Writing a book

[Anonymous No.2429877]

Hey /lit/ I have finally decided to put words on paper and try to write my fantasy story. So I started with the first page and here it is... don't know if it's any good and right now I just need to hear your opinion on writing one... is it worth it if I have a lot of ideas but not enough words to put it entirely on paper?

[Anonymous No.2429884]

bump

[Anonymous No.2429892]

shitload of comma splices... stopped reading

also, you shouldn't start a book at the first page... you should first create an outline of each chapter/part and then slowly fill them in

[Anonymous No.2429897]

But if there's so much to explain about so many things, how do I do it without comma...

[Anonymous No.2429905]

>>2429897
commas are essential to writing and are a great tool... you are just using them wrong

[Anonymous No.2429907]

>>2429897
To many. Use some periods or structure the sentences differently

[Anonymous No.2429918]

>>2429892
depends, for some people its better to start free writing it and then outline before the second draft.

[Anonymous No.2429921]

>>2429918
find me a successful author who works like that

[Anonymous No.2429925]

The filling is not a problem, I know the entire story from the beginning to end, problem is I think I won't find the necessary words to draw the reader in, I am jumpy and would probably like to reveal to much or nothing at all... The scope is for over 4 volumes, each of them containing a pace in the journey that the protagonist is taking.

[Anonymous No.2429929]

>>2429921
I don't go around asking authors their process. Or talking to authors. If i wanted to talk to people I wouldn't be reading on the subway.

[Anonymous No.2429933]

>>2429925
try condensing the material into one book.. not all fantasy has to be long and drawn out

focus on being original

[Anonymous No.2429935]

>>2429929
that's alright, I wasn't expecting you to find any because it is a terrible method and no serious author has ever worked like that

[Anonymous No.2429940]

It's to much to put in one volume. Thing is that I made a few calculations and I have about 80 events happening in the first volume, I gave like 10 pages per event and you can imagine what that means.

[Anonymous No.2429978]

I have no idea what's going on in your story, but my advice is to start with your characters (or even just a character) doing something.

Most people are going to take one look at this and stop reading in a matter of seconds because you're throwing backstory at them. No one cares about backstory. They care about characters.

And don't use comma splices. Just make multiple, separate sentences out of them and then play with their structure.

Good luck to you. Writing a novel is fucking hard.

[Anonymous No.2430008]

It gives me comfort knowing that my writing is a thousand times better than yours :)

[Anonymous No.2430017]

1. Your writing is absolutely terrible.
2. You have no original ideas. It's clear this nonsense is just another generic fantasy land bullshit story.
3. Read 50 books, wait 5 years, and then try to write it again.

[Anonymous No.2430046]

>>2430008
It gives me comfort that on /lit/ you are able to freely be an ass without any pretentions of meekness or shyness.

you could be the best writer in the world, but, in your hands, the skill is useless

OP stop being a fag. Just write your fucking book. Don't come here talking about your ideas.

[Anonymous No.2430048]

>>2429877

You do really need to start with a character and give the reader someone to either root for or hate, or at least to learn along with. Start with a character, a conflict or at least a series of acts, and let us learn about the setting and history along with the character.
Remember, neither frodo or bilbo, or Wart in White's books, started out knowing about the great history and destiny and whatever of their whole worlds. The Lord of the Rings movie had to start with lots of exposition, because the had a long story to tell/show in a short period of time. And bad movies and books/games often start with a lot of that because the writers don't want to take the effort or don't know any better ways of getting the information across.

Why not give us a bit of dialog/action and let us see who's going to be experiencing this epic opus of yours?

[Anonymous No.2430069]

I liked it. Open with the epic shit, then zoom in on a character. After all, it worked for -- (insert various genius storytellers dating back to ancient Greece here).

[Anonymous No.2430074]

>>2430069
Worked for Pratchett,Herbert.. Goldeneye N64

You may have a point.

