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/lit/ - Literature

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2292456 No.2292456 [Reply] [Original]

YOU WANTED THE TAR? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TAR!
----------------------------
THE APRIL READER, ISSUE 10, HOT OFF THE PRESSES
http://www.theaprilreader.org/january2012.html
http://www.theaprilreader.org/january2012.html
http://www.theaprilreader.org/january2012.html
READ IT NOW
----------------------------

"What is TAR? The April Reader is a monthly publication of poetry, prose, and other user-submitted content. Initially conceived as a successor publication to the now-defunct Zine Writers Guild, The April Reader aims to become a hub of online writing and content. Operating under the belief that the rise of the internet has allowed the written word to regain parity with mass-media and television, The April Reader hopes to serve as a launching point for the future writers of this generation"

Writers interested in submitting work for TAR issue 10 need only email it as an attachment to theaprilreader@gmail.com. Works larger than 4,000 words may be subject to serialization, our monthly cutoff is usually around the 25th, we release on the 1st of each month

>> No.2292461

NO

>> No.2292462

wut.

why would we submit for tar 10 when this is tar 10?

>> No.2292463

>>2292462
>>2292462
Oh goddammit, every time

I'm not making a new thread over this, guess it doesn't have 50% less bullshit after all..

>> No.2292469

>>2292463
>>2292463
The poetry sucks this issue man. I like the stories, but damn did you get no good poetry submissions? it was more like "my thoughts today" written down. Three of them anyway. The cowboy one sucked, but not that bad.

>> No.2292472

>>2292469
yeah, the poetry is bad

onto the stories

>> No.2292488

TAR should just stop accepting poems unless they're of good quality. Just don't even have a poetry section if this is the kind of shit getting submitted.

>> No.2292491

I really liked the first story, the featured one, although I thought it was at times a little dense with description.

I've just read 'The Metro Death' and I think it's a pointless pile of horse shit. But maybe I'm missing something.

>> No.2292492

Will you guys accept stories that have violence/sex in them? It's not the main feature of my short story, but it is definitely what you would call "adult."

>> No.2292496

>>2292492
Have you even read TAR before? Almost all the stories have sex and/or violence in them.

>> No.2292497

>>2292491
I don't know what to think about Metro Death. I didn't think it was awful, but it didn't seem like much of a story, either.

>> No.2292500

>>2292488
THIS. God damn.

>> No.2292503

Poetry this issue was complete shit. Worse than last time. Yet a smaller selection of crap so that's something good.

All the long ones were a waste of time. Poem 1 (I don't care to learn their awful names) starts out and I thought hey it might be good. But the train crashes and what's left isn't even bad in the way that it's interesting. Poem 2 is too long didn't read. Unfortunately I read it. Written like a /sci/duck retard attempting poetry for the first time. The cowboy one was okay in a part or two, but it's pretty pointless and in the end I hate this one the least. The untitled spiritual faggot poem at the end was just gay.

None of these seemed to even really register as poetry to me.

I'll rank the stories later.

>> No.2292505

ITT: the issue-of-the-month is poetry

>> No.2292509

>>2292491

I was enthralled by A Modern Comedy.

The depiction of the father & son relationship had an essence of what I feel when I read Chabon's work: it's like I'm reading something that actually happened. Note that I said an essence of; it obviously isn't perfect. But it felt like a real situation.

This might just be me, but in the situation the story's about, I think would work better if it was predominantly dialogue. The detail of their movement and internal thoughts at time seemed a bit heavy (but only a little). I think you could have cut some of it out and the story would have been better. But remember all that might just be personal preference, and that I'm no professional critic.

I really liked the way you used the video game to reflect the boy's aloofness, and the feeling that he wasn't actually going anywhere, and that things were just ebbing and flowing around him. I felt genuine sympathy for the character, and for the father, too.

I particularly liked the line:
>, but proceeded undeterred in his bid to walk vicariously through his 8-bit hero.

The last line is great. The language in general is great.

The only other thing I feel it could have used was more allusion as to why the father is leaving, although leaving it out had the nice effect of rendering it irrelevant in regards to the boy's detachment.

>> No.2292511

>>2292491
It was interesting, I feel like whatever is actually happening went over my head a little bit. The part in German was a cool twist, I guess.

>> No.2292512

>>2292509
ummm. haha. I just want to say that this story hit a little too close to home for me...

it scared me, a bit. WAY too close to the bone

>> No.2292537

bump for more discussion

keep up the good work Prole & Co.

>> No.2292538

I liked the stories.
The poems were shit.

>> No.2292547

>>2292538
yeah and if you think, a lot of people were saying shit about the editors not being able to tell good poetry when the truth is no good poetry gets sent to them

>> No.2292557

>>2292537
Shouldn't that be, Prole and Čo?

>> No.2292581

this issue is a bit low-key

is spyre hunters worth reading? it is kind of long

>> No.2292601

>>2292581
Read it and find out.

>> No.2292618

>>2292547
No. They pick shit consistently. I had sent them a poem and they could have easily published it. Sure mine wasn't good, but it was better than the ones published. The thing is I think Prole thinks longer poems are better, but they aren't. See previous issues an you might understand. They do know good stories.

>> No.2292626

>>2292618
Post your poem and we will see, faggot.

>> No.2292633

>>2292618
Yeah, post it. We'll judge.

>> No.2292635

>>2292618
chicken shit faggot

>> No.2292653

>>2292618
still no post

>> No.2292661

>>2292626
>>2292633
>>2292635
>>2292626
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem is better
The the shit
TAR has given you.

>> No.2292663

You published my first draft of Christmas instead of the second by the way.

>> No.2292664

>>2292661
NO.

>> No.2292666

>>2292663
It was a shitty blog entry, anyway. You're lucky they took it at all.

>> No.2292669

>>2292666
666 doesn't lie. Your entry was shit, man.

>> No.2292671

>>2292626
>>2292633
>>2292635
I don't think I'll post it here. Maybe on another site and then a link. I dont trust 4chan boards at all. Plus seems like it won't really matter about my quality you'll still be hurping and durping. Anyway I still think they don't know shit about picking good poetry. But they know decent stories. Kinda buttmad aren't you guys. I did say mine was crap. Just better crap then theirs. Mine had a few peanuts in it.

>> No.2292675

>>2292671
What a long way to go to say your poem is shit.

>> No.2292677

>>2292671
Oh, so you're using the fact that this is 4chan as an excuse? You honestly think someone is going to steal it? I hope you're just being a chickenshit, because that is royally fucking stupid.

>> No.2292682

>>2292677
Totally stupid.

>> No.2292685

oh my god every fucking TAR thread has some dickwad bitching about how his poetry is superior to all the poems in the issue

fuck off with this shit

>> No.2292689

>>2292685
This.

It is always some butthurt "poet" who wrote some piece of shit in 5 minutes and thinks he should make the cut. Fuck off, you fucking losers.

>> No.2292716

Bump, because TAR is better than all the shit on Page 0 combined.

>> No.2292735
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2292735

>>2292671
It's cool dude, we get it.

>> No.2292751
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2292751

The level of hate in this thread is off the charts, even for a TAR thread

Gentlemen. Cool it

>> No.2292760

just opened it on up, i will report back with my arbitrary reviews of the stories some time in the next few hours.

>> No.2292795

bump for others

>> No.2292864 [DELETED] 

Author of "metro death" here.

I just wanted to say that my first draft was published. I had expanded the piece to 660 words, renamed it to "Clandestine" and resubmitted it. I personally thought it was better then "metro death" but maybe the editors had a better eye. Anyway if anyone wants to read the longer piece here's the link:

http://pastebin.com/vAzxgUdv

>> No.2292865

Author of "metro death" here.

