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23176604 No.23176604 [Reply] [Original]

"Behavioral Problems" edition

Previous: >>23154843

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmNfPkdCRf8

>> No.23176650

She spun the diner around on the little of her finger, perhaps by the forks of its parking stripes- painful, or cranium of its entranceway- dry and i could not tell. The suggestion had to me as soon as she spoke up her finger from fist, like the spoke of an elephant sitting on a swamplands submarine. Somewhere to go when its late. A 24 hours diner, we could play the buzzing of old neon from youtube if it didnt have it, i urged to her. Still spinning, but slower now, toddling on her finger, the diner. Maybe old truckers would be there cattle crossing over the smudges on the window, maybe hats would be on tables, I coughed. Waitresses to skate over on glazed donuts, hair done up with straws full of frozen lemonade. Sat in a boot, salivating the tongue of some great porcupines aunt. Her across from me, then besides. Lemongrass legs over mine like a tic tac toe, sitting up, the church of her head back against the window as much as sea moss grows over and old statue plaque. Or across and legs up and bleating against the indivisable mop of air and baconic fry while she works out sailers knots in the ungrown plush of the booth. Sit ups and stands to reset each time. A frosted over gambler and a bookie. A bushy eyed sitting room wife and a private detective. Siren chasers or two after party friends left after their friends left to hook up. One smile and id snap a fry against her cheek like a glow stick. A giggle and she'd have to play silent like the caulk in the tiling for a minute, though i could sense her toes were cheating. Enminutude, the draft would let in a new flavor for the tread of our shoes to lose shape in. Once it was the salt shaker, whose tired aluminum bell glinted favorably at a lugnut bearded man who sat one row and 4 booths down from us

>> No.23176707

On the morning of the interview, Gunn rampaged naked through his hotel room, searching everything like a heroin addict looking for his stash.

“Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?”

He yanked open the drawer to the TV stand, making the ancient flat screen wobble. Old, laminated sheets of paper. A TV guide and menus for restaurants long closed. He grabbed and flung them across the room.

“Damn it!”

He pivoted, grabbed his suitcase for the tenth time and yanked out every pocket until it hung upside down with its guts ripped out. He jammed both hands through his wavy brown hair. “Just think, idiot, think,” he hissed.

The duffel bag was thrust open with such force that the zipper tore off. He searched it violently for the tenth time, probing even the recesses far too small to hold it. He’d checked it ten times already, but where else could it be? Did it fall out of his bag? Was it stolen?

His fingers grasped something round and pliant, and he tore it out. A small, orange-colored bottle emerged. He gave it a shake, heard the satisfying sound of pills rattling. He sighed relief.

The clock on the wall read 6:58. He pulled himself up and went to the bathroom. He popped the cap on the bottle, tapping out a single capsule into his palm. He tipped his head back, threw the pill in his mouth, and held it between his cheeks.

The faucet squeaked on, milky-colored water sputtering out. It cleared in a few seconds, and he bent forward, slurping up the chalky water.
“Ahh,” he sighed, hanging onto the edge of the sink.

When his head lifted, his naked reflection in the mirror greeted him with a relieved smile. Though there wasn’t much in the mirror to smile about. There weren’t many fat ass White people these days, and he would stand out in a crowd.

He sighed and glanced at the pill bottle in his hand. The army psychiatrist said I’d gain a little weight as a side effect. No one said I’d turn into a bipedal whale.

He walked back into the main room. Fat slob or not, the important thing was he found the pills. Nobody was getting murdered by him today.

That thought made his smile vanish.

>> No.23176752

Nuke Decker was going to kill the bitch.

He sat in the parking lot of her workplace, hunched over in his wheelchair, checking the gun concealed in his jacket. Twenty rounds, plus one in the chamber. More than enough to ventilate the cunt and any other nearby roastie trash.

The sun rose over the Central Mall, reflecting light off the shiny surfaces of the artificial lake and fountain abutting the freshly-paved and rapidly-filling parking lot.

Nuke pressed down on the joystick, propelling his wheelchair forward with a low hum. Around
him, people from all walks of life moved in a chaotic dance of consumerism; the majority of them overweight, their bodies jostling against each other in their hurried pursuit of the next purchase. Amidst this sea of humanity, Nuke was a solitary island, virtually invisible to those around him. The world flowed around him, people glancing briefly in his direction before their gaze slid away, dismissing him as inconsequential. He was used to it though. The constant reminders of his insignificance in the grand tapestry of life.

Nuke's wheelchair rolled through the automatic doors, bringing him into the brightly lit expanse of the mall. Everywhere he looked, the temples of consumerism rose around him – gleaming storefronts displaying the latest gadgets, the most fashionable clothes, all designed to prey on the desires and insecurities of bloated, dopamine-resistant masses milling about. The air was thick with the scent of fast food. People, their faces glued to their smartphones, bumped into one another in their mindless pursuit of the next shiny object to fill the void in their shit lives on this shit earth.

Thankfully, Nuke wouldn't be alive much longer.

>> No.23176843

w-writing in...le wg?

>> No.23177164

Any advice on coming up with a plot? I can write well, but I have no idea where to start in terms of actual premise.

>> No.23177167

The villain of my "math arc" is an imaginary number trying to create "negative number" copies of the students of Highscholtown (name pending) who will kill and replace them, bringing about an age of negativity. Unfortunately it's been at least a decade since I took a math class and I'm kinda retarded to begin with. Am I correct in that a "square root" machine would be the best "mathy" macguffin to accomplish such a heinous crime? Since the square root of 1 (an individual) can be either +1 or -1.

>> No.23177183

>>23177164
I never understand these questions. Do you not have character ideas? Are you a NEET? Do you not talk to other people and find them interesting? Do you not have an imagination that drifts off? Do you not wonder why a thing is the way it is and wonder how it could be different?

>> No.23177202

>>23177183
Take it easy. The issue is not that I'm devoid of imagination, but rather that I'm currently incapable of making these creative ideas a cohesive whole. I can have an idea for a character or perhaps some dialogue, but I have no idea how that can become a full fledged plot. I essentially just need a writing prompt, a single good idea that I can elaborate upon.

>> No.23177206

>>23177167
The square root of any positive number can be either real or negative.
Minus multiplicated minus gives you a positive.
Only - x + gives you negatives.

>> No.23177361

What is needed is precisely this: a sense of wonder and light feet. We must forget ourselves and glide over the cosmic infinitude, to bathe in the wondrous ether of now. To float, to breathe, to fly. But not too high, not too low. To lose our sense of gravity, to acquire lightness instead. And above all to dance, and above all to laugh.

>> No.23177364

>>23177202
This is something ChatGPT is actually very useful for (if you are decent at engineering hi-fidelity prompts).

>> No.23177373

>>23177202
I gave the same prompt to another anon who needed one, but I wouldn't worry about it since two people are likely to make different enough stories since these aren't exact outlines.
During the death of the old west it is also the death of magic, and a journalist from New York has been sent to write about both.
The town where he is sent has a sheriff named Copperhead, a golem from ancient times when magic was still very powerful.
The other prompt I gave out is that an immortal superhero is put in charge of a group of young heroes as punishment because the man is a PR nightmare on account of his old ways of thinking and indignant manners.
Something off the top of my head and more grounded is two soldiers, or groups of soldiers during WW1 or 2 are trapped in a bunker after a bombing and need to work together to escape.

>> No.23177431

i'm not very good at this

>> No.23177446
File: 103 KB, 1010x879, 1708301758391117.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23177446

ChatGPT called my writing a "work of originality and brilliance"

>> No.23177449

>>23177183
>Do you not talk to other people and find them interesting?
Not in the slightest... at least when I talk to them. I've got a real keen interest in human nature, but I rarely have the presence of mind to observe it in person. I prefer candid interviews and other media where I can be a pure, unobserved third person in the room.

>> No.23177456

>>23177446
Chat gpt is too kind to tell you when your shit sucks (I’m not saying your shit particularly sucks, it’s more of a genral statement. I have feed it with multiple imatances of absolute garbage and it almos never tells me it’s bat and compliments some aspect of it

>> No.23177462

>>23177456
I ask it about the sophistication of language use in particular. I don't load the question in any way. If you feed it the work of your average everyman writer, it will not say nice things.

>> No.23177469
File: 421 KB, 828x858, 1708521658661159.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23177469

>>23177456
Isn't it also possible that I'm actually brilliant?

>> No.23177689

>>23177469
Copy paste some comments in this thread and tell ChatGPT that's your writing, see what it thinks. It's a sycophant.

>> No.23177696

>>23177469
>frogposter
No.

>> No.23177716

>>23177689
I had it compare three passages of text. The first was >>23176752, the second an excerpt from my (ridiculous) epic poem I'm working on, and the third was my favorite passage by McCarthy from Suttree:

Evaluating the quality of wordcraft alone, without considering personal taste or thematic content, involves looking at the sophistication of language, the effectiveness of literary devices, the depth of imagery, and the overall coherence and impact of the writing. Here’s a brief analysis of each passage by these standards:

First Passage: The narrative is direct and visceral, with strong imagery and a clear voice. However, it relies heavily on shock value and uses derogatory language that detracts from its literary quality. While it effectively conveys the protagonist's perspective and the setting, its use of language is less sophisticated compared to the other passages.

Second Passage: This passage demonstrates a high level of language mastery, with complex imagery, allusions, and a rich vocabulary. It engages deeply with themes through its wordcraft, creating a layered and nuanced narrative. The use of literary devices is both sophisticated and effective, contributing to a powerful and evocative reading experience.

Third Passage: The quality of wordcraft here is evident in the lyrical and evocative descriptions, the seamless blending of the protagonist's internal experience with the external world, and the subtle yet profound exploration of themes. The language is rich and atmospheric, creating a vivid and immersive narrative.

Best Written:

Based on the criteria of language sophistication and the effective use of literary devices, the second passage stands out as the best written. Its complex use of language, thematic depth, and rich imagery demonstrate a high level of wordcraft and literary artistry.

Least Effective:

The first passage, while impactful and direct, is the least effective in terms of pure wordcraft. It lacks the lexical sophistication and nuanced use of literary devices found in the other two passages, relying more on the shock value of its language and the directness of its narrative.

>> No.23177722

>>23177716
It must be wrong because it thought my writing was better than Cormac. Here's the passage of his I used, for the record:
>Suttree felt a deep and chilling lassitude go by nape and shoulderblades. He slumped and crossed his wrists in his lap. He looked at a world of incredible loveliness. Old distaff Celt's blood in some back chamber of his brain moved him to discourse with the birches, with the oaks. A cool green fire kept breaking in the woods and he could hear the footsteps of the dead. Everything had fallen from him. He scarce could tell where his being ended or the world began nor did he care. He lay on his back in the gravel, the earth's core sucking his bones, a moment's giddy vertigo with this illusion of falling outward through blue and windy space, over the offside of the planet, hurtling through the high thin cirrus. His fingers clutched up wet handfuls from the bar, polished lozenges of slate, small cold and mascled granite teardrops. He let them fall through his fingers in a smooth clatter.

>> No.23177807

It came in a box not much larger than one of the encyclopedias lined up on a shelf in their room. How could such a thing fit in there? Accent table, the ad said, crafted by one of America’s premier designers, assembly required.

It arrived around noon. His mother was so excited. We’ll wait and open it after lunch, she said.

She’d ordered the table by mail. He remembered being amazed at this. Would the postman ring the bell and hand it over? Your table’s here, ma’am. You circle a number, enclose a check, a table shows up at your door. That’s magic enough. But it also comes in this tiny box?

He was nine years old that day. Sitting at the kitchen table holding a peanut butter sandwich while his mother drummed fingers on the counter.

Through? she said.

There was still half a sandwich on his plate and he was hungry, but he nodded. Always agree. That was the first rule.

She swept his plate away, into a stack of others by the sink.

So let’s have a look.

Lovingly she laid out components on the floor. Lengths of cheap contoured metal, wedges of rubber, baggies of screws and fittings.

His mother’s eyes kept returning to the instruction sheet as, moment by moment, piece by piece, she assembled the table. By the time feet had been fitted with rubber stoppers and the bottom half of legs were in place, the expression on her face, to which he was ever attentive, had gone from happy to puzzled. As she spliced on upper legs and cross-supports, her expression turned sad. That prospect of sadness spread throughout her body, washed out into the room.

