/wg/ Writing General

[Anonymous No.22819082]

Do Not Adjust Your Set edition

Previous: >>22802491

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Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.

If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MASqSn1iw74

[Anonymous No.22819102]

Writing prompt: The most deserved asswhooping you can muster.
Make the recipient absolutely have it coming. Like, write the biggest piece of shit imaginable and then have someone kick their ass in the most satisfying way possible

[Anonymous No.22819269]

>>22819102
In my next chapter my main character finally meets his biological father.
His mother was a soldier who was kidnapped and then raped as part of a eugenics project to bypass magical bullshit.
I intend for him to make some well worded pleas since he knows that he's going to be killed, but my MC will see through this and decide that no matter what well intentioned bullshit he can muster, he has been involved in hundreds of kidnappings and rapes.
I'm thinking that I'll have him challenge him for the position of village chief, but really it will just be a drawn out execution.
His father is weaker in what would be considered as normal magic, and my MC will play a game, he'll tell him exactly how he is going to attack, but because he is so much stronger each of the attacks is going to hit him until he eventually falls to the ground, at which point my MC will stomp him to death as his... lets just use the term brother, looks on in horror at what he could've been.

[Anonymous No.22819310]

>>22819102
He really had to do it, huh? As if prompts weren't annoying enough, he had to take all the fun out of it, turn it into a chore. A poorly written villain with the expection of it leading to an over the top one sided beat down? It's masturbation at its finest, not a thought spared for the self defeating shortcuts that anyone undertaking your pornographic request for the sake of learning would fumble upon, all for your sick pleasure. What makes your prompt good? The fact that it's a satisfying concept? The satisfaction comes from the build-up, you know, the thing that people have to put a lot of time into and something written from a prompt ill affords. That it'd be cool to write about someone getting their shit kicked in? It's hardly all that fun unless you're that base an animal, then again you haven't even closed your fly since I've called you out earlier. That bad is defeated by good? I don't think you could have made it any more boring even if you tried to, truly your masterpiece, talent is due here so I shall reluctantly praise you for that.
What good is a prompt that teaches you nothing? It's only good for the reader, whose hands still hover on his crotch's vicinity, fly reopened at half mast, veiny eyes, salivating, swallowing his spit while thinking of cocks, the sort of perverted reader that goes into writing threads and makes acephalous posts asking people to write very shitily for his enjoyment. And what do they get out of it? At best nothing, at worst a salty surprise.
Is it closed yet? You can let it out in your pants if this was too satisfying for you, hopefully they aren't soiled already from those cocks you were thinking about esrlier.
I've attached some more material for you to brush up on, you're on top of your game already but a refresher is never ill advised.

[Anonymous No.22819340]

>>22819310
Kek.
It is a very fair point, his prompt is something that requires some build up to be worth it.
It reminds me of stories where they give people the darkest backstories, they were raped and beaten and so on and so forth, but unless you care about the character already, those things mean almost nothing.
In my writing I decided to make the character and then only later did I explain their backstory.
Few people are likely to WANT to talk about anything in their past, so front loading it pulls the teeth from the reveal.

[Anonymous No.22819439]

Why do you even write and self publish? Nobody will read it. And by chance someone does, it'll offend them and you'll lose your career and life. This is a stupid hobby and I hope everyone drops it immediately

[Anonymous No.22819529]

>>22819439
Kill yourself, faggot.
I make five bucks a month on it and I've never had anyone bitch about my shit even if rape is an oft brought up theme.

[Anonymous No.22819563]

I have a weird dynamic with my martial arts story.
I intentionally subvert a lot of tropes that usually come into play with these types of stories. But I do it in a way that I consider smarter. Like how I portray Kung Fu as a joke of a martial art.
My reasoning is simple: Even though you’re superhuman enough to pull off all those moves, you’re better off practicing something more pragmatic and usable rather than wasting your superhuman capabilities on inefficient maneuvers. If you can do a flying spin kick with enough speed to break a man’s face, you’re still better off using a normal kick because anything else is overcomplicating things.
All arts, except Kung Fu because that fucking sucks, have their strengths and flaws.
I also have the MMA fighter get whooped not by some esoteric magic, but by Pankration, which is basically better MMA.

[Anonymous No.22819573]

>>22819563
I somewhat have that with my story as well.
Some mages may bring out these advanced spells that summon fire shaped like a dragon and what have you, but if you close the distance and put your thumbs in his eye sockets by using simple stuff like friction removal and boosting yourself with bursts of fire like a rocket, that fancy looking shit is going to lose.
My MC is pragmatic with his magic, it is a tool, and efficient killing is the best way to use that tool.

[Anonymous No.22819716]

>>22819573
Yes

[Anonymous No.22819734]

>>22819563
When people without personal martial arts experience write martial arts stories, the result is always pure, blatant fantasy. Don't even mention the word "realism" in a same paragraph with "tropes". It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.22819910]

>>22819563
Martial arts is a power fantasy genre. Its readers don't want actual realism but disbelief suspended fantasy. All you "realistic" elements are there to ground the fantasy. Be warned that martial arts enthusiasts are massive autists and are easily pissed off. On that subject, I'd also rather this thread didn't get bump limited by retards arguing about which martial art is better, so please save the bait for /tv/.

[Anonymous No.22819930]

When self-publishing, should one go for physical books (print-on-demand) or is digital sufficient?

[Anonymous No.22819938]

I can't ever chose if I want to write a fantasy light novel or a sinister gothic.

[Anonymous No.22819942]

>>22819930
Digital. There's no point in getting physical copies printed unless you have known buyers ready to buy, because you are an indie fucking nobody. Unless you've got a ton of money, which I assume you don't bc you're posting here, to do a marketing campaign, some form of promotion, then printing books will simply cost you a lot of money. There's no real promise of getting any of it back, and Unless you wrote a fucking masterpiece, very few people will probably purchase or read your book. This isn't the movies; be real.
Digital copies are just one pdf in a sea of other bullshit, so I guess it makes it harder to be noticed, but costs you next to nothing, and promoting is a matter of spamming a link to places online.
You don't even have a right to speak of printed copies until you have an audience

[Anonymous No.22819978]

>>22819938
Start out with the fantasy and do a gradual genre shift through the book like Bloodborne

[Anonymous No.22820000]

>>22819734
Do you know any authors who write martial arts well?

[Anonymous No.22820066]

Can anybody who read litrpg help me out? I'm trying to write one where the rpg elements are there but not always mentioned. You only remember it's a game like system whenever the MC levels up and choose which skills too get. I write battles without constant reference to the MC's attributes and skills, and of course nothing like HP bar or whatever. I have seen reviews complaining about stories that don't utilize the game mechanics enough, and some big names even have to tell readers the mechanics will come soon enough in their note for the first few chapters. Am I shooting myself in the foot underutilizing the game mechanics?

[Anonymous No.22820074]

I got an email from an editor that I sent my manuscript. Some negative reviews online. My novel is Fantasy with some elements of Sci-Fi. and it's not a specialized editorial, the email tells about their interest in a successful launch event. How should I approach this? I sent them the manuscript, and the attached letter shows that they have read it.

[Anonymous No.22820106]

>>22820066
It sounds to me like you should drop the direct litRPG part and contextualize the level ups as a more natural part of the world without direct quantification.
To me a litRPG should either be very clear and lean into the RPG part of it, or you should just write fantasy, which is what I did.
You can already do something like referring to things by a system of judgment that is widely used within your world, but one that was designed and implemented by intelligent life, or, if you want it really universal, say that the gods handed down this system to humanity.
Within my story I would compare this to my use of language, which is universal to all sapient beings because the god of the world made it so.
I think that people who read litRPG want the RPG part, and leaving it out is a bad call, because their brainworms want to be able to easily look at number go up or big number on good/evil person so they can go
>WHOA, LOOK HOW BIG HIS NUMBER IS.
Apologies if this came off as ranty or odd, I've been drinking and I've been up for a while.

[Anonymous No.22820142]

>>22819102
My current storry
>>22819439
>self-publish
You do realize that just about anyone can make money self-publishing on Amazon even with the most low-quality shit, right?
And you don't even have to self-publish. Write some short stories/flash fiction, use submission grinder and get your work into a literary magazine. It's not even hard. First you get published in mom and pop magazines that are desperate for content, then you progress onto bigger ones, then you start sending in chapters of your novel or whatever and drastically increase your chance of a big name publication. I've published a short story and a poem, and have a second short story being worked on by the magazine editor right now. This all happened over the space of a few months.

