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/lit/ - Literature

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2438591 No.2438591 [Reply] [Original]

Hi /lit/ first time poster here..

Not sure if this is the correct board, but I thought you might be able to help out. I have to come up with a story for a short film.. I wan't it to be extremely simple and easy to execute (probably no dialogue - or very minimal) but it needs to have a strong idea behind it that I can show with strong visuals/cinematography.

I have gone through many ideas, some ok some really shit but haven't really landed on something good yet. I keep coming back to one very basic idea which is that maybe it could be about a girl running.. Apart from that I don't know, I don't know where she would run or why or even what the point of the short film would be (yet) so I thought maybe you would have a few ideas. Obviously doesn't have to be about a girl running but the more simple the better.

Thanks.

>> No.2438647

This isn't a cinema class?

How short?

>> No.2438686

>>2438647

Really short, like 5 minutes.

>> No.2439370

bump

>> No.2439391

so, let me get this straight.

1) you have come up with an idea for a short film.

2) you need us to come up with an idea for a short film.

>> No.2439393

So you want her to be a cross country runner?

Maybe you could tell the whole story in cheesy flashbacks while she's on a run and then details and implications of the flashbacks become apparent in the details you see of the girl and her running. Then for the conclusion she could arrive at a place where it all ties together and she encounters a person from the flashbacks.

that vaguely sounds like a short film you'd see, right? the technique i'm describing would have to be edited well though, you'd need to overlay some of the flashback audio over her running, etc.

>> No.2439402

>she's running
>flashbacks of argument she had with older man
>cut back and forth from running to argument flashbacks
>at the end of the run she checks her phone
>text message: "dad died"
> she look to the sky, eyes welling with tears
> final flashback of argument, she says to old man (dad) "i'm going for a run...i'm sure you'll still be around by the time i get back"

>> No.2439405

>>2439402
WHY WOULD SHE LOOK INTO THE SKY WHO DOES THAT??? JUST LOOK AT YOUR SURROUNDINGS IT'S MORE HEARTBREAKING

>> No.2439406

>>2439402

this person is in high school.

>> No.2439408

run lola run

>> No.2439409

>>2439402

who would send a text message that said that? and who ends an argument with "i'm sure you'll still be around"?

>> No.2439418

>she's running
>man seems like he is pursuing her
>hitchcock-tier music
>cut to scenes of her screaming with implications of a rape
>cut to her being arrested having been the rapist all along
>zoom out of tv with footage of her being arrested to people complimenting each other on the good film they made.
>power goes out except for the sound of a voice of the intercom
>rape by audio, everybody dies
>a single tv turns on
>george costanza

>> No.2439421

>>2439409
When my dad died, I got a text message saying pretty much the exact same thing. Also, people say all kinds of dramatic shit when they're in the middle of an argument.

>> No.2439429

>video is single unbroken shot of a girl running for 4 minutes
>shot is from the side the whole time, probably shot from a car
>in the last 10 seconds the camera slows down to reveal a man who has been running behind her the whole time, right as he collapses

>> No.2439448

>>2439421
it would have to be contextualized at least. like if the older man she was arguing with was hooked up to tubes i might buy it. that original treatment was so corny though.

>> No.2439449

>>2439421
this isn't really the same at all but after I got hit by a car while running for the bus on my way to see a friend. I was fine, more just kind of ran into it while it was stopping. hurt sorta but didn't break anything, my entire left side was just stiff for a while (would have made the bus too if an EMT wasn't on the goddamn corner). anyway while I was sitting in the emt waiting for my ma to come and sign a waiver saying I didn't have to go to the hospital I texted my friend something like "got hit by a car, sorry" or something silly like that.

people do weird, unexpected things when weird/unexpected things happen.

>> No.2439451

running across rural field

gets to bench in the middle of desert train station

picks up some trinket she'd left there

>> No.2439455

>>2439448
greentext != a treatment

>> No.2439457

>>2439429
this is a good idea, would have to make the girl's running be ambiguous enough so that it has internal logic as well as subtlety. perhaps she looks like she's running cross country, or late for an appt or something.

>> No.2439458

>girl running
>stops running does something better
>film is about that

>> No.2439459

>>2439449
when it comes to death, if it's not the result of a known condition, i'm still thinking you would contextualize it first. if a car accident was the cause of death, you might say something about the accident first.

>> No.2439461

>girl running
>flashbacks of ugly fat girl eating lots of kfc
>she runs faster
>she gets run over by car

>> No.2439463

>>2439457
his idea is worse than the dad dying idea.

>> No.2439467

>op asks girl out on a date
>girl running

>> No.2439473

just thought of a really cute/corny one: first minute is girl winning a cross country race, best in the county or something like that, in a semi rural midwestern town, but then when she passes the finish line she just keeps running, first out of the track, and then through the town, and then into the outskirts/ countryside and she starts smiling wider and wider the farther she goes. ends with a receding shot of her across a field.
camera shots start close, then widen out as she runs, then closes back up on the second to last shot (before receding shot).

would be easy, that's for sure.

