/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2468718]

“I’d like to introduce you to my life. I’m a courier of sorts, I procure, sell, and transport information through some very unconventional means. See, everyone around here is all connected like strings of yarn running from person to person. But most of the yarn goes to and from a few big spools. You got the governments desperately trying stay relevant in a time where nations and armies are about as useful as landline. Then you got the handful of really big, global corporations. Now they control most of the mainstream information, they go back and forth all scrambling for influence with the masses. Now that’s the real currency: influence. See if you get enough public opinion on your side you can get away with murder. Not like anybody really cares anyway, least not groundside. Out on the colonies they’re a bit more structured, and a lot less fun.
So, who am I? I’m just a punk kid who dropped out of an incredibly inefficient state and corporate-run brainwashing facility. That’s right, I’m a 16 year-old drop out with no future, no hope, and no real family; just like everyone else. I mean look, if I need knowledge I can get it just by blinking and you can only get experience by living. The only people who stay in the schools anymore are people who want to be another cog in the wheel. They’ll make their money, sure, but in the end they all come to someone like me.
Just call me Max.

[Anonymous No.2468719]

>Just call me Max.
Fucking namefag.

[Anonymous No.2468720]

Cyberpunk thread? Cyberpunk thread.

Anybody got recommendations?

[Anonymous No.2468723]

So, what kind of story could someone like me have to tell? Well, there’s some romance, some intrigue, some radical ideas, and some action. Like right now, for instance, I’m running from some corp goons over the roofs of some apartments. They’re a little upset that I stole a prototype blueprints for their upcoming chip architecture.
That’s the ironic thing, isn’t it? I mean technology has gotten so ridiculous by now, that they learned to lock that digital security down tight. So, here I am, living in an age where people have circuitry integrated with their nervous system, nanomachines diagnose and administer meds, and you’re entire life is stored on an infinite virtual storage space but, if you want something stolen, you still need to hire someone to break some physical windows and carry a very real weapon.
Speaking of weapons, those bullets are whizzing by my head way to close, so I’m gonna switch over to my third-person camera so you can see the action.”

[Anonymous No.2468724]

the early 1980s called, they're running out of you

[Anonymous No.2468729]

Max leaped the next roof effortlessly thanks to muscular augmentations and continued his stride. Unfortunately, the security guards chasing him were still on his heels. Also, they had called a helicopter. The gap was coming up quick. Max jumped low, more laterally than vertically, and grabbed the ledge of the building. His arms jerked and he let himself drop before his chest smashed into the unforgiving brick. He fell five stories before he was able to grab the fire escape that was probably the oldest thing in the city. The rusted metal didn’t hold up under his weight however, and he crashed the next 10 stories through the ancient steel until he met the concrete.

“...And that is why you don’t try this at home, kids! Bye bye, corp goons!”

Max peeled himself off the ground, his nanomachines already repairing the internal trauma caused by the fall, and slipped into the teeming throng undulating through the ground level of the city. He felt like debris in a rushing river. It was how it was in the city, you could get lost if you didn’t know your way; or if you didn’t have the “Latest GPS location software! Never get lost again!” The ad jumped right into the upper right corner of his HUD, Max blinked it closed. He would have to check his ad-blocker when he got back home. It wouldn’t do to have pop-ups plastered across his vision just because he thought of something. In the meantime, he just walked casually, trying to keep from having to double back through the crowd too often.

[Anonymous No.2468748]

stopped reading after the chase part.. was interesting till then, shame it seemed like it had potential

[Anonymous No.2468756]

“So, as you can see, my life gets interesting sometimes. Once I get home I can pass this off to the next link in this chain of illicit goods. See I pass this off to a runner, who passes is it off to another runner and on and on until it gets to the fence who transfers payment to everyone in the chain. I, of course get the juicy 30% cut cuz I risked my ass getting this damn thing. Now let’s just hope it was worth it.”

