/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.23444924]

"Writer's utopia" edition

Previous: >>23439940

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZfXEJ0awyI

[Anonymous No.23444930]

[Anonymous No.23444940]

>>23444924
>If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
>I'm the one who added this
>grounds keeping prose
>someone else added this... in response to how intensely i "grounds keep prose"
The duality of man

[Anonymous No.23444945]

>>23444930
I like this a lot. I would like it even if I didn't know Pyncone (pbuh) wrote it.

[Anonymous No.23444980]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/87575/mandala/chapter/1659411/01-enter-dawn

Anyone want to give my concept a read?
I'm fully aware it sucks.

[Anonymous No.23445052]

>>23444980
Fucking weeb.

[Anonymous No.23445104]

I'll only have about half of as many words as I'd hoped to prepare by my deadline for starting my first web serial. Nobody but me has any expectations for its quality. It's a fantasy story but I never figured out the system so I've made it up as I've gone along and tried to keep it coherent. Should I go ahead and prepare it anyway and hope I can flesh out the rest of my outline in time?

[Anonymous No.23445121]

>>23445052
I'll peddle my weeb shit where I like

[Anonymous No.23445137]

>>23444924
that house wouldn't have electricity

[Anonymous No.23445167]

>>23444940
Retard, grounds-keeping prose = Gardner prose. it has nothing to do with you, narcissist. It's telling people not to submit steaming piles of shit like Frank Gardner manuscripts
Although I think it's not clever at all and should be removed from the OP.

[Anonymous No.23445176]

>>23444980
>Probably going to be boring. Going to take my time with this one.
Great way to ensure literally no one reads it, lmao. Don't sound like a pussy in your summary. Write a proper blurb and, if you must, say "slow-burn and introspective" if you want to warn action addicts away.

[Anonymous No.23445189]

>>23445104
If you think you can, sure. If you know it's going to be shit without fixing it ahead of time, then don't. Kinda depends on your goals. You just writing to write? Or trying to make something good, that people will read?

[Anonymous No.23445198]

>>23445176
I think I'll do that, that actually sounds pretty good. I Just put that because I didn't want too many people to start reading it before maybe 15~ chapters. I still barely have anything written so far and I want maybe 25,000 words to start.

[Anonymous No.23445227]

>>23445189
>You just writing to write? Or trying to make something good, that people will read?
Column A and B. One of my most productive periods was when I was writing and knew someone would be reading it.

[Anonymous No.23445231]

>>23445227
then you should probably make sure you have something solid rather than posting and hoping you can fix it live

[Anonymous No.23445237]

>>23445231
It's been years, I've been trying that for a while.

[Anonymous No.23445255]

>>23445237
Okay. What do you want me to tell you? Writing is hard? yeah, agreed.
But if you know it's shit the audience will probably agree with you.
You could try winging it, I guess. Honestly if you've been spinning your wheels for years, maybe just posting and hoping for the best is the right play. That's your call.
Might be that you picked too complex + difficult a story concept

[Anonymous No.23445290]

Doctor Marcus Gunn sat in the back of the driverless limo as it steered onto Lake Shore Drive. Cimarron—his six-month-old daughter—was cradled in his arms and drinking from the bottle he held. On the seat across from him, an extremely attractive woman ignored him. She stared at her left forearm, the smart bracelet on the back of her wrist blinking red as she spoke to it in a heavy British accent.

“Simp Master 69, this is Tia, and I want to thank you for your continued gold membership. I also want to wish you a very happy twenty-ninth birthday. You are my favorite Princess Boy in the whole world, and I love you to pieces. Be safe and be happy, Simp! Talk to you soon.”

She blew the camera kiss, smiled, and waved, then pressed a button on the holographic display running up her forearm to end the transmission.

Gunn frowned, wondering what the hell a “Princess Boy” was. But he knew better than to ask. Truth was, she had an army of men who sent money to her website, and more than a few had weird paraphilias. Mostly though, they were poor lonely guys willing to pay for a surface connection to a beautiful woman. He was married to the soulless bitch, though, and he still felt lonely.

She cycled through various screens on her forearm, frowning. “Idiot always sends me photos of himself wearing tiaras and little girl’s clothes. Bloody pervert.”

I don’t hear you bitching about the ten thousand dollars a month he sends you, is what he wanted to say. But like many things, it went unsaid.

They rolled to a stop at an intersection, and he glanced outside. A government-run pharmacy was open across the way. Its largest window had an animated poster of people getting vaccinated. The racially mixed group was all smiles as the syringe was plunged into their arms by an Asian woman in a lab coat.

Wholesome imagery is what they were going for, he suspected, but a dirty hobo walking by didn’t care. He came out of an alley right in front of it, and, without a second glance, pulled down his pants, squatted, and emptied his bowels onto the sidewalk in front of it. The weary customers walking out of the pharmacy barely seemed to notice.

[Anonymous No.23445299]

>>23445290
Part 2:

Gunn sighed. Hard to imagine they called this place the Gold Coast once. Now, it was just an overcrowded, poverty-stricken shithole. Literally.

“I Love Phat Asses 3299, this is Tia, and I’m making this video to thank you for your gold membership. I’m also sending you the socks I wore during the live stream last week. Should go out in the post early next week. Much love, Phat!” She ended the recording, then frowned, repeatedly tapping the transmit button. “Bloody Wi-Fi in here is shit.”

Gunn shifted the infant in his lap. “Do your creep mail later. I don’t want to hear that garbage.”

She gave him a pouty look. “Come on, Love. You haven’t seen me in weeks and you’re already complaining about my work.”

As far as he was concerned, three weeks went by way too fast. Hopefully, her next vacation would last twice as long. Or forever, if one of her incel followers murdered her. "Just stop cursing around the baby.”

Tia continued pressing her smart bracelet as though she didn’t hear. The sound of a dial tone blared through the speakers as a phone number was punched. She produced a pair of wireless earbuds and put them in, silencing the noise.

“Hey, girl,” she said. “Yeah, I’m on my way to the Vactrain station. Marcus is going out of town. My husband, remember? His name is Marcus. Oh fuck no, I’m not bloody going with him. Yeah, I have to babysit the infant, fuck my life. Only for a day. Then she’ll be my mother-in-law’s problem. We’re flying to D.C. this morning. I’ll be in Vancouver on Thursday, ready to get black-out fucking drunk with Aimy...”

“Stop cursing, please.”

She shot him a vicious scowl, but her voice remained sugary. “That sounds wonderful. Listen, I have to go… I’ll call you later tonight. Yes. Talk to you soon.” She clicked off the call. “If you have a problem with the words I use, you should’ve found another ride.”

“If I didn’t need you to watch Cimarron, I would have.”

“Should’ve gotten a babysitter then.”

Gunn just stared at her. Not for the first time, he wondered how he let his mother force him to marry such a low-quality human being. “Didn’t think it was too much to you to watch your own child.”

[Anonymous No.23445323]

>>23445255
>Might be that you picked too complex + difficult a story concept
Other way around, I scope creeped my way into the stratosphere and publishing it is how I'll slay that dragon.

[Anonymous No.23445327]

>>23444980
>name-dropping hit titles to sell your story instead actually describing it at all
>linking straight to first chapter instead of fiction page to fish for views
Disgusting.

[Anonymous No.23445361]

>>23444930
The great literary mind of the 21st century, ladies and gentleman

[Anonymous No.23445375]

Do you guys think a slice of life buildup to a book could be effectively engaging to an audience nowadays? Almost every complaint I hear of "old" stories is that they "take too long to get to the action or plot". Is it a fruitless endeavor nowadays to try and get people to engage with a low-stakes begin and gradually build it up? Regardless of your answers I will still write these scenes anyways just for the exercise and because I enjoy doing so but I just wanna see what you guys think

[Anonymous No.23445378]

>>23445375
*low stakes beginning

[Anonymous No.23445381]

>>23445327
That wasn't intentional, I'm still inexperienced with the site.
I don't care about hits or reviews.

[Anonymous No.23445405]

>>23445137
Solar? Wind? Tidal? Diesel backup generator? I swear, some people have no imagination...and this is supposed to be a writer's thread. Smh

[Anonymous No.23445413]

>>23445405
>tidal on a small lake

[Anonymous No.23445437]

Nuke Decker was going to kill the bitch.

He sat in the parking lot of her workplace, hunched over in his wheelchair, checking the gun concealed in his jacket. Twenty rounds, plus one in the chamber. More than enough to ventilate the cunt and any other nearby roastie trash.

The sun rose over the Central Mall, reflecting light off the shiny surfaces of the artificial lake and fountain abutting the freshly-paved, rapidly-filling parking lot.

Nuke pressed the joystick, propelling his wheelchair forward with a low hum. Around him, people moved in a chaotic dance of consumerism.

Mostly obese bodies hurried toward the entrance, in pursuit of the next worthless trinket. Amidst this sea of scum, Nuke was a solitary island, virtually invisible. The world flowed around him, people glancing briefly in his direction before their gaze slid away, dismissing him as inconsequential. He was used to it though. The constant reminders of his insignificance in the grand tapestry of life.

He smiled. After today, Nuke would be insignificant no longer.

[Anonymous No.23445439]

>>23445405
You sound like an insufferable cunt.

[Anonymous No.23445464]

>>23445413
You have no idea if that's a small lake; for all you know, that's a bend in a river. And I see how you simply ignored the other possibilities for electricity (e.g. solar, wind, generator), as well as the possibility of running on gas, e.g. propane.
>>23445439
Amazing that you've admitted to the sort of person you are, without having the faintest idea you've done so.

[Anonymous No.23445465]

>>23444980
>Japanese names in a non-japanese work
This is an instant cue to nope out of it for me, sorry

[Anonymous No.23445466]

>>23444980
you need to stick with a perspective, you are bouncing between first and 3rd.

unnatural dialogue, overly expository.

there are lots of nitpicks that could be made, but i think the problem is that you don't really understand 'story structure'.

every scene should serve a purpose, ideally several.

when you have a goal for each scene, you will inherently come to avoid some of the mistakes you're making.

[Anonymous No.23445503]

>>23445466
I just came up with this concept like yesterday or the day before and started writing.
The perspective thing I have trouble with. I can go back and fix that with some editing. I did that with a story I did before this one and it turned out alright? It wasn't as terrible.
This is supposed to be the intro, it's supposed to lead into a major event, and then the entire story, the entire theme is supposed to change drastically.
It's going from a modern futuristic Japanese SOL(which I'm terrible at) to a re:isekai with major dark western fantasy themes kind of like how Muv Luv did it except fantasy instead of scifi.
It's really hard keeping this entire vision in mind while conceptualizing the whole thing and putting words on paper.

[Anonymous No.23445506]

Is "pleads" as a noun a word, like an alternative version of "pleas", like "what pleads would I have to make to enter" instead of "what pleas would I have to make to enter"

[Anonymous No.23445512]

I'm 7 chapters in and starting to think that 1st person would allow for more character than 3rd person omnipotence. But at the same time I'm very tempted to write some wish fulfillment isekia smut garbage with a bastard main character who's weak yet full of guile.