>> No.2439477

>>2439467
lel camedy geld

>> No.2439481

A woman in an 19th century wedding dress runs through a forest.

Shouts and cries of various men can be heard in the distance.

The woman looks physically distraught by the presence of these men.

She stumbles and rips her dress on a stray branch, revealing her bodice.

The mutton-chopped faces of the men chasing her can be seen from behind now.

The sight of these men encourages her to pick up speed and eventually she reaches a clearing in the forest, a massive lake lies a few feet away from where she has stopped to gaze in amazement.

The men catch up with her and rape her.

>> No.2439480

>girl running, keeps making eye contact with people
>after a minute or so these certain people all start raising their hands in a peculiar gesture in addition to making eye contact
>she arrives at a weird temp office and makes the same gesture to the person at the desk
>person at the desk doesn't reply in kind but goes back and brings out important looking guy
>important guy stares her down
>she just says "december"

>> No.2439484

>>2439463
I disagree.
it has more potential to be boring, sure, but also more potential to be pretty moving if down well imo. at least it's not as played out.
does have a lot of potential to be an insufferable prick of an art house film tho, sure.

>> No.2439487
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2439487

>girl is running
>morning is dawning
>she arrives at a lonely beach and breathes in the cold air and smiles peacefully
>she is shot from behind by a homeless man
>VIAGRA: Not just for men

Fade away to red with the opening riff of Guns N' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" blaring

>> No.2439488

>>2439473
forrest gump/thread

or

>girl running
>wins marathon
>keeps running
>passes mother beating her son
>ends up on track again
>wins marathon
>keeps running
>passes old man robbing a child
>ends up on track again
>wins marathon
>people are always shitty to each other

or something like that, but better thought out.

>> No.2439492

>>2439484
it's just as played out.
and it will turn out like shit since it's just op and his/her lack of ideas/shitty equipment.

>> No.2439502

>girl running
>trips on copy of infinite jest
>begins to read it aloud
>looks to sky, tears welling
>text: dfw died
>flashback to her running and tripping on infinite jest

>> No.2439506

>>2439492
i'm not the one discussing with you, but personally i'd rather be bored for an interesting cause than see the same kind of filler narrative you can get on TV. my movie tastes are all godawful and hipsterish though, e.g. i'm trying to get a copy of satantango.

>> No.2439508

>I don't know where she would run or why or even what the point of the short film would be

That sounds like your story right there. Have the movie opening with her running and never inform the audience how where or why she is running. Perhaps have an interesting monologue to carry it through the majority of the 5 minutes but honestly the first minute and half can be her running in silent accentuated breathes

>> No.2439522

>>2439506
yee kind of the point I was trying to make. one has potential, the other has a lot of cliches to struggle through in order to seem fresh/ original. and I don't think ambiguous running is all that played out really, def no wear near as much as regretting your last contact with dead one at least.

>> No.2439531

>>2439508
or just running, period.
bore yr way to an "A," never appologize for the outwardly mundane content, and they might think it's just too deep4them, or make up some interesting interpretation for themselves.

>> No.2439532

>>2439506
well, i'm saying they're both shit-tier ideas. a guy behind a girl running after four minutes without seeing him in the frame? that's the pay-off? that's like the kind of twist bad tv commercials USED to try and use before they started hiring decent out-of-work lit majors.

also, satantango isn't hard to find. big bela tarr fan, despite the haters.

>> No.2439539

>>2439502
The only good suggestion so far.

>> No.2439571

>girl running in the countryside on a path next to a pond
>stops running
>sees a dead man in a suit lying in a wooden rowboat floating in the middle of the pond
>she wonders about this
>starts running again

>> No.2439585

>>2439571
i would watch this

and probably like it

>> No.2439596

>>2439571
you should ghost write for wes anderson.

but yeah it would be fun to watch

>> No.2439608
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2439608

because this thread was so funny

>> No.2439620

>girl running through the countryside
>camera slowly zooms out
>shes on a running machine with a screen behind
>she wakes up
>was all a dream

>> No.2439625

>>2439620
nuh oh my god so deep

>> No.2439638

>>2439608
left behind again because I don't know how to greentext :(

>> No.2439660

>>2439638
really dude?
what does every greentext story have next to the letters?
>

>> No.2439670

>>2439660
>no way is that really all it takes?
>thought i had to learn c++ or some shit
>spaghetti everywhere

>> No.2439672

>>2439660
not reverse greentexting<

>> No.2439790

>>2439620

Guess what, this actually may be what I film LOL.. At the end I'll have her walking to work in a cold busy city.