guy'.

[Anonymous No.2591243]

I'm disappointed that /lit/ has forgotten its former god of glorious fanfiction.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5756485/1/Wabloo_Swabloo

[Anonymous No.2591573]

>>2591169
You sound like a pretentious cunt. Sucks that you can't understand Joyce, but you're probably just not as smart as your ego leads you to believe.

[Anonymous No.2591593]

>>2591169
The best part was when this got serious responses.

[Anonymous No.2591597]

>>2591169
>except for some high-end quantum mathematics
But ... but high-end quantum mathematics is entry level garbage for nerd wannabes.
> (Mostly because I just do math for fun and haven't had the time to put my mind to it yet)
>fun
CASUAL

[Anonymous No.2591874]

>>2591243
>Picachu fell from skai cause its too air

[Anonymous No.2592152]

>>2591243

This is an incredibly obvious troll. The author has several shitty grammar-less fanfics, but the descriptions on them are perfectly worded, with a good vocabulary, which proves this is a troll.

Also the writer actually called it an "experimental abstract fanfic"

[Anonymous No.2592210]

>>2591169

Pretending for the sake of discussion that you're not just trolling, the reason for this is that modernist literature works differently than mathematics (or genre fiction.) You can't just come in with an open mind and follow it as a linear progression. Modernism/postmodernism in general and Ulysses in particular assumes an immense amount of background knowledge, without which large chunks of the text will be basically impenetrable. The first few chapters of Ulysses don't make sense if you don't have at least a basic grasp of the Catholic ritual and theology it's parodying, the "Oxen of the Sun" chapter is much funnier when you understand the history of English prose, there's a whole lot throughout the book which you're missing if you don't understand the history of Irish nationalism, and nothing at all will make sense if you're not at least cursorily familiar with the plot of the Odyssey.

An educated person of Joyce's day would have had much of this knowledge as a matter of course, but for us degraded plebs with our crappy public schools and Internet-shortened attention spans, there's no shame in reading an annotation or guidebook alongside the original text. (Try Gifford's Ulysses Annotated or Blamires's New Bloomsday Book.)

[Anonymous No.2592292]

>>2583778
>>2583778
I just came from /b/ where I couldn't stand the stupidity so I came to /lit thinking it would be a nice change.
BREADS
"this breads nothing"
I like baguettes and brioche, how about you? The word is BREED you moron.

[Anonymous No.2592311]

Catcher In the Rye, but that goes without saying.

[Anonymous No.2592478]

>>2592152
I'm aware, this is probably also the case with DAVE STDIDER POKEMON TRANER though, and Wabloo Swabloo at least pretends to be shit for entirely pretentious reasons.
It's like a metaphor for /lit/ itself.

[Anonymous No.2592493]

Every character in the book acts like a lobotomized retard.

[Anonymous No.2592496]

>>2592478

Actually, DAVE STDIDER could POSSIBLY be genuine. The writing DOES marginally improve over time, which is often not the case with troll fics. Usually they get worse.

[Anonymous No.2593514]

Hey lit. So one day, I was browsing around looking for a quote and I suddenly found myself on this website

Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

And well, masochist that I am, I downloaded on my kindle, all of the books in this site.

My really bad romance novel week turned out to be the most hilarious read ever. Turns out, these are read by the mothers of the people who like reading twilight.

These are the worst fucking books ever.

take a look at this

"The fire in his eyes and the way he licked his lips didn’t suggest obligation. They hinted at hunger. And she was the Happy Meal."

That Voodoo You Do -- Jodi Redford

[Anonymous No.2594283]

>>2593514
So wait...is it a good read (making fun of bad books) or not?

[Anonymous No.2594358]

A game of thrones.

Help me god this was trite.

[Anonymous No.2594384]

>>2594358

Are you that girl who keeps complaining about rape?

[Anonymous No.2594405]

>>2594384
No.

Why?

[Anonymous No.2594420]

The work of hans von hozel, a fanfiction writer with a story for every fandom. All terrible, especially the bible fanfic.

[Anonymous No.2594452]

>>2594420
Bible fanfic? Do Jesus and Judas turn into a yaoi couple or something?

[Anonymous No.2594465]

The Great Gatsby

"Roaring 20's"? More like "BORING 20's".

Seriously though, waste of paper.

[Anonymous No.2594469]

>>2594452
Yeah.

