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/lit/ - Literature


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23247758 No.23247758 [Reply] [Original]

What would you rate my poem out of 10?

>> No.23247783

>>23247758
sucks ass

>> No.23247788

>>23247758

4

>> No.23247792

>>23247783
>>23247788
You won't even explain why?

>> No.23247796

>>23247792
no sorry

>> No.23247797

>>23247758
14

as in an angsty 14 year old wrote it. That or a woman, which is arguably worse.

>> No.23247800

>>23247797
why would it matter if a woman wrote it?

>> No.23247816

>>23247758
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkNPuaulLaA&ab_channel=BlakeBalance

>> No.23247834

>>23247800
because we hate women you idiot libtard

>> No.23247839

>>23247800
With the exception of Emily Bronte and maybe Virginia Woolf, women have written nothing worthwhile.
You are nowhere close to either, the slop you wrote is worse than Rupi Kaur. At least she made money on her garbage.

>> No.23247842
File: 1.23 MB, 1256x1256, Swift.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23247842

>>23247783
>>23247788
>>23247792
>>23247796
>>23247797
>>23247800
>>23247816
>>23247834
I'm afraid you all failed the test. This wasn't a poem written by some random nobody, this was written by 14 time Grammy award winning wordsmith, 155 IQ Time's Person of the Year Taylor Swift, for her upcoming album, The Tortured Poet's Department, out April 19th.

>> No.23247847

>>23247839
You failed >>23247842

>> No.23247855

>>23247847
Doesn't contradict what I said. And I was correct, it was written by a woman. Spot on, seems your bait has failed.

>> No.23247857

>>23247842
ah, fuck! I look like a buffoon!

>> No.23247858

No no anon
True poetry is supposed to sound borderline incoherent and full of ancient misused words, and metaphor usage that is ill fitting

>> No.23247861

>>23247839
>With the exception of Emily Bronte and maybe Virginia Woolf
Forgetting Austen, Sontag, Plath

>> No.23247868

>>23247861
No, I didn't. Not worth mentioning.

>> No.23247872

>>23247868
you did, however, forget Simone Weil

>> No.23247874 [DELETED] 

>>23247842
>155 IQ
It's amazing how many women actually believe this when her IQ is likely under 100. Ever notice how the vocabulary of her lyrics increased as soon as she got rid of her rich Daddy's ghostwwriters and brought on that one jew from FUN and the dude from THE NATIONAL.

Now all of a sudden she's a thesaurus. And she gets credit for speeches obviously written by other people, and credit for print interviews obviously done through her publicist.

But when you see her in an actual interview on video, where she can't totally control the narrative, no amount of prep time can cure the retardation of that High School dropout.

Among her retardations is the following:
>Confusing cricket with rugby and pretending she knows what cricket is (Graham Norton, feat. John Cleese)
>When asked if she's a warrior: "Yes, I worry a lot. I worry about everything. Like...like...everything.
>Not knowing how to use chopsticks despite being in her 20s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bkqM0Nll0E)), Not watching the people around her to learn.
>Touching fire (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCH_p6cxYiI))

Funnily enough, everyone jokes about how she's smarter than her new football playing bf when he actually has a bachelor's and is a better natural speaker and built a 40 million dollar net worth without any help from a multi-millionaire daddy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgpzZr4mE34).).

The reason she can't keep a man is because she's stupid, boring, and dull. When the novelty of her pop stardom wears off, the tight end will leave too.

>> No.23247879

>>23247872
You forgot my cock in your ass, faggot. OP, delete this gay nigger "gotcha" thread immediately. You aren't funny or creative and I'm very tired of this nonsense.

>> No.23247883

>>23247879
it is actually MY cock which is in YOUR ass

>> No.23247892

>>23247879
>I'm very tired of this nonsense.
Because you proved yourself to be a pseud. Leave the thread nigger, and suck my dick on your way out.