[Anonymous No.2430093]

"Long ago, when the world was young and the age of dragons had not been over so long that men did not watch the skies warily when summer cloud shadows raced across their sweating faces, there was a fair kingdom, set in a golden land that men called Generica, where the line of King Noblesse Oblige, with the aid of the Immortal Wizard Sententious Obscuranto, kept strong the borders of the Day kingdoms, where the marches of twilight lay near to their sunny domains.

But all was not well, for a shadow of great evil crept out upon the world, and the dark Witch-Lord Maleficant Subverso sent forth his foul emissaries to vex and bedim the bright vales and sunny uplands of the land of Mundanica, which lay near the twilight borders.

Now the lord of Mundanica was a wise knight, named Pious Ineffector, but his trusted councillor Insidius Infidelo distracted him with foolish tales ,and purloined from his care the mighty Plot Device, "Mcguffin", which the King had long trusted to his care..."

This sort of thing works for a movie, but it makes for a better read if the reader gets it in the form of a fireside chat from an older character to the younger viewpoint one in between bouts of horror and romance and action and battle-type shit, not in one big indigestible lump.

[Anonymous No.2430100]

The problem with your story is that you throw out to many unimportant things at the beginning.

Let-s start with it.

"It is the year 5061, an aeon has passed since the last spark."

At this point, there is no way we can possibly understand what you are trying to say. What is a spark? what exactly do you mean by aeon? and 5601? does this mean this takes place on earth?

Then you go on and start talking about the recreating world without giving an explanation as to why or how or why we should even care. Then you throw politics, and give us a bunch of names that hold no importance for us.

As everyone else has said, start with a character. Introduce a few terms at first (the area where the character lives, for example. Describe it with simple terms and go from there). Make it feel like we are discovering the world alongside the characters.

Take the lord of the rings for example, the book starts off talking about Bilbo, and what he does and how he is. The terms such as "hobbit" and their way of life are slowly introduced into the story and explained as they go along.

Read more epic fantasy (LotR as the classic example) and study how they themselves introduce this fantasy, and try to apply it to your story.

[Anonymous No.2430121]

You really open up with characters instead of the backstory. Blend in the back story as the characters and setting gets introduced.

[Anonymous No.2430143]

For four hundred lifetimes, darkness had lain upon the kingdom of Gothique.
A darkness so deep that the Pale Lord himself, upon rising from his couch and his troubled slumbers, must fumble through the mist of half-remembered wine-visions and the murk of thunder-dimmed dawnlight to make his way to his personal closet where the frail hand of his serving man Dwight carefully applied his mousse and eyeliner by the light of a single sputtering taper.
It was that kind of Kingdom.
Five years before, the music of Ortolan Fairmeadow had been heard in the land, falling from her lips and conjured out of the bright, dancing strings of her golden harp Majola. She had danced through the outlying towns of Gothique and charmed away the dim and sombre haze with the lilt of her fair voice, and the dash and elan of her lithe and buxom figure wove her web of charm through the dank streets. But she chanced to drink too much in a tavern on the outskirts, and a band of chuckling rogues stripped her and gang raped her before selling her into prostitution and melting down the golden harp Majola to sell for Beer money. They say you can still hear her sweet voice singing sadly from her little barred room in Mama Coalsack's House of Light Entertainment. when her mouth isn't busy with other things.

It was that kind of Kingdom too.
My name is Bradley Dragonstealer. This is where I come in...

[Anonymous No.2430164]

Don't listen to us OP, go write your book.

Try to do something unique with the fantasy genre.

[Anonymous No.2431501]

Just reread this. The first paragraph is horribly clumsy and pseudo-archaic. might want to fix that...

[Anonymous No.2431510]

Pro-tip: never post snippets of your work on 4chan. Ever. EVER

delete this thread, and repost it again in 5-7 hours.

[Anonymous No.2431512]

I like that you're putting thought into the back-story OP but putting it all on the table too early will disinterest people. People aren't going to be interested in things that they have no knowledge this early in the story.

Get characters involved and have them introduce terms and the back-story. The setting will come naturally since you have to introduce the characters somewhere right?

[Anonymous No.2431523]

>>2431510
why? what could happen?