[Anonymous No.2594478]

Anyone actually read this? Christians trying to make a post-apocalyptic story about the end times. Makes Hunger Games look like a work of art.

[Anonymous No.2594489]

>>2594478
Read that whole series except the last one, "The Big Finale". Was...interesting....a quick and easy read, for sure....

[Anonymous No.2594495]

>>2594478

I read the first 11.

feelsbadman

[Anonymous No.2594509]

>>2594478
I read the first two in middle school. I regret it.

[Anonymous No.2594517]

>>2588545

I loved that book.

[Anonymous No.2594712]

>>2594465
>Seriously though, waste of paper.
>My fucking face when

[Anonymous No.2595057]

Personally I hate A Song of Fire and Ice series.

The whole thing is stupid as fuck. Awiful wrighting and characters are not developed at all. Read half through the first book and just decided that I'll stop wasting my time.

[Anonymous No.2595068]

>>2594465
not a bad book overall, just overrated, it's not "the best American novel" but great prose and symbolism.
>mfw

[Anonymous No.2595078]

>>2595057
>and characters are not developed at all

[Anonymous No.2595082]

>>2595078
>damnit why do people like the truth?

[Anonymous No.2595092]

>>2595082
>my opinion is a truth!!!111!one! just accept it, u know its tru

[Anonymous No.2595743]

>>2594283

No, they were terrible books. They were so bad that the whole time reading it was funny.

There was one, All Hallows eve I think, that really stood out. Probably some really lonely ugly fat chick wrote it because the sex scenes described were incredibly fake (I've HAD sex and no one could possibly do whatever was described even if they were vampires) and she kept comparing the mans penis with vegetables. Also Mary Sue syndrome in a lot of these books for example "she had some meat to her(she was fat) but she had the kind of body that could pillow a mans groin"

URGH.

It was kinda cruel, me laughing at their feeble attempts at prose. It was like laughing at a retarded paraplegic kid with downs syndrome trying to shuffle.

It was sad and yet...funny.

Don't get me wrong though, all of those books were pretty bad but above all else, they were the soccer mom versions of Twilight.

I FUCKING HATE TWILIGHT.

[Anonymous No.2596109]

>>2583825
>>2583825
>>2583825

this type of writing always makes me think of speak up comics

[Anonymous No.2596416]

>>2596109

Oh my god yes. That picture is incredible.

[Anonymous No.2596448]

Hercobulus (or something like that), i don't even consider it a book.

[Anonymous No.2596985]

LIFE OF FUCKING PI.

[Anonymous No.2597108]

The Battle Royale book. It was like the translator became really lazy about 1/4 of the way through the book.

The sentence that made me stop reading was something like

"This was because he was, in fact... gay."

Ellipses and all.

[Anonymous No.2597145]

>>2597108
Ahaha, that's hilarious. I wonder if it's considered well-written in Japanese. And I don't remember anyone gay in the film, unless you count the main character's mild bromance with his friend. Did they just cut the gay character entirely?

[Anonymous No.2597148]

Atlas shrugged. Fucking right wing atheist rhetoric

[Anonymous No.2597153]

>today we're gonna do something a little different. Let's not talk about good books

[Anonymous No.2598457]

Probably a fanfic called "Harry's Brom".

[Anonymous No.2598463]

>>2586960

>not hipster
>not communist
>reads tolstoy

[Anonymous No.2598466]

http://www.amazon.ca/Heres-Situation-Creeping-Avoiding-Grenades/dp/1592406424

Or 'I Am Number 4'.

[Anonymous No.2598472]

>>2594465

no.

[Anonymous No.2598487]

>>2584326
I don't recall which critic reviewed that book, but I remember it being absolutely scathing and hilarious. Does anyone have the link to it?

[Anonymous No.2598493]

>>2598487
http://exiledonline.com/a-million-pieces-of-shit/

[Anonymous No.2598515]

The worst books I was assigned in high school were definitely: A Separate Peace, Beloved, Ten Little Indians, and The Pearl. All of them were incredibly fucking boring wastes of time/energy.