[Anonymous No.23445535]

>>23445464
That is small lake, the clues are all there. Those docks and the shoreline tell us that the water level does not vary much and we have a pretty good view of the currents which we can see are primarily wind driven. Shoreline, the docks and that house/island also tell us waves never get to any real size.

I did not say anything about solar/wind/diesel because they are all viable but does not look like there is any solar or wind. Gas/diesel is unlikely since there also looks to be no flue or chimney. I would guess this is a summer cottage and they do with out electricity, cook on a grill or camp stove.

[Anonymous No.23445536]

>>23445506
A plea can be a noun.
To plead is a verb

[Anonymous No.23445541]

>>23445503
>I just came up with this concept like yesterday
And you just had to immediately ejaculate it for all the world to see instead of thinking about it a little more?

[Anonymous No.23445543]

>>23445536
shame, I kind of like it as a pseudo-archaism

[Anonymous No.23445551]

>>23445503
that's cool, keep at it. again the 'purpose' i talk about, is in context of story structure. (initially hooking the reader), developing a character, moving the plot, etc.
you aren't focused on these things, and should take the time to learn about this sort of thing. it's standard stuff

[Anonymous No.23445561]

>Fireplace in the northwest
>chimney right under tree
идиoт. пoжapooпacнocть

[Anonymous No.23445571]

>>23445551
Is it normal to want a draft before you start organizing your text into something like that?
>>23445541
What is writing if not ejaculating your text for the whole world to see? I just wanted an opinion on the intro.

[Anonymous No.23445585]

>>23445561
Guess there is a chimney, missed it hiding there. The tree is not really an issue, won't affect anything. Bigger issue is location on the house, terrible place for a chimney on an a-frame, means only the first floor can have a fireplace and the airflow in an a-frame means it does a shit job of providing heat.

[Anonymous No.23445629]

>>23445571
>What is writing if not ejaculating your text for the whole world to see?
I like to edge a lot, my nigger.

[Anonymous No.23445635]

>>23445535
fucking autist. here's the details on the cabin, which you could have found with a fucking Google image search https://www.oliverlodge.com/accommodations
they probably get electricity from an underwater cable stretching A COUPLE OF YARDS

[Anonymous No.23445747]

>>23445635
I don't ask google for things I can reason, it was mostly an exercise in observation and deduction for me. I am not the anon who said it had no electricity, I am the one who pointed out tidal power not working for it because small lake, which it seems I was right about.

[Anonymous No.23445760]

>>23444924
>Feel unsure about writing in first person present tense
>start reading Roadside Picnic
>has the same in-the-moment intimacy I want in my own writing
I maybe wasting my time on that Touhou doujin (that started as a exercise) but at lest I feel vindicated on one of my bad ideas.
>>23445503
>It's going from a modern futuristic Japanese SOL
The plot in SOL anime/manga is charters relationships and feelings. Go through your favorite SOL-whatever with this in mind and see what I mean. Also, read more non-weeb books to get a feel for good prose.
I'm going to post a screenshot of my weeb trash because I think you where trying to achieve something similar. Notice how everything that happens conveys something about Reimu's life without saying it directly.

[Anonymous No.23445791]

>>23445760
What are you using to write this? Is that notepad++?

[Anonymous No.23445825]

Idk if this is the right thread but how do I write uni papers? I just feel braindead and paralyzed looking at articles on the screen and lose oversight of everything pretty quickly and cant progress beyond a few words. Maybe university is not for me but I still have to finish the year.

[Anonymous No.23445826]

>>23445543
Try entreaty then

[Anonymous No.23446006]

>>23445791
Emacs in org mode but I want to move the actual writing to LaTeX and keep org mode for outlines.

[Anonymous No.23446011]

Guys, I posted that novella about "Longreach" in the last thread. Is it cool if I post it again to solicit more feedback or is that considered shilling? I really enjoyed reading the feedback that I got and it was valuable.

[Anonymous No.23446038]

>>23446011
Some will probably sperg about it but with the quality of these threads being what it is, I don't see a problem. Encouraging actual constructive discussion of creative writing is surely better than whatever other nonsense would be talked about.

[Anonymous No.23446071]

Took me a while but I finished the formatting and replacement of some icons. All I need to do is make a backcover. I am wondering about self publishing options, since I did get banned from Amazon's one and I am wondering which one has the most reach outside of it.

[Anonymous No.23446085]

>>23444924
What a strange house

[Anonymous No.23446088]

>>23444924
>decide to write a romance vn for fun because it seems easy and I'm bored
>come up with a nice twist on the formula, a fun gimmick, a unique protagonist and an interesting and different(when compared to other vns) theme to explore within the story
>can clearly visualize the entirety of the plot, it's progression and how it will resonate with the reader as their understanding of the story channges
>what started as a dumb little side project suddenly seems completely plausible and something that others could enjoy and might even make me some money
>only thing left is to come up with personalities for the 4 romance options
>...
>days pass
>...
>still can't come up with anything...
>...
fucking hell man, I manage to even connect their main flaws to the story and protagonist development but when it comes to thinking of a personality I'm completely stuck, i fucking hate being an autistic social retard

[Anonymous No.23446097]

>>23446088
Just do generic stuff
>Nerd
>Stacy
>Goth grill
>Sporty tomboy
And work up from there to make it fit. All you really need to do is see what people like and adapt it.

[Anonymous No.23446099]

>>23446088
Just orchestration + the HEXACO model of personality. It'll get you started at least.

[Anonymous No.23446118]

>>23446071
>I did get banned from Amazon's one
Wtf did you do?

[Anonymous No.23446133]

>>23446118
I automated color books and notebooks being formated and uploaded to the service making them as cheap as possible and being too aggressive with it.

[Anonymous No.23446154]

>>23446097
yeah I already started with that as a basis but I feel like I don't know how to move beyond it.
>>23446099
>hexaco
thank you, I've never heard of this and I think it might help

[Anonymous No.23446155]

>>23446133
Amazon a shit. I've heard stories were pirates upload someone's work and profit and when the real author finds out Amazon won't listen to them or do anything, and keep the pirated version up instead.

[Anonymous No.23446163]

>>23444924
Which is the better line you think?
>Stick to swordplay, you're a lot better at that than false courtesies
>You're a lot better with the sword than you are with false courtesies
>Well I see a master of the sword isn't always a master of false courtesies

[Anonymous No.23446166]

>>23446163
first one

[Anonymous No.23446168]

>>23446163
The first.

If you instead on the last one drop the well at the start.

[Anonymous No.23446171]

>>23446155
That sounds awful.

[Anonymous No.23446269]

>>23446155
I've had someone rip my serial before and when I issued a dmca they took it down in a few hours. You have to actually submit a DMCA though, an email won't cut it

[Anonymous No.23446283]

I'm reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas now so I can try to emulate Hunter S Thompson's style. Here are a few key take aways in things he does that I don't:
>give horrible life advice to the reader as if it's genuinely good advice
>use more imperatives
>if the main character believes what they're doing is highly important when it really isn't, it's pretty funny
>it's also funny when a character knows they shouldn't do something, maybe they even fear it, but then the very next sentence they do it anyway
>skip the boring shit

[Anonymous No.23446318]

>>23446269
Damn, I wish I was good enough for someone to rip my shit off.

[Anonymous No.23446320]

>>23446269
When that happens does Amazon take all the money they made off it and give it to you?

[Anonymous No.23446365]

>>23446320
I doubt it. They probably unironically just take the money and don't give it to anyone.

[Anonymous No.23446593]

>be me, 24yo frenchtard
>living in a small apartment
>no friends, no gf
>go to the nearest boulangerie
>get hit by truck-kun
>find myself in the body of a 17yo chinese boy in imperial china
>wtf.png
>luckily can understand the local language and even write it
>isekaidad is dead, isekaimom is a shoemaker country bumpkin
>can't figure out how the fuck do I return to modern France, or if there is even such a thing as France in this world, as people don't travel in the West at all
>after helping out mom with shoes, get to spend some time with old me friends
>"hey anon, you seem different"
>"really nigga? maybe that's because I am from another world and I don't have your age"
>"haha weirdo so funny"
>days pass, mostly uneventfully. mom noticed the change and thinks i'm in love.
>village life is fun. people actually care for the community here and gather to party a few times a week
>get a bit uneasy at how quickly I adapted to this whole situation
>also wonder : what the fuck happened to the boy and why did I transmigrate?
>dance with a girl at family party
>"hey anon, are you married yet?"
>"I'm 17"
>"yeah"
>have sudden realization this transmigration shit should be illegal
>run off the party, end up in some guy's courtyard
>"hey, aren't you [deaddadname]'s son ? jee, you're all grown up now"
>don't know the guy
>"want some tea?"
>"well I don't know. oh crap, alright"
>sip
>some kind of strange shit is in the tea
>"is this real tea?"
>"it's medicinal"
>learn that the guy is the local doctor
>guy is chill, feel like I can talk to him
>tell him I'm worried about my future here
>"you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, don't worry about it"
>he tells me about the smartest guy in the village
>smartest guy in the village is some kind of bureaucrat that acts as the town mayor
>apparently the guy came from a poor background, flunked the imperial examination twice but succeeded on the third time and moved here
>"wow, that's nice"
>"well, the 'after' part is nice, apparently he got beat up by an immortal on the way to get here"
>wtf.jpg
>first time I hear about immortals
>some people actually believe in the existence of immortals, gods roaming among men and whatnot
>"are they real?"
>"I don't know, never seen one myself but why wouldn't they?"
>"are sects real?"
>"old geezers believe they are,however this is above us all, anon, don't think about it lmao"
>tfw transmigrating into a shoemaker when I could have transmigrated into a cultivator in some aryan sect

[Anonymous No.23446839]

>>23446593
isn’t the end usually the point in chink wn where the ancient alien-inhuman code deep within the chink activates and they rise and grind with zero moral principles to reach immortality?

[Anonymous No.23446900]

>>23446839
exactly yes. but they usually end up as immortal and rich chinks, with good karma even though they killed tons of people and that's the nicest part

[Anonymous No.23446984]

How do you choose names for your characters? I pick them based on whatever music artists I've been listening to lately.

[Anonymous No.23447090]

>>23446984

For female characters, I've been having a lot of fun naming them after virtues.

Faith, Hope, Charity, Verity, Grace, etc.

[Anonymous No.23447103]

>>23446011
>>23446038
Okay since this thread is relatively slow and nobody has objected, I will post it:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/14ZqUd00VfYgYLkJurx06JAQqKArinfAEos0GiN-e8xk/mobilebasic

[Anonymous No.23447216]

>>23446984
I look up baby birth names for specific years

[Anonymous No.23447330]

>>23445137
So? It's a lake house. Bring pens and paper and turn your phone off.

