/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.23502610]

"Friendly neighborhood execution squad" edition

Previous: >>23495576

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Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
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[Anonymous No.23502620]

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius has become a meme in philosophy, the first recommendation to anyone who asks. I found the first portion funny, though, due to the stark differences between our immediate families and upbringings.
What have you learned or inherited from your elders? Write it like our lil' Marcus here, if you will.
As for me:

From my grandfather Louis, shortness of stature, for he was short and fat like a pig.
From my father, sobriety and self-control, for he was a drug-addict and neurotic like a woman.
From my mother, critical thinking and asociality, for she was autism and mental illness.
From my tutors, self-awareness and humility, for they taught me high scores in tests are worthless in the end.

[Anonymous No.23502626]

>>23502620
is this a new copypasta?

[Anonymous No.23502635]

>>23502626
No. I just find it annoying that nobody replies.

[Anonymous No.23502646]

>>23502626
>>23502635
I guess nobody likes to reflect on their shitty lives. I get it...

[Anonymous No.23502650]

>>23502635
marcus aurelius was a cuckhold so unfortunately I can't view his philosophy as anything other than excusing weakness

[Anonymous No.23502651]

>>23502452
>Obesity or fatness is a moral failing, as it demonstrates a lack of self-control and temperance. An obese person is thus unreliable, weak, and turpid, and therefore much likelier to be psychopathic and sociopathic, a backstabber.
>Thoughts on this?

This is proven untrue by every piece of evidence we have.
Unless you're capable of conceiving of second and third order effects.
For example, obesity is a moral failing not of the individual in most cases, but of city planners, food vendors, employers, parents, etc.

It's trivially easy to design communities that have lower obesity rates. With no changes on the public's end. The only reason we don't is because of corrupt special interests and ignorant planners and politicians failing to do so.

It's like speed limit signs vs narrowing the roadway. We know now that speed limit signs SUCK at reducing speeding and actually cause more accidents in many cases by giving people a different speed limit to follow other than the "natural speed limit". By designing narrower roads, installing bollards, planting curbside greenery, and converting outer lanes of roadways to parking, you can make drivers feel as if the road is more narrow and they will naturally slow down even if the posted speed limit is still faster.

We know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that it is far, far better to control traffic speeds using intelligent design choices like narrower lane widths. We know that we should probably replace all speed limits with this outside of a handful of cases like school zones. The only reason we don't do it is because the people with the power to make these decisions are corrupt and incompetent.

In that context, you might say that they are morally culpable for accidents caused by people driving at mismatched speeds in areas where the posted speed limits differ wildly from the natural speed limits.

[Anonymous No.23502654]

>>23502651
or they could just, you know, put down the fork

[Anonymous No.23502668]

>>23502651
>>23502654
In my experience, obesity is due to a bad biome. It can be replaced with the bacteria from raw, fermented foods, consumed ~30 minutes before a meal. But no, let's judge their morals instead.

[Anonymous No.23502674]

>>23502668
You can cure obesity by just fasting long enough.

[Anonymous No.23502678]

>>23502650
lol

[Anonymous No.23502682]

>>23502674
Raw, fermented foods to reset your biome are a hell of a lot easier than fasting, and works better. Haven't you ever known someone that could eat anything they want, yet never gained weight? They had a good biome. But western medicine can't figure out how to patent it & charge a mint for kimchi, so they pretend the whole subject doesn't exist.

[Anonymous No.23502688]

>>23502654
Incorrect. Read the studies. Don't comment on the topic again until you've done the very most basic research on the topic.

Moreover, your attitude actually makes YOU more morally culpable than an obese person. Because it's also been shown that negative attitudes towards obese people predict low support for anti-obesity efforts.

People like you, because you're too stupid to comprehend anything beyond a child's understanding of morality, make obesity worse by insisting that the solution to obesity must be that every obese individual miraculously makes drastic lifestyle changes and finds new reservoirs of willpower.

That's not happening. PERIOD. Because your solution cannot work, you should discard it. It doesn't matter how strongly you believe that obesity is the fault of every obese person and that each one of them should "discipline" their way out obesity. The fact is that THIS WILL NOT EVER HAPPEN, so you must look for solutions that CAN happen.

We know that the cheapest, easiest, fastest, most effective way to reduce obesity is to structure our communities better, and that this has many benefits for non-obese people as well.

You cannot come up with a good reason to reject such a good solution other than small-minded, smooth-brained spite.

[Anonymous No.23502690]

>>23502682
>Haven't you ever known someone that could eat anything they want, yet never gained weight?
no. they didn't eat anything they wanted. in actuality they didn't eat much at all. calories in calories out, etc.
just put down the fork fatty holy shit

[Anonymous No.23502697]

/wg/ Writing General
*looks around*
I see. I see

[Anonymous No.23502704]

>>23502690
>calories in calories out
Biological systems are a lot more complicated than that. You come across as an arrogant ass with a serious case of Dunning-Krueger.

[Anonymous No.23502715]

>>23502688
>Nooooooo, I won't stop eating! Society itself has to be restructured for me to lose weight! This is the most expedient and cost-effective solution I promise. Yes, it's even more cost-effective than simply not eating, which literally costs nothing.

[Anonymous No.23502718]

>>23502715
LMAO

[Anonymous No.23502721]

>>23502651
I don't think traffic circles do anything to increase pedestrian safety. There's one a few blocks from me and it's terrifying to cross. People round that thing at 30 mph. I walk half a block up the road and jay walk because at least I can get a clear view of traffic coming each direction.

[Anonymous No.23502727]

>>23502597
>>23502605
Fatties are some of the most loyal (read: subservient), dedicated (obsessive) and intensely empathetic (self-conscious) people out there precisely because they are fat. And it's not really hard to grasp: every fatty over eats because it's a release valve from some emotional trauma (self esteem) and/or immediate stressor in their life. Thinking they eat so much simply because they "can't control it" would make a 3rd graders blush. It's literally just a junkie chasing dopamine rushes from one of the most easily available and socially accepted source possible. As a result, their self-esteem drops further and suddenly they make their fears a reality and soon they're no longer just fat, they become a "fat person". It becomes so entrenched with their identity that they shape their personality around it. They become meek, they become humble - in part because they now have legitimate physical limitations that prevent them from operating normal life as a person ('without the pack I'd be the first eaten'), but also in part because they spend copious amount of time worrying others will see the pathetic person they are. They are persistent in doing everything they can to build connections and placate others to reassure them they aren't a broken person, that they are likeable, that they shouldn't be the last one picked. I'm sure there's physiognomy at play too, the doughy features of a fat face makes them amiable and friendly, not hard or viscous. Even across cultures, they've been elevated as comedians and "funny" people.
>B-b-but these fatties on twatter slap their fupa and say their proud to be fat.
And yet they're still on social media desperately looking for self-approval. Moreover take a look at how many fatties in real life enjoy the company of others like them. They'll pose in fatty groups to relate to problems, sure, but for the "friends" they try to be around? Hardly more than one or two like them (typically fatter than them), since nothing repulses them more than looking at mirrors of themselves.
To your point, the sheer intensity fat guilt easily eclipses any would be sociopathic tendencies. Manipulating others for approval is a trait of someone who needs to satiate their vanity, not someone who lacks it in the first place (let alone is oblivious to what said approval even is). To backstab would blunder their obsession in cultivating protection. To lash out would provoke others into proving their fears were right.
Make no mistake, there's nothing moral redeeming about this behavior. But if you want people to enjoy your writing, you should probably stop deriding the very things you want to write about.

[Anonymous No.23502730]

>>23502715
If I don't eat enough, the first thing I notice is that I become light-headed and unable to focus. That's not going to work if I need to keep a day job. If I wait longer, I start to get cold, and shiver uncontrollably. You act as if not eating somehow comes without a cost. You apparently also haven't heard of GLP-1 receptor agonists like Ozempic. You appear to prefer to remain ignorant, petty, small-minded, and mean-spirited. Your view toward weight loss is similar to suggesting that you could become less ignorant if you read the right books, but all the information in the world won't change your snide, snarky attitude. And yet you completely miss the parallels. Dunning-Krueger to the end.

[Anonymous No.23502735]

>>23502654
go back to r/wowthanksimcured plebbitor

[Anonymous No.23502762]

>>23502715
Pathetic strawman attempt, but correct.
Willpower is mostly finite.
Different people experience varying levels of various biological urges, including hunger.
Consider everyone with ADHD and ASD. Conservatively, that's 6% of the population. More than 1-in-20. Due to neurodevelopmental issues, they have a significantly harder time managing their diets or sticking to exercise regiments. For example, people with ADHD typically can't form habits the way neurotypicals do because they don't even feel the little hit of "happy chemicals" that neurotypicals get when they complete a task.

This little automatic, internal reward is actually critical to forming new habits. As you experience it repeatedly, you begin to look forward to it, which motivates you to perform a task you otherwise wouldn't. Without that hit of happy chemicals, you never begin to look forward to it, so you never start feeling motivated to do the task no matter how many times you do it.

Someone with ADHD can be forced to perform the same task every day for 13 YEARS and then immediately stop doing it with no sign of habituation the day they're no longer forced to do it. 13 years may seem super specific. I'm referring to school. It's well-known that students with ADHD often crash and burn the second they're no longer being confined by the scaffolding provided by the education system. Every other student becomes habituated to the patterns of the education system. Students with ADHD never do.

But you know what fixes that problem instantly? Changing the environment.
Much better than declaring >1-in-20 people to be immoral and prone to psychopathy because their brain didn't develop properly in the womb.

>>23502721
They slow traffic when implemented correctly. They should have tall visual barriers in the center and around the edges (but not blocking crosswalk visibility) to slow drivers down. Crosswalks should also be placed to limit time on the roadway. Some places have crosswalks that go through the center of a roundabout and that's a cardinal sin.

You put tall trees in the center and some bollards near the entrances to narrow them until people naturally go 20mph or less when entering it, in most situations.

[Anonymous No.23502765]

>>23502735
kys thanks

[Anonymous No.23502784]

>>23502765
you're too dumb to realize how obvious you are. quit while you're behind

[Anonymous No.23502887]

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better." Theodore Roosevelt

[Anonymous No.23502901]

>>23502651
>>23502688
>>23502762

I don't disagree that suburbs are a horrendous model and that living spaces should be constructed much better. However, that is no excuse for being fat. Stop eating garbage and exercise, that's it, that's all you have to do. That fact that you are posting walls of text cope tells me you are fat. Stop fucking eating you disgusting piggy, I hate fat people so much bros.

[Anonymous No.23502906]

>>23502901
A friend of a friend knew a fat girl once. Her reason for eating an entire buffet for dinner each night was that she "needed to feel full". I think a lot of it is just psychological, but there is a physical habit that is formed and needs to be broken too, along with mental re-training.

[Anonymous No.23502912]

>>23502906
It shows a severe lack of intelligence. If you have the capability to look at yourself and think "Damn I'm fat I should do something about that" and can't somehow connect that to the fact that you should, at the very minimum reduce your portion sizes and cut out fast food is on the same tier as "But I did have breakfast this morning".

