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/lit/ - Literature

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2427798 No.2427798 [Reply] [Original]

writing general

talk about whatever the fuck you want

does it ever happen to you that you dislike genre fiction as a concept, and don't read it, but because you have nothing insightful to say, observe or remark upon it ends up being a large portion of your writing.

by the way, any stand up comedians here? hows that like?

>> No.2427805

i was thinking about writing a short story based on my shitty daydreams where i imagine what it must be like to have a female friend.

>i'm 26 years old and have never even been on a date let alone friends with a lady

someday

>> No.2427829

>>2427805
How is this possible? What the fuck is going on with you? Do you leave the house? Do you have a job? Do you exercise? Consider all three of these things.

>> No.2427839

>>2427805
Do they call you... the Steppenwolf?

>> No.2427851

>>2427829
social anxiety combined with rosacea -- my face turns red and my eyes tear up when i'm nervous; people make me nervous.

i don't leave my apartment except for graduate classes and grocery shopping.

i do exercise.

>>2427839
that looks like an interesting read.
when i was in highschool some kid called me 'frankenstein' and another called me 'no emotion kid'

>> No.2427852

My fiction has been described as being "dry" and "matter of fact" by a number of readers. I tried using stronger, more dramatic language, but it felt sorry to use this word, but... phony How do I find a balance?

>> No.2427855

>>2427852
could it have been the subject that made your work seem "dry" which would lead them to focus on the "matter of fact"-ness, perhaps?

>> No.2427857

>>2427852
have you read too much writing advice? they really hammer in the anti-purple-prose thing... now i just don't give a shit whatever i want to see on the page, it turns out less stiff. just be natural. if natural for is dry and matter of fact and some people don't like them, fuck them.


>247851
> 'no emotion kid'

wow, that's clever.

>> No.2427868
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2427868

>that feel when the only person who's willing to read your shit is an alt lit poet and partially illiterate

>> No.2427872

Sometimes I feel really bad because all throughout high school and college, my English and writing teachers would always tell me that I'd be robbing the world of a great gem if I didn't become a writer.

I became a doctor instead, because such is way of Asian family. Shit sucks.

>> No.2427874

>>2427868
anon is willing

unless it is poetry

>> No.2427875
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2427875

>>2427851
OK, can I be your life coach right now? You need to beef up your confidence like crazy to combat your social anxiety. Rosacea sounds mildly irritating, but it is by no means a life-altering thing. You have your hearing, you have a working dick, you have a mouth, nose, and so on. You can smile, can't you? You can tell jokes and stories? Work out and get seriously good looking. Go to /fa/ or whereever and learn how to dress to suit your age (I bet you still wear tshirts and baggy acid washed jeans, for example), and whiten your teeth.

Learn to not give a fuck. Men and women both gravitate towards those who love themselves. Everyone loves a person who's self-confident. You need to trick yourself into becoming self-confident.

I don't know. I know this is just a scattershot post but I genuinely want to get you out of this rut. I'm your typical alphamale lawyer/serious reader and I can't stand another beta male post on this fucking board. You are my brothers and we will get through this together.

>> No.2427881

Ive thought about doing stand up. Ive gone to some open mic and ive written a shit load of jokes, but the thought of standing in front of a bunch of people saying stupid shit is horrifying to me.

I have trouble focusing on one story at a time. I usually write for a bit then my mind starts wondering and i think of another story or think to something else ive started and go back and work on it.

>> No.2427882

>>2427881
Do it faggot. Go tell those jokes.

>> No.2427883

>>2427872
Fuck you, anon. You get your ass to a typewriter right now.

>> No.2427885
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2427885

why can't I hold all these professionals on my /lit/

>> No.2427886
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2427886

>>2427872
>I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER

sorry dude only writers allowed here

also, ever heard of chekhov?

>> No.2427888

>>2427874
http://pastebin.com/qUYCHADr

It's about a dream I had.

>> No.2427891
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2427891

>>2427875
That was very kind of you -- so kind that I feel the need to write a bit more properly.
It's funny you said this:
>working dick
...because I don't. Oh well; I've accepted that.

I wish it was as easy as you make it sound.
I'm actually not that unhappy -- it just bothers me that I'm so nervous in social situations. Perhaps I should talk to a therapist...

Thanks for being postive, Anon.

>> No.2427893

I am often told my characters are 'sociopathic' in their words and thoughts and in reality they are literally just me.

