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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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2371209 No.2371209 [Reply] [Original]

Dear /lit/: please, please, please critique my very short story

“Nately”

I used to be a good kid: always polite and kind, never rude unless provoked. Free of pride, I could do whatever I wanted without self-retribution. This was before my insecurities and endless nights alone truly set in, pushing my vainglorious body into the application of foreign substances. This continued on for months. Over time drugs became just another ordinary household object; over time doing drugs became my only way to escape from not doing drugs. Alas, as drug usage increased socializing did not. And so I find myself on a fresh January night, getting high alone and eating alone and exploring the campus alone. The library is, of course, largely empty, like a mahogany chessboard without any of the pieces. So I smoke in the bathrooms. After checking that all the stalls are empty, I head into the biggest and cleanest one, throw messy layers of wax paper on the seat, sit down, pack a bowl, and light up.

On the topic of libraries, I’ve noticed that everybody I have come across who reads is generally a nice person. Thoughtful, considerate and well mannered. As opposed to people who don’t have any interest in books. They are usually loud, aggressive, self centered and ignorant. After thinking it out, I reached a conclusion:
People who read a lot are either:
1.) Thoughtful, considerate and well mannered.
2.) Pedantic and annoying as fuck to be around

I scribble my arid revelation on the bathroom stall, finish smoking, and hope to read. After a very brief moment of contemplation, I come to the conclusion that the idea of reading, alone, in a large vacant library, does not appeal to me. I decide to head out.

>> No.2371216

My brain races furiously to think of a location that will soothe my aching boredom, somewhere I can be satisfied with inhabiting even though I’m alone. LPCN floats to the surface of my conscious. I’m happy. I walk, and as I walk I think. I think of my father and the day he commented on how I never eat my fortune cookies, breaking and discarding the outside shell just to be comforted by the blatant lie inside. He rambled on in a meaningless attempt at proving his point, declaring that it’s wasteful and how delicious fortune cookies are, clearly bullshitting that fortune cookies are in fact his favorite cookies. We happily called him out on it and handed him all our wish-boned cookies. Fortune cookies always remind me of him now.

>> No.2371222

I like the fortune cookie part. I could see the scene well. The rest, your mind, I'm not so interested in until you tell me more fortune cookie stories.

>> No.2371232

>responsable

>> No.2371239

>Not making a DFW thread

GTFO

>> No.2371255

>of the most

>> No.2371276

>pushing my vainglorious body into the application of foreign substances.
maybe it's me but this sounds badly worded. some of it seems a little too consciously purple, e.g, "Alas, as drug usage increased socializing did not."

>>2371239
haha what a tickler