[Anonymous No.2598530]

>>2598515
hey good job listing actual bad books so I can't make fun of you you DICK

[Anonymous No.2598535]

Swordbird

[Anonymous No.2598537]

>>2587657

It was incredible to see the explosion of nerdy kids that wanted to become authors after that book came out. I recall several kids that wanted to follow Paolini's path after Eragon was published, and they all wrote terrible fantasy. They couldn't write in the first place, they didn't understand the concept of revision; the books were essentially plots and characters stolen from other books and films, only in a magical past. Oftentimes the characters were named after the writer and his friends. It was fucking awesome: there were new kicks every time one of those faggots brought in his latest manuscript for our english class to read.

[Anonymous No.2598567]

>>2597145

The gay character was in the group that got kill by Kiriyama near the start with the Uzi. In the mango and book they have general backstories.

[Anonymous No.2598947]

go ahead and condemn me but..

The stranger - Albert Camus

seriously...wtf did i just read!?

[noko No.2598951]

>Required reading for 10th grade
>Only white kid in class
>Has red hair
>That's cool, I didn't want to friend you assholes anyway.

[Anonymous No.2599145]

Harry Potter, I know it's meant to be a children's series but it's an absolute carcrash.

[Anonymous No.2599177]

I saw the Twilight movie (part..2?) and there isnt anything to really hate. Sure, it was bad, but not in a rage inducing way. It was just bland and boring, it left you with nothing - nor hate, mor joy, not even a smirk about how bad it was. The reason it got all the hate is because 90% of the reader's boyfriends knew their girl would rather fuck the skinny-jeaned vampire, if they had the chance.

[Anonymous No.2599196]

>>2599177
Nope.

I hate it because of what it did; it allowed for the resurgence of the supernatural romance novel. That kind of drivel is just being produced for angsty teens and little girls. And it's invading everything, because now they're even becoming tv shows and shit. It's annoying. Ever see the Vampire Diaries? Terrible.

Also, my name is Edward and for the 3 years that Twilight was popular, I was called Edward Cullen by everybody. Or even just plain Edward. Nobody ever called me Edward until Twilight - it was always Eddie.

[Anonymous No.2599431]

>>2599196
Who cares if it encourages people who would otherwise never pick up a book to actually do so?

Also my worst book:
The Giver

Yeah yeah, say what you want. The universe it painted was hella fly but the book was boring as all shit.

[Anonymous No.2599475]

In primary school we had this little library in class, and I'd read every book there (mainly just children's books like A Series of Unfortunate events and the likes).

There was one book left and my teacher told me it was really good. Yeah..

[Anonymous No.2599482]

>>2599431

A medium doesn't automatically add value. If I reada shit story in a it wouldn't make it more valuable than if I had read it on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.2599488]

>>2599431
>Who cares if it encourages people who would otherwise never pick up a book to actually do so?

Because people are picking up the *wrong* books. The books are cliche and inane and stupid.

It'd be like saying it's okay that someone's volunteering to euthanize babies just because, "hey, at least they're volunteering".

[Anonymous No.2599529]

>>2592496

Not true all the time. That "Tails get's Trolled" troll comic gets better art in the Fight scenes each time. And all bets of him being genuine were off when he used >Implying and Autismal.

[Anonymous No.2600680]

bumpy

[Anonymous No.2600981]

>>2586926
I was a dutiful little high schooler and read A Separate Peace like I should, no particular thoughts on the matter. It wasn't until I pulled it from my bookshelf years later going, "Hm, I forgot about this," to read it again that I discovered what a shitwash it is

[Anonymous No.2601038]

MOON PEOPLE

[Anonymous No.2601043]

>Passionate love for a very long time

[Anonymous No.2601088]

Have to say The Road

Worst book I've read because I was forced to read it in highschool.

[Anonymous No.2601089]

>>2601088
Wow, they're already teaching it in schools?

You're a retard for not liking it though. That's an objective fact. You should be ashamed.

[Anonymous No.2601107]

>>2601038
That reads like something a kid would write in 4th grade.

[Anonymous No.2601109]

>>2601089
The book was annoying in that the only theme was that the post-apocalyptic sucked. Yeah, no shit, is that suppose to be profound or something? 200 pages of monotonous, laughable dialogue, (Seriously, the kid's response to everything was either "Yes" or "Okay", wooo he's so unemotional, woooo) predictable plot, (Wandering around looking for food, no way) and the author using the same "everything is grey" imagery about 9000 times.

Come at me bro, your book sucks

[Anonymous No.2601114]

>>2601109
2deep4u

[Anonymous No.2601115]

>>2601109
It was primarily about the relationship between the father and the son.