Right now I'm writing a fanfic involving A Catcher in The Rye, except Holden is a massive racist and every gripe about every other triviality in Catcher is being replaced by a bigoted gripe about a member of another race. I am very racist myself so a multitude of varied hatred comes easy for me. Not sure where I'm going to publish this, it's extremely politically incorrect and if I reveal my real identity with it I might get shot.
Even though I'm not at the end I just know that he isn't going to learn anything or change, it's going to end like the actual book...

>> No.2427898

>>2427891
I think you're nervous because you've already convinced yourself that nobody can ever love you because you don't love yourself. That has to stop. You realize this, right? You're 26 years old. Stop whatever the fuck you've been doing for a quarter of a century and realize that you need to make serious changes in your lifestyle. You don't need to spend money. You just need to mentally game yourself into something new.

Explain the non-working dick thing? Is it from birth? What did you do to it? What can be done to fix it? Do your parents not care about you? Why haven't you gone to see medical professionals? Fuck, man. Is this how poor people live? I wish I could be all of y'all parents and lavish you with medical help and strong and firm and loving parenting.

>> No.2427913

>>2427898
>You realize this, right?
Yes... it's as if I feel that I'll never be good enough.

I have phimosis and I did go to a urologist once but he was in a rush and didn't listen to what I had to say. He recommended trying to stretch the foreskin with some over-the-counter creams and if that didn't work: circumcision.
I still haven't bothered trying to stretch because I don't see myself having sex anytime soon.

I imagine poor people may have it worse :(
However, having money in the family has allowed me to keep myself isolated (e.g. living in my own apartment during college instead of the dorms).

>> No.2427918

I don't write but I do have ideas. One of these days I'll do it and post here for critiquing.

Just need to straighten my life a bit.

>> No.2427921

>>2427913
>I still haven't bothered trying to stretch because I don't see myself having sex anytime soon.

You see what I mean? You have a perfectly harmless thing like phimosis and you made it initially sound like your dick was forever broken. You have really big self-confidence problems. This is like some Rocky level shit that I need to do, like take some vacation time, fly down to whereever you are and hold a gun to your head and make you fix your easily fixable dick.

I'm going to lay out just one way in which you undervalue and shoot out your own legs:

>Go to doctor about dick problem
>feel sorry for self because you feel like he's not giving you the attention you deserve
>Doctor gives you simple advice
>Choose not to follow said advice because, and I quote, "I still haven't bothered trying to stretch because I don't see myself having sex anytime soon."

Good Lord, man. You're in graduate school and you can't see the mental games you're playing with yourself? Wake the fuck up. Do what your doctor says.

>> No.2427925

I'm writing a story about a post apocalyptic world where a plague wiped out most of humanity, What's left of society is looters corrupt government, and people just existing. I'm going for a really depressing theme, I'll upload what I have if anyone is interested. I feel like the premise is fantastic, but I'm not sure if I'm doing it justice

>> No.2427929

>>2427888
Critique tiem:

>Brainbomb went off in the subway.

What's wrong with 'a' or 'the'.

>At least a hundred of them started screaming,

Them? Brains? People?

>others crumpled up sobbing among the concrete and filth and benches.

Remove benches.

>They flocked to reach their minds in some time and space that was predestined in their animal-fear minds, hallucinating;

Find a better word for predestined if you're going to be vague ('some time').

>under metal over metal

Under and over.

>intestines flattening purple and brown like rotten plums

Can you really flatten colors?

>harlequin fetuses writhing in incubators clawing at their bellies.

This works better if you leave out the 'like'. As a metaphor it's too detailed.

>By the time they reached predestination

Don't say predestination again.

>froth flooding [their] throats

>crimson yolk

Nice.

>violent gob

Gobs can't be violent unless they're sentient.

>itching my wrist

Is English not your first language? Not being a dick, it's not mine, but this sounds very akward. You don't will your wrists to itch.

>blank sheet of a face petrified and grim I knew it wouldn't serve me in the reports.

Use 'a' or 'my', and the first five words need a verb somewhere. Maybe... hispanophone?

>that reeked [of] piss

>beyond a thin mask of

Beneath.

>burning away all hairs that came off with a dry sickening smell

Not that, which.

I stopped reading at the first 'pas socialiste', but I have a short concentration span. It was pretty decent for a first draft and with some polishing it could be quite good. I'd read the anthology.

