/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.229]

sup /fit/,

how do i become confident and talkative, and not a boring loser like i am?

>tfw no friends
>no social skills
>almost a mute because i never say anything, don't know what to say
>always overhear coworkers talking and laughing, and wonder what i need to do for people want to tell to me, or for me to be able to tell jokes and make people laugh
i don't want to continue being me

>almost a 30 year old kv, with no friends or gf...
>still considered "shy"
help

[Anonymous No.230]

Get a job in retail

[Anonymous No.231]

First think that ur not in high school anymore. People aren't going to embarass you if you ask someone out. But don't do that at work, do that in places that no one will remember you. Like practice.

Finding friends around work is easier because it's not a relationship. Just hang around people, try to speak.

Observe your environment and think if clever things to say. Practice telling jokes.

[Anonymous No.232]

>>229
I will tell you one thing. Just talk about random boring bullshit even if you dont want to. Ask em generic everyday questions. Speak about sports, fashion. Tell them what you dont like about you. Tell em what dream you had. Ask for their opinion about your pants. Complimenta their clothes. Speak about the weather. Aks em about their holiday plans.

Eventually something will come up and you will make friends.
I did this one time even tho i was finding this very normie for me but hey i did make some friends out of all that but then i stopped doing this cause i had to put much effort for that so i said fuck it and stopped.
For the girls you need to go somewherre where it is acceptabel for you to get drunk. Get drunk and let all your shit to come out. Be cocky and all that.
Hope that helps

[Anonymous No.233]

>>230
Don't so this unless it's a sales position. If you're at a counter or a register you're going to say the same 4 sentences all day everyday

[Anonymous No.234]

>>230
i already have a full time "professional" job

>>231
i can't think of anything to say.
i overhear conversations and most people just tell stories of things that have happened to them... nothing happens to me
like stories about parties they've been to, or stories about funny conversations they have had with others. i don't have any stories and don't know how to get stories without having friends in the first place

[Anonymous No.235]

>>234
Like i said dont talk about your experiences. ask them about their experiences and look like you are interested. Also ask generic question about everyday life

[Anonymous No.236]

>>234
people love talking about themselves, try asking questions more than talking about yourself

dont go too far though, dont want to look like a cuck

[Anonymous No.237]

>>229
that's unfortunate, I used to be exactly like you but fortunately for me I started going out in my first year in college and became friends with an confident alpha group of boys and we're good friends now so their confidence has rubbed off on me now bitches love me

[Anonymous No.238]

Join a bowling league. It works without fail.

[Anonymous No.239]

>>232
thanks for the advice
other than coworkers who can i talk to, to make friends?

>>235
>>236
what do i say when asking people about experiences. people tell me stories and i just say "yeah" over and over.. i don't know how to contribute tbqh

[Anonymous No.240]

>>231
>people won't embarass you anymore if you ask one out
>but do it in places no one will remember you

[Anonymous No.241]

>>240
You can't start out being retarded in places where it will matter

[Anonymous No.242]

>>234
You needa learn to turn off the filter in your brain that makes you think "no don't say that"

The shit that pops up in your head is what makes you YOU, I only started saying whatever the fuck I felt like somewhat recently and I'd either get a positive reaction or some sort of reaction for the random shit that comes out of my mouth or I'd start a new conversation nomsayn?

>>239
>people tell me stories and i just say "yeah" over and over.. i don't know how to contribute tbqh
wtf it's not that hard you retard just say anything that you can remotely relate to or know anything that's any bit relevant to any part of their story

[Anonymous No.243]

>>229
practice

[Anonymous No.244]

>>239
One time i visited my friends house. There was his girlfriend too and so at first this situation was unexpected for but i thought that this was a good opportunity for me to practice some conversation skills. First i noticed when she said something about her nails and so asked her about what colour she likes to dye them , then i asked her about why she doesnt like red colour and bla bla bla. I know it sounds like faggotry but i was keep talking to her for a long time because the every question she was rumbling about it. Girls from my experinece love to talk a lot so i have no problem asking them these kind of questions.

The same goes for when people tell you stories.
Lets say some dude tell you that was out yesterday driinking . You can ask 1. Where was this place.2. Did he had a good time ? 3.Did he had a good company ?

Dont answer with yeah.. This is boring. Instead always when a dude ends talkin you ask a question about the topic he was talking.
Come on you are a smart man . You will figure it out.
The same goes for everyone. Dont ask creepy question tho

[Anonymous No.245]

>>239
>what do i say when asking people about experiences. people tell me stories and i just say "yeah" over and over.. i don't know how to contribute tbqh
dont say one word anti-responses like 'yeah" or whatever. try to contribute, even if its totally vapid. try to leave room for them to give a response back. for instance, they say something, try to relate, give an opinion, preferably in a way where they can respond back, keep the chain going like that. if you feel like no response can be given, change the topic to something else, keep it going.

honestly just practice, social skills is like an invisible muscle as stupid as that sounds

[Anonymous No.246]

>>230
THIS, like @fashion retail where lots of wominz go. HM or someshit !

[Anonymous No.247]

>>229
The same way you get good at literally ANTYHING ELSE.

JUST. FUCKING. PRACTICE.

You'll be shit at first, don't give up. Treat it like lifting. Be consistent, get them incremental gains, keep trying over and over, get them social reps, etc. Set goals and try to meet them.

[Anonymous No.248]

>>247
Can I just directly ask grills out on the street?

[Anonymous No.249]

>>248
No man no one does this in real life. Dont be that guy. Its creepy and awkward.Hell you can meet new people in library, bus etc

[Anonymous No.250]

>>249
Damn, that was my plan for the weekend. Is it alright after a movie at the cinema?

[Anonymous No.251]

>>229
best advice i can give you is to go to meetup and search for your interests. join a shit ton of meetups and then find events near you that appeal to you. once you're there, no one knows anyone so everyone is usually pretty open. i found a meetup for pub trivia that meets weekly. i didn't know what to talk about but it didn't matter cuz we were all playing pub trivia and didn't need to have conversations.

try it out. good luck anon.

[Anonymous No.252]

>>250
I dont know. Usually people go to movies with friends and couples so it will be weird for you to rush into a group of friends and start talking. But it might work if you are lucky and charismatic.I say that cinema arena is for experienced players. Do it if you have the balls. You will gain experience thats for sure.
>>251
This. Go to meetups OP . There you can simply approach anyone and introduce yourself without any akwardeness

[Anonymous No.253]

>>251

Sauce on picture? That looks dope

[Anonymous No.254]

>>241
I lol'd

[Anonymous No.255]

>>252
>for you to rush into a group of friends and start talking
>group
I was thinking about 2 at the very most.

[Anonymous No.256]

>>230

Fuck no, retail is a soul sucking job especially if you have some social anxiety to begin with.

[Anonymous No.257]

>>234
Lie, tell them you have been to crazy party and are getting laid 24/7, people will think you're cool and fun and invite you to real parties where you can make friends and get laid
Fake it until you make it
>only virgins think this is wrong

[Anonymous No.258]

>>248
Just start by practicing talking to people. Find circumstances that dont make you too uncomfortable and start there, then move on to things that make you more and more uncomfortable. Like progressive overload you will become more comfortable in social situations regardless of how awkward/uncomfortable they seem. I wouldn't recommend starting by trying to pick up girls on the street but if you dont mind rejection it couldnt hurt to try and it does constitute practice talking to women.

[Anonymous No.259]

>>258
Dude, I've been a total loner for the past 10 years. I don't have a single friend, not even online. I don't see where I could start.

[Anonymous No.260]

#1: Women are as insecure and socially awkward as we are

#2: You have to be proactive. Women will never make the first move.

#3: Ask the girl out within the first few messages. Many girls use dating sites for personal validation and have no interest in going out.

#4: Don't develop oneitis. She is not the perfect girl, you will meet many more. Don't work on just one girl, it's all about numbers.

#5: Social confidence is all about practice. Go to bars and coffee shops and just talk to random chicks. If you say something dumb who cares. You'll never see her again.