[Anonymous No.23502930]

I saw a guy today, must be 300 lbs, carrying three of those Starbucks dessert coffees with the whipped cream, largest size they have. Gotta be at least 1200 calories per one.

[Anonymous No.23502931]

Some fucking bitch left me 4 stars and ruined my perfect 5 star rating.

[Anonymous No.23502940]

>>23502901
Yes, we can tell you're full of hate. Have you tried, you know, not being full of hate? Can't do it? That must indicate a personality defect on your part.

[Anonymous No.23502945]

>>23502912
I can just imagine you as an alcohol counselor. "Have you tried not drinking? You can't? Wow, what a disgusting pig you are. It shows a severe lack of intelligence. I hate drunks so much." If you're not embarrassed by your behavior, I'll be embarrassed for you.

[Anonymous No.23502954]

>>23502931
I hope she can sleep happy knowing she's going to Hell.

[Anonymous No.23502961]

Been writing stories and sending them to friends. Getting good reviews. What now? I find it hard to believe that I jump straight to submitting to journals, but I also don't know what the intermediate step is.

[Anonymous No.23502976]

>>23502961
You could try submitting to contests. If you win it's a good thing to put on the cover when you sell it.

Speaking of which, where is a good place to enter contests?

[Anonymous No.23502982]

>>23502976
Depends, are you a black transexual gay indian living in an urban environment?

[Anonymous No.23502983]

>>23502610
Do you guys write best or in the zone, so to speak, when you are using a laptop or pen/paper?

[Anonymous No.23502989]

>>23502961
That's what I'm doing. Might cost $3.50 here and there, some free, but you aren't out much. I believe some opened for submissions for regular publishing in June, and some closed end of May. I think others take submissions all year-round (New Yorker, that would pay a lot of money, but as another anon asked: Are you a black transexual gay Indian living in an urban environment?).

[Anonymous No.23503025]

>>23502982
>>23502989
So are you so fixated on this specific breed of minority?

[Anonymous No.23503048]

>>23502906
Went on keto for a month, ate less as a result. After the month was over, I just continued not eating as much. Some people need to reset their appetite.

[Anonymous No.23503081]

>>23502983
pen and paper is a waste of time. by doing so you are creating extra work when you inevitably have to put it on the computer

[Anonymous No.23503088]

>>23502901
No one asked you.
This is not a discussion. This is not a debate. The facts say you're wrong. Sit down and shut up. How FUCKED UP are we going to let the world get just because some psychotic little losers like you are so braindead that you'll sit and shit your pants and smear it on your face for hours on end before you LISTEN TO THE EXPERTS FOR ONCE?

Everything keeps getting worse.
Every problem that's been predicted for the past 50 years keeps coming to pass and the infantile retards like you that denied it the entire time NEVER OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES. You just find new topics to dig your heels in on and expect us all to forget that you fucking idiots are wrong about everything 99% of the time.

The only reason we do it is because it's more trouble to hold you stupid fucks accountable than it is to just ignore you and move forward without you. But we're getting to the point where the harm you subhuman vermin are inflicting on everyone else is becoming too great to ignore. Eventually the rest of the world is going to give up trying to save it from shitheads like you and take DECADES, IF NOT CENTURIES of rage out on you for always being a retarded fucking barrier to progress.

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.
On. Every. Single. Fucking. Topic.

You mentally ill fucks contribute nothing positive to society. You're just useful fucking livestock for work that nobody with an IQ above room temperature can stand to do. You never should have been given equal treatment under the law. You always should have been isolated in captivity so those of us capable of changing our mind with new information could fulfill humanity's true potential.

At least take your retarded, outdated, rancid takes to one of the containment boards and stop shitting up every other board with your disgusting filth.

[Anonymous No.23503095]

>>23503088
Checked.

[Anonymous No.23503501]

For you, what do you think separates a good horror story from a bad one?

[Anonymous No.23503548]

>>23503088
I was overweight as a child, dropped it as soon as I moved out of home. I live in the suburbs, have a sedentary job and drive a car. What's your excuse fatty? Typing walls of text to cope with being fat is just sad, put down the spoon little piggy.

>>23502945
Alcohol is much more addictive than food because it lets you blast your problems away for hours at a time. Food just makes your mouth feel good for ten minutes at a time. I have a lot more sympathy for alcoholics but yes, general principle is the same.

[Anonymous No.23503740]

This thread is a lost cause.
So before somebody burns it to the ground and makes a new one, tell me about the book (you) want to write and what's keeping you from writing it.

[Anonymous No.23503752]

>>23502730
Most health experts these days agree fasting isn't a solution to obesity. You can and should eat, and need to ultimately change very little about your diet to lose weight. Cutting sugars and alcohol is enough most of the time. Eat properly at meals and don't snack.

When you get hungry, have a seed/nut bar, or rye crackers, or something instead of a Snickers or donuts. If you buy a sandwich, take one without mayo or cheese. Chicken instead of bacon. Little things like that. Not only do you lose weight, you'll feel more energised too.
But this isn't the thread for this.

[Anonymous No.23503761]

>>23502651
Stop eating you fat fuck.

[Anonymous No.23503792]

>>23503752
>Most health experts these days agree fasting isn't a solution to obesity
>eating less calories is not a solution to being fat

What's next? Are the "experts" going to sell me their weight loss fad diet package plan? Oh no wait I forgot it's worse, they are going to try and sell me their sketchy af organ destroying trial drug on an expensive prescription that causes me to fast despite that somehow also not being a solution. Ozempic single handedly has btfo all coping fatties, turns out that if you eat much less, with no other changes to your shit lifestyle then you stop being a fat cunt. Wow! Shocking results!

>>23503740
Fat people are disgusting and deserve to be mocked until they stop being fat. Look at the clown posting walls of seething text about how he is fat because he doesn't have a walkable neighbourhood instead of opting to not stuff his face with garbage and engage in some kind of physical activity.

[Anonymous No.23503811]

>>23503792
>and engage in some kind of physical activity.
Funniest thing is, you can be a literal worthless blob of fat shit and lay in your bed 24/7. As long as you don't put oreos in your mouth and only drink water, you will rapidly stop being a morbidly obese piece of shit.

[Anonymous No.23503836]

>>23503752
Are Kind bars good?

[Anonymous No.23503875]

>>23503792
The human body is a funny thing. If you stop eating, it assumes winter has come and starts to do everything possible to conserve energy. It will sooner drain less used muscles for fuel than burn fat. What calories you get go straight to storage instead of use. The result? You actually get even more fat despite eating next to nothing, while exercising gets harder and harder. Please educate yourself.

[Anonymous No.23503891]

>>23503836
They're an alright emergency snack and even have bars with no added sugar. But you shouldn't have more than one per day. Nuts have some component, I forget the name, which starts to cause issues in the long run if you have more than two table spoonfuls a day.

[Anonymous No.23503917]

>>23503891
I need a good "munchies" option. I have grapefruit pectin, but that's losing its effectiveness.

[Anonymous No.23503928]

>>23503875
That's not how it works at all and I expect you read it on reddit or some other shit site full of fat midwits, maybe YOU should try educating yourself. What do you think fat is for? It's express purpose is energy reserves for scarce times. So long as you consume enough carbs to still have low glycogen levels, your body will not eat muscle. What you are talking about is a full on ketogenesis state of long term (3-4+ days) zero carb consumption, it's an extreme method that will yes, eat muscle, but also annihilates fat. Fasting is for big weight loss in short periods of time and even on ozempic or with iron will, doing multi day water fasting is hard. You could eat a slice of bread or two a day along with electrolyte water more or less indefinitely until you reach near zero body fat. So stop coping fat cunt and eat less, you don't have any muscle to worry about losing anyway.

[Anonymous No.23503969]

>>23503875
>The result? You actually get even more fat despite eating next to nothing
You don't get fat unless you gain more calories than you expend you worthless sack of shit.

[Anonymous No.23503981]

>>23503875
One is lead to wonder how all those famine victims got fatter based on your MSNBC level of understanding of physiology. Put down the fork fatoid.

[Anonymous No.23503995]

>>23503981
Please understand, his genetics materialize oreo shakes and McDonalds in his mouth. It's a medical condition.

[Anonymous No.23504111]

>>23503501
Impulsively it is strangeness and uncertainty. My favorite horror story ever is Algernon Blackwoods "The Wendigo" since first it is incredibly strange. The modern idea of the wendigo is completely absent and as far as I've gathered, Algernons wendigo is not truthful to any genuine native american myth. So it is entirely unique and very strange with only the roughest paralells and similarities to the real deal. What the wendigo does in his story is super strange and not even overtly hostile, it seems to just devilishly enjoy their company. And what truly happens to DeFago is uncertain, I've read and listened to the story at least a dozen times and I've concluded Algernon intentionally made it completely impossible to fully account for what happened, which isn't surprising due to how much he shits on humans capacity to rationale everything. His prose is also good.

[Anonymous No.23504165]

>>23504111
only 47 pages?

[Anonymous No.23504192]

>>23504165
He accomplishes a lot with them.

[Anonymous No.23504393]

>>23503928
>Just kill yourself until you're no longer fat
Genius!

[Anonymous No.23504403]

>>23503928
I can attest to this. Fell massively below my target weight with a bit of fasting, though I used a few beef sticks with dietary fiber to make it work.

[Anonymous No.23504411]

>>23504393
Not eating will not kill you, fat cunt.

[Anonymous No.23504519]

can you faggots get back to talking about books, what a fatso does with his body should not affect you so much

[Anonymous No.23504528]

>>23503548
>I was overweight as a child, dropped it as soon as I moved out of home. I live in the suburbs, have a sedentary job and drive a car. What's your excuse fatty? Typing walls of text to cope with being fat is just sad, put down the spoon little piggy.

I was underweight as a child due to severe poverty, but became overweight after moving out because 15 years of chronic hunger and watching your parents skip meals so you and your siblings can have enough fuel to grow makes you never want to waste a single crumb of food.

I'm not a retard so I did my homework and read a lot of studies. I quickly realized the best way to attain and maintain a healthy weight wasn't through fighting myself, but through setting up my living conditions so I didn't have to fight.
1. I changed jobs so I could be on my feet and walking around instead of sitting at a desk all day.
2. I moved to a neighborhood nearby that was annoying to drive through but cozy to bike through
3. I chose a rental house that was only 600 square feet so I'd have to leave it if I wanted to do anything interesting.
4. I chose a location that was within 15-30 minutes walking or cycling distance of a good grocery store, pharmacy, department store, doctor's office that took my insurance, etc.

I spent a few days reading studies.
I spent about a month applying and interviewing for a new job.
I spent about two weeks looking at houses and picking one out to rent.
I spent a week packing and moving and unpacking.
I spent a few days exploring my new neighborhood to learn the best routes for getting around and check out places where I might want to spend a lot of time.