>> No.2427930

>>2427921
Okay. I'll schedule time and fix it -- hopefully.
Thanks again for the helpful words.
Let's end here with a good morning/good night/good day as this is more of a thread topic for /adv/.

>> No.2427931

>>2427925
The premise is not fantastic. Premises, in fact, mean very little or nothing. Only execution matters.

>> No.2427934

>>2427881
I also want to do it, but I have very few jokes. I love performing and making people laugh though.

>> No.2427935

>>2427931
I re-read my post, I think I made it sound shitty, but there really is substance in what I have, I think... I'm worried about the execution though.

>> No.2427936

>>2427888
Have you looked this over, at all?

First, you need to learn to write in complete sentences with proper punctuation. You are trying to convey some sort of narrative, this is prose not poetry, so it matters that your reader understands what you are trying to say. Then figure out how to use those sentences to show what is happening.

You also need to learn that words matter and stop throwing any shit around because you feel like it. PICK your words, don't "feel" them or whatever bullshit you are doing now.

Don't concern yourself at all with style or compelling narrative at this point, you desperately need help improving your English first.

Read a novel, a whole novel, and then read another one by the same author. Then try and imitate his voice to write whatever shitty short story you come up with. Repeat this process with as many authors as you need until you understand English and proper narrative voice.

Then you can start your journey to being a competent writer.

>> No.2427938

>>2427935
Doesn't matter what the premise is, even if it's not that one. It means absolutely nothing. It's shit. Worthless.

Only worry about the execution. Don't worry over not doing 'justice' to the premise, you owe fuck-all to the premise.

>> No.2427939

>>2427929
Good effort but you missed one crucial error: there is nothing here worth the effort to salvage.

>> No.2427942

>>2427888
Got halfway through and had trouble with your wording. I'll read it once I wake up, maybe I am just a bit too tired and need to give it more of my attention.

>> No.2427943

>>2427938
I think I agree with you, again I'll post it if you want to look into my "work," Just "it's shit" or "it's not as shit as you thought it would be" would be criticism enough to make me happy.

>> No.2427944

Can someone offer their thoughts on this?

It's pretty short so no worries about holding your attention, if that's a problem.

http://pastebin.com/zbTj9FyB

>> No.2427946

>>2427929
>Can you really flatten colors?
It's the intestines that are flattening. I suppose I should put a comma there.

>Is English not your first language? Not being a dick, it's not mine, but this sounds very akward. You don't will your wrists to itch.
Yeah, it should be scratch.

Thanks for the critique. You didn't miss much after the cabby, just a gay sex scene where the main character gouges the catamite's eyes out upon climax and then it just ends.

>> No.2427949

>>2427939
I have free time, I thought I'd let him know what he's doing wrong in some points so he doesn't leave /lit/ butthurt because everyone shat in his story without telling him precisely why. I try to give every anon at least half a story's worth of in-line critique so he doesn't feel like an dumbfuck for putting up his shit here.

Whether it's worth the effort to salvage is not really the point.

>>2427943

Yeah post it, I'll give it a look.

>> No.2427952

>>2427949
aight here ya go man,
already feeling self conscious
http://pastebin.com/geSnwxqe

>> No.2427958

>>2427944
Eh, get rid of the first line and rework it. I'm not a big fan of the "For so [xxx]" construction.

>I know this because

Get rid of this too.

>have met not a single other

It's not the 18th century, negate the verb.

>After so many years my mind is beginning to wander away.

Wouldn't slip be better than wander? Wander doesn't sound much like what you want to convey.

It's ok. Would be a cool song.

>> No.2427962
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2427962

To everyone posting in this thread I very strongly recommend you read this book.

I cannot take anything I read seriously when the writer cannot even properly punctuate his sentences.

Also, the books fucking hilarious so you should read it anyway, even if your grammar is flawless.

>> No.2427963

>>2427962
fuck strunk and white, read a real manual of style, like chicago.

seriously, anyone who recommends strunk and white should be disregarded forever.

>> No.2427967

>>2427962
Heh, I own that book. My comp professor had me buy it a few years ago and it has been a godsend. And I agree. Why do writers/poets post shit with annoying/illegible style? Newsflash: you're not avant-garde. You just come off like Philistines. You have to master the form before you transcend it.

>> No.2427968

>>2427963
Fuck you faggot strunk is the shit.