[Anonymous No.22820148]

>>22819439
>self-publish
You do realize that just about anyone can make money self-publishing on Amazon even with the most low-quality shit, right?
And you don't even have to self-publish. Write some short stories/flash fiction, use submission grinder and get your work into a literary magazine. It's not even hard. First you get published in mom and pop magazines that are desperate for content, then you progress onto bigger ones, then you start sending in chapters of your novel or whatever and drastically increase your chance of a big name publication. I've published a short story and a poem, and have a second short story being worked on by the magazine editor right now. This all happened over the space of a few months.

[Anonymous No.22820162]

I am a pretty average person, there is nothing that really separates me from the pack. I like to tell myself that there is, but I also have enough awareness to catch how ridiculous that is, and chasten myself back into a temporary state of humility. Sometimes I go too far, in either direction. I like to watch television, but I mostly watch reruns of shows I have been watching for a decade or more, and have seen a million times. I do genuinely laugh or get some passive entertainment out of watching things I've already seen, but this is probably just due to the para-comforting familiarity that it brings with it, and it's ability to break up silence. Silence sucks. There are times when I write, where I question the value or utility of my writing, and then the value of writing itself. I'm actually doing it now. What tends to happen is this will cause a sudden paralysis or loss of motivation, and I will often stop writing and then turn on the television to distract or soothe myself, attempting to forget about existential dread. There are other times, exceptions, where I follow this train of thought to its conclusion, and recognize that the value of anything in existence could be questioned this same way, every activity engaged in by any living thing is ultimately futile, arbitrary; the intention is to live, alas, everything dies; struggling toward an impossible goal is definitional futility.
When I was young, these insights would put a panick into me, but I have danced this dance so long now, that the panick is long subdued. In fact, I only ever panick now, when I forget that life is meaningless; remembering it is what restores my sense of calm, and brings me back from the dead.
At least once a day, I assault the mind of God and thus destroy a part of myself. I don't mean I do any freak shit, no rituals or crimes against humanity. I mean that, at least once a day, I allow myself to hate or fear existence out of petty resentment. I lay still in bed all day in fear, or I watch things that confirm my biases and make me angry, I will think about someone who wronged me and wish ill upon them. I am not like this all the time, I do have awareness of it and generally feel pretty bad when I come out of it, but my sincere feelings of regret or sorrow are not enough to break the cycle.
The type of resentment that causes large scale catastrophes, like mass killings or terrorist actions, or the founding of a hedge fund, is not something that is common across the human race; it may be getting more common. Still, the majority of people, if only out of fear of punishment, do not express these levels of sadistic, remorseless resentment; instead, what is common to us all, is the petty resentment I spoke of. Cursing out someone who wronged us, being lazy and saying it's justified because the world isnt fair, wishing bad things for anyone at all, seeing other people as stupid and useless, etc. This is our Original Sin.

[Anonymous No.22820165]

I do enjoy playing video games, and overall goofing off and wasting my time. I really enjoy wasting time as much as I can. If I respect my employer, I will do my best not to waste time at work, but beyond that, I waste time wherever possible. I question why that is, because I do have sincere dreams and want to use any ability I have for good purposes, but I often feel a sense of rebellious commitment to underachieving, as a way to preserve my integrity. I am never quite sure how much of that is bullshit, as I can easily see where it's just an excuse for doing nothing, being a sack of nothing. It's not just that, though. I can see the real utility of avoiding too much investment in the material, human world; the relationship between principles, and income per annum, seems to be inverted.
There is also the matter of my brothers, all around this planet. Every man upon this Earth is my brother. A few of them, I have wronged personally, and untold billions, I have wronged impersonally, even unwittingly. I do see an issue with seeking a high material status, or level of comfort, when the realities of so many of God's sons are shattered beyond hope. I have never felt more silly and ashamed than when I was chasing money, or when I had a lot of money. Money seems very evil, when I have it, I try to get rid of it, I feel like I am carrying a demon in a bottle.
I feel intense desires for love, but when it comes my way, I take it for granted. Still, I believe I'm worth loving. Maybe I am, simply, a moron.

[Anonymous No.22820182]

>>22819930
Amazon will let you publish a print-on-demand copy at the same time you publish a digital copy, so there's no need to make a choice.
>>22819942
What are you even seething about? Do you even know what year it is?

[Anonymous No.22820184]

>>22820000
I thought the Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee was well done.

[Anonymous No.22820202]

Any advice or recs for writing alt history well?
My setting is basically WW1 and the period after if the Bolshevik revolution never happened and also there were some other societal changes following the industrial revolution that I won't quite go into. It's not at all central to the setting, the story is much more of a character-focused comedy-drama so honestly I don't care about going into autistic detail about the realism of it all, but at the same time I want it to be at least slightly believable or at least suspend disbelief-able.

[Anonymous No.22820355]

>>22820202
I'd say don't try to shoehorn it and use the narrator to explain the situation. Let the characters introduce the setting, maybe add a set piece where political discussion happens, but even there, the characters should worry about how the political climate affects them, their life, their businesses, etc. The reader can be kept in the dark at least for a while.

[Anonymous No.22820443]

>>22819082
You all suck @ writing because you basically shit post all day then shit out a new half arsed page of stream of consciousness "prose" that sits unedited until you post it online for free. Get a real writing tool
>E Ink (easy on eyes)
>No apps but just a writing processor
>Send to other devices or emails at ease
>Ergonomic keyboard
>Light and slim, it can be brought anywhere

[Anonymous No.22820445]

>>22820443
Pic related

[Anonymous No.22820462]

>>22820355
Thanks man, that's actually exactly what I was meaning to do but I was wondering if it wasn't enough for the setting to make logical sense.
The narrator/MC is a guy from some bumfuck nowhere Russian village who enlists during WW1 but ends up in a menial clerk job and develops a weird parasocial relationship with one of the commanders who barely even knows he exists. He's obsessed with the war and I'm trying to imply that he's an unreliable narrator who exaggerates or distorts a lot of shit because he barely understands the political situation and has never seen actual combat which makes him wildly insecure. I'm just worried that this will come across more like I don't know what I'm doing with my setting.

[Anonymous No.22820481]

>>22820445
That's a toy.
>5hp
>n-key rollover
>capable of 250wpm given enough amphetamines and mescaline

[Anonymous No.22820490]

>>22820443
who are you talking to mate?

[Anonymous No.22820768]

>>22820000
No. Unfortunately, authors typically aren't combatants and martial artists typically don't know how to write. The best action scenes are written by people who outright admit they know nothing about technique and either present things very vaguely and poetically, letting you imagine the finer details, or else assemble the conflicts around some kind of "trick" that allows the characters to win without relying on muscle.

[Anonymous No.22820903]

>>22819734
That's why I talk realism and mix it with fantasy.
"Chi" doesn't exist

[Anonymous No.22820955]

my career the last couple years has been being a cook in retirement and long term care homes. i just got the idea today to write about my dysfunctional job experiences. finally, something i can really write about.

[Anonymous No.22821006]

>been working on my stories consistently recently
Looks like writing is back on the menu, boys.
Didn't think I had it in me, but it was trivially easy all along. All I had to do was set a randomly assigned time to write and have zero expectations.

[Anonymous No.22821015]

>>22819910
Everything matters when it comes to martial arts.
Not just your style or physical capabilities.
Your experience, your mindset, your approach, even your stance, everything. For example, there's a part where a guy who practices a highly dangerous form of aikido gets demolished by a guy who practices collar and elbow despite being nearly 20 kilos heavier and having a fighting style tailor-made to beat his opponent.
However, his opponent has at least 10 years of experience over him, is far more willing to hit him where it hurts, and shuts down his reactive manner of fighting by forcing him on the offensive and as a result closing off a majority of his techniques.
The "Old Master" isn't a be-like-water Miyagi wannabe, he's just experienced, analytical, and hits like a motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.22821069]

>>22821015
Actually, here's a list of things I discuss
>There is no such thing as a "Soft" martial art.
>At the same time, being a berserker only takes you so far
>A true fight is brutal, but a true fighter knows how to keep a clear head under such conditions and strike, grab, and throw with animalistic ferocity without losing their clear head.
>Quality over quantity, and it's better to master at least one thing than to just pick up and throw away whatever you like.
>Everything matters in a fight right, down to the smallest things.
>As it turns out, revenge only works if you're tough enough to accomplish it.
>Your story only ends with death.

[Anonymous No.22821487]

>>22820768
>martial artists typically don't know how to write
The only book I've read that was written by a martial artist was Matt Hughes' autobiography, which was based but fucking awful. The written English was ok due to having a ghost writer but there was no real structure weight to any of it, resulting in a barely comprehensible mess. It turns out getting punched in the head for decades doesn't help with the craft of writing.