#6: If she agrees to meet you in person, she already thinks you are hot. Dates are all about making sure you arnt a complete autist.

#7: Practice your bullshit routine aka elevator pitch. Be able to sell yourself. Never let the girl think you are not actively improving yourself. Girls look for potential and will excuse a lack of accomplishment if you are still a college student. What turns them off is stagnation and lack of ambition.

[Anonymous No.261]

>>260
Attractive or average women aren't socially awkward as they get throned by all kind of guys. They have tons of social experience.

[Anonymous No.262]

>>259
The less able you are to interact with people the smaller you have to start. Its like starting squatting the bar. Try talking to the fucking cashier at the grocery store, old ladies on the bus, literally anyone you think wont immediately walk away. Pay attention and try to improve. It's not impossible but you're like a hamplanet who doesnt want to go to the gym because he thinks hes too far gone; its 99.9999% possible for you to become a sick cunt if you just stop metaphorically eating shit and not exercising and just start moving however slowly in a positive direction and keep at it.

[Anonymous No.263]

>>232
but don't tell anyone about your dreams, no matter what happened its very boring

[Anonymous No.264]

bump

[Anonymous No.265]

>>260

>#4: Don't develop oneitis. She is not the perfect girl, you will meet many more. Don't work on just one girl, it's all about numbers.

I truly can't get over my former coworker. She was so sweet and absolutely beautiful. She never came up when discussing "hottest bitches in the office" so I assume she was just absolutely my type. There's not a clone or a replacement of her and it really makes me depressed that I'll never have her. Some types of oneitis can be really strong.

[Anonymous No.266]

I'm going to see two movies st the cinema this Friday. I have like 1 1/2 hours between them to do stuff. Can I use this for sick social gains somehow? I don't want to talk to groups. 2 at most. How do I do it?

[Anonymous No.267]

>>266
you gonna see those movies alone?

[Anonymous No.268]

>>266

Talk positively about Trump. People will appreciate the honesty.

[Anonymous No.269]

lift, bro.

when you press, you lift problem above head, problem gone.

[Anonymous No.270]

>>260
>Women are as insecure and socially awkward as we are
>You have to be proactive. Women will never make the first move.

so they're MORE insecure than us, not "just as"

[Anonymous No.271]

>>267
I don't have friends, yes.

[Anonymous No.272]

>>229
Fuck around with Uber. Socializing on EZ mode DESU. They're usually drunk normies, so listen to the bantz, try shit out. You'll never see them again, so there's no reason to be overly embarrassed when you say something stupid. If you do try Uber make something up for your craziest story, someone always asks.

>Don't have any interesting stories
Almost any inane sounds, when cobbled together correctly, work once you've got the timing and flow down. If you really want something you think is interesting steal greentexts or stories from here (4chan and the internet in general, not just /fit/) and adapt them to your life, make them sfw etc.

As others have said, avoid yes or no answers. Give opinions, expand on topics, talk local news, new bars or attractions, ask questions, let the conversation branch out. Talk about something you like and are knowledgeable about. Computers, cars, lifting, literature, internet memes, doesn't matter. What matters is it carries a conversation to more branching off points. If something gets boring or incomprehensible to whoever you're talking with they'll usually take a tangent off of whatever is currently being discussed.

>Most important is PRACTICE
Practice in your head if you have to, but practice. Imagine success, not failure. Training the pathways in your brain is essential. It's like noob gains, your body and brain get used to the action and do it more efficiently.

Hope this helps. We're all gonna make it brehs.

[Anonymous No.273]

>>229
Do things. What do you expect to talk about if you don't do anything but post on 4chan and work all day? You could watch sports after work like a normie if you insist.

[Anonymous No.274]

>>229
I always thought personality and 'being yourself' was a bit like 'flow' in sport. Chasing flow, as an athlete or a person, I think the answer is instinctive, but sometimes we get distracted and caught up by whatever and doubt comes in etc, we develop inhibitions, and that stops the flow of water, talent, personality.
Start recognising the things you do shy away from, dont put other people who can do certain things on a pedestal, things like little tactics to make the next step easier are alright, but dont lose sight that the main thing is to challenge yourself continuously. "Ooo, that made me feel a little out of my depth, Ill go in balls to the wall and fuck my shit up", learn from it, try again, its character building.

tldr; I guess my point is that its more so character building than skill set building. "Give a man a fish... teach him how to fish..." glhf

[Anonymous No.275]

>>274
give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime

[Anonymous No.276]

Live an interesting and enriching life and most of it will come naturally, unless you suffer from a legitimate personality disorder.

I'm a volunteer first aid officer at public events which forces me into a lot of weird situations and exposes me to complete strangers regularly. It gives me a lot of funny stories to retell to my mates and has definitely boosted my confidence.

[Anonymous No.277]

>>229

Listen up here, OP. There are a few rules/hints you want to keep in mind:

1. When you're at work, the easiest thing you can talk about, believe it or not, is work. Ask them during your and their breaks if they're alright, or if they feel tired if they seem to be. Ask them what's the matter. Don't don't do it out of the blue though, do it nonchalantly like
>ahh you're not looking so hot, tough workload?

2. Don't overstep your boundaries during conversation. There are endearing compliments and there is outright flirting. You want friends, do the former.

3. Actually listen, and maintain eye contact. Follow up with open ended questions so that they may share their opinions. Agree with whatever resonates with you, as people seek validation.

Hope this helps, and remember this: We're all gonna make it brah.

[Anonymous No.278]

>>276
I'm 28 with legit 0 friends. It won't come naturally. I can talk to people just fine without turning in a being of pure spaghetti but I don't know how to approach random people.

[Anonymous No.279]

>>265
That's still just oneitis

[Anonymous No.280]

>>260
>women will never make the first move
Hahaha what is this? You must be ugly senpai

[Anonymous No.281]

>>279
Not that guy but I'm a social loser and switched workplaces and found a girl focusing on despite never even held small talk with her. Just hi and bye but I'm not meeting new girls, so I don't know how to overcome it.

[Anonymous No.282]

>>229
>sperg who hates socialising
>graduated and got engineering job
>desk I'm given happens to be in the sales area so surrounded by guys who chat shit all day long, start to join in
>can feel the autism leaving my body over time

I still hate going out with people but at least I can hold a conversation without dropping spaghetti constantly now

[Anonymous No.283]

just gotta work on being yourself buddy

[Anonymous No.284]

I used to be quite outgoing, friendly and funny, but dwelling/becoming fixated on my shortcomings made me go cocoon mode . Thing is I've barely achieved anything since doing so and I've lost so much of my social ability. I get so caught up on the fact that I'm shit at everything and this means I can't have a laugh anymore like I once used to be able to.

I'm not half the person I used to be. Not to mention I'm about to graduate with fuck all job prospects available. I don't even believe I can do a job anyways. Is there any hope or should I just kms?

[Anonymous No.285]

>>229
Just be yourself bro.

[Anonymous No.286]

>>285
Thanks, man. You opened my eyes. I've never been myself before.

[Anonymous No.287]

>>260
how do you approach girls at bars and coffee shops?
what if they are on their computer or phone, should i interrupt them . or if they are there with a friend?

i really don't know how to sell myself. I'm boring, have nothing really going for me and no ambitions that i think i will be able to achieve

[Anonymous No.288]

>>258
>Just start by practicing talking to people.
who can i talk to if i have no friends in the first place?

>bars
everyone there is with their friends already, should i, the socially awkward guy with no friends, just interrupt them?

