/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.23351061]

Post your novel idea. It's not like their going anywhere.

[Anonymous No.23351082]

>>23351061
A man is gay in 1925 Missouri. He's taking a shit at a diner when the county sheriff walks in. He starts questioning him about if he's gay while he's shitting in the stall. "We been hearing some rumors about you, boy, some very un-Christian rumors. We don't take kindly to that round these parts. You got something to tell me, sugar boy?" The man tells the sheriff that talking to another man while he's got his cock out shitting is pretty gay in and of itself. The sheriff realizes he's right. He starts telling him that if he tells anybody about this, he'll frame him, he'll ruin his fucking life. The shitting man tells the sheriff that he's already living in Hell and doesn't care. The sheriff asks what his angle is, what he wants to keep quiet, since this could ruin him in this here town. The shitting man says the only way he'll keep quiet is if the sheriff man's up, opens the stall door, comes in and sucks his cock. The sheriff pulls out his pistol, aims it at his temple and blows his brains out. The diner staff burst through the door, and call the police. The shitting man is brought in for questioning and explains the situation. He is arrested for murder, and an article runs in the county paper, explaining how both the sheriff and the shitting man were gay, and this was a homicide due to a lovers quarrel. The sheriff is forever remembered as a gay man who got killed by his lover while sucking him off during a shit. The story ends with a black man reading this in the paper chuckling to himself at the train station. The black man is arrested for laughing while black, a capital offense.

[Anonymous No.23351084]

>>23351061
what is that thing? i hate it.

[Anonymous No.23351087]

>>23351084
That's a golden retriever

[Anonymous No.23351089]

A young psychologist is assigned during the beginning of de-institutionalization is assigned to interview patients and determine if they should be released, and if so what level of support they require. He interviews a woman that seems entirely capable of taking care of herself and is indeed charming. He advises the she be released and she is. Set free, she immediately kills herself. As his professional judgment is called into question and the asylums continue to release inmates, plot ensues while he is haunted by her memory.

[Anonymous No.23351098]

>>23351089
I like it

[Anonymous No.23351110]

A woman in her 20s grew up with her single mother. She doesn't remember any memory of her father and is taught to hate him growing up. Her parents divorced when she was 7. She always found resonance with her University Professor, a divorced man in his 50s, and used to share about everything with him. One day she discovers an VHS tape cassette in her room which must be atleast two decades old. With the help of her friend, she is able to convert the tapes to a modern format and begins watching the clips in it. It was a set of clips captured on a handheld by her on a vacation when she was 6. She is shocked to discover that the university professor was her father and that they had pleasant memories together. Suddenly her hate for her father vanishes and plot continues as she encounters her professor with this new-found knowledge.

[Anonymous No.23351114]

>>23351110
This would work but only if they have sex.

[Anonymous No.23351128]

>>23351061
you're they're

[Anonymous No.23351130]

>>23351061
fuckhuge tome modeled after the greek epic cycle but it's about some fucking loser guy living in the modern day surrounded by a cast of other plausible characters of the sort you meet in ordinary american life. interspersed with parodies of other classical works like shakespeare, milton etc etc. mostly just a parody of ulysses because i think it would be funny to adapt ancient greek poetry to even dumber, more boring minutia than ulysses already did. also a cover for the fact that i simply just don't have the technical skill to write a concise, dialed in, fully original story, so maybe it'll go better if i just let myself go kinda crazy and write something willfully stupid and pretentious.

[Anonymous No.23351141]

>>23351114
You’ve got the right idea.

[Anonymous No.23351183]

>>23351061
I have a better chance than most to get published, so I'll explain one small part of my novel

Right now, I'm finishing a lengthy section of my novel that's about a post-modernist literary theorizer in the far future who has dementia and deep down knows he's planning to kill himself.

He planned on writing one more paper of literary theorizing for a writer he's most known for writing about (like Bloom and Shakespeare). His plan was to then retire and write fiction for the first time in his 60s. This dream got delayed way too late in life, so now that his mind is rotting away in his 80's, he mixes his dream of writing literary fiction and the idea of his last theory paper, into a 3 part mess, that's both tragic and hilarious. His paper writing gets weirder and more nonsensical as it goes on. Eventually, he remembers he has dementia and kills himself before he writes a conclusion, finalizing his thoughts.