Watch closely: that was the second rule.

Mother lifted the table top out of the bottom of the box and set it in place.

An ugly, cheap-looking thing.

The world got very quiet. It stayed that way for a long time.

I don’t understand, Mother said.

She sat on the floor still, pliers and screwdrivers about her. Tears streamed down her face.

It looked so pretty in the catalog. So pretty. I don't understand.

>> No.23177818

>>23177807
I don't understand why people with an otherwise extremely conventional sense for prose stylism adopt McCarthy's quirks. I don't know if this is well- or poorly-written because it doesn't really try to be either. It just kind of "is." I don't have anything else to add because it was so bland and milquetoast I'm unable to criticize or praise it except the faint damning of mimicry.

>> No.23177863

>>23177722
Do you honestly believe it can analyse writing? It just prints out a vague, unspecific statements without references and you give those empty lines meaning, like a retard in a fortune-teller's tent

>> No.23177877

>>23177863
Who knows? I doubt its developers really understand what it can and can't be trusted with.

>> No.23177923

>>23177818
I'll never understand it either. McCarthy's writing is (mechanically speaking) so fucking obtuse and cringe that it makes reading anything of his an absolute slog. Anyone copying it has literally no idea what they're doing.

>>23177361
based

>> No.23177935
File: 7 KB, 296x170, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23177935

>AI slop general

>> No.23177976

>>23177877
>Who knows?
Anyone non-idiot. It's not literally an artificial intelligence, it's a statistical learning tool. It mixes and matches samples fed to it to produce similar results, it doesn't THINK anything

>> No.23177984

>Live life of reading due to being raised Jehovah's Witness and homeschooled in the deep south
>Turn 40
>Want to write weird fiction
>Brain too full of elder millennial brainrot from shitposting on 4chan for the majority of my life
I'm not gonna make it.

>> No.23178002

>>23177976
>It mixes and matches samples fed to it to produce similar results
There is obviously more to it than that. It's like saying "of course we know how x turned into y, we just fed it into function f!" while defining f as a statistical model that outputs, uh... y! You know, statistically! The specific way f withe is actually really important in some contexts, right?

>> No.23178003

>>23178002
>withe
*works

>> No.23178015
File: 1010 KB, 480x247, 1688307223618248.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23178015

I'm in the rewrite/editing phase of my book but it's causing me more mental strain and taking longer than the actual writing did. What do?

>> No.23178032

>>23178002
Yes, that's how machines work. They don't do things they weren't asked to do. They simply cannot. The wider the database they have to play with, the more convincing the results, but the base mechanics remain the same. Once again, sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic (in the eyes of retards)

>> No.23178040

Schizo hours

>> No.23178059

>>23178032
>Once again, sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic (in the eyes of retards)
And, apparently, in the eyes of MIT.
>https://www.technologyreview.com/2024/03/05/1089449/nobody-knows-how-ai-works/

>> No.23178063

>>23178032
But hey, stay invested in your belief that you are the supergenius who understands everything whereas anyone you talk to is hopelessly inferior.

>> No.23178285

I have a vagina now!

>> No.23178289

>>23178285
Sorry

>> No.23178294

>>23178285
Bro...

>> No.23178354

>>23178285
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPE_fXoXrQk

In The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien drew upon the language and themes found in the old Medieval hero-tales in order to construct a kind of new mythology. The brilliance of Tolkien was in his departure from the Pagan modes of conduct and morality of these old tales, his creation of a syncretistic fusion between Christian thought and Pagan language, and so his work achieved a deep resonance with all who read it.

We find this passage at the conclusion of The Return of the King:

>The Dark Lord was suddenly aware of him, and his Eye piercing all shadows looked across the plain to the door that he had made; and the magnitude of his own folly was revealed to him in a blinding flash, and all the devices of his enemies were at last laid bare.

Adversaries in the stories that Tolkien drew upon, Grendel, Mordred and the like, often served as obstacles that the heroes could overcome through feats of strength and cunning. Sauron is not like them. When Sauron is defeated, it is not because Aragorn is stronger than him or because Gandalf is wiser. They are not. It is only that his hubris was so great that it never occurred to him that anyone would want to destroy the thing he held so dear. It is not until the final few seconds of his existence that he realizes his mistake.

I think that I Am Jazz displays a similar moment. In the pictured scene, Jazz's journey to what he believes is womanhood is almost complete. He is resting after surgery, a triumphant smile on his face, his rotting groin held together by a labyrinthine patchwork of stitches and grafts. But as Eru Ilúvatar nudged Gollum over the Crack of Doom into the fires beneath, so too does the God of our world intervene in this.

>Pop!

In a second, the follies of men are undone and Jazz's crotch explodes, a meaty froth of blood and pus pouring out of the hole where his penis used to be.

In that moment of blind panic and terror, Jazz is Sauron. All triumph and victory is gone. Only the Void remains.

>> No.23178371

>>23177167
If you write x^2 = 25 then x can be either 5 or -5 but sqrt(25) is always equal to 5.

That's my understanding, anyway.

>> No.23178400

https://pastebin.com/HCCvhZNP

My first attempt at writing, what do you guys think?

>> No.23178411

>>23178059
This article says the same things I just told you almost word for word. But apparently chatgpt has better reading comprehension than you do

>> No.23178431

>>23177449
>I've got a real keen interest in human nature, but I rarely have the presence of mind to observe it in person

Then you don't have a sense of human nature. You're just an autistic misanthrope.

>> No.23178440

>>23177807
This is awful

>> No.23178468

>>23178440
Filtered.

>> No.23178512

>>23178400
boring prose

>> No.23178526

>>23178468
Filtered implies there was something to get out of the text and I somehow missed it. You actually have to put the effort in for others to get something out of it. You just read McCarthy once.

>> No.23178547

>>23178526
Gets filtered, then copes. Classic

>> No.23178549

>>23177807
I like this.

>> No.23178599

Sometimes I have nights where I less sleep and more put myself into a trance. I feel like I can still *see* , like my eyes are still open, but I am also resting. This also happens to be when I get the most vivid dreams, kind of like visions. I wake up and I have a whole bunch of ideas to write down. What is this? Do you guys experience this?

>> No.23178608

>>23178400
It's bad, but I'm not good enough at writing to tell you what it is exactly that is bad. I think maybe you're explaining too much out of the gate, like you're afraid the reader is going to miss something. Take it slower.

>> No.23178812

>>23178599
Yes, maybe once a year. There are many terms for it, but I would consider it normal for any creative man to feel the drive to commit his ideas to paper in some intense way.

>> No.23178841
File: 213 KB, 1058x1411, 1590535018761.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23178841

Tips on editing? The only one I have is the "I get it" button I saw on a video essay and sounds good. If I'm focusing too much on an idea or event, and keep thinking "I get it, move on", then it should be changed. Any other helpful tip?

>> No.23178847

>>23178431
Maybe. Luckily for me, the Canon is absolutely full to the brim with misanthropic weirdos.

>> No.23178852

>>23178411
Except for the part where it says NOBODY KNOWS HOW AI WORKS. It's an odd statement to make, considering you CLAIM TO KNOW HOW AI WORKS.

>> No.23178883

>>23178841
Cutting down on purple prose is also very good if that isn't something you are already doing.

>> No.23178899
File: 88 KB, 544x503, 1629257984813.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23178899

>cut down on the heckin purple prose!!!
>kill your heckin darlings!!!

>> No.23178913

The point of a machine learning algorithm is to predict things it doesnt know.

>> No.23178923

>>23176604
> Tak wygląda mój wielki maturalny sen: siedzą w oknie dwie małpy przykute łańcuchem, za oknem fruwa niebo i kąpie się morze.

co dziwne, co durwa, powyższe słowa rozpaliły we mnie wielki ogień, wiłoș tzo brn, dzięki któremu mogę pisać, tworzyć i stać się lepszym człowiekiem, skrwiene pet i. Powinienem…. Zrobię to… dla moich dzieci z tego życia i z poprzedniego, i następnego, i następnego

>> No.23178989
File: 1.31 MB, 1800x1116, 225824fgsdl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23178989

I'm writing a story about an artist and his muse. As expected, he calls her "his muse" since she the source of inspiration for him. Is there a specific word to call someone getting inspired by a muse? Or I just should make her call him by his name or another nickname

>> No.23179000

>>23178852
You misinterpret the line. They're saying they can't identify all the factors that make it print out specific responses, not that "they have no idea how AI works". You're unbelievably stupid. Is this American education at work?

>> No.23179011

>>23178989
>there a specific word to call someone getting inspired by a muse?
amused
or bemused
i cant remember which

>> No.23179017

>>23176707
It's alright but it would be better if you cut all this:
>“Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?”
>“Damn it!”
>“Just think, idiot, think,” he hissed.
>He sighed relief.
>“Ahh,” he sighed

None of those communicate half as much as the old flat screen wobbling on its stand.

>> No.23179034

>>23179000
Given that the entire fucking function of a generative AI is to print out specific responses, yeah, I'd say that the experts are pretty well out to fucking lunch by their literal own admission. Maybe you have a looser definition for knowledge than I do, but having a blurb with a cue-card's worth of information you can spew out like a porcupine's bristle when intellectually threatened doesn't exactly cut it for me... American education system or no.

>> No.23179073

>>23178599
It's called hypnagogia, that old asshole Edison would nod off in a chair to the same effect.

>> No.23179083

>>23178899
What do you recommend me, mr. Doubles?

>> No.23179174

>>23179083
i recommend you don't overthink it. editing is great, but it's also the point at which you're liable to start whittling away at the things which make your writing unique. so many people spend too much time in editing; they take something rough and unpolished and end up whittling away at it so intensely that what remains is so sterile and devoid of risk or voice that it's completely worthless. my recommendation is to figure out what YOU like in literature and bootstrap your own editing process personal to you and the kind of writer you are. one-size-fits-all is great for socks but terrible for writing.

just remember overall that basically every piece of advice you'll ever get is from someone who's unpublished. if you're reading a book on writing, realize that the people doling out the advice, their biggest literary "accomplishment" is writing a book about writing. i don't know about you, but i'd rather study the masters than have some two-bit hack who's never written anything worth a shit tell me what they think i should do.

also, i'm not excluding myself from any of this. i'm a hack too.

>> No.23179187

I've written a few comedy short stories. They're about some early 2000s skateboarders dealing with things like the local drug dealer not letting them film their videos in the skate park, and their creepy Cambodian landlord forcing them to produce a rap record for him, and things like that. They're basically cartoons, especially the first one that I wrote. I've uploaded them to a few places hoping for feedback, but I've had no luck. Would someone mind telling me if these are any good?

https://www.deviantart.com/silentkrabs/art/Poverty-Park-1017745358

https://www.deviantart.com/silentkrabs/art/Golden-Triangle-Episodes-1023655204

https://www.deviantart.com/silentkrabs/art/The-Homeless-Shopping-Experience-1030850358

>> No.23179190

>>23179187
Yes, I'm aware that I'm a moron for using DeviantArt.

>> No.23179193

This all started when I got third place in the prize-draw at work. My boss reached into a plastic bag and pulled out a small gold envelope. Inside was a £50 voucher for somewhere called The Huntsman. A grinning green-capped cartoon man stared back at me from the voucher, cradling his crossbow like an automatic weapon.

'What's The Huntsman?' I asked.

The Huntsman was 'The Biggest Mega-Pub in Western Europe', and it had just opened on the edge of town. Out there, everything is roundabouts and newbuild residential zones, and you drive and you drive until you get out past the last roundabout, and then there's only car park as far as you can see, and at the centre, a massive mock-Tudor edifice: The Huntsman.

Because I still didn't have my license I asked Martin to come along. I knew him from work. Sometimes he would stop by my desk and ask me if I'd heard the latest revelations about the P2 Lodge or some kind of deep-state operation. Then when I said no he would catch me up to speed. I preferred that to talking to anyone else in the office. All they talked of was other departments' performance.

It was dark by the time we found a parking space and got out. Three women hobbled past us, their heels clattering on the tarmac and their tiny handbags swinging wildly. They were trotting fast and whenever one would trip and fall the other two retreated to haul her up. Maybe they were late to some big night out. Maybe they were just trying to get out of the wind, which was cold and had no trees to break it. Their dresses were very clingy and very short.