[Anonymous No.2431532]

>>2429877
>not using Justified Alignment.

This fucking guy.

Your book will fail.

(That said, just write, fuck what other people think. If you're not writing for yourself, you're not a writer.)

[Anonymous No.2431544]

>>2429877

Info-dumping is common and often unavoidable in science fiction, but it doesn't work right off the bat and the reader can quickly become bored. A much better idea would be to jump straight into the plot with the main character/s introduced and then feed in those facts about the world / society / history around them bit by bit as you progress.

[Anonymous No.2431562]

>>2431532
Justified? really? what kind of retard would use Word for dynamic text spacing?

[Anonymous No.2431570]

>>2431562
What kind of retard uses word?

[Anonymous No.2431573]

>>2431570
Please stop posting pictures of ugly dykes. We get it. You're into them. Okay.

[Anonymous No.2431583]

>>2431532

Hey! She looks just like my girlfriend! Who is only a part-time dyke.

[Anonymous No.2431586]

>>2431570
What's better than MS:W?

[Anonymous No.2431587]

>>2431583
Fascinating and truly something we all can relate to. I'm glad you shared.

[Anonymous No.2431590]

>>2431587

No trouble. If this were /b/ you could have tits. Who does your girlfriend look like?

[Anonymous No.2431594]

>>2431590
>implying I have a gf

[Anonymous No.2431596]

>>2431586
Open Office 4 lyfe

[Anonymous No.2431597]

>>2431573
>ugly
This guy just went full broken hockey stick.

>>2431583
You lie more than a koala bear.

[Anonymous No.2431599]

>>2431596
is that free software? Like MSW for poor people??

[Anonymous No.2431603]

>>2431599
Kinda, but superior quality.

>also: not using a type writer.

[HU HU HU HU No.2431606]

>>2429921
>>2429921

Stephen King sits around and just types.

But he writes around 5k words a day.
Unless you're doing that

fuck you.


OP, you need to introduce characters. If you want that shit, make it a prologue.

[Anonymous No.2431607]

>>2431590
post her tits here please:

>>>/b/383224406

[Anonymous No.2431608]

>>2431603
Can you name some of the superior features please?

[Anonymous No.2431610]

>>2431597

You tempt me to post pics, but she reads this board. Also, why is that surprising? I think she's beautiful but i think most people would come down on the "dyke" side of the board, though I cannot see why anyone would consider her ugly.
Also, she's smart and reads Pynchon but named her cat after a Sci-fi character. And she makes good chili and butter cookies and I love her, just in case she reads this.

[Anonymous No.2431612]

>>2431608
a satisfying clacking sound when you type and it makes you smile every time the carriage returns

[Anonymous No.2431613]

>>2431612
features of openoffice, not typewriters!!!

[Anonymous No.2431614]

>>2431610
read: >>2431607

[Anonymous No.2431615]

>>2431610
You're like that guy in high school that claims he has a girlfriend in England.

Even if it's true, shut the fuck up, no one cares.
Unless your posting nudes.

[Anonymous No.2431618]

>>2431613
I'm the 4lyf guy. It's probably not better. Microsoft offers better support, but I don't know if the support and a slight advantage in terms of function is worth the price.

[Anonymous No.2431620]

>>2431613
It's free.
It can convert into pdf
I honestly don't know.

I use a type writer.

[Anonymous No.2431622]

>>2431610
10 to 1 says you're in a long distance relationship with an internet girl you've never met.

Don't bother replying, I don't actually care.

[Anonymous No.2431623]

>>2431620
Why the fuck would anyone use a typewriter?

It's kind of cool to see one of the old guard who refuses to abandon his trusted old appliance, but when you're a young person it's just pathetic affectation.

[Anonymous No.2431625]

>>2431620
>>2431618
oh well thanks anyway. I'm sure it has better flexibility that comes with open source software

[Anonymous No.2431626]

>>2431623
they don't have the internet. easier to not get distracted

[Anonymous No.2431649]

>>2431523
you'll get sniped by a million-person peanut gallery for hours which will leave your self-esteem in ruins. These guys don't know shit,about constructive criticism. Trust me

[Anonymous No.2431655]

>>2431649
Hey sometimes you have clear cut the forest before construction can begin. Its like boot camp tearing the individual down to build them up as part of the cohesive whole. its just we never get around to the rebuilding part.