It then flashes back to him his 60s. He talks to his editor about retiring, and it ends with him poorly grading three papers from students in his class talking about how post-modernism is finally going to be replaced after it's been the dominant literary style for around 150 years.

This is mostly a self-contained story that, at first, vaguely connects with everything else going. But, it's really foreshadowing events for the 3 main characters, and it deals with the central theme, which is what is over-thinking and trying to frame nonsense ideas as rational does to an individual

[Anonymous No.23351188]

>>23351061
This exact thread is already on the catalogue, verbatim. These are being made by a nefarious entity trying to steal creative ideas form the most fertile literary club of the 21st century. don't tell Them shit.

[Anonymous No.23351199]

>>23351188
>it's not just a lazy anon who didn't check the catalog
Aright, man. Not that I like the repeats. There are two poetry threads up too.

[Anonymous No.23351207]

>>23351084
Your mom

[Anonymous No.23351212]

>>23351199
nice try, fucker.

[Anonymous No.23351235]

>>23351188
that thread isn't legit, wrong animal in the OP pic

[Anonymous No.23351251]

>>23351082
Truly kafkaesque

[Anonymous No.23351284]

>>23351082
haha

[Anonymous No.23351289]

>>23351251
Thanks. I call it The Revelation of Hell through the Shitting Man and the Faggot in Disguise.

[Anonymous No.23352183]

>>23351084
>>23351061
pigge or pige depending on who you ask

[Anonymous No.23352197]

>>23351061
A bronze age fantasy novel featuring a cute brown princess from a destroyed kingdom and an Egyptian chad peasant boy as they try to stop the Sea People during the Bronze Age Collapse by going around the various historical kingdoms of the era trying to solve problems and mysteries behind the end times. It would be cool to have some fantasy elements in the mix, fantasy races, and some kind of secret order of god like beings with advance technology of the past. Boring shit to be honest but you don't see a lot of fantasy that takes place in the bronze age.

[Anonymous No.23352203]

>>23351130
Clerks did it

[Anonymous No.23352208]

>>23351061
Two edgelords get into witchcraft and undergo a male right of passage that modernity has lost while exploring what transgression means and how normative society creates monsters through abjection.

[Anonymous No.23352356]

>>23351082
I enjoyed this, well done

[Anonymous No.23352367]

Every idea posted in this thread is about sex/shit/gay/female/fuck

No wonder Western literature is dying.

[Anonymous No.23352370]

>>23351061
Science fiction. Imagine that you could see and hear and so-forth in "being there" detail anything that took place on Earth during the last 160.000 years, courtesy of benign and stupendously rich alien invaders who casually record and archive everything within their slowly expanding sphere of influence, and have no sense of or feeling for privacy whatsoever. What would you do? What would anyone in particular do? As ideas go, it's the most novel I've had, but so far the best I've made of it are fantasy sequences that are either illegal to publish or so wildly scenic there's no use for any of it in the commercial sense.

[Anonymous No.23352389]

>>23352367
As if there ever was such a thing as Eastern literature.

[Anonymous No.23352397]

>>23351061
I've got a few, but I finished the first draft of this one back in March:

Two 20-something wizards (in a high-ish fantasy world) are struggling to find employment, but get themselves caught up in an expedition to chart out the unsettled wildlands to the west. There they have to contend with various magical and mundane threats, including the remnants of an ancient civilization, as well as the ones responsible for its destruction...

>>23351188
Ideas are a dime a dozen.

[Anonymous No.23352418]

>>23352397
>Ideas are a dime a dozen.
Anything but, if it is one.

[Anonymous No.23352682]

>>23351082
Open defecation would've prevented this?

[Anonymous No.23352698]

>>23351061
You people are fucking retards posting your manuscripts. Agents can google this shit and it'll show up on a 4chan archive lmao.

[Anonymous No.23352718]

>>23352698
And...

[Anonymous No.23352728]

>>23351084
A liger

[Anonymous No.23352749]

>>23352698
>Post your novel IDEA

Nobody has posted a manuscript ITT.

[Anonymouṡ No.23352753]

>>23351061
>novel
Naaa


SCI-FI SHORT STORY
COMEDY-HORROR (PHILIP K. DICK MEETS ROALD DAHL)

It’s the near future.

