/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.23285914]

"Poo world" edition

Previous: >>23275770

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHmuqSGgpd0

[Anonymous No.23285928]

how do I disentangle myself from a literary quagmire I've been stuck in for the past 6 years? My life would be so much better off if I found something else to write that I was excited about, but every attempt to finish or abandon it has failed

[Anonymous No.23285960]

>>23285928
I don’t know, but maybe try writing a short story, even using a prompt or something if you have to, just to get something else under your belt. if you finish one, then try another short story, and keep doing that until you feel ready to start a different novel than the one you’ve been stuck on.

[Anonymous No.23286021]

>>23285914
You already used this unfunny image for an OP post. God I hate AI faggots

[Anonymous No.23286153]

Some dialogue
>You're in a bar that has this many liquors and you're drinking a Dr. Pepper. I took you for someone who'd nurse something harder than that.
>I just don't like anything that tastes like vomit, can you blame me? Also, who the hell are you.
>Just someone who's interested. Saw your match against that guy a couple of hours ago. Wasn't he called something like the "Flowing Mountain?" Kind of a stupid name if you ask me
>Get to the point, I'm tired
>I have a few questions I'd like to ask you.
>Fine, I've got time to kill.
>Wonderful. Firstly, what kind of style do you use?
>Started out as Muay Thai, transitioned to some crap I came up with when I saw the Vitruvian Man. Thought "Hey, there's an entire radius my limbs extend to, I can just hit people there." Why are you asking me anyways?
>Fuck if I know, I just wanted to write down all of the styles of people here
I'm nearly asleep

[Anonymous No.23286167]

>Wrote 19k words in 3 days
The lack of attention only makes me stronger

[Anonymous No.23286226]

Why won't this turd die?

[Anonymous No.23286316]

>>23286226
i got a turd for u buddy

[Anonymous No.23286321]

>>23286167
But are they good words? Too many times have I cranked out a large volume of text and then on review I cut away 90% for being trash.

[Anonymous No.23286487]

>>23286153
I don't envy your task, because it's impossible to write 'tough guy badass' dialogue without it being a little cringe. Frankly it reads like video-game writing, which to my taste is never a good thing.

[Anonymous No.23286742]

>>23285914
Are these two paragraphs too boring?
They are supposed to serve multiple purposes:
>metaphor for the state of things
>indicate protagonist's state of mind
>reveal location info
>build atmosphere

[Anonymous No.23286759]

>>23286742
yes

[Anonymous No.23286762]

>it's another "gotta write the middle part inbetween two major plot developments" episode

[Anonymous No.23286763]

>>23286742
does the character not like his father?

[Anonymous No.23286786]

>>23286763
He has mixed feelings.
He used to admire his father, but without explaining, he sent to him garrison this backwater fort and stopped answering his letters. Over two years, he began to resentment towards him.

>>23286759
how would you make it more interesting?

[Anonymous No.23286834]

>>23286742
It's interesting to me. I especially liked the whole sequence running from the stalled construction to the charms of the village girls. It has that nice flow between ideas and that engaging sense of little twists and turns that all good prose should have, with each sentence introducing a new layer of complication to the previous one. I didn't get much sense of the protagonist's state of mind from any of this, though.

I suggest cutting 'embraced' from the second paragraph. It feels try-hard and a simple 'covered' would communicate the image the more clearly. I would also cut 'In this masterpiece' - the sarcasm feels out of place for the narrative voice.

Also, if I were writing this, I would clarify the link between
>It ought to become the new core of the stronghold.
and
>The rest of the fortress was composed of rapidly rotting planks.
The chain of thought connecting the two isn't obvious.

[Anonymous No.23286920]

>>23286834
Positive feedback, that's a surprise. Glad someone find's interesting, I'm completely blind here, far as I'm concerned this whole stuff might be boring.
Dunno, personally I find politics, the human state and social relationships interesting.
Made the adjustments.

>I didn't get much sense of the protagonist's state of mind from any of this, though.
Perhaps it's better to place them elsewhere, adding more into these paragraphs would break the pace.

[Anonymous No.23286929]

>>23286321
NTA, but I feel that. I once wrote about 7k words in one night while drunk, but I cut 5k of it in the end because I didn't like where it was leading the story.

[Anonymous No.23286975]

After how long should you give up writing?

[Anonymous No.23286993]

>>23286975
You should never give up
As they say time in the market beats timing the market
The only thing that never fails is perseverance

[Anonymous No.23286997]

>>23286993
Work beats talent when talent fails to work

[Anonymous No.23287030]

>>23286021
That post met an untimely death. And AI keeps getting better and better, while you stay stuck in the same place. Soon AI will eclipse your abilities, and you'll never be able to catch up. Talk about an untimely death.

[Anonymous No.23287077]

The book I'm writing is split into parts and at the end of each section there is an epilogue. But naming the chapter 'epilogue' seems odd to me mid-way through the book. Is there a different name for such a thing or should I just call them part 1: epilogue, part 2: epilogue, etc?

[Anonymous No.23287083]

>>23287077
Interlude. I don't know if pointing it out as something different serves much purpose unless it's markedly different or serves some purpose.

[Anonymous No.23287102]

>>23287083
>unless it's markedly different or serves some purpose.
yes to both

> Interlude
hmm, still doesn't seem right to me. will consider some more.

[Anonymous No.23287104]

I'm toying with the idea of a story narrated by a dead person.I want to retell the events that lead to his death. this is the first part.

Any thoughts, stylistically? Do you want to keep reading?

[Anonymous No.23287108]

>>23287102
Coda would also fit, as it doesn't imply that it's the end of a work, only of a movement within it.

[Anonymous No.23287109]

>>23287030
At least AI can never match your faggotry. Every day, you find new heights of autism nobody else can imitate. They could feed your whole life to machine learning algorithms and the results would be cute compared to what an asshole you are in reality.

[Anonymous No.23287110]

https://pastebin.com/h9NAmtAq

I made a thread last night because there was no WG. Am I delusional to think that this short story is worth being submitted to some local lit magazines?
What do I need to do, to make it worthy?

[Anonymous No.23287133]

>>23287108
Thought that was just another word for epilogue, but yes, it maybe does sound better.

[Anonymous No.23287134]

>>23287109
you know absolutely nothing about me

[Anonymous No.23287404]

>>23287077
Don't call them anything. Just put the usual "* * *" centered on the page and then write the epilogue.

[Anonymous No.23287457]

>>23287404
Not a bad idea. Thanks. It'll make for some damn long chapters though.

[Anonymous No.23287481]

>>23285914
>"The Sun birthed another day."
Is this too pretentious? I guess I just want to catch the reader's attention with the first line.

[Anonymous No.23287486]

>>23287481
It's technically the opposite innit

[Anonymous No.23287543]

>>23287481
It's a little pretentious but depends on the tone of your story. Does it fit or not?

[Anonymous No.23287606]

I write mostly erotica. I've been thinking of branching out, but writing other stuff (even for-fun genre, not even serious stuff) feels boring compared to sex scenes & the preceding build-up.
Not sure why I'm blog posting. Anyone else feel like this?

[Anonymous No.23287631]

>>23287606
I mean, that's hardly limited to writing. Most people do something to get paid, then something else for fun or they enjoy.

[Anonymous No.23287697]

How can I make this read more "professional"? Apparently, it reads "amateurish".

[Anonymous No.23287734]

>>23287697
Why so many parentheses? That's one mark of being an amateur. I'm sure it's an "intentional choice" by your part, but nonetheless spamming parantheses doesn't feel professional.
obvious spelling errors, like 'momoments'
capitalizing 'the' to emphasize it is also amateurish, use italics (seriously, have you read a book? I don't think I've ever seen someone EMPHASIZE a word like that)
Also there's just the inexplainable lack of expertise in the prose itself. It's not the worst excerpt I've seen posted here (it flows mostly well, at least) but it also definitely didn't seem like it was written by a professional. Earning mastery with prose comes over years of study and practice, so it's not something we can just point out and say "this is how" (probably no one in this thread could claim anything approaching mastery, anyway)

[Anonymous No.23287871]

>>23287734
Honestly I really hate the stigma around parenthesis.
I feel like people look down on parenthesis for no good or practical reason.
Because parenthesis are actually very practical and probably the most useful symbol of them all for organization which is why they're used constantly in math.
Commas barely do anything and people love them parenthesis do it all and everybody hates them. Where's the justice in the world

[Anonymous No.23287873]

>>23287030
>AI worship
Get a load of this faggot

[Anonymous No.23287880]

>>23287871
Math isn't writing. Parenthesis serve no purposes in translating the written word to your internal voice.
If I, write like, this, you instinctively, read, my, post, as very, annoying.
If I write like this (you barely pause (and it gets more and (more difficult))to track)

[Anonymous No.23287894]

>>23287104
It's alright, not bad which is good. I'd say the reveal that the narrator is dead needs more impact

[Anonymous No.23288017]

I think I am accidentally writing a gay book
>The main character and the second most important protagonist spend much of their times together
>Both are adults, age gap is ten years at best
>Both are unmarried and not seeing anyone in particular
>Both start the story not liking each other very much but end it as best bros having shared some of their deepest secrets with each other
How do I fix this? I just want a wholesome male friendship. Maybe I need them to beat the shit out of each other at some point.

[Anonymous No.23288066]

>>23288017
>friends equals faggotry
you're writing it, so that kind of projection is entirely on you
what is the plot of the book that causes them to spend so much time with each other? male friendships are forged while they're trying to achieve some shared goal
>having shared some of their deepest secrets with each other
well if they're giggling like girls while doing so that would be you pushing faggotry. if they're both stuck out in the wilderness, tired and hungry and making dinner out of some fish they caught over an open fire and they get to talking, that's another
the easy solution would be to have one or both talk about their exes at some point

[Anonymous No.23288186]

>>23288017
>accidentally

uh huh, sure

[Anonymous No.23288203]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55132378

New story. Written by me. Summary:
"A Poison Ivy-pastiche finds a message that's not in a bottle."
Let me know what you think.

[Anonymous No.23288240]

>>23288203
>A Poison Ivy-pastiche finds a message that's not in a bottle
this tells me nothing. poison ivy like the batman villain?

[Anonymous No.23288307]

>>23288017
it’s either not there and you’re imagining it because of your own insecurity, or it is there because of your closeted gay status. we can’t really know which. but male friendship is based.

[Anonymous No.23288349]

>>23288240
You're not amused by my needlessly enigmatic summary? I guess I could change it to
"An eco-terrorist supervillain finds a message that's not in a bottle."