[Anonymous No.289]

>>229
Read Models by Mark Manson. I'm absolutely not a fan of self help books but this really is different (and helpful)

[Anonymous No.290]

>>229
>be me
>night auditor at hotel
>only employee in the entire building from the hours of 11pm-5am
>german girl staying in hotel. 3rd floor
>qt3.14. blonde hair blue eyed master race
>get a call at the front desk
>it's her
>she asks me if I have any bandaids at the desk
>I tell her I do and offer to bring one up
>she agrees
>I get to her room
>she is wearing the white robes we provide
>asks me to put the band-aid on her foot in her cute accent. the cut was near the edge of her back heel and she told me it would be easier if someone else did it
>grab her foot and put band aid on
>quickly tell her I need to get back to watch the front desk and leave


I feel like such a loser. I could've at least tried to make a move

[Anonymous No.291]

This video honestly made me view my shyness in a different way and really changed my everyday life, highly recommend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4I-nwdBjuw

[Anonymous No.292]

>>287
Look for "Day Bang" by Roosh, I haven't tried it yet but it helps precisely with that situation.

[Anonymous No.293]

>>283
>>285
i am myself

[Anonymous No.294]

Join acting classes, OP. That's the best way to appear more confident and talkative.

[Anonymous No.295]

>>260
>Don't work on just one girl, it's all about numbers.
Something that put this in perspective for me was day traders. A good day trader isn't a success 100% of the time, since that is impossible. A good day trader is a successful 55%-70% of the time. Like that one basketball nigger said, you miss every shot you don't take. If you're making 10% of the shots then you're doing it 10% right which is something to work from.

[Anonymous No.296]

How do I approach grills in a bar correctly? Is talking to a pair in front of the cinema before / after a movie wrong? I'm alone, no friends, no wingman.

[Anonymous No.297]

>>253

The Sun Sets Sail by Rob Gonsalves

[Anonymous No.298]

>>277
who do i talk to practice?

don't think my coworkers want me to talk to them while they're working

[Anonymous No.299]

>>234
>>239
>>264
>>229
How about you delete all these pictures of slutty women off of your phone, get off 4chan and venture off into the world like a normal human being? Eventually you'll become one.

You may not like this answer but it's what you need to do.

[Anonymous No.300]

>>299
Heh. Listen kid, all you need to worry about is avoiding my sharpened blade.

[Anonymous No.301]

Honesty ly if ur on 4chan, it's better to not talk.

Opening ur mouth so "tfw no gf" can come out is a net negative.

[Anonymous No.302]

>>269
Stop trolling give advice here bro if you wa in his positoon you dont want to heat stupid shit like this.

[Anonymous No.303]

Where do I find girls that want to hang out other than a disco? I have no social circle.

[Anonymous No.304]

>>229
Nice b8 9k

GO BACK TO 9k

Report this fag for off topic

[Anonymous No.305]

>>231
Pls don't tell an autismo to tell jokes. They're usually bad

[Anonymous No.306]

>>238
I was thinking of doing this the other day. Is bowling a good way to make friends? I'm kinda shit at bowling.

[Anonymous No.307]

>>234
Things happen to you, you're probably just not interested enough to remember. 90% of the conversations I hear are complete garbage, just empty vibrations. Everyone but the dumbest of normies realize that small talk is just a check to make sure the person you're talking to isn't a defective.

[Anonymous No.308]

>>275
give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life

[Anonymous No.309]

>>281
get on tinder dude

[Anonymous No.310]

>>229
OP you have to go out and have experience.

You need to enerate things that will make interesting conversation pieces.

I've noticed myself becoming more boring over the last few years because all I do now is work on the company I started.

[Anonymous No.311]

>>310
what are things i can do to generate experiences?

it seems much more difficult without friends
all my coworkers talk about things they do with friends
>travel
>new restaurants, shows and events
>parties with friends
the only thing they do alone really is some take classes to learn a new skill

[Anonymous No.312]

>>311
>the only thing they do alone really is some take classes to learn a new skill

Answered your own question, take a class or join a club or sports league for something you know little about but find interesting. You gain social experiences to talk about, actual skill in said activity, and you'll be spending time with other people who you know you have common ground with (you're all interested in X, so that's something to talk about). It's not hard to make at least loose friendships that way. just make sure to follow up, as in ask people for their number or add them on Facebook before the last class is over so you can meet up again, if it goes bad you'll never see those people again so it's ok

[Anonymous No.313]

>>291
just wasted 6 minutes of my life watching this useless video. Thanks anon!

[Anonymous No.314]

>>291
how? all it says is shy people think of themselves as different?

that doesn't help me really

other people are different, they are more interesting

[Anonymous No.315]

>>311
go to some anime covention. You can go there alone and even if asked why are you alone you can tell that your friends are not into this sort of things. You can talk about your favorite anime characters with strangers and practice your social skills.

[Anonymous No.316]

>>315
i don't watch anime anymore

and conventions happen like once a year, anything i can do on a regular basis

[Anonymous No.317]

>>231
>>40866255

Copy pasta time

How to get girls as a non autist

First make sure she's a least a tiny bit interested in you physically

https://markmanson.net/the-levels-of-eye-contact

Talk to her and make really bad jokes and if she laughs and gets all giddy then shes into you.

Normally i would ask for her number but you might run into this girl again so ask for her fb/snapchat/ig and go from there and escalate that you are open to being more than friends

Fall back if you start getting red flags that she's not into you like that. You don't want to ask her outright and get awkward looks every time you see her at the gym

A lot of girls flirt but have boyfriends or are looking for validation asking for social media and subtlety trying to escalate is better because if you get the impression that she's not into you can just pivot and pretend you were just being friendly and now you have a hot female friend in your social circle who can introduce you to other girls

And besides she's probably still end up fucking you when she breaks up with her boyfriend/starts getting lonely

Warning a lot of women will never tell you about their bf if you do this and you might be a guy she monkey branches with/cheats on with

Again this is good for trying to get with girls you'll probably run into again in the future if you get rejected outright it will make things super weird everytime you see her if she's a rando just get the digits

>t. male slut

[Anonymous No.318]

>>316
who is this?

[Anonymous No.319]

>>229
literally just be yourself

worked for me tbqh

[Anonymous No.320]

>>317
where do i find these girls to talk to?

and more importantly, what do i even say, i don't know how to make jokes

I've of my biggest problems is not knowing what to say

[Anonymous No.321]

Is it woth befriending women, so that they try to get you to know their single friends? Do they do that?

[Anonymous No.322]

>>290
>make a move
is a bit vague. play it cool, build rapport, and sure, you could have talked to her and made sure she felt better/was alright. don't just leap on top of her like a sperg going "I'd like one sekk pls" cuz then you'll get fired.

[Anonymous No.323]

>>315
>>316
cons are only good to meet hunnies if you're a) fit/attractive, or b) networked (i.e., you have friends that are girls that know the community)

that said con girls are fucking wild party animals so if you have both a) and b) then you're fucking minted

[Anonymous No.324]

I'm like most of you lonely autists but I force myself to go to a couple local bars and a pool hall on the weekends
After a few times of small talking with the bartenders they all "know" me and look out for me, which is important because the only people you will run into every time you go to a bar is the staff.
I sit there, or play pool, and drink my drinks until I'm friendly, and 100% of the time a qt will walk up to order, or a group of a couple decent dudes, or a friendly older couple that's reliving their college days, and I shoot the shit with them about whatever they want to talk about, because like OP not much happens in my daily life, but other people love to talk about themselves and I usually know at least a little about whatever they're talking about.
If the conversation fizzles out, or the qt has to go meet up with her friends, or whatever happens to end the exchange I just rinse and repeat until someone decent says "hey you should come sit with us" or "we're heading over to blah blah blah you should come!"
I understand this probably won't work for some of you uglier fatter guys, but if you're at least like a 6 and can pretend to be outgoing I recommend this.
I've had about 15 one night stands doing this, and could have had a lot more if I had the desire, just by being casual and putting myself out there

[Anonymous No.325]

>>229
>how do i become confident and talkative, and not a boring loser like i am?

Go out and actually do stuff. Even if it's something that you think you might not like, go anyways because at least you'll be able to make a story out of it.

Secondly, participate in functions that your company has and take part in whatever extra curricular groups they have. This will get you to interact with your coworkers more and make more friends.


If all you do is lift weights, play vidya and watch anime during your time off, then of course you'll be boring and non-talkative because you'll have nothing to talk about!