SimStim exists.

For those who haven’t read Neuromancer — you can implant a chip in someone which lets you ‘ride along’, sharing all their sensations, like a VR livestream. The chip can signal to wireless internet. Anyone online can access it.

Protagonist is a surgeon working in Hollywood.

One of his clients is the husband of a top actress.

The protagonist is obsessed with this actress.

The husband books a little minor surgery.

Protagonist forms a cunning plan.

While the guy is under the anaesthetic, he implants a SimStim chip. (It’s undetectable.)

Now he can experience having sex with this hot actress!

He isn’t going to sell BabeTime to his friends or anything like that. He just wants her for himself.

That evening he goes home and plugs into the feed . . .

Provisional ending:

The couple actually have a femdom relationship and the husband is the one who gets penetrated.

Many other possibilities though:

Husband is actually homosexual & the marriage is a sham / Husband is actually screwing the surgeon's daughter / Husband & actress are both members of an evil sex cult / etc

Depends where you want to go on the comedy-horror spectrum.

[Anonymous No.23352768]

>>23351061
A worker dies on an oil rig. The rig's company man is ordered to smooth things over with regulatory authorities to avoid the bad press any workplace safety violation charges would cause. As he looks deeper into the accident, however, he starts to suspect that it might not have been accidental at all.

[Anonymous No.23352806]

>>23352768
Colten Dean, is that you?
How are you ever going to finish a novel while working 100 hours a week mud engineering?

[Anonymous No.23352964]

>>23352370
>illegal to publish
What?

[Anonymous No.23353292]

>>23351089
Best one of both threads

[Anonymous No.23353342]

>>23351061
I'm kind of just messing around with a burgerpunk story which devolves into more experimental type fiction and I can't even decide on how to word the opening line in a way which best sets the tone. I kind of want to post my options but I'm hesitant now especially after being reminded by someone ITT that it can all be stumbled upon in an archive regardless of how garbage it is.

I won't post the line in its entirety but just a word/phrase I'm hung up on.
"Franchises", "franchise shit', "franchise joints", "franchise places"? I can't choose between these options.

[Anonymous No.23354150]

>>23352397
Are you that Improvidence guy?

[Anonymous No.23354152]

>>23351183
I rike it. Title and publisher?

[Anonymous No.23354180]

>>23351183
I'm glad you enjoy the premise, it means a lot.

I don't have a publisher, just a lot of personal connections to have a real a shot in joining the industry.

I can't tell you the title since I don't want to jeopardize my chance of getting published. The best I can do is a puzzle. A popular anime girl character and a popular form of architecture that isn't a building

[Anonymous No.23354181]

>>23354180
meant for >>23354152

[Anonymous No.23354187]

'noble' lies?; a schizo sci fi story set in the near future; the fragrant bussy of 'science' fertilized by thee murdercock of late stage capitalism produced many bastard children. the most holey of which became known as thee climate church. which was revealed as a death cult using a secular version of original sin to encourage the meat puppets to dance; carbon based organisms constantly exhaling co2, killing the planet just threw being alive. the solution? come too christ; take one for the team; die for hour sins; become christ by emulating christ; mass suicides ensue; billions released from the meat prison into eternal paradise; planet is saved; everyone wins; yay. cover is tear stained gretas face over christ on the cross.

[Anonymous No.23354210]

>>23351061
idk probably gonna do a miami detective novel with zombies and ninjas

[Anonymous No.23354274]

>>23354180
>>23354181
I see....
Haruhi Grotesque
I will be awaiting your release.

[Anonymous No.23354658]

>>23351082
this sounds like something you stole from cumtown

[Anonymous No.23354669]

>>23354658
Or I'm just funny on my own

[Anonymous No.23354681]

>>23354669
i didn't mean it like that. it is funny and you probably are funny and i'm sorry

[Anonymous No.23354711]

>>23354187
Do you have more of this?

[Anonymous No.23354721]

>>23354681
You're good. I just have a chip on my shoulder sometimes. If anything, I'm sorry. Thanks for the compliment.