[Anonymous No.22821688]

>>22820490
>You all suck @ writing
>You all suck
>You all
>You
Gee boss, I dunno.

[Anonymous No.22821735]

All y'all

[Anonymous No.22821859]

https://johnnymcivor.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-4.html

[Anonymous No.22822256]

>>22819082
Alas, I spent a year working on this, already published over 50 chapters with 30 more in the backlog, and so many more ideas in my notes that will never see the light of day. But it's a failure, so even though it will pain me to do so I'm thinking about dropping this story to work on something more marketable. At least it was fun writing about cute girls and the epic airship
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/71132/

[Anonymous No.22822272]

It was a dark day when democracy died. I remember it – January 6, 2021. It was a cold morning, about 40 degrees out, and I had just made coffee. I turned on my phone to look at the time. On the display of my phone was a notification from CNN. It simply stated: Pro-Trump rioters have stormed the Capitol. My insides froze. I had known a rally for President Trump was happening today. But with this headline, it felt like the end of democracy was near.
I unlocked my phone and went to CNN. In big bold letters, the website stated: A COUP IS HAPPENING. I tapped on the article and read the news – 50,000 rioters gathered on the day of the counting of the electoral votes outside the Capitol building. President-elect Biden had won, and it was the rioters’ mission to prevent the counting of the electoral votes. Armed with handguns and assault rifles, the rioters breached the security perimeter, broke their way into the Capitol, killed Nancy Pelosi, and captured Vice President Mike Pence.
Under threat of death, Vice President Pence was forced to stop the electoral vote count and send the results back to the states to be recertified. The states of Georgia, Arizona, and Pennsylvania changed their results, handing the 2020 presidential election to President Donald J. Trump. With the backing of the National Guard and the approval of Congress (most of whom voted to certify the alternate slate of electors out of fear of death for them or their family), President Trump was inaugurated for a second term on January 20, 2021, while Joe Biden and Kamala Harris fled to Canada to live in political exile.
It was an insurrection. And it had succeeded.
I had never really considered myself political before that fateful day. I was an accountant. I was more interested in graphs and numbers than politics. I mean, sure, I kept abreast on the most important issues of the day, but I was no hardcore supporter of either side of the aisle.
My parents were Reagan Republicans. “Yeah, he may put out some mean tweets now and then, but he’s the right man for our country,” my dad would say. My brother and sister did not care for politics so much, though I suspected they leaned Republican.
But on that day, when President Trump and his mob overturned the election results, guaranteeing him to be ‘President for Life,’ I knew I had to do something. I could not sit idly by while the country I loved turned into a dictatorship. I just didn’t know what to do.
That’s when I met Kelsey. Kelsey was part of a group known as Antifa, a radical left-wing organization dedicated to antifascism and ousting Trump from power. We had met online, where our mutual disdain of the current Commander-in-Chief helped break the ice. She was 29. I was 28.
This is our story.

[Anonymous No.22822359]

Anyone else learned to weaponize post-nut clarity to help their writing? This isn't even a shitpost. I legitimately put out all my best work in the hour or so after I've jerked off.

[Anonymous No.22822366]

>>22822359
Yes and no, but it's more of an editing thing. Writing, I feel like Miles Davis and have to edge before I get into it, to nut would kill the mojo.

[Anonymous No.22822460]

>>22820074

If they ask you for money, it's a scam.

[Anonymous No.22822566]

>>22819082
Working on my fantasy novel. Please, point out any mistakes, suggestions, ways to improve. This was me just trying to get the general mood down. First draft.

[Anonymous No.22822736]

>>22820066
No it's fine. People don't want game mechanics in actions and fighting so much. An interesting system and leveling up are the important parts.

[Anonymous No.22822796]

My second novel will be a ya sci-fi romance. Basically Star Wars/Halo in space but it's about 18 years old getting over their emotional problems and falling in love as they save the universe.

[Anonymous No.22822801]

>>22822796
That 'in space' was redundant I guess I'm really tired.

[Anonymous No.22822810]

>>22819269
do you have daddy issues?

[Anonymous No.22822817]

>>22822566
>but we are on a horse
reminds me of
>but during the stone age, (Chris-Chan, Sonichu)

otherwise, I'd recommend you read more.

[Anonymous No.22822824]

>>22822810
No.
The story has a theme, in part, of a chosen family vs the family one is born into.
I'm not an orphan either, and I have 11 siblings all from the same parents.
Throughout my life I've seen failed families where one parent or the other leaves, worse are the ones where they stay, but fuck up their kids anyway.
One of my sisters is helping raise her BF's kid since the mom is a disaster, another one has her husbands niece and nephew and are going for full adoption because both parents are unfit.
The main character also has a positive relationship with his adopted father.

[Anonymous No.22822875]

>>22822817
>otherwise, I'd recommend you read more.
What do you mean "read more"?

[Anonymous No.22822911]

I utterly lost. I've somehow fallen into a pit of choosing between writing software as if one is needed. Its taken me nearly 2 months to write a stupid short story because every time I open the file up I wonder if I'm writing the "right" way. Currently I just use my markdown notes app for everything, but maybe a dedicated software for writing would help me write more, if nothing else because it would be a dedicated environment for it? The frustration I have with myself is unbearable

[Anonymous No.22822923]

>>22822911
Which app did Dosoevsky use? What about Stephen King? When Hemingway sat down to write what did he click on? What app was critical to the success of J. K. Rowling?

[Anonymous No.22822932]

>>22822272
Stop hyperventilating. Nothing of the sort happened. The paper-thin court cases against Trump are close to crumbling, he will be re-elected, and none of your histrionic predictions will come true. Followup to >>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.22822937]

>>22822911
I have always personally found that the right software, set up, and atmosphere influence my writing dramatically. I objectively write better then. Many might scoff and say that it doesn't matter, but those are the same type of people who would brag about sleeping only x amount of hours.

I wouldn't think about finding the right program as time wasted. That's all part of the writing process. You should just acknowledge and accept that that is what you require to write well.

[Anonymous No.22822982]

>>22822937

How did you come across your setup, what made you realise that it was the right one for you?

>>22822923
The greats all had methodologies for their work. I'm trying to figure mine out.

[Anonymous No.22823154]

>>22822937
>>22822982
I think the best software/writing settings are ones you don't notice. And I don't mean in the faggy sense of minimalist or "immersive" or "distraction free" as advertised by these software. It's any environment you are comfortable to write in.

I have always written in Word for a long time. Once I attempted to try out these tailored software for writing, one with minimal UI and another with complex functions like chapters and timeline a click away, and all that fancy stuff. But I didn't feel comfortable, it was like my mind was always hung up all the bells and whistle. The minimal ui made me feel like I was doing something else instead of writing, if that makes sense. Admittedly I'm kind of autistic when it comes to this stuff, but once I got back to Word, my familiar setting, my flow immediately returned, the ideas came easily and the words freely. I stopped worrying about all the funtions or whatever, I don't even use headings unless I'm formatting everything for a book.

Later on I moved to writing on an android tablet with a bluetooth keyboard since it's a more convenient setup to carry in my bag. And I struggled again with different softwares even though I never cared about the functions anyway. I can't use google doc because the shitty app makes you save then manually export your files to local storage everytime instead of the quicker progress of editing and save on PC. And I don't want to rely on an internet connection. Anyway, I found at last an app that looks just like Word on PC, (the word app is shit on android), and it was perfect again. Maybe with time I could adapt to a new environment, a different app. But I think familiarity is the best for writing. So if you have been writing on a software just fine before, go back to that and stop worrying about the perfect software, you may never find it.

[Anonymous No.22823293]

>>22819102
At some point, any punishment is going to be overly cruel. Like you can't be "oh you stole money from the orphanage fund, here, let me send you to prison, destroy your legacy, then have prisoners brutally rape and torture you".

Generally, the punishment should fit the crime of the antagonist and probably some karmic twist.
>bitchy female boss fires protagonist, ends up working humiliating waitress job
>rival business owner tries to get business shut down, only for his to be destroyed
>treasure bad guy has been trying their whole life to find is found by the protagonist and they don't even get to see it

[Anonymous No.22823315]

>>22822272
The only way this could be interested and not just some Handmaiden's Tale-style right-wing dystopia wankfest is if it played with the idea that the "resistance" was backed by corporations and billionaires, with the protagonist being an unwitting pawn to an even bigger conspiracy.