[Anonymous No.2601116]

>>2601109

lrn2literature, kid.

McCarthy is great. Everything post-Meridian is somewhat trite but still damn good.

[Anonymous No.2601130]

>>2601114
Butt-devastated? Anal-incinerated?

>>2601115
And it was not enough for a good book. The kid had no character (Which was the point) and his role was tiresome and completely played out by the mid-way mark.

>>2601116
No u

[Anonymous No.2601173]

I don't think anyone's mentioned the Maximum Ride series yet, but GOOD LORD. The book basically consists of the female protagonist whining and crying through every situation, repeatedly stating each time how she never whines or cries and oh, how this is just such a rare occurrence! In addition, I'd like to add that every other reoccurring character is a 2-dimensional stereotype of a child.

This book is at about a 3rd grade reading level, and I read it at about that age, but Ida fucking B is a horrible book. It's about this girl whose mother has cancer, and must sell their land to finance her chemotherapy treatments; the girl handles this by becoming a goth bitch who decidedly hates her parents because she can't talk to her fucking trees anymore.

[Anonymous No.2601177]

>>2601130

What do you consider 'top-tier' literature?

[Anonymous No.2601190]

>>2601130
>he thinks the road is about the apocalypse!

[Anonymous No.2601763]

>>2601173
I thought the first 3 were harmless and mediocre, nothing special. The 4th was a super "the environment is dying!" and very heavy handed with the green message. Now yeah, I agree we should take better care of our environment, but Paterson shoved it in everyone's faces.

I only started reading them because I used to be a fan of his detective novels and thought maybe he'd do something good. He didn't.

[Anonymous No.2601803]

Alien: Earth Hive, or some shit. I'd bought my brother some Alien vs Predator books, which I thought were actually pretty cool (good enough to read twice, in fact), so I snagged a couple of straight alien books out of a bargin bin. Worst shit ever. Lowgrade fanfiction except in paperback. Also, SPOILER, The Earth dies.

[Anonymous No.2602052]

My Immortal made me shit my pants out of laughter

>The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas

[Anonymous No.2603075]

Anthem - Bitch Rand

We had to read it in high school and it was terrible.

[Anonymous No.2603080]

>>2602052
Man, I get hives when I have to read stuff that bad.

[Anonymous No.2603134]

Had to read this garbage in my freshman year of high school.

All it was to me was a book about how science is evil and that genetic research is going against God. I've never been so appalled with the public schooling system in all my life.

[Anonymous No.2603136]

>>2595057

I stopped reading at the first page when I saw the words "huge black destrier"

Well no shit it's huge, it's a fucking destrier. Would be more impressive to leave it at "black destrier"

[Anonymous No.2603183]

>>2603134

Sorry to hear that, I had a pretty positive science education in my high school.

>>2595057

I stopped reading at the words "huge black destrier" on the first page. Well no shit it's huge, it's a fucking destrier. Pointlessly redundant. I can't keep reading after an amateur mistake like that.

I've never had a reading experience bad enough to complain about, because I just judge each book by its first few pages. I might have missed out on some good stuff, but it was for the benefit of having saved a lot of time not reading pure shit.

[Anonymous No.2603195]

>>2603183
Thankfully, we didn't read this in any science class, just my English class. But the sad part is, my Biology teacher actually was a Christian didn't believe in evolution, despite teaching origins of the planet as well as basic evolution.

And I ask myself... why?

[Anonymous No.2603240]

>>2601109
Is that dude wearing a skirt?

[Anonymous No.2603585]

>>2603195

Your teacher is probably just waiting for the day when he can finally start teaching Creationism. I know some Christians at my university who are studying evolutionary biology just so they can make a career preaching against it. I'm sure one of them will end up writing a book like Double Helix too.

[Anonymous No.2604324]

>>2603585
This.

It's sad, but there are people out there who are like that.

[Anonymous No.2604326]

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

I really really loved the animated film so I decided I should read the source material.

I don't know if it was the translation but it was just so badly written. It felt almost like a 12 year old had written the book. Even to story felt uninteresting in comparison to the film.

I think it's the only moment time I think the movie is better then the book.

I wonder if Paprika is better. Because I also love that film.

[Anonymous No.2604347]

>>2604326
It was probably the translation, then. I also loved the movie but I haven't read the novel.