[Anonymous No.23447349]

>Michael shielded his head with his arms and threw himself into the dirt.
>Throwing himself into the dirt, Michael shielded his head with his arms.

Which one better displays the speed and force of someone dropping down and taking shelter?

[Anonymous No.23447355]

>>23447330
I would just write endless diatribes about mosquitos, I'm sure.

[Anonymous No.23447358]

>>23447349
What about
>Michael threw himself to the dirt, shielding his head with his arms

It's a bit more urgent

[Anonymous No.23447378]

>>23447358
Thanks, that's pretty good. I'll go with that.

[Anonymous No.23447454]

>>23446006
I really like this compared to ms word

[Anonymous No.23447462]

>>23446593
>Walk up to a merchant and hold my eyes far apart like I'm imitating a chinaman
>DU HERRO do u know where dis is?
nothing
>>I'dliketospeaktosomebooodeee who speaka chinese
>Ohyeahweeaweeuh

[Anonymous No.23447463]

>>23446320
What money lmao

[Anonymous No.23447465]

>>23447090
Be Catholic novel
>Mary, Mary 2, Mary3, Mary4

[Anonymous No.23447522]

>The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Association defines a novella's word count to be between 17,500 and 40,000 words
Does that sound right to you? 18k words could be publishable?

[Anonymous No.23447531]

>>23446006
https://orgmode.org/org.html#LaTeX-Export

[Anonymous No.23447584]

>>23447355
Simple trick. If you try to grab them out of the air or clap them between your hands, they often slide right through your fingers and ride the air currents to escape.

However, if your hands are slightly wet, the surface tension of the water will make them stick. Doesn't take much. Wipe the sweat off your brow or the condensation off a cold beer can on a warm evening. Your success rate for grabbing them out of the air mid-flight will approach 100% so long as you don't spaz.

I'm particularly fond of catching ones that are blood-filled and placing them into spider webs so that the spiders get a huge feed. I'm hoping to develop a colony of vampire spiders that crave human blood.

[Anonymous No.23447595]

>>23447522
My chapters are literally 3k. I don't understand how could anyone consider a short story to be anything less than 40k.

[Anonymous No.23447600]

>>23447522

I aim for 2k length chapters. I'm not saying it's impossible, but you'd have to be very skilled to not make it feel like things were trimmed and skimped out on.

Which, I mean, I guess if you're aiming for something to be published, you would have to be rather skilled, so, fair, I guess.

To be fair though, I'm writing a mediocre long-length novel, not a short novella though, so, meh.

[Anonymous No.23447634]

No one has ever said anything positive about my writing.

[Anonymous No.23447638]

>>23447634
There is nothing positive about frogposters

[Anonymous No.23447640]

>>23447634

Okay, post your writing anon, let's see it.

[Anonymous No.23447649]

>>23447640
No you'll make fun

[Anonymous No.23447654]

>>23447649

Anon, you won't ever improve without constructive criticism. If you want something you'll get positive feedback on, you need to show us your early cringe works so that way we can tell you what went wrong and avoid making the same mistakes next time.

[Anonymous No.23447659]

So, I have an anamorphic lens set and a cinema camera at my disposal. If any anons who have a short screenplay with no producers attached, send it through and I'll make it for shits and giggles.

[Anonymous No.23447666]

I struggle so much with this intro, this is the only work I have "completed" yet it has its share of issues.
I read a LOT of WNs which is why my writing style is like this.
I'm the guy from earlier, I took my other work down because I want to remake the entire thing. I'm not comfortable with writing nip fiction and I'll do it in a more Western, more relatable style that I'm actually comfortable writing. It was an experiment.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56116507

[Anonymous No.23447777]

>Want to do some work on my book
>In the final stages and don't know what more to do to it
Hm.

[Anonymous No.23447819]

>>23447777
Checked.

[Anonymous No.23447822]

>>23444930
Why was he such a disgusting edgy faggot

[Anonymous No.23447830]

>>23447330
You would get really lonely really quickly

[Anonymous No.23447879]

>>23447830
NGMI

[Anonymous No.23447881]

>>23447830
I'm not the sort of person that needs other people. Other people, by and large, suck.

[Anonymous No.23447911]

So I've come up with some subsets of a form of magic in my setting, I'm not sure what to name them.

I'm also not sure about "reigning". Originally I wanted something different from "bending" from Avatar, but I realized bending as in controlling something doesn't have a lot of good sounding synonyms.

Should I just resort to just naming it "Astronbending"?

Also I'm wondering if I should add any more subsets of the art- I couldn't think of any more really.

[Anonymous No.23447935]

>>23447911
Is this like glintstone?

[Anonymous No.23447940]

>>23447881
Yeah, but what if you run out of beer? Or cigs? What if you're really craving a burger?
You'd have to really stock this place to make it right.

[Anonymous No.23447943]

>>23447777
Further, how do I know when to stop adding to it?

[Anonymous No.23447954]

>>23447935
meant to be more like throwing supercharged radium at people but more fantasy-esque so prefer to stay away from actually naming it anything with -ium

[Anonymous No.23447965]

>>23447954
It's unique, and I like it.

[Anonymous No.23447966]

>>23447954
>>23447965
but all your characters are going to get cancer

[Anonymous No.23448007]

Thoughts on self publishing a collection (4-6) of short horror stories? I've had a few short stories get published that are old enough for me to include them, would having a "previously included in <publication>" blurb help to gain traction?

[Anonymous No.23448049]

is this the right thread (or even the right board) for people who write and mail letters/postcards?

it's something I've done for years, sometimes keeping letters going back and forth for years with fellow anons from different board.
but I never know where to put up offers and requests for epistolary communication.

it isn't necessarily "literature" and the writing is mostly non-fictional and rather mundane but this just feels the most fitting board.

[Anonymous No.23448062]

>>23447966
>>23447965
the tribe that uses it is immune to cancer

I think I'll just call it Astronbending- fuck the originality bending is a good term

not sure what to call the others. Explosions I think could be novabending or something like that.

[Anonymous No.23448084]

today... i write?

[Anonymous No.23448087]

>>23448084
lol no

[Anonymous No.23448098]

>>23448062
>Astronbending
one of the dumbest words i've ever seen. you should be taken out back behind the shed and shot in the back of the head for putting this hideous abomination into my brain. i wish i could go back twenty seconds to a version of me that never opened this thread and read your post.

[Anonymous No.23448100]

>>23447654
NTA but I’ve been here long enough to know you’re not smart enough to give constructive criticism.

[Anonymous No.23448124]

>>23448098
Back under the bridge you warty old troll!

[Anonymous No.23448148]

>>23447940
I'm not addicted to things, and plus, that cabin >>23445635 is only a few yards from shore.

[Anonymous No.23448150]

>>23448148
If it was there'd be a bridge and not a dock

[Anonymous No.23448151]

>>23447965
Not really unique. The Green Bone saga by Fonda Lee shows a martial-arts culture that revolves around bioelectric jade.

[Anonymous No.23448183]

>>23448150
Are you literally too stupid to look at the URL?

[Anonymous No.23448231]

>>23447911
What makes magic unique or interesting in fiction isn't the power itself but the limitations of that power. One anon mentioned that you'd get cancer from using this and you immediately dismissed it by saying that the users are immune cancer, when in fact, exploring the consequences of that limitation is where the story lies.

Also, "inverting radiation to heal" is incredibly stupid. What you've described here is more appropriate for videogame lore than something that would go in a book.

[Anonymous No.23448248]

>>23447531
I know I could do that with Org Mode but my outlines are a nested green text with headers I would not want as chapter titles. LaTeX needing Reddit spaceing is a feature for me because I have Evil installed so I don't like every pyrograph being its own line. I'm also a big enough /g/ fag that I love the idea of my books having source code.

[Anonymous No.23448253]

>>23448231
I did actually have some limitations in mind, namely that the tribe could not use what most other people can use as magic (which is more traditional magic like casting spells, incantations, etc.). Essentially they're TTRPG monks in a world of wizards, sorcerers, etc.

I did not dismiss cancer because I don't like limitations. I dismissed it because it would not suit the story I have in mind- it involves grandmasters like in those old kung fu movies or books, and having them be dead from cancer kind of doesn't work.

Also they would need to train like Avatar: The Last Airbender benders would- forms, physical training, etc.

Maybe inverting radiation to heal is not a good idea. Perhaps something like, it energizes their cells to encourage recovery.

To be honest that one I kind of just came up with really quick and didn't think much of it.

[Anonymous No.23448264]

>>23448183
If it was pertinent information I might have given a shit.

[Anonymous No.23448267]

>>23448183
I literally don't give a shit.

[Anonymous No.23448302]

>>23448267
pretty pathetic cope

[Anonymous No.23448342]

I'm getting ready to start releasing a story chapter-by-chapter. Does anyone have any insight into which platforms are best for this?

I don't hate the idea of trying RR, but I am probably aiming for a chapter every two weeks. There is no way in hell I am going to be keeping the pace people say you need to succeed on RR, but I'm not sure if infrequent posting there is literally pointless, or just not optimal if you are trying to blow up.

Patreon and Substack seem like the easier choices, but I have not used either all that much from the creator side. I'm assuming my model would be to put it up for free then let subscribers get the most recent chapter, but I'm open to letting donations be totally voluntary and waiting until I do a print edition later to try to make money. Is there a compelling reason to choose one over the other?

Any insights would be appreciated. I'm trying to build a buffer of fully-edited, ready-to-go chapters before I go public, but I'm getting close and want to start looking at platforms and come up with a plan.

[Anonymous No.23448381]

>>23448342
backlog first, post 2 chapters a week in the beginning, then 1 a week. 1 every 2 weeks sounds like a real hassle to get through unless you have an established fanbase. might be better to write the full book and then stick with one chapter a week. having a 5 to 10 Patreon backlog is mandatory

[Anonymous No.23448419]

>>23448342
RR and Patreon are complimentary. Most successful webnovel people just use RR as advertisement for their Patreon, because that's how they make money.
Doing only Patreon will get you no audience, and doing only RR will get you no money.
As for release schedule, more frequent = more good, which is one of the reasons people will tell you that it's best to wait until you're done writing to release.
But if you don't want to do that, your schedule really depends on the size of your chapters. If you write one 5k word chapter per week, it's far better to cut it in half and release two chapters. It's the same wordcount per week, but better distribution for engagement. And don't worry about the size being too small, the 'people' on RR are content with retardedly tiny chapters.

[Anonymous No.23448462]

>>23448007
What's the worst that could happen if you did?

[Anonymous No.23448597]

>>23448462
Failure

[Anonymous No.23448604]

>>23448419
Does rr work for other genres, other than lit rpg or fantasy and scifi?

[Anonymous No.23448615]

>>23448597
that's not so bad

[Anonymous No.23448621]

>>23448615
Not on its own, but the prospect of wasting that much time (and possibly money) is a bit off-putting.