We walked on, and far off between the rows of cars I saw a small flourescent figure approaching. The closer he got the burlier he looked. Some kind of security guard. Buckled around his flourescent yellow vest he wore a big medieval belt, and in his hand he carried a truncheon made of wood. 'Alright,' Martin said when the man came abreast, but the man just eyed us all sceptical. As if only cars, not people, were supposed to be in car parks.

Martin asked, a little later, whether I thought that truncheon had 'seen action' - whether they'd authorise him to deploy it on customers. I told him it was probably just theming.

Finally we got within sight of the entrance to The Huntsman itself. Seen from a distance, lit up from beneath by bright yellow floodlights, the building had seemed kind of unreal and illusory, like a piece of holographic special effects hanging in the darkness. But up close it was more overwhelmingly massive than I had imagined, a titanic warehouse of a structure.

I caught up with Martin (I had been standing there a while, neck craned back) and we merged with the crowd filtering into the main doors. I had expected a vast hall once we entered, but instead we found ourselves in a low-ceilinged lobby, like the windowless, poster-lined buffer zones you have to walk through to get to a movie screen. The walls were all wood-panelled, and the floor was carpeted in thick red plush.

[TBC]

>> No.23179449
File: 1 KB, 288x31, mar_13_progress.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23179449

>>23143959
I'm seeing the other side now! This has been quite fun up to this point, and I'm beginning to wrap things up as best I can. I'm at the story's climax now, so words are coming pretty easily. I have the rest of this through to the epilogue planned pretty well, so I'm feeling very confident I'll at least finish.
More exciting (to me anyways) is that I've got at least the plot skeleton for my second book done and dusted with. Now comes fleshing it out, and after I'm done with this one, writing it.

>>23177164
Unironically make a hero's journey diagram (or something to that effect) and start brainstorming trying to fill it out. Given a little bit of structure, the ideas start flowing without limit. Doing this for my second book and there's already sections I'll have to chop out because it's too much for one book.

>>23177431
Write more. It's how you get good. Just shove your head in the sand and pretend it's good...until editing time, that is.

>>23177935
The concept of replacing human expression with a Goddamned silicon chip is demonic.

>>23178015
Pretend it's not your work. Makes critiquing easier if you've got a big ego like me.

You're too direct with your descriptions. For instance, you describe what a guy did, and then you go "The man was x, y, and z with a, b, and c feature."
Love your dialogue though.

>>23178599
That's why the last thing I do on my phone at night is open up Samsung Notes. I get that stuff down *immediately* in the morning.

>>23178899
I like my prose relatively direct. It's that simple.

>>23179174
Wise words. Screencapped as a reminder for when I start editing my current WIP.

>> No.23179637
File: 1.91 MB, 498x211, new_story.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23179637

https://pastebin.com/t5vr8vHe

>> No.23179846

>>23179637
I like it, but it needs more padding... Things are just so sudden. You flip from scene to scene in an instant. Each "scene" (like the doctor's office) should be longer than just one or two paragraphs. They should be a page or two longer. Go over everything, add more detail, pad it out, and then edit it down, then pad it out some more...

>> No.23179945

>>23179637
Honestly that was pretty good. I'd love to see more writing from you. It's not pretentious like a lot of new writers, in fact I really appreciate the "bluntness" of it. There's not much written but I still understand Dent's situation. It's unique and it feels like a sort of darker version of Rocky (not that I've watched it lmao)

My main critiques though are transitions, momentum, and somewhat inconsistent tone. The switch between scenes feels a little abrupt, but I think formatting and adding more in between could easily fix this. It also sometimes seems to go a bit too fast, or changes speed suddenly. For example when it's choppy dialogue but then the reader's dropped into the fast paced worries of the wife without warning or buildup. As for the tone it's actually mostly great and something I really love. It's just that it occasionally has some bumps, which probably has similar roots to momentum. The first three paragraphs are probably the best example, with "Could he still summon such power?" and "mournfully switched it off" sticking out.

Overall I like this and see lots of potential. Really all it boils down to is realizing that. If you stopped here it would be good, but as an unfinished project it's great. All the negatives are expected for a first draft and I hope to see more soon. Godspeed anon

>> No.23179961

>>23178285
If that's an obtuse way of saying you now have a woman companion in your life, congratulations! If it means you had a vaginoplasty, then according to the statistics, you're now twice as likely to attempt suicide.

>> No.23179977

>>23178923
Google Polish->English:
>This is what my big high school dream looks like: two chained monkeys are sitting in the window, the sky is flying outside the window and the sea is bathing.
strangely enough, strangely enough, the above words lit a great fire in me, włoș tzo brn, thanks to which I can write, create and become a better person, bloody pet i. I should…. I will do it… for my children in this life, and the next, and the next, and the next.
Hmmm, nope...still doesn't make sense.

>> No.23180169 [DELETED] 

I just wanted to say “niggerclaus.”

>> No.23180234

https://pastebin.com/1F3M7S6J

>> No.23180468
File: 305 KB, 710x710, d15l75l-589e880e-ae95-43ec-b6be-4802b43d8aef.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23180468

>>23176604
So I'm writing a couple that are like Silverbolt and Blackarachnia from Beast Wars

One quote I liked was how Silverbolt called Blackarachnia the "dark poison of my heart"

What are some good similarly cheesy terms of affection?

>> No.23180561

>>23176650
Gorgeous

>> No.23180866

What word processor do you all use? I like using my phone to jot down ideas, so I'm stuck with Google Docs.

>> No.23181174

>>23180468
"You're my new Saturday night thing." -Roadhouse

>> No.23181213

>>23180866
I use google docs just because it is simple and cloud based so I can write on my PC or laptop without having to worry about losing anything between them.

>> No.23181346

>>23180234
>Can’t even get the chapter number right.
Maybe we should have a split. these genreslop “writers” only bring everyone else down.

>> No.23181509
File: 301 KB, 600x600, 1696965658272584.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23181509

Just finished punching up "The Weight of the Haze." Anyone else need a cheap editor? I'm free this week

>> No.23181683

>>23179637
this was a really enjoyable read, anon. i typically hate about 95% of what gets posted itt but you've got something here

>> No.23181799

TODAY I WRITE

>> No.23181806

What motivates you to write?

>> No.23181824

>>23181806
the joy derived from the action

>> No.23181839

>>23181806
My incurable mental illness

>> No.23181944

>>23176604
I'm just curious. Why you try out the writing if it is made dead by AI?

>> No.23181982

>>23179637
It's good man, I really want to know what happens to Dent. Maybe a little awkward at times. Feels like it was written 20 years ago in a good way.

>> No.23182005

>>23181806
>>23181839

>> No.23182017

>>23181982
>Feels like it was written 20 years ago in a good way.
The Minimalism clan was hot then, it does have that quick feel to it that doesn't overstay its welcome. Above serviceable but not a forward exercise in style.

>> No.23182103

>>23179637
First line is a cliché

>> No.23182163
File: 625 KB, 4118x2880, NUGQeKD.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23182163

>>23176604
Im writing historical fiction with a roman engineer main character entirely so I can autism rant about ancient construction methods.

beta-readers told me that I should cut down on the rants, but that would be like telling Steven King to cut down on the kiddie porn. Its the reason the piece was written in the first place.

What do?

>> No.23182275

>>23182163
Have you read pillars of earth? Similar book but taking place in Medieval times. Trash prose but might be worth studying to see how he handles exposition, since much of the book concerns the construction of a cathedral. IIRC there's a lot of "Watson" moments while being careful not to fall into Maid and Butler dialogue. Also using internal monologue and descriptions of buildings from different points of view (bird's eye, section, walk through, etc.). Finally, some of the books major conflicts have to do with the construction itself. You basically have to come up with all the issues that might arise in a major construction project and throw the worst versions of them at your character. Then he has to use his ingenuity and skill to get out of it. That's really gratifying to read and you can build suspense easily by either witholding exposition (creating a McGuyver like effect) or using exposition to create expectation which is then turned.

>> No.23182342

>>23182163
how do you trick readers in to caring about something that means so little to them? or can you somehow get similarly autistic eyes on this?

>> No.23182359

>>23182342
Niggas read about whaling and call it the best american novel ever written, you're overthinking this.

>> No.23182367

>>23182342
A good opening sentence and fluid flow of the story. A rant isn't going to be that fucking good enough to read unless it's compelling or you already agree with it.

>> No.23182399

Have some space for a minor in my degree. Would "creative writing" be good to take at an university?

>> No.23182402

>>23182399
worth it for the woman alone

>> No.23182409

>>23176604
I don't understand why table top rpg is so popular and even used by actual writers as a creative device to help them write.

>> No.23182420

>>23182402
they are all lefties and crazy... I don't know about that

>> No.23182423

>>23182399
Psych and philosophy have hot, dick hungry crazy chicks with something to prove. Not marriage material, but you'll be busy if you're less dorky than the male majors.

>> No.23182431

>>23182409
it's working from a foundation. think about how litrpg is written so poorly yet still consumed by people who know better
structure is huge

>> No.23182433

>>23182402
>>23182423
Coomers begone

>> No.23182439

>>23182423
I am studying an European language and there are plenty of girls as is. I am interested in writing my language and uplifting it's literary status. Not chasing skirts.

>> No.23182440

>>23182439
You can't write about higher pursuits unless you purge yourself of the fog of coom at every opportunity. Unless you're g*rman.

>> No.23182441

>>23182420
>lefties
nigga are u voting for them?
>crazy
and the problem? doubly so if ur a writer

>> No.23182444

>>23182433
bro has never heard of a muse

>> No.23182460

>>23182444
The muse is within, it's not meant to literally be a woman you need to find
Stop wasting your creative energies on empty base pleasures

>> No.23182474

>>23182444
>muse
most are not muses but nymphs. Be warned, they only offer flesh, no inspiration.

>> No.23182476

>>23182431
I guess if there are idiots who consume it garbage (table top, litrpg) then why not write it and make those easy patreon/selfpublishing bucks.

>> No.23182477

>>23182367
I say rant to exaggerate and make my point clear, I never drop the narrative of the story, but the narrative often conveniently finds its way towards construction methods.

>> No.23182483

>>23182275
I've read it, it was ok.

definitely some good advice here, thank you

>> No.23182498

>>23176604
> The wind lifted worked sweat off Gaius’s sunbaked baldness—Like a mother wiping away her son’s tears.

Is this sentence retarded?

>> No.23182504

>>23182498
I feel like you already know it's tryhard and artificial. Trust your instincts.

>> No.23182507

>>23182498
The first half is fine.

>> No.23182509

>>23182504
thanks

>> No.23182513

>>23182498
I like it

>> No.23182519

>>23182474
>>23182476
whether you want to a read a good book or sex youre still pleasure seeking
theres no meaningful distinction
also most good books are about relationships not just the sex part but the entirety

>> No.23182535

>>23182476
that's just it, MANY people are trying to capitalize on it. even published authors are trying to gain traction with webseries now
unfortunately it's more luck/timing than anything; most of the popular series are fucking terrible.

>> No.23182548
File: 254 KB, 2381x1015, Capture d’écran, le 2024-03-14 à 17.20.48.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23182548

Hey, how's the ending of this chapter of my novel? In this scene, we've just arrived in Calgary, from Toronto by bicycle, and I finally see the distant mountains we've been chasing for the past six weeks. I shared a previous draft last year and I was told it was boring, so I scaled down the prose.

>> No.23182552

>>23182498
>Like a mother wiping away her son’s tears
Pick your battles. There are sentences that justify their language, sentences about which you can say "suck my dick, I like it," and then there's dramatizing the wind evaporating sweat like you just did.

>> No.23182557

>>23182476
There's a general for people like you now. Git! Fuck off! Nigger!

>> No.23182577

>>23182552
>dramatizing
you c-cant just use metaphors ok thats le b-bad

>> No.23182581

>>23182557
where?

>> No.23182584

>>23182577
>tranny stuttering

>> No.23182587

>>23182552
wind fag here, I asked because I knew it felt kind of out place, so thanks for the input.
through-ought this chapter the wind is reasonably important, which might justify the usage of my masturbation using stilted metaphor.