I just wanted to say that my first draft was published. I had expanded the piece to 660 words, renamed it to "Clandestine" and resubmitted it. I personally thought it was better then "metro death" but maybe the editors had a better eye. Anyway if anyone wants to read the longer piece here's the link:

http://pastebin.com/vAzxgUdv

>> No.2292870

>>2292865

where was it published?

>> No.2292872

>>2292870

Published into TAR

>> No.2292883

Poetry ratings (on a TAR scale)

>Imperium of Man
2/10
This is just psuedo-whimsical dreck. It reeks of pretension; dreams are magical! It says nothing, it's just a dry superficial smattering of tired imagery.

>An Ode to Narrative Contingency
0/10
Absolutely awful. This poem is equivalent to the squirts. A watery deluge of shit. The only difference is that diarrhea is simply flushed down, not published.

>The West
5/10
Some interesting ideas that don't seem to develop. A few good lines.

>Untitled
1/10
This is not a poem. It is a shallow rant that is grossly impressed with itself, plus line breaks. No creativity or craftsmanship, just a half-baked witless idea written plainly.

TAR has shown in the last two issues a complete failure with picking the poetry. This isn't just a vague mean statement from someone who wants to cut others down. Most of the poetry is simply of no quality whatsoever and it's pretty obvious that no one deciding what gets accepted knows much about the subject. I'd volunteer to help but there is simply no way I am paying 10 dollars a month to do that.

>> No.2292913

bump

>> No.2292929

for authors of metro and christmas: submit your final fucking draft only once

>> No.2292938

>>2292883
Or, you know, they do not get any good poetry submissions. In which case they shouldn't publish any poetry that month at all. That would make people want to submit better things for the next issue - they'd want to feel like they did better than everyone last month by being included.

I think it's more a problem of shit submissions than shit decisions.

>> No.2292941

the ode to narrative contingency poem is the very definition of teenage suicide poetry

>> No.2292967

>>2292941
>Decapitation of Existence
>Executed via chainsaw

2deep4u maybe?

>> No.2292971

I wasn't expecting my cynical drawl on love to be published, but I hope somebody enjoys it.

>> No.2292978

cordyceps - 9/10 - fucking creepy and enjoyable. i liked it but wish there had been some hint of what had caused it all to happen, just a hint would have been enough.

>> No.2292991

>mfw when I got published
Dont care about the haters yo!

>> No.2292995

>>2292991

Dude, you got published by TAR.
It isn't really anything to be proud off, in fact, if it was a poem I'd even be ashamed.

>> No.2292997

>>2292995
So jelly

>> No.2292999

>>2292997

No, even I got published.

>> No.2293004

metro death - 6/10 - not bad writing but why do i care about this scene at all

>> No.2293021

>>2292456
7/10 Cordyceps
Alright writing.
Not that scary tho.

>> No.2293023

Im guessing Metro death is a true story
Trying to hards with words tho
6/10

>> No.2293031

>>2293023
so you think that dude killed an old bitch by pissing on her and licking her and then changed into a suit?

>> No.2293034

A modern comedy 8/10
best one so far

>> No.2293076

spyre hunters - 7/10 - interesting but could have used another edit. it felt like YA fiction tbh despite the grimdark. claire's part saved it really because emily's was shit

>> No.2293077

>>2292456
Why the hatred toward poetry.
The first one is quite good if you read it out loud.

>> No.2293095

Christmas 6/10
Started off good.
Turned into a cliche painting of the american holiday
Still got some fuzzy feelings tho

>> No.2293099

>Submit for Tar 11
>11
>Dubs
>Patrick Bateman fanfic issue

>> No.2293103

>>2293099
99 must do

>> No.2293161

I get the impression Karl Skarin is not a native speaker of English - on the level of grammar and punctuation, "The Imperium of Man" is horrible. I would also accuse it of being a touch overwrought, but I think that's leavened a bit by its lighthearted quirkiness, which I found endearing:
>I spot a spaceship docking - in my bed
I even got a sense of self-deprecation from it, which saves it from the self-seriousness that "The West" and "An Ode to Narrative Contingency" suffer from. I didn't even bother to finish the latter, because its lack of emotional engagement fails to justify its length.

I think of all the poems in this issue, Karl Skarin's seems to show the most promise. Having said that, he should either sort out his command of English or write in his native language.

>> No.2293223

>>2293095
Christmas read like a long blog entry, to me. I thought it was annoying, really.

>> No.2293229

>>2292883
I'm sorry, but you're a total shitwit if you think there were some stellar gems sent in that TAR just decided to neglect for the trash poems they put in.

It's not like the 21st Century's Percy Bysshe Shelley's submissions are being denied. This is simply the best poems that are getting submitted. It has nothing to do with TAR's "ability to pick poems," dumbfuck.

>> No.2293234

>>2293099
I got an email saying my dick size can be enlarged by 4 inches in just 4 weeks if I subscribe to their program. I replied that I was satisfied with my penis size, but I appreciate the offer. I like to think that someone in an office somewhere was drinking his or her coffee when my email arrived. I think that when they read it they probably felt good and spent the rest of the day at work feeling appreciated.

what I'm trying to say is: FUCK DOUBLES FAGGOT. Gb2/v/

>> No.2293244

<3

>> No.2293246

>>2293234
cool story, bro

>> No.2293259

http://pastebin.com/mk8y10sA

if anyone is interested here is the second draft of Christmas that I wanted to get published. I added and cut some things to make it less "blog post-y" than the original.

>>2293095
>Turned into a cliche painting of the american holiday

That's the trap of writing a Christmas story they almost always end up cliche. From the reviews it seems like I missed my aim for Truman Capote and hit somewhere slightly above Tracie Peterson.

>>2293223
>Christmas read like a long blog entry, to me. I thought it was annoying, really.

There were a lot of annoying and somewhat self pitying sections in the first draft that I toned down or took out. I'd appreciate it if you could give the alternate draft a look and see if it is an improvement.

>> No.2293279

>>2293229

Shouldn't the blame then be put on /lit/'s inability to write decent poetry rather than TAR's inability to pick out decent poetry?

>> No.2293283

>>2293259
Um, no, I'm not reading the same story again.

Next time, polish your piece and send that one and only final draft to TAR.

>> No.2293340

Is anyone writing something good for next issue? I wasn't thinking about writing anything until I read some of this stuff.

>> No.2293349

>>2293161
>>2293161
>>2293161
Karl here. You are right on the money. Im not english native. But whats the point writing in my native tongue since TAR readers wouldn't understand those poems.

Im sorry to hear you feel that the poem is terrible but never the less i appreciate you for taking the time to make some kind of actual critique.

>> No.2293353

>>2293349
We love you, Karl.

>> No.2293374

Is it less terrible now?

>> No.2293376

>>2293349
I liked it, it was one of the better ones in my opinion.
Keep working on your writing, I can only imagine how better you are in your own native tongue.
What you did for TAR was quite respectable in my eyes.

If anything take pride in that you succeeded in getting published, and some failed.

>> No.2293394

Karl here again.
The entire poem started with that sentence "I spot a spaceship docking - in my bed."

I've been extremely poor for two months and basically everything I had in my apartment was a matress.

So when I came home from work, tired, i'd usually cook myself a small meal then got to bed. Because there was really nothing else to do at the time.

And I started to work with the poem from that sentence.

If you want to know more about the poem just ask.

>> No.2293396

>>2293394

i bet you're lonely.

>> No.2293403

>>2293396
Haha, yep. Sure am.
Or rather, I got kicked out from the apartment and im currently living at my friends place for a while. So at least i got him.

>> No.2293405

>>2293403
Do you two have buttsex? You should write a poem about that.

>> No.2293415

>>2293405

anal fidilties
creamy jizz
soothe my herpies
rimjob kiss.

>> No.2293459

>>2293349
Hiya. It's >>2293161 here again.
I only find your poem terrible grammatically. As a whole I'd give it a pretty solid 6/10. I may have come off harsher than I intended to. Keep at it!

