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/lit/ - Literature

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2479072 No.2479072 [Reply] [Original]

/lit/, let's play a game/
I challenge you to write the opening sentence to a story.
The goal is to make your sentence interesting and original enough to make the reader want to continue reading.
The rules are simple.
>No using "Once upon a time..."
>No writing more than one sentence
>No incomprehensible grammar

>> No.2479074

McHarnicle stared at the man's exploded anus wearily. "Get me another coffee, Fred, it's going to be a long day."

>> No.2479079

It took Steward quite a while to realize the disembodied arm on the ground was his own.

>> No.2479080

can i take a sentence from a story i have already written?

>> No.2479083

>>2479080
Sure

>> No.2479084

Old John was a man of few talents and, not feeling that any of them were particularly useful, was content to spend his days lounging about the apple orchard whistling tunes to the golden sun.

>> No.2479090

The first few days of autumn had been cold.

>> No.2479092

It had taken but a moment for to Derek to realize that the boy sitting on the steadied swing, staring soullessly off into space, was his very own self, twelve years ago.

>> No.2479093

She carefully spied on Erik Pettington, who had a special place in her heart, like when plaques of cholesterol are deposited on the walls of a hearts arteries resulting in the hardening of the arterial walls and narrowing of the inner channel of the arterty, eventualy leading to a violent and painful heart attack possibly resulting in death, as he began to pee.

>> No.2479096

Muldoon fell back against the couch with the needle still dangling from the scabbed up remains of his forearm.

>> No.2479099

He drove in silence.

>> No.2479100

She wasn't really my type, a hard-looking but untalented reporter from the local cat box liner, but the first second that the third-rate representative of the fourth estate cracked open a new fifth of old Scotch, my sixth sense said seventh heaven was as close as an eighth note from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, so, nervous as a tenth grader drowning in eleventh-hour cramming for a physics exam, I swept her into my longing arms, and, humming "The Twelfth of Never," I got lucky on Friday the thirteenth.

>> No.2479102

Her asshole tasted even worse than her pussy.

>> No.2479104

Somehow, seeing that black box being lowered into a hole in the ground felt even worse than seeing your cold dead face.

>> No.2479105

Fuck!

>> No.2479109
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2479109

>this thread

>> No.2479113

A lot of people think they'll be able to face death when it comes, but really, no one ever has.

>> No.2479114

SPIDERS FUCKING EVERYWHERE

>> No.2479116

I was a about halfway up broadway and niggers were chiding my ass off.

>> No.2479118

His third night on the April beaches of Barbados Jervis began to drink.

>> No.2479123

>>2479109
I considered having a rule about not being a non-contributing condescending twat, but I hoped /lit/ wouldn't need it.

>> No.2479125

>>2479123
we'd only break it anyawy

>> No.2479133
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2479133

>>2479114

>> No.2479131

He looked down at the girl he had once loved, and could only cry silently, noticing how the stars in her eyes were no more.

A reinterpretation of the first line of a book I had tried writing a while back. Only got 50 pages in before I gave up.

>> No.2479147

This one time, I fucked a fat chick for, like, nine hours straight.

>> No.2479160

>>2479074
loled. I just imagine this is some guy who goes around fixing peoples torn anuses.

>> No.2479164
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2479164

>my attempt to be entry as fuck like Vonnegut
Before reading this you should know everything from this point now on is all fabricated lies.

>> No.2479168

>>2479102
>Her dick tasted worse than her pussy

>> No.2479177

'John, I know you're a faggot', were the last words of my adoring wife before she fell into mental oblivion, with the spittle, the urine, the faeces and the twisted face - a stroke after midnight.

>> No.2479186

>>2479092

You just mindfucked me. My name's Derek

>> No.2479192

So... this is what death is like?

From a short story I actually wrote :P

>> No.2479194

>>2479186
I'm very sorry for you

>> No.2479201

"Somewhere in America there is a town just like any other. Somewhere in this town, beyond the cluttered sprawl of Downtown, of Midtown, of Uptown; somewhere beyond the decadent city flooded with the hipsters and the bums and the bureaucrats, there is a place."

The opening two sentences to my first draft of a short story I wrote. What does /lit/ think? I know it needs to be revised. I think the ending of the second sentence could be a little better.

>> No.2479202

>>2479084
Young Jonny was a boy of few talents and, not feeling that any of them were particularly useful, was content to spend his days lounging about his bedroom whistling tunes from Golden Sun.

>> No.2479205

>>2479201
get "once upon a time" in there to violate all of OP's rules

>> No.2479212

Once upon a time I a sandwich ate cheese. It was a but great that not.

>> No.2479214

He lived in a movie that no one was watching.

>> No.2479222

Thrice removed was the poor buzzard, a bastard of a bastard of misbegotten tramp.

Not sure if that's a sentence that makes sense

>> No.2479223

Tan Philip was so tan.

>> No.2479242

The curator stopped before my bedroom, velvet rope barrier preventing entrance, and held his arm up saying mournfully, "...And here he drew his final breath."