[Anonymous No.326]

>>325
I wanna go out and do stuff. So I go to the cinema tomorrow. I have a downtime from 1 1/2 hours between the movies. It's a big city, so there are tons of bars within the area.
Should I just go to one? But I most likely will just enter and be competely alone all the time.

[Anonymous No.327]

>>238
thsoe are full of fat people. Fat people get fat because they're boring.

[Anonymous No.328]

>>326

Don't just go to a bar alone to drink. Go with the intention of trying to interact with somebody like playing pool or something. I would avoid going to bars if you're trying to become more talkative and go to a festival or local event instead.

There's also a meetup app that's useful in bringing open minded people together that worked for me when I was living on my own. I joined a volleyball meetup group and had sex with two people from there and the people were all nice.

[Anonymous No.329]

>>229

Being confident is an active state. You have to tell yourself youre confident. Lie to yourself. Lie until you become the lie.

Being talkative is helpful, but if you have a silent personality, own it. Sure, it does make you blend into the background more, but the trick is to be ok with being a person who doesn't talk much. Just like being too talkative gets annoying, being too silent gets you ignored. So when youre in a new place, meeting a new person, ect, just talk about anything. Literally anything. The weather. your shoes. A story with no point or punchline. It doesn't matter. If the person wants to converse with you, they'll banter with you.

Socializing is a skill. It's just like any exercise. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Go and do it. Even if you suck at it. most people aren't judgemental, and if they are, you won't know it, and if you do know it, fuck them. There are literally BILLIONS of other people. you don't need to talk to a judgmental person.

Just go out and do ANYTHING, and talk to people. Go to board game/tabletop gaming nights at your local gameshop. I feel like this is the best place to start (if youre into those things) because it's where other socially awkward people go, so you'll be on equal footing.

[Anonymous No.330]

>>328
I've tried this, went to a bar and everyone was in groups

managed to say hi to one girl and couldn't think of what to say. just asked where she was from. then 30 seconds later she said, "nice to meet you" and walked away... what do

[Anonymous No.331]

>>229
Kys and go back to >>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.332]

>>330
please respond

[Anonymous No.333]

>>229
you don't have anything to say because you're probably boring as fuck in life
go do stuff and have experiences
then you'll be able to talk about shit

[Anonymous No.334]

>>229
Practice practice practice. Start maybe at bars. Don't get fucked up just a pint or two for social lubricant. Then start talking with random people at the bar. Even if you bomb it doesn't matter they don't know you. They never will never remember you either. Small talk is a great way for a beginner to open up conversation. Weather, current events, etc. If they reply in kind to your casual statements have a little Convo and see what happens. If they brush you off just move along. You can apply this philosophy in any public place tho. Just remember they don't remember you from one meaningless interaction. You'll get it op. I believe in you.

[Anonymous No.335]

>>334
thanks for the advice

another problem with not having friends is i can't get a designated driver, I'll always have to pay for a cab when i drink, feels bad man

[Anonymous No.336]

Social skills are a SKILL and like all skills it can only improve via practice.

If you want to get better at social interaction then you need to immerse yourself in social occasions. Go to a local meet-up, volunteer at charity events like soup kitchens, volunteer for festivals, marathons, etc.

Basically just find a way to surround yourself with people.

[Anonymous No.337]

>>320
www.meetup.com

[Anonymous No.338]

>>316
take in a class or something find a hobby or a language you are interested in learning and take a class. I met a lot of my friends when I tried ( and horribly failed) to learn japanese 3 years ago when i was into anime.

[Anonymous No.339]

>>231
this is shit advice. is he gonna scan the room "nice plants in that corner" or tell a joke "hey guys I know you're talking about the weekend and I'm interrupting you but have you heard the story about this midget?".

instead he should go sit next to his co-workers or friends. listen to what they say, think about the context, then without making it complicated, simply think "do I have input, knowledge, opinions, experiences about what they're talking about?" or "that's interesting, let me ask a follow up question, and from that another one". just think about the context and throw in something. it doesn't have to be much.

about the kv no friends or gf. that's a whole other story about your self esteem, confidence and so on. go talk to a therapist. my dad bullied me most of my life. once I stood of for myself to him and said how I felt, I felt like a stone fell off my shoulder and I felt prouder. I also talked to a psychologist at the time. you need to do some work on your self. read a book on self esteem, not on confidence, self esteem.

[Anonymous No.340]

>>317
>If you get eye fucked by an attractive person and don’t act on it, you’re probably blind or mid-seizure

[Anonymous No.341]

>>340
>implying attractive people eyefuck me

[Anonymous No.342]

>>229
stop fucking posting this same shit every other day
read fucking books on the subject and fuck off

[Anonymous No.343]

>>337
i look, but all the meetups with lots of people are an hour away from where i live (i live in the suburbs)

similar with classes

[Anonymous No.344]

>>229
OP, I notice that for each excellent piece of advice that is offered to you, you have a cheap excuse not to do it. Put yourself into the mentality that you WANT to follow the advice, and think hard if there is any possible way you could follow it. After that, go out and do it.

[Anonymous No.345]

>>270
Only if you make moves. Otherwise you're just as insecure.

[Anonymous No.346]

B E U R S E L F

[Anonymous No.347]

>tfw no gf

[Anonymous No.348]

>>347
name?

[Anonymous No.349]

>>229
Small steps. Practice.

Think of it like physical training.

If you want to be good at a physical movement you have to do it with sufficient frequency. It helps to have a coach.
So talk with someone you know, family or friend. Be open and honest, even ask for help.

Talk more often, about more things. Ask questions. A great way to "participate" in a conversation is to ask someone something that gets them talking, so don't ask yes/no questions.

Talk with your colleagues. Can be entirely work related. Pretend you need help with a work task, get their advice.

Take small steps. Each week try to talk to an extra person, or on an additional occasion.

The more you do, and the more frequently you do it, the easier it will become. It may never get easy, but it should become not so difficult.

[Anonymous No.350]

>>349
>Talk more often, about more things. Ask questions. A great way to "participate" in a conversation is to ask someone something that gets them talking, so don't ask yes/no questions.
thanks, i never know what questions to ask though
and it feels like the more i know about a person (like where they grew up, their family), the less questions i can think of

>Talk with your colleagues. Can be entirely work related. Pretend you need help with a work task, get their advice.
i'm one of the more knowledgeable persons at my job though. i'm more than likely going to be passed for promotion this year, and people who know less will be promoted, just because they are better at communicating and being confident.. feels terrible tbqh

[Anonymous No.351]

>>334
>>334
it's intimidating going to a bar by yourself and approaching a group of people who are already there with their friends

they don't want an aspie loser, who can't hold a conversation, approaching them

[Anonymous No.352]

bump

[Anonymous No.353]

>>247
practice how? lifting weights up and down is easy. so is reading an instruction manual

but finding people willing to practice with me, and knowing what to say is difficult

[Anonymous No.354]

>>299
It hurts me to say this, but if you really want to get some kind of social life, this guy is right

[Anonymous No.355]

>>284
got no advice for you but dont kys lad

[Anonymous No.356]

>>290
should've said something like:
"is there anything else i can do for you?" to see if she bites.

Also what this anon said, build rapport with small talk etc. >>322
Just say shit like "what happened?", "hope you'll feel better in the morning" etc.

At the same time though if she doesn't seem interested just don't bother. It's not exactly professional to be hitting on "clients"

[Anonymous No.357]

>>354
>just go outside
is worse than
>just go up to her and say hi

[Anonymous No.358]

>>353
sauce?

[Anonymous No.359]

>>357
Literally both are true.

[Anonymous No.360]

Read: Models. How to win friends influences people

find interest you love and pursue them then tell people

lift then go to a department store and let a gay guy who works there picket your clothes, go to a nail salon and get eyebrows waxes, go get a new haircut

[Anonymous No.361]

>>359
go outside where?

what do you say after "hi"? (especially when you're bad at socializing in the first place)

[Anonymous No.362]

>going to an anime con
Someone tell me a dummies guide on how to talk to people at this place, I wanna work on my social skills

[Anonymous No.363]

>>229
start driving for uber

[Anonymous No.364]

>>362
you don't need a guide to learn how to talk to people, just start a conversation with someone new everyday.