If you write in your native language you might have a shot at getting published in a non-amateur journal. I've no idea what your skills are like in your native language.

>> No.2293475

>>2293394
The poem start out okay and has some okay (not good, not great) moments. The thing is it really needed editing. It's not better than "the west" (to me) but like it the second most.

>everyone is implying that the authors should submit final drafts first and only and that they should be almost spotless.

I don't think this makes sense. I thought TAR was all about communication with the submitters. Didn't they stop emailing if you got in or not. It's not a big deal to me, but wouldn't that be convenient? At least to tell the ones that got in that they are actually in (almost every Zine does that). Anyway I agree with the guys above. They should just hold up their poetry if they don't get any good ones.

I also like the idea of a best of year issue.

And please TAR don't have artwork like the ZWG.

>> No.2293482

>>2293459
6/10

- not even for TAR would I give this poem a 6/10.

By 6 you are saying he passed. He did not pass.

>> No.2293486

>>2293475
Well, why the fuck should TAR get multiple drafts of the same fucking story? How obnoxious that would be.

Polish your shit and send it in. Don't send a new draft every week, like a dumbfuck, then whine about how they published an "old draft." The two guys who did that this issue should be shot in their faces.

>> No.2293489

a modern comedy is pretty great but (a) i think it'd be better with a specific game instead of generic vidya and (b) "cognitive flinch" needs to not be in there

>> No.2293496

>>2293489
It's pretty obvious it's pokemon, man.

>> No.2293503

>>2293496

ok, i can see that, but making it a little more pokemon specific would be neater i think

like "he squared off against a wild koffing" instead of "blah blah 8 bit hero blah blah"

>> No.2293506

i did not care for "an ode to narrative contingency"

>> No.2293509

>>2293503
nope.jpg

It's better to keep it unspecified. Just because you want kitchy, shitty references about catching an Ekans doesn't mean that's what a good writer would put in their story. The story isn't about that shit.

>> No.2293513

>>2293509

it's almost never better to keep something unspecified in a story unless you're doing so for a specific narrative purpose

detail and specificity, motherfuckers, detail and specificity

>> No.2293516

The Metro Death:

Nice! Flash fiction is tough and you manage to do a lot with one page. Kind of reminded me of American Psycho. Grammatically, I would just look at one sentence: "With the rattling I groaned in sync." That's a bit awkward and passive for me. Why not just "I groaned in sync with the rattling"? Overall, a solid and concise piece. Well done.

Christmas:

Pretty sad and bittersweet at some parts. I was fortunate enough to live in a house where if I asked for Mega Man X I was sure I would get it. Well written.

A Modern Comedy:

Well, I didn't laugh :-( Goddamn. Christmas time brings up some sad shit. Anyway, very realistic. A lot of people here who were raised on video games can probably relate. Great dialogue too, felt very real.

Hardy's Rumble:

I couldn't really get into this one. Sorry. It seems like you're trying to make the prose very lyrical and while I can appreciate the effort, it just doesn't work for me.

>> No.2293517

>>2293486
You are an idiot. Most online magazines force you to edit your story anyway. This is a communication error and in the end TAR editors are responsible. Yes it should be a good draft that's been looked at many times, but they should not only allow drafts to be revised but also force them to tighten up their story and polish it. TAR really needs to have a different cut off date. And have a two monthe period: you submit in January you are published in March.

>> No.2293529

>>2293517
I agree with this poster.

>> No.2293536

>>2293513
Righhhhht.

>> No.2293540

>>2293517
What do you actually expect the TAR editors to do? Workshop the shit that gets submitted? Jes-us.

>> No.2293543

>>2293536

the general is contained within the particular, n00b

>> No.2293546

>>2293543
ITT: Amateurs give advice.

>> No.2293552

>>2293543
Read more bro.

>> No.2293554

>>2293546

But it is none the less entertaining. I love these TAR threads. It's shit literature with even worse poetry and arguably the advice is worse then both combined. It sums up lit's all-round ability pretty well every month pretty accurately my opinion.

>> No.2293557

>>2293552
>>2293546

ok assuming this isn't trolling what lit are you guys reading where the author doesn't strive to be as specific as possible? feel like i'm in bizarro world here atm

>> No.2293560

>>2293557

>kafka
>hemingway

just two off the top of my head.

>> No.2293565

>>2293557
read hemingway

less is more. there is no reason to describe every fold in some chick's chemise. that shit's for amateurs

>> No.2293569

>>2293560

what? you can be concise and specific, which is what both of them do

look at their word choices, dude

>> No.2293571

>>2293540
Reread my post idiot.

>> No.2293575

>>2293569
You're being a dumb troll, whether it's intentional or not.

>> No.2293578

>>2293486
Hold it. It isn't reasonable to attack authors for pointing out errors in the publication. While it is often difficult to keep track of the various drafts, the criticism regarding these two submissions is entirely valid and TAR should have caught it. This is my own fault, and I will update issue 10 later today to reflect these needed changes.

TAR is not a large organization, If we were to have stringent submission guidelines our publication size would decrease significantly. Multiple drafts of the same submission are legitimate.

>> No.2293582

>>2293565

for fuck's sake, dude, i'm not saying throw everything in there, but pick a few specific and vivid details and you won't need all the generalities and bloviating

hemingway and raymond carver are about as "less is more" as it gets and they're perfect examples of what i'm talking about

work with me here /lit/

>> No.2293585

>>2293557
http://www.gummyprint.com/blog/archives/hills-like-white-elephants-complete-story/

>> No.2293589

>>2293569

Read "the trial", a whole book about a prosecution where we do not know the claims made against K.

>For sale: baby shoes, never used. ~Hemingway

Tells a whole story while being indirect instead of consize and specific.

>> No.2293592

>>2293585
this is a good example. being all "hurr durr, why not mention that the kid's Pikachu is evolving?!" is like saying "why don't they just say abortion?"

>> No.2293594

>>2293592

So you're saying evolution is comparable to abortion? You must be a christfag.

>> No.2293595

This thread shows that /lit/ has some weird notions about literature.

Polite sage.

>> No.2293601

>>2293516

>"With the rattling I groaned in sync." That's a bit awkward and passive for me. Why not just "I groaned in sync with the rattling"?

Because then it seems like an intentional action and not a synchronisation of nature/technology and death.

I definitely prefer it the original way.

>> No.2293602

>>2293592
You are an idiot.

>> No.2293604

>>2293592

no

>He allowed himself a mild attitude of annoyance at the interruption, but proceeded undeterred in his bid to walk vicariously through his 8-bit hero.

is a bad, general, generic sentence in a mostly good story

if it said something specific to the game instead it would both underscore how immersed the kid is in his video world, and how alien the gaming expericne is to the father

that is literally all i am saying here

>> No.2293609

>>2293604
But you're wrong.

>> No.2293613

>>2293604
Yeah, I disagree with you, too.

>> No.2293619

>>2293613
>>2293609

that's cool, you're entitled to your bad opinion

>> No.2293620

>>2293604
This sentence is wanton in its inelegant verbosity. Other than, pretty good story - made me sad.

>> No.2293634

>>2293619
That's cool youre entitled to be mad. Oh wait not really entitled but I don't care. Be happy bro. Don't worry.

>> No.2293647

how do you survive being such pedantic fucks? Do you save the same nitpicking attitude for when scornfully critiquing your own every day lives? Do you not self berate to death? How have you not all killed yourselves? Do you wear a special crown that keeps your own pomposity from leaking into the shit storm that consistently confronts your eyes? Do you have special goggles? Are you fucking judge dredd?

>> No.2293648

>>2293647
I am the law.

>> No.2293649

>>2293647

hahaha so good.

>> No.2293650

>>2293647
This is how every TAR thread is.