[Anonymous No.2431658]

>>2431655
by the looks of things we never really got round to the destructive part either. Is there anyone in this thread who has shown that they give a fuck about OP's work?

[Anonymous No.2431659]

>>2431649

This anon speaks the truth. Someone posted a Lorca poem here for critique and most people attacked it like a piece of rare beef wrapped in bacon, saying the author had no talent.

[Anonymous No.2431670]

>>2431658
Well we criticized his text alignment, what more do you want? I would criticize him, but i read the first line and just gave up.

[Anonymous No.2431675]

>>2431659
was it an english translation? cause I could understand that response.

[Anonymous No.2431692]

>>2431614
>>2431607

thread 404d and I'm not that comfortable about it anyway. Here's a safe-for work one, though without showing her face I'm not going to be able to convince anybody of the resemblance. She's probably only going to be with me till she graduates anyway. Once she no longer needs the free room/board/ tuition she has already said she intends to throw herself back to the lesbians.

now back to the book shit...

[Anonymous No.2431700]

>ctrl F
>no short story

you should be writing short stories first. if it turns into a novel, fine. that's how most novels start out. see Song of Ice and Fire for a fantasy example

[Anonymous No.2431703]

>>2431700
Writing novels iy usually approached differently than writing short stories. You know, with their goals being different and stuff.

[Anonymous No.2431710]

>>2431700
That sounds more like a cautionary tale than an endorsement of the method to my ears.

[Anonymous No.2431711]

>>2431703

you should be able to write a standalone story that fits into a novel

i mean would you ask someone who's never done a short to direct a film? or someone who hasn't run 5 miles to run a marathon?

[Anonymous No.2431713]

>>2431710

0/10

[Anonymous No.2431717]

>>2431711
inb4 di Lampedusa.
I'm just saying being proficient with writing short stories doesn't necessarily help writing a novel.

[Anonymous No.2431720]

>>2431713
Nigger, please. That was hilarious.

[Anonymous No.2431721]

>>2431717

well OP sounds like he's never written before. what does he know about building characters? realistic dialogue? plotting? foreshadowing? grammar even?

[Anonymous No.2431723]

>>2431692
>Once she no longer needs the free room/board/ tuition she has already said she intends to throw herself back to the lesbians.
Proof that even lesbians are whores.

>that feel when no girl will ever love you for you.

[Anonymous No.2431734]

>>2431723

I think she loves me as much as she can. And I think of her more as "temporary wife without the threat of alimony" than whore. I certainly respect her, and admire her for being pragmatic and not worrying about what other people might think about her. Her lesbian friends are far more judgmental than you, even.

tl:dr She's my girlfriend and not a whore. I'd keep her forever if I could, I just know it probably won't happen.

[Anonymous No.2431735]

This is the first thing I have ever written. I'm reasonably sure it's terrible.

A boy sleeps soundly in a bed. Drops of rain, tumbling from a murky abyss, burrow between chipped white paint before coming to rest against wood. His window, so the boy would have noted, seems as a scaled crucifix serving as his only protection from a wet, cold oblivion. The boy is asleep in a bed, he does not notice this. No more does he succeed in noticing the man who sits at the end of his bed, the man who waits, and waits, and waits; staring out into black cut with grey. The bedroom is a cube, and it too is grey, for rain and night have a way of dousing what little colour there is in the world. The man waits for a life time and for no time at all, and when he leaves he takes the boy with him.

[Anonymous No.2431740]

>>2431734
I honestly couldn't do that.
If I knew she was going to leave me I'd probably be distant, to the stage where she'd leave me way before graduation.

I think you should smash her with a shovel, put her in your boot, drive over a bridge into water so you both die together.

Also: She most definitely is a whore.