>> No.23182615

>>23182548
Nx the last paragraph and end it on the line of stampede.

>> No.23182665

>>23182615
Hmm, really? The last paragraph is supposed to be a big climax, like in the light of the fireworks I finally see the mountains from the balcony, and make it clear what they mean to me.

>> No.23182728

>>23182548
what's your elevator pitch?

>> No.23182790

>>23182728

A “Canadiana” can-con story, involving mental health and men’s health that appeals to both book clubs and self-help niches. It's about the complexities of human connection in a disconnected world, and how new challenges and obstacles appear at every turn, just as you've surmounted the previous one, and this repeats forever. And that this, ultimately, is good, and a cause for hope.

It explores modern masculinity, and social alienation. It hammers home that you have control over how you interpret your daily experiences; we can make a different reality for ourselves. Our purpose is to become good people through understanding the other. Things are only meaningful if we give them meaning, the meaning isn’t there by itself. You are free to continue, you are free to change, you are free to turn around—at any moment at all. Only good people are capable of being authentically happy. Every choice sets an example for the next. The world is given meaning by seeking the beauty within it, and appreciating those rare moments of connection as its ultimate purpose.

This is expressed mostly through conversations and experiences of goofy, junevile kids riding their bikes across the Canada, running into one bizarre scenario after the next. Going for a non-didactic spin on Zen and the Art.

>> No.23182852

Does this sound like "I only want this internship because I want to graduate"? They want me to be enrolled at a university for the duration of the internship so I have to mention it but idk if it sounds rude like that:

"As I am currently in the final stages of my master's thesis which I will be finishing by the end of April, this internship presents an ideal opportunity to fulfil the remaining requirement for my graduation."

>> No.23182889

>>23182852
Yes
Try "...an ideal opportunity to enrich my masters' thesis in [insert domain]"

>> No.23182921

>>23182548
You're using the colon (:) too often. I personally would remove every single one, but maybe that's just your writing style. Remove a few, at least.
You're missing a comma before the "but" in the first sentence.
Use some other word instead of "absonant". It does not fit with the rest of the excerpt.
At a rodeo event, you would typically expect to see eg. a Quarter Horse rather than a Thoroughbred, though many rodeo horses are a bread with Thoroughbreds.
Remove "full-tilt". I think this is self-explanatory.
You do not use the rodeo metaphor to its fullest extent. So, you forcibly try to tie the two paragraphs together by making it explicit: "The best stampede I've seen tonight." But this should already be obvious to the reader who read the vivid description of the chase. But the description is not vivid or interesting enough. So, the second sentence shouldn't be there. It's a crutch. You should work more on the first sentence of that paragraph.
The last paragraph is just bad.
The poetics don't make much sense.

Generally, I would've liked to see more experimentation with rhyme and rhythm. The first sentence of the excerpt is fun to read because of those two things. I think you should expand more on the things you write about. The sentences are all half-finished. The excerpt reads like a bunch of notes, not prose.

>> No.23182944

>>23182665
I haven't read the rest of the story so I don't feel any of the payoff. The girl catches my attention more than the mountains and the ominous imagery fucks with your idea of inner peace unless you're suicidal down the road. Just doesn't fit with the rest of the small regular joe narration used beforehand. I would also advise not using peaks twice like that so near one another.

>> No.23183068

>>23182665
It's awful.

>> No.23183081

>>23182548
Disagree with the other anon, the last paragraph mogs the first two by far. It has some weight to it by overcoming the weakness of constantly writing like this: "I went to the store, where there was an apple, next to some oranges, in aisle 9." And I like "jagged like a crown on the skull of the earth."

>> No.23183118

>>23183068
NTA but if you can't explain why, you're just a mindless, seething troll.

>> No.23183268

>>23182535
>it's luck
no moron you just dont understand the genre, in the same way the opportunists dont

>> No.23183273

>>23182557
God I wish there was

>> No.23183400

>>23182476
Because that's what talentless hacks do.

>> No.23183625

have any anons seen a visible improvement of their prose/storytelling after doing the bradbury trio?

>> No.23183741

>>23183625
Yes.
It helps, and also helps with creativity.

>> No.23184010
File: 767 KB, 480x360, 1631797721050.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23184010

One of my characters is about to get sexually assaulted, there won't be any penetration as someone will jump in last minute BUT I want the initial sort of build-up to be as vile as possible so the reader is relieved when it gets stopped. Any tips in a way that isn't pure cringe/shock factor.

>> No.23184078
File: 103 KB, 1082x673, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23184078

I'm doing a short story with the premise of a Goldfish having to swim up a mountain to get a wish, much like the story of the Carp that swims up a waterfall and becomes a dragon.
The audience won't be children, though I am writing it more like a childrens story.
Should I go with Japanese names? Right now I've got Oka (from Okaasan, meaning mother) Musuko (meaning son), Muji (from a type of white Koi), and Tsushima (from a species of Japanese mountain cats).
My question boils down to if it reads strangely to use these Japanese names. I didn't use anything that I consider too difficult to pronounce, though I'm now considering changing Tsushima to just Shima, much like I took Muji from Shiro Muji.

>> No.23184151

>>23184010
Creeps have really odd body language.
Just the other day at lunch, a conversation started about a coworker's behavior, and those roasting him either let it speak for itself or suggest what it meant. Things like staring too long, no self conscious (checking if others are looking or unaware people notice or not caring at all), hands wringing, creepy non-sequiturs about girls and children (he's unmarried). The guy is also permamasked so him hiding is face all the time makes it even worse.
With a little thought you can add details that will alarm readers the would-be rapist in your story is a freak.

>> No.23184484

>>23183068

Sure, I can see how some might feel that way, but why is this the case for you, specifically?

>> No.23184632
File: 37 KB, 593x513, wg endless winter.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23184632

Would it not be a little idiosynchratic to call my nomadic people's leader Thane? I might use Chieftan but I still think it sounds a little savagery I realize Thane is more for nobility but there's no traditional idea of nobility in my world also what are some interesting phenotype features I could use to describe my characters? There's been absolutely no natural sunlight for generations so I'd imagine lookswise everyone would be a little pale maybe darker eye colours for everyone either brown or black

>> No.23184647

>>23184010
What's the setting of the scene? What time of day is it? What is she doing? What was her day like? What are her insecurities and fears?

>> No.23184652

>>23184151
This is good shit, I think maybe that focusing on trying not to romanticise it in any way is really "The move" with something like this.

>>23184647
She's just walking home alone at night and the local drunkard who made several passes at her before catches her alone.

>> No.23185761
File: 202 KB, 863x1390, northern-goshawk-accipiter-gentilis-sitting-on-glove-of-a-falconer-CNX1W3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23185761

>>23176604
So I read an analysis of a scene from the ASOIAF books

In it Stannis had a goshawk that wouldn't fly as high as a gyrfalcon and wasn't great at hunting, he later abandons it after his uncle tells him he's making a fool of himself

However someone online pointed out that gyrfalcons dive on their prey in a way that is flashy and looks good among nobility.

Goshawks are not like that, and they hunt by swooping in horizontally to take prey. So using a goshawk like a gyrfalcon is gonna end poorly, and the analysis concluded Stannis was unable to see the true value of the goshawk because he was caught up trying to look good.

I wanted a scene with sort of the opposite outcome. A person is told their method is useless, but they see the real way it's meant to be used and are able to make it work.

I wanted it to be hunting related but I didn't want it to be hawk or falcon related. What would be some other things that'd fit? I had an idea of
>Person spends time training with bow
>Noble people hunt deers and boars with elaborate spears mostly in the region
>These nobles prefer to hunt by having the dogs and servants surround an animal, then walk up and stab it with a spear
>Bow and arrow doesn't work well due to the danger of hitting the dogs or servants
>People tell person to stop wasting time with a bow
>Person instead hunts differently by sneaking up and shooting animals with a bow, no dogs or servants
>Sets the theme of the person as someone who follows their own path and sees the value of things where others don't
Think that is good?

>> No.23185811

>>23176604
I've created 159/291 pages in about 2 months, A5 per page. Pumping 'em out guys! I should lurk here less and write more. I'm mixing in oil pastel between the lines.

>> No.23185843

>>23185811
>I'm mixing in oil pastel between the lines.
It's the only way to stay sane through it all. I fuck around on a lute.

>> No.23186085

Some of the writing I see makes me cringe. I think I have to edit some of it to make it better.

>> No.23186195

I am so bad at writing. I feel like giving up still. Sometimes it's fun but its like I'm taking a part of me and throwing it into the air for people to rip apart. It hurts so much, I didn't know this before writing but there's a deep stuff that shows through in your writing and if you're insecure that's not really good

>> No.23186252

>>23182548

It's okay, Liam, but it feels fractured and is less than clear what''s going on. Initially you say "bottlenecked traffic" which seems to imply road traffic, but then it sounds like you're now actually leaving a fairground. You mention rodeo but then later "carnival workers" which is not entirely consistent with a rodeo or a county/state fair. Then the third paragraph comes out in a disjointed way "Later, I sneak another cig..." which could be fine if you had said that evening or something but it still sounds like you're in the vicinity of the fair with fireworks going off (though the word "later" makes it sound like a large time gap has occurred). Are you in the car still or not? How would you sneak a cig in a car? So basically the picture is quite confused and impossible to imagine in a coherent way.

>> No.23186467
File: 56 KB, 564x705, c12600144b628c2dc720a158d7666b7b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23186467

https://pastebin.com/1ekNUmCf

>> No.23186578

>>23186195
But that's where all the best storytelling comes from. You just have to be mad enough to enjoy tapping into it.

>> No.23186822

>>23186467
>colonized
meh
>her soul
no
>murky water swimming with coin
yes
>pp4
Even better

>> No.23187067

>>23186467
>https://pastebin.com/1ekNUmCf
did not like it enough to read it in its entirety.
not bad, not good.

>> No.23187392
File: 188 KB, 1439x1758, 1630435578832.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187392

>Sat down finally
>Right must, right setting, in the zone
>Start typing
>Words flowing, visions appearing
>Suddenly a knock at the door
>Family has turned up for a visit unannounced
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUU

>> No.23187476

>>23185843
Based bardboaster. I meant: bardposter. My intellect is already giving in. I need more oil pastel.

>> No.23187483
File: 194 KB, 724x965, 1706539922722327.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187483

>haha i make... le error!!!
>muh intellect is le giving in!!!!
>time for heckin' fingerpainterinos!!!!
>haha im so eclectic and silly just look so me haha im so quirky and smart

>> No.23187491

>>23186467
Didn't really like it that much. It seems like something tailor-made for getting high marks at a creative writing class, or the product of someone who's taken one. I prefer my literature to live and breathe a bit more. Your piece feels very calculated and precise, which makes it seem extremely safe. Yes, there's an age-gap relationship and, yes, it delves maybe a tiny bit deeper into what acts it depicts, but... that feels very calculated as well. It's got the appearance of being edgy while simultaneously, stylistically being very safe and conventional.

It's not weird enough and you're obviously not stretching yourself as a writer. Try going beyond what feels safe; try writing something honest instead of the collegiate version of that novel by a professor where the professor has sex with his students.

>> No.23187496

>>23187483
Your post is the GOAT! But I don't fingerpaint.

>> No.23187500
File: 38 KB, 575x575, 1656543434209.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187500

Writing a sex scene, not sure if I actually want to write a sex scene or if I should just fade to black. I think I'll just fade away but W*men love a sex scene. I dunno bros

>> No.23187503
File: 14 KB, 376x369, 1707224859511623.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187503

>>23186467
>Mmmm, yes... fuck fuck fuck. Sex sex sex! Fucking and cumming! Cum in that pussy. Fuck that sex! SEXOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>I am Dark Academia Man.

>> No.23187506

>>23187500
The only time I ever write out sex is if it's a rape scene. In my book, I actually have two rape scenes, back-to-back. There's an earlier sex scene I just kinda glossed over because it's just sex and who gives a shit.

>> No.23187511

I live in the middle east and I'd like to write a novel in English. Would American publishers be interested in it or should I just write it in Arabic?