[Anonymous No.23448625]

Here's the rub anon. I'm only writing this down because oddly, having to put my dilemmas in a post usually helps. I have this setting with a fair number of gods (about two dozens). They bestow powers on their followers, as gods do, their gimmicks being that the power they give are very loosely defined and they just give it to people they like, it's less about flinging fireballs and more about "the god of blood and newborns like how you're a good father to your infant son so now everything you eat gushes blood by the gallons when you bite down into it, and you're starting to like it"

The problem I have is that I'm still unsure on whether I want society as a whole to know about them or not. A big part of my backstory involves gods being very involved. I have a couple idea but I'm not too sure yet. I'm posting this on /wg/ because this is less about worldbuilding and more about the story.

>First, I wanted the general public to know about them, and treat them as part of life. The problem with that is that I want to write a more mystic, discreet, secret-cult-like meeting story, and just having everyone shrug it off bore me. At the same time I plan on every single one of my protagonist to already have a working knowledge of the supernatural.
>Then I decided to go the other way and have the real gods being secrets, with the protagonists already being part of that secret society world. It causes problems in my story because something clearly supernatural happens everyday, but I believe I can work it out because I am writing the plot to take place in an alternate mid-20th century, where there was no mass communication and a shaky general understanding of sciences. Plus I can just work out that gods give small nudges to keep the masquerade going themselves.

I'm basically just wondering if you'd have an interesting take to share on this, because maybe I got too close to really notice something obvious.

[Anonymous No.23448648]

>>23448621
Life is about choices, anon and every choice comes with inherent risks, including the choice to do nothing.

[Anonymous No.23448693]

>>23448621
Your potential for success would be wasted by not trying. I hope you find this prospect quite on-putting.

[Anonymous No.23448732]

>>23448648
>>23448693
>>23448615
>>23448462
Okay, I'll do it for you anons.
No homo.

[Anonymous No.23448765]

>>23447522
I've been told anything under 50k, maybe even under 60k, is unpublishable, at least traditionally. A company doesn't want to spend the resources when, the shorter it is, the cheaper they have to sell it for, since a reader won't pay a lot of money for something they can finish in a few hours. A lot of those really short stories can't even break even on cost, let alone turn any profit.

>>23447600
My chapters are about 1.5k on average. I just don't see the need to drone on about scenery. I try to think of ways to beef them up but it just seems like padding.

[Anonymous No.23448797]

>>23447777
I'm exactly the opposite. I love pouring over a draft and fixing all the minor details for hours. I absolutely hate sitting in front of a blank screen and having to come up with that first draft from scratch. I have 6 more chapters I need to write and they exist only as vague concepts in my mind because I put off writing them.

[Anonymous No.23448815]

>>23448765
>I just don't see the need to drone on about scenery
yeah man absolutely
>*spends ten pages describing the duchess of loliville and what color underpants she wears on tuesday*
hate it when people drone on about.......... scenery. it's just such a drag!

[Anonymous No.23448834]

So do I need a developmental editor or no?

[Anonymous No.23448854]

>>23448834
On your first book, yes. Then you take what you learn from the editor and rewrite it. And use that knowledge for your second book.

[Anonymous No.23448904]

>>23448854
That's a lot of money...

[Anonymous No.23448932]

>>23448854
Different anon but I don't want to rewrite it. I already re-wrote my first two chapters three times and I'm tired and just want to move on now.

[Anonymous No.23448945]

>>23448932
I rewrote my entire novella 8 times.

Nobody read it.

Stop being a bitchboy.

[Anonymous No.23448965]

>>23445506
you might be looking for the word "pleadings"

[Anonymous No.23448992]

>>23448945
So what you're saying is all those rewrites were a waste of time.

[Anonymous No.23448999]

>>23448992
No, I became a better writer by rewriting them.

Anything you write can very well be a waste of time. If you expect instant success, you should try something else.

[Anonymous No.23449016]

>read what I wrote two years ago

His father was still lying on the couch, watching the final quarter of a football game. When Jason tried to tell him of the car crash he nodded but kept his eyes fixated on the television screen. Jason couldn't tell if he wasn't surprised because already knew about it or if he just wasn't interested. The referee blew his whistle and a group of players were standing around arguing over something while the timer was stopped. Jason tried telling him again, this time louder, but his father said he would listen in more detail tomorrow. There five minutes left to go in the game, which Jason knew full well really meant it would take 20 minutes for this game to finish. The players were standing around doing nothing and the camera was panning over the benches which showed the currently non-participating players sweating, drinking, and in general doing nothing to speed up the end of this event.

Holy shit this is trash. Where is my gun? I can't live in a world where I wrote this.

[Anonymous No.23449020]

>>23449016
If you think your own writing is garbage that means you improved, anon.

[Anonymous No.23449029]

>chapter is supposed to be funny
>it's not funny
>tfw I can't into humor

[Anonymous No.23449044]

>>23449029
Humor is really hard to pull off. Avoid puns and go for situationals instead.
Do buildups. My thing literally had a joke that was cooking for 6 months of writing.

[Anonymous No.23449051]

>>23449029
If it sounds too serious make it exaggerated. Take subtle actions like "he opened the door" and make it comically absurd: "the door flew off its hinges when he stormed outside" to give it a surreal over the top feel that will set it apart from sounding like a normal event.

[Anonymous No.23449077]

>>23449016

just edit and stop being a fag

[Anonymous No.23449112]

>>23449051
>guards reach for the door to open it for the MC
>he kicks it open
>walks in like he owns the place
I am not saying this is the golden example, but this is how you do humor. Then again, it doesn't always fit everywhere and into everything. Adjust or exaggerate as you deem appropriate.

[Anonymous No.23449354]

>Using paid software for automatic formating
>export to PDF
>removes custom fonts
At least I know for the future.

[Anonymous No.23449664]

>>23449354
I was having issues with artifacting on a specific document that needed to be as clean as possible with both adobe pdf and microsoft pdf, so the program I used - free, ofc - is clawpdf. try using that. I know one of those programs I used doesn't like custom fonts and it just turns it into gibberish when I try to use it there, too

[Anonymous No.23449677]

>>23449354
You have to select the option for preserving fonts in the PDF. That's usually called an "archive PDF", sometimes PDF/A or ISO 19005.

[Anonymous No.23449691]

A 16-year-old wreck emerged one evening during a smoke break outdoors as Cicadas cry beneath under shade blasted tree lead by former past departed bygones, sedentary. Having known of the creature for the minimum least one month originating both sides. Requested a cigarette and pass it over, as one can tell knowingly, they were curiosity, immature, foolishness of previously mentioned kid naivety etched upon. There is a tender propensity obligation showing one lesson to the poor individual, an absolute will few never forget as one gave another a glaring eye fueled to naked eye, certain spirit of inquiry and grinned.

Slow suicide, coffin nail.
Ignite this lighter now.

Harmless soul was unable, as the inability was the lack of absent experience in such vices.

A Mockery.

Sudden swift motion straight punch on the temple which then proceeded to collapse fell flat into mud. Fall from grace delivered without words.

Self-proclaimed Genuine Full-Grain Leather boots made for the purpose of Industrial Safety accompanied with durable craftsmanship that would not compromise on security. A Steel Toe Cap & Midsole, Oil Resistant provides better footing, DLSC long lasting.

It has not been fair months but is worn down to the very core.

Unaware but shown closer following inspection bore marks nearly all stepped on many, many unimaginably filthy repugnant grounds numerous of ones.

Reveal before another time, pretty face marred by the encounter of particular to yet again receive once more beatdown awaited when opportunity arises and be warned. Facial profile shall be the most legendary grimiest of all in history life itself God forbid not ever get trampled by so.

Farewell, take care.

[Anonymous No.23449705]

Tips on writing effective horror?

[Anonymous No.23449708]

>>23449705
Make it extra spoopy

[Anonymous No.23449729]

>>23444924
Daily writing session. I'm reworking the first part of my novel and the introduction to these characters. How's the pacing and characterization in terms of introduction? I'm trying to work with shorter chapters, a la Tolstoy, so where the "-" is where there is a chapter break.

I essentially want to show the character Priscilla, what her deal is, why she is the way she is, and then use the "floating haze" to forshadow the personalities of her servants, Erin, Inga and Corinne. But in any case, everything will be further explained as it goes on, I am more interested in how everything works as an introduction to the novel.

[Anonymous No.23449751]

>>23449705
Start with a grounding in Gothic.

[Anonymous No.23449752]

>>23448419
>As for release schedule, more frequent = more good, which is one of the reasons people will tell you that it's best to wait until you're done writing to release.
>But if you don't want to do that, your schedule really depends on the size of your chapters. If you write one 5k word chapter per week, it's far better to cut it in half and release two chapters. It's the same wordcount per week, but better distribution for engagement. And don't worry about the size being too small, the 'people' on RR are content with retardedly tiny chapters.

That seems like good advice. Getting maximum views right off the bat is not my priority, but I'm open to tweaking a few things if it's not a huge change compared to the benefits. Releasing half-chapters on RR with a slight lag wouldn't be that hard.

I'm not going to build up a massive backlog (part of my motivation for trying to release serially is being sick of sitting on a huge first draft) but I might get a deeper buffer and go for one-a-week instead. I think I could comfortably get two chapters a month out, but trying for weekly might be worth the delay. I doubt the first book will be more than fifteen chapters anyway.

[Anonymous No.23449766]

>>23449705
Get good at writing tone.

[Anonymous No.23449842]

>tfw started a /qst/ thread to simulate writing on demand for a daily audience
>get so invested in it I begin to spend all my time writing and planning the quest instead of my novel
>finally decide to cut it short and go back to my novel
I'm so sorry, please don't tell /qst/ bwos. In the end, I was kind of satisfied with the results in a microcosm. Even though the story was ultimately unfinished, it provided me with first-hand experience regarding the sense of diligence an unpublished novelist wouldn't ever have felt otherwise.

[Anonymous No.23449854]

>>23449705
From my understanding, great horror is all about suspense and making the horror mythical even if it's really realistic. Mainly for the sense of power over the viewer. Zombies have numbers. Monsters have their shape and size. The unknown as the unknown. Remove these features that defines the strength and the horror is lost. So you always want to have some sort of unknown surrounding it to the reader. Revealing too much means they can be beaten, and you don't want that sense of it being beaten. You want it to be some sort of force they cannot be escaped from, inevitability.

[Anonymous No.23449891]

>>23449854
With stuff like Dracula, there are ways for the protag to win and survive, but ultimately it's a massive struggle, and the tone is set up where it's very unknown if survival is possible. Beating the horror must be life or death kind of thing.
Here are the best things with horror
>Manipulation of the reader/protag
Makes lots of unknowns and doesn't show the full scope of the horror
>Planned attacks for intensity
Something like a beast that watches it's prey, actively trying to make them weaker before striking for a bigger blow
>obfuscation when details aren't needed
For example, a beast doesn't need to be shown until near the end, how many arms or legs or how big or small doesn't matter until the final confrontation. You can describe it's shadow or it's movements, it's breathing, it's howls. It's prey's remains and how it interacts with them.