And then I just lived my life. And with no more additional effort, the weight came off. I didn't have to fight myself at all. I didn't have to undergo a battle of willpower to force myself to act like a different person. I simply changed my environment so that my current self could thrive without any additional effort. And it worked.

Just like all the research said it would.
Just like all the experts said it would.

So what's your excuse for being a subhuman moron?
What's your excuse for being a vile piece of shit that actively obstructs progress?
Why would you force worse outcomes on people just because you're a closed minded animal that can't cope with new information?

>>23503740
I want to write a book about the final revolution against closed-minded regressives but I fear I'd end up on a bunch of lists if I ever published it.

[Anonymous No.23504574]

>>23504519
I personally prefer talking about anime girls.

[Anonymous No.23504576]

>>23504528
>rentoid who lives in a pod calling anyone a subhuman
Oh, this is too much.

[Anonymous No.23504619]

>>23504411
As a matter of fact, it will.

[Anonymous No.23504639]

Is anybody here, besides me, writing something good and not just genreslop?

[Anonymous No.23504667]

>>23503501
>For you, what do you think separates a good horror story from a bad one?
A seamless blending of the familiar and the horrific. I like a horror story that lulls you into relaxing, like cuddling up and sipping tea, but then subtly introduces horror. Little details that are "off" that build up. By the end of it, I like to be able to look back at those details and realize the characters were doomed from the start. That no amount of prior skill or insight could've saved them. Either they don't make it, or they make it out with new skills or by transforming into something new.

>>23503792
>Are the "experts" going to sell me their weight loss fad diet package plan?
The experts don't sell fad diets or drugs.
Like I've lectured you about, the experts recommend building healthier communities that encourage better lifestyles so nobody needs fad diets or drugs to lose weight.

I'm from the backwoods. You want to visit your next door neighbor? That's a half-mile walk down a dirt road or through a pasture at a minimum. When you go into town, you know half the people you see and everything is in walking distance. You start at the diner, have breakfast, walk to the bank, walk to the library, walk to the grocery store, etc. You still see people ride in on horseback to this day.

The experts say something closer to THAT is what we should be aiming for. Smaller communities. Walk-able neighborhoods. Communities that can grow their own food instead of importing it from big factory farms covered in pesticides.

The experts have identified TRADITIONAL community formats to be the healthiest for us but you still fight them because you don't actually care about the details. Your opinion is based on what your authority figures tell you to believe, and they make their profits off of driving us into unhealthy lifestyles, so they tell you that you're against traditionalist community formats and you mindlessly do as you're told.

>>23503811
>>23503969
>>23503995
"hurr calories in vs calories out durr" as if 2,000 calories of whole foods is remotely the same as 2,000 calories of high fructose corn syrup.
They behave differently in the body. I'm an engineer and the way I explain it to morons like you is this: Can you put just ANY fuel into a car, regardless of the engine type, and utilize them all the same? No. Different engines are optimized for different fuel types and some engines can't even use some fuels.

You avoid this because you're a lazy fuck that prefers simple answers.

>>23504519
The biggest problem on this entire site are these backwards vermin infesting every thread. They get banned from every other site and they're too desperate for attention to piss into the ocean of piss that is /b/ or /pol/ so they shit up every other board.

>>23504576
That was when I was a fresh college graduate. I own my own place out in the country now and get my physical activity from growing an acre of food for the local community, woodworking, helping neighbors, etc.

[Anonymous No.23504682]

In real life people never actually talk about what matters, right? It’s just sports or politics or gossip about who’s fucking who right? People don’t actual hash out differences or discuss their feelings. At least, I’ve never seen anything like that happen.

[Anonymous No.23504695]

Since this thread was off-topic from the inception, I shall act the lightbringer.
Is it better to bait wish-fulfillment by writing the love interest as a cute tomboy, or by writing a big titty goth?
I have tentatively gone with tomboy, but there is yet room for change.
This is a writing discussion for writists to discuss about in the writism general.

[Anonymous No.23504736]

>>23503501
>>23504667
>A seamless blending of the familiar and the horrific.

To expand: I dislike horror stories driven by forced mistakes. I hate when the story is driven by people doing stupid things no sane person would do in a given situation. So I strongly prefer stories where doing the "right" thing turns out to be the wrong thing. For example, if the characters are besieged in a farmhouse and they decide to make a break for the barn to grab a pitchfork and scythe to defend themselves with and try to hide until dawn, but then realize when they get there that the thing menacing them has made its lair there and if they stay until dawn it will catch them when it returns, forcing them back out into the darkness.

Bonus points if the story opened with a scene like one of the characters struggling to clear a huge wasp nest out of the barn. It presents the barn in a familiar way, and the mundane struggle against relatively trivial insects is a nice contrast for later in the story when something much more dangerous has infested the barn. It was a bright and cozy space at the start of the story, with a minor bug problem. But by the end of the story it's cold and dark and the characters are in mortal peril just being there.

Something like a wasp sting can be a small detail of horror. It raises tension. And then you dial it up from there. For example, maybe the first character that went missing was last seen headed towards the vicinity of the barn. The next victim may show signs of dying to venom. When the first victim is discovered, they have a puncture wound on their abdomen and things are moving under their skin. Finally, the MCs realize the full scope of their situation: Something is hunting them to use their bodies as incubators and food sources for its offspring.

But living things make better incubators than dead things. When they touched the first victim, they were still warm. So when they go back and check on the second victim they find that they're not dead either, just paralyzed. But have they been implanted yet? Do the MCs try to save them and risk bringing the infestation with them or do they put the person out of their misery or leave them to their fate?

Imo, a good horror story has either a lot of terrible little realizations and dilemmas, or one or two really huge ones.

Another way to look at it would be that we all live by building models of reality in our minds. What makes a good horror story, to me, is when a safe reality has been subtly replaced with a horrific one, and the characters must adapt to the new one before it's too late. It's like waking up at home in your bed, and then stubbing your toe because the furniture is slightly out of place. And making breakfast but realizing it's spoiled even though you bought that food earlier in the week. Then getting paranoid and realizing the floorboards creak differently and the door that sticks shuts easily now. Slowly, the MC realizes they're NOT in their home anymore.

[Anonymous No.23504758]

>>23504682
People have real discussions. They just tend to do it only in certain circumstances. People don't hash things out over small-talk, but they might do it if they find themselves alone away from the rest of the group during a get-together.

A real world example from my job would be that we had a systemic issue that spanned multiple departments that we've been trying to fix for months. We had meeting after meeting and they never went anywhere because everyone would get defensive and avoid talking their share of accountability out of (rightful) fear that the other teams would take advantage of that to avoid opening themselves up to criticism.

One person had the idea of having an after-work happy hour one night per week and by the end of the first one people were already opening up more. By the end of the second we were finally having open conversations about our broken system. By the end of the third we were making plans to improve things.

All it took was a relaxing atmosphere, food and drinks, and everything being "unofficial" since it was off the clock.

Likewise, I ran the student council in college and nobody ever wanted to debate things during meetings. So we had to all go out to dinner together afterwards so people could relax and chitchat until people slowly eased into the topics they needed to debate.

But then again, if a character is autistic or has ADHD, maybe they would just open up and start talking about big issues because small talk bores them and they don't need to be eased into tense exchanges the way neurotypicals do.

>>23504695
Goth tomboy with a badonk.

[Anonymous No.23504863]

<--- this anon has written 4000 words this week

what have you losers done

[Anonymous No.23504885]

>>23504863
Wrote over a thousand just today.

[Anonymous No.23504891]

>>23504863
I wrote 6000.

[Anonymous No.23504929]

>>23504758
The only times I get real discussion out of men is when they're piss drunk. Women, on the other hand, could have a bit higher threshold for it.

[Anonymous No.23504963]

I want to write a fantasy story with absolutely 0 exposition. Stuff just happens, nothing is explained, not one thing. Has anyone done that before?

[Anonymous No.23504972]

>>23504963
dialogue will necessarily include exposition
and not having a specific narrator voice has been done many times before

[Anonymous No.23504981]

My book is getting closer to conpletion and I'm still debating whether I want to add commissioned pictures every few dozen pages like a light novel or something. At first I was 100% set on doing it because my story was supposed to be a visual novel before it was a book, so every character and every major event in the book I already have an idea of what they looks like in my head. I really loved the idea of being able to give the reader exactly what I imagined my finished work would look like. Obviously switching from VN to book has made that more difficult, and stripping the images entirely would pretty much kill that idea.

As time passes though, I start to doubt if it'd actually be worth it for a few reasons: 1. I don't want to fuck up the imagery that the reader comes up with themselves, especially because there's a lot of dream sequences and other trippy shit in the story. I kinda like the idea of the reader coming up with their own version for how it looked 2. Idk I feel like having images is kinda like, desperate(?) and trying too hard to stand out. Like I don't think the story can be unique on its own 3. I save money of course lol.

I'm really like completely 50/50 on it and I'd much rather have a set idea on what I want to do as soon as the story is completed. Kinda annoying.

[Anonymous No.23504992]

>>23504981
>commissioned pictures every few dozen pages
that sounds like a lot of pictures. I'd say huge waste of time and money. commissioning a handful of pieces of artwork may be cool, but I wouldn't go any further than that

[Anonymous No.23505010]

>>23502610
What are some petty things a person might do when on a war council with someone they dislike?
>Snort at their decisions
>Point out the flaws of every suggestion
>Only speak to them through an intermediary or servant
>Support opposing viewpoints or suggestions

[Anonymous No.23505017]

>>23505010
>on a war council
act like an adult and not some sniveling child

[Anonymous No.23505034]

>>23505017
Historical leaders have often been petty manchildren

[Anonymous No.23505044]

>>23505010
What scale of impact are you looking for?
No impact: Stare them down or never look at them.
Little impact: Be noticeably distracted while the other is speaking. Either start reading something or turn to an advisor and whisper with them.
Moderate impact: Scrutinize everything they say.
Big impact: Interrupt them.
Bigger impact: Antagonize them by proposing things that would exclude or hurt them, like sending an expeditionary force to a dangerous area and making sure all the soldiers come from the other party's nation.
Huge impact: Break the council by declaring war or manipulating another party into declaring war with the other party.

Another option may be to leak information to enemies of the other party. If you hear in the council, "We're having trouble defending our Eastern border so we have no troops to spare", send a covert messenger to resistance or guerilla groups or hostile neighbors and tell them the Eastern border is weak.

[Anonymous No.23505075]

>>23504992
Hmm you might be right about that. Though, if I had only a handful of pieces I wouldnt be exactly sure of where to put them. I could still spread them throughout the story but I feel like itd be jarring to read like 70 pages and then randomly get an image and then back to another 50 pages of regular text. Maybe I could just put all the images at the end or beginning so they can flip through them seperate from the story idk.

[Anonymous No.23505090]

>>23505034
You have to be an autistic tranny to crave power. Imagine what type of person would kill people by thousands for power. Trannies.