What's the matter, is your brow stuck too high to have a good laugh as you learn?

>> No.2427973

>>2427968
Strunk and White had no idea what the passive voice is, and they have perpetuated their ignorance through generations of dense minds and shallow writers.

>> No.2427975

>>2427952
>>2427952
oh boy

>Aleksei flinched, there had been gunshots going off outside for the last 3 hours on and off, and the latest bought of gunfire was right outside of his house.

Bout, not bought. Use happened instead of was in the last part. Also rework the entire opening sentence. You really don't want to start with 'x flinched.'

>His house was really just an old elementary school that was since dilapidated and hollow.

Get rid of "really". Try "had been" instead of was or alternatively use "was" and don't stall the adjectives if you're going to use them. Also, all buildings are hollow.

>The walls were flicked with black where the flames rushed through the corridors.

Replace flicked.

>His room was the old art room where children’s paintings still hung on the walls marred and crumbling.

Used to be. It's unclear whether you mean that the walls or the paintings are marred and crumbling.

>Several more gunshots rang out and Aleksei began to feel uneasy.

Never just tell us how he felt, man. What do people do when they feel uneasy? Tell us what he did.

> things could go wrong for him fast.

Well, duh.

>On the rare occasion that it rained he had to move his cot, but those days were far and few between recently.

Don't repeat yourself. You already told us it was only rarely that it rained, you don't need to say those days were far and few "between recently[sic]".

>The latest series of gunshots gripped Aleksei’s heart;

Isn't this expression usually reserved for... something else?

I read a bit of the rest, but it's pretty mediocre man. It's fan-fic level. Stop starting every paragraph with Aleksei as well.

>> No.2427976

>>2427968
>implying i said it was shit because it's 'humorous'

newsflash fuckface: you're not learning shit with strunk and white and it will show in your writing.

>> No.2427978

>>2427958
It's funny you would mention those things specifically, that is where my hangups were when I was looking over it myself.

"Wander" is the word I chose over slip, deliberately, both for the sake of avoiding the cliche and also because it more accurately describes what I am trying to convey. The process is slow and difficult to notice without constant attention, like a wandering child.

I thought I changed the verbiage, I guess I didn't, though I think I am starting to prefer this old style more. It seems to fit better with the character.

Thanks for your comments.

Have another one, it's only a sentence long this time.

http://pastebin.com/3seh0Qe0

>> No.2427981

>>2427975
Thank you very much, thought so, my worries, are confirmed.

>> No.2427982

>>2427936
Honestly, I didn't give it all that much thought and I haven't looked it over much since because I don't take it seriously and, for a while, I wasn't gonna show it to anyone. Also, I'm not all that used to writing in any formal capacity and that story and the other stories I'm planning on writing are more like exercises than anything else.

Though that's not much of an excuse and you're still right.

>> No.2427983

I was going to write a book about a man who lives in [insert city (probably London)] in the 1920's at the latest. An event would occur that would change his life. I was thinking the death of his wife, and the rest of the novel he attempts to find himself and happiness again, while traveling around and meeting all sorts of different folk.
In the end, he commits suicide.
Would anybody read it?

>> No.2427981,1 [INTERNAL] 

>>2427851
Why doesn't anyone IRL know that FRankenstein is the scientist, not the creation.

>> No.2427986

>>2427983
I feel like you were way to vague about that.

>> No.2427987

>>2427976
Maybe your pristine self won't but the people here certainly will. At the very least they will have started the process of self-improvement, it is a much more digestible book than many others of the same topic.

>> No.2427988

You guys are being so repellently pedantic. Strunk and White is a handy pocket guide. Chicago is a friggin' tome.

>> No.2427992

>>2427978
This doesn't really do much for me. I felt nothing.

>>2427983
If you could write well.

>> No.2427994

>>2427988
>>2427987
I'm not saying you should fucking burn your S&Ws, but don't buy it and think you've mastered grammar. It's a "For Dummies" vs. a real textbook thing.

>> No.2427995

>>2427983
The plot is overdone, though to be fair, if you picked a more interesting city not often explored in English literature set int the 1920s, maybe South Asia or Egypt or something, it might be novel enough to hold interest.