[Anonymous No.22823323]

>>22823293
Or in my case
>You beat the ever loving piss and permanently mutilated our hero. Tore off his arm
>Time to get your ass beat

[Anonymous No.22823358]

>>22823293
But sometimes the being overly cruel is also a good thing.
I was the one who posted>>22819269
In simple terms my MC split into two exact copies of one another.
In the time that they have been split, roughly a year and a quarter, the one who left has become more inclined towards violence because he has been in a more brutal environment where peace refuses to be an option. He has become morally detached due to not worrying about what his family will think about him.
The one who stayed got married, had a kid, mellowed out a lot, but he is also much weaker than the one who left, and even if he is morally better, he can't stop his other self.

[Anonymous No.22823530]

>>22822566
Too much McCarthy without McCarthy

[Anonymous No.22823557]

>>22819269
>His mother was a soldier
fucking dropped

[Anonymous No.22823561]

>>22822256
I wouldn't call it a failure. I don't know what the hell you expected, but that's about the absolute best you can do at RR with gay drama. It looks competently written too, though the style's not my cup of tea.

[Anonymous No.22823567]

>>22823557
Do you ever feel like religious beliefs overtake pragmatism?

[Anonymous No.22823568]

>>22823567
To be fair, he could have other reasons why he dislikes that I wrote a female soldier.
If I had written a more grounded story, I would've made them even rarer than they are, but I wished to right a more even world, which in some ways, actually accents the differences of the sexes more, because people still choose to fall into gender roles despite magic evening things out.

[Anonymous No.22823657]

I'm thinking of a title for my piece. I think I can come up with a quintessential scene and a picture for setting the theme. But the title is still confusing. I was considering something like "Fool's Forest", but too many other things are using the same words in many configurations. If I use some word synonymous with "fool" it sounds more like a comedy. Any tips?

[Anonymous No.22823681]

>>22823657
Foolwood.

I'll take 3% of royalties, thanks.

[Anonymous No.22823684]

I'm writing a 20 year old woman grooming a 13 year old boy

I intend for her to mold him into a sexually aggressive brute, but she wants to remain a technical virgin until he comes of age

I wrote her to start off sexually pleasuring him with, in order
>handjobs
>dick kissing
>blowjobs
However I wanted the boy to, after some time and after he hits puberty in full swing and becomes pretty big and strong, to want to go all the way too early

The dynamic I wanted is for her to be in complete control and more or less has her young brute of a husband eating out the palm of her hand. What are some ways she can divert his focus on taking her until he comes of age?

[Anonymous No.22823689]

>>22823684
Just those three acts? No, paizuri? Thigh gap rubbing? Hotdogging?
As for redirecting his attention, just about any physical activity. Acrobatics, martial arts, pretending to be an operator, swordmanship and more. Trains his body, too.

[Anonymous No.22823704]

>>22823684
I think you need some "physical" advantage for the lady. Like magic that can be conveniently broken with enough trying but not untill the right plot point. Maybe even not a physical at all, but some motivation that makes him stop from overpowering her. Like an item or an aristocratic title he wants back. I could imagine a lonely last heiress of a decadent family keeping a disgraced barbarian prince for her pleasures. Very lunar, but a little sprinkle of the revival myth too.
>>22823689
I'd also add a suggestion of a temporary separation while the boy is training/maturing. That part of the story might give a possibility for expressing some romantic sentinent, showing the internal sexual desires of both characters. Also for resolving any subplots that do not need any interaction between two main characters.

[Anonymous No.22823706]

>>22823681
That's not it. Sounds like a location name in an mmorpg.

[Anonymous No.22823727]

>>22823706
And "fool's forest" somehow doesn't?

[Anonymous No.22823733]

>>22823727
No, it's not in one word, it looks more like a metaphor.

[Anonymous No.22823742]

>>22823657
A Foolish band of Fools Foolish journey, in which they Fool themselves into Foolishly embarking on a Foolish quest that only a group of Fools would undertake.

Or FFFFFFF, as it'll be affectionately known when it becomes a cult classic.

[Anonymous No.22823753]

I wanna write a story about fighting but I have an inner conflict where I keep thinking this would just be better as a comic book. But I'm a shitty artist. So I'm torn.

[Anonymous No.22823762]

>>22823753
pick a fight scene and write it
then write it as an outline/storyboard for a comic book
this should help you decide. However, unless you're willing to commission an artist you probably should just write it

[Anonymous No.22823764]

>>22823689
I mostly read vanilla hentai but yeah I think those will be some good things to add

>>22823704
I was actually intending for her to be an illusion mage. The control she has over him with it would be good. I think she cannot control him directly but can subtly direct him to certain paths, like a gentle nudge.

The notion of her as a last heiress is interesting, however I intended for her to groom him because both her and him are a bit on the outs- the barbarian prince is the only member of his people in the city they're at, and the lady is a bastard daughter.

I'm not sure how to write a bastard daughter inheriting things ahead of her legitimate siblings. But it also might just not be necessary.

[Anonymous No.22823868]

Do you follow a guideline while you write.

[Anonymous No.22823989]

>>22823868
Why do I live in clownworld

[Anonymous No.22824515]

>>22823154
thank you

[Anonymous No.22824621]

This might be a very stupid question but how do I stop spamming 'I' when writing a first person POV?

[Anonymous No.22824645]

>>22822359
I can't jerk off because it takes too much time I could spend on writing instead.

[Anonymous No.22824649]

>>22824621
Describe results of the actions instead of what "I" do.
You are asking too broad of a question.

[Anonymous No.22824715]

>>22822256
Wanna be added to the pastebin?

[Anonymous No.22824875]

>>22824621
Talk about other things instead of what the POV is doing and thinking.

[Anonymous No.22824892]

>>22819082
AHHH I'M FALLING IN, SAVE ME WRITING MAN

[Anonymous No.22825085]

>>22819082
How am I supposed to write when tragedy befalls me?

[Anonymous No.22825108]

>>22825085
Keep a journal.

[Anonymous No.22825195]

>>22825085
You are supposed to cast "it is what it is" spell.

[Anonymous No.22825445]

>>22825108
Already do, but that doesn't help me when I'm writing something that isn't my journal.
>>22825195
How do I acquire this magical knowledge?

[Anonymous No.22825454]

Hey writebros anyone want to rate my opening?

>My parents were entirely adequate. My father was a trapper; my mother was whatever the wives of trappers did in those days. Sometimes, when she partook of vodka, she would become convinced that she was the bastard daughter of some nobleman. She spoke of his estate on the Neva river, where she recalled herself toddling along poplar-line alleys and hiding alder cones under the Roman columns of the gazebo. She did not seem particularly interested in the role her own mother had played in all this: sometimes she was a cook or a washerwoman, other times a parishioner whom the mustachioed Don Juan had met on one of his contemplative rides. His horse had been a dapple gray Orlov mare, she was sure of it.

>By my fourth year we had reached an understanding: she would talk, and I would ask what various things had looked like. The chapel in the hazelnut grove had red painted eaves, which were to be avoided in the winter because of icicles. Dutch irises grew around the fountain where three dolphins spewed water from their ferocious mouths. There was once a viper in the peony bed, and she had cried until the farrier killed it with his hammer. My grandfather, who lived in the outbuilding, was deaf and could neither confirm nor deny.

>Whenever my parents quarreled, my father would put his hands behind his back and say “Yes, baroness! Yes, marquess!” This violation of her sanctity never failed to piss her off.

[Anonymous No.22825470]

>>22825454

It's all about the mother and yet it starts the paragraph by saying "my parents.... my father was a trapper"

Why don't you just start by saying "My mother...?"

If you're not going to get into the father until after this section then dont 'even introduce him until the end.

It would make more sense that way.

[Anonymous No.22825493]

>>22823561
Thanks anon. But I'm looking to make money or at least an audience for when I self-publish, and that number is nowhere near good enough
>>22824715
Sure, why not. I plan to return to this story one day, not abandoning altogether. Hopefully some anons will be entertained by the story meanwhile.

[Anonymous No.22825516]

>>22825470
Yeah that's a fair point, thanks anon

[Anonymous No.22825528]

>>22825454
Honestly, I was put off by the opening sentence but the rest is pretty good. Though at the very end
>piss her off
doesn't suit your style, of which I quite enjoy.

[Anonymous No.22825540]

>>22825528
Thanks a lot, I do agree that the opening sentence is a bit drab.

The other part though, I guess it's not evident here but I wanted to set up the idea of occasional tonal shifts where the narrator gets a bit crass and then goes back to normal again. Like there's a part later on in the chapter where him and some other kids are discussing what sodomy means. That kind of thing. I get if it doesn't really make sense here though.