Basically Horror is all about setting up possibilities and keeping information out so the reader makes up and wonders what will happen. Since people's internal ideas of worry will always be stronger than anything else you can do. Try to shatter any expectations (it's it's a forest beast, have it try to make human like voices and have it come out of the forest out of it's comfort zone for smaller interactions). If it's someone insane, have them actively plan out traps and being very random (smart/planned yet unstable). If anything is human like, have unhuman like elements that are off, unsettling in speech/etc. Stuff like PTSD and hallucinations with the protag or with others would make things much more unknown what is real and what is false, but only after they have faced the beast once to set them up as their worry overtakes them.

[Anonymous No.23449908]

>>23449891
In short:

Don't look at SCP shit where it actively tries to explain everything. Leave most things unexplained. Give the horror some power and a reason for the reader and the protag/people in the story to feel intensity. Slowly build things up. Explore before and after with attacks with more detail leaving many things for the reader to figure out of the actual attack. Unless it's something like a Serial killer, you might want some details of the stuff when it happens but still with unknowns when it's an active attack. Active attacks should be savage, almost showing playfullness in the attack.

[Anonymous No.23449935]

>>23449842
I am forced to write 6k words every 2 days to maintain my schedule.

It's hell. I do it for free. I love it.

[Anonymous No.23449947]

>>23449935
How do you even think up that much content on a regular basis? I can't even think of a story long enough to fill 30k words.

[Anonymous No.23449958]

>have about 6 chapters left to finish my story
>no longer have the urge to do it

This happens each time, I go hard at it for about a month then burn out and let it sit for six months until I come back to it again. I just want at least one complete rough draft already.

[Anonymous No.23449969]

>>23449729
Pls give feedback frens

[Anonymous No.23450038]

>knuckle down to finish short story
>feel good but remiss about the word count falling slightly short of my projection
>as I take a celebratory break I suddenly think about different small sections to flesh out that'd push it up where I want it

[Anonymous No.23450045]

>>23450038
What's your word goal?

[Anonymous No.23450080]

I have fuck all idea of how to write this chapter so I'm just throwing ideas down in an outline and trying to sort something out from there. Is that how you guys do it?

Everyone says add conflict and drama but this scene is pretty chill with a guy coming home after a long time away and is relaxing at the park looking at kids playing ball and seeing birds and stuff. Not sure why kind of drama to force into it.

[Anonymous No.23450172]

>>23445635
Knew this would be Winnipesaukee as soon as i saw the image. Laconian Waters.

[Anonymous No.23450266]

Help me come up with some copes as to why I should spend 2000 smackers on an editor.

[Anonymous No.23450279]

Listening to the first episode of Robert Butler's creative writing series, I really like this idea, looking forward to watching it all and learning from it.

[Anonymous No.23450284]

>>23450080
Time. Anxiety. Preoccupation. Something else is rolling around in his mind as he goes through the day.

[Anonymous No.23450326]

>>23450266
You're so damn stupid, you won't make it without a quality editor.

[Anonymous No.23450340]

>>23449947
>How do you even think up that much content on a regular basis?
I have a vague idea in my head how I want the story to go, I just need to get the words out of my brain in a format that is accessible to others without schizophrenia transmission.

[Anonymous No.23450342]

I randomly though about an old highschool friend recently. He was actually my first friend in highschool as I didn't know anyone coming in. He was a fat, awkward, bucktoothed, shy nerd but was actually a very funny guy. We used to play on Xbox live together.

We ended up hanging out in different social groups by the end of school but still got along and had a laugh whenever we could. We only really stayed in contact for about a year after school, so it has been more than a decade since I've spoken to him or even had any interest in seeing how life was going for him. I decided to check just through social media and managed to catch up on about 13 years of my old friend's life and made me depressed.

He decided to pursue drama, acting, theatre etc and to that end moved from our town to the "cultural centre" of my country, where most tv and film stuff is made.

He also had a gf (his first) for a few years; an ugly nerd girl who fucked and dated that whole friend group which seems to happen in those weirdly incestuous and filthy nerd groups. They broke up at some point and she's now dating a bisexual polyamorous soijak guy who works at an LGBTQ health clinic. I don't think my friend ever got any acting gigs but he was on an unsuccessful DnD/"nerd culture" Youtube show for several years, while working as a waiter to pay the bills. He doesn't look to be part of it anymore so I'm not sure what's become of him. I hope things got better for him. I think his dad died at some point too.

[Anonymous No.23450372]

>>23450326
Anon.... I'm getting an editor, as my post suggests. I'm just struggling to part with 2000 doubloons.

[Anonymous No.23450395]

I think what's put me off of trying to write a book so far is the thought that I'm meant to write it quickly and if I don't, I'm retarded. But in reality, that's just not true, the best authors in the world for example take months to write their books, they stop and stare at the page when they can't think of anything to write too. Maybe my self awareness will be the kick in the ass I need.

[Anonymous No.23450422]

>>23450372
You asked for reasons to pay up, I told you one good reason, and you were too dumb to even see that. I don't think an editor can save you, you need a ghost writer

[Anonymous No.23450429]

>>23450422
Oh, you're one of those people. Sad

[Anonymous No.23450437]

>>23450372
Sounds like way too much to me. I'm sure you can find one for $300 or less. The whole self-pub with editors, formatters, graphic designers, etc. shouldn't even reach 2k really.

[Anonymous No.23450453]

>>23448231
>>23448253
I'm trying hard to come up with a limiting factor. I think you have a good point that the limitations are what make it interesting, it made me think of Eragon.

an idea I had was that the magic or bending or relatively short ranged for all but the most skilled of masters (AKA ancient people), something like this video: https://youtu.be/PKGXnoKJ6gQ?t=7

However it doesn't really seem very creative or interesting of a limitation. It would suit the martial arts themed nature of it though.

[Anonymous No.23450454]

>>23450372
You're getting scammed.

[Anonymous No.23450458]

>>23450453
>>23448253
>>23448231
There is an entire fucking general for you completely tasteless worldbuilding fags. Is it not enough to have an entire general on the literal topic you're discussing? Can't you understand that most people don't want anything to do with the nomenclature of your hocus pocus, or whether or not you steal it from a Chinese of Western cartoon for children? Can you PLEASE just keep this shit in its LITERAL, DEDICATED general thread if you can't manage to get good taste?

[Anonymous No.23450488]

>get back into writing after a month of no writing but reading
>can only manage to bang out 300 very poorly typed out words when doing writing sprint warm-up
>max i’ve gotten is 600 words total
>used to be able to bang out 2.2k words in 2 hours
>words are have obscene number of typos
it’s not possible to get this rusty from not writing consistently, right anons?

it probably is, but i’ve never had any issues with typos until within the last 2 years in general

i have no idea what’s causing me to make so many

[Anonymous No.23450492]

>>23450458

>People discuss aspects of writing in writing general

>NOOOOOO, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN

[Anonymous No.23450567]

>>23450454
>>23450437
Isn't that fairly average? 0.02 a word, 95000-100000 words? Comes out to about 2k

[Anonymous No.23450631]

>>23450567
If cost is that much of a concern then you can probably cut a couple hundred or thousand. Ctrl+F for "that" and most of them can probably be deleted. People seem to overuse that word a lot and don't even realize it.

[Anonymous No.23451115]

The young grass is sprinkled with dew. The delicate spots of light float atop the blades and reflect the rising sun. The wind, calm for now, whistles above the field and sings for a new day. A rabbit rests beside a patch of brown, cheeks pulsating as it chews its breakfast. The grey clouds diminish into the distance and give way to cerulean heavens. A boot steps on the naive grass, and somewhere in the distance, another boot steps in the opposite direction. Behind each are many more, but between them is only a green canvas waking up for the day.

[Anonymous No.23451164]

>>23451115
Zzzzz

[Anonymous No.23451173]

>>23451164
glad you liked it anon

[Anonymous No.23451225]

>>23447638
Frog website.

[Anonymous No.23451248]

>>23451115
Reads like babby's first attempt at poetic description. Let me guess, you're one of those who just "don't see the point in droning on about scenery," but thought you'd try to prove to yourself that you can do it. This kind of writing is directly tied to poetry. Descriptions, if they're worth their salt, are essentially little prose poems. They have to stand on their own and justify their existence by virtue of their independent beauty. If you want to get better, you should actually read and write poetry. The language itself must be independently beautiful and this is not. What you wrote is like a painted two-dollar whore. Looks fine from a distance at night but when you take a good look at it you see the pitted acne scars, the places where foundation's caked too thin to hide the crowsfeet, the mascara slightly running from the tears after her last blowjob.

You're just going to pretend you wrote something great whose genius we don't understand, but I have to say it anyway: this shit fucking sucks.

[Anonymous No.23451251]

>>23450266
Just use a LLM

[Anonymous No.23451253]

A pile of ashes. Confusion. A stake on fire in a pile of burning ashes. Worry. Frightened faces. Eyes of terror. Anxiety. A burning torch. Pitchforks. Confusion. Humans. Village homes. Pitchforks. Terrified eyes. Disbelief. Fear. Terror. Indignation. Outrage. Anger.

Anger. Anger. Anger. Anger. Anger. A terrified face. Red. A head. A man. A man. A man. A woman. A man. Pleasant warmth on hands. A man's back. A man with a torch. Eyes of terror. A searing pain in hand. Hatred. Liquid flowing down hands. Burning village homes.

Something burning. Fleshy bits. An itching on a cheek. An arm. Black smoke. A dirt road. An itching on a cheek. Blood. Sooty clawed fingers. The dirt road. The sky. Empty. Void.

[Anonymous No.23451257]

>>23451253
Reminds me of this. Same tone kek
>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RJGXuxM1_pc&pp=ygUPc2hhbWVtYWtlciB3ZWVu

[Anonymous No.23451258]

>>23450488
You'll get back into it within a few weeks

[Anonymous No.23451264]

>>23451248
nah man I wrote this in 5 mins for WWOYM yesterday to take a break from my novel, nobody replied so I just dumped it here.

> Let me guess, you're one of those who just "don't see the point in droning on about scenery," but thought you'd try to prove to yourself that you can do it.
>You're just going to pretend you wrote something great whose genius we don't understand
I genuinely have no idea where this came from. Do I need to caveat a bit of flash fiction on /wg/ with "by the way I don't think I'm a super genius that is leagues above everybody else in this thread" just so you don't project your shit onto me?

[Anonymous No.23451271]

>>23451264
>Do I need to caveat a bit of flash fiction on /wg/ with "by the way I don't think I'm a super genius that is leagues above everybody else in this thread" just so you don't project your shit onto me?
You could just post something good instead, you know. I don't know why you're getting so butthurt by criticism (which stands, for the record) when you come in to use the thread as a dumping-ground for your literal trash.