[Anonymous No.23505093]

What’s the right way to do a subplot? How often should it be brought up between introduction and resolution? AN2D

[Anonymous No.23505111]

>>23505093
Have a character follow their arc. If a character is a hothead for instance, use their emotions to allow them a mistake that will take them to a different setting to meet different characters, etc and that should eventually move the story forward. Subplots are usually just justified diversions for the main characters to meet different people in different settings.

[Anonymous No.23505115]

>>23505093
Near the plot it's relevant to, barring obvious parallels that are better saved for it being further away, and between acts that aren't going anywhere any time soon. It's a palate cleanser and distraction that shifts the pace down a notch or has action where the main plot is static. You may as well reduce it to a denotation of the passage of time and parallel motion counter to the story.

[Anonymous No.23505127]

>>23505034
You seem to suffer from an odd view of the world. A war council is an advisory committee of professional bureaucrats and soldiers which is assembled to either make possible the commands of the head of state or to help the head of state make an informed decision about a given conflict.
These are the dependable organs of government that hold up the country, even in absence of a competent leader.
They are not typically petulant children, and though they might certainly dislike each other for personal or political reasons, it would be exceedingly difficult for someone willful enough to spite another at the expense of their duties to rise to the height of a seat on such a council.

[Anonymous No.23505130]

>>23505075
I'd put them at the end, a few nice, glossy pictures, with maybe a short blurb about the character or event that's being depicted

[Anonymous No.23505143]

>>23505115
NTA but this makes me think some of my subplots need to be broken out into their own standalone stories. Thanks for the explanation.

[Anonymous No.23505156]

>>23505143
There are endless ways to do it, but subplots are subordinate and parallel to the main story, coming back to support it, at least thematically, at some point. Consider the companion novella. Some people hate it but I like when it's the kind of thing you're probably having a problem with. Just a whole short piece that's thematically linked and mostly separate from the whole. Where you wonder how, exactly, it's related and feel like it's somehow incomplete in spite of reading the novel it vaguely relates to.

That's my shit.

[Anonymous No.23505175]

>>23505143
>their own standalone stories
I'm doing exactly this after I realized all the minor characters' arcs were eclipsing the main characters'. It's fun to properly flesh them out as full-fledged stories in first person then put only traces of them largely misunderstood by the mc in the novel.

[Anonymous No.23505179]

where to find conservative - nonfiction - science agents

[Anonymous No.23505182]

>>23505130
Thank you brotherman

[Anonymous No.23505190]

>>23502730
I never have that problem fasting for a week. it sounds like you got diabetes my dude

[Anonymous No.23505194]

>>23502931
guess not everybody wants to eat your ass

[Anonymous No.23505217]

How long do I have to devote myself try and make it?

I'll still work part time, but I really want to write at least one book that'll be traditionally published.

[Anonymous No.23505221]

>>23505217
You could make it on the investments in 20 years, maybe. Tradpub at this point is either going to be a big advance and questionable return, which is rare and common respectively, or a joke of an advance and potential for more return. If you get an offer less than half of what you already have, I'd go small press and get better royalties.

[Anonymous No.23505238]

>>23505217
oh i should also add, i have a paid off house and live in bumfuck arizona

[Anonymous No.23505241]

>>23503891
>emergency snack
what?
I hope you know exactly how absurd this is.
There exists no situation in which a normal person will ever require a snack, such that a specific food item must be prepared as hedge against this occurrence.
If you think this is normal or reasonable, you are simply addicted to eating, which is apparently an emerging phenomenon in America, bizarrely.

[Anonymous No.23505267]

Man, I really just have nothing today

[Anonymous No.23505359]

>>23505241
>There exists no situation in which a normal person will ever require a snack
Have you ever worked a day in your life?

[Anonymous No.23505392]

My penis is not wroking

[Anonymous No.23505401]

>>23505359
You don't die from not stuffing your face the instant you feel hunger pangs.

[Anonymous No.23505409]

I felt like writing something in the style or tone of Proverbs. What do you guys think?

1. Like weed depression grows, like weed to be seen--for weed is the first to thrive in barren soil, just as depression thrives in a painful world.
2. Reviled, hated, shunned, they commonly are, yet not always wrong: Purslane is nutritious and feeds; Dandelion reaches deep and draws out nourishment for plentiful fruit; Plantain heals; Stinging Nettle makes delicious soup; Others drive away maleficent creatures.
3. Likewise depression will make you consume yourself, so that you get to know yourself; reflection will make you wise and prosperous; wisdom and prosperity will heal your wounds; healthy appetite will pleasure your body; and the colors of the malignant shall be revealed.
4. My son, be not afraid of depression, do not run and do not hide from it: behold it, embrace it, understand it, and you will be better than fools--for they run and run without knowing whither they go, tripping and getting lost, but the wise stop and consider direction, reaching their destination.

[Anonymous No.23505451]

>>23505409
there may be an audience, somewhere, but good luck with that

[Anonymous No.23505460]

>>23505409
If you want to turbo charge this, read the Tao Te Ching.

[Anonymous No.23505465]

>>23502762
post body lmao

[Anonymous No.23505475]

>>23505451
The idea is to write down what I have learned for my children to read. These four verses are about depression; I would also write them about a healthy diet, exercise, gardening, etc.
>>23505460
That looks good. WIll do. Thanks, anon.

[Anonymous No.23505485]

>>23505359
the fact that you do not understand indicates that you possess an abnormal lust for food.

[Anonymous No.23505494]

>>23504963
Cold opens are fairly commonplace now that the no infodumps autism has metastasised. What you're saying is basically only soft exposition, which is quite fashionable. The problem is getting people to give a shit if you don't explain the stakes, so you would need to keep things fairly grounded and close to the main character's basic, immediate needs. It's definitely doable.

[Anonymous No.23505572]

>>23502945
I say that all the time

[Anonymous No.23505610]

>unmarried King
>Has an elder sister and she has a son
>Names his nephew heir
>For a pretty long time he's the heir and his sister and her family are happy with that
>King however finally marries
>Has a few sons and daughters
>Nephew's status as heir is now in question
The nephew and the King are quite close, I'm not sure what would be a good way for the matter of inheritance to be resolved peacefully

[Anonymous No.23505694]

>>23505610
The nephew's claim is fairly weak (irl kings would include disclaimers to making their nephew their heir that would nullify his claim when their own son is born, and a natural heir outranks a non natural named heir) so he would struggle to get enough political support domestically to try to usurp his cousin by force. Violence would only be likely if some foreign power wanted to institute him or destabilise the kingdom, which is also unlikely if he and the reigning King are on good terms, or if the King is unpopular enough that his opponents can all get behind any claimant who would usurp his line.

A possible solution would be devolving part of the realm into a Principality under the nephew's rule, with some sort of provision that makes him strictly subservient to the actual heir. That would still be somewhat vulnerable to subversives in high society and foreign manipulators but those are dangers that can't really be accounted for peacefully.

[Anonymous No.23505705]

What is a tasteful amount of rape?

[Anonymous No.23505724]

>>23505705
-7

[Anonymous No.23505728]

>>23505705
Implied rape like bawdy pirates running wild in a coastal village is pretty much fine. Graphic rape a la Clan of the Cave Bear can be impactful exactly once before it starts to seem gratuitous.

[Anonymous No.23505751]

Anyone want to critique this excerpt? from a longer project/novel I'm working on:

Eventually, I give up and go out. Not to Hyde Park or Green Park but to the local one, a sprawling treeless field. I’ve never seen the grass grow or wilt here. It’s not a name-brand park but it has stood in for them in film and TV. This is the fountain where Hugh Grant fought Colin Firth, etc. One of the “cycle superhighways” runs through it. I lie in the shade and watch some superhighwaygoers wheel by. A man on a fixed gear. Woman in a Costa uniform. Man on a Brompton electric suffering in the heat. On the way home I’m crossing the road when someone says, ‘Hey’, I turn and look and she slams on her brakes, and the bike (huge, upright, boatlike) rolls to a stop and gently bumps my leg.
Anna asks me how it’s going. I thought she lived – like all of Marian’s friends – in a much nicer neighbourhood across the river.
‘I’ve moved, actually.’
She leans the boat against some scaffolding and we chat for a while. Eventually it comes up.
‘Oh I heard about you and Marian’, and the sad smile on her face could be bait, and I want to bite, to say that she was getting to be too much etc. But I take the high road. My least favourite road.
‘Yeah, well. Oh well.’ I wait for the bite, but it doesn’t come. I notice it’s not a sad smile, even. A wry smile. She’s smiling wryly. I wonder what this means.
We talk some more, and I remember how I told Max once that life is better if you pretend everyone is coming on to you. But again. Maybe it isn’t.
‘You should come to my flatwarming,’ she says.
‘Not warm enough already?’ I say, motioning at the burning sun. It’s so terrible she doesn’t even register it. The fact that I would feel driven to say something like that says to me that, at the very least, I should go to this flatwarming. When I get home I lie on the rug and try to write down what happened. I’m stuck on describing Anna – her healthy-looking hair, her very deep eyes. I decide I’m definitely going to the flatwarming.

[Anonymous No.23505767]

>>23505705
>>23505728
And in booktok titles like acotar, and romance novels, you need several rapes because the audience only buys to the books to read about the mediocre self-insert heroine being ravaged by a commanding pirate/surgeon/millionaire/vampire/werewolf/mafia boss/fae/stalker/serial killer that secretly has good reasons for being so bad.

[Anonymous No.23505818]

>>23502945
>Have you tried not drinking? You can't? Wow, what a disgusting pig you are. It shows a severe lack of intelligence. I hate drunks so much.

[Anonymous No.23505855]

>>23504667
Dude really typed all this instead of closing the doritos packet

[Anonymous No.23505859]

Is it more correct to say "no reservations against doing this," "no reservations about doing this," or "no reservations doing this" to describe a person that will not hesitate to do something

[Anonymous No.23505910]

>>23505818
kek

[Anonymous No.23505965]

>>23505859
About/over seem to be the most common collocations, but personally I don't see any problem with "against" and "on".
>no reservations about doing this
>no reservations over doing this
>no reservations against doing this
>no reservations on doing this

[Anonymous No.23505994]

>>23502688
>>23502715
>i think society should be remade so that fat people should be herded into concentration camps
>nooooo you can't remake society by making streets more convenient for pedestrians
You completely lack self-awareness.

[Anonymous No.23506012]

>>23505190
So now you're a medical expert. Just how much of a phony can one person be? You are an amazing twit. And no, I don't have diabetes; I think my doctor would have noticed. Duh.

[Anonymous No.23506018]

>>23505965
Thank you!

[Anonymous No.23506244]

>>23505994
We aren't going to kill you in the camps fatoid, you are free to exit at any time. Unfortunately there is a set of normal human sized prison bars around the camp which your tubby gunt can't egress through. You'll just have to spend all day on the stairmaster until you aren't a revolting gelatinous blob that every normal human looks at like a travelling freak show.

[Anonymous No.23506278]

Why are you people so mean?!