[Anonymous No.22825574]

>>22825540
Even left as it is, it's a good opening. Oddities such as the crass narration will be easily overlooked, rather than looked down on, until the pattern emerges throughout the piece and if they're written well, become approached. Keep at it anon.

[Anonymous No.22825613]

>>22825574
Thanks man. I've been sitting on this story/novel idea for a really long time while being too pussy to get into it, so it means a lot.

[Anonymous No.22825649]

>>22825574
>approached
*appreciated

>>22825613
I think a lot of us have stories like that. I have an idea from highschool that, rather scary to note, I've been dwelling on for the worst part of a decade. I've been writing other stories of course but it's one of those that nags at me in the night. I have good characters with interesting arcs, a plot, some brilliant scenes, but I can never quite nail the setting. Anyway, nice to hear you're cracking on.

[Anonymous No.22825922]

>>22825493
added, also followed you on twitter. first person isnt my cup of tea but ill definitely take a look through your story

[Anonymous No.22826391]

>>22823657
Maybe since it involves "fool", go with a tarot card theme?
>The Fool's Arcana
>The Fool & The World
>The Upside-Down Hierophant

[Anonymous No.22826601]

>>22822566
>Geraldine was clung to the back of Soran
English doesn't use the pluperfect subjunctive
and their ages and heights and positioning are unclear. she's clinging to his back, immediately followed by he likes it when she clutches his face. she has "tiny little hands" meaning she's small, and probably young, and then all of a sudden we have a flashback and Soran is five. Then his voice cracks so maybe that's a clue he's going through puberty? Then Geraldine is suddenly tall enough to whisper in his ear while she's clinging to his back.

>"Tis a splendid sunset," he remarked. "In any other circumstance I'd be marveling at it. But we are on a horse."
And horses are better than sunsets, I guess.

[Anonymous No.22826708]

How would you think a /m/ novel would go?

[Anonymous No.22826713]

>>22823753
Read action-adventure pulps from the 1930s.

[Anonymous No.22826762]

>>22825493
>But I'm looking to make money or at least an audience for when I self-publish
Unfortunately, it kind of smells like that too. The synopsis and the first chapter give me the vibe that you're there to drag things out for as long as possible, instead of telling a clear story with a clear goal. That's not a good vibe and you should be aware of that when you work on your new story. Making a cover that panders to anime minorities isn't a very good idea either, if you're trying to appeal to the masses.

[Anonymous No.22826811]

IMPROVEMENT FROM LAST THREAD
>Heroes names
>Quality
> Fixed errors spotted by anons

Map for my royal road LITRPG
send opinions

[Anonymous No.22826879]

>The ideals he'd readily set aside in the past had finally caught up to him. In ways he never expected, he found himself finding value in things that couldn't be viewed by a black market fence. Compassion, friendship, trust; these things he'd tossed away in the past now weighed him down more than any sack of gold coins ever could. He tried to find new ways to leave these feelings behind. Blocking, spiting, cowering, fighting. Nothing. They were a part of him now, as much as he hated it.

[Anonymous No.22826931]

>>22825454
Agreed with the guy saying to cut the intro and start with it a being about the mother as she is the real subject. There are also some word choices that interrupt the tone. The word bastard seems unsuitable for someone proudly waxing reminiscent, as does "spewed water from their ferocious mouths" which doesn't really fit the tone of distant, possibly fantastical memories of a beautiful early childhood home. It makes the "voice" of the narration a little too generic, and not firmly tied to the characterisation of the mother. Pissed her off guy is also right.

[Anonymous No.22826935]

>>22825540
Crassness is one thing, but piss her off is far too modern sounding

[Anonymous No.22826958]

>>22826935
Not him, but I've found that issue as well.
Angered just doesn't have the same ring to it, as pissed off, to me, implied more rage than just saying someone is angry.
I try to use other phrases, such as them making a wrathful face, but I still do use piss off with certain characters who are more crass.

[Anonymous No.22827258]

>>22826762
>Unfortunately, it kind of smells like that too. The synopsis and the first chapter give me the vibe that you're there to drag things out for as long as possible, instead of telling a clear story with a clear goal.
What makes you think that? I had a clear goal and an ending in mind when I started writing and pages of detailed note for what scenes I would like to write for each part in the larger plot. I already wrote the equivalent of three average paperbacks with an overarching plot throughout. The story also isn't episodic like most serial novels out there. There's not even a chapter I can call filler.
I'm not defending myself, it's a genuine question. If it has that vibe then something is clearly wrong with the sypnosis and the first chapter. Can you point out what?

As for the anime cover, that's the only artstyle I can draw confidently. I don't do AI covers like most writers on the site.

I spend a whole lot of time writing. I love writing. But it's also my dream to make money as a writer, so I need to change my approach even if it pains me so much to throw away something I have worked so hard on. And aiming for money or not I'm still writing about things I like.

[Anonymous No.22827500]

>>22826708
Hard scifi has some /m/ tier novels.

[Anonymous No.22827549]

>>22826958
>>22826935
>>22826931
Thanks for reading it anons, you have good points and I think all of you are right, I'll be focusing on being more deliberate with the tone going forward.
>>22825649
Heh funny enough I've been sitting on the concept of this one since early high school too. It was originally some dumb shit inspired by Dragon Age Origins of all things and no matter how much it evolved over the years my biggest barrier was also the setting until I heard from much better writers than myself that, while worldbuilding is well and good, it's important not to let it become a barrier and if it is, either to simplify it or to just start somewhere and fix it as you go along or even in your 2nd draft. With this story I just went "Fuck it, if I keep focusing on the perfect setting this will never happen, let me just set it in a historical period I like and know something about and be done with it." I don't think everyone should be going to that extreme by any means and of course I know nothing about your setting, it just helped me start personally. Good luck anon, I hope you can keep going with yours too.

[Anonymous No.22827572]

>>22820462
It sounds interesting to me. I'd read it.

[Anonymous No.22827595]

>>22825649
I tend to sit on ideas for a long time before it blossoms into a novel concept. I'm chomping at the bit honestly. Wish I could finish it all now.

[Anonymous No.22827600]

Is webnovel a good site? Saw some people posting on it

[Anonymous No.22827632]

>>22819082
I have a question lit anons. I'm into epic fiction, the one that involves lore and universe building, and lots of factions fighting. I want to write something like that but I want to do it right.

Is there any value in writing fanfiction as training? I think a set universe like the League of Legends lore, that has all of that without an actual arc would be a good training ground.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.22827996]

>>22827600
The only thing I've ever seen on there were Chinese cultivation slop.

>>22827632
I don't think fanfiction is going to improve your writing on a technical level any more than writing original works would, and doing the latter would also improve your worldbuilding and character creating skills.

[Anonymous No.22828126]

Once again I'm finding myself discouraged from writing. It seems like a pointless task in view of real things I have to deal with untill I'm too old. Like wealth acquisition, life goals. It seems that all my attempts at writing are simply cope. Should I completely forget about that untill I'm 60 and retired?

[Anonymous No.22828175]

>>22828126
Prioritize writing enough to get work done. If you can't, it is nothing more than a fancy to you. Your passion to tell a story will force you to do it sooner rather than later. Remember that you are not promised tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.22828189]

>>22827632
Fanfiction teaches you nothing. No character-building, no world-building, no real plots, it's like learning to draw by tracing.
For pure practice, flash fiction is pretty underrated.

[Anonymous No.22828253]

>>22828189
To add to this and to elaborate on the flash fiction thing because I hit post before I was done: try doing small writing exercises, either set in your "main" world or in another practice one. I guess something like short 500+ word vignettes from the perspectives of characters in your different factions where you reveal the world through events and dialogue, another thing my one big world-building autist friend likes to do is to actually write out various in-universe treaties, decrees, historical accounts, articles and so on even if they don't make it into the finished work in full because that way when you write *about* those things you will know what you're doing and be better at conveying it to the reader. All of these also serve the purpose of a) teaching you not to infodump, the thing that kills fantasy settings and b) keeping you writing rather than just planning out your setting forever, because with epic fantasy it's very easy to fall into the trap of agonizing over maps and geopolitics and so on to the point where you never write a word of the actual narrative. Remember, you can always go back and change things, but only if you've already got something on the page

[Anonymous No.22828296]

>>22825454
Some words should be changed. I'm feeling 20 year old, and he wouldn't use "partook", just write, "some days, when drunk from vodka,..."

The hardest thing is trying to match the 1st person voice with the age of the character.

[Anonymous No.22828498]

>>22826601
>English doesn't use the pluperfect subjunctive
False. And the rest is obvious bait too.