[Anonymous No.365]

>>361
introduce yourself (names)

talk about surroundings

flirt

[Anonymous No.366]

>>299
He's not wrong. Block it if you have to, OP. 4chan is nothing but cancer, yet here I am

[Anonymous No.367]

>>361
Somewhere fun where social interactions occur. A bar with live music, a sporting event, a library, boardgame store, guitar shop, etc. literally anywhere that interests you at all that other people go to.

I usually like to make observations instead of starting with "hi". Lots of people wear band shirts or whatever "hey cool shirt, I really thought their second album was best" "this is my first time here, do you know if bands like this are standard here? What do you think of them?" "What book is that? I've been looking for a recommendation?"

"Hi" is the worst opener for starting conversations.

Easy mode: get into sports and pick a local team to follow. Go to a sports bar and watch the game, preferably wearing some memorabilia. When things happen talk loudly about them even to yourself. "What the hell kind of call was that?" After a little bit start talking to whoever is next to you, but don't really engage with them, you don't even have to make eye contact. "Wow, what a play! Can you believe it?" "Man aren't you glad we picked up that player?" "Did you see that?" Eventually that transitions into a decent dialogue.

[Anonymous No.368]

>>308
I thought this was a white dog running very fast through a field until I expanded image

[Anonymous No.369]

>>277
>Don't don't do it out of the blue though,

>do it nonchalantly like

what the fuck is the difference in those two u fuck retarded

[Anonymous No.370]

>>321
>so that they try to get you to know their single friends?

if you're a genuinely good guy they will

all my female friends do this and keeps asking me if i have a gf cause they have a "cute" friend that's single

almost all of them turns out to not be my type. it's nice to meet new people through them though

[Anonymous No.371]

>>253
>>358
cecilie nordahl

https://twitter.com/CeciNordahl/with_replies

[Anonymous No.372]

>>370
So, I shouldn't ignore taken girls. What classifies as good guy, though? Do I have to be alpha like /fit/ says or is it alright to be friendly but not a pushover?

[Anonymous No.373]

>>372
as long as you're not crazy or very ugly they will try to hook you up. it doesn't matter what your personality is just bee yourself :))

even the weak nerdy retards in our group get pity hook ups from some girls that one of girl's know

[Anonymous No.374]

>>373
I'm 28. Do women still do that at my age?

[Anonymous No.375]

>>374
no man everything changes once you're 28 girls dont sex no more and you literally cant progress in life anymore because ur 28

holy fuck just try doing something retard

[Anonymous No.376]

>>368
samr

[Anonymous No.377]

>>375
Wew

[Anonymous No.378]

>>260

>women are just like us meme

the women that are just like us are not the women you want.

[Anonymous No.379]

>>229
Drink heavily.

[Anonymous No.380]

>>229

Nofap.

[Anonymous No.381]

I hope I get some social gains this evening.

[Anonymous No.382]

>>244
a sincere post on /fit/ wtf

[Anonymous No.383]

>>229
Stop worry about yourself and start learning about other people

[Anonymous No.384]

>>380
tried it for a month, i was the same person

>>383
i don't know what to say to learn about them

[Anonymous No.385]

>>229
Stop being a narcissist

[Anonymous No.386]

>>385
how does considering myself to be a loser mean i'm a narcissist?

[Anonymous No.387]

>>244
Thank you.

I would also add that conversations are not interrogations. Don't just ask.

After a few questions, try throwing your own stories or opinions on topic related.

If the other person reciprocates with questions then, it's all cool. If the other person just answers with "yeah", changes topic or tries to talk over you, just finish the conversation and move on. That's a selfish person and has no conversation gainz to offer.

[Anonymous No.388]

I wish I had a /fit/bro to help me become social.

[Anonymous No.389]

>>387
>After a few questions, try throwing your own stories or opinions on topic related.
the problem is i don't have stories or opinions to tell

>If the other person reciprocates with questions then, it's all cool. If the other person just answers with "yeah",
this is me, i don't know what to say, so i just say yeah to show i listened, instead of being silent

[Anonymous No.390]

>>388
me too senpai

[Anonymous No.391]

>>388
>>390
What's natural for most people is just next to impossible for me. Fuck everything.

[Anonymous No.392]

>>229
Game.

Making a shift - Julien Blanc

[Anonymous No.393]

>>392
the game, the book? i read it, the author is a writer for a major magazine and has stories of interviewing famous people

julien is a pretty tall, good looking guy too, so his advice is the same as "just go up to her and say hi"

[Anonymous No.394]

>>324
I'm curious. How do you iniciate the conversation?

[Anonymous No.395]

>>230
I can vouch for this, though I started as a waiter. Before that I was shy as shit and thought talking to strangers meant bothering people.

I'm still useless in 1v1 with women I find attractive however. I don't know how to fucking flirt at all.

[Anonymous No.396]

>>395
i can't quit my current job, or pick up a part time one though

[Anonymous No.397]

>>229
not being afraid to show other people who you truly are

thats how, just accept that some people are not going to like you

[Anonymous No.398]

>>287
>should I interrupt them
Noooooo. Especially if they're actually talking on the phone.

If it looks like they're actually involved in something, don't bother them. But if they're just sitting there sipping their coffee or whatever, then fair game.

Also, never, ever, ever, ever, ever take the headphones out of a woman's ears to talk to them, or anything of that sort. The only reason you should ever do something like that is if they dropped something, and even then it should just be a very light tap on the arm to get their attention. If someone has their headphones in, it means they don't want to be bothered.

[Anonymous No.399]

>>398
i have never seen someone in a coffee shop just sipping coffee by themselves

[Anonymous No.400]

>>399
this

everyone else is always doing something
>on their phones
>on their computer
>talking to her friend (s)
>listening to music
>in general, avoiding contact with me
who can i even approach?

[Anonymous No.401]

>>399
I have, but I also live right across the street from a coffee shop that's always packed. Most of them are just on their shitty macbooks, though.

>>400
If they're talking with their friends, and it seems like a light-hearted sort of conversation and there's a seat open, you can probably approach then. Just make sure you engage all parties, not just the girl you're there to talk to.

If they're on their computers, you can also tell by their body language if they're actually busy or not. Judge by how relaxed they are. If they look like they're just browsing and reading articles, then you should be fine. If they're hunched over and you see a word processor on their screen, they're probably working, in which case don't bother them.

[Anonymous No.402]

>>392
>Making a shift - Julien Blanc
i will watch this

/fit/, today will be another Friday night.. should i go to a bar? i think i should, but coming up with things to say seems so difficult tbqh, especially when approaching someone with their friends (do i try to address everybody)

what I'm even more worried about is that I'm not good at projecting my voice in loud places, and it is worse when I'm nervous and my throat gets dry. what do?

[Anonymous No.403]

[Anonymous No.404]

I'm 30, attractive as fuck, fit, steady job. Still can't be "confident and outgoing". Unless I drink. So maybe when it matters drink a little bit.

[Anonymous No.405]

>>259
Try going to church.
Im not religious but I started going to church to get over my social anxiety.
Everyone there is extremely nice and thats where I met my sexy conservative fiancee. She knows Im not really religious but it is rare to find somewhere i can go that is not filled with vapid leftists.

[Anonymous No.406]

>>276
what do i do if everything i do is weird or not presentable at all?

i work in forensics. i literally open up dead bodies for a living, women go "ewww" before i even get into details.
and my hobbies aren't particularly interesting either..
>work in my family's small garden, make liquor from the harvested fruit one a year
>play chess and various video games with my friends
>sometimes meet up with friends to smoke hookah and weed

like, i can talk to people, but i don't have anything to say. all my friends are autists, all my hobbies are autistic, pretty much all i am interested in is autistic nerd shit (science, history, technology, ...)

what do i do?