>> No.2293652

>>2293647
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/hl-50080814/kids_in_the_hall_editors_intro_film_season_1/

>> No.2293654

>>2293647
Look at this childish oneupmanship:
>>2293634
>>2293619
>>2293609
It's because of people like this that the world sucks so much ass.

>> No.2293656

>>2293647

Its posts like this why I like TAR threads.

>> No.2293657

>>2293654

what do you post thats so great bitch

>> No.2293670

>>2293657
Grasp the mechanics of debate before participating in one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tu_quoque

But, to answer
your off-topic question, I posted these critiques: >>2293161
>>2293459

>> No.2293675

>>2293670
Fat-ass.

>> No.2293710

Writing is hard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb3j2m31S6U

>> No.2293749

This
fucking
thread

>> No.2293767

>>2293647
That's silly. No one is being pedantic in this thread. They are being themselves discussing something they care about. The thing is this happens in every almost every board like /lit/. All you really did was ask a bunch of pointless questions that you already assume you know the answer to. Just because /lit/ is filled with douches doesn't mean they are being pedantic.

>> No.2293773

>>2293710
>Do you save the same nitpicking attitude for when scornfully critiquing your own every day lives? Do you not self berate to death? How have you not all killed yourselves?

Honestly, I think being cursed with this mindset has made me a great writer.

>> No.2293785

For all Poets:

Remember, the key to survival in TAR is to keep everything as ambiguous and short as possible.
The key is brevity. The average /lit/erate can only process so much with their small minds and intellect.
Try and make everything you write sound exactly like hemmingway.
This way you'll only get flamed mildly by all the competition who failed to get published!

>> No.2293791

I'm gonna fuck the TAR up next month. Then I'll come into the TAR thread and say YEAH THAT ONE WAS MINE DEAL WITH IT YOU FILTHY CUNTS and then we'll all have good time

>> No.2293840

>>2293785
No some earlier issues had longer poems I've enjoyed and so have others. Last issue had one good poem. This issue had none. There was no flow. At least the early short and sweet poems were short and sweet, not long and drawn out. Length has nothing to do with it. /Lit/ has been harsh in the past I'll give you that, but these poems aren't good. The West could be. It isn't though. On the other hand I did enjoy the stories.

>> No.2293863

>>2293840
>At least the last publication of TAR had some memorable texts
>But this HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST EVER

Gee, i've never heard this before

>> No.2293864
File: 117 KB, 353x409, tfw.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2293864

>tfw not considered an editor henceforth

also what happened to the irc. is it completely abandoned?

>> No.2293868

>>2293773

>Honestly, I think being cursed with this mindset has made me a great writer.

I think it's made me a depressed and anxious addict, the thin cream veil upon the crop of shit being that words seem to articulate themselves from the pools of pain and feeling as a necessary rebuke to terrible thoughts regarding people and life, allowing me a tool with which to navigate the oceans of melancholy and perhaps lay down the foundations for those who wish, or who are forced to travel those oceans alone in the future.

>> No.2293889

>>2293394
Why did you write such a terrible poem?

>> No.2293890

>>2293863
That's probably ecause I didn't post that you dense faggot.

>> No.2293942

>>2293889
Because I think it was good.

>> No.2293947

>>2293868 >>2293868 VeiL
VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868
>>2293868>>229 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 3868 VeiL
Ve>>229386 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 8 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 VeiL
VeiL
iL
VeiL>>2293 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>> VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 >2293868 868 VeiL
>>>>2293868 VeiL>>2293868 VeiL
>>>>2293868

>> No.2293954

>>2293947
where hav u been

>> No.2293964

>>2293947


Is veil a kind of meat?

>> No.2293966

>>2293954
>>2293947

People come in with shitter then par posts, and geuss what they are tripfags.

>> No.2294180

christmas - 7/10 - it sounded like a true story. i think the last line was a little unnecessary and smacked of "THIS IS IMPORTANT". but otherwise good.

>> No.2294189

modern comedy - 8/10 - pretty good but it also seemed like a true story. get pretty tired with all the broken home stories but i guess it's becoming pretty common these days

>> No.2294205 [DELETED] 

>>2293864
Aside from hosting the site, you hadn't done anything remotely related to editing for at least the last 3 months. This fucks up the whole council format, not to mention it would make no sense that we drop the award sum to $20 when we have three editors (who should technically be contributing $10 each)

I talked with Matthew, and he (reluctantly) agreed to back the kick vote. I didn't think you'd mind since you were so disconnected from the process anyways. We still include you in the "special thanks" section for services rendered, I figured it was just a return to your position as it had been in the ZWG

Feel free to email both of us, I'll try being around on IRC as much as possible

>> No.2294246
File: 1005 KB, 256x144, oh.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2294246

>>2293864
>>2294205

OH SHIT DRAMA

>> No.2294278

I think you guys should be rougher editors, and I'd like to know who the editors are as well, I think it is weird that this is not mentioned in the magazine.

>> No.2294297

>>2294278
See: end credits

>> No.2294314

for all the hate in this thread i thought that this issue was pretty solid for stories. the only one that didn't interest me at all was the last one, i don't even remember its name.

never read poetry

>> No.2294335

>>2294278
Rougher?

>> No.2294401

>>2294335
Go deeper!

I am glad you guys respond and read these threads. That takes some balls considering the never ending hatred for TAR.

>> No.2294407

>>2294401

Its a love-hate thing

>> No.2294412

>>2294314

The last one wasn't really a story. more a fleeting moment of wonderment.

>> No.2294414

>>2294401
Give us an example of what you mean, if you will.

>> No.2294462

>>2294414

Another example? You've been given two prime pieces of advice.

Just go deeper man. Go rougher and deeper. Get there. Faster. Faster. Faster. FASTER.RIGHTTHEREOHYGODRIGHTTHEREOHYEAHFUCKMESILLYOHHHHHHH!!!

>> No.2294513
File: 236 KB, 216x216, holyshit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2294513

>>2294462

>> No.2294528

>>2294462
Jesus laffed.

>> No.2294614

Spammers? on my /lit/?

>> No.2294686

>>2294614
Seems like the shit is from /co/. goddammit this board has no moderation

>> No.2294695

dox litmod

>> No.2294712

>>2294695
seems to have stopped, thankfully.

>> No.2294734

TAR!!!! don't do illustrations, just get more attractive layout/format for both publication and site!

>> No.2294747

>>2294734
I'd like an illustration or two.

>> No.2294750

>>2294734
http://banthafodder.deviantart.com/
>implying highest quality

>> No.2294755

>>2294750
http://banthafodder.deviantart.com/gallery/27581471
He did those for the ZWG. If you want my opinion, I'm sticking with high quality. This type of black-and-white illustration will mesh very nicely with our current publication format

>> No.2294757

>>2294750
He is not bad at all.

>> No.2294764

>>2294755
Prole! I love you, but Matthew is a better writer.

:x Love you guys.

>> No.2294780

>>2294764
Aha, you're right about that. Matthew is an excellent asset for TAR, I hate to think what things would have been like without him.

>> No.2294790

>>2294750

Good illustrations, you should definitely get him to imbue his creativity with a ralph steadman esque madness as to stray from looking as if he's illustrating for readers digest.

>> No.2294902

>>2294790
Agreed. It'd be a shame if the illustrations went clean cut and boring.

>> No.2295285

Bumpity bopitty bump.

>> No.2295293

my new years resolution is to submit something to TAR this month.

>> No.2295296

also, it'd be interesting to send poetry as a joke and see if it got published.

>> No.2295308

>>2295296
What do you think we are, gullible?

>> No.2295756

>>2295296
XD XD

>> No.2296102

What's your favorite story in here?

>> No.2296246

>>2296102

First one.

>> No.2296329

New TAR out. Check it out. Discuss.