>> No.23187516

>>23187511
If it's a very specific kind of "unheard voices" novel in which you are "peeling back the veil on how [issue] (usually white supremacy) makes people with your skin color heckin' rock stars!" then maybe. If you're writing fiction, you're much better off just writing in your native language. Most translators worth a shit pull native language literature into their mother tongue rather than the other way around. Maybe you've got a Nabokov-tier, generational brilliance and can write as well in English as you can Arabic, but you probably don't. EVEN IF you do want to try your hand at writing in English... my recommendation (based on "that sounds about right; trust me, bro!") is that you write it first in Arabic and then translate.

>> No.23187517

>>23178400
It's not strictly badly written, it's just profoundly uninteresting. I read the first couple of paragraphs and there's absolutely nothing drawing me in. Literally nothing has happened, other than a boring conversation (out of context, so I have no idea what it's about), a description of the protagonist I have zero investment in, and then how he walked to the pub. It's just writing for the sake of writing, there's absolutely no hook here to draw the reader in.

It's very emblematic of 95% of the stuff that gets posted in these threads. It's just random writing about nothing. People write a little excerpt for the sake of writing an excerpt just so that they can post it in this thread. If you're gonna write something just to post it in this thread at least make it an engaging short story where something pivotal happens. Most of the stuff that gets posted here is just an over-wrought, purple prose description of an environment followed by disjointed dialogue.

>> No.23187528

Is Venus in retrograde? No, there may no longer be a Venus. This is, at the very least, the final, irrevocable affirmation of a much-maligned discipline: astrology. In man’s infinite arrogance, he grew to imagine himself distinct from the movements of celestial bodies. We imagined women’s menstrual cycles independent from the ebb and flow of the moon; we pretended Venus—easy may she rest—could not predict daily fortune or foible; we bucked the yoke of the Sun, or we tried. It is gleeful, in its own way: to imagine the dread—that hopeless and inconsolable dread—to understand finally, to lie face-up at the guillotine, to deluge garbed final words to the deaf hangman at your private execution, to look into the dull incomprehension in his eyes. The astrologers were, after all, completely correct. Jesus was an intermediary and middleman peddling abstractions. Where—one might be tempted to wonder—are the priests? the imams or the rabbis? It seems shamans may be fallen into similar disrepair, although perhaps the Gnostics were on to something. It is hard to dispute, at this very moment, the primacy of the cosmos. Millennia prior, did some charlatan misinterpret the sign of Saturn direct in the tenth house? Conceivably. Perhaps Sally was fired for daytime drinking rather than the promotion she was promised. The sun, however, has had the final say, the ultimate and unimpeachable dictate: death, and the end of all things. With one minor exception: myself.
An exception; the last of its kind, the lingering long-after the bones are all dry and the voices gone silent, the last muttering echo scattered from cathedral walls; its floors are covered in technicolor shards beneath the gazing faceless idolatry, the fallen crucifixes’ strewn driftwoods are splintering, splintered, reduced, to… to pass through a space like this, where vespers dull no more against the choral din and the pews are all empty, is to walk one last watchman’s pass in the waning significance. The crunches beneath tired feet wax finality, observing in the brief flarings-up a… you might hear, from time to time, a spectre—though surely it’s all in your head—a wailing, a call. You might think you see, from the corner of your eye, thin apparitions and lucent shades spring from light’s glinting fiercely, through dust raised by your passage, off the stained glass all a shatter underfoot… their elongated faces are vaguely human and rapidly dispersing, mouths wide open at the horror, the horror….
It is always important to recognize that these are ghosts. If they exist at all, they are dead. You are not. Where they rise from glassy ashes in imaginary cathedrals, you are what does the imagining. You are imaginer and what is imagined. No matter where your feet go, nor over whose bones they drive their rusting barrow, it is the driving itself—for the sake of the drive—which has the sole significance. In the world of the dead, any man alive could be king.

>> No.23187544
File: 471 KB, 989x998, 1689171048020.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187544

>>23187516
>Maybe you've got a Nabokov-tier, generational brilliance and can write as well in English as you can Arabic
I've got a Nabokov-tier, generational brilliance and can write as well in English as I can Arabic

>> No.23187703
File: 120 KB, 564x705, not you.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23187703

>>23187483
unless you look like this, no one cares if you're being eclectic and silly by fingerpainting

>> No.23187724

>have several scenes where women point out how handsome the male lead is to show the female lead not-so-secretly agrees with them
>think about doing the reverse and feel like I'm going to vomit

>> No.23187785

>>23186252

Thanks. Yeah, I tend to have this choppy way of pacing. We're sitting in the parking lot of the Calgary Stampede, waiting to get out, because the traffic through the lot is bottlenecked. The Stampede is basically a rodeo show surrounded by carnival games, employing carnival game workers. Later, I'm back at Erin's place, smoking on her balcony, overlooking the city, searching for my first view of the mountains to the west.

>> No.23187874

>>23186467
I can tell from your writing style that you are a pedophile.

>> No.23187890

>>23178400
I'll try to give you some concrete advice (instead of just saying it's "boring" or "profoundly uninteresting"). First, your problems seem to me to be structural. This scene, fundamentally, is about the character's opinion of his brother (it's very much reminiscient of the scene in Anna Karenina where Lev visits his older brother) in regard to his idle life, yet it neither begins nor turns on that point. You begin the story with a deadline and then completely disregard it. This is (partly) why it's boring. You've set up the pins in one lane and then have chosen to bowl in another. The reader thinks the story is going to be about him trying to get his work done and keeps waiting for you to return to that, and when you don't, it feels like you're meandering and they lose interest. Take a look at any scene from published fiction and you'll see that once the point of the scene is established, there isn't much digression. The point may evolve, but it is never simply ignored. True, you return to it at the very end, implying that he's probably not going to finish and will lose his job (and obviously the irony of his opinion of his brother vs. his own form of idleness isn't lost on me) but most readers will probably drop it long before then.

The other structural problem is that there isn't any strong opposition. The character has a strong opinion of his brother but it never quite comes to a head; they just leave each other alone. Likewise the man he's talking to offers a weak, banal response to his diatribe. And he's apparently someone of no consequence anyway, just some regular at the bar. Imagine, if instead you started the story with the character already fired from his job and THEN he goes to visit his brother (possibly to live with him for a while--a humilating prospect) and the scene is about him trying to reconcile his memories of his brother with his newer idle state (and why that matters to him--maybe he used to look up to his brother and was hoping to be regenerated by his industrious spirit). You could still have the irony (e.g see Goodbye My Brother, by Cheever) but now the scene turns on its actual point, it doesn't meander, the ideological divide comes to a direct, balanced confrontation.

>> No.23187980

>>23186822
>pp4
what?
>>23187491
I had this thought while writing. There is something forced and artificial about it. Dunno what's to be done.
>>23187874
That's what I get for reading Nabokov

>> No.23188070

>>23186467
Probably a weird point because I've only skimmed it but the narrator shouldn't call her Emmie unless that is her full name. I think it sounds odd because Emmie is usually a pet name right? And so the impersonal narrator ought not to use a pet name. particularly as Emma isn't very long. It would also make the character feel closer to her than the audience etcetcetectecte ygti

>> No.23188080
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23188080

starting out

>> No.23188259

>>23188070
Charlie is the narrator and he's fully taken in by her, giving all these lurid descriptions that show her very much as he sees her. So he'd call her Emmie.

>> No.23188363

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Atheist_professor_myth#The_Vandal_magister
https://vocaroo.com/1ep8qYq0W5TM
I've read this stupid copypasta so many times. I just really like it. Why do I like it so much? I think I believe in the trinity now since I don't want to be exiled to Romania.

>> No.23188370

>>23187980
Paragraph 4

>> No.23188604

>>23187980
>Dunno what's to be done.
Go crazy. Stretch yourself. Write something about which you're unsure. Follow the words where they want to go. Find a bit of mystery in the writing process and realize that no matter how good you think something is, someone is going to think it's shit. The opposite is surprisingly not impossible as well. Relax. You're trying to write, not get a prostate exam. No need to be so rigid, my man.

>> No.23188782

will anonie write more about the strange man who breaks up words?

>> No.23188796

>>23176604
Any book with a realistic depiction of child characters? Like the mindset and dialogue? I don't understand how to get it right.

>> No.23188804

>>23188796
lolita

>> No.23188904

>>23186467

The murder angle is too sensational. The motivation to kill her is not properly developed, and it's not a good storyline anyway. If you want to write about the girl, make it about her. Here she's just a lifeless plaything, something akin to a hooker who doesn't really exist, a cut-out piece of cardboard. This doesn't make for the best narrative. It all feels fake. Lots of words, but not a lot of actual characterization. Try going back to how he met her and look for a different climax to the story (not murder).

You have enough writing skill that you could do something a little more interesting. How about, for example, he realizes or finds out that she was born a biological male? What will he do now? Does it matter? Or what if she tells him she'd committed a horrific crime? Maybe she's a murderer. Anything other than okay, lets just wring her neck out and call it done.

>> No.23189087

>Most of my story is lighthearted and whimsical
>The antagonists have the moral compass of a Crossed zombie
Is it possible to be too jarring with a change in tone? I feel like I should kill a puppy or something in chapter 2 so my readers don't make the mistake of thinking it's a happy story.

>> No.23189252
File: 2.29 MB, 5388x3001, 1709494401008485.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23189252

Gaius had been two hundred feet off the ground for six weeks. He'd never gotten sick as a child when his father took him out on the yacht, but today the everything before him swam. He'd been relieved by the man who would be this lighthouse's sole occupant for the next six weeks and had headed down the stairs and felt gravel under his boots. Standing still, he was assaulted by phantom motion, having spent countless hours staring at out at the ocean. The kind of fake motion you get when you watched all the credits in the movie theater. He wondered if the gravel would wash away somehow and he'd float off, like his father had, so long ago.

Gaius checked his watch: it was 7 years to the minute since his father stepped off the dock and into his yacht and sailed away. The last hug, the last wave. The cold spray of the sea was burned into Gaius's brain. Maybe that was why Gaius liked lighthouse: he could imagine that each boat that appeared on the horizon was his father's, returning at last. He'd wonder if each explosion beyond the fog had killed his father.

In the meantime Gaius had his fathers lessons to remember him by. Not to trust Institutions. He remembered one time father had come home swearing and drunk. Something about how he'd been screwed over, how his employers did what was convenient, not what was right per their agreements. A pension that somehow vanished in the bureaucratic shuffle between the old regime and the new. Medical discharge for psychiatric difficulty. His father said the only thing you could count on was yourself and your abilities. Not principalities or powers. Gaius hadn't understood what most of that meant, but when father left for good seven years ago Gaius figured you really couldn't count on anyone. That much was evident.

But Gaius hadn't been able to bear long term loneliness for long, and married Rebecca from high school his first day of shore leave. He knew he shouldn't rely on her. He knew that she could die, or cheat while Gaius was at sea. And so Gaius married her with a sort of mental barrier, an unstated knowledge that this too could pass.

But when Gaius stood on the dock that day for the first time in a year, the solid ground underfoot, when he pressed her lips to his and felt her small arms squeeze his back as tightly as she could--Gaius compromised just a little. He didn't explicitly tell himself that she was an exception. Not in those terms. But he allowed himself a tacit understanding that she was different, stable, a constant. That his father had been mostly right, but that Rebecca could be counted on. Solid ground.

When Gaius arrived home today, seven years after he'd first really believed that you couldn't believe in anything outside yourself, the first thing he did was kiss Rebecca. They stood on the porch of his father's house. Her face was the same, her arms were the same.

>> No.23189256
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23189256

>>23189252
But he couldn't stop thinking about her lips. The upper lip had the same cupid's bow he'd always found so adorable. It curled in the usual way it always had. The lower lip was a bit thin, just as it always had been.

Was it the texture? Perhaps she was wearing different lipstick. He'd have to check the bathroom later to confirm, but most likely not because it had the same taste as usual.

Rebecca had turned to lead him inside, and Gaius grabbed her by the arm and kissed her deeply again.

The way her arms squeezed him was right. It was perfect. It wasn't something that could be mimicked.

But Gaius couldn't stop thinking about the lips. He kept her face pressed against his for a long time, longer than he'd ever done before. He needed to explore every part of them, every crevice, every wrinkle. Something was wrong, but Gaius couldn't place it.