Now it's 25% less confusing.

[Anonymous No.23288376]

What do you think of spamming scenes like in The Shining where King writes "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" or in My Struggle when Knausgaard writes"Cunt" over and over again after Fosse tears his writing apart a good way to show insanity or frustration or is it just there to pad out the book?

[Anonymous No.23288403]

>>23288349
so, to be clear, it's fanfiction, correct?

[Anonymous No.23288406]

>>23288376
adding at most a single, additional extra page of writing hardly constitutes padding out a book

[Anonymous No.23288471]

Do you people have a discord?

[Anonymous No.23288486]

>>23288471
nice try, groomer

[Anonymous No.23288629]

For my current writing project, i am trying to do some reading (both fiction and nonfiction/philosopht) on the nature of dreams. I know it's a hefty issue that people have written about for centuries, but still. Do you know any good reading material for that?
I am trying to somehow depict and think on what a dream is, where it comes from and where it leads to, the power of dream magic, the inner world and such things.
Theway I am writing my fantasy is that individual dreams are nothing more than impressions of the wider dream world in which all minds canlfow together, not just a singular,separate thing.

[Anonymous No.23288634]

>>23287734
>Also there's just the inexplainable lack of expertise in the prose itself. It's not the worst excerpt I've seen posted here (it flows mostly well, at least) but it also definitely didn't seem like it was written by a professional.
What exactly is wrong with it? Not arguing with you, just trying to figure out how I can improve and what direction to pursue.

[Anonymous No.23288635]

>>23287873
Worship? Major projection. I literally work on AI systems as part of my job.

[Anonymous No.23288644]

>>23285914
I have been around a few writing communities, and people in most communities are really spineless in that you can't say anything remotely negative because it "discourages the author".
I just don't think anyone can grow from baby critique. Beta-reader readers are generally much nicer than public readers, so if the author can't even cope with their beta-reader feedback, the public critics are going to tear them apart.
That's why I like /wg/, people do not hold punches. If a work posted here doesn't get torn to bits, it's probably at least decent.

I do hope people here would trade more, I guess I'm guilty of that as well, but I will start trading, but I'm not reading pastebin.

[Anonymous No.23288648]

>>23288017
Maybe reading books featuring close male relationships might help. "Moby Dick" and "Brideshead Revisited' come to mind.

[Anonymous No.23288671]

>>23288644
>I just don't think anyone can grow from baby critique.
I agree, but most beginners don't need harsh critique. They're at a stage of development where they simply need to read and write more and engage with the craft in any capacity. In that sense they're like children, and you don't give 'harsh critique' to children to make them improve at art, you say "oh wow that's awesome!" and then, happy, they draw more, get better, and maybe after many years of practice they double down and decide they want to take things seriously. That's when they start asking for 'real critiques'.
Most novices need encouragement much more than they need harsh advice. Their writing is so shit that they can figure out most of the issues on their own. Only intermediates+ actually need advice.
At least how I see it desu

[Anonymous No.23288679]

>>23288403
Well, not really. But the main character is a pastiche of Poison Ivy in the same way that Captain Mantra from Superfolks is a pastiche of Captain Marvel, or whatever.

[Anonymous No.23288686]

>>23288644
You're a retard if you think /wg/-crabs offer anything even remotely close to useful critique. All the arguments for "brutally honest critique" are retarded and are a thinly veiled excuse for achieving catharsis at the author's expense. If you actually gave a shit about the author, more importantly, if you actually gave a shit about writing, and the craft of writing, you'd realize that there is absolutely no point in critiquing in a way that would result in the author not even considering your advice. You have just wasted everyone's time, including your own--except of course if you only did it for the sake of your own catharsis, which of course you did, because you don't care about writing, you definitely don't care about the author, and you don't have the emotional maturity to suspend your ego for the ten minutes necessary to put yourself in the author's shoes and write something they might actually read and find useful.

Read this: https://www.critters.org/c/whathow.ht (but you won't, of course, instead you or some other faggot will respond with a one line shitpost about how I'm seething and coping because somebody must have given me a harsh critique. Wrong. I was in the "brutally honest" school until I realized just how retarded and what a waste of time it actually is).

[Anonymous No.23288689]

>>23288635
>why yes, I have drank the kool aid
thanks for the confirmation

[Anonymous No.23288703]

>>23288686
Anyone aware of educational research in any way already knows that it's been long proven that humans respond (and grow) much better from kind and encouraging advice than 'harsh and brutal advice'. Even the military employs the "sandwich" technique (or whatever it's called) where you open with something good, give the real advice politely, then close with something good.
Being an asshole is inferior for helping someone, as much as people like to glorify the need to "toughen up" and "take brutal advice."
I guess the exception is when someone is being a turbo pansy and needs a reality check, but let's not be pedantic and address the vast majority of situations, in which case what I said holds true

[Anonymous No.23288713]

>>23287030
call me when ai has a soul you goofy faggot

[Anonymous No.23288715]

>>23288686
so, like, I get what you're saying, and everything, but, like, I think it may be better if you got message across a little more artfully, or wait, maybe with a little less judgement. I mean, of course there's a good reason to try and let those kind of feeling be heard by the /wg/ Writing General, but the next time you think about making a post like that, try and put yourself in the average /wg/ Writing Generals reader's shoes, and then maybe you'll understand how your critique may be somewhat misunderstood given the way that you've expressed yourself - and, like I said, no judgments on my part, I'm just trying to help you get your message across in the most meaningful way possible. Be supportive. That's how we have to be, extra supportive. If's not that your post didn't maybe contain some factual information, it's that you were a little harsh and I don't think the readers of /wg/ Writing General will be as motivated to put your suggestions into practice as you'd like. okay?

Edit: wow this post blew up. thanks for the gold kind stranger!

[Anonymous No.23288720]

>>23288703
there are also those occasional people who blow in, post something, and when they're not given glowing praise they immediately retreat and defend what they've written, and brush off criticisms. those people deserve both barrels.

[Anonymous No.23288723]

>>23288715
It is pretty funny he championed being nicer while being ridiculously rude and assuming a bunch of things, but I also don't think he's wrong. 'Harsh' feedback is scientifically proven to be much worse than 'kind' feedback. The subject of learning and acquiring skills is well researched by this point.

[Anonymous No.23288730]

>>23288720
yeah that's true, those people are annoying, and feel free to call them out, but that doesn't mean critiques should be needlessly rude. In fact you should go out of your way to be nice if you truly want to help them, because they're more likely to take the advice. The human ego is a funny thing and neither you, me, nor anyone else can escape from it, even if you think you're self aware and open to honesty

[Anonymous No.23288731]

>>23288723
in a face to face or clasroom environment I can absolutely see the case, but negative criticism does also produce a result, and one of the strengths of an anonymous forum is that a poster should be able to leave their ego at the door and try to take whatever criticism they get a little more objectively

[Anonymous No.23288739]

>>23288731
You can say "should be able to" all you want, but humans simply respond better to nice bubble-wrapped feedback. It's just a fact.
Besides, you can be dead honest while still being nice and padding the sharp edges of what you have to say. People on this board are just assholes for no reason (as anonymity always causes)

[Anonymous No.23288746]

12 days into my second novel, and I'm feeling *so* much better about it than I ever felt about the last one. I hope that's a good sign. I can tell I've improved my writing in a massive way. Two or so more weeks from now I'll crack open my first manuscript and kick off...editing. May God help me.

>>23285928
You'll need to give us more to go off of than that. Is it a novel that you're stuck on? A whole series? Are there publishers and/or readers expecting something out of you? By that token, do you just so happen to be George R.R. Martin?

>>23286167
How do I learn this power? I've found that I gas out after around 1,500 words in a day, and have little motivation to keep going past that point.

>>23287606
Just branch out to fantasy. It worked for Sarah J. Mass and Rebecca Yarros.

>>23287697
>Parentheses in prose
Dropped. There's your first problem.

[Anonymous No.23288752]

What version of Word do you guys use?

[Anonymous No.23288755]

>>23288752
libreoffice

[Anonymous No.23288756]

>>23288755
Which version?

[Anonymous No.23288757]

>>23288752
Pirate and use scrivener imo
Or Google Docs if you need easy mobility for some reason and your projects aren't large

[Anonymous No.23288759]

>>23288756
currently 7.6.2.1

[Anonymous No.23288794]

>>23288715
>>23288715
>It is pretty funny he championed being nicer while being ridiculously rude
Have you considered the possibility that maybe I did that on purpose? To elicit exactly the kind of cultish response I expected (>not being rude is le reddit!) thereby proving my actual point which is that /wg/ is factually useless for receiving meaningful critique.

>>23288731
>should be able to leave their ego at the door
And the critiquer can't do this because... oh, that's right, because he's only in it to vent, not to actually help the author with his writing.

[Anonymous No.23288806]

>>23288703
The basic problem is taking the job of the critic as the task of critique.

>"But readers and critics are harsh," you say. "An author has to develop a thick skin." Yes, but readers and critics (as opposed to critiquers) have a right to be harsh. Readers pay money for the author's work, and may rightfully feel cheated if it didn't fulfill its promise. A critic's job is to tell readers whether something's worth their money or not. Neither reader nor critic owe anything to the author. A critiquer's duty, on the other hand, is not to thicken the author's skin. Your duty is to help the author improve their piece.

[Anonymous No.23288813]

>>23288671
Well, the words I used to critique this one guy's writing were "boring", "sterile", and "generic". It unironically made me realize, The Room's dialogue could be worse. But the inclusion of those three words was considered rude and hurt the author's feelings, enough to get banned.

I'm not saying, you should be intentionally harsh or mean, but should be at be able to say honest thoughts.

[Anonymous No.23288840]

>>23285914
So I'm writing something where
>Robert is courting Marianne, and gifts her a book of his people's history since she likes to read
>It's translated into Marianne's native tongue and he secretly placed a love letter in it's pages
>Marianne is courted by another man, Henry, who she prefers
>When Henry notices the gifts in her chambers and asks where she got them, she sends a courier to return them to Robert because she's embarrassed by them
>When Robert receives his gifts, he notices the letter was never opened and is still sealed
>Contact is cut for a long time
>When they meet again Henry has stopped courting her
What would be some ways for there to be great awkwardness between them? I did not want Robert to be the vengeful type to make little snipes and jabs at her.

My idea was she tries typical greetings like "how have you been" and he gives very curt one word answers, and never asks her about anything.