[Anonymous No.407]

>>404
That is definitely one solution. Odds are you shouldn't need to drink too much to get social, though.

>>405
This can also depend on what denomination of church it is. IN trying to avoid "vapid leftists", make sure you're not going too far the other direction and running into ultra-conservative nutjobs.

Most churches this shouldn't be a problem, but location is a factor.

[Anonymous No.408]

>>405
I've been thinking about this shit. Is it actually possible to get real friends from church or people mainly go there for really religious stuff and tend to not get involved in friendly relationships?

[Anonymous No.409]

>>408
Depends on the church. I know that's a wishy-washy answer, but it's true. If they have a dedicated social time after church, then you're probably fine. Some of them are just get in, have service, and either get out or do bible study or whatever.

[Anonymous No.410]

[Anonymous No.411]

>>260
>Women are as insecure and socially awkward as we are
On the average, yea
>You have to be proactive. Women will never make the first move
Some will. They will probably be boring as hell though. It rarely goes beyond 'Hi Im Stacy' or 'Hi, have I seen you somewhere?'. They do expect you to respond nicely and lead the way.
>Ask the girl out within the first few messages. Many girls use dating sites for personal validation and have no interest in going out.
True
>Don't develop oneitis. She is not the perfect girl, you will meet many more. Don't work on just one girl, it's all about numbers.
This
>Social confidence is all about practice
True
>Go to bars and coffee shops and just talk to random chicks
I'd suggest some tool like Tinder, allows you to filter out like 50% of boring girls.
>If she agrees to meet you in person, she already thinks you are hot
Or she's just bored. Or her best friend just got a bf, and she's compensating. Or 100 other reasons
>Practice your bullshit routine aka elevator pitch. Be able to sell yourself
But don't overdo it. Be relaxed but responsive, like in boxing, don't stick to the same routine every time.

[Anonymous No.412]

>>411
I really wish Tinder didn't have Facebook as a requirement. I fucking loathe Facebook and refuse to get one. Which is a shame, because I would like to give Tinder a try and see how it goes.

[Anonymous No.413]

>>398
>Also, never, ever, ever, ever, ever take the headphones out of a woman's ears to talk to them

you say this like people actually do this, fuck I hope you autists have never done this

[Anonymous No.414]

>>412
If you don't have a Facebook and you're under 60 it's a DEAD GIVEAWAY that you're autistic and/or a severe weirdo. You don't have to ever use it just slap a picture of your face on there and accept peoples' friend requests.

[Anonymous No.415]

>>411
>Or she's just bored. Or her best friend just got a bf, and she's compensating. Or 100 other reasons

No, she wouldn't see you if she wasn't physically attracted to you at least a little bit

[Anonymous No.416]

>>412
Just create a dummy account, something like 'John X', you don't need to share any information there. I don't like Facebook either.

[Anonymous No.417]

>>413
I never have and never would. But I've heard from some of my female friends that they've had guys do this to them. I've also seen shitty advice columns that actually said it's okay to do this. Which should instantly disqualify you from giving anyone advice about social situations ever again.

>>414
Eh, I have friends around my age who don't have it, either, and they're well-adjusted folks. I just never had a desire to make one. Also, having had to use company Facebook accounts for work purposes, holy shit it's crappy site.

[Anonymous No.418]

>>384
she's cute, sauce?

[Anonymous No.419]

>>347

>those shoes

fucking disgusting, im gonna puke

[Anonymous No.420]

>>229
What men want
>>239
What women think men want

[Anonymous No.421]

>>280
Or he doesn't recognize what counts as a "move" when a woman does it. Women's "moves" are always plausibly deniable by design.

[Anonymous No.422]

>>402
please respond

>just sitting at home on another friday night
>haven't been "out" in a long time

[Anonymous No.423]

>>414
Who actually cares if someone else has a facebook or not?

[Anonymous No.424]

>>423
No one outright cares but if they go to look you up and you're not there they'll ask someone about it, or ask you about and hear "oh he doesn't have one" or "oh he haaates Facebook". May not matter to them or may confirm their belief that you're a serial rapist. Why take the chance? It's free normie points.

[Anonymous No.425]

>>395
This, I'm a massive lady killer when talking to girls i'm not interested in. Even if I'm not nervous around a girl i like i still fuck it up somehow.

[Anonymous No.426]

>>425
For me, if I feel like I'm above their league (which is like 70% of girls lol) I'll have no trouble talking to them cuz I feel like I can get them just like that

If I feel like a girls out of my league, I won't be shy or find it hard talking to her either cuz in my mind theres no chance of even fucking her in the first place so how can I be scared of fucking up a chance that I don't have in the first place? Ironically this confidence helps me end up pulling them sometimes

8-8.5s/10 are the hardest for me to talk to cuz they're really hot but I feel like just within my league....that's how my mind works anyway lol

[Anonymous No.427]

[Anonymous No.428]

stop posting DYEL ovaryjews
sage

[Anonymous No.429]

>>352
name?

[Anonymous No.430]

>>364
where do i find these new people to talk to everyday?

>>367
i don't plan on going to those things every day, but thanks for the suggestions

and i don't watch sports, wouldn't beginning to watch them, just to fit in, mean I'm not "being myself"?

[Anonymous No.431]

>>430
how bout u try going out instead of spending days on 4chan overthinking shit with other autisms

[Anonymous No.432]

>>367
>"What the hell kind of call was that?"
>What a play!
>Did you see that
>Oh golly gee and you glad we picked him!

>talking to yourself loudly, obnoxiously and faking being "into" the game like a manchild/couch coach

cringe.

[Anonymous No.433]

>>260
>Practice your bullshit routine aka elevator pitch. Be able to sell yourself
got any book recs on this pitch/sales/routine stuff?

[Anonymous No.434]

>>406
jesus, i can automatically come up with all kinds of bullshit around everything you've described,
these are genuinely valid things to talk about, anon, you've nothing to be insecure about that isn't already a somewhat universal anxiety (social status)

the point is to build a sense of rapport with the other person, like you get and empathize with their point of view
>forensics
body stuff, so, you can automatically lead it around to ;) (obvs not from the get go) since you have a steady stream of new bodies, its a steady stream of new stories, all of which lead to insights and interesting connections that you can talk about
>work in small garden, make liquor
>make liquor
fucking dude, maybe you are autismo, this is cool as fuck and even i want to hear more about this
the obvious thing here is to make funny connections between your gardening and your boozin, at least as far as dumb fun shit that's easy to talk about
>play chess and video games
>play games
>thinking what the other person will think before they think it
>video games
>implying this experience only entails you literally sitting down and looking at the screen and thinking literally about nothing but the pixels
>meet up with friends and have a good time

you have enough, bare minimum social rapport starts from common interests, these aren't fucking obscure weird interests

[Anonymous No.435]

>>264
Omg... I wish I could run across with this girl. I have the power to impress her but I just can't find this kind of beauty here in my country. Truly amazing that I would settle down with this girl and live happily after that...

[Anonymous No.436]

>>435
what country u in brah

[Anonymous No.437]

>>229
Stop worrying what is good or bad. Say what is true. Truth is undeniable and magnetic.

[Anonymous No.438]

>>436
Turkeyland brotha

[Anonymous No.11531]

>>40918907
so if someone asks me, how i spent my weekends, i should say i browsed a Japanese anime image board?

and if someone asks me what i like to do with my friends, i should say, i have no friends?

[Anonymous No.12374]

/fitlit/, please respond

[Anonymous No.12809]

>>11531
was a response to >>437

[Anonymous No.13123]

[Anonymous No.13366]

>>284
Dude are you me? I was a star in high school, but then my gf dumped me and treated me like shit while I tried to win her back for 2 years. Fell into depression, tried to kill myself and slowly crawled back into life. I'm a living failure at the moment.

[Anonymous No.14168]

brehs... bump

[Anonymous No.14342]

[Anonymous No.14816]

what books should i read to get friends and a gf?