[Anonymous No.2468758]

It's shit.

[Anonymous No.2468759]

I hope this was a troll

[Anonymous No.2468763]

>>2468724
To Op, tell more, stop showing

[Anonymous No.2468765]

Written like a crappy pre-teen novel for angsty kids.
Shit-tier writing filled with cliches and stupidity.

[Anonymous No.2468773]

I'd like to tell you what to improve, but there is absolutely nothing of any literary value in your writing. Just give up. Not trying to be rude or mean, I just want you to save some time of your life you might spend running after chimeras.

[Anonymous No.2468797]

> "Bye bye, corp goons!"

Derp.

[Anonymous No.2468806]

>Just call me Max.

lol 90s faggot detected

[Anonymous No.2468813]

>>2468797

[not op No.2468816]

>>2468773
obviously someone never learned how to enjoy genre fiction

[Anonymous No.2468824]

>>2468816
I like genre fiction. I read a lot of it.

You suck at writing. Plain and simple. Do it more and post when you've improved or give up.

[Anonymous No.2468826]

>>2468816

I like genre fiction. This one is poorly written and filled with cliches.

"Just call me Max"
"That’s right, I’m a 16 year-old drop out with no future, no hope, and no real family; just like everyone else."
"That’s right, I’m a 16 year-old drop out with no future, no hope, and no real family; just like everyone else."

"See,"
"That's right"
"I mean"
"You got"
"Now,"

typical teenage vocab.
OP is most likely 16 or 17.

[Anonymous No.2468830]

>>2468797
I'm not gonna lie when I re-read that it seemed kinda derp, but I kept it just because it seemed in place for the character and the setting. Play more Shadowrun. Also, keep in mind, this is a 16 year-old kid so he thinks he's a badass

[Anonymous No.2468833]

>>2468826
The character is, so yes I'm writing the character like a 16 year old would talk

[Anonymous No.2468835]

>>2468833


Then stop doing so.

[Anonymous No.2468839]

>>2468835
>Wants me to not right the character authentically
Sure, I'll get right on that

[Anonymous No.2468841]

Is never post your writing. Sorry you had to learn it the hard way OP

[not op No.2468840]

>>2468824
please read my name again. it very clearly states that I am "not op."
so were you trolling when you told op they should never write again? so you believe that writing is an inherent talent, and that it can not be learned? if so I disagree.
spelling is a craft, and imo all it takes is passion, patience, and practice. you can't help but get better. do you know how many stories Stephen King wrote before he got one published? I think you will appreciate this analogy, as you claim to enjoy genre fiction.

[Anonymous No.2468845]

>>2468839

Read The catcher in the rye. It's written with the voice of a 16 years old person, yet it doesn't sound like total derpness. If you have to describe your own character, that's because your writing sucks. If it's in first person, describe your life and shit but never go out saying "hey my name is x and I do y and I'm all z and that's because of a and b and c and I love f and g and h and I..."

[Anonymous No.2468851]

>>2468845
Have you ever seen a YouTube video done by a 16 year old. That's basically what's happening here, next time actually read and don't skim, it's amazing what you can pick up through inference

[Anonymous No.2468852]

Wrong:

My name is Max, I am a super cool punk rebel, the state is all capitalism corruption and shit and look at how rebel I am LOOK AT IT LOOK AT ME WATCH ME DESCRIBE MYSELF.


Right:

Hey bro my name is Max, and here's a part of my life that I'm narrating and it mostly describes me in a not too obvious way, so that the reader can easily identify to me.

[Anonymous No.2468863]

>>2468840

>Stephen King

Are you trying to demolish your own argument?

[Anonymous No.2468865]

hey I just started reading The Diamond Age too!
I swear, Neal just "gets" us!

[Anonymous No.2468868]

>>2468863
I don't get it. are you saying Stephen King is not a good writer?
if so I disagree. what have you actually of his?