[Anonymous No.22828663]

My story contains the names of a few real people (all dead), the names of some famous fictional characters, and the titles of some famous movies. That's not going to be a copyright problem, is it? I just mention them a few times in passing; I'm not really making any serious references.

[Anonymous No.22828851]

Migrate to Discord. Many have original true chan moderators and original true chan admin. The real vibes and population is over there. Many Discord groups are peak 4chan with higher population than peak 4chan. Generacy, memes, feels, community, friendship, real talk, real world government.
Uhhh goodder generacy.

Also shout out to Twitter etc.
An MVP.

Vgh

[Anonymous No.22829145]

>>22828663
It would be a trademark problem, not a copyright problem. And we are not lawyers. Personally, I try to use Google to figure out if the names I pick match anyone vaguely well-known, or for minor characters, I don't mention a last name.

[Anonymous No.22829313]

>>22828663
It shouldn't be a problem. As long as you aren't talking shit about them, that is.

[Anonymous No.22829761]

>>22822256
Huh, but I literally just started reading the?

[Anonymous No.22829880]

>>22829761
I'm not gonna stop posting for a while yet. What do you think about it?

[Anonymous No.22830011]

What should I do for character creation?

I had the idea down for a scientist and little kid, about 12 years old, and that’s just about it. Idk what to do. Feel like I need to work on them but idk how, I don’t got a story for them, and even then I only imagine them interacting with other people’s characters. I need something or somebody for my guide to get my shit straight.

[Anonymous No.22830015]

Subverting expectations is fun because you have to think of a way to do it in a way that's a genuinely pleasant surprise. Make the reader think you're going to do something cliché and done-to-death (The big teamup, twist villains, etc.)
Only to do shit like having the MC be maimed, the big hulking "Simple" guy to use a really technical fighting style, actions having actual consequences, the villain being the straight-up villain, etc.

[Anonymous No.22830101]

Thinking about having my female main character's being molested by her uncle as one the reasons she attempted suicide. It happened prior to the story though so I'm not writing it in a degenerate way. Is this something I can be canceled for?

[Anonymous No.22830103]

>>22830101
Don't frame rape as fetishistic, frame it as fucked up.
Rape can also be symbolic, as in my story, our protagonist's loss of his left forearm is framed like rape because it gets torn off by a lunatic

[Anonymous No.22830124]

>>22830103
Yeah, the molestation is generally viewed as a terrible experience that goes on to haunt the protagonist throughout the story, giving her a phobia for human contact. She also only hints at the molestation in her inner monologue and never states outright what really happened.

[Anonymous No.22830137]

>>22830011
I’m a newbie with autism, so please understand I’m a wreck

[Anonymous No.22830161]

How do I find cool quotes to use as epigrams?
Hard mode: not reading widely.

[Anonymous No.22830257]

>>22830124
I mean, watch this. This is how our hero lost his arm

>Everything slows down, to the point where it feels like seconds are hours I can perceive the individual raindrops surrounding us.
>And in that instant, I see and feel everything.
>The well-trimmed grass rapidly approaching. Father Kelly, barely conscious and beaten to a pulp in the mud, reaching out to me. And of course, my adversary. Fear, rage, and despair all welled up within me at the sight of him.
>The crushing pressure on my left wrist. The blood surging through my ocular veins. The wind blowing against my chest as I’m swung through the air. And of course, the thunderous pain of the bones in my left forearm splintering like a log in a hydraulic press, along with the skin, muscle, and veins ripping away like a turkey leg. I’d scream if I had the strength to do so at the moment.
>Despite my perception being heightened by this, I am not calm. It is only prolonging the horror. This was my one chance to beat this guy and I blew it. Did I even blow it or was he just too strong to begin with? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’ll never forget this for the rest of my life. Assuming I even have one after this.

[Anonymous No.22830282]

>>22830257
Oh, and one more thing. You know the whole “Realistic Panic Attack” shit that happens all the time now? I don’t do that. When he sees the fucker who ripped off his arm 2 years ago, he doesn’t feel fear. All he thinks is, well, this

>The cloak flies through the air, and upon seeing who it belonged to, I can safely say that my expectations were proven wrong.
>I was constantly dreading the day I would see him again. I knew that when he showed up to fight me once more, I’d panic. I’d freeze up. There would be no bravery, no vigor, no nothing.
>But now that he’s actually here, albeit not right in front of me, an emotion surges within me. One I didn’t expect to feel in a scenario like this:
>Hate.
>I was expecting fear but now every fiber of my being wants to jump into that arena and kill him. Not have a satisfying fight with him, I want to one-sidedly slaughter him for what he did to me.
>I want him to feel the same fear I did that day. I want to snap his neck, break his jaw, and destroy his body as thoroughly as I can
>I hunch over from my spot in the bleachers and stare daggers at him. He probably doesn’t see me yet, as he’s too focused on his current prey. Yet the other people absolutely do see me. They feel me, they notice the hatred I emanate, and then starting to get up and sit further away from me proves that.
(After the fight)
>So it’s decided. I’m going to tear through this bracket and kill that monster. No matter the cost.

[Anonymous No.22830429]

>>22830015
I had my MC befriend a clearly creepy weirdo.
My MC, though not deformed, was also someone who got unfairly judged for what he was and not who he was, so he reused to see all of the red flags.
But for a time, it did look like he really was still being unfairly judged, since no matter who dug into the guy, they couldn't find anything that pointed to him actually being evil that couldn't be explained in a mundane way.
>Why can't we find any of his old staff?
>Because there isn't a system to actually track anyone outside of the nobility since nobody cares about peasants when they move.
>Why did his father disappear without a trace and all of his brothers died?
>All of them were soldiers, and his father had certain enemies who might've wanted him gone.
>Why was he researching blood magic?
>My MC does the same stuff, but with souls, yet because he isn't ugly and he makes useful things, people accept him.
>Why does he constantly feel like he is lying to the MC who has empathy?
>He's just so nervous at all times that he can't be read at all.
Ultimately, he did end up being a bad guy, and perhaps that was too clear in narration for this to real be a subversion.
>>22830101
I've only got a small audience, but only in one case did I have any complaints about the way I talked about rape.
It may also be the first time that I ever wrote about it. The complaint was that it did some off as the wrong kind of creepy, like it was too pornographic, which I can see in hindsight.
I think it was in how I described the girl, using the term budding breasts set off alarm bells.
Perhaps if she was actually raped it would be worse, but instead the rapist gets killed in self-defense.
>>22830011
Thinking about how they would be around other characters is actually not a bad idea, since those others already have set morals and ideas about who they are in their own media, so it lets you bounce yours off of them.
Any thought that you have isn't really real until acted upon, and once written, how you feel about certain aspects of your character may change and evolve.
Ultimately, think about what they are, how they were raised, their age, their sex, and what they're in your story for.
People say to write blank slates, ignoring male or female, but that is a bad idea, and makes your characters come off as boring.

[Anonymous No.22830568]

[Anonymous No.22830573]

>>22830568
This isn't writing, this is just someone's fucked up fetish art.

[Anonymous No.22830577]

[Anonymous No.22830587]

[Anonymous No.22830632]

[Anonymous No.22830778]

>>22822566

>derails flow of dialogue to inject exposition about how Soran was orphaned by horses

>Presumably traumatized from horse orphan experience

>Still rides a horse

What was the point of introducing that

[Anonymous No.22830863]

>>22830161
Goodreads has a quotes section. Just look for them by topic and find quotes that arent terrible.

[Anonymous No.22830881]

>>22830282
I think it'd be cool if this is how I depicted the protagonist when he's fighting "In the moment" so to speak. He doesn't focus on anything besides thinking about his fight
>Duck his swipe, quick straight right to the gut.
>Just knocked the wind out of him and- Wait he's recovered
>Didn't see that knee counter coming, try to block
>That was a knee to my jaw, turn with the hit NOW
>Overhand hammerfist coming my way, right hand, this is what he wanted
>Dodge, move back, recollect
And THEN he starts thinking more eloquently
>That would've given me a concussion. I need to stay on my feet with this guy. He bounces back easily and constantly goes for the head. Thankfully he's not armed because I've heard the stories of what he does in a no-holds barred street fight
>What are my options? I have the edge in physical strength and martial skill, but this guy fights with no rules or holds barred. If he had a weapon he'd use it right now. I need to avoid taking the full brunt of his attacks somehow. He's clearly experienced in fights, so he's likely to see through any tricks
>Should I just brute force this and hope for the best?.... No, that's an awful idea. It'd be best if I tried to land a clean shin kick.
>So the plan is to focus his guard and attention elsewhere before hitting him in the side with my shin
>That should work. Let's do this

[Anonymous No.22830927]

>>22830881
It's a decent abstraction I guess. If you haven't been in fights, maybe think of what goes through your head in a competitive video game, which is pretty similar as real time direct contest.