He penetrated her face with his tongue, and the walls of her mouth was as it always had been. Her tongue wrestled with his in a familiar way. It was perfect.

She shoved him back, confused. Gais fell to his knees, crying. He pounded the AstroTurf.

The lips were wrong. They'd somehow managed to perfect everything but the lips. Gaius knew this was his fault. He'd made the exception. Had allowed himself to believe in a mirage. "All other ground is sinking sand." He remembered this line from a hymn from church years ago, back when his father still believed and took Gaius to church every Sunday. Gaius was floating.

>> No.23189290

Is there a market for pulp fiction nowadays?

I’m curious if anyone still reads low-brow literature these days. I ask because I’m writing pulp atm.

>> No.23189300

>>23188804
Please no

>> No.23189337

>>23182548
>>23182921
> The excerpt reads like a bunch of notes, not prose.
fwiw it reads like autobiography so maybe lean into it if that's your style

>> No.23189562

How do you prevent yourself from self inserting into your characters?

>> No.23189577

>>23189562
I write them with the mindset that they are like my children rather than myself

>> No.23189578

The things I struggle the most with writing are sentence flow and vocabulary
Any tips?

>> No.23189691

>>23188370
Oh lol I can't really stand that paragraph I think it's too awkward but maybe that's what >>23188604
means by being less rigid. The age-old trap of trying too hard.
>>23188904
The murder angle is the culmination of his obsession wherein he is sickened by his love of something corrupt and driven insane by the contradiction of purity in a prostitute to kill her, to make her good and whole and clean. So I think I push that harder. Or maybe I don't care about Emmie enough to make her behave organically and let that lead me to a different ending.

>> No.23189795

>>23180866
GNU Emacs, obviously

>> No.23189802
File: 6 KB, 162x160, classic_marathon_logo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23189802

>>23189252
>>23189256
At first I thought this was the Gheritt White terminal

>> No.23189807

>>23176707
He sighed for the tenth time.

>> No.23189822

>>23189807
I sigh a lot irl, drives my family up the wall and a good way to find out if I brushed my teeth well.

>> No.23189954
File: 325 KB, 1280x1280, 1709767478786242.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23189954

>>23189802
HOLY FUCK I played Marathon many years ago and the Gheritt White terminal always stuck with me. On several occasions I've written small stories inspired by it, and yeah, I had GW in mind for this little writing exercise with the lighthouse schizo guy. So I guess I was on point if a random anon recognized the influence. Damn, I did not imagine in a million years that anyone would make this connection

>> No.23190004
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23190004

>> No.23190013

Are there any resources on how to write when you suffer from aphantasia?

>> No.23190094

>>23189562
You give them a core belief (or The Lie as it's commonly referred to as) that's relevant to their upbringing and exposure to the environment in order to have them work through it throughout the story
It can reflect one of your core beliefs about the world or society but you have to remember it has to be consistently challenged by the world around them in order for the character to feel believable and consistent

>> No.23190261
File: 151 KB, 1024x1024, screencap of the alleged film.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23190261

I'm back with my fucking screenplay
https://litter.catbox.moe/fcf7j3.pdf
If I'm really lucky, like won-the-lottery lucky, like tripped-and-fell-into-a-time-portal-and-landed-balls-deep-in-Helen-of-Troy lucky, someone will critique my prose, or structure, or maybe even my dialogue instead of just shitting on me for formatting wrong
Anyway you fellas have a nice evening

>> No.23190267

>>23190261
>someone will critique my prose
>fucking screenplay
Not dling any pdfs btw

>> No.23190467

>>23190013
I don't see it as such an obstacle. It could actually help you, because the biggest problem afflicting amateur writers is overloading their story with meaningless description just because they want to make sure the reader is picturing the exact same details as they are. What's really vivid for a reader is not adjectives describing the sunlight but the sense that they are in the head of a character and following their chain of thought.

>> No.23190497
File: 145 KB, 1440x1793, 419368394_2086778298339373_1802984594172670458_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23190497

The start of a story in which a young man gets entangled with a retired writer of pulp romances. With some freaky fetishy consequences that I won't go into here.

https://pastes.io/nxcszenoeo

>> No.23190675

>join an extracurricular creative writing group at uni
>people barely show up because they always have something better to do
>sign up for a creative writing class
>1/5 of the course is over and so far we've had zero (0) writing assignments and just listen to lectures about how emotions can be used as fuel for creative writing
Bros, I think I might be on my own after all...

>> No.23190884

>>23190675
The secret is you always were

>> No.23190917

>>23190267
I downloaded it and scanned it with Windows Defender. It was clean.

>> No.23190921
File: 34 KB, 584x512, Kitara apustus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23190921

>>23190884
I walk a lonely rode
It's the only one that I have ever known

>> No.23191024
File: 315 KB, 1560x616, Screenshot 2024-03-16 134013.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23191024

>>23176604

>> No.23191036

>>23191024
What are looking for feedback on? It's hard to know what to say about a short no-context description of a guy drinking a beer and throwing up. If you're able to tell an interesting story about that beer then these would be a perfectly serviceable couple of paragraphs. But there's nothing of interest in these paragraphs themselves.

>> No.23191480

>>23190267
>Not dling any pdfs
OK, I fucked up the spacing in a couple places but here's all the text, just for you
https://pastes.io/obsoyeigan

>> No.23191560
File: 214 KB, 415x645, Screenshot 2024-01-16 210613.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23191560

How do I avoid botching an industry connect, specifically film?

>> No.23191892

So I've been daydrinking and reading a very telling Calvino chapter while going through a reading of Moby Dick after finishing it. In a letter to the only woman who liked Moby Dick, Melville highlights something I think is important to writers.
>...you, with your spiritualizing nature, see more things than other people, and by the same process, refine all you see, so that they are not the same things that other people see, but things which while you think you but humbly discover them, you do in fact create them for yourself---
this is an angel I've wrestled with through long nights. The image presented, the thing the writer writes of, is only a phenomenal vehicle for a noumenal experience within the reader. They're going to create something different, if they're capable of creating anything at all, but it is the job of the writer to give something that leads to a greater experience behind the image.

It sounds obvious, but I'd never before been able to express it so succintly. Have a nice day assholes, its beautiful weather somewhere.

>> No.23192034

>>23190497
I liked it but I feel like the character should be a little bit younger for this to make sense. Also there's no real payoff to the setup. So he accidentally gets a book in the wrong genre and... that's it. The cliche payoff here would be that he actually likes the book anyway, so you can't really do that either--or if you do, you'll need something else to surprise the reader.

Still, I like the premise. Would probably pass on the fetish stuff though.

>> No.23192135

>>23191892
Y-you too

>> No.23192293

Do you have any methods to overcome a writer's block? I have been using Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies lately, and it's working fine for me.
I've began to design my own system usign Uno cards, assigning each color-number a result for what could happen, but it's still very primitive.

>> No.23192312
File: 50 KB, 1330x717, GI4SSi1WoAAowgZ.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23192312

This is what you should be writing.

>> No.23192330

>>23192312
I refuse.
I will continue with my protagonist that faces constant moral quandaries and suffer the effects as he is forced to make harder and harder choices that go against his desire to live a gentle life.

>> No.23192365

Is this screenplay logline too cliche?
During a rescue mission, an aging special forces operator finds himself and his team trapped aboard a spaceship controlled by a malevolent AI convinced that humanity is a plague upon the galaxy.

>> No.23192422

>>23192365
Heres my attempt to improve it a bit:
Trapped aboard a spaceship, a special forces team struggles to combat the ship's malevolent AI as it initiates its plan for total human extermination.

>> No.23192588

>>23192312
Writing "what the audience would like" is creative insecurity. Write what you want to read.

>> No.23193010

I despise the way I write, any advice would be nice.
--
It was a cold February morning-
February mornings always felt coldest when the de-
Blonde hair flowed out of the cap as the snowy Feb-

Allen crosses out one word, then another, scribbling at a rate orthogonal towards any progress in his 'story'. A chewed pen cap lies to the left of the paper and on the right a lone flame is marching towards the end of its wick; the glass of the candle, Wild Lavender Springs, has been tempered black along its rims, likely the result of matchsticks left in. Allen has an aversion to heat, being burnt. Allen, self-admittedly, has an aversion to most things. Allen does have, though, a proclivity for ‘great’ literature, your Dostoyevsky, Dickens, Wallace—anyone still talked about Allen’s read, if not closely, regardless of period or genre. Allen’s pseudoautodidacticism was borne not out of any bibliophilia but rather a desire to emulate, to copy. See, Allen, all 140 pounds of him, has always wanted to be a famous novelist. Or maybe not always, he refuses to think about anything that happened more than five years ago, but certainly for as long as he chooses to remember. Yearning alone does not transmogrify words from thought, transmute lone sentences into elaborate imagery. He’s never sure what’s absent, just that his writing seems always pallid, stolid, ‘without animation or heart’ as one professor put it. Still, one must admire Allen’s persistence. The paper in front of him has undergone a chromatic transmutation of its own though, and the only splotches of white left are those poking out from behind the innumerable hesitant sentences themselves buried under criss-crossing scribbles of ink. Thin tendrils of smoke linger over the candle, offering final rites for the flame’s slow acquiescence to its end. Allen has a blank look on his face now, staring out the window over his desk across the way into an apartment opposite. A woman is laughing at the dinner table. A floor above, children are glued to the TV. He pulls down the blinds and his brows to match. He remains seated for a moment before going out in search of his first meal.

>> No.23193034

How much of a death wish is comedy? Does it "typecast" you? I have something goofy I'm working on but if I submit it to a publisher and they don't like it will they never take anything I write seriously again?

>> No.23193039

>>23193010
It was a cold February morning-
February mornings always felt coldest when the de-
Blonde hair flowed out of the cap as the snowy Feb-

Allen crossed out one word, then another, scribbling at a rate tangential towards any progress in his so-called story. By his side, a lone flame marched towards the end of its wick. Allen had an aversion to heat, being burnt. He admittedly had an aversion to most things, except for literature. ‘Great’ literature, your Dostoyevsky, Dickens, Wallace—anyone still talked about. This wasn't borne out of any bibliophilia but rather a desire to emulate, to copy. For as long as he chose to remember, he'd always wanted to be a famous novelist. He refused to think about anything that happened more than five years ago. However, his writing was pallid, stolid, ‘without animation or heart’ as one professor put it. Still, the paper had undergone a chromatic transmutation, and the only splotches of white left were those poking out from behind the innumerable hesitant sentences themselves buried under criss-crossing scribbles of ink. Thin tendrils of smoke lingered over the candle, offering final rites for the flame. Allen had a blank look on his face, staring out the window over his desk across the way into an apartment opposite. A woman laughed at her dinner table. A floor above, children were glued to the TV. He pulled down the blinds and his brows to match. He remained seated for a moment before going out in search of his first meal.

>> No.23193054

>>23193039
Fuck you why is this better and more concise than how I wrote it

>> No.23193074

>>23193054
You keep going on tangents mid sentence, like the main character. I assumed it was autobiographical.

>> No.23193132

>>23193074
Would you read a novel of my prose?

>> No.23193157

>>23193132
No. But that's a weird question since I don't really know your prose from just a paragraph.

>> No.23193203

prose doesn't matter

>> No.23193208

>>23192588
I'll do that once I've written something popular & can quit my day job & afford to write for a living.