[Anonymous No.23354731]

I've had the idea about a time travel insurance agent but yeah that's not going anywhere. I've wanted to write about a PR guy forever or an organized crime lawyer on retainer but I'm too retarded and all my friends were art or psych majors.

[Anonymous No.23354740]

>>23351061
I don't even know how to explain it but it's basically a satirical memoir of a man who's from another country who came to the U.S. to artificially create a revolution so that his country gets better by proxy. That's grossly simplifying it but yeah

[Anonymous No.23354745]

>>23352698
>manuscripts
>ideas
I know reading's hard, anon, but geez...

[Anonymous No.23354753]

>>23351061
Twin peaks but in rural Utah. Its to facilitate me making an occult holy book and religion based thelema and dianetics

[Anonymous No.23354823]

>>23351089
>>23352370
>>23354740
>>23354753
Best ideas in the thread

[Anonymous No.23355906]

>>23352367
that's all basement dwellers think of. and then they wonder why their "writing" fails to gain any traction out in the real world

[Anonymous No.23355919]

>>23354187
>kys to prevent co2 emissions
isn't that just mainstream modern leftism?

[Anonymous No.23355972]

>>23351084
so you're too dumb to use Google's search-by-image? It's a South American tapir.

[Anonymous No.23356233]

>>23354740
Best in thread, I'd read this one.

[Anonymous No.23356247]

>>23351061
1700s alchemist discovers eternal life and lives in current year.

[Anonymous No.23356259]

Okay so the story is called The House of Thunder. and deals with three generations of the same family, a grandmother living in a small apartment in the city center of a small, dying down, yearning for the days she spent in the old country house is the one who demands her daughter and her daughter's family take her there.
The daughter is married to a man with very little pragmatic skills and no driver's license, but he is a good father to their two kids, a teenage daughter who is upset at being torn from her tumultuous relationship with her crush of the week, and their young son who is not yet of school age.
Living in the old house is also the grandmother's son, a certified bachelor who may or may not have mental health issues and who may or may not have committed acts of bestiality, nobody can prove anything but rumors abound.
There's a thunderstorm, obviously.

[Master Geku No.23356271]

>>23356259

[Anonymous No.23356274]

>>23356271
I have absolutely no idea what you're even trying to say here, nothing in my story is talking about Jews

[Anonymous No.23356278]

Two Germans get drafted in WW2. One gets stationed in Norway the other goes first to France and later to the SU.
Initially the Norway guy is frustrated because he dreams of glory and the local population doesn't care for his Herrenmenschen larp but later he finds solace in the simple life he encounters.
The French guy lives it up with frenchie sluts and ukrainian girls but later experiences the hell of the eastern front.

[Anonymous No.23356508]

>>23354740
So, Obama's biography?

[Anonymous No.23356650]

A futuristic dystopian story in which 95% of the population is a morbidly obese mulatto. The other 5%, the ruling class, are transhumanists who have uploaded their minds in the kind of bodies you see in Deviantart OCs (picture related). The obese caste work menial jobs so they can buy massively overpriced batteries for their mobility scooters and their robot spouses. Humans don't have sex with each other anymore and the mere idea of reproducing sexually is repulsive because not only do all unmodified humans look disgusting, natural babies are significantly shittier than genetically modified babies grown in labs.

Feel free to steal this idea, I'm not actually an author.

[Anonymous No.23356818]

>>23354753
What makes it like twin peaks

[Anonymous No.23356840]

>>23351061
a novel about how Dante wrote the Divine Comedy, but his life mimics that of Chris Chan, where the angels (akin to youtube trolls) make him do stupid shit like approach the girl that he loves and sperg out in front of her in the name of God and going to heaven and shit like that. the angels just torment him and the entire town makes fun of him as he writes his final manuscript where he sends all those who make fun of him to hell.
im way too fucking depressed to write anything anyway.

[Anonymous No.23356862]

A dude gets jailed for a crime he didn't commit, or maybe he did. He doesn't remember.
Through his sentence, the prison provides OptiVision Pros to well behaved inmates, which are basically VR goggles they use to cope with their cold cells.
He sees landscapes that no longer exist, for they were destroyed in a war.