>> No.2297160

>>2296102
Spyre Hunters is tl;dr.
The rest are good.

>> No.2297168

>>2295296
>implying some of us haven't already done this to test TAR

>> No.2297174

> whether or not it was dawn or dusk

Jesus fucking Christ review your shit people.

>> No.2297186

>>2297168
Tao?

>> No.2297199

Tar needs to changr their motto from blah blah harshest critics to blah blah worst poetry, because thats a more specific account of the critiques

>> No.2297213

Parole - my cell phone's .pdf opener is incapable of opening the TAR pdfs. Might you know why?

>> No.2297248

>>2297213
stop that

>> No.2297252

>>2297213
you said TAR was shit or dead or something stupid like that, anyway.

fuck off, bore from /lit/

>> No.2297508

Lol bump.

>> No.2297528

i hate these threads and i hate TAR. now i'm going to bed because /lit/ sucks right now

>> No.2297585

>>2297528
Douche.

>> No.2298077

I wrote the imperium of man poem. Earlier in this thread I got criticized because of bad grammar and punctuation.

Poem:
With worn down soles and a wary head
I spot a spaceship docking — in my bed.
Hold tight, grip the corners of the cushy helm.
Ignite, that last remaining gray matter cell.
T-minus five, four, three...
A lone explorer head out, for bounty on a boundless sea.
With eyes wide shut I rest my head
on the violet rim stretching deep,
dipping my feets in the aqueous blue terra sky,
while scraping a finer nuance of black
from the darkened void with the tip of my fingernail.
It's easy.
Infinite our choice - however it may be.
Like newborn baby stars exploding,
synapses fuse and lit up the galaxy.
Just follow the red carpet
laid out by a standing army of excited atoms
dancing to my pipers tune and big bangs.
How can the sound from one mans broken drum,
breathe life — where it ain't supposed to be none?
I feel the rhythm from Descartes beats as Zarathustras crys are
deafened.
I am, that clustering milky dust revolving round the centre of
massive black holes,
and the tiniest surge from gamma rays passing moons named from
gods of old.
I am all, there'll ever be.
What shores undreamt of have I yet to become,
what bedrock have not been cooled by my wake?
From humble origins? I ask, knowingly a wiser fools belief.
"I, descendent from a single cell — there is nothing that I can't
achieve"
As the cosmos lie sleeping with it's giant ears resting on its
paws,
I race the last light beams from an old dying sun.
Yelling, screaming and hollering.
No particle in universe reach further than mine!
Could someone please point out my errors and perhaps suggestions on what would make the poem better?

Thanks!

>> No.2298089

>>2298077
What the fuck happened to my post.
Anyway I would be helpful if you guys could come with suggestion on how to better or point out errors in my poem.

With worn down soles and a wary head
I spot a spaceship docking — in my bed.
Hold tight, grip the corners of the cushy helm.
Ignite, that last remaining gray matter cell.
T-minus five, four, three...
A lone explorer head out, for bounty on a boundless sea.

With eyes wide shut I rest my head
on the violet rim stretching deep,
dipping my feets in the aqueous blue terra sky,
while scraping a finer nuance of black
from the darkened void with the tip of my fingernail.

It's easy.
Infinite our choice - however it may be.
Like newborn baby stars exploding,
synapses fuse and lit up the galaxy.

Just follow the red carpet
laid out by a standing army of excited atoms
dancing to my pipers tune and big bangs.
How can the sound from one mans broken drum,
breathe life — where it ain't supposed to be none?
I feel the rhythm from Descartes beats as Zarathustras crys are deafened.

I am, that clustering milky dust revolving round the centre of massive black holes,
and the tiniest surge from gamma rays passing moons named from gods of old.
I am all, there'll ever be.

What shores undreamt of have I yet to become,
what bedrock have not been cooled by my wake?
From humble origins? I ask, knowingly a wiser fools belief.
"I, descendent from a single cell — there is nothing that I can't achieve"
As the cosmos lie sleeping with it's giant ears resting on its paws,
I race the last light beams from an old dying sun.
Yelling, screaming and hollering.
No particle in universe reach further than mine!

>> No.2298334

>>2297213
works fine on my iphone, your phone must suck.

>>2297528
TAR rules and i love these threads.

>> No.2298345

>>2297528
even if TAR really is that terrible, this is one of the better, on-topic threads on /lit/ right now. there are lots of horrible things that get posted on /lit/ but a discussion thread about a litmag published by members of this board and supported almost entirely by this community? why the hell wouldn't that be worth a monthly thread? jesus fucking christ, right now there's a pedo apologist thread on the next page that's lasted 2 full days now, that pnarp.com guy's self-promotion thread was bumped (by him) to the front page for a full fucking week and THIS is what you bitch about?

>> No.2298373

In the last 8 months, I've never actually read TAR. Is it worth it? I'm usually strongly opposed to reading amateur stuff on the internet, then again, all professional writers started off as amateur writers.

TAR seems like shovelware. You know, set the bar low so lots of stuff can be e-published, and then there's some diamonds in the rough.

>> No.2298386

>>2298373

Avoid the poetry altogether and glance through the thread to see if anything is particularly praised. Read only that.

That's how I roll with TAR.

>> No.2298392

>>2298386

Okay. How many stories are in each TAR? It's quite a lot, isn't it?

>> No.2298398

>>2298392

It used to be up to nine, but it is getting less, I think this one had six.

>> No.2298417

>>2298398

Really? The way people talked, I thought it was 20 or 30 stories an issue. There's only 6, and they're still really bad?

>> No.2298461

>>2298417
Why don't you just read the first story, it will take you 10 min or less

>> No.2298469

People badmouthing TAR. Turns out tyst never read it. How unexpected. I dont read TAR because I expect Joyce, Foucault or Camus. I read it because it is the aspirations of /lit/s writers -- people I talk to on à daily basis, people somewhat like me. That alone merits TAR a worthwhile read. And thank god they are changing the layout.

>> No.2298854

TAR should really stick with prose. There were some solid stories for this issue, but I don't even bother to read the poetry.

>> No.2298897

>>2298854
Why do you bother criticizing the poetry even tho you don't even read it?

Is it just because you don't like poetry?
Do you even read?

>> No.2298939 [DELETED] 
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2298939

>> No.2299079

>>2298897

I will admit, I'm biased. I'm not huge into poetry, no. I have read the poetry for the last few issues though and have always thought "meh".

The problem IMO is that it takes effort to write and complete a short story whereas people think that the rambling lines they write down in five minutes whilst smoking a joint is anything but shit. Poetry on the internet is thus typically written lazier than prose.

Not only that, but poetry seems a lot harder to judge. In past threads people have been chewed out only to later say that they only submitted in the first place because they had made a post wherein they received praise. In this thread there was a guy who was criticized and, surprise, he isn't even a native speaker. And don't forget the previous threads where people have admitted that they scribbled a "poem" down in five minutes and were genuinely surprised they were selected. Again--poetry is hard to judge and harder to write. I seriously doubt that most of the readers, writers, and editors of TAR spend as much time reading and writing poetry as they do prose.

It's been said that this issue had slightly better stories than usual and I don't think it's a coincidence that it also had LESS stories than usual. TAR should learn from this and include only a handful of poems if any.

>> No.2299121

>>2298077
>>2298089
Grammar wasn't the issue for me. Out of the long poems in this issue yours isn't the bad one. It's just a mediocre poem with some decent lines. I think it starts off fine. It just falls apart. At least you didn't write "Untitled" or that other really shitty long one.