>> No.2479248

His voice breaks out, "No i'm being serious, if one of my friends is gonna live the rest of their life believing in all this bullshit about people being special and different and being saved by God and goin to heaven, then i'm gonna say something cuz I'm not gonna let it happen," he's kinda sweaty and this appears to be much too big of a deal to him, "just listen for a few seconds, i can't say for sure there is no God, but it is very likely that we are some sort of life-form that i can't really explain that evolved forever and eventually turned into all the shit you see, and somewhere along the way we developed a mind and consciousness and the notion of self and God and love, and it's likely that all these things we just.....made up," he finishes and looks empty, like what he had just said was a valuable secret, a part of his soul the cost to share, and it sucks because I think the reason it hurt him so much to say it was because he knew nobody would believe him, he knew it didn't matter, but he doesn't know I believe him and I'm not quite sure if he knows that he's right.

>> No.2479253
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2479253

Her voice sounded as if it came from my own tongue -- my own head -- my own bloodied palm and swollen throat.

>> No.2479254

The moment God came online, the world acted just the same.

>> No.2479284

STUBBY MCFUCKLEGS SAID, "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A MIDGET AND HAVE NO LEGS" BUT NO ONE KNEW WHY BECAUSE IT IS A MYSTERY.

>> No.2479290

If you jump headfirst into a black void, you will be at peace, for as long of a time as it takes you to hit something, then you'll be terrified.

>> No.2479302

I hope there's something to be learned in the story of how I ripped my cock in half while doing something we all do every day.

>> No.2479304
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2479304

>Once upon a time therre was a grammadical err'r. It died.

Just kidding, here you go--->

He gave a slight shudder, and then a violent jerk as the cold and persistent metal of the knife was forced into his upper abdomen, cracking a rib and puncturing his lung by the time it made it's route snugly inside.

>> No.2479306

>>2479100

Clap, clap motherfucker. Very clever and attention-catching.

>> No.2479307

"Well, open it already," he said, jerking his thumb at the oblong casket.

>> No.2479312

It was the brightest of times. It was the darkest of times.

>> No.2479313

Mouse in hand, hand on head, you scroll through the black and white ramblings of a select group of acquaintances with tensed eyebrows and crumpled figure browsing for meaning, sleeplessly obsessed with dreaming.

>> No.2479508

Feeling one's own memory begin to fade, knowing you used to know, is when you give up the illusion of immortality.

>> No.2479522

>>2479201
seriously liking it a LOT.

>>2479214
A bit "cliché" (of the everyman) but interesting.

>>2479079
lol

>> No.2479524

I am seated in a busy morgue, surrounded by heads and bodies.

>> No.2479534

>>2479201
Not bad.

>> No.2479535

>>2479202

>Golden Sun

Fuck, I just got hit with a nostalgia rush so bad.

>> No.2479536

A large man, black suit black sunglasses, stepped out of the limosine and walked up to me "How much for the girl?" he asked, everything has it's price.

>> No.2479546 [DELETED] 
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2479546

The darkened sky, colored a mottled red-white-gray, cast a sickly hue over the burning lands.

>> No.2479549
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2479549

The darkened sky, smeared an uncanny mottled red-gray-black, cast a sickly hue over the burning lands of this other world, this world that by all rights shouldn't have been possible, this world thatshouldn't have existed at all, but did.

>> No.2479552

A deep bass hum irritated Michael's ears as the interface came online, the air pressure in the room increasing almost imperceptibly, as a flock of doves faded into existence on the bare concrete floor in front of him.

>> No.2479558

>>2479549
Don't use complicated words or sentence structure if it doesn't flow naturally.

>> No.2479572

>>2479074
Please publish

>> No.2479573

Looking out of my barrel I saw Crates approaching and realised I didn't even like the cunt.

>> No.2479581

IN AD2101 WAR WAS BEGINNING.

>> No.2479583

My name is Buckfast Powersmash Bin Shiraz, and this is the story of the Jizz Bombening.

>> No.2479589

It's a good thing my arm's numb by now. I'd hate to have to feel this, you know?

>> No.2479590

Four men sat around a communal anal hookah for farts as they alternately passed around the pipe and an iPad 3.

>> No.2479591

>>2479581

fuck off back to your own site, cumbopper

>> No.2479593

>>2479591
WHAT YOU SAY!!!

>> No.2479597

It might be known for its clouds of sulphur dioxide, a surface temperature that can exceed 400 degrees celsius , and over 90 earth atmospheres of pressure on the ground, but up here with thick glass between me and the clouds, at a comfortable 26 degrees celsius, and one normal Earth atmosphere of pressure, it's home.

>> No.2479598

There was a gunshot and a kid fell back onto the bar and there was blood on his shirt and welling up in his eye and pouring out of his ear.

Second sentence, but the first was boring.

>> No.2479600

>>2479590
There's something glorious about the combination of a Hookah and an iPad. It's got that Neuromancer high tech low life Turkey kind of vibe.

>> No.2479601

>>2479600
Funnily enough, I did have an anal fart hookah in a story and the people were using Apple products. It was quite surreal and I got highly marked for it.

>> No.2479605

>>2479598
>Second sentence, but the first was boring.

What a coincidence... the same was also true of your post

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>> No.2479606

It's at times like this, sitting on your bed eyeing the foot of a Ukrainian data broker wedged in your door, that life really starts to make sense.

>> No.2479668

>>2479558

I had to condense three sentences down into just one--of COURSE it'll sound a little off!

>> No.2479679

She is going to get mad and stop talking to you for no reason.

>> No.2479686

The gods hate Kansas;their damp tornado fingers drag dusty lines through its corn every spring, and they sow its fragrant mould thick with meteoric iron.