[Anonymous No.2468873]

>>2468868

I have actually of his alot of books.

[Anonymous No.2468877]

>>2468868
stephen king is in the same tier as dean koontz and danielle steele.

[Anonymous No.2468881]

>>2468868

>Stephen King
>good

Filthy pleb.
Get the fuck out of /lit/.

[Anonymous No.2468882]

>>2468877
Stop reading books and go play Mass Effect, you don't deserve them

[Anonymous No.2468883]

>>2468865

What's wrong with Neal Stephenson?

[Anonymous No.2468889]

>>2468882
stephen king is the gaming equivalent of tic-tac-toe and ET for the original atari.

[Anonymous No.2468894]

>>2468889
>has never read the shining
WELP

[Anonymous No.2468898]

>>2468894
>he thinks the shining isn't mediocre

[Anonymous No.2468902]

>>2468883
I was saying that OP's post is very similar (although even more amatuerish) than something Neal would write. I actually like Neal, although I do think he's a little silly/ immature. he's still pretty fun to read and real creative.

[Anonymous No.2468905]

>>2468894

>Thinks the shining isnt shit

[Anonymous No.2468909]

>>2468894

The only good thing that came out of that book was Kubricks movie.

[Anonymous No.2468914]

>>2468877
>>2468881
>>2468889
>>2468898

obviously I have touched a nerve.
sorry I like Stephen King guys.

also the most well read girl I have ever met liked Michael Crichton. I only talked to her like four times but I miss the shit out of her. I like reading books because they are entertaining, not (just) because of their supposed intellectual value.

[Anonymous No.2468916]

>>2468898
>>2468905
>>2468909
I bet none of you punks even sat down to read the sucker, much less take your head outta yer ass

Well I've got news for you plebians. Not only was it better than the movie, it was one of the 'kings best. Right up there with the long walk

[Anonymous No.2468918]

>>2468914
down dog. Stay

[Anonymous No.2468921]

>>2468916
>king book > kubrick movie

there are people who ACTUALLY believe this.

functional, autonomous human beings go through life thinking this.

they are allowed to reproduce and vote.

weep, /lit/.

[Anonymous No.2468922]

First paragraph had me kinda intrigued...after that it went downhill fast.

Protips are scarce, so I can only give you one: If you're being chased by 'corp goons' over apartment rooftops, you're generally more concerned with not being shot, captured, or falling off the edge. Describing these events to another person as if they've already happened, while they're actually happening, is not foremost on your mind.

[Anonymous No.2468926]

>>2468916

shhh
baby
shhhhh

[Anonymous No.2468928]

>>2468921
Choo Choo here comes the Objective evidence train: My Opinion > Your opinion

[Anonymous No.2468930]

>>2468928
>>>/b/
>>>/v/

[Anonymous No.2468933]

>>2468930
>cannot invalidate my penetrating intellect
>LOL MUST BE /B/
You forgot gaia and reddit there brah.

[Anonymous No.2468936]

>>2468905
whenever I read this kind of post I think of saying things like "hey, great argument," or saying "I disagree," as the post is so obstinate and one dimensional that it allows no fodder for discussion. I could explain why I enjoyed the book, but that is kind of like explaining to a racist why I feel empathy for other races. it is too big for me.
then I realize that perhaps the best thing to do would be to say nothing at all, because it "obviously" does not deserve a response, being as shallow and trite as it is, but then I think that that would just lead to boring, passive silence and that discussions are built often out of contradicting opinions, so I owe it to the life of the board to try my best.
then I realize that a board had absolutely no posts in it would have the same value as a board that had nothing but posts contradicting each other without any "superfluous" reasoning.

it seems like so few people are actually interested in discussions on /lit/ and only interested in expressing and affirming their own opinions. this is something I for one need to work on, and I would be overjoyed if anyone wanted to work on it with me.