>> No.2427998

>>2427986
I'm aware. I don't have it planned out fully, yet, of course. I have the basic plot line and characters, and a loose setting. It of course needs work, though.
>>2427992
I've been told that my writing style is similar to Hemingway. Also Camus and Tolkien.
Which I guess means my writing style is dry and overly detailed. That's fine by me, though, because those happen to be my three favorite authors.

>> No.2428000

>>2427983
Sounds pretty boilerplate and you just spoiled it so no

>> No.2428004

>>2427995
1920 isn't the set decade, though. I'm willing to go as far back as 1890. I was looking for an Eastern city, though, except not particularly American.

>> No.2428006

>>2427998
Yeah... I hate Hemingway and Tolkien and don't have any particular appreciation for Camus, so if those were the authors reviewers compared you to, no, I wouldn't really read it.

>> No.2428007

>>2428006
Fair enough.

>> No.2428013

>>2427994
Well, seriously, with the quality of most people's writing we see here, don't you think a slim guidebook is a better recommendation that a fat volume these people will probably never read through? Anything is better than nothing, and Strunk will at least give them readable style. You know damn well they're not gonna sit through Chicago, and will probably get turned off to style in general when presented with it.

>> No.2428014

>>2427992
Could I ask how old you are and what part of what country you are from?

Just so I get a feel for your context.

>> No.2428015

>>2428013
I don't care what people do or don't, I just want to present them with better options. If they ignore me, then well, I did what I could.

>> No.2428017

>>2428014
College-aged, born in town in south america, living in metropolis.

>> No.2428019

>>2428015
Chicago is not a "better" option because it is not a more effective option. It might be more thorough, the new editions more up to date, but it is not better because the ultimate goal is to improve their writing not offer them a degree.

>> No.2428021

Hey, I see that little hit counter going up. I better start seeing more feedback on my writing or you're all a bunch of pricks.

>> No.2428023

>>2428019
If they want to improve their writing, reading chicago will be more effective than strunk & white.

also

>implying reading chicago equals a degree in english

Please. If you're a writer who can't stomach a bit of a doorstopper you don't deserve help anyway.

>> No.2428024

>>2428021
If it was posted during the beginning of the thread, no new-comer is going to read it, unfortunately (myself included, sorry).
Wait a little bit, then post it again and don't draw attention to the fact that you're reposting.

>> No.2428028

>>2428024
Why don't you just read through the thread?

>>2428023
Chicago is not more effective because they won't read the fucking thing. And if you can't understand hyperbole you are best off avoiding creative fiction and hashing out revisions to fucking grammar books like Chicago.

>> No.2428030

I'm trying to work in a kidnapping into my next story. It's partly non-fiction, though, so I want to intertwine it into some other contrasting plotline or framing device so it doesn't have that much of a feel of 'rich fuck whining' or 'look look look be aware this happens in the real world this is important you guys look'. Initially it was going to be paired with the story of a guy who's very naive, and has a teenager lay down next to him, on top of him, clearly wanting his dick but he's just too naive and absentminded to give any thought to the situation and realize what is happening, but I don't know anymore.

What do you guys think I should do?

>> No.2428032

>>2428028
It's not important enough to me, I'm an asshole, I'm lazy.
Pick any or all of the above.

>> No.2428033

>>2428030
>what you just typed
>non-fiction
What?

>> No.2428035

>>2428028
>Chicago is not more effective because they won't read the fucking thing.

Says you. I got recommended it here, I bought it, I read it. Who says I write creative fiction? This was never 'fiction writer's general'.

>> No.2428037

>>2428035
>>2428028
>>2428023
>>2428019
What the fuck is Chicago?

>> No.2428039

>>2428033
You mean the kidnapping or the obliviousness of the desires of a horny teenager? Both happened, but not concurrently.

>> No.2428041

>>2428037
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=chicago+mla

>> No.2428046

>>2428037
Chicago Manual of Style, the definitive (but long-winded) tome of everything that is grammar, syntax, punctuation, and everything else that is written English.

>> No.2428047

>>2428032
No, your problem is you were wrong but too proud to admit it. The whole point in the first place was to help the writers here improve, not to flop around your dick to show everyone how boring you are.

>> No.2428048

>>2428039
If it's non-fiction, then it probably actually happened in real life, correct? Then just work it in in the same way it happened in real life, I guess. Or just do it in a subtle sort of way so it's not screaming KIDNAPPING IS BAD. Like.. I don't know. I feel like Taken (the film) did a pretty good job about it.