Neither of them mention the courier and the book but I wanted it to be clear that both remember it and are thinking of it during their conversation. Robert also is courting another woman at the time and she is snarky and rude to Marianne, and I was thinking while Robert doesn't mistreat Marianne himself, he doesn't really care to stop his new lady love from making little jabs at Marianne.

[Anonymous No.23288870]

>>23288689
You think AI is some sort of religion. For me, it's a tool, one that I wield professionally. There was no Kool Aid, there was simply a project I was assigned, and at which I am excelling. You know less than nothing about AI. It gives me a headache to think down to your level.

[Anonymous No.23288876]

>>23288713
Another pathetically brainless response. You assume AI is even trying to replace good writers. It may be able to replace crappy, mechanical writers, and already has. Bad journalists and bad copywriters have already lost their job to AI. Your bleating about "muh soul" indicates you've completely missed the point, and you're not likely to grasp it until it's far too late for you. Meanwhile, I get paid to develop and deploy AI systems, and thus know far more about it, the state of the art, and where it's going, than you ever will.

[Anonymous No.23288889]

I used quips a lot in my early stuff, but have cut them down almost completely. I only use them to demonstrate that a particular character has some insecurity they have to overcome, or seek to push others away.

[Anonymous No.23288892]

>>23288876
nta, don't care about the ai discussion, just wanted to say that you sound like a huge cocksucker

[Anonymous No.23288909]

>>23288876
i can smell the curry through my monitor

[Anonymous No.23288913]

>>23288840
>Contact is cut for a long time
He should treat her like a piece of furniture. When they get to talking he should find out she never married. He should say how happy he is to have found his newer, younger woman, and then he should make a comment that since she's so independent being an old maid suits her. Basically he should try to make it clear he has moved on, even if he hasn't

[Anonymous No.23288966]

>>23288913
Those kinds of snide comments are not really suited to his personality, but his new lady would say such things I think

[Anonymous No.23288988]

>>23288840
I'm fond of the vague, mostly unconsciously motivated spiteful rambling people do when they're around someone they don't like and can't let go of the past. He starts talking about unrelated history and complaining about the postman being late every day. Have him act like my mother.

[Anonymous No.23289005]

>>23288892
>ad hominem attack
Typical brainless response.
>>23288909
>racist
I'm not Indian, but even if I was, you still totally suck. And what is it about Indian people that makes you seethe? Worry they'll replace you too? They will, if you have no brains, talent, or work ethic.

[Anonymous No.23289016]

>>23288966
Well the exact comments are definitely in snarky territory so making his new fiance take point and open with that kind of snark would definitely be something a female would say to another female simply to fuck with her. Especially if his 1st love interest is prettier in some obvious way than his 2nd one. But he should be much nicer while echoing similar sentiments. Like the new love interest compliments the first one's appearance by saying the dress she's wearing looks beautiful, and how it reminder her of her mother's wedding dress. Then she should ask about how many children she has, and then feign surprise when she finds out she has none. Female cattiness can really make for some entertaining dialogue because if two men pulled even half the shit women routinely do, they'd throw down.

[Anonymous No.23289045]

>>23289005
You post AI images of shit, you are a fucking retard

[Anonymous No.23289047]

>>23289005
>ad hominem
Accusing me of 'ad hominem' implies I'm trying to discredit your argument by attacking your character.
Which I'm not. I don't give a shit about the ai discourse and hence your argument
I just wanted to tell you that the way you type makes you sound like a huge cocksucker irl

[Anonymous No.23289050]

>>23289016
Hmm that's a good idea

>Are you and Henry expecting a child soon?
>We are actually not engaged anymore
>(Robert): I'm sorry to hear that. You seemed happy with him.
>Well, I believe Robert and I will have a child soon. We've been doing a lot of work in that regard
>(Robert) Please my love, Marianne probably doesn't want to hear about that
>Oh, my apologies.

[Anonymous No.23289095]

>>23288746
>How do I learn this power?
Find what motivates you. Like I said for me it's a mix of anger at no one reading my work and also love for what I am writing.
If you get tired at 1.5k words you need to push yourself to keep writing. Are you making it up as you go or do you have a plan set out?

[Anonymous No.23289133]

>>23289045
>jumping to thinly-supported conclusions
You're only embarrassing yourself with your implicit admission of your complete stupidity.
>>23289047
>calls me a cocksucker
>claims not to be attacking my character
Do you even realize how embarrassed you should be?

[Anonymous No.23289254]

>>23289133
>Do you even realize how embarrassed you should be?
>simps for ai
cool nested if, then statements

[Anonymous No.23289257]

>>23289133
Are you a moron? when someone says 'ad hominem' they are referring to the logical fallacy wherein someone attacks a person's character rather than their argument. I didn't do that. I'm just calling you a cocksucker. It's an insult. Not the ad hominem logical fallacy
>ad hominem: (of an argument or reaction) directed against a person rather than the position they are maintaining.
Holy fuck you're retarded. Keep using buzz words you don't understand I guess. Not surprised the dude who types like a cocksucker is also a fucking dipshit

[Anonymous No.23289260]

>>23285914
got another turd for you faggot

[Anonymous No.23289287]

I'm comfortable enough with writing greens, but don't know how to transfer that to actual short stories. Imitations of the /lit/ canon(just "Autobiography" of John Barth and Calvino's *Difficult Loves* since I'm an underread newfag) have been posted here before, and usually critiqued as unclear and...I don't know a word for this, but "works outside of expectations without giving the proper context for the reader to follow along," to put it nicely.

I've also followed up on that maximalist experiment(that writing about a certain "Goopsin" was part of it) but part of me wonders whether the characters I'm writing about have enough to them to warrant such a style.

[Anonymous No.23289297]

>>23289133
>>23289257
In the beautiful words of Claude Opus, since AI is all you understand: (Prompt being: <Conversation copy-paste, followed by:> Above is an exchange from an anonymous forum. Please ignore the vulgar language and simply provide insight into who is correct, here.)

Based on the exchange, the person accusing the other of using an "ad hominem" fallacy seems to be incorrect. Here's a breakdown:


The person insulting by calling the other a "cocksucker" states clearly that they are not engaging with or attempting to discredit the argument about AI. They are simply insulting the way the person types/communicates, separate from the actual argument.


An ad hominem fallacy involves attacking the person making an argument rather than the argument itself, in an attempt to discredit their position. However, in this case, the insult about sounding like a "cocksucker" is explicitly stated to be separate from and not directed at the argument itself.


So while the language used is vulgar and inappropriate, the person throwing the insult is correct that they are not committing an ad hominem fallacy against the AI argument, since they are not engaging with or trying to refute that argument through the insult. They are just personally insulting the way the person communicates, separate from the debate.


In summary, the person accusing an ad hominem fallacy seems to have misunderstood or misapplied that logical fallacy concept in this particular exchange.

[Anonymous No.23289305]

>>23288746
>>23289095
What's the point of cranking out a high word count? I only write sub 1000 words a day and I'm already 67K words deep into my web novel.

[Anonymous No.23289308]

>>23285914
Purple prose is excessive decoration of sentences right? To the point where it becomes distracting.
Some decoration isn't bad, if it improves the flow of paragraph?


Example:
>Jane was staring at the car. She did move at all, something was wrong.

>It was as if Jane had been hypnotized by the car. Frozen in place, things were amiss.

Is the latter purple prose?

[Anonymous No.23289312]

>>23289305
The most popular serials do ~2k word chapters 5-7 times a week
Not that you have to. But high output is a huge plus in the web novel community.

[Anonymous No.23289315]

>>23289254
>accuses me of simping for AI
You are the one anthropomorphizing a tool. I literally work with, program, and deploy AI in my daily job. I've forgotten more about AI than you'll ever know. We're on two different levels here. You'll never grasp that.
>>23289257
You are definitely attacking me instead of my argument. You appear to be too stupid to know how stupid you are.
In any case, you both are a waste of time. You're seething at me in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from how little you accomplished in your life.

[Anonymous No.23289317]

>>23289315
Lmaooo calling me too stupid to know how stupid I am is classic. Even your beloved AI disagrees with you

[Anonymous No.23289387]

>>23286167
Good job, anon.
I've stared at a blank page all afternoon.

[Anonymous No.23289391]

>>23289297
btfo

[Anonymous No.23289399]

>>23289387
Why not write instead?

[Anonymous No.23289412]

>prove people in my life wrong
>demonstrate defeaters to them
>in the moment they accept that they hold a false belief and are "willing to change"
>next time I talk to them it's as if we never had the previous conversation and they continue to hold the same false belief
>repeat the process in perpetuity
How the FUCK do I get through to loved ones who act like Euthyphro?
>haha sorry anon, you may have proved me wrong here, but I don't have time for this rn lol
>why do you care about what I believe lol
I'm so tired of this shit. IT'S SO TIRESOME AND I FEEL ABUSED I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG, BUT WHAT IF THEY ARE JUST FOUNDATIONALLY HYPOCRITICAL AND INCAPABLE OF BEING HONEST....
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE3EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.23289415]

>>23289308
Neither of that is purple.

Jane’s irises, a luscious shade of turquoise that mirrored the tranquil depths of a secluded lagoon, stared fixated with an unwavering intent upon the mysterious vehicle before her. She stood transfixed upon the weather-worn sidewalk, as a ghostly chill crept upon her being, petrifying her limbs. A foreboding heaviness lay pressed upon her heart, and the act of drawing breath had become an alien concept as if an arcane spell had transmogrified her body into a living statue—a sculpture carved from blood and sinew. Perchance, it was the allure of the automobile itself, with her captivating metallic luster that danced like moonlight on water, and the flawless symmetry of her smooth contours that had ensnared Jane’s very being, and scorched her soul with fiery desire . . .

Jane wanted to fuck the car.

[Anonymous No.23289416]

>>23289315
>literally work with, program, and deploy AI in my daily job
Not that guy but congratulations. It's 2024. We all work with AI.
I for instance am not allowed to divulge what I know about AI because if I do CIA men will put me in a car and you'll never hear from my ass again. I'll be found suicided and my kids will suddenly and inexplicably develop cancer. Yes, this was in the NDA I signed.
You're not special, faggot.

[Anonymous No.23289465]

>>23289415
I see now, nice illustration, I hope you had fun with that

[Anonymous No.23289606]

My Grandma said she liked my writing and that actually made me happy.

