/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.2381534]

ITT: We condense entire novels to the far superior greentext format.

[lol i trol u !!8m+H51rfpNO No.2381538]

Collected Works of Jane Austen

>Female lead: I love the male lead, he mustn't find out
>Male lead: I love the female lead, she musn't find out
>THEY DO

[Anonymous No.2381544]

>go to brother's wedding
>brother doesn't turn up
>get drunk with rude wedding guests
>become friends with a deaf & dumb man

[Anonymous No.2381550]

>nothing happens for pages
>for hundreds and hundreds of pages
>I keep reading
>I enjoy it

[Anonymous No.2381685]

>A nigger is having a fine day
>A second nigger antagonizes the first nigger
>The nigger is sad
>The problem is solved by an autistic child overcoming his erectile dysfunction
FIN

[Anonymous No.2381691]

>>2381685
>both get lynched
ftfy
superior ending.

[Anonymous No.2381698]

>gnome rogue gets fed-ex quest
>takes it to destination
>unlocks taxi route, flies back to town
>no quest reward but decent xp
>takes ship to kalimdor

[Anonymous No.2381700]

>drunk in Mexico
>drunk in Mexico
>drunk in Mexico

[Anonymous No.2381703]

>wander around in dublin
>fuck a girl

[Anonymous No.2381745]

>NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED! BITCH BLEED!

[Anonymous No.2381758]

Is there a collection of these proofs of causation somewhere?

[Anonymous No.2381760]

>man kills women
>shakes on sofa
>goes to prison

[Anonymous No.2381769]

>kinda adopt dead wife's only child
>go on a road trip
>tons of fun

[Anonymous No.2381770]

>ah up?
>! dhirypith
>down. oh

[Anonymous No.2381788]

>>2381769
I see what you did there.

[Anonymous No.2381790]

>>2381788
>go to the moon OR DO THEY
>explosion kills someone OR DOES IT
>time is going backwards OR IS IT
>everyone is dead OR ARE THEY

[Anonymous No.2381792]

ITT: Correlation = causation, or even correlation

[Anonymous No.2381793]

>go on the road
>have mediocre adventures

[Anonymous No.2381795]

>>2381790
that wasn't meant to be in reply to anything oops

[Anonymous No.2381797]

>love some girl
>she doesn't love me back
>cry about it to my friend Wilhelm and then kill myself

[Anonymous No.2381830]

>Gotta stop the evul psychics!
>Oh shit nigger that bitch can alter history. Damn.
>Cool that guy is floating. Oh wai-
>WTF this money is wrong.
>Why am I so tired?
>Oh right I see, I'm dead.
>OR AM I...?

[Anonymous No.2381831]

>house gets bulldozed
>planet gets blown up
>get ejected into space
>I just want some tea

[Anonymous No.2381844]

>little girl finds some hardcore hallucinogenic drugs
>trips like crazy
>twice

[Anonymous No.2381869]

>be atlas
>shrug

[Anonymous No.2381874]

>>2381534
>boring words
>said Dakota Fanning on g-mail chat
>boring words
>said Haley Joel Osmant on g-mail chat

[Anonymous No.2381880]

>Mom dies
>Friend wants relationship help
>Kill Arab
>Go to jail
>Be a dick to a priest
>Life sucks

[Anonymous No.2381887]

>be of illegitimate birth
>wallow in self pity

[Anonymous No.2381889]

>go to Spain
>bang a chick
>blow up a bridge
>fall off a horse

[Anonymous No.2381893]

>>2381830
>>2381790
UBROs

[Anonymous No.2381894]

>Get dick shot off
>love a bitch
>drink heavily
>SUDDENLY BULLFIGHTS
>she fucks a bullfighter
>fight a jew
>the end

[Anonymous No.2381895]

>want to fuck this little girl
>her mom dies
>become dad
>fuck little girl
>kill some random playwright

[Anonymous No.2381896]

>I'm finding myself rather depressed over the stagnation of my ménage à trois, and my father's suicide
>I think I'm going to blow up myself and everyone I know. In a boat
>The bomb didn't go off as I anticipated
>Oh well, whatever

[Anonymous No.2381901]

>I'm spending all my time in a library with some nerd
>Seriously fuck this guy he thinks he knows everything
>My ex-girlfriend is a bitch
>I'm losing my shit over a tree

[Anonymous No.2381905]

>run away
>maybe kill dad
>maybe get handjob from sister
>maybe fuck mum
>tranny has crush on me
>go home

[Anonymous No.2381913]

>have sex with hot french ladies
>we piss on each other
>girl shoots eggs out of her vagina
>kill a priest for some reason

[Anonymous No.2381918]

>bored bored bored
>fuck a noble
>fuck a law student in a carriage
>Probably a parrot somewhere
>kill self

[Anonymous No.2381928]

>Fuck everything
>Eat bananas
>Avoid rockets
>Travel across Europe
>Everyone is after me

[Anonymous No.2381930]

>aliens and computers have war in space
>aliens chase one computer but it hides
>aliens hire shape shifter to find computer
>everyone dies in a train station

[Anonymous No.2381934]

>mom died
>go out with gf
>kill arab in the sun
>jail
>priest got told
>the end

[Anonymous No.2381969]

>Have mildly shitty childhood
>Get Drafted
>Traumatic war experience
>Schizophrenic/PTSD episode(s)
>Aliens
>Poo-Tee-Weet?

[Anonymous No.2381973]

>kill an old woman
>be paranoid
>go to a labor camp

[Anonymous No.2381975]

>bored bored bored
>married to some rich guy
>kill self

[Anonymous No.2381976]

>recover from war
>suffer metaphysical angst
>fuck through it

[Anonymous No.2381978]

>I'm hungry
>Compulsive lying
>Paranoid delusions
>hungry
>HUNGRY
>Sail away forever on a ship

[Anonymous No.2381982]

>wake up
>be a bug
>this is perfectly normal situation and I'm not freaking out at all.jpeg

[Anonymous No.2381991]

>dying
>no tv
>compile all frivolous musings into 7 volume pinnacle of literary canon