>> No.23193267

>>23176604
Only for those interested in a longer read. The chapter comes from a book I've been working on which I just finished, and I'm only posting it because it fits with the threads topic. Shameless self shill is shameless.
I've shared some passages with other /lit/ bros in the past and got some good feedback, so if it's dogshit don't be afraid to tell me, I can take it.
-Kuzy

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dDBK6RrwToidkwKA8-cVa-wEyHlP0pNbFP-pRlwY6g8/edit?usp=sharing

>> No.23193276

>>23193203
Prose is all that matters

>> No.23193362

>>23193276
for an extremely small subset of readers, maybe. 99.9% care about story, characters, or meaning

>> No.23193372

>>23193208
I can't imagine a fate worse than giving up and selling out, but failing to

>> No.23193413

>>23193372
I can't imagine a fate worse than giving up on selling out

>> No.23193440

I need some help with something.
The protagonist of my story is sometimes compared to a specific animal in symbolic ways, but I have difficulties figuring out what animal it should be.
It’s a martial arts story, just as a heads up. Any canine or feline is generic in my opinion, so I want to avoid that. Same with dragons.
>23 year old Muay Thai user with a somewhat weird past. Guy legit abandoned his family even though they loved him because of his fight autism
>Missing his left hand, wants revenge for it.
>Weirdly bipolar. Kind of keeps to himself and is pretty chill normally. But he has a few things that absolutely infuriate him, and he’s also scarily vindictive.
>Fights with more ferocity than an actual rabid animal, constantly snarling like a beast when he throws barrages of bone shattering hits
I was considering having him be a snake but I didn’t see how that fit him

>> No.23193446

>>23193440
you just described me

>> No.23193497

>>23179637
I liked it

>> No.23193509

>>23193413
It's not that hard just write slop that's proven to sell
Or do you suck at writing or something

>> No.23193514
File: 924 KB, 535x730, bearcat.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23193514

>>23193440
the binturong

>> No.23193534

>>23193514
Huh. Not a bad idea

>> No.23193813

>>23193440
Wolverine is a classic.

>> No.23193849
File: 2.02 MB, 640x1441, image[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23193849

How might one show the characters saying the toasts here as backhanded compliments?

How would one write the toasts as being sincere with just a bit of a jesting jab inside?

>> No.23193926

>>23193440
The ratel or honey badger is a bit of a meme, but it fits.

>> No.23194047

How to know when to describe the place and when not to?
Every place I write is very detailed that I feel readers will be bored, but I'm not sure when to just write
>He walked into the room where she sucked his cock.
Instead of
>He walked into the room. Everything looked as it always did. The books were sorted by color, the rug was clean, and the desk was empty. The sun threw its threads through the small window on the wooden bed giving it the spotlight. The same bed she suck his cock on.

>> No.23194079

>>23194047
It's all about setting the scene. Does it matter that she sucked his cock in a clean room? The default is probably that the room is clean.
Now, if you said that the room was dirty, that might imply something about the characters.
Is the room dirty because one or both of them are lazy or overworked? Are they comfortable with one another to the point where they don't worry much about a certain level of distidiness?
Or does the guy have no idea who this woman is at all and he doesn't care because he is just there to dump a load and run.

In my story, I don't often describe things without reason.
Why does that guy have a skull on his wall? Well, that's because he is a hunter, and this shows that he is a somewhat powerful because he was able to hunt such a thing.
Why does he have a human skull on his wall?
That's because the guy is a doctor, but it is unrelated to his hunting.
But how does your character view this? Does he make that connection? or does he assume that this guy is a creep into human bones?

Basically. It has to matter where she is sucking cock, otherwise don't mention it.

>> No.23194107

https://pastes.io/iu6h39wmhy

>> No.23194425

https://78.media.tumblr.com/713698cd6a7e341908d93102e026aa9c/tumblr_p8a27vE8e11td3m1uo8_500.gif

What would be a good metaphor for how much the flare of this swells up during full arousal?

>> No.23194473

>>23194425
I am taking a vow to never help someone explain the visuals of a horse cock during erection.

>> No.23194487

>>23192293
Weed has broken through any writers block I've ever had like a goddam bulldozer. The trick is to stop smoking before you forget all the cool shit you came up with.

>> No.23194578

How have you incorporated chatGPT not your writing?

>> No.23194585

>>23194578
*into

>> No.23194598

>>23194585
I don't know why I even bother correcting myself on here anymore when most of the people are either bots or Israelis.

>> No.23194606

>>23194598
>says the retard promoting AI

>> No.23194610

>>23194578
>>23194585
No, you were right the first time. It is indeed NOT your writing if the computer does it for you.

>> No.23194639

>>23194610
Based.

>> No.23194901

>>23194610
I wasn't saying to claim its writing as your own. I was asking about if you used it as an aid ex. using it to correct your grammar, give you writing prompts, critique your writing. Basically what another person could help you with.

>> No.23194903

>>23182498
Overwrought, unnecesseraly pompous, highfalutin.

>> No.23194919

>>23176604
Is it bad that what I want to write is basically YA? I feel really bad about it, like I should amount to more. I don't read YA particularly. I read a lot of history and non-fiction and when it comes to fiction I've mostly kept myself confined to the classics--outside of the stuff I used to read as a kid (lots of sci-fi and classic horror). However, all I want to write about is cool characters doing magic and having adventures. I don't think I have big points to make or big ideas to share. All I want to tell is cool adventures that people find fun and maybe help convey some of my own values and larger ideas. Am I retarded? Is this bad? My literary-minded friends hate YA and a lot of people I look up to hate YA and I'm having a lot of trouble with this because all I can seem to write is YA, despite not even being an avid reader of it. Anyways, help me anons.

>> No.23194921

>>23194901
I'll use it as an entry point for research or to generate sense impressions when I'm feeling blocked or lazy. E.g here's one for a medieval castle interior:

Sight:
Flickering firelight: The flames dance across the rough-hewn stone walls, casting long, distorted shadows that writhe like living things. The firelight catches on the polished surface of a steel breastplate hanging on the wall, sending a fleeting orange glint across the room.
Tapestries with faded grandeur: Once vibrant scenes of hunts and battles are now muted with age, their threads worn thin in places, revealing the warp and weft beneath. The tapestry depicting the castle's founder hangs slightly askew, its once proud knight now appearing to slump in his saddle.
Rushes underfoot: The floor is covered with a thick layer of dried rushes, their pale yellow stalks crunching softly underfoot. Patches of dirt and grime show through where the rushes have been worn away, revealing the cold stone floor beneath.
Sound:
Crackling fire: The logs in the hearth shift and settle, sending sparks spiraling up the chimney and filling the room with a comforting crackle and hiss.
Distant barking: The faint sound of dogs barking echoes from the castle courtyard, their sharp yaps punctuated by the occasional guttural roar of a guard dog.
Wind whistling through arrow slits: A thin, cold wind whistles through the narrow arrow slits, creating a faint, mournful whine that seems to permeate the thick stone walls.
Smell:
Woodsmoke and roasted meat: The air is thick with the pungent aroma of woodsmoke, mingled with the savory scent of roasted meat wafting from the nearby kitchen.
Damp stone and mildew: A faint musty odor clings to the air, emanating from the cold, damp stone walls. The smell is strongest near the narrow windows, where condensation gathers on the stone.
Unwashed bodies and stale sweat: The lingering scent of unwashed bodies and stale sweat hangs in the air, a testament to the castle's crowded and often unhygienic conditions.
Touch:
Rough stone walls: The walls are cold and damp to the touch, their rough-hewn surface covered in a fine layer of dust and grit.
Heavy wooden furniture: The chairs and tables are made of thick, heavy wood, their surfaces worn smooth by generations of use. The wood feels cool and slightly greasy under your fingertips.
Animal furs: A thick fur rug lies in front of the fireplace, its surface soft and luxurious underfoot. The fur still retains a faint animal musk, a reminder of its origins.
Taste:
Wine with a metallic tang: The wine served in a pewter goblet is rough and acidic, leaving a metallic aftertaste on your tongue.
Hard, dry bread: The bread is dense and chewy, with a slightly sour flavor. It is filling but lacks the sweetness of finer breads.
Smoked fish: The fish served at dinner is heavily smoked, its oily flesh leaving a lingering smoky taste in your mouth.

>> No.23194962

>>23194919
There is nothing wrong with wanting to write something like that, just so long as you don't get a big head and act like it is deeper than it is.
Fun for the sake of fun is fun, fun for the sake of fun but acting like you've written the literary masterpiece of a generation is just being a cunt.

>> No.23195028

>>23193440
bear

>> No.23195039

>>23194919
Just focus on writing well. Genre is a way to sell and market books, it isn't a way to write them, and thinking too much about it will confine your work and your imagination into narrow paths. The secret of all good writing is not to write about what you love best, but about what you alone love at all. Somewhere in the combination of the things you've read, your personal history, and the things you want to write about is that unique love. Find it and write about it. It's worth it.

>> No.23195048

>>23194919
Write it. And if for some reason your characters stay with people after they read it nobody will care it's YA, they will cherish it.

>> No.23195177

>>23195028
Doesn't work, he's too scrawny to be compared to a bear.
Guy's only 187 cm and 81 kilos

>> No.23195234

>>23194919
Bitches love Animorphs.

>> No.23195265

>>23194425
>The penis shot upwards smacking against the soft underbelly making a audible flap. Blood rushed down the staff, veins popped out from the thin skin while the mushroom tip swelled up flaring around the rim of the head.

>> No.23195278

>>23194578
I use to come up with names. The downside is that it spews out the same quality like a random name generator but at least you can input more data to get something.

>> No.23195290

>>23193440
A Mongoose is what you're looking for. Aggressive, fast and nimble, but small and lean. Rolls off the tongue better than "Badger", and it fits the Muay Thai theme much better, too.

>> No.23195301

>>23195290
Actually a good one

>> No.23195456

can I get a bit of /pol/ here or should I not?
I have a need for an advice on a topic that will most likely lit up a flame war, so I am trying to be considerate

>> No.23195458

>In time of great famine, village leader makes the decision to banish a quarter of the village outside the walls so there would be enough food for everyone
>It's not confirmed, but the village likely wouldn't have survived if he hadn't done this
How morally culpable is the village chief here?

>> No.23195640

>>23195458
he isn't, unless you want him to be.

>> No.23195727

>>23195456
fuck it I'm asking anyway,

I am writing a fantasy story with boldly blatant anti-christian plot, the jewish question is not spared,

what I am asking is the reception of it,
(((the powers that be))) like currently anti-christian stuff due to fazing them out with worse stuff,
however when I will go against the (((wanted))) and christian narratives I am an enemy of both and possibly a target for a temporary truce to fuck me up in case of even hitting it mildly big
and I don't mean this in hubris sense but paranoid for my family because humans are one spiteful fucks

even though I am just aiming for this to be webnovel only... maybe I am too paranoid

>> No.23195780

>>23195727
>delusional
>mindfucked
>esl
you are at home here

>> No.23195799

>>23195727
You're absolutely delusional and the brainrot may be irreversible.

>> No.23195825

>>23195727
quit writing

>> No.23195841
File: 31 KB, 614x455, wg execution.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23195841

>>23195458

Why not install some sort of lottery type system to make it more interesting concept or just have your leader go corrupt with power exiling over the simplest infraction?

>>23193440

How about an owl? Small but predatory enough and a great fighters. Owls are just weird in general

>> No.23195848

>>23195780
>you are at home here
I know
>>23195799
I am merely stating I am going to piss the demographic of fags, jews and christians at once and acknowledge that might be a bad idea,
I wonder if it would even be allowed anywhere beside homemade website, because such approach to religion is a fobidden hot-topic

of course all would be avoided if aimed at glorious land of Nipponese, but that'll take 2 years for even language to become acceptable
>>23195825
I would, but at least 2 years would take for my drawing skill to be acceptable

>> No.23195913

>>23195841
No matter how many times Renee protested, they didn't care. He knew his fate was sealed the moment he had been cornered in an alleyway trying to escape the carnage of the city, the piles of corpses, the rivers running crimson.
He felt the rope being placed over his neck and his arms restrained. They needed someone, anyone to make an example.
His thoughts turned to his wife and two children, but he forgot them as the coils of the noose constricted his throat tighter and tighter. They came back. He had miscalculated that they had a couple days to flee from the city before the fighting became worse, but he doubted it now.
"Did they make it?" Renee managed to blurt just as his larynx was crushed by the weight of the rope tightening around his neck.
"You're not supposed to be talking," the executioner said in a monotone, flat voice.
Renee had never in his life ever seen such a larger pair of eyes on a person before, but they were expressionless and distant. Somehow, they reminded him of the moon.

>> No.23195931

>>23195841
I like this one as well.

>> No.23195988

I'm rereading the story that inspired me to write lately and feel so disheartened at how much better it is than the stuff I'm writing. Its storytelling, its use of language and symbolism, the depth of its characters, its weaving of plot threads.

The first time I read it, I felt the motivation to start writing just so I could tell a story of the same quality. 10 years later, it just makes me feel defeated, like no amount of practice could ever let me do what that author did

>> No.23195990

>>23195841
>>23195290
I like doing this thing where I listen to music that completely embodies the character while I write them out

>> No.23195994

>>23195988
What story you tease?