[Anonymous No.23451279]

>>23451271
The only valid criticism is that it's like poetry and comes across as superficial to you, which considering the context I gave you makes sense. So I'm not butthurt about valid criticism but I'm a little confused as to why it made you THAT angry and why it caused you to come up with so many incorrect assumptions about me?
>You could just post something good instead, you know.
I posted some writing, you didn't like it.
Feel free to post some of your work so I can learn what good writing looks like. I know you won't because the most aggressive people in this thread never ever post their own work. I'm here to learn and discuss writing, not to get mad at things that weren't even posted.

[Anonymous No.23451280]

>>23451115
>calm for now
>new day
>The grey clouds diminish into the distance and give way to cerulean heavens.
>naive grass
>only
>for the day
There are more unnecessary words that can be cut. In one paragraph I've been told it's daytime fucking thrice

[Anonymous No.23451284]

>>23451280
The young grass is sprinkled with dew. The delicate spots of light float atop the blades and reflect the rising sun. The wind whistles above the field and sings. A rabbit rests beside a patch of brown, cheeks pulsating as it chews its breakfast. A boot steps on the grass, and somewhere in the distance, another boot steps in the opposite direction. Behind each are many more, but between them is only a green canvas.

You're right, a lot of that was unnecessary and it reads a little better now. The last sentence is the trickiest one for me.

[Anonymous No.23451288]

>>23451279
>Feel free to post some of your work so I can learn what good writing looks like
Well, you did ask, so no take-backs.
>The decor has seen updates. Dramatic dildonics adorn the hall, so many myriad members throbbing in sculpture out from the walls, sprouting from the floor—a veritable boneyard of penises—they come cut and uncut, trimmed and untrimmed, from every angle by which the eye might pass; penises light and dark, large and small, some curving sideways, others in helices reaching up in pairs of two, in triplicate or more, towards the now-darkened lamplights; some rakish penises angled askance, others laid low along the ground; veiny, smooth, hard, soft, every possible configuration of cock expressing some dick dreamer's unbounded gnosis, interred for all eternity—or what remains of it—in marble here, in granite there, some chrysoprase detailing on lacquered hardwoods—ebony, hickory, olivewood—streams of gold sprouting mock-molten from rosewood glans… there are chairs here whose peniform backings rise from cushions of bristling black boarshair, felted brown upholstery, bare alder, to droop lazily down upon the seated’s ostensible shoulder, the crook of its laconic wooden foreskin inviting rest beneath its shade, the embrace would be warm and caring, like sitting under a banyan at the height of summer… and, in the distant past, were one to sit upon one of these chaises, he or she might have listened at dusk, with the lights glowed down to incandescence, their timbre of campfire, to waters flowing gently perhaps, from the pièce de résistance, whose flaccid Greek proportions bely a sheer magnitude of scope—its descent from the high-vaulted ceiling, some fifty or sixty feet up, drags nearly its terminant foreskin across the lobby floor—emitting waters which once flowed steady, dribbled fits and starts, or gushed voluminous bursts into an ornate and embossed circular basin of immense proportion held low aloft by a dwarf colonnade in keeping with the finest of Ionian tradition, and whose facade entablature might have been carved by Michaelangelo himself… and which bears still a mysterious ammonic smell whose origin I cannot imagine nor postulate.

[Anonymous No.23451294]

>>23449729
Bump

[Anonymous No.23451302]

>>23451288
fucking lmao. I was completely correct that the entire spiel about being a misunderstood genius was pure projection from your end. This is the definition of what you were trying to say my writing was. Genuinely pretentious, except it seems like you're a degenerate to boot. Try posting writing that isn't about cocks or hookers.
>3 ellipses, 3 dashes in a single paragraph
hahahahahahaha I seriously hope that's from you cutting out bits of your writing

[Anonymous No.23451315]

>>23451302
Get your digs in! Whatever you need to regain a bit of ego relief. All's fair, I did criticize you pretty intensely.

[Anonymous No.23451319]

>>23451288
It manages to give a very thorough description, but I almost joined Saint Floyd with the absolute lack of commas. Slow down your text if it's just a room being described.

[Anonymous No.23451323]

>>23451253
A pile of boners. Bundled. A stake of boners in a pile of other boners which are burning. Despair. Boners, Boners boning. A burning boner torch made of boners. Pitch boners. Tied together with butcher's string. Villagers bonered. More pitch boners for some reason. Eyes, terrified of boners. Eyes in disbelief of boners. Boners. Whyboners. Flaccid boners. Angry boners. Throbbing boners.

Boners boners boners boners boners. A terrified boner. A red boner. A boner getting head. A man getting head. More men getting head. A woman giving head. Boners. Pleasant warmth on the boner. A man's boner. A man with a boner. Eyes which see boners. A searing pain in the boner. Hate boner. Liquid flowing from a boner. More boners burning for some reason.

Who is it burning, but more boners? Fleshy boners. An itchy boner. An arm being used as a boner. Black boners. A dirty boner. Another itchy boner. A bloody boner. Sooty, clawed boners. Another dirty boner, yet again.

[Anonymous No.23451325]

>>23451315
look mate we've duked it out now so whatever, but I am telling you that you should be careful about assuming people on here are pretentious if you want to write in the style you just posted.

either way kudos on actually posting something for me to look at after I requested it.

[Anonymous No.23451339]

>>23451325
I didn't call you pretentious. I said what you wrote was bad. The "genius" part was just general thread drama that got a bystander shot through the heart on his way to the garbage dump.

I still think your description sucks, though. You really should read more poetry.

[Anonymous No.23451352]

>>23451339
>You're just going to pretend you wrote something great whose genius we don't understand
you kind of did here. But it doesn't matter, you're right that it was shit writing and I don't want to deflect the valid critique with "it was practice I wasn't trying" so I will just take it.
Unfortunately this whole thing has put me off posting anything else here. It's basically impossible to convince somebody on here that you're not a self-righteous cunt once they've already decided you are.

[Anonymous No.23451358]

>>23451352
>It's basically impossible to convince somebody on here that you're not a self-righteous cunt once they've already decided you are.
I don't think you're self-righteous, anon. I definitely am, but you're not. I'm downright insufferable, honestly. So if that's your impression of me, let me unambiguously confirm it — no one can stand me. You're completely right to disregard everything I've written and go on with your life, pursuing your passion wherever it leads, incrementally improving as the rest of us do. After all, what you wrote is not indicative of some monolithic construct; it is a momentary output of who you were in that one moment... as you were on your journey someplace else.

We're all anonymous here. No one will remember this in twenty minutes. Keep going.

[Anonymous No.23451365]

>>23451358
>You're completely right to disregard everything I've written and go on with your life
But I don't want to do that. If somebody tells me my writing is shit then I want to listen and I want to improve. Whatever kind of people you and I may be, you are clearly somebody who cares about writing as much as I do, which means your criticism is more valuable to me than somebody I know irl who doesn't even read. It'd be stupid for me to ignore you completely, even if in this scenario the writing was not that "serious".
If people assume that I am a tryhard from just a couple sentences then that's an important note to take away. This is the kind of first impression I really want to avoid.

[Anonymous No.23451388]

>>23451365
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying hard. I personally don't think it's a deathknell, in and of itself, to be "caught" trying to write something that's beautiful in its phrasing (obviously). Some people do, of course, and while I don't necessarily think this attitude toward writing is necessarily elevating the level of literature in a broader scope, it's ultimately not up to me whether or not the greater "literary world" adheres rigidly to my preferred convention. Point being, I don't think you should worry about this. What I sense from the section you shared is a yearning to write something beautiful. Are you maybe caught between a yearning and a "should" statement, if that makes sense? Maybe it might be helpful to let go of ideas concerning "tryharding" (which seems to me an external overcorrection -- a kind of self-moderating impulse -- which may be more projection than universal), if only for a bit, and exploring the use of beautiful language.

I do genuinely think poetry might help. I'm reiterating it both because I don't think anyone reads enough of it, and because I feel like it might actually really help in this specific circumstance.

[Anonymous No.23451414]

>>23451388
> I personally don't think it's a deathknell, in and of itself, to be "caught" trying to write something that's beautiful in its phrasing (obviously). Some people do, of course, and while I don't necessarily think this attitude toward writing is necessarily elevating the level of literature in a broader scope, it's ultimately not up to me whether or not the greater "literary world" adheres rigidly to my preferred convention.
I completely agree with you and our writing philosophies may be more aligned than I thought.

>What I sense from the section you shared is a yearning to write something beautiful. Are you maybe caught between a yearning and a "should" statement, if that makes sense?
It makes sense and is true. My current novel is heavy on the concepts and plot, and I need to put a lot of thought into how they are presented, but ultimately I want to write something that creates an emotional connection and moves people.

>Maybe it might be helpful to let go of ideas concerning "tryharding" (which seems to me an external overcorrection -- a kind of self-moderating impulse -- which may be more projection than universal), if only for a bit, and exploring the use of beautiful language.
Valid. No doubt I suffer from the same self-criticism most of us do when we want to improve as writers, but as you said it might be holding me back. Ironically, this is something I have tried to do and it has successfully freed my headspace when writing, which is why your specific comments may have touched a nerve kek.

>I do genuinely think poetry might help. I'm reiterating it both because I don't think anyone reads enough of it, and because I feel like it might actually really help in this specific circumstance.
And it's good advice, apart from some rimbaud I bought as a teenager poetry is a massive gap in my reading, and honestly it's interesting how easily you picked up on that from just a couple sentences.
Would happily take recs if you have any.

[Anonymous No.23451444]

>>23451414
I'm driving home from work now and can't go into depth, but it's hard to go wrong with Yeats and Keats for starters. We're not all gonna make it, but they'll expect some of us in the wreckage and we might at least make for handsome corpses. Good luck, anon.

[Anonymous No.23451453]

>>23451444
>Good luck, anon.
You too my friend. Drive safe.

[Anonymous No.23451548]

How often do you feel like a paragraph is misplaced in your chapter? Such as "I think this exposition about railguns should now be placed before/after their physical description" I spend a lot of time reassembling my sentence order when editing, but I can't tell if what I'm doing is inane sidegrade or genuine improvement most of the time.

[Anonymous No.23451669]

>>23451548
I've never been reading a book only to think it was too polished. If you think a change is worth making, make it.

[Anonymous No.23451758]

>can't think of basic-ass names for magic artifacts in my fantasy story
do I resort to generators or should I push one more time to think of something that won't immediately come up as a search resort for a different series

[Anonymous No.23451767]

>>23451758
Use the letters x, y, z, q, -um
Think about your setting, which region of the world it relates to and parrot some shit like a dj

[Anonymous No.23451772]

>>23451115
Don't know why you're getting so much hate over this, I thought it was fine. The only part I would take issue with is "cheeks pulsating as it chews its breakfast."