[Anonymous No.23289615]

>>23288644
When I was told my punctuation and formatting was so bad that he questioned if I even finished highschool, for the record, I didn't, I immediately went over my first three chapters again to fix that.
Negative or positive reinforcement, from what I've seen, are both worthwhile depending on the person being reinforced. I think I can take both, but some blubbering pussies consider negative as overly harsh and get discouraged rather than trying to spitefully prove the other person wrong by getting better.

[Anonymous No.23289625]

>>23289415
youre too good at that

[Anonymous No.23289693]

>>23288988
I think I'll just have him uncomfortable in her presence, and when she wishes to speak more with him alone he just tells her he's uncomfortable.

What are some good ways to write body language of someone not wanting to talk to someone else?

[Anonymous No.23289908]

>>23289412
Hitler wrote about this once.
Someone would debate the socialist group he was with, or maybe he was the one debating, I can't remember exactly, but after they got BTFO, the master debater would come back the next day and the socialists would repeat the exact same arguments as if they never spoke to the debater.
Eventually, the debater would stop trying, and the socialists would continue to bring people into the group by using the previously destroyed arguments.
Inteliectually dishonest people can know that they are wrong, but keep doing the exact same thing over and over again anyway because they would rather pretend that they are right instead of actually change their wrongness.

[Anonymous No.23289922]

>>23289606
I don't think anyone in my family has read anything I've written. I'm not even sure anyone in my friend groups have either. One of them even directly messaged me when I brought my stuff up and asked for a link, but he hasn't said anything back to me, only once referring to my writing skills as "sick" in a later conversation unrelated to my story.
Though I did have one conversation with a friend who wanted to just check out the first couple of chapters, and she considered it good, focusing on how I wrote my female characters well. However, I don't believe she read anything past those first few chapter.
I'm still glad for the occasional comment from randoms though, and two of my other stories won contests, awarding me a hat and a hoodie as prizes.
I don't think it can be overstated how nice that made me feel for a while.

[Anonymous No.23289939]

>>23289908
>Inteliectually dishonest people can know that they are wrong, but keep doing the exact same thing over and over again anyway because they would rather pretend that they are right instead of actually change their wrongness.
Yeah, Hitler should know.

[Anonymous No.23289941]

You ever get so absorbed as you write you forget who you are?
Like you become the character you're wiring the dialouge for or describe the scenery like you're right there watching it?

[Anonymous No.23289944]

>>23289939
Well, the man was a socialist himself, that's to be expected.

[Anonymous No.23290114]

>>23289416
you had to sign your own death warrant just to get a job? your career must suck

[Anonymous No.23290144]

Would a literary magazine for fantasy publish my short story if it has a rape or torture scene?

[Anonymous No.23290196]

DIDN'T WIN THE SHORT STORY COMPETITION THAT I THOUGHT I'D WIN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Anyway fuck it, they weren't ready for such a based as fuck story. It's an amazing story regardless of whether it wins some retarded globohomo award or not

Also i think this was an important experience for my writing career. I had so much expectations and hopes and visions for my future and it all came crashing down. It's almost like a first heartbreak. I am now chiseled and bigdicked. I've now learnt not to be an autismo gaylord when dealing with story competitions. I can't control things out of my control. I can just make my story as good as i can make it according to my own tastes and goals. Just write and be less gay everyday.

[Anonymous No.23290385]

>>23290114
spoken like a poor

[Anonymous No.23290415]

>>23285914
>His dirt-covered helmet was a great match for his ungroomed beard decorated with leftovers, and his tattered gambeson reeked of piss. Even arming himself for the night was asking too much. One would not mistake this man for a member of the gentry, yet he was. He was a grim reminder of what might come of those who give up on life.

Is this too much detail? I like to brief of visual descriptions, but here it kinda serves to set a tone.

[Anonymous No.23290429]

>>23287697
>rain stung
No, it doesn't

>though did he yet know
Shouldn't this be "though he did not yet know"?

>holy Latin
Just say Latin

>come to that height of fluency
"achieved fluency". As for the rest of the sentence, it's unwieldy and needs to be broken up. Improper use of the word "absolve" also. Rewrite this part and you'll be happier for it.

>slashing rain
No

The rest of it is quite good. Nice job juxtaposing Cam and Samuel; the brief characterizations are surprisingly effective. I like the payoff for Cam being Lord Merryweather but not knowing it yet, since the reader gets the answer to that question with the servant's announcement.

Overall, choose your descriptors more carefully and watch those run-on sentences. Otherwise, your characterization feels natural and your voice/pacing is very comfortable. I would read more of this.

[Anonymous No.23290434]

>>23290429
NTA, but very heavy fast falling rain can sting.

[Anonymous No.23290537]

>>23290415
>his adjective noun was an adjective noun for his adjective noun, and his adjective noun...
Fix that and it'll serve whatever comes next.

[Anonymous No.23290599]

Did you ever struggle with a concept for your story and one day out of nowhere a thought kicks in and it actually fits so well you wonder how you never thought of it before?

[Anonymous No.23290616]

>>23290537
I can see the point about being formulaic, theory, but it when you read it does seem smooth:
https://vocaroo.com/1bo7kmMaQzR6

[Anonymous No.23290627]

>try to write casual, fun fantasy slop to unwind
>not 10 chapters in, it has turned into A Farewell to Arms
I just want to escape human tragedy

[Anonymous No.23290642]

>>23290627
Never.
I ran into that same thing. I have a hard time with the sweeter parts of my story, but the drama and horror comes to me easily.

[Anonymous No.23290674]

No.

[Anonymous No.23290691]

>>23285914
How is this exchange?
After coming across some truly terrible dialogue, I'm afraid my dialogue might be shitty too.
Ideally, dialogue should characterize speakers, be fun to listen to, and establish stuff without "as you know".

[Anonymous No.23290805]

>>23290691
>You sack of shit, you ought to answer!
no one would say this. they would say
>Answer me, you sack of shit!
although even that feels extremely dramatic. if you’re going for a more anime feel then I suppose that kind of dialogue is what your readers would expect.

[Anonymous No.23290829]

>>23290691
"Most uneventful" is awkward because "most" has an incongruous heightening effect.

If you're going for an old-timey parlance, consider "pay it no mind" instead of "don't worry about it". If you're not going for old-timey formal diction, then that's fine too, but you'll have to do a lot of edits, based off the snippet you posted in the previous thread.

The sack of shit line is awful.

"Told them not"...sounds better as "told them not to".

The desertion line and the one after it should be under the same dialogue header because Conducas speaks both of them without being interrupted. Same with the two Gath lines immediately after.

Why is Gath calling his commanding officer "son" as a familiar term? Inconsistent hierarchy relationship.

"Lashes" not "slashes". And don't forget the plural for hooligans.

Overall: This dialogue does a serviceable job of conveying information and character intention, but it is not stylistic or fun.

[Anonymous No.23291056]

>>23285914
https://pastebin.com/Cw3b3D6e
Anyone care to critique this? This is going to be the first chapter for a web novel I want to post on royal road
Mainly looking for feedback on style and pacing

[Anonymous No.23291073]

>>23290805
Good point.
I don't know about anime, this sort of dialogue can be found Shogun.

Regardleess, think it might work as passive aggressive instead?
E.g.

>"You sack of shit..." (calm tone)
>*uneasy smile*
>"You ought to answer" (slow escalation)

>>23290829
>>"Most uneventful" is awkward because "most" has an incongruous heightening effect.
I see.

>>If you're going for an old-timey parlance, consider "pay it no mind"
That's great.

>>"Told them not"...sounds better as "told them not to".
Good as well, just ESL thing.

>>The desertion line and the one after
Well, in novelization there are paragraphs between, it doesn't really matter. I subtracted dialogue just to see if stood on its own.

>>Why is Gath calling his commanding officer "son" as a familiar term? Inconsistent hierarchy relationship.
To hammer down the extreme lack of morale, Gath doesn't give a fuck, and his entire behavior is supposed to be unprofessional and rude.

>>"Lashes" not "slashes". And don't forget the plural for hooligans.
Can't believe I keep making those typos.

>>it is not stylistic or fun.
So, not fun = boring?

[Anonymous No.23291077]

>>23291056
>A knock on the village chief’s door resounded.

Literally already shit

[Anonymous No.23291088]

Redpill me on the "sexual content" limits of Royal Road. Can I really have whatever dirty stuff I want so long as it's <15% of the text?

[Anonymous No.23291113]

>>23291077
disagree

[Anonymous No.23291141]

Tear apart my dialogue.

Italics are inner monologue

[Anonymous No.23291164]

>>23291141
Porn / 10, so 0/10. Runs her fingers up and down the arrow shaft thoughtfully? Snarly. If this is AI sloppa, which I hope it is if the reader is a human, then we humans are good. No need to worry about robots taking over my work in this life. Runs up her fingers up and down the arrow shaft. Snarl. Someone's been on 'the hub'.

[Anonymous No.23291172]

>>23291088
I have several full on sex scenes but they comprise less than 5% of the total words. If your characters start banging on page 2 of your story and it's obviously just erotica you'll have issues. Otherwise, you're fine.

[Anonymous No.23291177]

>>23291056
I like this! Her falling asleep against his leg is a cute (surprising) detail, it emphasizes his steadfastness. Well done.
I'm bad at pacing but good at nitpicking the small stuff, so I have some of that. If you iron it out it's a bit easier to read.

>Before he could answer
I don't know who "he" refers to yet. Maybe "Before the chief could answer"? Or some more severe reordering.

> !
> ?
There shouldn't be a space before these (in English).

Pay attention your punctuation around dialogue. There are some standard rules for that.
>please take a seat.” he offered.
The convention is to write it like this:
>please take a seat," he offered.
Because "he offered" is a dialogue tag.
Note that this one is already correct because it's a new sentence, not a dialogue tag:
>“Thank you citizen.” Ajax stood then left the office as promptly as she entered.
But
>She shrugged between yawns and drew her sword “Let’s get this done”.
should be
>She shrugged between yawns and drew her sword. “Let’s get this done.”
And
>“A roc bird” she muttered.
should be
>“A roc bird,” she muttered.

>Suddenly, he forcefully pushed her away.
The word "forcefully" makes the sentence itself feel less sudden because it takes longer to get to the point. Ideally you want the words themselves to jolt the reader. Consider:
>Suddenly he shoved her away.

[Anonymous No.23291180]

>>23289908
>Inteliectual
I see what you did there. Nice wordplay. Congratulations.