[Anonymous No.2604350]

Absolute garbage and a warning against all those who wish stay attached to the cultural artefacts of their childhood into adulthood.

[Imperium No.2604381]

>>2583743
Normally I'd say that the phrase, "don't judge a book by its cover," is the right attitude, my friend, but this time I don't think so. It looks like it's been made to attract 12 year old girls just like Meyer's shit.

Also, girls don't read.

[Anonymous No.2604383]

>alt+f The Sparrow
>nothing
But yeah, The Sparrow was the worst.
We got mary sue bullshit, I'm-more-culturally-aware-than-you bullshit, author too in love with its main character, way too much unbelievable bullshit, author is too obsessed with sex, really badly thought-out religious philosophical nonsense, all under the guise of a "soft sci fi" story.
Horrible 0/10, would never read again.
Had to read it for a class, btw, and yes I read the whole damn thing.

[Anonymous No.2604483]

Naked Lunch.

[Anonymous No.2604550]

>>2604350

Seconded

[Anonymous No.2604554]

>>2604350
not the worst thing i've ever read, but probably the worst thing i've read in the last 5 years. i can't remember the worst, but maybe the sword of shanannanannanara?

[xXXSuper~SlaffykinsXXx No.2604570]

>>2604483
Naked Lunch is the worst and best novel I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.2605853]

anything by Rand

[Anonymous No.2605863]

>>2589074

die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die

[Anonymous No.2605891]

>>2592311
It should be renamed to 'the emo who cries all the time and then everyone dies, the end'

[Anonymous No.2605950]

>>2604350
Saw that at the bookstore and was mildly interested, care to elaborate what's so bad?
Anyways, haven't really had the displeasure of reading anything offensively bad, just boring. Pic related probably bored me the most. NOTHING HAPPENS! Didn't help that I was in like, 7th grade.
Also, in tenth grade I was in an advanced english class and had to read The Odyssey for our novel. Those in standard stream had to read The Chryssalids and consensus seems to be it was the worst book in the world. Anyone here read it?

[Anonymous No.2606000]

Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk
I generally don't like the author, he comes off as whiny, full of himself and bases his stories around fear.

[Anonymous No.2607014]

>>2605891
>and then everyone dies, the end
No one died..
And he didnt cry more than two times.

[Anonymous No.2607033]

>>2604326

There's a lot of fucking in the book, Kon's adaptation differs substantially in some aspects of the book, so it is an interesting read when the differences begin to accumulate.

[Anonymous No.2607094]

Eragon.
aka what happen when a rich kid think he can go full D'Annunzio and start ripping off/renaming shit.

[Anonymous No.2607266]

Wuthering Heights. I read it of my own accord when I was 15. Golly gee wiz was it boring.

I then had the misfortune of having it as a prescribed text from a module on Romanticism, of course accompanied with an Austen novel. Fucking Nothanger Abbey. I swear to god these novels man, they have to be the 19th Century equivalent of what Twilight is to women now. I just cannot fathom the reason why these got slapped into the canon other than "Wimmins".

[Anonymous No.2607268]

>>2607266

Or maybe you just don't like them because of your prejudice against "wimmins".

[Anonymous No.2607283]

>>2607268
In comparison I really enjoyed The Awakening by Kate Chopin, albeit written a century later it is still an early example of "chick lit". I found it a lot more lively and compelling, Edna the protagonist had a real spark to her that I enjoyed, and the plot was concise. I remember in Northanger Abbey there was a large portion of a chapter dedicated to a carriage ride and they don't even reach their destination, they just turn around and go home because they didn't leave early enough.

[Serperoth No.2607288]

>>2599196
I actually like the name Edward and all the Twilight fangirls have ruined it for me.

I'll have to say it was a book called Testament. I tried starting it twice, and I got confused and bored within the first 70 pages both times.

[Filosofer scientist linguist No.2607305]

My Immortal. If anyone remembers that one. It's a facfic based on goth culture, harry potter and vampires (maybe twilight?). It's horrible. But, if u feel like a man, read it. If u can read that, u can read almost anything.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-immortal-the-worst-fanfiction-ever

[Anonymous No.2607619]

>>2607288
I will take that as a compliment. I like my name too, but Twilight definitely made me annoyed due to it.

[Anonymous No.2607653]

>>2594465
Read it again.

[Anonymous No.2608473]

Twilight, like many in the thread have said.