[Anonymous No.14936]

Do you guys think that this scope of social problems you see on the net is normal and other people just hide it aswell? It always amazes me how much of a shadow society exists that normal people would never even think of. The lives of average people seem like something made in hollywood to me.

[Anonymous No.15253]

>>14936
>Do you guys think that this scope of social problems you see on the net is normal and other people just hide it aswell?
no, because all of my coworkers are normal people, with friends and active social lives

they do get sad when they can't hang out with friends, but it's nothing like what i experience on a day to day basis

[Anonymous No.15552]

>>251
>for your interests
I like 4chan, where do I find people with this kind of interest?

[Anonymous No.15634]

>>423
CIA

[Anonymous No.15643]

>>251
>>15552
this, i have no interests

and none of the meetups look interesting
>random tech meetups
>entrepreneur meetups
>40+ people meetups
these make up 80% of everything in my city

[Anonymous No.15672]

>>14342
are they gonna take a shit on that desk or what

[Anonymous No.15730]

>>13366
>oneitis meme
If only somebody told me about it sooner

[Anonymous No.15788]

The unfortunate truth is that if you lived your life so long and literally nothing has come out of it and you don't even know how other people do it then it's too late. I speak from experience. I saw people start socializing easily in school and at that point in time I knew it was over and I would never be able to catch up with them. You will never fit into social circles that go to bars, events or anything else normal people usually do. If you force yourself to be someone else you will feel even shittier. Also at 30 no one wants to have people on the same mental and social level as a teenage boy around. Life is just shit for people like us. I'm diagnosed autismo btw maybe you should look into that. I went to a therapy group and to aspie meet ups and it's a lot easier for me there. There are even women there.

[Anonymous No.16039]

I hate the meathead wisdom of /fit/

it's like talking to my Id

at bottom I realize their bestial natures are akin to my own: no matter what I achieve I just want to fuck hot bitches but I'm a 24-year-old kv...

[Anonymous No.16388]

>>379
That sweet spot where your alcoholism's destructive influence becomes really apparent to yourself and you stop caring about fucking up because you realize your body is already past that point, that's the good shit. Of course, it's all downhill from there, shit sucks.

[Anonymous No.16409]

>>16039
>24-year-old
You are like a little baby.

[Anonymous No.16461]

>>15672
what

[Anonymous No.16660]

>tfw no helpful posts in over 30 posts
really makes me think

[Anonymous No.17637]

>>231
what a cosmig fag

[Anonymous No.17959]

>>14342
We just gonna ignore that thing in the background then?

[Anonymous No.18173]

>>386
fear of rejection

[Anonymous No.18696]

>>229
why did u bother to reverse this image?

[Anonymous No.18798]

>>229
assuming you're lit, why not read books on the topics of personal development?

Think and Grow Rich is one of the classics. Try to apply it to your life. Doesn't matter if you feel too smart for it or like it's too cheesy. Acknowledge that you want what others have (ability to socialize better) and currently, you are lacking in that area of intelligence.

Good luck!

>>284
dude u r so fucking young, are you kidding me?

i'm 31 and wondering if i should kms bc i've fucked up so much. married the wrong person and dreading having to reinvent myself a-fucking-gain at this stage.

ultimately you gotta think big picture. your age and social pressures now will mean nothing to you in 20-30 yrs

[Anonymous No.18843]

Stop being short

[Anonymous No.18886]

>>430
>>431
Not that anon, but going out still doesn't mean you automatically can talk to people. Many are simply busy or avoiding you, unless you're super super attractive and assertive/imposing I guess. Where exactly can one start conversations while walking or in stores/locals/pubs/libraries etc., and how? Many times I fear that I bother people, males make it less evident if so, with women I feel like I'm creepy or weird no matter what I do, even if it's something natural like "Oh I know that book! Really wanted to finish it but had to postpone it to study this subject"

[Anonymous No.18911]

>>18696
it's straight from her instragram

>>18798
i have read some, i'm still the same person

>>18843
i can't
;_;

[Anonymous No.19101]

make friends with outgoing guys
actually go out with them
profit

[Anonymous No.19136]

>>256
I was an asocial autist before I got a retail job, now I'm alright.

[Anonymous No.19142]

>>256
I mean it is soul sucking but it will help with being able to talk to people easier.

I worked at mcdonalds for two years (Ik not neccesarily retail) and even though I fucking hated it I came out not as socially anxious.

[Anonymous No.19192]

>>19101
>make friends with outgoing guys
where do i find these guys to make friends with? why would they include me, a social retard, in their friend group?

[Anonymous No.19438]

>>19192
College, bars, work

[Anonymous No.19457]

the only thing that sucks about being socially awkward is

>finally get the balls to approach a girl
>instantly get one-itis

[Anonymous No.19509]

>>19457
Or you find out that you only thought you needed to be normal and having a normalfag life is fucking ass in reality. I think many other anons who overcame this problem had the same experience as me. Grass is always greener.

[Anonymous No.19640]

>>19438
>College
i'm not in school anymore

>bars
how do i find these people? when i go to bars, people are already in their groups

>work
I work with a lot of young people. my office gets over 100 college grads a year, many Chads
but, i'm 30, awkward, and they all have their own friends within their same "year" (the cohort of new hires each year)

[Anonymous No.19661]

>>229
Start reading bro, you gotta exercise the brain too

[Anonymous No.19763]

>>19661
i do read occasionally, but only about one book a month

i read both fiction and nonfiction. currently on the 3rd dune novel

how does it help me get friends?

[Anonymous No.19779]

>>19763
You can be less boring when you talk

[Anonymous No.19844]

>>414
Oldfag detected, 90% of teenagers and college kids don't have Facebook and think it's for housewives and grandparents

[Anonymous No.19876]

>>11531
If you're looking for the real deal, you have to be real too
If you are embarrased by what your life looks like, start taking steps to change it
You could answer that question "I was on the internet the entire weekend lol.. But I'm trying to change my habits"

And same with the other question, "I don't have that many friends, but I'm trying to change it"
That's admirable

[Anonymous No.19956]

>>229
how much are you reading? Maybe read books about conversation and social interaction within the context of your culture. Then next time you're at the gym try out some of the things you read about, just make sure you have enough water and protein for the weights if you are breaking a plateau.

[Anonymous No.20407]

>>19876
it's just too sad to admit that i haven't had a friend in over a decade

i feel like i have to make something up and say my friends moved away, or have families now and we don't hang out as much

[Anonymous No.20756]

>>19956
>>19956
i've tried, but i find it hard to put this stuff in practice

[Anonymous No.20975]

>how do i become confident and talkative
Not our problem. If I knew the answer I would be slaying pussy right not instead of shit posting.

Probably by getting big biceps but then it would means you would need isolation

[Anonymous No.21115]

>>415

you'd be surprised lol. plenty of women date / marry guys they aren't physically attracted to. it's weird.

[Anonymous No.21376]

>>21115
OP here, where do i find these girls?

inb4 become rich or popular

[Anonymous No.21446]

>>229
>almost a 30 year old kv, with no friends or gf

youre in too deep nigga, theres no turning this around

[Anonymous No.21577]

>>265
It's easier said than done, but you really just have to do it eventually.

I was hung up on one girl for years, it took me a long time (and some psychadelic drugs) to get over her and realize she wasn't the idealized version of her in my mind, but about 2-3 times a year I think of her and have that feeling again.

[Anonymous No.21719]

>>418
literally just reverse google search

[Anonymous No.21770]

>>229
DId /r9k/ also merge?

[Anonymous No.21868]

>>21376
answered your own question

[Anonymous No.21939]

>>271
>tfw am well acquainted with this feel

[Anonymous No.22052]

>>360
This

[Anonymous No.22200]

>>360
i have no interests though

or at least none that aren't achievable and none that other people aren't better at already

>have coworkers that speak other languages
>have coworkers who are good with computers and programming
>have coworkers who play lots of sports
>have coworkers who play instruments
>have a few coworkers who lift more than me
i suck at everything and won't be as good as those who started in their teens and have 10+ years experience in their interests

[Anonymous No.22264]

>>19763
Reading a book isn't the point, having something to talk about is the point. Express your personality via your preferences, read enough books that you can ask a whole series of questions depending on the answers you get. Develop an opinion on politics and be willing to defend your stance, or listen to their point of view if you're not well-versed. Watch a few movies and figure out the shit you do or don't like.