I know the paragraph is meant to invoke morning, but the concept of an animal thinking in terms of "breakfast, lunch, dinner" sounds weird to me. For all we know the animal was awake all night so the idea of it being its first meal of the day is probably false, and more, rabbits eat almost constantly throughout the day and don't divide their eating into concrete sessions.

Sorry, just as a bio major that kinda triggered me. Also I'd avoid the use of the word "chew". It's such a disgusting sounding word and is anti-poetic.

[Anonymous No.23451775]

>>23451758
think about what it does, and create a name that captures its essence. One of the characters in my story uses a cursed celtic sword, which I called Hladaegh. It doesn't mean anything as far as I'm aware, it's just gibberish I made up. But prima facie it sounds celtic, and the syllables together sound darker and more ominous, so it's doing its job as far as I'm concerned.
Also, don't be afraid to use descriptive words as names. The magical necklace that creates a protective barrier around the wearer doesn't need to be called Zxathllamnour. You can just call it the warding amulet, or the barrier charm.

[Anonymous No.23451785]

>>23451775
>Hladaegh
>prima facie it sounds celtic
If you say so. Personally I have no idea how to pronounce that word and would just skip over it while reading, or replace it with another word I could say. It does -look- celtic, but unless your readers know how that language is spoken, or you've explained the phonetics earlier, it just reads like a mix of letters.

[Anonymous No.23451795]

>>23451785
>Personally I have no idea how to pronounce that word
hluh-die-g is my interpretation, but I don't know the first thing about celtic. I just mashed together syllables that looked appropriate, so long as the syllables also suggested a somewhat more ominous nature when combined.
>would just skip over it while reading, or replace it with another word I could say
It's namedropped maybe twice in total. The character who uses it is himself a side character, and the naming of blades isn't of great significance for understanding anything in the story. It's mostly just a worldbuilding thing.
>but unless your readers know how that language is spoken
He belongs to a culture that is overtly celtic. The first introduction to someone from his culture is a guy yelling and cussing in a strong irish accent.

[Anonymous No.23451798]

>>23451772
Good feedback thanks anon. I agree that the breakfast part makes no sense. Pulsating was also a bad choice, I was trying to think of something more specific or evocative than just 'chewing'. Any suggestions as a bio major?
>Don't know why you're getting so much hate over this, I thought it was fine
It's fine, all feedback is useful.

[Anonymous No.23451807]

>>23451798
>Any suggestions as a bio major?
The sciencey word for it is masticating but that doesn't flow any better. If it's for describing something cute like bunnies I'd just go for a cute sounding word like nibbling. Or if it's eating a carrot and want to evoke the sense of sound it makes while it eats I'd say "crunches" but that would go more for pet rabbits I'd think. Wild ones wouldn't be lucky enough to have a lot of access to carrots. Every time I see one when I go for a walk it's just eating some boring old grass.

[Anonymous No.23451816]

>>23451807
nibbling works, I want to go for cute because I was going for innocence. thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.23451880]

How do you describe how someone feels they are being watched without getting molested by the Show Don't Tell Army?

[Anonymous No.23451899]

>>23451280
>In one paragraph I've been told it's daytime fucking thrice
NTA but you just reminded me of a chapter I started the other day. In 3 paragraphs I alluded to how dark it was 10 different times. I guess in looking back that was overkill.

[Anonymous No.23451923]

>>23451880
character does something quick to show they are paranoid like peek through a curtain

[Anonymous No.23451929]

Describe their hair raising on their arms or on the back of their necks.
Write what they are currently doing, but mentions that their eyes just look around a little too much compared to the usual, or that they are just a little bit slower to answer questions because they're focused on something else

[Anonymous No.23451931]

>>23451929
Oops. meant for >>23451880

[Anonymous No.23451933]

>>23444924
I'm retarded and it slipped my mind that there's a general for this, so I made a whole thread about it >>23451639
but I'll ask here, because I'm curious
>has anyone used this approach where you write a mini-story that outlines the "core issue" of a character and then build him up around that with gesture, action, and speech that wouldn't be out of place in the mini-story? so far it's yielded some colorful conversations between characters

[Anonymous No.23451957]

>>23451933
>writing 2nd person well
nice
>has anyone used this approach where you write a mini-story that outlines the "core issue" of a character and then build him up around that with gesture, action, and speech that wouldn't be out of place in the mini-story? so far it's yielded some colorful conversations between characters
nope but I am intrigued as I have problems with the "core issue", could you elaborate?

[Anonymous No.23451958]

>>23451933
>made a whole thread about it
You can make a separated thread for advice I suppose, but the stray posters replying to you will be way worse than the ones itt.

[Anonymous No.23451963]

>>23451929
>Describe their hair raising on their arms or on the back of their necks.
You're not wrong, but isn't that a little cliche?

[Anonymous No.23451967]

>>23451963
Well, it depends on the kind of story and character you write about. A more humorous story could also use another body part entirely. I think it was Pratchett who wrote something like
>But her elbow was telling her to watch out, and a witch wouldn't amount to anything if she didn't learn to listen to her elbows.

[Anonymous No.23451971]

>>23451957
>nope but I am intrigued as I have problems with the "core issue", could you elaborate?
I don't boil a character down to traits, I build an unresolved "issue" or an unsatisfied need which can be quite abstract or layered, and then build the traits out of that
in other words, what does a person with this "need" act and talk like according to the story in his own head

[Anonymous No.23452012]

I am going to sit my ass down for the next hour and by god I will get off it when I get one good idea to unstick this fucking chapter.

[Anonymous No.23452020]

>>23451444
>>23451453
...now KISS

[Anonymous No.23452034]

>>23451880
>Trevor glanced over his shoulder to the parking lot, lit only by the dim glow of a halide lamp. A single ambulance hummed, aimed toward the exit, ready to dispatch. Trevor faced forward and continued walking toward the dugout. The towering floodlights were off, the diamond deserted. A breeze ruffled Trevor's short-sleeve khaki shirt. He patted his nape. The points of the bristling hairs poked his fingertips. He quickened his pace.

[Anonymous No.23452051]

>>23452012
Take a walk, that helps.

[Anonymous No.23452074]

>>23444924
Will buying an expensive laptop make me better at writing
ALSO
Is it better to start small and write fanfiction or litrpg before you write a book with heavier prose?

[Anonymous No.23452084]

>>23452074
>Will buying an expensive laptop make me better at writing
definitely

[Anonymous No.23452101]

>>23452074
I write with a broken notebook keyboard where I must click to type H, G, N, Z keys on the digital keyboard.

[Anonymous No.23452103]

>>23451958
yeah, I'll post the things I write for critique here from now on, thanks

[Anonymous No.23452108]

1,014 words today
a thousand a day has become doable but I need to speed it up. Any tips?

[Anonymous No.23452109]

I have an HP all-in-one printer that came with the ink that I got on clearance at Target many, many years ago for $25 and it still works. It came with starter ink that was worth the price of the printer and I've printed now three novel drafts on it.

[Anonymous No.23452112]

>>23452074
I don't think either is better than the other. Fanfiction is doing more creative things with existing characters and litrpg is doing very uncreative things with original characters. Either one helps to establish a habit of investing time into your writing, which is very important.

[Anonymous No.23452116]

>>23452108
Write faster
Get a good night's sleep
that's all I got

[Anonymous No.23452122]

>>23452074
>Will buying an expensive laptop make me better at writing
It won't make you better but if the experience of typing on it is nice you might be a fraction more productive.
>Is it better to start small and write fanfiction or litrpg before you write a book with heavier prose?
If you want to write the book then start with trying to write a chapter or a single scene. It doesn't have to be the first one. I wouldn't recommend litrpg because it's a completely different mode of writing and shit . I personally think fanfiction is not a good idea for beginner writers but others may disagree with me as it saves you the angst of coming up with your own characters and setting.

[Anonymous No.23452130]

>>23452116
My problem is I don't have the stamina to go beyond 1000-1500 for some reason. I have time to write, I am not physically tired and I always feel productive enough to push out some words for the day, but I don't know how to push through the mental exhaustion to write more.

[Anonymous No.23452155]

>>23452116
>Get a good night's sleep
Haha, faggot.
>>23452108
>>23452130
Copious amounts of caffeine and the pressure of disappointing your readers if you do not deliver.

[Anonymous No.23452162]

>>23452155
where can one purchase some hungry readers?

[Anonymous No.23452199]

>>23452051
Happy to report I did sat my ass and made some progress on the bit I was stuck on, not all of it, but a good 80% of what was bothering me.

[Anonymous No.23452226]

>>23444930
How would you write this?

[Anonymous No.23452267]

>>23452074
>Will buying an expensive laptop make me better at writing
Only if it has an RTX 4080 capable of advanced ray tracing. Gotta get those fonts looking as crisp as possible.

[Anonymous No.23452280]

>>23452130
Same for me t.b.h. It usually hits mid afternoon, but before sunset I'm grateful to get half a page done. After a 9 p.m. shower and bowl of Cheerios I usually perk back up and churn it out.

[Anonymous No.23452324]

Hello, I'm currently 1/3rd through my novel and I'm doing some rewriting - mainly splitting up chapters of 5-6k words into multiple ones. I've found that doing so makes the transistion between scenes less awkward and improves the flow of the writing.

Anyway, here's an excerpt from the Prologue, I'd appreciate feedback of any kind. Please tell me if you cannot access the text.

https://medium.com/@panosfrag/leonards-speech-chapter-i-excerpt-83ca84d2ddf3

[Anonymous No.23452339]

Stephen king and Hunter S. Thompson were both producing their best work when they were doing blow.
Should I develop a coke habit for the sake of my writing?

[Anonymous No.23452342]

>>23452226
With the obsession of someone who's trying to cum while reading.

[Anonymous No.23452353]

>>23452339
No, soda is bad for your kidneys.

[Anonymous No.23452371]

>>23452353
that's just what Big Health™ wants you to think!

[Anonymous No.23452373]

How do I write incest?

[Anonymous No.23452378]

>>23452373
Good writing comes from having experienced the topic yourself firsthand.

[Anonymous No.23452387]

>>23452378 i suppose there's nothing for it, then

[Anonymous No.23452389]

>>23452373

[Anonymous No.23452398]

>>23452324
I would appreciate more scene setting. Floating voices giving speeches into the void is a Scifi/fantasy trope that I dislike.

Putting internal monologue thoughts in speech tags is confusing.

Otherwise it's rather tell-y in general. For example:
>and there was a joint gesture of head shaking in negation
The last two words (at least) aren't necessary. We know what shaking heads mean. It's probably not necessary either to tell us that shaking your head is a gesture.

[Anonymous No.23452436]

>>23452378
>>23452387
Since you seem to like Karen, I shall give you some topical advice.

[Anonymous No.23452444]

I wrote 391 words in the last hour. I'm spent. See you tomorrow /wg/.

[Anonymous No.23452450]

>>23452436
I wish I had a cute imouto

[Anonymous No.23452466]

>>23452436
But Araragi-kun, it's not about being in love with your sister. It's about hardcore toothbrush-fucking.