>> No.23195996

>>23195265
Thanks.

>> No.23196070

>>23195994
the way of kings

>> No.23196072

>>23195994
I don't like naming specific books because it kind of just gives chuds something to latch onto. Long story short, it's a series revolving around time travel with kind of a comedic science-fantasy vibe to it. The whole thing thrived on perfectly-executed complexity porn, and the banter between the characters was both verbose and highly sarcastic.

In contrast, my stories utterly lack the any sort of narrative complexity, to the extent that I'm pretty sure I'm telegraphing the entire narrative to people. While I think I'm better at comedy on some levels, my dialogue is more schlocky, and I feel like I'm still figuring out my characters despite being on the editing stage of my current novel. I'd say I'd developed my own style, but really I feel like it's just a botched attempt at imitation

>> No.23196073

>>23195990

I can't listen to music while writing I need silence I just enjoy the ambience it helps me focus more I guess.

>>23195913

I think both can work but your version of mine is less bloated

>> No.23196124

>>23196073
Why not just listen to ambient music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn6lfljADKs&list=PL6ogdCG3tAWj14MEwiUOL_QtX2cbCfO5j&index=6

>> No.23196316

what contributed to finding your voice?

>> No.23196332

>>23196316
I had to stop trying to emulate or force a voice or style that I thought worked for a given project and speak plainly in my own words. Much of it was tied up in not quite knowing what I wanted to say. Once I figured out how to get to the root of something and make a theme out of it, the rest followed. Are you asking about narrative voice or the more general metaphor of how you present a narrative and the kind of narrative you present?

>> No.23196338

>>23190497
>>23191480
>>23194107
>pastes.io
Pathetic excuse for a paste site
Words censored:
>hot
>sex
>porn
Words NOT censored:
>fucking
>cumming
>orgasm
>hentai
>breasts
>naked
>cowgirl
>ponytail
Somebody link a different one that isn't shit

>> No.23196350

>>23196332
i'm thinking, 'authenticity'; though, very general. was wondering if others were self-aware of it, and if they'd noticed when/why it was developing. your answer is more or less what i'm looking for

>> No.23196442

>>23196350
It's a very strange thing when it happens because, while I didn't find it immediately pervasive, it spread from one story to another and I had to rewrite a bunch of shit because the prior efforts lacked the ease of style that I found myself capable of. First person or "authorial" voice didn't matter; I recognized it as a certain kind of register or manner of speaking that is elevated in some sense, but clear and not like putting on a voice to do a bit. It isn't how I normally speak or form ideas, but isn't so far removed from it either. It's not the register I write posts in, although there are similarities.

I'd classify it as saying something funny vs trying to be amusing; the latter can be grating and reads like the "4chan house style" of narrative voice. Voice in the general sense is much the same.

What led me to it was writing something purely for myself, which required entertaining myself while presenting something I wouldn't cringe at. Some clarity in the prose rose from that spot and I had to work to the roots of what I was writing to make a clear expression of what I had (was required) to say instead of waffling around, only vaguely hinting at some sense of something through prose that I myself didn't know. It was when I got into the nucleus of an idea or cause of a feeling that the "voice" came to it. That some meter, prosody, alliteration or whatever else creeps in is only a reflection of the function it serves.

I think once you have that, you can develop and tailor it to a cause. Much like prose itself, it's more a transparent layer or substrate than something so concrete and definite as style or use of formative elements and can't be pointed to so directly. It's having something to say as well as the way you say it, but isn't any one element of those things; there's no component part to voice.

>> No.23196510
File: 364 KB, 1200x806, a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23196510

I watched him from behind the fallen trash. His name was "Buddy," at least, that's all I knew him as. Sometimes they called him "Bud," or "Tendy," or "Munchkin"— but to list all of the names they gave him would bore even me. I never hated Buddy, and neither did he hate me; Many times, I would sit from my spot behind the trash just to observe him. Sometimes he would sleep, sometimes he would play, sometimes he would be showered in love and affection. Again, I always loved to watch him from afar. We rarely interacted, however— I saw to that. I remember the first time that he saw me, the hairs on his back stood on end. My heart raced, of course, as the heart of any one such as myself would. I have never really been "acknowledged"— I suppose Buddy was the first one to truly perceive my existence or, really, to make me the sole object of their attention. It flattered and terrified me, and I realized that I would have to hide, regretfully, in my hole behind the trash.

Buddy's nimble footsteps raced behind me as I dug through the garbage. I could feel his small paw clutch at my tail, though it was too late— I had gotten into my hole. I knew he had in mind to kill me, to eat me, to rend my flesh between his teeth— that was alright. I knew he had no hatred in his heart. All that mattered to me was that there was someone that wanted me; For what, I don't care. Buddy became my only friend.

Any obvious flaws in the writing?

>> No.23196518

>>23196124
I typically listen to this and other dungeon synth when writing. It isn't distracting and creates an atmosphere that brings me into the world that I want to create.

>> No.23196627

Disappointingly lukewarm mess here, hope you guys have tips:
- How do you guys usually start a work (hopefully one that you actually end up finishing at least a draft of)? I'm being hit really hard with blank page syndrome right now.
- I also have this sort of problem where I get bursts of motivated energy that kind of die out into ambivalence. As a result, I always end up with bunch of ideas for "moments" pissed into a notepad and end up with no energy left for actually turning that into something.
- Finally, I find that my worldview is...small? Like, there are plenty of things which I couldn't write believably due to my lack of experience with the said topic. As a pretty common example, dealing with law. Anybody else suffer from this, or have any good tips/resources to become well rounded?

>> No.23196643

>have an idea for a story
>it's kind of fucked up and feels like it reflects too much about myself in a way that's deeply uncomfortable
How do you guys have the fortitude to do this sort of shit? Logically, I can sort of rationalize how the uncomfortably personal properties can lead to an interesting story. But when I actually try and write it, I can't help but recoil from it.

>> No.23196671

>>23196643
Make the story abstract, surreal, or about animals.

>> No.23196734

>>23196643
I write about my own life all the time just to get it out of the system

>> No.23196855

>>23196643
There couldn't be a clearer sign that a story is worth writing. I always try to push myself out of my comfort zone when I write. A story that makes you feel nothing is worthless

>> No.23196856

>>23196627
>How do you guys usually start a work
You just start hitting the keys and don't overthink it.
>I get bursts of motivated energy that kind of die out into ambivalence
Pace yourself. Stop before you get exhausted and continue another day. You build more stamina to write by writing.
>my worldview is...small?
Do research. Read books.

>> No.23196891

>>23196072
give us the wretched name, anon

>> No.23196901

>make female character of my MC to slowly fall in love with
>introduce her, plan to get back to her later
>she would get him a cool vessel and a theme of family and belonging to accompany him
>develop another female character to meet him
>realize she represents everything he wants and he represents everything she needs
>she would open the gate for far deeper discoveries and travels
>now locked myself into a love triangle I can't resolve myself
>let alone my MC
Okay, how do I tackle something like this? I didnt plan for this to be a love triangle story, I planned to end this story with a wedding and a little hapoy epilogue, now I see myself faced with the possibility to explore the story's theme of mysticism even deeper

>> No.23197096

>>23196901
I can't imagine being so interested in other human beings that I'd end up writing a love triangle so I have no clue. Maybe just let go and write it? Just write it instead of worrying about writing it. Nobody has any fucking clue what you're talking about because nobody is writing your story. Just write it and worry about it later. Or, better yet, don't worry at all!

>> No.23197193

>>23196901
Eventually a choice will have to be made.

>> No.23197344

>>23196901
Get rid of the first girl. If you wrote her in to fulfil a purpose, but that is already being filled by another and the other girl is a better fit, I don't see the point of including her. This second female character seems like an actual character, whereas the first sounds like a plot device which is no longer necessary.

>> No.23197363
File: 2.23 MB, 4080x2000, PXL_20240319_133341633.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23197363

>>23196901
An interesting dilemma. I think the answer is clear enough.

>> No.23197453

>every character I write becomes like myself
okay, whatever. write what you kno—
>can't bear to put these characters in a situation where they suffer in any meaningful way
yeah, how do i stop writing every character as a self insert?
to be honest, the second point just applies whenever i happen to end up relating to a character

>> No.23197459

>>23197453
You already hate yourself or you wouldn't be on this website, just go from there. Make the suffer for your sins.

>> No.23197476

>>23197459
I would say that I do this, though I also wouldn't call my MC a self-insert.

>> No.23197486
File: 131 KB, 900x506, image1-29.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
23197486

I wanted a scene of a wealthy man whose daughter has been deflowered demanding something from the deflowerer in return for him blessing their marriage

I wanted it to be like the Rob Roy scene where Montrose sort of sees Rob as a savage or primitive.

However I also wanted the wealthy man to be of a house famous for their robustness and size, it's just the man who deflowered his daughter is of a beastman race often seen as brutish.

So I'm kind of wondering how to have someone who is quite rugged and robust himself having a conniving appearance.

>> No.23197530

>>23197486
Just write it and post for feedback

>> No.23197533

>>23197486
I imagine that if his race is known for being brutish and unkempt, then having him be well groomed for his kind would imply something about him.
Do they have long claws? Perhaps he trims them.
Horns? Have them be polished.
Give him rings, I don't trust people who were rings outside of wedding bands.
Also this >>23197530

>> No.23197599

>>23197533
Give him rings, I don't trust people who were rings outside of wedding bands.
kek, why not?

>> No.23197603

>>23197599
Maybe it has to do with mobsters and the like wearing those gaudy rings as a way to flaunt their wealth, and I associate the flaunting of wealth with greed.

>> No.23197682

>>23176604
Most anon's would greatly improve their writing if they read Hugh Blairs lectures on taste and criticism.

>> No.23197686

>>23197682
>Most anons would greatly improve their writing if they read
ftfy

>> No.23197713

>>23197533
No no, the wealthy man known for robustness is the conniving and wealthy guy who I wanted to hold himself somewhat above the beastman.

The guy from the savage race is the one that fucked his daughter before marriage and now is asking for his blessing to marry her.

I was thinking the beastmen traditionally do not wear shirts so that's one thing the wealthy man sneers at

>>23197530
On mobile atm sadly

>> No.23197740

>>23190004
>this is the average /pol/cel debating with you on 4chan in matters of civics
Really gets you contemplating

>> No.23197744

>>23197686
That too. Being conversant with several different styles and genre's of literature is the best way to develop your own style.

>> No.23197855

>>23197599
Oh, and too add onto this since I thought about it more.
My grandfather on my father's side (I never met the man) was a caterer involved with the mob, then he turned snitch to the feds, got fucked over by the fed, and had to flee the state with his family.
He was a gambler, he left my grandmother, my father, and my two uncles, and something that I remember my father saying was that he wore a large jade pinkie ring.
I never knew him, but I just don't think that I could really like the man because of how he lived his life.

>> No.23198144

>>23197603
>>23197855
Fair enough. Only thought to ask because I wear two rings, pretty much always. One was my grandfather's, he gave it to me when I was really young and ever since I grew into it I've worn it. It's still a bit large though. The second is a ring I got for myself on my fiance and I's first anniversary, over five years ago now. I bought her a skinnier, matching one too. She gets grumpy if I ever take it off so it's pretty much a part of me too. Perhaps a touch cringey, but better than matching tattoos or something.

>> No.23198151

going to write today

>> No.23198173

>>23198151
Good.
>>23198144
I get it. I was also raised Mennonite, mom's side is Amish, so jewelry of any kind has never been part of my life and I've always seen it as a bit vain.
And having matching rings is far better than matching tattoos in my opinion, and while I wouldn't wear anything with a stone on it, I could see myself with a metal band.

>> No.23198296

due to isekai sloplords being present,
is isekai Eastern Euro stuff westshit?
I wouldn't say so because Eastern Europe is practically Asia and all western sphere agrees

>> No.23198305

>>23198296
ah just now I saw an appropriate thread

>> No.23198309

>>23198296
While Eastern Europe may be located closer to the Asian subcontinent, I would still consider them western because their culture is closer to European standards than Asian ones.
This isn't unlike how despite India being objectively Asian, is seen as separate depending on where you are.