<3

[Anonymous No.2468939]

>>2468936

tl;dr

[Anonymous No.2468949]

>>2468939
thanks for the feedback. I'll take it into consideration for my next project.

also I think it's pretty funny when people say tl;dr on /lit/, although I guess it's more appropriate than places not supposedly dedicated to the art of writing.

[Anonymous No.2468959]

>>2468949

[Anonymous No.2468962]

>>2468936
elitism is good, do you seriously want plebs runnin wild with their shit opinions who have never actually read more than two books in their entire life

[Anonymous No.2468963]

>>2468936
>it seems like so few people are actually interested in discussions on /lit/

let me tell you a little secret about /lit/: most people like talking about books. however, most people don't continually make threads, and when they do, they're often one-offs and don't last long. the people most likely to post are: people who are just getting into books (see: large amount of camus/sartre/kafka, dystopian fiction, dostoevsky, DFW, etc), writerfags, genrefags, offtopicfags and tripfags. while there is an intent to discuss among the users, you cannot expect people to take seriously the thousandth "LOL OPINIONS" rebuttal or mediocre writer post. so, /lit/ for the most part falls to in-trolling and self-affirmation. the guys who reply with stuff like >thinking stephen king is good do want to discuss literature, but there is nothing of interest to discuss about stephen king and they know it. they've heard all of the arguments about his 'quality', most of which deal with redefining the word quality, the use of the word 'pretentious' (which is grounds for dismissal on sight), or such things. people don't post derisive posts to interact with the poster, they just do it to signal to the other mass of lurkers that he knows that the guy is an idiot. it's a 'lol isn't this guy an idiot'. it's basically circle-jerking.

[Anonymous No.2468966]

>>2468962
i have no idea where that came from I'm sorry.

also no I don't think elitism is good and yeah I'm fine with people having opinions even if they only read two books.

[Anonymous No.2468970]

>>2468966
well then you are obviously not experienced enough with reality, if you let people think their ignorance is just as good as your knowledge, you end up with the anti-intellectualism you see in western culture today, if you like it fine, but don't expect us to accept it, so fuck off

[Anonymous No.2468983]

>>2468963
also I think people are just lazy and there brains have slowed down from sitting in a chair doing nothing too long so they lash out to make them feel better more assured about themselves even though their brain is atrophying.
it's like a vicious cycle, where people get stuck in bad habits of shitty, thoughtless posting, and this begets even more shitty thoughtless posting. everyone's just frustrated and angsty and feeling bad that they're not doing whatever it is they believe they should be doing with their time.
it just gets tiring after a while and I wish people spent less effort trying to piss people off and more effort having calm, thoughtful discussions.

[Anonymous No.2468985]

>>2468983
>let me keep writing about stuff I know nothing about, that will show those elitist pricks!

[Anonymous No.2468986]

>>2468963
yeah it's so weird how people always scream "ad hom!" we're aware it's an ad hom. why do you make the presumption that we're trying to engage in rationalistic open debate with you? i'm insulting you because you suck. i'm not trying to prove you wrong, i know you're wrong. fuckin' turkeys.

[Anonymous No.2468988]

>>2468970
sorry to break it to you but it's not up to me if people have opinions.

I don't understand how that makes me an anti-intellectual. my definition of an intellectual is someone who is comprehensive and understanding in their thinking, and not held back by their prejudices and assumptions.

[Anonymous No.2468992]

Very meh.

Whenever your character does one of those, who the fuck I am and why the fuck I'm important speeches to introduce themselves, it better blow us away.

Let's break down your character's opening monologue and try to understand why it's boring and gay.

1) Unless you're a 90 year old cyber grandma trying to learn about the net, never ever fucking use that strings of yarn metaphor again.

2) About as useful as a landmine....is a stupid simile, barely anybody can relate to a landmine. Politician would have been a better choice.

3) Corporations fighting to influence "the masses" is cliche butt fucking another cliche.