[Anonymous No.23506292]

>>23506278
Fat cunts deserve to be socially shamed for their lack of basic impulse control, hideous physical appearance and unbelievably disproportionate load on the healthcare system.

[Anonymous No.23506298]

https://youtu.be/u0C9D92XHoU?si=A3bMLBbjII3j7oZ9

[Anonymous No.23506376]

>>23504667

>The biggest problem on this entire site are these backwards vermin infesting every thread. They get banned from every other site and they're too desperate for attention to piss into the ocean of piss that is /b/ or /pol/ so they shit up every other board.

And yet, you are posting here. There is another site designed specifically for bloviating idiots LARPing as country dwelling engineers who outsource all their critical thinking to 'EXPERTS'. That place is called Reddit. You'd love it.

Now leave us alone and trundle your lying fat ass and control freak tendencies over there. Thank you

[Anonymous No.23506392]

>>23506244
I'm not even fat. Raw, fermented foods took care of that. As I pointed out. You're just some sort of brainlet fascist psychopath.

[Anonymous No.23506411]

>>23506392
>I'm not even fat

No one who isn't fat posts all that cope. Go be fat somewhere else.

[Anonymous No.23506416]

>>23505465
faggot

[Anonymous No.23506422]

>>23506411
Wow, you've really got your head shoved up your ass. No surprise, but damn, I think you've set a record.

[Anonymous No.23506448]

>>23506422
You're the one who is blaming the entirety of civilisation for your obesity rather than taking any kind of responsibility for stuffing your mouth with oreos.

[Anonymous No.23506455]

>>23506448
I bet you’d prefer I stuff my mouth with your big, veiny cock. Wouldn’t you? You disgust me, you fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.23506459]

>>23506455
Suddenly gay lmao
You truly are a redditor
Go back you absolute retard

[Anonymous No.23506464]

>>23506448
You're talking to several different anons here, in case you're too stupid to figure that out. I'm not obese, nor fat, nor do I eat goyslop like Oreos. Raw, fermented foods took care of my weight problem a long time ago. I didn't have to change what I ate (which is pretty healthy anyway, but not ascetic), I just needed a better biome. You have a child's understanding of biology, and a middle-school bully's lack of empathy.

[Anonymous No.23506474]

>>23505156
>Consider the companion novella
That's an interesting idea. I feel like 1 or 2 central books and 5-6 smaller companions might be the way for me to go. One character has backstory that goes back before anyone else in the cast was born and it's been tough figuring out how to tell their story without a lot of flashbacks or something.

>>23505175
>It's fun to properly flesh them out as full-fledged stories in first person then put only traces of them largely misunderstood by the mc in the novel.
That would even sort my story out better, too. The primary MC is a fatalist that just does whatever and says "what will be, will be", so he doesn't probe or ask a lot of questions while crossing paths with most of the other characters.

>>23506376
Do you think nobody watched you get demolished and avoid every single point just to throw a tantrum and shit yourself? And the projection of accusing someone else of outsourcing their critical thinking after getting ridiculed for mindlessly believing whatever their masters tell them to think? Stop shitting up the thread with off-topic garbage. You lost. You got absolutely steamrolled and failed to defend yourself against even one single tiny little point. You're like a chihuahua that got punted 30 feet and then got back up and took another run at someone that obviously outclasses you in every single way.

>>23506448
Nobody even said anything like that. What kind of moron reads "all this research says we should build healthier communities" and thinks "you just want to blame civilization!"?

Why don't you take some responsibility for being dumber than the average 7th grade and just fuck off?
Why don't you take responsibility for being a closed-minded, backwards, bitter, childish piece of a shit and go somewhere you fit in more, like a special needs daycare?
Be an adult and own up to your failures as a human being and just stop replying if all you're going to do is shitpost?
You're lucky the thread traffic is so low, otherwise you'd get suspended here just like you've probably been suspended on multiple other boards.

>>23506464
>You're talking to several different anons here
It's shocking to me that they don't seem to realize how universally hated they are. Some of their shitposts got negative replies faster than the reply cooldown allows, meaning 3+ people slapped their shit in less than 90 seconds or whatever.

[Anonymous No.23506483]

Holy shit, man. Yesterday I made a post criticizing fatsos' lack of self-control and thus a potential link with psychopathy/sociopathy, and some fatsos spent the whole day of yesterday and today writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of copes.
LMAO.

[Anonymous No.23506503]

>>23506483
You made around two dozen posts, seething sociopath troll.

[Anonymous No.23506514]

>>23506474
>Nobody even said anything like that

You opened up the thread with a giant post saying exactly that linking to the previous thread because you just couldn't let it go that normal people find you repellent.

>>23506483
They are fucked in the head, corn syrup on the brain

[Anonymous No.23506541]

I bet fat people mostly read (and write) genre slop.

[Anonymous No.23506563]

>>23506474

>And the projection of accusing someone else of outsourcing their critical thinking after getting ridiculed for mindlessly believing whatever their masters tell them to think?

That was the first time I've posted anything in this thread, larper. I know this is /lit/ but scrawling lengthy, delusional tantrums full of highschool-tier utopian ideas to solve problems you won't even attempt to understand doesn't -actually- count as writing a novel.

You've given us nothing but a masterclass in pseudointellectual projection. Get the fuck out of here and stop hosing the thread down with your corn syrup-infused mental diarrhea.

[Anonymous No.23506596]

>>23506563
>full of highschool-tier utopian ideas
So utopian they've only been implemented in... most developed nations on earth? All of which have significantly lower obesity rates?

>Get the fuck out of here and stop hosing the thread down with your corn syrup-infused mental diarrhea.
This is pathetic trolling.
>I'm the one shitting up this thread and I'm getting called out for it but if I just go "no u!" surely that'll convince everyone that I'm right!

[Anonymous No.23506604]

>>23506596
Here bro, it's for you!

[Anonymous No.23506610]

>>23506596
>Canberra
>Adelaide
>Brisbane

Lol, lmao. You've never been here have you? All of those cities are suburb sprawl nightmares with joke tier public transport. Straight out of the American model and yet somehow manage to make the top 20 list? Hmm

[Anonymous No.23506664]

I can't even relate to most of this thread anymore but I'm still here to ask for help. Do any publishing houses still accept nonfiction cold queries

[Anonymous No.23506667]

I've always believed that every time you write a fight scene, you should always have your protagonist take at least one injury, even if they're fighting a bunch of nameless mooks. How do you guys feel about that?

[Anonymous No.23506674]

>>23506667
But what if the protagonist is an overpowered super duper ultra ultimate GOD chosen one dragon fist heavenly emperor demon lord hero of the people?

[Anonymous No.23506688]

>>23506667
>>23506674

[Anonymous No.23506693]

>>23506674

Then have them fight other overpowered super duper ultra ultimate GOD chosen one dragon fist heavenly emperor demon lord hero of the people.

[Anonymous No.23506699]

>>23506693
Umu, indeed...

[Anonymous No.23506704]

>>23506674
What is this trash?

[Anonymous No.23506711]

>>23506704
It's called equality. Don't you like it?

[Anonymous No.23506722]

>>23506674
>>23506688

Hehe, nice

[Anonymous No.23506723]

>>23506704
Top subscribed patreon on royal road

[Anonymous No.23506768]

>>23502727
yet fat people are responsible for child crimes and all kind of shit. saying they don't manipulate or backstab because of their role in society is retarded. I've known a lot of fat people and most of them were manipulative pieces of shit

[Anonymous No.23506774]

>>23506664
Not if you’re fat, fatty.

[Anonymous No.23506851]

>have lots of ideas for dream novel, always thinking about it every day
>but not good enough writer to tackle it just yet so focusing on short stories to practice
>anything I come up with that isn't related to my dream novel bores me to tears and I don't want to work on it
What do?

[Anonymous No.23506859]

>>23506768
Of course being fat doesn't preclude them from being morally abject people. It's the leap in logic from "being fat is a moral failing => they're more likely to being psychopaths" demonstrates no effort into understanding their fat mindset in the first place

[Anonymous No.23506874]

>>23506851
Lol, can relate.
Maybe try writing short stories of things related to your novel but not directly in it? For example, if there's a minor character A that won't be dwelt upon due to being a minor character, then write a short story about that character. Likewise, if there's a painting or house mentioned, write a short story about that painting and its artist, or about that house and its builders or the generations that lived it.
You get the idea.

[Anonymous No.23506879]

>>23506851
Realize you'll never get better if you don't start off bad and start writing that dream novel.

[Anonymous No.23506885]

>>23506879
If he writes it bad, then it won't be a dream novel anymore but an overwhelming disappointment.

[Anonymous No.23506902]

Hi /lit/ I have been writing for 37 years. I am a published author but most of my free time when not writing stuff for money is writing fanfiction for fun. Fanfiction is a good tool to use to hone your skillset or develop a style you are wanting to employ. I typically write 5-10 hours per day, but do not write more than 3,000 words in one day. To write anymore is not good. Practice stream of consciousness writing. Do not make drafts or skeletons for chapters or even a story. Let your mind wander.

Those I adore: Machen, Dunsany, CAS, Tolkien (yes, I know), Macdonald, Lewis, Bradbury.

[Anonymous No.23506903]

>>23506874
Thanks for the advice, maybe I'll try writing something revolving around the main characters' younger years before the novel starts, flesh out the details of their personalities.
>>23506879
If it's ass I'll have to kill myself, so no. I'm gonna get better first.

[Anonymous No.23506958]

>>23506885
What are rewrites? Do you think every book comes out perfect in the first draft?

>>23506903
Ass book is better than no book. Ass book can be improved. But can't do nothing with no book.

[Anonymous No.23506971]

>>23506902
Nice blogpost, now tell us what you've published so we can cyberstalk you

[Anonymous No.23507335]

Finished my first draft and now I’m trying to sit down and do my second, but when I do try to revise what I’ve written I have this extreme anxiety to the point where I feel the desire to hurt myself. Anyone else experienced this?

[Anonymous No.23507377]

>>23506902
>To write anymore is not good.
3k a day to me feels like I'm being fucking gutted for words unless I know how to lead the story ahead of time.

Sometimes words flow and flow, sometimes I can't get 1k out.

[Anonymous No.23507384]

>>23506674
God I hate nu-anime.

[Anonymous No.23507413]

I've never gotten drunk before. How'd I do?

