/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2456924]

I must make the time to listen to the poets
They speak to me in patience
In celebrations that do not
Wait but stand forever in
weathering stones.

The caffeine exultation would have me stand a night in clothes of poverty.
I know too much in these inspirations
and have not sat but to wax a string into candles
which I could then waste at midnight
sick with my waiting and my light.

[Anonymous No.2456971]

>well at least you tried

[Anonymous No.2456993]

Yes! There is always that.

[Anonymous No.2457599]

>>2456924

You should really work on form... you write poetry exactly how I did when I started out... only problem is both you, and I (when starting out) had no idea how to use different forms. The way you wrote this makes it difficult to read. Don't be afraid of punctuation. Poetry doesn't have to be devoid of it.

But as for the rest of the poem.

>I must make time to listen to the poets
Great line. Keep it.

>They speak to me in patience
Another good line

>In celebrations that do not wait but stand forever in weathering stones
No punctuation leaves it a little emotionless to the reader. Not to mention it's a little bland and cliche.

Second Stanza seems like it has potential... but I think you should revisit it. Also don't stop there. Make it as long as you can, then go through and note the lines you really like... Then rewrite.

I'm no professional... but overall it seems pretty good... it definitely has potential.


Most importantly read, read, read. You're clearly a fan of Whitman... don't stop there! Read as much poetry as you can. It will help you improve your style, voice, and help break up that linear form.
(also note... is someone says your poetry is bad but has nothing to say about it... they probably have no idea what they're talking about)(>>2456924)