>Come on come on
>YES got you now fucker
>Fuck I fucking fucked up a golden opportunity
>oh no you don't that won't work on me
>haha get fucked
>Next time I need to pull the trigger earlier
>You bitch fuck you fuck you
>FUCK how does he keep doing that?
etc

You don't really get to have proper thoughts in a fight unless there's a lull like if you get away and are out of range for a while. You could add in the more complex thoughts as advice shouted into the ring by other characters watching.

[Anonymous No.22831068]

>>22830927
I guess that makes sense. I just want the reader to be able to make at least some sense of what they're doing

[Anonymous No.22831167]

>>22831068
It's very hard to describe something that chaotic in real time while keeping things clear. Most fight descriptions I've heard or read are after the fact recollections with a very different tone.
Obviously it requires some degree of abstraction to be at all readable, which I think the model you posted does somewhat successfully. You need to keep things feeling dangerous so short, sharp sentences are good.

[Anonymous No.22831418]

>>22831167
For what it's worth I can describe slower paced fights from an outside perspective.
I also go against a huge martial arts story clichés by having the main character not be "Best at everything" or even a jack of all stats.
As a Nak Muay, he struggles greatly with grappling techniques and dodging to a lesser extent. He's also down an arm so add that onto the shit he has to deal with.

[Anonymous No.22831658]

>>22829313
Nah, it's just that one of my characters compares his life with that of a few characters and actors from movies. He's basically just saying how boring his life is.
It also mentions that he wants to play a famous video game.

[Anonymous No.22831691]

>>22827996
>>22828189
>>22828253
Absolutely great advice, particularly with the flash fiction thing, I'm starting today. Thank you so much Anon.

[Anonymous No.22831748]

>>22828189
I would tell anyone wanting to improve their writing to practice essays. Pick a topic, whatever topic, and a point you want to argue, and fire away. It has you think about how you introduce your topic, how to set up arguments, how to pick relevant information to back it up, it gets you to consider opposing points of view, and how to wrap things up. All critically important skills also in writing fiction.

Normal people learn these things at school, but it seems nobody in these threads went to school. Thankfully, it's never too late to get started and learn.

[Anonymous No.22831975]

>>22830429
Alright:
>12 Yo Old/Kid OC
I say he could be a nomad/lost homeless person? He ain't raised a bit right, got a bit of an education issue. He's a male, 12 obivously. And I believe he could be somebody wanted to be a adventurer/hero? But it feels cliche.
With the blank slate, that's good, and I think though that it would be problematic if I made him nervous or kinda just isolation by himself? I don't know.

Idk for the scientist, but I feel he could have issues. or something.

[Anonymous No.22832251]

>>22829880
I'm five chapters in and so far it's good, you're not afraid of long sentences and the prose isn't conventional high-school level English. The only shortfall I could see with the setting is it being an aimless journey through a myriad arcs with no clear ending in sight and the limited upward mobility of a main character who is a slave due to her race, but that might change in the future. 200 or so people reading along on average isn't really a failure when you take into account the tags/genres that you chose as your first three and that most other works with a similar amount of views have around the same number of average viewers and followers. I'd need to read more to really grasp where it's going exactly but given the tags/genres and the cover I'd say that you should probably consider whether your story is meant for men, women or everyone. Naturally from a fantasy standpoint it's for everyone but drama doesn't usually sell with males and shoujo ai is the same for females. Can you have a really good fantasy story that does all of the above? Absolutely. Can it be for all audiences? Nope.
Unless you want to start posting in the forums and all that I'd suggest just reconsidering the tags/genres and aiming them at your target audience, even if that means removing some of them.

[Anonymous No.22832438]

>>22830778
Since posting, I have worked on it a lot more. Like I initially said, it was the very first draft. I have moved things around.

But to answer your question, one aspect that creates tension through out the story is Soran's conflicting feelings of disgust and his reliance on a horse.

[Anonymous No.22832451]

[Anonymous No.22832585]

>>22828296
He's in his 20s but a pretentious little faggot who likes to use big words and sound smart, which is what I was going for and hope will become more evident as the story progresses. But I'll definitely be mindful of what you say, thanks anon

[Anonymous No.22832712]

>>22832451
Kek, the fanfiction part got me
>>22832251
Thank you anon, problem is I mostly just write what I want to write I'm not exactly sure how to aim to please men or women more. But the way I see it, it's mostly drama and sappy romance so it should fit better with what most women read, but then again it's a fantasy story with lots of tradionally masculine themes like honor and self searching journey. I also have no idea what to do with the tags, I just slapped on whatever seemed fit

[Anonymous No.22832798]

>>22832438

>writes entire paragraph on how character’s family is gruesomely flattened by a speeding Honda Civic

>how does this affect the story?

>character incessantly sobs melodramatically about how whatever is going on would be so much better if he wasn’t inside a Honda Civic

>still drives a Honda Civic

[Anonymous No.22832882]

>>22832798
If a Honda Civic got into a collision with a dog, it'd lose. There's no way it'd mow down an entire family.

[Anonymous No.22833018]

>>22827600
You won't get much in the way of reviews or feedback, but, it does the job if you want to post somewhere.

[Anonymous No.22833121]

How should I upload something? Pastebin is awful.

[Anonymous No.22833145]

>>22833121
I've seen people here use pastes.io instead

[Anonymous No.22833148]

>>22832451
I only write fanfic if I see potential in the setting

[Anonymous No.22833149]

>>22833121
just to get some feedback? make a pdf then catbox.moe

[Anonymous No.22833222]

Do you guys have any mags that publish short horror stories? There's Weird Horror Mag and Occult Detective Mag, but those are a bit more specific I think

[Anonymous No.22833638]

>>22830011
Imagine a tree. Start with a trunk - what is the big idea for your character? What is he or she? Now imagine that this tree has branches. What does he or she do for a living? What does he or she do for leisure? Who does he or she associate with in professional settings? What about who he or she is friends with? Who is related to your character?

Now imagine that there are leaves that come off of those branches. What are your character's private opinions? What do he or she think about the people he or she knows, the things that he or she does, the world that he or she lives in?

In the end of everything though, this tree lives to reproduce. Let's say that this tree grows flowers. What are flowers for? Catching pollen. This is conflict. How could every opinion, every friend, every interest of your character lead him or her into conflict?

When a flower catches pollen, that leads to fruit. Delicious, juicy fruit. This is story. This is why you grow this tree in your orchard of stories. Every aspect of your character is meant to lead into conflict. Every conflict is meant to generate a story in every complete arc from a full novel down to a single scene.

There is one more layer to the tree though: the roots. This anchors the tree and gathers nutrients from the soil that it grows in. Of course this is your character's backstory. No one that they know and nothing that he or she does or think comes from nowhere. Everything has a cause. Everything has a reason for being.

[Anonymous No.22833728]

>>22833638
This misses the most important part:what is the characters root. The most important piece of any character is their goal, their impetus, their raison d'etre, that is, their reason for existence. What does that character want more than anything, why do they even get up in the morning?

Once that has been determined you can continue with the tree analogy and fill in history and other details, but everything will stem or feed into that main desire.

[Anonymous No.22833748]

How do you guys write antagonists/villains and conflicts. I really struggle to create them and 90% of the stories I write have basically no villainous characters/actively malicious characters/deep conflict. and when I do write one I struggle. for example for villianist antagonist Its challenging to find a proper motivation for them to be plasteel assholes to the protagonist and co beyond "These fucks are in my way" I suppose that is enough though but it feels week. Or the conflict is generally weak mostly basing on characters butting heads a little bit, resolving their issues maybe after punching each other for a bit then thats it which isn't super interesting

[Anonymous No.22833799]

>>22833748
It really depends on the story, the heroes, the form of your story, etc. But let's give it a try.

> Villains
You need a hero first. The hero must stand for something moral. The quickest is to look at the hero as someone looking out for the prosperity and happiness of the world around him or herself. Therefore, the villain is someone who threatens that by imposing their will upon others in a way that will be a detriment to their happiness and prosperity.

Figure out what values are at the heart of your story. Make a hero fight for that. Make a villain who promises to destroy it.

> Conflict
This happens when people do not get what they want and so they do something about it. The villain wants something, steps on the innocent to get it, and the hero stops the villain. What did the villain want in the first place that led them to pursue it though? Dig deeper. Does the villain have something moral or ethical on their side that the hero must overcome within him or herself?