The planet was spinning, well that's obvious but to Kanashi it could be taken literally. His legs felt like they were made of jelly and he clung onto the wall next to him for dear life. He’d only drinken another two glasses of the Green Dragon stuff so he shouldn’t have been this messed up right?
It was less than 1/6th of the bottle after all. The bartender even complimented Kanashis alcohol tolerance so that meant he should be fine right? Well Kanashi didn’t speak Edogo so maybe he only made that last part up in his head.
Either way he didn’t really care, the only thing that mattered at the moment was finding a place to relax and take a breath. Maybe even somewhere to pee.
Ugh, how can people even consider driving like this? He hiccuped, he now could relate to those he tried not to trample over as he walked down the street. They too must have felt like he did.
“Shit…” He sighed as he clung to a street light, the urge to vomit grew in his throat and he tried to flex his stomach to hold it in but his drunken body refused to work like he wanted it to.
Eventually the street light turned green and he limped across the road to a small public bathroom which he stumbled into.
“Gah!” He yelped, nearly slipping in a puddle on the floor. He grabbed onto the bowl of the sink just barely managing to stop his fall before his head smashed into the brick wall. “Couldn’t hold it!?” He screamed angrily.
Slowly working his way back up to his feet he hobbled over to the single urinal which was clogged with diarrhea and toilet paper.
“Lovely, really lovely.” He growled, turning around and limping to the bathroom stall. Kicking the door down he stumbled to the dirty toilet which was already full of other people's shit, piss and vomit.
“Ughhh.” He sighed as he released his bladder, it felt amazing like he’d been holding it his whole life. He felt warm all over a good conforming feeling. Like being tucked into a nice warm bed on a cold winter night. But he also felt wet, yes warm and wet at the same time.
“?”
Looking down he saw that he’d never even pulled his pants down.
“Fuck.”
Then everything went black.

[Anonymous No.23507417]

>>23506704
It's that gay wish fullfilment level 2 slopshit.

[Anonymous No.23507438]

>>23507413
>The planet was spinning, well that's obvious but to Kanashi it could be taken literally.
Off to a bad start. Aside from being awkwardly assembled, this sentence is a non sequitur. The planet *is* spinning. You meant to express that the world is figuratively spinning around the character due to his drunkenness.
>He’d only drinken
I hope you're ESL

[Anonymous No.23507494]

Obese slug creature
Men with guns come to his door
The treadmill awaits

[Anonymous No.23507538]

>>23507335
Do you want a cheap professional editor? I'm free this week

[Anonymous No.23507619]

The first time Larry Pensecola spoke with Mary Ann Hart was in their sophomore year of prep school, by a vending machine on the fourth floor lunch room. Mary Ann wanted to know the telescopic power of a Canon EOS-1D. Larry had to explain that the Canon EOS, a DLSR camera, didn't have a fixed "telescopic power". It all depended on the focal length of the lens you attached to it. Fifty milimeters would get you something approximating the human eye, while anything bigger than two-hundred--a telephoto lens--would be something like 20/5 vision. Four times the zoom, but a narrower field of view. Normally Larry wouldn't give girls like Mary Ann the time of day, because they lived in that part of town which was fenced in by manicured hedges, iron finials, and tall white pickets. Larry, on the other hand, lived with his mom in a two bedroom basement apartment whose toilet would run over when it rained too much. It wasn't that he was prejudiced, just that he wanted to a keep a low profile until graduation. He had big plans for his future and none of them involved coaching a future prom queen on the sacred intricacies of photography.

Fifteen years later, Larry sat in a Starbucks in Midtown Manhattan, sipping a venti caramel macchiato, and staring at the back of a woman's head as she ordered four very specific lattes to go. The man who had hired Larry to follow this woman had made it clear that his payout would be commensurate to his discretion. Guys were always insecure about the girl catching on, as if the prescience he provided them would ring hollow, would seem too good to be true. Ladies, on the rare occasion they sought his services at all, had the opposite problem. Whatever Larry gave them, however thorough the final zip file of photos, transcripts, email chains, browser histories, it all seemed not enough. Of course, Larry did curate everything to paint a more flattering picture. He had learned the hard way the cost of absolute objectivity. His clients seldom wanted the truth, rather what they needed was for him to complete the fantasy. They wanted to fall in love. He grudgingly obliged.

As the woman waited for her order by the pick-up counter, Mary Ann Hart, whom he hadn't seen in fifteen years, shouted his name from across the room.


Thoughts? Would you keep reading?

[Anonymous No.23507650]

>>23507619
i'd keep reading yeah
i found the product placement and the use of mary's full / middle name a bit jarring but that's mostly subjective

[Anonymous No.23507685]

>>23506902
Does this apply even if your fanfiction is cringe?
I go for realism and like to balance how much a character "wins" and "loses" in my own writing, but 100% of my fanfiction ideas are something like, "What if Bombadil had joined the party and trivialized every encounter they had? What if he had just slapped the Balrog so hard it inverted its thoracic cavity? What if he opened a fissure under Saruman's tower and caused it sink until the top was level with the surface and Saruman was stuck standing eye-to-eye with Pippin? What if he just walked up and knocked on the Black Gate and it fell off its hinges?"

>>23507413
It works. That's entirely plausible. I don't think you have to change anything if you don't want to.

If I were writing it he'd miss the green light, because time passes weirdly when you're drunk. And because alcohol lowers inhibitions, if there aren't any cars, a drunk person is more likely to just jaywalk on a red light than that same person would be while sober.

Also, rather than forgetting to unzip to piss, he'd forget to put his dick away. I always remember the important stuff when drunk. It's the little details that trip me up. Aim included. It's easy to lose focus for a second or two and have your stream shift out of alignment with the bowl and you might not even notice.

Unless you get drunk often, you're not used to swaying while pissing, so you may not even realize you need to focus on counteracting that if you don't want to piss all over the general area around the toilet. But that's the sort of thing you learn from, so if the character gets drunk a lot, they probably know to use one hand to brace themselves so they don't sway, and focus their attention on where their stream is going.

But then again, if the toilet is as bad as you described, they might not give a fuck and the reduced inhibitions may lead to them deliberately pissing all over the stall.

And "blacking out" in this situation would be more like him getting frustrated and saying "Oh fuck it," and no longer resisting the urge to sleep. Most drunk people would pick a place to pass out, like up against the bathroom wall, or in a bush outside, rather than just fall over. But having him pass out after pissing is 100% on-point because super drunk people tend to be motivated by basic needs and if they're gonna pass out, it'll be right after they piss, or eat, or fuck, etc.

It's also worth mentioning that "blacking out" often refers more to the memory impairment that comes with being very drunk. So you may choose to reflect him blacking out more by him remembering little or nothing of what happened rather than having him pass out.

Also, ignore this loser:
>>23507438

[Anonymous No.23507728]

>>23507494
Raw fermented foods
Took care of my weight problem
With no more effort

Also, aren't you evading your ban at this point?

[Anonymous No.23507733]

>>23507728
Disappointing haiku, reads like a shitty run on sentence, learn how to construct a haiku. And no your fat janny friends haven't banned me yet, I'm sure you reported me for making your lard roll ass angry though.

[Anonymous No.23507745]

>>23507733
Michelin man looking nigger.

[Anonymous No.23507751]

>>23507745
The crane is coming to collect you, hopefully it's rated for your load.

[Anonymous No.23507782]

>>23506674
>>23506688
Anime is so fucking gay.

[Anonymous No.23507935]

>>23507782
That's Korean anime and a reason why shonen, litrpgs, and Isekai, is shit. We're also on an anime site.

[Anonymous No.23507949]

>>23507935
>That's Korean anime
It's not, tard.

[Anonymous No.23508087]

>>23507384
>t. woman/tranny
>>23507417
It's peak performance.
>>23507782
>nooo dont hit the womanrinos the innocent angelerinooooooos

[Anonymous No.23508089]

How true is the phrase "the axe forgets but the tree remembers"?

[Anonymous No.23508094]

How do you infuse your book with a certain mood? Do you write every scene showing how every character is in that mood? Won't that be repetitive?

[Anonymous No.23508102]

>>23508089
Whoaaa...so deep...I cried

[Anonymous No.23508108]

I want to write an isekai about a buff manly man being reincarnated as a fat piece of shit so he kills himself.

[Anonymous No.23508110]

>>23507751
KEK

[Anonymous No.23508115]

>>23508108
That's unrealistic. A man like that will simply do exercise and eat healthy until he becomes a buff manly man again.

[Anonymous No.23508117]

>>23508102
It's not even mine it's a Zimbabwean proverb

[Anonymous No.23508118]

>>23508089
untrue, inanimate objects lack the cognitive function required to remember.

[Anonymous No.23508123]

>>23508089
Technically true. Unless the tree gets chopped down, then it's not a tree anymore and it can't remember.

[Anonymous No.23508127]

>>23508115
FUCK YOU JEW IT’S AN ISEKAI IT’S ALREADY UNREALISTIC STOP BEING A DUMB NIGGER!

[Anonymous No.23508134]

>>23508094
Not just repetitive, but counterproductive. You become desensitized to anything that you're exposed to for a prolonged period of time. If your story is nothing but that one mood all the way through, the mood will be so ubiquitous that it's effectively invisible. That's sometimes the desired effect, but if you're trying to call the reader's attention to the mood you should consider adding some contrast. Sprinkle instances of things that are the opposite of the mood you're going for, to make your chosen mood stand out more. You can also use adjacent moods to provide context.

picrel, but in color terms

[Anonymous No.23508136]

>>23508108
Wish fulfillment fantasies are pretty cringe. You should probably just see a dietician and then write about your journey to recovery.

[Anonymous No.23508142]

So do you guys listen to music when you write? Or do you prefer silence, no distractions whatsoever? I prefer to listen to music somewhat themed around what I'm writing (country for westerns, etc) to "get in the mood" so to speak.

[Anonymous No.23508145]

>>23508142
Listening to music is proven to reduce your IQ by 20 points.

[Anonymous No.23508155]

>>23508142
I have a playlist for every MC that I use to get into the proper mindset for each of them.
In my current story, there's a good ol' boy marshal, so his playlist is a lot of stuff like Johnny Cash.

There's also a naive young woman with wanderlust that set off traveling without fully understanding what she was doing, so there's a lot of optimistic girly pop music with a sprinkling of stressful songs in her playlist.

There are a pair of siblings in the story that share a playlist that's nothing but duets.

There's an activist that organizes rallies and protests and sabotages corporate development projects. Their playlist is mostly anti-establishment punk rock.

etc, etc, etc.

[Anonymous No.23508168]

>>23508142
i usually struggle writing with music playing, sometimes i'll listen to some instrumental prog or ambience, depends on how creative i'm feelan.
>I prefer to listen to music somewhat themed around what I'm writing
does it work?
>>23508145
best keep away then, lest you go into the negatives.

[Anonymous No.23508184]

>>23508118
Neil Degrasse Tyson-ass response

[Anonymous No.23508204]

>>23508184
who?

[Anonymous No.23508218]

>>23508204
Scientist who is kind of autistic and overly literal

[Anonymous No.23508236]

>>23508218
pic is pretty funny if he meant it as a joke like i did

[Anonymous No.23508239]

>>23508168
It works for me, but I'm also a fucking autistic weirdo so your mileage may vary.

[Anonymous No.23508257]

>>23507751
kek

[Anonymous No.23508284]

>>23508142
Sometimes. Mostly classical music with tone related to my writing. Listen to this banger:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEllLECo4OM

[Anonymous No.23508345]

>>23508236
There are no jokes on 4chan

[Anonymous No.23508349]

>>23508218
Is that a heckin' SCIENCE NIGGER?!??!?!