[Anonymous No.23291195]

>>23291113
NTA, but I think THE knock sounds better.
>>23291180
There was no wordplay, I drank a couple shots of rum to numb the pain of doing a relatively small amount of cleaning in my room. I'm a fucking mess, my backs fucked, twice today I've gotten so bad that I could hardly lift my feet to go back up the stairs and I've been using my cane to get around my own house whereas normally I only use it when I know I'm going to be walking for a little while.

[Anonymous No.23291220]

>>23291177
>>23291195
thanks a lot, I'm ESL so these will help

[Anonymous No.23291231]

What's your OP for your story?

[Anonymous No.23291243]

>>23291220
In general, THE has a greater effect than A.
A soldier is one of many, but THE soldier means that there is something notable enough that they aren't just another one of the soldiers.
In the title of my webnovel, I started with A Child From the Woods, but settled on THE Child From the Woods, because it is singular, and because there isn't some group of children found in the woods.
But also be mindful that you shouldn't abuse this, don't just replace every A with a THE, because it can sound clunky if you overuse it.
>>23291231
OP? Opening paragraph?
Pic related.
Reading this back again, there are changes I would make, but I vowed to not go back over my story again until I finished it. Then I'll edit the first hundred or so chapters until I'm sure that the quality of them are more in line with the later ones.

[Anonymous No.23291277]

>Have a 10/10 idea
>But it's so good I'm certain it will be stolen if I ever reveal it
>The obvious solution is "just write it urself bro"
>But the idea has absolutely nothing to do with the story I'm already balls-deep in
I am both Frankenstein and his monster.

[Anonymous No.23291294]

>>23291277
ideas are a diamond dozen

[Anonymous No.23291343]

>>23291141
There's a lot going on here that I like. You can tell Kono both lusts after and is annoyed by Amelia. It's like by allowing the girl to come with her she's giving in to some kind of inner desire she doesn't want to.

>>23291164
Dunno what this anon is on about, I didn't catch anything sexual from the arrow rubbing. That last bit about the loophole is ace though.

[Anonymous No.23291430]

>>23285914
Using (obscure) quotes from other books before every chapter, what do you think, cringe or based?

[Anonymous No.23291445]

>>23291430
I generally like it, but it's best to cite the source. And if the source title is cool as well that's a valuable bonus

[Anonymous No.23291446]

>>23291430
Good if I get something out of it without knowing the source.
As long as it doesn't waste my time it's a meh at worst. It rarely does much for me but I don't think it's ever turned me off.

[Anonymous No.23291453]

>>23291430
Really depends. My mind first went to the Halo series, where the later games started quoting the earlier games at the checkpoints in the levels.

[Anonymous No.23291535]

>>23291430
Pretentious. Write your own in universe quotes, a la the Thief games.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z6OyBoZGss&list=PL4CBFD80EC418C66A&index=6

[Anonymous No.23291569]

I want to write a story where a character narrates the events to a friend through various letters. Should I write the letters from both of them or I can just get away with just the letters of only one character (the one narrating the story), leaving the replies of the other friend up to the reader's imagination?

[Anonymous No.23291585]

>>23291569
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sixjHud8lYw

Use this for inspiration, save the reply for a twist/conclusive action.

[Anonymous No.23291686]

>>23290691
It's stilted to the point of being good.
ESLs are often ashamed of their accents. They want to sound Am*rican.
But I like accents. And I like your dialogue.

[Anonymous No.23291737]

What would you say is the best AI for reviewing your writing, not creating it.

[Anonymous No.23291745]

>>23291737
Grammarly's not bad as AI goes

[Anonymous No.23291750]

>>23291737
None are good, get a human or kys

[Anonymous No.23291765]

I don't have much "writing" per se, I'd classify it more as worldbuilding. I've been working on a personal project on and off for a few months now. Right now it's mainly the broader concepts and ideas, and I'm going to work on smaller things for it including stories from different characters, along with the "main plot" that happens throughout all of it

[Anonymous No.23291801]

>>23291765
>mortality ranking autism
so that's a complete waste of time. like, utterly. worldbuilding can be a disease.
as far as your reader is concerned there are humans - or whatever your universe's baseline sentient people are - and those with more power and those with lower
rather than focusing on what you've been doing, or a supposed "main plot" spend more time on characters and their individual stories. hopefully when doing so you really like one, and that one becomes your main character. big, overarching ideas are window dressing. characters and their struggles are what readers care about

[Anonymous No.23291810]

>have 2 ideas for the plot of my novel
>one is something which I think is legitimately good and which I think people will find interesting to read
>one is self-indulgent garbage that blatantly doesn't work
>can't stop obsessively hyperfocusing on the latter while feeling demotivated about the former
What do

[Anonymous No.23291814]

>>23291810
>self-indulgent garbage that blatantly doesn't work
magical realm tier? what exactly are you trying to make work?

[Anonymous No.23291827]

>>23291801
The screenshot is from the first doc I wrote for this project. I've had more things made for it (sadly not as much as I'd like, mostly cause I can't focus on anything) and I have the main character and his general story arc set in stone

[Anonymous No.23291845]

>>23291827
>I have the main character
good. what is your main character's initial objective or driving impetus that kicks off the plot?

[Anonymous No.23291849]

>>23291827
The main character is called Set, and at the start of the story he's a war veteran who just returned home. The first part of his story is about his dissatisfaction with living a normal life, and his decision to abandon it in favor of traveling the world, even if he must become homeless to do it. His reasoning would be that he'd rather live this life because he'd be content with it, even if he doesn't have a home to call his own. The setting is entirely fictional of course, with some added things to make stuff more interesting (at least for me). It's also the first "part" of the story, as later parts will get more into the fantastical aspects of my setting (which is why the mortality thing was written down, cause it plays a major part in the overarching story)

[Anonymous No.23291856]

>>23291814
No, it's a historical bildungsroman type thing about the life of an eccentric schizo from the 1910s to the 1940s.
A huge part of the plot is the MC's obsession with a certain military officer whom he briefly encounters from afar, develops something like a parasocial relationship with, and follows around all over Europe. The story culminates in him attempting to assassinate this officer.
Now my dilemma is: a) make the officer an original character, so I can give him a character arc too and have him do what I want to fit my plot, or b) use a certain actual irl historical figure, one I have my own autistic obsession with. This option might potentially be funnier and will probably be more fun for me to write, but then I have to build my whole plot in such a way that it fits with the irl circumstances of this person's life, and also I'm pretty sure readers wouldn't care to read my autism about said person.

[Anonymous No.23291864]

>>23291849
One aspect I want to get into is how his world works on a "basic" level (political, economical, etc). I'd have this happen by him encountering things during his journey, which would show the current state of the world (which I have a good idea of what it would be like)

[Anonymous No.23291869]

Is this too much for explaining reagents and spells? This is the longest bit of exposition I've put in so far, the rest being very organic.

[Anonymous No.23291877]

>>23291849
>The first part of his story is about his dissatisfaction with living a normal life, and his decision to abandon it in favor of traveling the world
Great. This is your first chapter, you just need to figure out what he's doing that causes him to set back out on adventure. Maybe his house has been taken over by squatters, and he can't bring himself to evict them. Maybe he's the equivalent of Arthur Dent and he's been given an eviction notice. Maybe he's minor nobility, (but earned glory in the war) and now he finds out he has an arranged marriage with a much older woman, so he decides to get out. Get a scene going where you can see him coming back home, and being utterly dissatisfied or demoralized, so much so that he immediately turns around and leaves. Or maybe something like Odysseus finally making it back home and finding out his wife has remarried, and rather than fighting for it he throws up his hands and leaves.

I would say don't let him put down roots for a bit because him just living his life somewhere he would, basically out of boredom, find some girl, or some girl finds him, he gets hitched and then he's a father. The other reason is you want the war fresh in his mind. If he farms for a few seasons the any PTSD seems like it'd be less believable. Also having nothing consequential happen in the 1st chapter is kryptonite for the reader

[Anonymous No.23291884]

>>23291856
>I'm pretty sure readers wouldn't care to read my autism about said person.
why wouldn't they? if you know your specific historical person and you know the route and you know generally his personality, and you can make him interesting, I think readers would definitely enjoy it one of the strengths of historical fiction is you can make the time period you're exploring come to life, and if it's set against a larger backdrop of the 2 world wars, the reader can see danger coming down the pike and get excited for what is going to come

[Anonymous No.23291889]

>>23291877
In the story he's a higher caste (the society he is in has a caste system determined by your bloodline), so the minor nobility one could work. The first section would be him trying to live in a small town after his honorable discharge, but he finds that everything is just unsatisfying, and is reminded of the good aspects of his military life (seeing new places, meeting new people, and he was also a bit of a war history nerd in school so he wanted to see it firsthand).
As for the second bit, what I have planned for him is nothing like you wrote. My idea for his story is that he's slowly going to go from unsatisfied war veteran to Happy Chaos from Guilty Gear (not immediately, it'll take a long time for it to happen, but it will happen).

[Anonymous No.23291900]

>>23291889
And my concern, as a potential reader, is that by dwelling on his slow life after being discharged you may inadvertently spend too much time waffling around, boring the reader, instead of getting to the inciting incident.

[Anonymous No.23291902]

>>23291900
Honestly I'm worried I'll rush it too much, cause I'd have almost no patience to waff around like that

[Anonymous No.23291907]

Ifiction the next generation of fiction

[Anonymous No.23291923]

>>23291056
It's really easy to read and am I'm getting a very anime feelings about it. A lot of that dialogue is pretty exposition-heavy, I wish you be more subtle. MC speaks far too much try to be more concise in the dialogue. That being, you provide few descriptions or thoughts, so I'm not sure entirely sure what is happening with the knight.
Pacing wise, found it somewhat messy. I guess I don't understand what even the purpose of MC talking to the village chief, just to find the knight immediately.
And the part where she delivered the formal declaration old English was a comical shift, I don't know if that was intentional, but if it wasn't I don't understand why do it.
Overall good stuff, I wish could write something even remotely as decent as you.

>>23291686
Saying something stilted and you still liked feels contrary.
If it is still it's hard to cumbersome to read, and if it's cumbersome, it's bad. So are you saying it's so bad it's good?

[Anonymous No.23291967]

>You are a literary critic. Be objective and point out all of the flaws in the following work.

Feed this into an ai and it will suddenly become a master of critique and help improve the quality of a work

[Anonymous No.23291974]

>>23291967

>Inconsistent Tone: The tone of the passage fluctuates between casual conversation, introspection, and exposition. Maintaining a consistent tone throughout the passage would create a more cohesive reading experience.