>> No.2428051

>>2428047
What exactly was I wrong about? In what way did I show pride?
I feel like we're having two different conversations here.

>> No.2428053

>>2428035
I also have a copy but I find it useful only as a reference.

You would have to be a very special sort of person to sit down and go cover to cover.

>> No.2428058

>>2428048
It's non-fiction written as fiction. Think bukowski or (god save me from /lit/) some beats.

>Then just work it in in the same way it happened in real life.

Nah. Real-life adds connotations, mostly of whining and class-struggles and a bunch of political shit I don't want polluting my stuff.

>> No.2428062

>>2428058
Then just make it happen. Just like you would any other action in the book. Then see if you like it that way.

>> No.2428064

Let's get this back on topic, how about?

Here's another short one:
http://pastebin.com/T9pmLcRF

If you read it offer a comment please.

>> No.2428067

>>2428064
I enjoyed that. I actually wish there was more.

>> No.2428068

>>2428062
I did write it and I didn't like it. It's not a book. It's just a short story. I just want to know how people would deal with topics that by their mere inclusion add some overtones to the piece.

>> No.2428071

I'm trying to learn new languages lately, and have been creating short stories in English just to transcribe in one language, then translate back to English a week later.

>> No.2428074

>>2428067
Why does the first comma in the last sentence exist.

>> No.2428079

>>2428074
Why did you reply that to me?
I imagine it was there to add a pause, which is how I read it, which is the way it sounds best.
I'm sure the writer of that could answer your question better than I.

>> No.2428080

OKAY! Happy medium. Strunk and White's Elements of Style if you're lazy or very busy and want basic readable style. Chicago Manual of Style if you're very dedicated and precise. Agree?

>> No.2428082

>>2428074
this post is meant to be directed to >>2428064

>> No.2428084

>>2428067
Thank you, that is exactly the kind of reaction I was going for. Like taking only a small bite out of a super sweet chocolate.

>>2428074
The comma separating low and weeping? Doesn't it have to be there? If it doesn't have to be there I still prefer it because of the rhythm it creates in the sentence.

>> No.2428088

>>2428084
I think he meant after "dancing ghosts"

>> No.2428089

>>2428084
That's the first comma in the first sentence. I meant the one between ghosts and waving. It is a horrible comma.

>> No.2428095

>>2428088
>>2428089
I misread last as first, for some reason.

The comma shouldn't be there in the end. That needs to be fixed.

>> No.2428111

i submitted my first story last week, to asimov (yes i am that conceited). i'm gonna have to clench my ass for three-to-five weeks and then either be completely devastated with regards to my ego or really happy. they tell me i should get used to rejection slips but fuck that.

>> No.2428116

>>2427913

just an fyi, social anxiety is not always a "lol faggot get off the couch and go be around people stop being asocial" sort of thing, and depression is not always "man the fuck up and stop being a little bitch".

telling a depressed person to feel better about themselves is like telling a blind person that they could see if they would just squint harder. it's a brick wall and you can't get over or around it on your own. therapists are incredibly chill and probably not the kind of people you expect. if you go to a college it is almost always offered as a free service to you.

just some advice from someone who's been there anon

>> No.2428119

>>2428111
Either force yourself to forget you submitted anything or start telling yourself that you have already been denied.

Rejection is always painful, no matter what you tell yourself, but if you feel anything short of absolute resignation it will only hurt worse. The good part is if you are accepted the surprise feels that much better.

Also, good luck.

>> No.2428120

>>2428116
Not always... not always... but it very often is. I can't tell you how many beta male friends I've turned around completely by simply dragging them out for a run, and then teaching them how to dress themselves.

>> No.2428204 [DELETED] 

The thing about writing. At least from what I have seen and heard from established authors; is that the trick about being a writer is getting down to actually writting something. Most of us on here, and myself included like to think about writing. Hell some of us have even writting a whole novel or two. But having the balls to send something out into the wild, where eyes other than friends and people that wish the best, can read and rip your work a new one.
I really want to become a writer. I have really thought about it. I don't not care about the fame or even getting a movie made out of one of my books. I really want to write because I do not want to be forgoten. It almost seems that my vanity and self importance, even though I can come off as weak and timid at best. Is really the driving factor of me pressing these damn keys and making a these impluses from my brain into this that you are reading.
As much as I want to think being a writer is a job in which you do for some sort of noble purpose. I really think, at least for me it seems that it is really about distilling one's ego onto paper. So that future genorations can see how much of an idiot you are.