It sounds like OP and any other posters joining in have this cardboard personality where they don't want to say something "wrong" for fear of fucking up their budding friendship. Ironically, having no personality is a friendship-killer.

Go to the bar by yourself, sit down, and have two different beers, one after the other. Watch a match of football or whatever news channel is on. By virtue of the fact that you're sitting at the bar, anyone else sitting there will be in a group of at maximum 3,you can't have a 6-person group at the bar logistically. Decide whether you like beer you're drinking, and when they've had a minute to sit down and get settled, ask them what they're drinking and, when they answer, whether they like it.

You've now established yourself as interested in their opinions, as someone who at least shares some kind of common interest with them, as outgoing enough to hold a conversation. Depending on their answer, give an opinion of your own: "oh, Budweiser? I'm more of a Miller man myself." or "Bud isn't a bad beer, I'm a fan of belgian ales myself, have you ever tried St. Bernardus?" or "I mostly stick to American stuff, never heard of Lindemann's before, what kind of stuff do they make?", whatever comes to mind. Maybe you wind up calling their beer l favorite beer piss-water, but you know what? Either they'll accept that or they won't. You don't have to agree with someone all the time to be friends with them.

And it's like that with everything, too. Form an opinion on Sci-Fi vs Fantasy books, and start a conversation about that. Go rock climbing, or study geology, whatever, and then share that. Most importantly, do this and involve them, ask them what they've been into lately, and if you know something about it, talk about that; if you don't, ask them what their opinion on it is, ask them to redpill you on whatever they're passionate about.

Most of all, don't forget, it's literally impossible to lose any friends from this, so worst case scenario, you come across as a douche to a relative stranger. You've got nothing to lose, so go out and be your autistic self around folks, some of them are bound to be able to tolerate you.

[Anonymous No.22615]

>>22264
thanks for the advice

you are right that i don't know how to express myself properly. I'm not good at explaining why i like certain things over another

like coworkers have asked why i don't like the tv show modern family. i just said i don't think it's funny

[Anonymous No.22633]

>>339
>read a book on self esteem, not on confidence, self esteem.
Recommendations?

[Anonymous No.22851]

>>22200
>>22615
And to bring this almost kind of back to a /fit/ concept, you don't start your first day at the gym benching 300lbs. It's fine to admit to a stranger that you know fucking nothing about a subject you're talking about, as long as you express an interest in changing that.

Get in the habit of, when you find something you do/don't like, trying to figure out why. Watch some other shows that are like Modern Family (in your example), and use that to form your hypothesis. Maybe you hate how it portrays gay people. Maybe Ed O'Neill being married to Sofia Vergara and raising a kid who's as much of a faggot as Manny strains believability. Maybe you just really fucking hate sitcoms. People like a guy who's articulate.

[Anonymous No.23126]

>>22851
>>22851
thanks, i think that's pretty helpful advice

[Anonymous No.23199]

>>386
Because it means that you're self-centered. The worst person in the world is a very special person. But you're not the worst person in the world and probably not special.

[Anonymous No.23823]

>>23126
name?

[Anonymous No.24636]

>>23823
Sierra Skye

[Anonymous No.24671]

>>23126
how old do you think she is?

[Anonymous No.24763]

>>24671
her name is posted here >>24636

google search says 20-21, but given the amount of makeup she wears, i would have guessed at least 25 /tips fedora

[Anonymous No.24894]

>>229
Take phenibut. It's the autism miracle cure drug.

[Anonymous No.25009]

>>242
underrated post

[Anonymous No.25377]

>>24894
have you used it?

some of the side effects and withdrawal symptoms don't look appealing. neither does the fact that it is poorly researched

>Not respecting phenibut can land you in phenibut hell. (Severe anxiety, panic, suicidal thoughts, psychotic behavior, seizures, nausea, vomiting, etc)
>Going off phenibut cold turkey from a dependent state can cause severe and potentially life-threatening withdrawal symptoms.
>Do not mix phenibut with alcohol. Tolerance fluctuates and what may have been safe one day may not be safe the next
all scary things tbqh

[Anonymous No.25551]

>>12374
Bitch Bad

[Anonymous No.25657]

>>14936
>Do you guys think that this scope of social problems you see on the net is normal
No. The socially dysfunctional congregate on the internet and wallow in each other's pity. The normal people also use the internet, but they do not participate in those communities, and they prefer to spend time with real people in real life over communicating with sentient digital abstractions of text boxes.

[Anonymous No.26063]

>>19640
Damn this ho cute asf doe.

[Anonymous No.26263]

>want to be social and make friends
>want to escape my life of only having internet friends
>want a cute gf

>every single time I interact with other people I realize how much I hate it and how much I dislike the company of other people

hahaha

[Anonymous No.26496]

>>24894
>>24894
i just spent almost an hour looking into phenibut

a lot of people say it works, and makes you feel less anxious. but a lot of people compare it to alcohol
it also has some potential severe side effects and withdrawal symptoms

alcohol only helps me at blackout drunk "doses", before that i'm still in my head and self-conscious of what i say

a few alcoholic drinks do make me smile more and feel a bit better, but i still can't think of anything to say to people

[Anonymous No.26815]

be yourself

[Anonymous No.26930]

>>26496
and nofap failed

[Anonymous No.27655]

>>18911
Like i said. You can't just read it. You have to apply it and do the exercises even if it feels dumb.

I'm a hypocrite cuz I never finished it but the months I was doing it I was progressing really well and met my wife

Once I met her I got lazy and stopped developing personally

[Anonymous No.28577]

>>27655
other than Think and Grow Rich, what other books would you recommend?

[Anonymous No.29434]

>>26930
nofap is a meme

[Anonymous No.30403]

>>399
>>400
I have never seen someone start a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop

[Anonymous No.30490]

>>30403
I've had it happen to me one too many times.

Seriously, don't do it. People don't want to be bothered by rambling autists who lack self-awareness.

[Anonymous No.30616]

>>11531

Heterochromia was a pretty feature up until I saw this girls eyes.

[Anonymous No.30657]

>>287
first thing make sure your put together and clean, being /fit/ is a plus. then all you really need to do is just go up to them and say hi then try and make conversation with them. There will be two outcomes they will either talk or tell you they don't want to talk.

[Anonymous No.30685]

On this topic, not OP, any recommendations as to how have fun chatting with friends?

I have no problem engaging a conversation with someone in person bu I can't for the life of me maintain a text message conversation

[Anonymous No.31117]

>>30657
what if they want to talk and you can't think of anything to say after "hi"?

speaking from experience, I've tried saying hi twice before in bars, both times i came up with poor follow-ups after a noticable delay

[Anonymous No.31254]

For some of us it just isn't possible. Either LDAR or end it. That's what I'm gonna do.
>t. 21 yo KV

[Anonymous No.32238]

>>28577
None. Like I said, I couldn't even finish TaGR.

Only thing I can say is that you gotta find what works for you--what speaks to you.

I started watching vids from Simple Pickup and studying their stuff. This was at a time when my whole world fell on me, and I had ZERO social network in my own home town. I was extremely depressed because I had moved back less than a year prior for job, friends, gf, family and all those things fell through, lost, broke up or moved away. I never actually did "street pickup", but I developed the mindset to be playful enough to relax and meet people (while TaGR was teaching me to be positive/optimistic in general and create new opportunities for myself as such)

I'm 31 now and watching that stuff is kinda cringe to me now tho tbqh, but without it, I likely would've been too uptight to come off as fun and confident and land my wife.

People talk about the Law of Attraction, and from what I've heard it's a lot of the same thing.