Oh yea that's what I want to read. Pure exposition.

[Anonymous No.23291987]

>>23291884
Thanks anon, I appreciate it. I guess you're right in terms of it increasing the personal stakes of the story for the reader and bringing the reader into closer contact with the events. The historical figure I'm talking about isn't really ever going to be a proper character per se, it's all about the MC's feelings towards him and what he inspires the MC to do. The MC's perception of him is meant to be obviously biased and subjective, like there's a running joke where he repeatedly gets the guy's rank and title wrong.
Another big problem is that the historical figure I'm talking about is, uh, sort of a Nazi war criminal. Though the MC meets him long before he becomes one. The intent would be to contrast historical reality with the MC's completely warped perception of it for a provocative black comedy effect. The image I've got in my head is of this completely apolitical MC going on about how much of a cool person this future Nazi is and how he's convinced they would be best friends if they met properly, and doing all sorts of stupid shit to try impress him which leads the MC down various other sideplots, eventually culminating in the assassination. I guess it could be some sort of political commentary or something; people seemed to like that movie with Hitler as the kid's imaginary friend. At least that's what I tell myself. In reality it'll probably come across as tasteless, edgy, unfunny, offensive, and the work of some unhinged /pol/fag obsessed with shock value if readers take it at face value.
So you can see why it's better for me not to do it and why it's fucking stupid to do this as opposed to something less edgy.

[Anonymous No.23291989]

>>23291974
Well maybe I was wrong. But it pointed out good critiques of some of my WIPs and how I could possibly improve them.

[Anonymous No.23292012]

>>23291989
>But it pointed out good critiques of some of my WIPs
how many words at a time can you even plug into these "AI's" to get feedback on

[Anonymous No.23292016]

>>23285914
Paid beta readers are a joke.

[Anonymous No.23292018]

>>23292012
The duckduckgo one allows for 8000 characters

[Anonymous No.23292093]

How to develop 3D characters who are dynamic and develop?

[Anonymous No.23292121]

>>23290385
No, spoken like someone with more to offer an employer than my life.

[Anonymous No.23292147]

>>23285914
I write mostly "serious" literature, but I would like to write some erotica. I do not intend to publish it anywhere, just want to write for myself. My problem is that I write mostly by hand, and I'm too paranoid about this stuff being found out, and also that I usually cum before writing much, just by thinking of the scenario. What do?

[Anonymous No.23292156]

>>23292147
>write mostly "serious" literature
I believe it. I also believe the most you've written is maybe a couple hundred contiguous words

[Anonymous No.23292290]

can i talk to travis?

[Anonymous No.23292302]

>>23290114
God you're retarded

[Anonymous No.23292327]

>>23292302

[Anonymous No.23292333]

>>23292327
can i talk to travis?

[Anonymous No.23292374]

>>23292302
saying unkind things about god doesn't help your case

[Anonymous No.23292516]

>>23292016
No shit. You think you'll get honest thoughts for money? They'll say whatever so you won't ask your money back.

[Anonymous No.23292545]

>>23292016
Well who the fuck am I supposed to turn to then

[Anonymous No.23292553]

I try to write few paragraphs, but I'm never satisfied and end up rewriting or deleting them. Should I just follow Stephen King's advice and just write and fix it later?

[Anonymous No.23292725]

>>23285914
I had two dreams Mia was married and had a husband, one of them she texted me about someone called kylie and that she was upset that I talked about spirituality after seeing her in a party. Texting me the passion is gone

[Anonymous No.23292750]

>>23292147
The way it works is that you just keep writing, you don't touch yourself, no matter how tight and moist your groin gets, you keep writing, maybe take off your pants and sit on a towel but DON'T touch yourself, (it's like that part in the Phaedrus with the boy in bed,) you keep writing, and after a few hours you get to the end of the story and do some light editing and now it's time to jerk off but it doesn't really work, you can barely get it up and have to resort to some other scenario, and you try again a few days later but still the most you can manage after half an hour is a halfhearted spurt. Your story keeps aesthetic and sentimental value but you strangled the eroticism.
Optional: post it online. Somebody says you gave them a new fetish. The cycle of nature.

[Anonymous No.23292752]

>>23292553
If it's just prose and not liking dialouge then yes fix it later.
If you don't like the direction the story took then start over.

[Anonymous No.23293095]

>>23292553
well that would be better than deleting everything you write

[Anonymous No.23293119]

>>23292553
From my rough draft to finished, I just give it one pass and fix spag issues and change sentences a bit here and there. No major editing. Am I doing it wrong? I keep seeing that many people more heavily edit after the first draft is done and go through multiple passes, and do much more major changes.

[Anonymous No.23293127]

>>23293119
Maybe this is why my characters are so flat and the story is kind of simplistic I write.

[Anonymous No.23293129]

>>23292516
Think the issue with them is, they do not represent the main audience, but a sort of elite. And I like you said, their thoughts must be partially fabricated to fill a minimum number of words.
I also find the idea of paying someone to read your fiction, kinda immoral. I guess publishers can do it because they can, but even then, I like to think the publishers could find literature enthusiasts and have them read for free.
Think best use of paid beta readers is probably on academic articles.

>>23292545
Trade.

[Anonymous No.23293164]

>>23291923
>So are you saying it's so bad it's good?
Yeah.

[Anonymous No.23293183]

>>23293164
oh fuck

[Anonymous No.23293241]

>>23293129
>I like to think the publishers could find literature enthusiasts and have them read for free.
Some do, IIRC some use volunteers like old teachers, or just eager readers. But publishers obviously see a lot of work pass by their desks, and if they rely on beta readers to curate it then it's reasonable that they expect at least some form of compensation.

[Anonymous No.23293242]

>>23289412
You have to understand firmly prosocial group-oriented types will never allow themselves to disagree with the hivemind. It frightens them as much as imposed upon by the hivemind frightens you.

[Anonymous No.23293258]

>Will finish part 1 (first draft, letting it cool, adding finishing touches) by the end of next month
>Found a forum of beta readers eager to read my genre of fiction (not english so of no interest to you)
>At this point I spent 12+ years on 4chan, strong possibility I have lost touch with how to interact with people on the internet politely
I'm going to fuck this up

[Anonymous No.23293282]

>>23290691
2nd attempt, I don't know why I'm fixated on making this short exchange better.
I guess it's a bit of a challenging start, it's supposed to be a pretty tense confrontation.
In the novelization, Conducas has to suppress his anger, and consider pushing Gath to his death.
So, lack of context might contribute to it seeming tilted.
I guess the main goal is to make sure it isn't boring.

[Anonymous No.23293292]

>>23291056
opening line:
>A knock on the village chief’s door resounded.
putting the verb at the end there feels so lopsided and unnatural it's like you were trying to make it rhyme with something, like maybe
>A hundred years after the town was founded
>A knock on the village chief’s door resounded.
i'm imagining it rapped by eminem. i will be reading no further

[Anonymous No.23293345]

>>23293292
Greetings! I'm slim shady from the capital
by royal decree I'm here to rap to ya
get you to disclose information you posses
like a trailer park girl taking off her dress
when I pass through your village
your mom was my first stop, no knock
she told me everything about you after I was through

[Anonymous No.23293444]

I created a better prompt for the AI: You are now a literary critic. Provide an indepth analysis of all of the flaws of the following excerpt

[Anonymous No.23293479]

>Lack of Sensitivity: The passage lacks sensitivity in its treatment of sensitive subjects, such as historical conquests and atrocities. It fails to acknowledge the gravity of these events and their impact on individuals and societies, instead treating them in a flippant or dismissive manner.
The main character is now a redditor who's disgusted by all this. I don't want to be insensitive.

[Anonymous No.23293493]

>>23293444
Gave it a try, but wasn't really happy with it. I felt like it missed the point. I gave it one page, and it complained about exposition, which is just one paragraph to give context to the dialogue.

I don't trust it, half the time it can't detect even punctuation mistakes. It feels like it's just inventing stuff.

[Anonymous No.23293501]

>>23293493
Maybe it just is. Ah, I should just find human critics instead.

[Anonymous No.23293538]

>>23293282
this is much better.

[Anonymous No.23293581]

>>23285914
Can someone explain why Grammarly doesn't accept an article for "graffiti" in this context:
>Well, it was graffiti of him either way.
Chat GPT doesn't know either.
If I replace it with any other noun, it accepts the article, so is there a special rule with Italian loan words?

[Anonymous No.23293660]

>>23293581
It's a loanword that's often regarded as plural. A textbook about pompeii will use graffito for the singular. I would use a graffito in narration and whatever people actually say in quoted text.

[Anonymous No.23293743]

>>23291277
Ideas are literally worthless by themselves. You can give 5 writers the same idea and end up with 10 substantially different stories.

You've got me curious though, pray tell?

>>23291294
The term you're looking for is "dime a dozen".

[Anonymous No.23293749]

Wrote a small thing the other night. First time in while I've wrote for myself. Trying to improve as much as possible so any criticism is appreciated.

[Anonymous No.23293797]

>>23293749
Eh. A small criticism for a small thing.

[Anonymous No.23293814]

Remember, if you don't plan on getting published, Write for yourself and not to give the people what they want, But instead focus on writing the tropes and the storylines that Resonate with you most

[Anonymous No.23293853]

>>23293797
What’s that? Anything I’ll appreciate

[Anonymous No.23293860]

>>23293749
half of this is in present tense and the rest is past tense. pick one.
a single line of* code
don’t use decided twice in the same sentence.
don’t capitalize the a in mid-afternoon.

[Anonymous No.23293906]

rate my metrics

[Anonymous No.23294037]

>>23293860
Thanks, there’s definitely some editing mistakes I would need to fix. I didn’t even realize that I was switched tenses as much as I did. I definitely have to shake the rust off when it comes to writing again. Thanks man

[Anonymous No.23294038]

>>23293906
Nice job anon it seems people are enjoying your stuff

[Anonymous No.23294058]

WRITE THE FIRST SENTENCE OF YOUR FIRST CHAPTER NOW AND R8

>The Red Hour arrived at the first light of day, ponctual as a last heartbeat.

[Anonymous No.23294133]

>The train slowed into the last station near the headland on the sea, where the world came to shrink into a southward point which met the imperceptible line where vast ocean stood tall to mate with the sky.

>>23294058
ponctual/20

[Anonymous No.23294134]

>>23293906
What's the site?