TAR has had some decent poems:
Woolf - December Poem
>November Poems
I Cant Remember Your Face Anymore
(Nothing To See Here - is alright on second read)
>October Poems
And The Streets
On Art
>Altogether Septemeber is pretty good -
read North and Malavox's writing.
>August Poems
Allan Head is decent (not really good just decent)
Assimilation and Justin are probably my favorites.
>July Poems
Decent Poetry overshadowed by parrot porn and Boris tentacle porn. I like To A Lampshade.
>June Poems
An example of longer poetry that betters the short poetry. I didn't care for this issue much. The poetry and the stories are forgettable. Allan Head is okay here. Not great. The Haikus are decent. Not good.
>May Poems
Shorter Poems are better than the Longer ones in this issue.
>April Poems
Solid Issue for poetry. Long and short. Read this one first. Sure I would say some of the other issues have much better poetry in them, they don't however have this many enjoyable ones.

>> No.2299134

>>2299079
>>2299079
I wouldn't say the stories are better than usual. It's just a solid issue. As far as other issues, they've had much better stories in them with much worse stories, but the much better stories (consider the issue with Nogales) are pretty damn impressive.

I think they should have a poetry issue that comes out every other month or every third month. If its every other month have one issue be fiction then one issue be poetry. And make sure to give a poetry prize. I'd go for once every third month.

>> No.2299178

.

>> No.2299182

>>2299079
>>2299079
What does him being a native speaker or not have anything do to with it?

That is just a stupid argument. Why dont you point out the actual flaws in the poem instead.

>> No.2299206

>>2298373
While it is true that for a while TAR generally published mediocre work, the last few issues have been pretty decent for fiction. It isn't professional, granted, but it is entertaining due to the community aspect

>> No.2299213

>>2299206
What was even remotely decent about the last issues fiction?

>> No.2299264

>>2299213
Don't be a douche bro.

>> No.2299581

>>2299213
Volunteer opportunities was decent, a storm surrounds us was also passable

>> No.2299728

>>2299581
Both of those sucked ass. Career Opportunities? Really. And the storm one god damn never fucking ended or had a point. Post a decent sentence from either one and I might say otherwise.

>> No.2299753

>>2299121

which reminds me

is there a tier list for tars already?

it would feel so right to do one.

>> No.2299791

Do you accept essays?

>> No.2299803

>>2299753
Well there are tier lists in the other threads that are probably saved. I don't agree with all of them. As far as long poems go I like "And the streets" most (except the ending feels weak compared to the rest. There's a really good line in that poem and that's probably why I like it. Woolf was nice and is up there. The first issue is very pleasant for poetry.

There are some really good stories as well. Even the pornographic stories are interesting and pretty well written. Parrot Porn story is funny, blueberry girl story is well told. The first two issues are the only ones that don't have stories I like (except the porn one I think).

>> No.2299909

I vote for a tier list of all the best TAR stories and poetry up to this issue. We need a new thread.

>> No.2299937

>>2299791
We do. In fact, we'd love to have just about an essay every month.

>> No.2300107

Bump.

>> No.2300288

>>2299753
I've written a story that got published. It was no good, but I thought "Nogales" and that McCormick guy is good. The dirty stories are good and don't deserve half the shit these snobs give. I liked this issue for stories. Last issue was okay. I liked the voice in the storm surrounds us. I wonder if "Some Peevert" will ever get published again.

>> No.2301099

New thread?

>> No.2301106
File: 27 KB, 499x384, antique.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2301106

So I just spent 150 dollar on a 1st edition book in mind condition from one of my countrys greatest authors.

Totally worth it since its worth at least the double.

Do we have any book collectors on this board?
Share what you got.

>> No.2301110

>>2301106
Meant to create a new thread.

>> No.2301269

>>2301099
>>2301099
What new thread? Where?

>> No.2301282

>>2301110

Create a new thread, friend.

>> No.2301959

>>2299803

They said they're not accepting pornographic or "graphic" submissions any more.

Which makes me sad, because that's all I really write.

>> No.2301966

>>2301106
I'll give you twenty five bucks for it if I can hollow it out and store meth in it.

>> No.2302044

>>2301959

are you sure? I thought the parrot was a great success and metro death was 'kind of' graphic in this issue.

>> No.2302212

>>2302044

From TAR's Google+ page:

>Gratuitous sexual or otherwise graphic content will be rejected outright.

No more blueberries or tentacles :/

>> No.2302293

I got around to reading through the prose today. I'm not going to critique them, but I'll say a little about each.

>Cordyceps
I thought this was pretty solid by TAR standards, and I see why it won. It had crossed my mind in the past that a story about this particular thing would be interesting. The idea is better than the execution, but I didn't mind reading it.

>The Metro Death
I thought it was crap. Cheap, flimsy, edgy premise. No point to it. My least favorite of the issue without a doubt.

>Spyre Hunters
I liked reading it, but from a critical point of view it isn't very good. Shallow sci-fi. There's no emotional investment, so the (painfully predictable) collision of the two groups doesn't have much of an impact. I like the general feel of the world, though. Also, why the fuck are the children of the rich families killing the poor/mutated? C'mon, nigga, that ain't make no sense. My personal favorite of the issue, though, in terms of enjoyment.

>Christmas
It's not as bad as some people may've made it out to be ITT. I enjoyed reading it. I can't be arsed to read the revised version, though.

>A Modern Comedy
No me gusta. I feel like the idea could've worked, maybe, but it just didn't. The author is close to capturing some of the feeling in the scene, but still misses. Not terrible, but one of the worse pieces this issue.

>Hardy's Rumble
Shit. I would've ranked it as the worst of the bunch, but it's not even trying to be fiction, so I don't even count it. I shouldn't have to say what's the matter with this trifle.

So my personal rankings (for enjoyment, not quality) are:

>Spyre Hunters
>Cordyceps
>Christmas
>A Modern Comedy

Both Hardy's Rumble and The Metro Death are bullshit to me, so they don't even make it on the rankings.

Overall not a bad issue for prose. Poetry was abso-fucking-lutely horrendous, though. Not a single good one.

>> No.2302337

>>2302293
>implying you weren't going to critique them...

>> No.2302363

>>2302337
Critique = one post devoted to each with in-depth criticism

>> No.2302364

>>2302293
God damn I hate these posts.
Im not going to critique.
Then give lousy critique like this was good and that was bad with no underlying constructivism.

And then just go to say poetry sucked.

I mean. Your post is absolute rubbish because it says nothing. I learned absolutely nothing by reading your post except your fucking anonymous opinion. And yet it was bigger then a large majority posted in this thread.

WHO
THE
FUCK
CARES

Spare me your posting.

>> No.2302378

Prose: tried to hard; I quite liked the poetry, though.
"Imperium of Man" reminds me of Mayakovsky.
"An Ode to Narrative Contingency" has the qualities of Zvetaeva.
"The West": indefinable, and enchanting.
"Untitled": Taoist in style and ideas. Simplicity rules!

The poets didn't try to hard; therein lies their elegance and poetry.

>> No.2302395

I think /lit/ critiques too harshly based on concepts of perfection received from reading too much "renowned" literature.
If you received submissions daily like I do you'd realise that TAR isn't that bad.
In fact it's quite good.

>> No.2302405

>>2302395
>>2302395
Who are you, what office do you hold to receive sumissions on a daily basis?

Also: What do I have to pay to become an editor of TAR?

>> No.2302414

>>2302405
like ten bucks for the prize i think

>> No.2302417

>>2298089

Nothing wrong with your grammar and punctuation, it's part of what you think sounds right. It's poetry, and not an exercise in orthography. Only there are two formulations that are kitsch:

"Like newborn baby stars exploding,"

and

"[...] as Zarathustras crys are deafened."

Both could use a little freshness.

Otherwise, you combine sci-fi with poetry, and you write like a true avantgardist, so that's good, right? By going through the day before yesterday, we reach the day after tomorrow. Primitivists abide.

>> No.2302418

>>2302405
I am the lord of York.
The Queen has appointed unto me the department of homeland poetry and defence.
Does that answer your question?