[Anonymous No.23452474]

>>23452450
>>23452466
A biological girlfriend might be possible though....

[Anonymous No.23452482]

>>23452474
I'd rather have an android girlfriend. That way she can be programmed to never leave me.

[Anonymous No.23452483]

>>23452474
Although the Fire Sisters are apparently not worth marrying, per Arararagi.

[Anonymous No.23452499]

>>23452339
There's nothing more pathetic than thinking drugs will tap into some creative part of your brain and make you better at art. They may make you more focused and more productive, but at the end of the day you're stuck with your pathetic vocabulary and insipid observations of humanity and still probably cant outline or plot a story.

[Anonymous No.23452503]

There's this old rich guy I'm friends with. I gave him a copy of the manuscript of my first novel and he told me that he could invest in my writing career if I needed. I'm not published. I don't see how money could help me in any way, but I can be wrong. Maybe by trying one of those vanity presses, marketing and then selling the book by myself - but otherwise I don't see how.

[Anonymous No.23452511]

>>23452499
Have you ever noticed that women's knees look very different to men's knees? You can often tell whether a person is a man or a woman just by looking at their knees. Try it next time you go outside!

[Anonymous No.23452530]

>>23452503
Good editors can be pretty expensive anon, and having an editor is always good. If you trad-bub, a clean manuscript will be more attractive to agents, and if you want to self-pub it's even more important.

[Anonymous No.23452703]

>>23452499
>but at the end of the day you're stuck with your pathetic vocabulary
Nothing a little thesaurus can't fix, dunderhead.

[Anonymous No.23452709]

>>23452503
Well never go with a vanity press for one, and two, look up a few posts to see that guy needing $2k to hire an editor. Then you got other expenses depending on if it's a developmental editor or a copy editor. Then you need someone to make your cover art. Then advertising costs a ton.

[Anonymous No.23452751]

I read a book that made me realize the argument against the overexcessive use of adverbs

[Anonymous No.23452756]

>>23452751
Which was? Share its secrets with us.

[Anonymous No.23452764]

>>23452398
I understand there's a lack of context in the excerpt I provided, it's meant to be the final third of the prologue chapter. Here's the rest: https://medium.com/@panosfrag/the-bravoes-44391d327a48

Keep in mind, the chapter I just provided will be Chapters 1-3, where the speech I posted was just added

[Anonymous No.23452773]

>>23452398
>Putting internal monologue thoughts in speech tags is confusing

I agree, which is why I generally use Italics when it comes to internal monologues or thoughts, and I completely forgot about it on Medium as I mostly use Word for writing.

[Anonymous No.23452783]

>>23452751
hehe
>>23452756
don't do it

[Anonymous No.23452789]

>>23452783
this post leads me to believe that it was my diary desu

[Anonymous No.23452799]

>>23452751
I like an adverb that stands out "through a glass darkly" style

[Anonymous No.23452815]

I like all adverbs. They are great. They greatly enhance my writing.

[Anonymous No.23452865]

>>23450080
>I'm just throwing ideas down in an outline
that's how i do it
>this scene is pretty chill
you risk putting the reader to sleep, at which point they'll drop your book & do something else with their time

[Anonymous No.23452881]

>>23452482
but she can be hacked to make her kill you

[Anonymous No.23452884]

>>23450080
>this scene is pretty chill with a guy coming home after a long time away and is relaxing at the park looking at kids playing ball and seeing birds and stuff.
this should be a few paragraphs, at most. maybe he runs into someone at the park and that springboard somewhere

[Anonymous No.23452889]

>>23450080
don't listen to the other anons
there's nothing wrong with putting the reader to sleep as long as they wake up later thinking about the book
that's the trick!

[Anonymous No.23452901]

>>23452881
>he wouldn't willingly die for his robowaifu
You don't even know what true love is.

[Anonymous No.23452942]

me becoming increasingly intimidated by how Tolkien describes the scale and distances of his world
me realizing that he's just describing the place he grew up in
me sinking into my seat as I think about the soulless world of highways and commercial aviation and sidewalks that I was born into

[Anonymous No.23452944]

>>23444930
>>23444945
what is this? source?

[Anonymous No.23452945]

>>23452942
Eh. You go places, on foot, from time to time.

[Anonymous No.23452953]

>>23452945
distances which I know can be crossed by the blink of an eye from an airplane window
nowhere over the hills behind my house has anywhere near the mystique that Bree has

[Anonymous No.23452961]

>>23452945
How would you even describe that without it sounding boring?
>trees covered every hill like ants on a melting Snickers bar, all the way to the horizon, where the foliage turned blue and melded with the sky

[Anonymous No.23452987]

>>23452953
I once went a few miles away, near there, but in the unseen river dale where the dinosaur statues are, and spent the day cajoling and having patter like we were long off from where we came as we we were. Such is it that he's a girl in act and deed now and we no longer speak for time and space has rendered us so. Thus is the distance between here and there. It were a chill spring day and my friend lent him her flannel to pass time at the lake, specular light from the blackness between us shimmering off the water.

>>23452961
Details.

[Anonymous No.23453021]

>>23452324
https://medium.com/@panosfrag/the-bravoes-44391d327a48

Here's the rest of the Prologue, if anyone cares to read it. It's a bit more polished and it stands at 1200 words.

[Anonymous No.23453026]

>>23449729
>Be me
>See that people bitch in /wg/ about nobody sharing their writing and it derailing into other topics
>Post writing
>Is ignored

[Anonymous No.23453043]

>>23452987
>Such is it that he's a girl in act and deed now
Excuse me what

[Anonymous No.23453057]

Should I just use Mon-Sun or make a different one? Even in Elder Scrolls, most of that fluff is ignored while you're playing and reading the books you find.

[Anonymous No.23453058]

>>23453043
You ever seen a dude you knew from highschool on craigslist m4t? Same tats but goes by another name you weren't aware of and the posting doesn't mention? Yeah, that.

[Anonymous No.23453090]

>>23453043
See, what I thought I'd do was read a bunch of books I've been putting off--some for over a decade--and make a fictionalized account of my life. I already have an outline of the story and it makes no goddamn sense, as a novel should. Still trying to make that time a fucked a furry sound interesting and palatable.

[Anonymous No.23453111]

is it bad that I've gotten so exhausted with the concept of an audience that I simply want to write the book, amazon it, and never acknowledge any readers after that? I have an insatiable need for the book to exist, but the concept of having to contend with anyone who reads it makes me unenthusiastic about the project these days. People reading it used to be my motivation, but in my long time of doing draft 1 over and over again I've changed somehow.

[Anonymous No.23453125]

>>23453111
I just told some cunt on r*ddit to kill himself because feedback from anyone who isn't on your level in some way is useless. Your audience is like 5 interested people as far as I'm concerned and the rest are retards who won't get it.

[Anonymous No.23453127]

i want to write in a dark box and publish my work through a sliding door where no one sees the hand that pushed it through

[Anonymous No.23453131]

>>23453125
what was he doing that got that kind of a response out of you? besides being in bed with reddit.

[Anonymous No.23453144]

>>23453125
isn't the 'you j-just don't get it!' response a tad dangerous?

[Anonymous No.23453155]

>>23453131
No idea but that's the exact kind of reader I want to choke on my dick until he turns blue because I have this feeling the only thing I'd get from that kind of vitriolic reply is someone saying "I don't really like the stylistic thing that drives the whole work because I can't understand it, also can you make the curtains in chapter 3 red instead of orange?"

[Anonymous No.23453170]

What is a good way to describe the sound of Tony Todd's voice? It's really unique sounding.

[Anonymous No.23453172]

>>23453170
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BXraF-x4JM

oh video for reference, he's done a lot of roles but this voice is what I had in mind

[Anonymous No.23453178]

I need more ways to describe screams. Or book recommendations where screams were described well. I've heartily realized in the last year that my love for writing is really just a love for writing suffering, so if you have any recommendations for things along those lines, I would be really grateful.

[Anonymous No.23453180]

>>23452945
>>23452961
>A blanket of green covered the hills for as far as one could see. The sky was a fuzzy blend of white clouds and blue calmness that bred laziness and serenity. Somewhere, so far off in the distance that it might as well have come from an entirely different planet, the sounds of a small town could be heard.

[Anonymous No.23453223]

>>23453111
I feel the same way when I make a youtube video

[Anonymous No.23453229]

>>23449729
Those are some really long sentences and a lot of jargon I have little to no context for
Me personally, I'd break up the sentences instead of continuing to rape the reader with fifty commas until their minds glaze over, but perhaps you desire the rambley style of writing and perhaps I am too tired to appreciate walls of text describing aristocratic lesbians, but as is I would probably not read this for fun and it felt more like an obligatory chore for an anonymous poster

[Anonymous No.23453252]

>>2345315
This redditor is a model vice of modern society. Despite the user himself admitting to you being right, the lack of cozy and emaciated words used to explain your point caused all kinds of anxiety issues and personal complexes to arise in him, turning your post into their innermost threat..

[Anonymous No.23453277]

>>23452942
there's nothing soulless about that, dillweed

[Anonymous No.23453279]

>>23453155
>u/ecoutasche
you sure don't get upvoted very often

[Anonymous No.23453285]

It's strange how my reason for doing this has changed over the course of my life.
>child me: I want to write because I want people to feel like I do when I read a good book.
>teen me: I want to write because I want people to make cool AMVs of my stuff.
>college me: I want to write so everyone knows I can write well.
>current me: I want to write to have told the story as best as I can.

[Anonymous No.23453300]

>>23453279
ESLs slide off the average /lit/post, probably doesn't help that I only post when I'm drunk or on the toilet at work.

[Anonymous No.23453304]

Abandoned. My children, my wife, my mother, my brother and sister--people whom I hold dear and who depended on me--have been abandoned by me, AGAINST MY WILL.

Thoughts on this little excerpt? This is Isekai btw.
Contrary to any common sense, I got summoned to another world to fight in some war for the sake of complete strangers.
They could not pick another, they said, as I was the best candidate. They cannot take me back. I must fight the hordes. I must save them. Poor little them. So they said.
My children might be starving right now; my wife, forced to whore herself; my mother, dying; my siblings, worked like slaves--but I must let them suffer like this, for the sake of royal faggots who could not be bothered to fight their own wars.
I will kill them. I will slaughter them. I will murder every single one of them.
I must enact my vengeance to quell this anger--but I am much too weak right now.
That is why I am trudging on my lonesome through this forest teeming with monsters, barely containing these emotions, seeking power to destroy my enemies and go back home.
I will go back home.

[Anonymous No.23453307]

>>23453305
>>23453305
>>23453305

[Anonymous No.23453375]

>>23451775
It's actually not the names of individual things that stumped me but the general title for the objects. You mentioned a sword. To try and use your example as an analogy, I'm talking less about "a cursed celtic sword", and more "sword".