[Anonymous No.23356871]

>>23354823
Fuck you

[Anonymous No.23356872]

>>23351084
It's a walking penis

[Anonymous No.23356894]

I'd like to write an absurdist piece on the french revolution where the characters are inanimate objects(chairs,candlesticks,clocks etc) at Versaille palace and observe history unfold while making snarky commentary about their role after the revolution and fear of being replaced by new objects. After Napoleon gets exiled, all the objects conspire to kill Talleyrand and Sieyes. The novel ends with the objects complaining about the role of books in the revolution. "We really should burn them all" says the candlestick.
What would be an appropriate title for this?

[Anonymous No.23356923]

>>23354187
manchild millenialcore prose

[Anonymous No.23356939]

A pidgeon is flying over the ocean when his wings break mid-flight and is forced to do an emergency landing on a lonely whale. The whale doesn't notice the pidgeon is on top of her and keeps on going in her quest to find compianonship. The pidgeon observes the struggles while waiting for the day he will be able to fly again

[Anonymous No.23356946]

>>23351061
Current word count. I am not even closed to being done though.

A massive capital deals with the influx of millions of climate refugees pooling in from the south. Alongside this, a mysterious conglomerate-faith makes a faustian deal with an up and coming cult leader who sacrifices her flesh, becoming a machine, in order to secure the prestige and funds to house shelters for the millions of disenfranchised refugee children, in exchange for the souls of the children she saves which slowly heal their living god, an etiolated ballet dancer. Meanwhile, a schizophrenic mercenary, in an attempt to understand the origin of a mysterious guiding voice within her called "her comforting light" seeks the companionship of a bartender who wants to make a militia of clones in her image that run on a psychedelic IPA cpu-cooling system using hop spores grown in the blood of a race of cosmic beings.

This is only a very small taste of the major plot, like maybe 5% of it, which is too complex and big to be shared here. There are roughly 300 main POV characters and hundreds of smaller ones.

[Anonymous No.23356958]

>>23351061
Not a novel idea but a long poem idea I had after reading "The Eidolon" by H P Lovecraft. The poem would be called "The Colors of the Mountain" as a play on Everest's Rainbow Valley being so called because of the many colors of gear found on the bodies that pile up there. The poem would outline in verse 7 death bed events, the final of which would be one about a mountaineer that looses his gear past the point of returning alive, so he decides to finish the trek and die on the summit. There will be an 8th poem to cap off the whole thing that outlines the birth of a new person to loving yet fearful parents. It all came from the eidolon being called life and turning out to be a mountain, the play on rainbow valley, some symbolic play with the seven colors of the rainbow and the seven spheres plus the eighth sphere of the whole cosmos and life generally just being an unknown, unprepared for journey we all must go on with the summit being our inevitable death.

[Anonymous No.23357174]

>>23356840
kek

[Anonymous No.23357200]

A simple romantasy where a teenage girl makes a deal with a demon for beauty and grace, and her pussy makes him fall in love with her.

[Anonymous No.23357218]

A janny in a skull island volcano fortress does janny things and laughs maniacally about how evil he is. It ends with a brave squad of shitposters dropping 80.000 tons of shit on the janny from a bomber fleet.

[Anonymous No.23357278]

I don't have novel ideas, they're all just Raymond Chandler / The Big Lebowski type bullshit where the sleazy protagonists wander from setpiece to setpiece and random crap happens and I don't know how to wrap it up.

[Anonymous No.23357770]

>>23357278
then make it a serial webnovel and never wrap it up

[Anonymous No.23357776]

>>23354711
no, maybe like >>23356923 suggests, it's a bit edgy. Mostly I prefer doing wordplay, myth, general stoner nonsense that doesn't try to intersect with the 'real' world much at all.

[Anonymous No.23357853]

>>23357770
Yeah but I'm a faggot who uses a typewriter so I'd either have to switch to a computer like a normal person or scan it in

[Anonymous No.23357860]

>>23351110
And also the Slender Man is in the tapes and starts haunting her in real life

[Anonymous No.23357865]

>>23352197
Sounds like early Hayao Miyazaki kinda, I'm into it

[Anonymous No.23358457]

>>23356894
>Toy Story 5

maybe
>The Block
it could be a triple entendre; it refers to the chopping block (guillotine), the inanimate nature of the characters (building blocks i guess??), and perhaps the setting of the book is contained within a single city block. it's not very clever in retrospect.