4) Holy crap! They can get away with murder! No way, grandpa tell me more! Boring boring Boring boring.

5) A punk kid? Whenever I think of a punk kid, I think of some chubby jerkoff scratching his own ass and sticking the same finger in his booger filled nose, mixing the stench of shit with crusty mucus, all shooting up his nostril when he take a big sniff.

6) I'm 16 and school sucks. Cliche.

7) Max is a gay choice of a name, especially for someone in the future. If people are still naming their kids max in your future world then we're fucked and you're story is fucked.
It's important for you to understand that as of now you're writing sucks. You can either give up or try again.

[Anonymous No.2468995]

>>2468988
It's not up to you if they have uneducated opinions, but it IS up to you to make sure they know their uneducated bullshit is not tolerated here

[Anonymous No.2469001]

>>2468985
so I'm wrong?
what impels you personally to make that kind of aggressive, belittling comment?

[Anonymous No.2469004]

>>2469001
Because you are trying to impart your oh so great wisdom that of course nobody but you had ever thought of because you are the greatest person of all time

Pretty contradictory to say that people are entitled to their opinions and you come right out and say that we should abide by your standards for quality board management

[Anonymous No.2469005]

>>2468995
that's too vague for me. I think blatant, positively held sexism and racism is ignorant, but judging by many on /lit/ those are perfectly valid opinions and in no way bar someone from being educated/ not ignorant.

[Anonymous No.2469007]

>>2469004
yr putting words in my mouth. I was advocating for comprehensive, thoughtful discussions.

no where did I say I was a very smart person and I did not intend to imply that. I can see how you could see that, in that I was/am getting wordy and talking about the universal atmosphere of the board, but I do not mean to say I understand it better than anyone else. I had my piece and I said it, as clearly as I could.

[Anonymous No.2469008]

>>2468995
the problem is that, in a fundamental sense, it is tolerated here

i mean, we can bitch about it, and that works in some cases. but when you get the stormfront anon types, that doesn't do any good because it's giving them what they want - a confrontation where they can defend their racist / bigoted / ignorant views. and the fact of the matter is that there's nothing we can do to them except yell at them. so, yeah, in every sense that matters, those views are absolutely tolerated here

also reading upthread that's not what this argument is about but it's still a point i wanted to make - the other point i should make is that it's absolutely worthwhile to talk about your love for a book in a positive way. i like it when people do that, idk tho

[Anonymous No.2469010]

>>2469007
You still don't get it though, we, or at least I, don't care. If you want feel good discussion where you can have mutual ego flattering discourse go to starbucks or something and talk to the most post modern looking person there.

[Anonymous No.2469012]

>>2469007

Learning how to ignore stupid people and focusing your attention on more intelligent people is a very big part of growing up. Don't respond to a moron out of loneliness and butthurtness.

[Anonymous No.2469017]

>>2469010
if you didn't care you would stop trying to make me understand that I am stupid and don't know anything. instead you keep saying the same thing over and over again.

>>2469012
this is good advice and something I am working on. It can be hard though, as I don't always know if someone is a moron.

[Anonymous No.2469028]

>>2469010
it is true you would most likely get a far more interesting discussion out of that then on /lit/

[Anonymous No.2469029]

>>2469017
I like to correct people in the most degrading way possible, if that makes me care so be it

[Anonymous No.2469036]

>>2469029

>thinks he's batman

[Anonymous No.2469037]

>>2469029
lol ok that's it I'm done with talking to you. good job at making me so angry for so long.

have fun trolling, you big angry baby ;)

[Anonymous No.2469042]

>>2469036
Some men just want to watch the world burn
>>2469037
Make sure to stop at starbucks for wonderful discussion about books

[Anonymous No.2469064]

>>2468718
Oh thank god, I didn't see the quotation marks nor did I recognize the quote itself so I thought you were roleplaying like in /x/. I'd like to think we're not that far gone yet.