>> No.2302421

>>2302414
Could be worth it.
I would like an editorial task.
I am a journalist and editor so, it would also look good on my CV.

But I guess that would close the door for own sumissions.

>> No.2302430

>>2302293
>the (painfully predictable) collision of the two groups doesn't have much of an impact

I'm interested why you'd describe it as "painfully predictable", because surely the whole point of having two threads in the first place was to have them converge? Otherwise it would just be two seperate stories interleaved with one another.

I mean, why would anyone think that they *weren't* going to intersect at all?

>> No.2302443

>>2302421

>look good on my CV

lets hope they don't investigate what TAR actually is, or you'll never get employed.

>> No.2302450

>>2302443
>implying the first I thing wouldn't be total revision of the layout and homepage

>> No.2302458

>>2302378
You have terribad tastes.

>> No.2302461

>>2302443

lazy

>> No.2302465

>>2302421
I doubt these schmucks have any way of verifying submissions by author, you could probably sneak your submissions through under a pseudonym.

>> No.2302470

>>2302458
I don't even think you read poetry, and you judge all poetry solely on your preconceived notion of what you think true poetry should be.

>> No.2302648

>>2302470
Lol your an idiot.

>> No.2302664

Oh cool. Actual critique. I might as well respond while waiting on Icehockey Junior World Championships
>>2302378
You are dead on with the Mayakowsky. The sentence: "As the cosmos lie sleeping with it's giant ears resting on its
paws,"
Is a rip-off from him to homage his genious.
I actually thought people would react on the Shakespeare quote instead of that.
But now I realize /lit/ really dont know that much poetry at all.
>>2302417
Yup, I kind of agree with you here. I feel quite lazy reading this poem.

I should have removed the paragraph including "Like newborn baby stars exploding," altogether or rewritten it.

But somehow I kind of liked the idea that it is the my synapses that create the visible universe. Thus the imperium of man.


"[...] as Zarathustras crys are deafened."
Unfresh as hell. But I thought it would be a nice homage to Nietzsche and the thoughts of reason over blind religion.

It could probaly be rewritten as well.
I also considered a different opening (non-rhyming)
>T-minus five, four, three...
>A lone explorer head out, for bounty on a boundless sea.
Instead:
T-minus five, four, three, two...
One explorer, head out, for bounty on a boundless sea.

>> No.2302743

>>2302378
Tried to hard is a terrible critique of the prose. I really wonder what previous stories you've liked.

>> No.2302770

>>2302743
By trying to hard I think he meant that the authors are tried to hard with the texts by writing fancy words, rewriting sentences to death just so they can lure the readers away from the true core of any kind of fiction -- it's story and characters.

The prose lacked a really good story. If you have a good story with genuine characters working with real motives you will automatically think the work is better.

That is why so many reacted positively towards the christmas text. It was dull and cliché but most can relate.

So, the authors read their texts and recognize something is wrong. It's not as good as the masterpieces they write.

How come? Here is where the aspiring writers chose the wrong path.

They figured it was the lack of intellectual vernacular and great variation of complex words and sentences.

Instead they should have reworked the plot and the characters.

There are several dimensions to storycreating. Somehow /lit/ seems to focus merely on the superficial ones.

That said. Some of the prose was actually alright.

>> No.2302780

>>2302743
By trying to hard I think he meant that the authors are tried to hard writing fancy words, rewriting sentences to death just so they can lure the readers away from the true core of the fiction -- it's story and characters.

Moste prose lacked a good story. With a good story and genuine characters working with true motives towards real goals, you'll find that the text naturally becomes ... better.

That is why so many reacted positively towards the christmas text. It was dull and cliché but most of us could relate.

My suspicion is that the authors read their texts and recognized that something was wrong. It wasn't as good as the masterpieces they read everyday.

How come? Here is where the aspiring writers chose the wrong path.

They figured it was the intellectual vernacular and great variation of complex words and sentences that was lacking.

Instead they should have focused on rewriting and reworking the actual plot and the characters.

There are several dimensions to storycreating. Somehow /lit/ seems to focus merely on the superficial ones.

That said. Some of the prose was actually alright.

>> No.2302817

>>2302421
I've submitted content while an editor, and probably will again. The only stipulation is you can't win the prize.

>> No.2302819

>>2302378
>>2302743
>>2302780

Goddammit it's TOO. Trying TOO hard. Fuck. Learn to English.

>> No.2302829

>>2302819
Using English correctly is "trying to hard." Get w/ the tymes.

>> No.2302865

>>2302819
English is not static. It's ever changing. To has multiple uses. To bad you can't see that.

>> No.2302871

>>2302819
>>2302829
>>2302865
Stop derailing the thread.
Focus on the matter. Did the authors try too hard with the complexity.

>> No.2302876

>>2302871
Missing a question mark there bro...

>> No.2302954

Possible things TAR could do.

Make an earlier cut off date, which would give time for revisions.
Have alternating fiction and poetry issues. This way a poetry award could be given. This way more poets would submit.
Change layout.
Continue advertising on the other boards.
Have a bio page available.
Advertise on other 4chan like websites or better websites.
Submit some of the better published material to competitions.

>> No.2302987

>>2302954

>Make an earlier cut off date, which would give time for revisions.
It would be better if the authors themselves finished the work before submitting. However I think TAR could benefit from sorting the refusals ranging from Not good enough - Passable (but unfinished).

The passable would be returned with a short comment on where improvements needed to be made and a suggestion of reworking and submitting next time.


>Have alternating fiction and poetry issues. This way a poetry award could be given. This way more poets would submit.
Nope. I like reading the poetry and varying between the two. Good poetry will get the award.

>Change layout.
Definitely

>Continue advertising on the other boards.
On select boards like /sci/, /tg/, /co/ and perhaps /v/

>Have a bio page available.
Its not TAR responsibility to become a fucking PR agent. Do you own dirty work lazy anon...

>Advertise on other 4chan like websites or better websites.
Perhaps. Thats for later on tho.

>Submit some of the better published material to competitions.
Definitely, authors permission required.

>> No.2303005

>>2302987
Good poetry probably won't get the award.

>> No.2303585

Have you posted this release on any of the other boards TAR editors?

>> No.2304222

>>2303585
I have not seen it on other boards.

>> No.2304228

Is the writing usually THIS bad?

seriously maybe give me a better issue from previous months or something

>> No.2304257

>>2302364
Yeah, real sorry that you don't care about my opinions, bro. It matters to me a lot.

I wrote that because I like sharing my opinions, as do you (as evinced by your post [which is just as bad as my post]), but also because I know that many writers appreciate comments on how much their piece was enjoyed rather than a stylistic critique. One of the most important things as a writer is that your work is enjoyed.

I would have loved to get a post like that when I was in TAR. I'm just treating others how I'd like to be treated.

>> No.2304263

>>2304228
The writing in your post isn't exactly eye-poppingly stellar, chum.

>> No.2304568

>>2303585
>>2304222

I wonder if /tg/ would like the one written by "Anonymous of /tg/".

>> No.2304752

>>2304257
You wanted a moron to say nothing worthwhile about your story.

>> No.2304761
File: 123 KB, 253x229, datpyro3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2304761

bump

So, I'm reading the January 2012 issue.

Cordyceps - Quite enjoyable. I like how Byron has just a name tag insofar as his identity goes. That's all we need to know, and it lets us focus on the buildup of that shroomshit growing out of him. 8/10

The Metro Death - I am not as fond of this one, I'm afraid. Very brief, but as all it does is describe a heart attack with little fanfare and little purpose, I think it could've been a little longer. 4/10

Spyre Hunters - Drugs are bad m'mkay? This one ran a little long, but it's written well enough, although I didn't quite like the circumstances of how the story hits climax. Solid. 6/10

Christmas: This is a very nice, fond reflection of childhood in the 1990s. I like how conflict is portrayed through the eyes of children, who really don't grasp what's going on even as the audience does. 7.5/10

A Modern Comedy - I'm not sure if this is a critique of gamers or the lack of love in the modern family. What I do know that, like the second story, it presents a situation and nothing more. I'd like it with a little more depth, but it's not bad. 6/10

Hardy's Rumble - I rather like this; a lonely isolated man trying to make sense of the world around him before finding his sole comfort in the bottle. It does feel kind of same-ish though; a little variety is needed. 6/10

>> No.2304838

From 'A Modern Comedy'

>"His father entered and delicately closed the door behind him delicately."