>> No.2428221

>>2427888
One thing that bothered me a bit was this part;

“Oh, well, we'll contact him as soon as you're processed.” said A-331.
“Pronouns.” Officer B-6671 called from the driver's seat.
“Oh, I'm sorry—we'll contact xyr as soon as you're processed. Now, what is xyr name?”

I feel like it would be better if he had gone straight to asking "What's xyr name?"
Just a thought.

>> No.2428223

>>2428204
You win the prize for worst punctuation and grammar in this entire thread.

You get a pass if English is not your first language but do make a better effort next time.

>> No.2428227
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2428227

Apologies for meta-discussion, but a question about /lit/: Are those roll-the-dice Flash-Fiction threads still welcome here? Last year, I used to see one almost every day, but since late December they look to have vanished. I got a lot of enjoyment out of them, it was good practice.

I was thinking of posting one of my own to try to get them started again, but I wanted to make sure they hadn't been banned, or something.

>> No.2428232

>>2428227
No, they are still fine. I had been seeing them posted back to back for a good while now, it is likely that the person that posted them is just busy with other things (University etc). If you have the time you should go ahead and make em.

>> No.2428236

>>2428232

Excellent! I never got the impression it was a single person; had I known, I might have taken up the task earlier. A bit will be necessary to come up with original roll prompts ... I got really tired of "1. set 50 years ago 2. with your parents 3. SAMURAI! trips it's cthulhu" sets.

See you there and then, I hope.

>> No.2428249

Are there by chance any swefags in here?

>> No.2428251
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2428251

Everything I write is about a whiney white, working class hipster, hanging out with white middle class hipsters, doing white pseudo-working class things.

I hate everything I write.

>> No.2428259
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2428259

>>2428251

>> No.2428267

The extent of my writing is ironically bad poetry in threads which are either "OC poetry threads!" or "hey /lit/ I wrote joo a poumz.

>> No.2428320

Man I need to learn to transition between scenes better. It's only my first draft, but damn. I needed to get a guy from a cafe to a job where he tunes a piano and there is just kind of a jumpcut to it in the next paragraph.

Anyway, that's my gripe with myself and my goal for this month.

>> No.2428323

>>2428251
take drugs.

>> No.2428338

>>2428320
Is this a short story? What the fuck are you doing starting it in a cafe? So your readers can watch your narrator drink coffee?

Wadsworth applies to short story drafts too.

>> No.2428350
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2428350

>>2428323

like anyone without a personality should.

>> No.2428357

>>2428323
>He doesn't have an imagination.

>> No.2428362

>>2428338
Nah, it starts in a cafe because it is a Memento/Groundhog Day type thing and he likes staring at the same girls ass every day and wondering if anything would change if he spoke to her.

>> No.2428363
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2428363

>>2428323

huuurrr duuuurrr guize do teh drugz!11! it will make you really cool & stuff LOL.

>> No.2428366

>>2428363
N'aww lookit the cute little oil spill =3

>> No.2428368

>>2428362
You should probably not write this.

Or write it and send it to tar.

>> No.2428372
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2428372

>>2428350
Fuck yeah, Palmer Eldritch. Now there's a guy/entity with a personality which was in no way influenced by drugs!

>> No.2428378

>>2428368
Too late, it's pretty much done =[

It's revolutionary. It will change the face of literature. It is not just a derivative clone of Borges and Inception. No sir.

>> No.2428384

>>2428362
No trollo, bro, but it better be good. This sounds like the kind of beta bullshit that 95% of this board lives its life through, but which makes for awful reading. Just write a simple transition:

"...Anon was sitting in the cafe, watching the girl's arse, thinking awfully witty things about everyone around him.
* * *
Later that day, Anon was shoulder deep in the dry carcass of Mrs Milf's piano...

>> No.2429050

>>2428221
>>2427888
Just thought I'd eleborate a bit here, since I was in a bit of a hurry before.

The reason why I think it might be better that way is because if you leave the way it is now you're pretty much assuming that your readers are idiots. It's as if Anthony Burgess had explained what every Nadsat-word meant after writing it. Putting it in the same context over and over again forces the reader to think for him/herself instead of being treated like someone who was repeatedly struck over the head with a brick.

>Implying you're still in this thread.

