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/lit/ - Literature

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2508752 No.2508752 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: Go to Amazon, search your favorite book, and bring back a funny review of it.

>Robert Coover - Spanking the Maid:

>I did not find this book particularly erotic, and it was plotless to me.

>> No.2508764

>>2508752
Why such shitty taste OP?

>> No.2508782

I can't find reviews less than three stars for any of my favorite books, OP. I guess I should be happy.

>> No.2508785

>>2508764
It's easy to criticize other people's tastes. Why don't you tell me what your favorite book is? =)

>The Sound and the Fury

I take issue with the fact that Faulkner says this is a story about two fallen women, when the story does not focus on the two women in question, but rather on the way they have affected those around them. It would seem that Faulkner doesn't understand his own story.

If you don't like books that can only be mildly appreciated in retrospect, don't read this book. If mentally ill people depress you, don't read this book. If suicidal people depress you, don't read this book. If constantly cynical bigots depress you, don't read this book. If, like me, you're a southerner who can't stand to read southern dialect, don't read this book. If, in general, you don't like reading about disfunctional families, don't read this book. If you just want to be moved by the book's theme, just read a synopsis because the ASSUMED themes are incongruent to the actual plot.

The only people who enjoy this convoluted mess only claim to like it, which is a testament to their snobbery. People will not say anything against this book for fear of appearing uneducated and/or uncultured.

Do not waste your precious time with this one. Trust me, you will be the wiser.

>> No.2508905
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2508905

>The Brothers Karamazov
Weak and confused narrative extinguishes the vital assortment of characters that are marginally 'Russian' in this excessive work. I would suggest reading "Crime and Punishment" for a more magnificent creating of writing.

wat

>> No.2508933
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2508933

> Crime and Punishment

Reading C&P is like getting hit on the head with a sledgehammer, repeatedly. The author has a point to make; he makes it. Then, just in case you didn't get it, he makes it again. And again. And again. There, now did you get it? The entire book could be condensed into a short story and still effectively convey the same message. And on a more minor note, shouldn't *something* happy happen at least once in a novel? Shouldn't there be at least one scene in which a little birdie chirps a happy song from a pretty tree? Does *everyone* have to be spitting up their lungs into the gutter on a dark and gloomy day? Sheesh!!

>hurrdurr why isn't mid 1800s Russia more happy
>mfw

>> No.2508942

>Labyrinths by Jorge Luis Borges

I have read and enjoyed a wide variety of literature in my lifetime, but never before have I found such rubbish masquerading as itellectual work. David Bickford. UK.

>> No.2508951

>>2508942
i'm coming for u david bickford from uk

>> No.2508954

>>2508933
a very accurate review i would say.

>> No.2508977

By "mollyflowers"

>This review is from: House of Leaves (Paperback)

I like all kinds of books. But this is the most sick and twisted "book?" I have ever (tried) to read. What a waste of money! After trying to wade through this mess I finally decided that I don't care what happens to these people. They can stay in there huge dark pit and no one would ever miss them, or care. The headaches I got trying to figure out this massive mistake for a novel just wasn't worth it. What's with all the swirls and backward paragraphs and even two seperate stories on one page? I tried to like this. I really did. I kept telling myself, " It will all come together, it will all be worth it with a fantastic story, these people will really begin to matter to me...". NOT SO!!! Life is too short to waste precious minutes with novels like this when there are so many wonderful books that trap you, change you, make you think and feel. NOT THIS ONE. SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!

I guess this didn't live up to the high standards set by "Prey" by Graham Masterson, which she gave 4 stars and described as a "page-turner you just can't put down!", or The Best of Mr. Bean on DVD

>> No.2508981

>Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe

Wolfe hero worships the Irish, and all others rank below them.

The Irish detective Martin, DAs Fitzgibbon and Caughey can do no wrong. The Italians, Jews and Wasps have their good points, but are flawed in one way or another. At the bottom are the "dark people" as Wolfe constantly calls them, who have created a great, dark hole in our once-great society. There is the single exception that proves the rule of the black public defender, though the narrative implies that his legal skills are inferior.

Granted it's an entertaining read, but don't be fooled.

>> No.2508988

>>2508981
Fucking brilliant. TOM WOLFE'S PAPIST AGENDA

>> No.2508991

>>2508933

C&P is terrible because of how its written. Atrocious prose.

The fact that the author only thinks in black and white terms is kind of frustrating too. Women are either angels or whores. Murder is a mortal sin and the only way to redeem yourself is through Christ.

Ya annoying...frustrating, and dull. But what is terrible about C&P is the clunky, inept prose.

I've read it in Russian, English, and French, and it seems somewhat readable in French...but in Russian and English it is a nightmare.

>> No.2508993

>A Man In Full by Tom Wolfe

First of all, I am still about 100 pages away from finishing the book, so maybe the ending is so profound that it would make me like the book a lot more, but I doubt it based on the reviews I've read on this site, which often say that the ending is pretty weak.

Anyway, when I bought the paperback of this book, I read all the quotes on the back cover and inside that call Wolfe a genius and one of the greatest American writers of all time, and I was ready to read an absolute masterpiece. What I've read so far is not a masterpiece at all, it is just an average book. For a book that is 800 pages long, it is suprisingly low on content. The story is pretty boring and I don't really care about what happens to any of the characters or how the story, if there even is one, turns out. The chapters about the character named Conrad are absurd and so far (about 660 pages in) don't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the book. I could go on for a while listing things about this book that don't impress me, but I won't.

