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/lit/ - Literature

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2414027 No.2414027 [Reply] [Original]

>At work
>New waitress
>Making idle small-talk
>"So have you read any good books lately."
>"No, I don't really read."
>"... Well, it's not for everyone."
>(Has picked up that I think less of her for this) "It's just that the last book I read was so good I don't want to read any new ones, in case I'm dissapointed."
>"What was the last book you read."
>"The Da Vinci Code."
>Mfw when this actually happened.

>> No.2414029

idgaf

>> No.2414039

>>2414036
this. Enjoy your lonely ass and pretentious ego.

>> No.2414036

then you came home and made a post about it on the internet, which makes you an even worse faggot than her

good job

>> No.2414050

Nice story, OP. It's good when people post stuff like this instead of 80% of the shit on this board.

>> No.2414106

Your face is of that woman from Indiana who killed Sylvia Likens.

>> No.2414129
File: 36 KB, 500x636, sriracha-psycho.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2414129

at least you have found a way to feel superior.

>> No.2414141

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

>> No.2414148

>>2414027
>OP works in hospitality
>Expects high-tier literature discussions
Your boss once waited a table for BIll Hicks.

>> No.2414164
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2414164

i bet the movie was just as good for her too.

>> No.2414438

>sitting alone in Starbucks reading Finnegans Wake
>cute hipster girl approaches me
>start trembling with fear
>"Hey! You're reading Finnegans Wake? Is it any good?"
>"I-I think you'll find Finnegans Wake transcends the normative good-bad dichotomy, actually," I reply
>she says she doesn't understand
>I snort with laughter
>coffee spurts from my nostrils, along with a single strand of spaghetti
>panicking, I quickly pull the tablecloth to my nose and blow
>more spaghetti falls out
>I try to catch it all in my fedora, but it quickly overflows
>the girl is staring at me in horror
>I stand up, knocking my chair over, and sprint towards the door
>trip on a string of spaghetti that was dangling from my nose
>as I crash to the floor a wet bubble of bolognese sauce escapes from my ass
>I attempt to stand up but slip on a meatball that had rolled out of my trouser leg
>everyone is laughing hysterically
>I try to apologize but my mouth is full of spaghetti
>start vomiting uncontrollably
>the spaghetti wraps itself around my neck
>I can't breathe
>I beg for help but no-one can hear me over their laughter
>quickly make my confessions before I die so I can get to Heaven:
>"I didn't really understand a word of Finnegans Wake!"
>everything goes black

>> No.2414453
File: 45 KB, 322x337, Tegan&sara12.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2414453

>>2414027
>(Has picked up that I think less of her for this)
I want to strangle you to death for being faggot.
I bet she does charity work, she helps children play sports and make friends, she cares for her mother, she is active in protests against the injustices dealt to common people. SHE HAS NO TIME TO READ.

But that's okay Mr. Minimum wage, YOU READ! YOU ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE.

>> No.2414460
File: 153 KB, 312x510, Prettierandlesssluttier.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2414460

>>2414438
and you can fcuk of back to /v/

We prettier and less slutty here.

Lurk moar.

>> No.2414459

>>2414027
>Gertrude-baniszewski002.jpg
why the fuck did you have to post gertrude baniszewski's picture, now i'm going to have bad dreams

>> No.2414568

>>2414453
This. Everyone talks about plebes, but I think most circumstances justify people who don't behave like all of us.

>> No.2414569

death to OP

>> No.2414585

>>2414453
Woah Sara or Tegan, you could actually make OP cry. That was brilliant

>> No.2414597

>be in library
>all the workspaces are filled
>walk past looking down at everyones book, tutting each time I see what they're reading
>go and read on my own in the disabled toilets reminding myself how great I am
>disabled person wants to come in
>open the door, tutt at her for being lesser than I
>carry on reading

>> No.2414620

If someone said that to me I wouldn't be able to abstain from grinning and maybe giggle. I'm such a pretentious fucktard

>> No.2414622

>>2414460
ah, i miss brownbear. at first i was a total ass to him/her then we became friends chitchatting about ambient music and twin peaks.

>> No.2414623
File: 69 KB, 355x355, 1329540939375.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2414623

>On the train
>Standing because there's no space and reading
>See a girl sitting on the opposite side of the train
>She's reading an incredibly thick book (must have been 2000+ pages)
>Walk past her on the way out
>See front cover
>Necronomicon

No word of a lie

>> No.2414630

>>2414622
u from tc?

>> No.2414652

>>2414623
That's a compilation of lovecraft stories and some of them are pretty good. What's your problem? The fact that the goths have adopted him doesn't mean other people can't enjoy it.

>> No.2414656

>>2414652
>>2414652
No, goths adopted Neil Gaiman, who loves Lovecraft.

>> No.2414659

>>2414622
i don't think so. what is tc?

i'm from virginia/usa.

>> No.2414682

reading non school books is for faggots if you do it all the time like instead of going out with friends etc.

and the da vinci code is a much better book than some old russian boring shit no one cares about and can relate to