>> No.23247910

>>23247892
The only pseud here is the nigger posting off topic threads trying to be witty, and then getting mad when he was found out before he can even pull his "GOTCHA" out. I said it was written by a woman and disregarded your stupid bait before you even had a chance to say "haha acksually a celebrity did this!"

Do yourself a favor and stop being a fucking nigger anytime. Really, it's free to NOT post shitty threads, you ought to try it. You don't have to do anything at all.

>> No.23247923

>>23247910
You didn't bother to check if the poem was written by anyone. You assumed some random faggot wrote it, when it was written by someone who thousands of people claim to be a poet.

Hell, she'll probably win a Pulitzer for music like that illiterate nigger Kendrick Lamar. And here you are criticizing a poem and your only critique is "a woman wrote it", as if poetry hasn't been written by faggots, effeminate dandies, and women throughout history.

You say certain poets are shit, yet you can't explain why. You are incapable of producing an analysis. You have a conclusion based on your bias, supported by no evidence.

You have nothing to say. All you can do is try to bash anonymous people, but you were found out. You''re a fraud.

>> No.23247934

>>23247923
Nice word salad, but you're the one with something to prove here, not anyone else. You have absolutely nothing better to do than to try and farm (You)s here by acting in bad faith. Nobody will do research on your trash bait thread. Nobody cares about the name attached, either, as you can see by the replies. Living vicariously through celebrities is a sad existence. I'd pity you, but you aren't worth the oxygen you breathe. In short, kill yourself for making stupid off topic threads, nigger.

>> No.23247935

>>23247758
The third line is off by a syllable. I don’t think it’s as terrible an effort as people here are saying though.

>> No.23248013

>>23247934
>Nobody cares
>Here is my rebuttal in a paragraph I took the time to write because I don't care

>>23247935
Variation. Poets do it all the time. Sometimes some poets use a trochee in iambic pentameter

>> No.23248022

>>23247861
Dickinson, Charlotte Bronte, Bathsheba (author of Genesis, Exodus, and Numbers), Zora Neale Hurston, Toni Morrison

>> No.23248026

>>23247842
>My muses, acquired like bruises
fucking screams taylor swift... shoulda got that one

>> No.23248029

wtf is taylor swif? is it an american thing?

>> No.23248038

Does she actually think she's a poet? Is it possible to be so insulated from the real world that this woman sincerely thinks the lyrics she writes are even GOOD, let alone comparable to actual, published poetry?

>> No.23248042

>>23248038
She lives in a bubble. She can't even deal with light-hearted jokes in public (takes them as offense). Peak fragility.

>> No.23248043

>>23248038
>>23248042
forgot to add: but to answer your question, yes, she thinks she's a poet.

>> No.23248046

>>23248038
>implying she writes anything herself

Her writing process is probably this : hey writing team, write a revenge song on my ex who was not good enough for me, and did not appreciate my value enough. Make it sound both like I'm the victim but also make it empowering. Thanks

>> No.23248049

>>23248043
>yes, she thinks she's a poet
That's depressing as hell. People seethed relentlessly that fucking Bob Dylan, probably the greatest lyricist of all time, got recognized as a poet, and this narcissistic bitch has the audacity to call herself a "tortured poet"?

>> No.23248053

>>23248046
If her lyrics are written by a team, there is no excuse for them being as mediocre and as forgettable as they are. That's the main reason I think she writes at least most of them.

>> No.23248068

>>23248053
There is no incentive to write better lyrics. She's immensely successful with this strategy. It probably would be counter productive considering the average age and IQ of her fan base

>> No.23248094

>>23248049
She's also trying to become a film director and producer. I guess when you have the money you can buy your way in.

>> No.23248420

>>23248013
I'm just telling you to fucking kill yourself, you stupid nigger. Get off of this board.

>> No.23248446

>>23247758
it's in english, 0/10

>> No.23248941

>>23248420
No I think I'll stay.

>> No.23248961
File: 195 KB, 303x565, 5f6.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23248961

>>23247758
>All's fair in love and poetry...