[Anonymous No.2431751]

College writing teacher who taught an "Intro to Creative Writing" class a couple semesters ago here. Since I'm not being paid to do this, I'm not going to offer a lengthy critique, but here are some brief thoughts:

You seem to have a good ear for language; the prose is a little stilted (there is no need to try to sound "epic"), but I'm not going to worry about that. So here's the advice I give all my students, including a guy who wrote fantasy in my class, and whose writing sounds oddly similar to yours:

>Show, don't tell. That is, use less exposition, and more concrete imagery.

In other words, don't feel like you have to explain all the "background" about the universe you're creating at the outset. Start with a specific scene--I'll use a hero battling an ogre with a legendary sword as an example, but you'd obviously use whatever is relevant to your story--and flesh it out in rich detail. Describe the setting, the hero's sword, the pus oozing out of the pores of the ogre's face, etc. Describe the sound of metal clashing with metal, with skin, with bone. Describe how the hero gets knocked down, but gradually pulls himself up. Describe the blood spurting out of ragged hole where the ogre's now-decapitated head used to be. Describe how the ogre's yellow eyes roll around in its head even it's been lopped off. In short, make the scene vivid and action-packed. I'd start the story with a scene like this; it'll grab the reader's attention. If you start with a vague, non-concrete history of the universe, their eyes will glaze over. Once you've finished the scene, you can do more general "explanation," but after that, try to stick to specific scenes as much as you can.

Also OP, you'd probably need to write about 500 pages to cover the ground you laid out in this sample. Think small at first, then flesh it out.

[Anonymous No.2431754]

That lesbo user is a major whore. But this is what society expects of women. How can I be mad when we tell them over and over through our actions and media that their sex has to be bought and paid for with material goods?

We built this world and we'll live in it. But seriously, have some fucking self-respect and end that relationship. Don't let women leach off of you.

[Anonymous No.2431757]

what sort of sick gratification does someone get out of telling the internet about their fabricated relationship with their imaginary girlfriend? do you see what thread you are posting in? do you realize how wholly irrelevant and ridiculous it is to post it here, the ridiculous nature of what you're doing in the first place aside?

[Anonymous No.2431758]

That was some purple damn prose. Simplify it. What the fuck are raindrops doing falling from a murky abyss? How would ANYthing fall from an abyss?

"A boy sleeps soundly in his bed. Outside, rain is falling."

[Anonymous No.2431759]

>>2431754
>But this is what society expects of women.
So much for feminism, amirite?

[Anonymous No.2431760]

>I think you should smash her with a shovel, put her in your boot, drive over a bridge into water so you both die together.


sure you're not just jealous? Honestly, how would this benefit anybody? And how does what we're doing degrade either of us or harm anybody?

Her longest previous relationship was about eight months and we've beaten that by triple already. And we're pretty happy, and she never has to do anything she's unwilling to do. At this point I wouldn't throw her out if she made me sleep on the couch, though don't tell her that...

[Anonymous No.2431761]

>>2431754
>self-hating male feminist
>have some self-respect

[Anonymous No.2431768]

>>2431757

I'm just responding comments, and I'm about to stop. Believe what you like.

[Anonymous No.2431774]

>>2431760
>what will that achieve
It would benefit society.
The whore will be stopped and gullible morons like you can't breed because you'd be deed.

>we've beaten that by triple
BECAUSE BY YOUR OWN ADMITION SHE IS USING YOU FOR ROOM AND BOARD.

>I wouldn't throw her out if she made me sleep on the couch.
She's the guest, she'd go on the couch.

This shit gets more absurd.
You should write this bullshit story instead of your fantasty novel..

[Anonymous No.2431787]

>>2431768

i'm just a little bewildered is all. you brought it up yourself. and whether anything you've said is true or not, it's equally as dismaying and sad considering the context. go read op's post again (assuming you read it in the first place and didn't just drop in when you saw an opportunity to indulge us all in your fantasies) and tell me what possible justification or reason is there for ANY of your posts in this thread? and i'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that the people egging you on weren't actually just you samefagging.