[Anonymous No.23508364]

>>23508284
An incel song from the 11th century. Incredible.
The art and feelings of man are universal.
https://youtu.be/QEllLECo4OM?t=2840

[Anonymous No.23508464]

Just found out about /qst/
wtf are these niggas doing?

[Anonymous No.23508585]

I've done it again. My new work is simply too good. So it's a guaranteed flop. Readers will be too intimidated by my mastery and depth of artistry to endure the lines. This always happens

[Anonymous No.23508599]

>>23508464
what is qst

[Anonymous No.23508679]

>>23508599
/Qute sissy trannies/

[Anonymous No.23508692]

>>23508599
>>>/qst/

[Anonymous No.23508703]

>>23508679
sounds like you belong there

[Anonymous No.23508742]

I finished my story but I'm too afraid to send it to an editor. I heard you can expect them to cut 30-50% of your work.

[Anonymous No.23508749]

>>23508742
Just send it and tell him to just fuck your shit up.

[Anonymous No.23508762]

>>23506851
just write your dream novel. it's what you want to do anyway, so why piss about doing anything else? you can always rewrite afterwards.

[Anonymous No.23508764]

>>23508742
This might be a shock to you, but you don't have to listen to the editor if they cut too much.

[Anonymous No.23508816]

>>23508764
If I'm paying him a small fortune I don't want to just throw his advice in the trash. Plus if it's a publishing company I'm not sure you can choose to ignore it. Don't they mandate the edits before they agree to print it?

[Anonymous No.23508834]

>>23508742
Editors don't actually edit unless you're paying them personally, otherwise the trend is to pad it to some arbitrary page count, though that too is changing. House editors are overworked and freelance editors have very different goals.

What I would expect is to get back something with all the superfluous words and redundant sentences trimmed. It's more like a tenth to a fifth of your manuscript, unless you're verbose and unfocused. Developmental editing is a different matter and is more destructive and reconstructive.

[Anonymous No.23508861]

>>23508134
What books nail mood well enough?

[Anonymous No.23508900]

>>23508142
There's a lot of noise outside so I either put on instrumental music or just rain AMSR sound to drown everything else out.

Got this on my bookmark toolbar ready to launch in a second
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4qgI9-oME4

[Anonymous No.23508910]

>>23508861
Well enough?
Most of them.
When a book fails at properly conveying a mood it's very noticeable. You'll likely be overcome by it, which can also then lead to you being angry about it without fully realizing why.
Without getting into specific examples, it's pretty easy to spot what I was talking about. If a book is about a kid living a happy childhood, they don't just focus 100% of that. They throw in bad days to highlight the good.

A horror book may include some ethereal beauty, like Guillermo Del Toro's movies and shows tend to do, and Elden Ring does this as well. The lead dev at fromSoft has said that all of his monsters must start from a place of dignity, beauty, prestige, etc. Then he warps and decays them to achieve horror.

Think of how a love story usually has a falling out between the main couple, or a love triangle that introduces envoy, jealousy, and fear to the otherwise positive story before the lovers end up together in the end.

Think of managing tone as analogous to shading in visual arts. Some work is very dark and some is very light, but shadows and highlights tend to be features in every work, and most pull it off pretty well. Because it's a fundamental skill of the art form.

[Anonymous No.23508936]

>>23508142
Only dark ambient usually, anything with lyrics or too clear a melody distracts me.

[Anonymous No.23508949]

>>23508861
Short stories are a singular mood, Young Skins has been good so far. Novels hit different moods, both Murakamis, but especially Haruki are noted for nailing the "vibe", often to the exclusion of other things. It's a hard question to answer, but I think those are very loud with what mood is. Algernon Blackwood and any of the gothic and early horror writers also command it.

[Anonymous No.23509114]

>In May 1963 Fleming wrote a piece for Books and Bookmen magazine in which he described his approach to writing Bond books: "I write for about three hours in the morning ... and I do another hour's work between six and seven in the evening. I never correct anything and I never go back to see what I have written ... By following my formula, you write 2,000 words a day."

[Anonymous No.23509118]

>>23508900
I never even thought about ambient or ASMR stuff. Might be pretty good.

[Anonymous No.23509253]

>>23506416
>no body posted

[Anonymous No.23509291]

>>23506674
>I get to beat up rich, beautiful, powerful people after becoming the greatest most powerful super duper man in the entire world without any effort whatsoever
I get the appeal but it sounds so god damn masturbatory and pathetic. Can't read it, couldn't write it. Shit sells like hot cakes.
Are there any stories that do this right?

[Anonymous No.23509307]

>>23509291
>Are there any stories that do this right?
Define "doing it right".

[Anonymous No.23509315]

>>23509114
Does that mean he doesn't edit his work afterwards at all? Was he plotter? That's kind of insane otherwise.

[Anonymous No.23509342]

>>23509315
That's what I wondered. Did he even get an editor? I read one of his books. It wasn't great, but it was better than first draft quality.

[Anonymous No.23509351]

>>23509307
I thought about it, but I can't come up with anything solid beyond it bores me to see someone steamroll everything and everyone. It's just not for me then.

[Anonymous No.23509384]

>>23509291
One Punch Man kind of, if we are talking about over powered heroes who easily beat up all their enemies.

[Anonymous No.23509410]

Hi /wg/, I've been writing this when I can for about two years now, and I've finally gotten to the part that reveals information about the world.

Do you guys think this reveals too much? Is it something you may find interesting? Or is it too cliche.
I appreciate any feedback.

[Anonymous No.23509413]

[Anonymous No.23509422]

How do you tolerate other writers? I’m at a writing meetup right now and they’ve very liberal and queer and I can’t stand these faggots. We’re doing introductions right now.

[Anonymous No.23509425]

>>23509422
You only go to those to impress the women, get their socials, and fuck them.

[Anonymous No.23509431]

>>23509422
That's why I never go to them. Meetups for every hobby are full of their types now.

[Anonymous No.23509479]

Ugh. Of course I’m stuck with the tranny sitting next to me. Dude, I’m sure your name isn’t really Aurora and you really shouldn’t be wearing booty shorts, you god damn freak. I hate that I feel compelled to be civil. Damned living in a society bullshit.

[Anonymous No.23509499]

>>23509479
Just leave, man. If you paid, demand your money back at the door. These """people""" aren't going to provide you any good advice for your writing anyway.

[Anonymous No.23509508]

>>23509410
I think its very cliche. It's a lot of words, words, words. Does knowing this information really change things for your mc - like does it actually impact the story? After reading the excerpts you posted the next logical step is for the young king to kill the guy. Assuming he does, or doesn't, does any of that backstory information impact the plot going forward in any way whatsoever?

[Anonymous No.23509515]

>>23509499
I don’t like being such a hermit. But every time I try to get out there, I’m reminded of why I am. It’s a terrible life.

[Anonymous No.23509520]

>>23508118
Trees are sentient. You are blind, and think no one else can see.

[Anonymous No.23509533]

>>23509410
>>23509413
This reads like something a bad DM with a complete lack of self-awareness and a donut steel NPC might inflict on his suffering players. Pure unmotivated needlessly edgy exposition. I sincerely hope you are still in high school to be writing shit like this.

[Anonymous No.23509541]

>>23502610
Scared of manifesting of Mia “You aren’t gonna let him curse me, are you” to my love rival, thinking I would curse her

[Anonymous No.23509557]

>>23509515
I know this pain. What's even worse is that because publishers are now selecting for these people they actually have a better chance than you do even if your work is of comparable quality.

[Anonymous No.23509584]

>>23509515
Same.

[Anonymous No.23509590]

>>23509351
That simple question made you realize the retard you are so you had to drop it. Kek.

[Anonymous No.23509609]

In one of the images included in my book I've used text from another one of my novels to add background texture. Should I include these in the total word count?

[Anonymous No.23509623]

>>23509609
I don't know for sure, but if it's part of a picture I wouldn't think it should count.

[Anonymous No.23509796]

>>23509508
Yes, he does kill his father. The information imparted here was made to clarify a lot about the world, because all we have to go on up until this point is just the experiences of the protagonist--who has had his entire life ruined by the "Young King". This chapter and the one before are from the antagonist's perceptive, so we can see just who and what he really is.

>>23509533
So what would you do differently? What type of villains do you enjoy reading?

[Anonymous No.23509914]

>>23507685
What's the point of trying to fix his scene when he can't write in English?

[Anonymous No.23509917]

>>23509796
my advice would be to minimize the specifics during the discussion about the old world and any scientific terms. like really cut a lot there. otherwise keep stuff the dialogue about him killing his brothers - because that actually affects the mc and informs the reader about his character

[Anonymous No.23509966]

>>23509917
Thanks, it's the first iteration of the most recent chapter, and I haven't had the chance to go over it with a fine comb yet. People's input means a lot.

Do most not like simple evil villains anymore? I feel like most people nowadays want one that's relatable and complicated, most media nowadays isn't the traditional good vs evil dichotomy.

[Anonymous No.23510000]

>>23509966
>Do most not like simple evil villains anymore?
less can oftentimes be more

[Anonymous No.23510002]

>>23509914
Unlike you, they're probably capable of learning and growing. They can probably adapt to new circumstances. As demonstrated by the fact that they didn't meltdown, shit themselves, and start throwing a tantrum.

[Anonymous No.23510009]

>>23508834
i figure editors just skim through the text and find a few things to change here and there.

[Anonymous No.23510143]

>>23510009
That would be a proofreader.

[Anonymous No.23510185]

>>23510143
So what does an editor do then? A copy editor, I imagine. Not the whole "restructure your story" type editor.

[Anonymous No.23510321]

Working on a VN with a friend, I want to write the descriptions in a stream of consciousness style, so I'm looking for feedback from people who like that sort of thing. Dialogue is just placeholder right now as I work on the prose styling.

[Anonymous No.23510439]

>>23510321
It's very dumb and annoying, yes.

[Anonymous No.23510445]

>>23510321
When you say stream of consciousness do you mean like a dream or just patterns of thought about the situation the character's thinking about?

In terms of mechanics and genuine critique, I would say be conscious of your word choice and repetition. Instead of using simple descriptions, put the reader in the shoes of the narrator by talking about how he feels and use descriptive language.
>The night turned the beach a deep shade of grey
vs
>The moon cast an eerie silver light over the beach

That's my two cents, at least. Keep working and don't quit.

[Anonymous No.23510476]

>The moon smiled over the beach the way a 12 year old smiles over his first Playboy.

[Anonymous No.23510528]

>>23510476
>this, however, was a retirement home beach
>an all-male retirement home beach
>an all-male retirement home beach with viagra vendors next to the snowcone vendors
>jesus wept

[Anonymous No.23510541]

>banned again for another 3 days
I need to stop shitposting
anyway 5.5k words done

[Anonymous No.23510546]

>>23510541
Nice.

[Anonymous No.23510547]

>>23508949
I am reading the wendigo and i can't see how a brit wrote the book in 2001 in this 19th century american style, he also nails 3rd person omniscient really well.