[Anonymous No.23294163]

>>23285914
There is this line that's so over the top and cartoonish, but I like it so much, I'd like to include it nonetheless:

>"Once you find the culprit, have his testicles fed to the closest goat, and if the culprit isn't a man, we have found the Continent's wicked woman, and for that, you will send her lady pearl to the royal treasury."

[Anonymous No.23294194]

>>23293906
Your very first sentence has a comma slice bruh what's wrong with you

[Anonymous No.23294210]

>>23294133
>where the world came to shrink into a southward point which met the imperceptible line where vast ocean stood tall to mate with the sky.
Any reader with even a faint imagination would already have an impression along these lines from reading 'The train slowed into the last station near the headland on the sea', so it feels like you spend the last two thirds of the sentence just talking to yourself and admiring the sound of your own voice.

[Anonymous No.23294219]

>>23294210
Last time I posted, no one seemed to know what a headland was or that the ocean is mostly rocky cliffs and the view from any elevation makes the sea take up half the world. That's a step up, I'll take it into consideration and save it for a later image.

[Anonymous No.23294278]

>>23294194
Literotica won't let me edit uploads. There's a few other grammar mistakes I've fixed on other sites, oh well.

[Anonymous No.23294337]

Should I post short stories on RR? What's the best place for them?

[Anonymous No.23294345]

>>23294278
Comma splices are hard.

[Anonymous No.23294348]

>>23293743
>The term you're looking for is "dime a dozen".
I said what I wanted to say. it's a doggy dog world, out there

[Anonymous No.23294351]

>>23294337
I mean, you can, but very few people will read it. Web novel sites are for long stories. Even regular novel-sized ones don't generally do well there

[Anonymous No.23294355]

>>23294345
Really? I find them easy to spot and easier to fix. They're pretty jarring to read

[Anonymous No.23294359]

>>23294348
you can identify newfags to this thread by who gets caught with the diamond dozen and doggy dog world bait

[Anonymous No.23294373]

>>23294355
I don't like the sound of periods when I read things aloud. So I tend to put in far too many commas.

[Anonymous No.23294380]

>>23294373
You need to kick that habit. Comma splices are horrendous and obvious marks of an amateur. They're (almost) never acceptable besides in dialogue and thought.

[Anonymous No.23294391]

Is anyone in this thread actually successful? Like non-trivially?

[Anonymous No.23294410]

>>23294380
Is there some kind of program I can feed my text to and it shows me all the comma splices?

[Anonymous No.23294413]

What was the name of that /lit/ magazine with the & and what program did they use to make it look like that? I’m starting my own literary periodical soon

[Anonymous No.23294431]

>>23294410
Uh, just use your brain? Comma splices are obvious. Don't rely on a tool, because if you can't see them yourself, you seriously need to go retake a few English classes and start paying more attention to your prose.

[Anonymous No.23294434]

>>23294431
>Don't rely on a tool, because if you can't see them yourself, you seriously need to go retake a few English classes and start paying more attention to your prose.

Is this not a comma splice

[Anonymous No.23294440]

>>23294434
Only the second one.

[Anonymous No.23294447]

>>23288813
That's too rude dude. You can couch it in gentler language while getting across the same point. They know and I know that you use that kind of language if you're specifically trying to break the writer's spirit and ensure they'll never ruin your day by seeing their writing again.

[Anonymous No.23294452]

>>23294351
I don't know where I should post then though.

[Anonymous No.23294459]

>>23294452
What kind of story is it?
>>23294440
So was it a comma splice or not? I know you can, for instance like this, use commas as kind of an aside.

[Anonymous No.23294466]

>>23294434
It's definitely not. You're overthinking it.

You don't need any special grammar knowledge,* you just need to bear in mind the two basic rules: (1) if the part of the sentence after the comma could instead come after a period, and (2) if that part isn't introduced by a coordinating conjunction ('and', 'but', 'so'), then you've got yourself a comma splice.

The example you replied to couldn't come after a period, so it doesn't meet rule (1). This is how it would look with a period:
>Don't rely on a tool, because if you can't see them yourself. You seriously [etc.]
'You seriously [etc]' belongs to the relative clause beginning 'because', so it can't stand as a separate sentence.

(*It's deliberate.)

[Anonymous No.23294475]

>>23294434
Commas are a bitch, I won't disagree with you there. But I'm specifically referring to the classic comma splice error, where you literally just smash two independent clauses together.
like:
Kono looked around the elder's hovel, it smelled overwhelmingly of herbs and flowers.
Or Google's example:
He loves cooking, he's great at making curries.
In my comment
>Uh, just use your brain? Comma splices are obvious. Don't rely on a tool, because if you can't see them yourself, you seriously need to go retake a few English classes and start paying more attention to your prose.
Things are a little more complicated. Putting a comma before 'because' is sometimes correct and sometimes incorrect, and I couldn't point to the exact rule why.
The other anon says the second comma is wrong, but "if you cant't see them yourself, you seriously need to ..." also feels correct to me.
English sucks, and I think even plenty of published authors will get confused with commas sometimes. But the classic comma splices are obvious and egregious, and you absolutely have to fix them. It marks you as a new writer (or one who doesn't care)

[Anonymous No.23294487]

>>23294475
>>23294466

Thanks for the advice, reading back through my intro it's full of these things. I guess I was just trying to make the language flow better rather than feel all staccato like with short sentences.

[Anonymous No.23294489]

>>23294452
Not sure. I don't know the short story scene. What, probably magazines? Or write a bunch and publish it as a collection? Maybe on Substack or similar sites? But definitely not web serial sites, lol. Though again, you can, just nobody will read it, probably

[Anonymous No.23294493]

>>23294487
NTA but I'm confused now.

And look at that. He made another comma splice.
or
And look at that, he made another comma splice.

Is the bottom correct?

[Anonymous No.23294511]

>>23294493
The bottom is a comma splice, but it's fine in anything except very formal prose. In fiction I would say it's fine. 'And look at that' is very conversational, which, I guess, is why the comma splice is acceptable in this context.

Samuel Beckett, incidentally, used to use comma splices all the time. E.g,:
>We underestimate this little hole, it seems to me, we call it the arsehole and affect to despise it.

[Anonymous No.23294518]

>>23294487
Well, being all staccato with too many short sentences is also bad. But throwing in grammar errors everywhere is obviously not the right way to fix that.
You could just add the conjunction
>Kono looked around the elder's hovel, and it smelled overwhelmingly of herbs and flowers.
You could make it into a dependent clause
>Kono looked around the elder's hovel, which smelled overwhelmingly of herbs and flowers.
Or restructure/change the sentence to convey the same idea.
>Kono surveyed the elder's hovel, the pungent scents of herbs and flowers hanging heavily in the air.
Whatever. Just don't comma splice. It's gross.

[Anonymous No.23294525]

>>23294487
It's not the end of the world if you're just writing pulpy smut. Judging by your engagement metrics your piece is pretty popular, so you must be doing something right. Keep at it and fix mistakes in editing. Don't let fear of bad habits keep you from writing.

[Anonymous No.23294526]

>>23294493
Yes, commas are weird, that's why I specifically referred to the 'classic' comma splice, which is two normal clauses slammed together. "Look at that" is like, some kind of conversational command, not a typical clause.
"The dog is brown, the cat is white."
That's a typical comma splice. And your work has a bunch of them. (Including the very first line, which is why I was grossed out.)

[Anonymous No.23294531]

>>23285914
Does this have rape implications:
>Supposedly Stris would know their preferences, after all, most village lasses had embraced him, in one way or another…

[Anonymous No.23294532]

>>23294489
In my experience substack rewards frequent posts. I don't so much fiction but I know a fic guy who has grown well on it by uploading regularly crossposting his stories to reddit and such.

Obviously you can take it as seriously as you want though.

[Anonymous No.23294533]

>>23294531
>multiple posts about comma splices
>anon posts this

Am I just seeing things now, or is this sentence a mess of splicing?

[Anonymous No.23294538]

>>23294533
Yes. That's the obvious type of comma splicing I was talking about, which 100% needs to be fixed
>Supposedly, Stris would know their preferences. After all, most village lasses had embraced him, in one way or another...

>>23294531
I don't see why that has rape implications. To me it just seems like he gets around

[Anonymous No.23294541]

>>23294533
its spreading

[Anonymous No.23294542]

>>23294533
This is cracking me up.

[Anonymous No.23294543]

>>23294531
>My MC has an edgy cool guy name, "Stris"
>And he totally fucks all the girls bro

It's just boring is all.

[Anonymous No.23294575]

>>23294391
No.

[Anonymous No.23294589]

>>23294543
He isn't MC but a side character, and Stris is a nickname, his forename is "Strislag", which is a dithematic name from the words "striste" (meaning. tough) and "yulag" (meaning servant).

[Anonymous No.23294610]

>>23294589
Holy mother of comma splice. Are you guys just fucking with me at this point?

[Anonymous No.23294618]

>>23294610
It's a fucking forum comment you dweeb, splices are fine in casual context, OBVIOUSLY. Your book shouldn't have the same grammar standards as your 4chan comments

[Anonymous No.23294623]

>>23294391
Yes

[Anonymous No.23294627]

>>23293906
I actually read this whole thing. At first it seemed too amateur, but you really came into your own the further I read.

+Good characters
+Creative use of the fantasy setting
+Good action (Both combat and sex)
+World building, which is a staple of any fantasy story, was done naturally.
+Fast paced

-Comma splicing all over, this needs another editing pass
-At some points you use words that just don't exist. "Leaped" leapt out at me
-The intro could be stronger. There are good ideas there, but your first sentence really needs to capture the reader.
-The sex scene was high quality but also incredibly indulgent. I know this was posted to an erotica site, but if you want to capture a real audience with your solid characters and world building you're going to want to tone it down.

[Anonymous No.23294644]

>>23294452
I've got my shortstories on Adimverse and on my Patreon. I haven't posted them to RR because, as others said, the site is much more geared toward highly longform content.

[Anonymous No.23294646]

>>23294459
>What kind of story is it?
The perils of man and surrendering to temptation, inspired by the writings of the great Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokev.

[Anonymous No.23294647]

>>23294627
Leaped and leapt are both commonly used and accepted in English

Telling an erotica writer to write less indulgent sex scenes is absolutely hilarious. Haven't even read the story you're talking about but there's nearly a 0% chance this is good advice. If it's erotica, the sex scenes need to be indulgent. That's the whole point. Only if you're writing "real books" with sex scenes thrown in should it be "Tuned down". And seeing how this is literally posted to literotica ... it's erotica, dude

[Anonymous No.23294652]

>>23294618
says you lmao

[Anonymous No.23294655]

>>23294627
>puts comma splicing in the cons
>has a comma splice in that very bullet point

Ok, you guys are fucking with me. Thanks for the review though.