Jesus man, proof-read your work. That's the worst line I've ever read and just totally ruined your story for me.

>> No.2304909

>>2304752
constructive criticism? fuck that noise? i'm not going to rework it at this point. i think general feedback from readers is the best thing from this audience. should everyone not willing to give a nuanced critique of each story not post?

we're not here to workshop the pieces in TAR. we are here as an audience/group of readers

also, for a personal jab, your writing is probably shittier than anything in TAR

>> No.2304939

>>2304838

It's intentional, it adds emphasis.

Guess you can't appreciate literary devices.

>> No.2304944

>>2304939
it's intentionally shit you mean. just because it does emphasize and is 'a literary device' doesn't mean it isn't shit.

>> No.2304948

>>2304939
i'd need to read it in the context of the story at large. taken alone like that it is painful, but i won't judge a part without the whole.

>> No.2304958

>>2304948
>>inb4 download it.
can't, not my computer. buttfuck naysayers at least you're trying. keep doing that and the rest will come

>> No.2304989

>>2304939
0/10

It was retarded.

>> No.2305040

>>2304909
Lol that was a shit jab.

I've been published thrice in TAR.

>> No.2305046

>The Metro Death

Hated it. Came across as the masturbatory fantasies of an unpopular 16 year who spends most of his time thinking very highly of himself, musing about what's wrong with the world and what he'd do to correct it. Also, it's a copy of a shit book made into a shit film. Grow up and make some friends rather than vividly imagining how you would reign terror on the world.

>> No.2305060

>>2298089
It's riddled with awful, meterless, inconsistent rhyme schemes; cliches; abstract, confused and some utterly bewiildering metaphors; spelling and grammatical errors; in fact really an absence of any poetic or other literary merit at all. It's entirely inept in every conceivable way a poem could be.

>> No.2305080

>>2305046

Author here, I don't mind bashing of the piece but you are no internet psychologist and as such should shut up.

I was actually inspired by being in Berlin's metro and seeing a seemingly agitated schizophrenic mumbling to himself while everyone was feeling uneasy, trying hard not to stare.

>> No.2305089

>>2305060

But this guy -
>>2302378

Thinks you're wrong.

>> No.2305093

>>2305080
Clearly you aren't either. Schizophrenia =/= psychopathy.

>> No.2305097

>>2305089
Are you being facetious? At any rate, I've got reasons for my opinion.

>> No.2305104

>>2305093

It wasn't about what he was, but what the people around him seemed to think that he was.

>> No.2305140

>>2305104
Which begs the question: why the heck did you write it in the first person? I'm not either of the guys you were just replying to but I agree with their assessment: it just reads like the boasting of a thoroughly unlikeable, angsty, anti-social teen who's giddy with delight that he terrorized some random stranger.

>> No.2305146

So who is making the TAR pledge this month to submit?

I will write a story about the occult!

>> No.2305169

>>2305140

Anthony burgess doesn't really seem like an angsty, anti-social teen just because he wrote A clockwork orange in first person.

>> No.2305171

>>2305104
There's nothing to really suggest that in the piece though. Maybe if it was a little longer you could get your point across more coherently. As it stands >>2305140 is correct.

>> No.2305178

>>2305097
Nice five dollar word there faggot. The thing is your opinion is wrong.

>> No.2305180

>>2305146
Good luck. ;)

>> No.2305181

>>2305178
hi there! please try not to use bigoted, hateful language. consider using words that aren't slurs to get your point across. just a polite comment. thanks!

>> No.2305184

>>2305181
I agree with this lovely person! Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbayah around the campfire! :)

>> No.2305185

>>2305169
Alex sure does.
>>2305178
0/10

>> No.2305189

>>2305181
Fuck your mothers cunt you nigger loving God fearing kike.

>> No.2305199

>>2305189

get this as a tattoo

>> No.2305205

>>2305185

>Alex sure does.

So, if the protagonist of "metro death", were to be given a name it would change the whole outlook on the prose? Cool theory bro.

>> No.2305227

>>2305205
What 'whole outlook' would change? I don't even know what you're taking issue with.

>> No.2305270

How many visitors would you say this site gets?
How many submissions each month?
What kind of stories or poems get published?
What don't?
When would I find out of I got in or not?

>> No.2305284

>>2305227

I'll try to explain it from the start:

>>2305140
>Anon mentions metro death makes it seem like author is an angsty teenager because It is written in 1st person.

>>2305169
>Point out that would make Anthony burgess seem like an angsty teenager according to his logic.

>>2305185
>Someone mentions that its Alex who seems like an angsty teenager thereby implying that giving the protagonist a name diverts the traits exposed away from the author.

>>2305205
>Point out that by using that logic giving the protagonist of metro death an own name would make it seem like the author is less angsty (change the outlook) sounds like bullshit.

Either the author personally identifies with the character and his actions or he doesn't (no matter in what narration) and it is impossible to know what the author actually thinks about his character(s) and there actions in the writing by analysing the writing, especially in fiction. That is all I'm trying to say.

>> No.2305291

Andrew (Cordyceps author) here.

I have nothing to add except hugs and kisses. Glad some of you guys liked my story.

>> No.2305331

>>2305284
Right, you misunderstood my post. I don't necessarily agree with the first guy's assessment insofar as his projection of the narrator's characteristics onto the real life author. I DO agree with both him and the other guy that the narrator comes across as antisocial rather than schizophrenic, given that there's no evidence of the latter and mountains for the former in the writing itself. In fact it's just like A Clockwork Orange in that respect, but Burgess clearly MEANT to portray a psychopath. The metro death guy didn't mean to, but ended up doing so anyway.

>> No.2305371

>>2305270

How many visitors do you get?
>Depends how many people on 4chan click the link. Usually about 200 a month.
How many contributions do you get?
>Between 9 and 12. If there's a deficit we just add a few of the editor's stories or poems.
What do you print?
>Everything we receive.
What don't you print?
>If there's a surplus we just get rid of the longest ones. Nobody likes a long read.
When would I know?
>1st February if you email us within the next two weeks.

>> No.2305378

>>2305371
>If there's a surplus we just get rid of the longest ones. Nobody likes a long read.
>/lit/

We wouldn't mind so much if they were well written.

>> No.2305410

>>2305371
Ignore this, 'tis fake.

None of us really have adequate statistics on TAR downloads, site statistics, etc. The software we had been using was apparently flawed, or something. Wildweasal was in charge of this and has been absent for a while until recently. I think we were pegging the number at around ~90 people reading TAR.

Monthly submissions? 9-12 is a pretty accurate figure. This really depends on the level of interest expressed by /lit/ and others.

We do not print everything we receive, TAR filters out the worst submissions received. Whereas during the early issues quality requirements were pretty low, over the past few months this has generally become more stringent. TAR will not publish pieces with gratuitous pornographic content

And yes, we do publish on the first of each month.

>> No.2305431

>>2305410
More like 9 am I right!?

>> No.2305927

anyone else making the TAR pledge to submit this month?

>> No.2306781

Did anyone else find Cordyceps kinda funny? I mean, the image of him waddling around with shitstained pants around his ankles with the tendril thing wrapped over his shoulder was humorous in a sick, disturbing way.

>> No.2306971

>>2305371
'TAR Ed' is an anagram of 'retard'.