[Anonymous No.23510571]

>>23509410
It's too obvious. The dialogue is bland, predictable and uninspiring. You need to sprinkle some flair, metaphors, similes. You don't just start directly asking people for what you want and expect they will also directly answer you, especially not in a troubled relationship. That's just not how people talk. Lots of 'the young king' repetitions. The leper king is talking and laughing as if he has no health problems. You could the 'leave us' to a painful handwave, that would be more realistic. You could reduce the frequency of his speech and confine it to the most important responses. You could describe him struggling and have his son either watch him suffer or help him. This is how real emotion is conveyed, you need to observe it more, it seems.

[Anonymous No.23510572]

Have there been any books in the last 5 years that influenced your writing?

[Anonymous No.23510616]

tonight I realized that the "scale" of the story I had all planned out is not big enough for my characters to develop the kind of relationships I want them to develop. the way I had my story playing out in my head, the events would have transpired in too small a time frame, in my opinion, to develop truly close relationships, even under extreme circumstances.

at the very least I think there are some plot elements I can introduce to draw out the timescale and give the characters something more to do together instead of just hastily moving straight from one plot beat to the next. but man, Im gonna have to think long and hard about how thats going to play out because it kind of solves one major problem while introducing more problems that need to be worked out

[Anonymous No.23510620]

One of my characters beats his girlfriend during sex because she gets a kick out of it. I'm struggling to get that across, every time I write it it just seems like he's abusing her.

[Anonymous No.23510628]

>>23510620
Girl readers will get it, because they like that kind of weird stuff too.

[Anonymous No.23510712]

>>23510620
I would probably have a conversation where they talk about it, making clear it's her thing.
>The man takes a long drink from his glass. As he puts it back down, he sees a familiar look in his love's eye.
>"You want it tonight?"
>"Yep, I think I have recovered pretty well from last time."
>"Okay, but I am going to go a bit easier on you today. I was worried I broke your jaw last time."
>"Maybe I want you to break my jaw."
>"I don't mind doing it for you, but if people ask too many questions I might get in trouble."
>"It's consensual."
>"Try explaining that to the police with a broken jaw."

[Anonymous No.23510730]

>>23510712
Isn't that making it too blatant? Just have her moan in unbridled ecstasy as he beats her ass into oblivion. The mystery makes it hotter.

[Anonymous No.23510733]

>>23509422
>How do you tolerate other writers?
I don't.
Anyone who calls himself a "writer" or an "author" is an insufferable faggot.

I just write stuff. I'm not a writer.

[Anonymous No.23510735]

>>23510620
>hits her
>starts bleeding
>he hesitates
>"harder"
There, done, I wrote it for you.
Enjoy your deranged femoid crowd and NYC best seller spot.

[Anonymous No.23510736]

Why are female writing gurus so cute bros...
https://youtube.com/shorts/PUZY9Fec77M
https://youtu.be/EGsYlPa54DY
https://youtu.be/G6xcpMIvJ04

[Anonymous No.23510747]

>>23510733
how do you define a 'writer' then? if you write you're a writer. Different from 'professional' or 'published' writer, but still a writer.

[Anonymous No.23510760]

>>23510747
Call me a writer one more time and my self-insert is going to kill you in your sleep.

[Anonymous No.23510763]

>>23510760
answer my question mr. writer

[Anonymous No.23510777]

>>23510763
You are a writer if you call yourself a writer.
And if you are a writer, you are a retarded nigger monkey.

The character representing you will be made into a sóy wojak, and the character representing me will kill him in a way that would be embarrassing if it were you. It's over for you.

[Anonymous No.23510789]

>>23510777
>You are a writer if you call yourself a writer.
So somebody who writes is not a writer unless they tell somebody they are a writer?

[Anonymous No.23510795]

>>23510735
I don't think women are going to like it.
>>23510712
I like this, it's just not my style. It's almost Hemmingway esq. Kudos

[Anonymous No.23510801]

>>23510795
>I don't think women are going to like it.
Anon, what do you think 50 shits of gay is?

[Anonymous No.23510811]

>>23510801
This isn't that book. That was playful. This is vile

[Anonymous No.23510816]

>>23510811
>This is vile
Hey, someone else will take that bestseller spot if you don't want it.

[Anonymous No.23510818]

>>23510795
>I don't think women are going to like it.
>This is vile.
Why do you say that?

[Anonymous No.23511068]

>>23510736
Because they look a bit funky (not manly, but in the ballpark), and so you're able to fantasize that they won't reject you out of hand & maybe you have a chance with them.

[Anonymous No.23511198]

>>23510795
>I don't think women are going to like it.
Have you watched the anime Redo of Healer? Who do you think are the biggest fans of the anime and the light novel?
Hint: not incels, but the jew of the sexes.

[Anonymous No.23511231]

can a footstep be tenuous? i know it's a bit purple but i have my reasons

[Anonymous No.23511258]

>>23511198
>Redo of Healer
>women biggest fan
Really? I know women are into rapey shit but that is a straight up male fantasy.

[Anonymous No.23511281]

>>23510816
It's not going to make bestseller.
>>23510818
It's just not the kind of romantic look at abuse that women get off to. It's more like, she's damaged and likes it because she's an outcast and some attention is better than none. He does it because he feels impotent and can't make love to the woman he really loves.
>>23511198
I don't know what that is. I don't watch anime

[Anonymous No.23511291]

>>23511231
Yeah, the wrong word would be tentative.

[Anonymous No.23511354]

>>23511258
Nah. Women erotic fiction is the same shit. The only difference is that this is written from the rapeChad's perspective rather than the rapemeat's. Women like it all the same.
>>23511281
Try watching the first couple episodes:
https://yugenanime.tv/watch/7148/kaifuku-jutsushi-no-yarinaoshi/1/

[Anonymous No.23511363]

>>23511354
>The only difference is that this is written from the rapeChad's perspective rather than the rapemeat's. Women like it all the same.
wild, bitches be crazy

[Anonymous No.23511465]

So if I make all of my charcter’s queer, except for the villain who must remain a straight white male, I’ll make dozens of dollars?

[Anonymous No.23511470]

>>23510445
Thanks, I'm trying to simulate childhood memories/thoughts, which is why the descriptions are rather simple.

[Anonymous No.23511486]

>>23511354
Uncensored:
https://hanime.tv/videos/hentai/kaifuku-jutsushi-no-yarinaoshi-1

[Anonymous No.23511490]

I decided to start writing poetry, here's a haiku I wrote yesterday.

One more year passes
This will surely be my year!
One more year passes

[Anonymous No.23511493]

>>23510185
Sentence mechanics and flow. Here's a rudimentary example. Not much I could do with it, but it's an idea of hard editing.

>The planet was spinning, well that's obvious but to Kanashi it could be taken literally. His legs felt like they were made of jelly and he clung onto the wall next to him for dear life. He’d only drinken another two glasses of the Green Dragon stuff so he shouldn’t have been this messed up right?
>It was less than 1/6th of the bottle after all. The bartender even complimented Kanashis alcohol tolerance so that meant he should be fine right? Well Kanashi didn’t speak Edogo so maybe he only made that last part up in his head.
>Either way he didn’t really care, the only thing that mattered at the moment was finding a place to relax and take a breath. Maybe even somewhere to pee.
>Ugh, how can people even consider driving like this? He hiccuped, he now could relate to those he tried not to trample over as he walked down the street. They too must have felt like he did.
>“Shit…” He sighed as he clung to a street light, the urge to vomit grew in his throat and he tried to flex his stomach to hold it in but his drunken body refused to work like he wanted it to.

The planet was spinning, his legs felt like they were made of jelly and he clung (held fast) onto the wall next to him for dear life. Kanashi never realized it could be taken literally, the planet spinning. He had only drank down another two glasses of the Green Dragon stuff, no cause to be so messed up. It was less than a sixth of the bottle. The bartender even complimented Kanashi's alcohol tolerance. Kanashi didn’t speak Edogo so maybe he drank that last part.
The only thing that mattered was a place to relax and breathe. Somewhere to pee, maybe.
Ugh, how can people even consider driving like this? He hiccuped. He now related to those wobbling tramps he nearly trampled over on the street. Kinship, even.
“Shit…” He sighed as he clung to a street light, vomit grew in his throat and he tried to flex his stomach to hold it in but his drunken body refused to work.

[Anonymous No.23511789]

>>23510002
>posting honest crit is "throwing a tantrum"
You're not gonna do much learning or growing in that hugbox of yours

[Anonymous No.23511982]

>>23511465
You're trying to make a joke, but doing what you described will honestly give you a better chance at success than you'd be willing to admit.

[Anonymous No.23512009]

Stupid question: would I capitalize "northward" in this sentence?
>One path followed the Kutch River northward.

[Anonymous No.23512014]

>>23512009
no

[Anonymous No.23512021]

>>23512014
Thanks. Cardinal directions, and their variations, always throw me for a loop.

[Anonymous No.23512223]

>>23511291
thank u

[Anonymous No.23512248]

How the fuck do these nerds on scribblehub/royal road pump out 16 chapters a week? Is it all trash? AI generated?

[Anonymous No.23512270]

>>23512248
Many times, the "chapters" are just under 500-word scenes, mostly mindless dialogue

[Anonymous No.23512276]

>>23511258
Rape is the #1 female erotic fantasy. As long as it's not real rape with by a gang of roided monkeys, but "safe" rape in bed, getting abused by their lover of the day. Look up female fetish lists, the shit on there will amaze you.

[Anonymous No.23512288]

>>23512270
And people like that? Wouldn't they get tried of poor quality effective click bait and just read something else?

[Anonymous No.23512292]

>>23512288
Not only do they like it, they pay real money to have more of it, faster

[Anonymous No.23512306]

>>23512288
Modern audiences have zero standards.

[Anonymous No.23512318]

>>23512248
What popular stories are doing 16 chapters a week?
Usually its 5-7 a week of ~2k words each or less. I don't really know of any that post more than once a day.
If you're talking about new stories, they just had a backlog to post a lot at first.

[Anonymous No.23512486]

>>23512318
I don't even understand how someone can come up with 2k words every day. I mean good ones that keep the story going, not just inane ramblings. It's hard for me to conceive of new scenes that have actual purpose.

[Anonymous No.23512493]

>>23512486
If you're a planner it's possible, >>23512248
but 16 chapters in one week on royal road makes me think AI.

[Anonymous No.23512502]

>>23512486
Even Steven King can do 2k a day, so it's not just litrpg slop writers
Though if you mean truly good writing, where even Steven King falls flat, then obviously you don't put out 2k per day lmao. that kind of writing takes a long time to refine until it's perfect

[Anonymous No.23512564]

>>23512502
Specifically final versions of pages? Sure.
But the best authors probably often put up 2k worth of revisions and edits as they refine their work.

[Anonymous No.23512809]

>>23512796
>>23512796
>>23512796

[Anonymous No.23513172]

>>23510620
Just write it like he's abusing her and end it off with her saying how hot it was, how she wants him to go even further, whatever.