>> No.23249030

>>23248013
> Variation. Poets do it all the time. Sometimes some poets use a trochee in iambic pentameter

I’m not an expert, but wouldn’t switching an iambic foot to a trochee still leave the same amount of syllables? It would just be two long syllables instead of a short syllable followed by a long one.

>> No.23249044

I liked it until the last line. Had a nice rhythm and flow that comes to a screeching halt for a line that feels a bit cliche.

>> No.23249045

>>23249030
*a long syllable followed by a short one rather than a short syllable followed by a long one.

>> No.23249330

>>23247758
I don't know what it is about poetry. Like from a technical perspective this poem seems fine, but it just instinctually feels terrible when I'm reading it

>> No.23249340

>>23247758
it rhymes so 0/10

>> No.23249505

>>23247758
0/10
It's gay

>> No.23249567

>>23247758
About on par with the worst poem submitted in a creative writing class. The last line is especially trite. The best aspect(in class you usually have to give one) is the "tick tick tick" line with it's "creative" formating, but even that is trite. The first couple lines of the poem are okay, although they remain in a very abstract place that doesn't engage the reader or say anything particularly memorable.

You need more specifics to the theme. Some imagery or clearly personal lines could help. As it is now, it is more of a greeting card than a poem.

>> No.23249596

>>23247758
Random DI6 track tier.

>> No.23249941

>>23247758
>I
>My
>My
>My
>My
dramatic self indulgence masked as a story of overcoming hardship is annoying and boring. this is the exact type of thing that a social media addicted person with narcissistic tendencies considers good art (taylor swift fans + herself).

>> No.23249963
File: 289 KB, 720x400, pooh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23249963

>>23247758
biofem nonsense

>> No.23250015

>>23247758
10 because the wording exemplifies bodily positions of a corporal reading of the Arabic-based numerals.

>> No.23250071

>>23249330
Your intuition is correct. Also, from a technical perspective it's not good. It's not horrific, but it very much reads like an inexperienced amateur wrote it.

There are some tiny indicators that the person who wrote it (either Taylor or one of her team members) has some rudimentary skill. The internal rhyme in the third line sounds pleasant and the second and fourth lines work passably together, despite the simple and unoriginal imagery. But everything else is garbage.

>> No.23250134

I'm always afraid to write poetry because I know it's going to turn out like this

>> No.23250162

>>23250134
Everyone's first poems suck. Just keep writing and keep reading and once you finally have one that you think might be decent, you can share it with others. They'll probably still rip it to shreds, but by that point you'll be dedicated enough to the craft that the criticism won't deter you.

>> No.23250184

>>23247758
It's okay, not much substance here though
There's some awkward rhythm throughout; "muses, acquired like bruises" sounds messy and almost gave me a bruise stumbling through it. There must be a better word than "acquired" that would serve the poem better
I like some of the imagery, "tarnished coat of arms" is good, "veins of pitch black ink" is certainly vivid. On the other hand, "muses" doesn't give me much of an image at all, nor does "talismans and charms", these are very vague terms
Rhyme scheme sucks, you had an ABCB scheme going and then got distracted by "tick tick tick" and forgot all about it
"tick tick tick" is interesting but it feels kind of cheap, I want there to be something more satisfying about where it leads me to, having just "love bombs" is kind of stupid and completely soils the anticipation that was being built up there
Not sure about the setting or characters, the speaker seems to be a character offering evidence about something related to love or poetry but I'm not really able to piece it together. And aside from love and poetry the only other themes I get are body parts (arms, bruises, veins) and maybe family artifacts (coat of arms, talismans, charms).
In its current state I'd give it like a 3. But if the idea is "all's fair in poetry" then I doubt you actually give much of a shit what I think about your poem. Then again, the fact you're asking for a grade means maybe you're not fully convinced yet of that yourself?
>>23247842
Oh.

>> No.23250266

>>23248941
Kill yourself nigger. Fucking useless jannies, this shit thread is still up.