The book's strongest point is the quality of the writing itself, but I'd rather read a novel with a excellent story and good writing than a novel with a mediocre story and excellent writing.

By the way, I'm 17 years old and haven't read a whole lot of books in my life, so if this book was really the masterpiece that the critics seem to think it is, then it should have impressed me a lot more. Don't put this book high on your To Read list. Read it if you like reading for the sake of reading and can get through an 800 page novel in a week or two, but don't waste more than two weeks of your reading time on it.

>> No.2508999

>>2508993
Another for A Man In Full:

John Cheever once said the only kind of book he could read was one in which he could "get past the first page."

I saw southern gentlefolk riding to hounds or something and I completely withered. I think some books are best left un-read and un-reviewed by Yankees; Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is another. I'm going to leave y'all to your own devices, cause you just lose this Boston girl with the first whiff of mint julep and horse manure.

>> No.2508996

>>2508981
Do you seriously think black lawyers are equal to others?

>> No.2509002

>>2508954
anyone can reduce any story to some short, condescending statement in an attempt to invalidate any message or artistic expression the work was meant to convey, but that doesn't make it a worthy assessment--but you were just trolling, most likely, so whatever.

>> No.2509008

Huxley's Brave New World is a story about the future world and how bad things our in their 'civilization'. Everything deals with how to get as many clones as they can, sex, and artificial happiness.

The beginning of the book was very slow, but then so was the whole book. I never could understand what Huxley was trying to portray with all the recreational sex and artificial happiness, which was achieved by taking a pill supplement. By writing about the future, as he characterizes it, he is telling us about how dark and disgusting the world might be in the future. Something must be wrong with him if he thinks this is how the world will turn out.

>> No.2509028

>>2508991
Are you kidding me? You're honestly saying that the woman were either angels are whores. Are you fucking retarded? You supposedly read it three times and didn't realize that Sonya was a whore, a prostitute, but simultaneously an angel persona through her pure heart and undying love. Maybe instead of skimming it thrice you should actually learn how to read.

>> No.2509049
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2509049

>reading a book by a "nazi" (german government worker/soldier c. WW2) or anyone related to germany c. WW2 (heidegger, guderian, skorzeny, etc.)
>check reviews
>always at least one:
>"He's a Nazi. One star."
>mfw americans

>> No.2509106
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2509106

>I read The Great Gatsby for school in my American Lit. class, and I never wanted to come home and read it. Fitzgerald uses to much symbolism and to many big words, so it keeps you from being focused on the plot. I don't reccomend this book to anyone, expecially to any teenagers.

>> No.2509110

>Dubliners

This book is so full of crap. It's awful. If you really wanna read it, set aside 15 hours of your time for each story! Criticism is non existant and high school seniors should NOT be made to read this book. Yes, I know all of the stories have some sort of "greater meaning" behind them, but it is so full of detail, every single word has an impact on the meaning of each story as a whole. I recommend that you find another book to read that you will actually enjoy, like Mercedes Lackey. Actually, Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes is a very well-written book and very enjoyable. Much more so than Dubliners.

Nonexistent criticism on Joyce?... recommending fantasy novels over Joyce? Idonteven

>> No.2509124

>>2509106
Are you really surprised? Go to any classic book and you'll find many of these kinds of reviews from teens who hate reading. It's pretty sad.

>> No.2509126

>>2508785
Don`t try to redeem yourself with Faulkner, you American you.

I honestly don`t know what my favourite books is. Perhaps Demons by Dostoevsky

>> No.2509128

>>2509110
Too bad the teacher didn't assign Ulysses. Would love to see the tears of all the students in that class.

>> No.2509131

>>2509110
>Yes, I know all of the stories have some sort of "greater meaning" behind them, but it is so full of detail, every single word has an impact on the meaning of each story as a whole

it.... it... he says that like it's a criticism! how does he say that like it's a bad thing!

>> No.2509134

>Look Homeward, Angel

Fuck Amazon reviews. Harold Bloom took such a huge shit on this book that people stopped reading it.

Also, I recently read some Amazon reviews for Finnegans Wake saying it was a "hoax" and no one would read it in 100 years.

>> No.2509143

A few users compared this book to "The Stranger," and the point would be valid if Tao Lin's novella had characters or situations that were actually interesting to read about. "Shoplifting from American Apparel" is drab, dull, and pointless, and not in a good way. It was only 103 short pages, but I still felt that it was ultimately mind-numbing to read through because of how frustratingly stupid it was.

I get the feeling that Lin just threw any mundane situation from his life on paper, and he thought that it would make a good book. He's accurate in his portrayal of the apathetic, technological, and depressing generation that I'm sadly a part of, but why write a book on that? Why read a dumb, time-wasting Gmail chat conversation in a book, when most of us who use the internet already know what that's like?

Maybe all of the situations in this novella would have been more stimulating to read if there was actually any meaning, substance, or message to the whole thing. But there isn't. Unlike "The Stranger," there's no insight, character introspection, or even a climax to be found. Instead, we deal with the most unlikable protagonist of all time, as he wastes his life shoplifting and going through meaningless relationships. I'm all for existentialism, but this "story" doesn't seem to even have enough brains to be able to define it.

If this is the literature of our generation, then I'd rather die in a car crash than experience its demise so suddenly.

>Followed by this wonderful comment:
better buckle up bro.

>> No.2509154

>>2509134
>Also, I recently read some Amazon reviews for Finnegans Wake saying it was a "hoax" and no one would read it in 100 years.

people say shit like that on /lit/ though