[Anonymous No.23294656]

>>23294652
says me? the dude who said ignoring grammar in 4chan comments is fine, ignored grammar in his 4chan comment?
"says you" implies I'm being hypocritical. wtf are you on about

[Anonymous No.23294661]

>>23294656

[Anonymous No.23294666]

>>23294646

Pretty sure Ao3 is the only place that will take that kind of content.

[Anonymous No.23294667]

>>23294661
I would be very surprised if that's intentional bait. He doesn't seem like a troll, just dumb

[Anonymous No.23294669]

>All this talk of metrics
>Not just using VPNs and premade dummy accounts to artificially boost your day one traffic guaranteeing a larger audience

[Anonymous No.23294685]

>>23294669
Lol this might get you slightly better stats but if you can't reach trending on your own merit then it's gonna be a flop regardless. People on RoyalRoad do this, where they try everything they can to cheese their way onto Rising Stars (the 'popular new' page) and then they will literally just die at the bottom of that list. Whereas the stories who hit rising stars organically will keep climbing (and have real fans to begin with, which will convert to long-term fans and patreon supporters)
Cheesing algorithms does ""technically"" help, but you could also just worry about writing something that people want to read. It'll serve you much better in the long run

[Anonymous No.23294711]

>>23294685
Ah yes, earn the favor of the massive "I'll read this story with 0 views and 0 likes" audience.

[Anonymous No.23294712]

How is this?

[Anonymous No.23294722]

>>23294711
The people who sort by new and click on blurbs/titles/covers that interest them? Yeah, that's how all the new authors get discovered and start to blow up on RoyalRoad and other web novel sites.
Getting huge cope vibes from you friend. Did your own serial flop or something? Don't turn to coping. It's a dark path. Accept you need to do better, then do better

[Anonymous No.23294723]

>>23294712
Better than most of the garbage in this thread.

[Anonymous No.23294726]

>>23294723
Personally I thought it was trite and unimaginative

[Anonymous No.23294730]

There is nothing wrong with writing audience pleasing pulp or erotica.

Unless it's fan fiction. Fan fiction is always bad.

[Anonymous No.23294734]

>>23294730
Nah fanfiction can be great. Most of it is shit but some of it is quality. That's true for every outlet of human creativity, just in different ratios (if admittedly fanfiction has an especially overwhelming amount of crap)
Why would pulp and smut be fine, but fanfiction isn't? Very inconsistent ideology imo, would like to hear you expand on this perspective

[Anonymous No.23294737]

>>23294730
But erotic Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction?

[Anonymous No.23294740]

>>23294730
There is a kind of sub-pulp where you wonder if your audience can chew their own food. You have to imagine them clapping every time you write the catchphrase and getting lost every time you write a sentence as long and complex as this one, little though it is.

I'd prefer writing middlebrow fanfiction like I did in my teens.

[Anonymous No.23294746]

>>23294730
There are worse things than fanfiction. Take a gander at scribblehub and all the litrpg harm anime inspired dreck.

[Anonymous No.23294748]

>>23294740
Yeah but at least those types fork over their cash easily enough

[Anonymous No.23294752]

>>23294746
PYW

[Anonymous No.23294753]

>>23294746
As a writer of litrpg harem anime inspired dreck, I bite my thumb at you

[Anonymous No.23294756]

>>23294373
what sound is that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIf3IfHCoiE

[Anonymous No.23294759]

ITT: Filthy slop-consuming pigs attempt to establish a hierarchy, despite all of them being equally disgusting in the eyes of real humans

[Anonymous No.23294761]

>>23294748
There are larger or more profitable niche audiences who will forgive quite a bit if you give them what they want. The problem is that I don't live in the third world so I can't profit from it, it's honestly more engaging to work fast food and you get paid more by the hour.

[Anonymous No.23294772]

>>23294761
Have you actually worked fast food? Because I can't imagine sitting in a comfy chair, sipping coffee, and writing some stupid dreck is worse than the food and service industries. Don't be melodramatic. I don't, but could totally write the stupidest and most trite shit in the world and not feel especially bad about it. It's literally just typing words, bro

[Anonymous No.23294774]

>>23294759
Oh great, he's about to regal us about whatever nazi philosophy writing /lit/ told him about recently.

[Anonymous No.23294780]

>>23294774
It's just funny to see litrpg writers say that they're better than erotica writers who say that they're better than fanfiction writers. Maybe you don't get it, but like I said, the real humans are laughing their asses off

[Anonymous No.23294794]

>>23294780
I'm not familiar with litrpg because of how young it is, but erotica and fan fiction writers have been at war for a long time.

[Anonymous No.23294798]

>>23294794
Litrpg is just the topical fill-in word for worthless genre pulp

[Anonymous No.23294802]

>>23294772
I can't imagine being able to live off it, it's sub poverty pay. Not like what I like to write is profitable, but at least I get something out of it that I wouldn't trying to sit around working a sub-minimum wage job on top of the half decent one. Just tell me you're brown or get a disability check and I can respect that. It's everyone who thinks writing is profitable for anyone else that needs a reality check.

[Anonymous No.23294809]

>>23294802
Uh, you serious? Erotica, pulp romance, even litrpg have some ridiculous earners, and they're all formulaic trash. What kinds of stories are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.23294814]

>>23294798
Genre pulp has it's place, and some can even be enjoyable/unique. Fan fiction can never be it's own thing. It always relies on previous knowledge and lacks any sense of discovery or exploration for the reader. I feel the same way about the painfully generic like isekai anime harem crap.

[Anonymous No.23294819]

>>23294814
Please see my original comment. It's all slop. Trying to divide it into tiers is hilarious

[Anonymous No.23294830]

>>23294809
You are not a .01% earner in an overcrowded environment. Maybe you are that one anon, but people think it's shooting fish in a barrel and it isn't. His numbers aren't super impressive either. I make more and work less than most of them at a day job I don't entirely hate. That was my point. Take your shot but don't expect to live off it or live around it.

[Anonymous No.23294831]

>>23294819
fanfiction is still worse. its like reheating last week's meatloaf

[Anonymous No.23294835]

>>23294830
Which anon are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.23294840]

>>23294830
I feel like we're having two totally different conversations here, dude.

[Anonymous No.23294847]

>>23294835
The one who pulls around $2500 to 3k a month on some fetish shit he knows inside out and doesn't have to ask basic questions about. He's pretty cool and we've talked about how fucked it is and some higher level writing concerns that usually get no replies in this thread.

That's another point, most anons trying to write this shit are too retarded to understand basic abnormal psychology and how to exploit it.

[Anonymous No.23294852]

>>23294830
I would love to write for minimum wage. Literally anything desu

[Anonymous No.23294857]

>>23294847
Wait there's an anon who posted his patreon earnings around that much a bit ago but i thought he was litrpg, not fetish stuff

[Anonymous No.23294867]

>>23294857
There are at least three, and another who writes romance for women on Amazon. And another who recently published a horror anthology, but I'd have to hunt for that one.

[Anonymous No.23294871]

>>23294867
Man who knew /wg/ was winning so hard. I thought we all sucked here

[Anonymous No.23294885]

>>23294871
None of them post here, at least not with any regularity, and most of them want nothing to do with this place at all. I sure wouldn't.

[Anonymous No.23294900]

>>23294867
>>23294871
Found it.

[Anonymous No.23294971]

>>23294666
It's SFW though, mostly. Only some (flat) titillation.

[Anonymous No.23295036]

>>23293660
thanks

[Anonymous No.23295254]

>>23294730
Fanfiction is fun to read and write.

[Anonymous No.23295312]

>>23295254
post a single good fan fiction

[Anonymous No.23295329]

>>23295312
I said fun not good.

[Anonymous No.23295350]

Where's a good place to find beta readers/editors? For free obviously.

[Anonymous No.23295377]

>>23295350
Free? Obviously nowhere, besides friends and family

[Anonymous No.23295390]

>>23285914
Well, it took 4 days, but I was able to put together 2,000 words for the first chapter.
Now, I just have to find the courage to post here so I can be told how terrible it is.

[Anonymous No.23295396]

>>23295350
Don't listen to that anon, you can get beta-readers by trading.
/r/writing
/r/destructivereaders
/r/betareaders
There are also numerous Discord servers devoted for trade.
Or you can just post it here.

[Anonymous No.23295401]

>>23295396
You only get good results if there's a token system, and even then it isn't that great on reddit. /r/writing is total shit and half the more popular subs are practically dead after the whole API shitstorm.

[Anonymous No.23295433]

>>23295390
please give it an edit or two before doing so, thanks
both for our sake and yours

[Anonymous No.23295443]

>>23289416
The two idiots seething about AI (you know, "hurr durr muh soul" and "hurr durr drink the Kool-Aid") clearly don't work with AI. They're most likely incel NEET shutins with room temperature IQs who are acting out because they know they can be replaced with AI.

[Anonymous No.23295448]

>>23295396
i assumed free meant free, not via a system of trade...I'm which case I'm right.
You're just buying it with your time

[Anonymous No.23295451]

>>23295443
oh God not you again please go away no one cares

[Anonymous No.23295459]

>>23295451
Speak for yourself, seether.

[Anonymous No.23295460]

>>23295443
>AI
>hey guys AI
>wowie AI
would you fuck off already?

[Anonymous No.23295465]

>>23295390
Why? What's the point in getting feedback when you're such a stark beginner? Just write what you want and feel things out for a while. Would you submit your first shitty life drawing for critique too? Your first stick figure? Just silly

[Anonymous No.23295468]

>>23295466
>>23295466
>>23295466

[Anonymous No.23295473]

>>23295443
I want you to acknowledge how btfo you got by the anon who copy pasted your bickering and it called you a moron (in nice ai speak)

[Anonymous No.23295484]

>>23295460
>hurr durr AI is just using what other people wrote, and not having the brains, skills, or talent to do it yourself
It gives me a headache to think down to your level.

[Anonymous No.23295493]

>>23295473
I don't recall getting BTFO'd.

[Anonymous No.23295499]

>>23295493
interesting

[Anonymous No.23296440]

>>23294413
iirc, it was called Amp, after the ampersand.
No idea about the creative processes or programs used though.