>> No.2429082

>>2428362
Momento/ Groundhog day did it better.
and it's not that interesting that yr an ass man even tho yr white (assuming yr white of course)

>> No.2429089

>>2429082
There was a good episode of the sitcom Coupling where on of the characters falls in love with a leg he sees every day on the train.

>> No.2429104

How do you know if your jokes are funny? I mean, if you're writing for stand-up or something like that.

>> No.2429111

>>2429104
You try them on friends and family. If they laugh you try them on a bigger audience.

>> No.2429115

>>2429104
maybe easiest thing to do if you're writing for stand-ups

>> No.2429113

>>2429111
Never on friends and family. They lie.
There is a big difference between being funny with friends, and being funny with others.

Just get an accent and your sorted.
Or just point out obvious shit like the sky is blue and get a bbc show. (FUCK MICHAEL MACINTYRE.)

>> No.2429117

>>2429113
Yeah, sure. Unless they respect you that is.

>you're

>> No.2429135

>>2429117
you're adorable

>> No.2429143

>>2429135
1. Thank you.
2. Assuming you're the same guy I replied to, how come? If your family and friends respect you they'll tell you that your jokes aren't funny enough.

>> No.2429152

>>2429143
>Assuming you're the same guy I replied to, how come? If your family and friends respect you they'll tell you that your jokes aren't funny enough.
Social cohesion. If they love you, they'll tactfully lie to you.

>> No.2429158

>>2429143
If they respect you, they don't want to hurt your feelings and be against your chosen career.

I respect my best friend, so I never tell him he is an ugly fuck who lacks a personality so will never score that 10/10 girl he is oogling after.

>> No.2429159

>>2429143
yr family sounds cold/mean. are you telling me you don't want anyone in your life who treats you softly? sounds a little macho.

>> No.2429167

>>2429152
>>2429158
>>2429159
How do you expect to grow as a person if people always treat you like a kid? There's a difference between being treated softly and being treated like a grown up.
I'd rather be treated like a grown up and get some constructive criticism than to think that I'm the best by having everyone telling me how awesome I am all the time.

>> No.2429178

>>2429167
so you don't treat anyone softly?
you sound mean/cold, and a little macho.

>> No.2429194

>>2429167
>How do you expect to grow as a person if people always treat you like a kid?

What does that have to do with anything? People aren't going to act differently because you 'expect to grow as a person'; this types of social behavior are ingrained.

>> No.2429196

I've read strunk and white, and "Whose grammar book is this anyway?" - and I have to wonder what anon has thought of these two books? Also, what's a good in depth writing style guide that talks about stuff like polsyndeton, parallelism, etc.

Thank you for your time.

>> No.2429197

>>2429178
Not if their career is at stake. If one of my siblings/friends asked me to tell me what I think about their jokes and I don't find them funny, I'm gonna tell them that I don't find them funny. It's not being cold or mean, it's being honest.

>> No.2429213

>>2429196
didn't you see the above discussion? strunk and white is for lazy fucks who don't really want to learn; get the chicago mla.

>> No.2429230

>>2429197
sometimes being honest is being cold and mean, although there is a way to be honest without being overly frank or brutal. it is not black and white.
also a stand up career only really begins when someone starts performing imo, and if someone really wants to be funny they're likely just gonna have to work hard at it.

>> No.2429242

>>2429230
That's basically the point I've been trying to make. I didn't say to tell him that "Your jokes suck, you'll never make it in this business". But instead of going "Ahahahahahaha!" you can say "No, these jokes aren't doing it for me, and here are some reasons..."

>> No.2429247

>>2429213
I read the above. I just mentioned two books I've read. I don't have the money for Chicago an I was hoping for a book that dealt less with understanding verbs, adjectives, etc. and dealt more with sentence structure itself and the things I mentioned in my post.

If parallelism and polysyendeton and asyndeton etc. are explained fully in Chicago I might have to save for it. If there's a rehtoric book that covers this stuff I would be interested in that.

>> No.2429265

>>2429247
...Aristotle's rhetoric.

>> No.2429368
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2429368

http://www.filedropper.com/stylebooks


Elements of Style + The Chicago Manual of Style

The compressed file within the main zip is the recently updated CMOS in HTML format. It has tons of additional stuff that's not in the print copy.


Because you're loved.

>> No.2429372

>>2429368
Thankyousomuch