[Anonymous No.2431797]

>>2431787

I'm sure you could check if we were the same poster or not. There's got to be a way to do that. I did reply to OP's thread, and have participated in the discussion a few times (you might verify that as well)

I thought I was defending the poster who kept using teagen and sarah pics when I responded at first. I thought it was a lighthearted comment and I'm surprised it developed into this big a deal, though this being 4chan I guess i shouldn't be.

I agree it's far beside the point, though.

[Anonymous No.2431798]

>>2431760
You're just an enabler. You're just one of hundreds of millions of men letting a girl use you and get away with it. You further encourage this behaviour. Every guy who buys women fancy shit in exchange for sex is doing it wrong. They can work now. They should work.

female here

[Anonymous No.2431810]

>>2431798

She does work, and she has a scholarship, but it's just not enough and she doesn't want to take out loans and I sympathize. She's got a pretty good chance of always being in a single-income household once she graduates, and that puts her at a distinct disadvantage compared to straight girls as far as debt and credit go.

I think she likes me and the whole arrangement just dovetailed to both our benefit, but even if I thought she was doing it from cynical self interest and schemery, I'd still be proud of her.

call me a deluded enabler if you like.

[Anonymous No.2431817]

>>2431810
>Lesbians
>single income
How do you work this?

There are many men in single income households too because they can't into relationships. And these men are usually punished for being single. Do you feel sorry for them and let them into your home?

You're a fucking deluded enabler.

[Anonymous No.2431818]

>>2431810
lol why are u still talking

[Anonymous No.2431819]

>See that fucking border
>Stop - or rather don't start - reading.

Sorry OP. I really wanted to like it.

[Anonymous No.2431844]

>>2429877
Never, ever, EVER start a sci-fi story with the words "It is the year ___" unless you're writing satire and you plan to twist that trope into something amusing.

[Anonymous No.2431858]

> Word
> border
> sans-serif font for body text

Didn't even read it.

[OP No.2432079]

This is hilariously bad. It really is.
- Take that border off.
- Stop using that font.
- Stop trying to sound epic.
- You can't write.
- You've presented your reader with a page of world building. You've got to be kidding me.
- You're essentially writing story documentation with the way you've missed certain words out. (to come back to them later.)
- Read books.

[Xanados No.2432089]

>>2432079
Not OP. I forgot to change my blasted name...

[Anonymous No.2432143]

>>2429907
>Gives grammar tips.
>"To many"

[Xanados No.2432149]

>>2432143
/Highfive

[Anonymous No.2432153]

>an aeon has passed since the last spark.

My, I hope you don't expect me to understand what the fuck you're talking about.

>made the world the way it is today.

Again, why is it my job to fill in the blanks?

>In the many decades after...
So and aeon is a decade or some period of time close to a decade? In the many decades after what? Who's rebuilding? Are we even on Earth?

>Dust settled on once a gloomy world.
You're missing a "what was" here. I'll let you fill it in.

>24 years later since the royalty has fallen
So now we're in present tense, which begs the question of who our narrator is. It would read better if you put "after" next to "24."

>Mercania
Gawrsh, that's a pretty name. Why the hell should we care?

This reads like a faux-Discovery Channel documentary. It's like you know everything already, OP, and you're just telling us how your wonderful fantasy land came to be. It's not a story, not at all. What you have here is an outline.

See that sticky on top of this board? The one with all those books in it?

Read all of them. Then you can write a book.

[Anonymous No.2432154]

I would read the shit out of that book. Sounds pretty epic, kinda like what mankind will do after the collapse of society and technology

[Anonymous No.2432161]

>>2430143

Okay, what happens next?

[Xanados No.2432162]

>>2432153
Let the kid be, friend. Op is clearly some 15 year old that has literally started smashing his fingers on the keyboard. He probably wrote that in five minutes and decided to put it here.

[Anonymous No.2432183]

>writing
>book
...but.. why here?

[Anonymous No.2432209]

"there is" instead of "there's"

[Anonymous No.2432212]

Can't wait to see the movie OP. Sounds like it could be a hit