> Actually Writing the Villain
Does your villain have their own moral and ethical standards? Are you aware of the "Imp of the Perverse?" Are you interested in the actions of real life evil people? Look at the villain as a relief valve on all of your deepest, darkest thoughts. You can pour them into the villain. You can always revise things in future drafts.

Remember: the villain wants something and will step on people to get it. Let him or her do what it takes that you yourself would never do because you are a decent person.

Make people and the world react to your villain's actions. Cause and effect. Action and reaction. Think of a game of tennis. Villain acts, hero reacts, villain reacts, hero reacts, villain reacts, and so on.

The villain is almost always the one who sets the stage for the actual story to happen. Your villain might not be who sets events into motion but the story usually traces back to your villain at some point.

When the villain is stopped, what is learned? What was the lesson needed to give the hero what they needed to stop the villain? How can a reader relate to that? What is the takeaway?

[Anonymous No.22833817]

>>22832585
If you do this, make sure the protag uses big words incorrectly

[Anonymous No.22833860]

>>22833748
I find most interesting villains are people who share the MC's goals and agree on many things, and they might even start out as friends. But then they have this one slight but irreconcilable difference that forces them against each other. Everyone can go like, I get where you're coming from and even sympathize, but that's just wrong. Then it's not only the hero who draws in the readers, but the villain too, people will want to see what he does and how far he succeeds with his plans, instead of being all, "would you please die already".

[Anonymous No.22834114]

I can start a story but that's about all I can do. I write beginnings and then I drop it cause I have nowhere to go with it.

[Anonymous No.22834173]

>>22834114
If this is a problem, you might want to decide on an ending before you start.

[Anonymous No.22834216]

>>22832882
Are you a time traveller from the 80's. A civic is basically a medium sized family car nowadays.

>>22833638
How do the bees fit into all of this?

[Anonymous No.22834276]

>>22833799
This is like a guide to making your protagonist flat and reactive and your antagonist shallow and bland. Comic book writing 101.

[Anonymous No.22834413]

Gabriel Garcia Marquez once wrote that a brothel in the morning was the closest thing to paradise, but I preferred it at around eleven in the evening on a weekday. There was less traffic, so it was more relaxing, and it seemed less suspicious to sit in my car and sip a few beers on the street before and after going in. Not to mention the required planning on a Friday or Saturday meant booking early in the morning, or sometimes, even days in advance, depending on the companion of my choosing and her current popularity. Regardless, I liked organizing these types of escapades last minute, usually right before leaving my apartment or the office.
I had only recently started my new job as a Management Consulting when I began to frequent such establishments. Hours of spreadsheet analysis and aligning PowerPoints didn’t do much to increase my libido, but it did pay well. The first month at my job, had proved rather lackluster in terms of potential relationships. I had tried striking up a few conversations with some female consultants but quickly learned that my lack of five-year plan was a huge turn-off. In my defense, I also didn’t care about their five-year plan, to move from Consultant to Senior Consultant, Change Management. I still don’t.
So, I stopped trying to chat up the women during the in-office, Friday happy hours, but the conversation with the rest of the team was equally disappointing. I could only stand so much conversation about trips to California, or agreement about the importance of gun control. I tried to talk about our preferred movies or reading habits on one occasion, and the eyes of one Consultant lit up. His name was Sam, and he had two international master’s degrees. “I love reading,” he said. For a moment I was hopeful, that the façade of one-hundred percent personal productivity would collapse. “I’ve been reading, ‘Finding my why’, a book about developing strategic objectives in our personal and private lives, and I just finished ‘Getting to Yes’, about negotiation.” I asked Sam if he liked any fiction and he said that he didn’t see the point of it. So, I humored him for a bout thirty minutes, went back to my desk, got my jacket and computer, and left. On the way out I stole his wireless mouse.
It was long before I developed such a strong opinion of whorehouse schedules, when on exactly the fifth Friday of my newfound employment, I rewarded myself with my very first trip to the local brothel. Whore mongering, I thought to myself, at least for the men of my generation, is a lost art. My Portuguese uncle back home had schooled me to game one evening when my father had left to go buy a bottle of wine. Well, he had at least let me know the protocol. Cash in an envelope. Negotiate in the room. Take a shower before.

[Anonymous No.22834416]

>>22834413
It was all for nothing, because when I was buzzed into the building, which had no signs, heavily tinted windows and was in the industrial part of town, the classiness of the lobby shocked me. I was offered water and had my choice of sparkling or flat. Classy. I didn’t have time to dwell on the tasteful water feature in the corner, or the Nordic aesthetic, but I was certain that they had a pro put that together. One of the girls must have been paying her way through decorating school or at the very least she must have a real flair for it, I thought.
While I would like to share the details of my first evening with the same detail that I recall from my first afternoon of Consulting work, or the numerous case studies I prepared for Partners while I was going through the hiring process, it escapes me. The nice overweight receptionist asked for my name, let me into a dim room, and as the door closed, I swear she said, “Happy fucking.” It didn’t matter because the door was already shut when thanked her. I was embarrassed, but I didn't know why. It could have been worse. I could have mistaken her for a waitress and responded with “you too”. Luckily for me, I was at least still cognizant enough to avoid that faux pas. “God that would be embarrassing” I thought as I put down the bottle of San Pellegrino and jumped in the shower. It hadn’t been more than thirty seconds before my companion for the next hour walked in. I was still lathering myself up with soap, hammer out. After that, the details become a bit hazy. I am, however, certain that I didn’t negotiate. It was only after a few more visits that I learned that to improve my bargaining position, the best strategy was to ensure both members were fully clothed, or at least that she was. I learned that the impact of my nudity was almost never as powerful of a bargaining chip for me as it was for my evening dance partner. Years later I checked, in the aisles of the local library and I confirmed that there was no chapter on prostitute negotiation in Sam’s favourite book. Despite the lack of details that I can remember from my first evening of professional companionship, I am quite sure I enjoyed it, because I went back two more times that week, and every week after that.
When I left the room that first night, I practically floated out of the Icelandic spa, the black pavement was glistening in the moonlight. It must have rained while I was inside, and the air was fresh. Despite the industrial surroundings, there were trees lining the street, and the green grass that separated the parking lot from boulevard smelled freshly cut and the fragrance rejuvenated me as I walked to my car, which was parked strategically three blocks away.

[Anonymous No.22834419]

>>22834416
After my first rendez-vous I never bothered to hide my vehicle. I was not concerned about the taboo associated with my weekly visits. In my university days, it all seemed so sinister. One side of the Liberal Arts department was strongly in favour, “Sex Work was real work!” How could I forget? It rhymed with the other line in their chant, which was the first line, repeated again. The other side of campus, the future Prime Ministers in the Conservative Students Association were strongly against the sale of sex and had deemed it disgusting, and anyone who participated as unmitigated losers. I always thought that was a strong position coming from adult men with such an affinity for khaki shorts. I had the impression that this topic was monumentally important, and after careful first-person research, I was sure that neither side had ever stepped foot in such an establishment. I sure didn’t feel like a loser, unless a loser feels fully satisfied, in which case, I wouldn’t mind the label.
And while I certainly never mentioned it to anyone explicitly and I never once felt the shame that I thought I would have, on one occasion I did take too many liberties and made the leap to mix my social agenda with my professional ambitions. One evening on a dark afternoon in December, now nearly six-months into my employment, while getting dressed in front of one the girls with whom I had become a regular, Victoria, I believe her fake-name was. I asked if she would like to accompany me to a work event. It was boring enough to go alone, and this Christmas party was one which we were expected to have a plus-one. Besides, I thought that having a date may allow me some important social capital that would be beneficial in my continued ascendance to the role of Senior Consultant. I had written that out as an immediate goal in my five-year plan, that I developed in tandem with my immediate manager. I told him one day I would like to make Partner. It seemed like the mature thing to do at least in the moment. Victoria, I thought, was a perfect candidate. While our visits were mostly professional, we had decent rapport, and her breast implants were well done. She could have went bigger she told me, but was concerned about back problems that her other colleagues sometimes complained about and she didn’t want to go back to the Dominican Republic. It wasn’t difficult to convince her to be my date. Besides, I told her, the booze would be free.

[Anonymous No.22834422]

>>22834419
She loved the idea of a fancy office party, so after a trip to her apartment, so that she could get changed into something more appropriate, we were in my car and on our way. In my eyes the evening went well. It was snowing gently downtown when we arrived, and Victoria really did look beautiful during the elevator ride up to the office. When we put away our coats and entered the office lobby, I was surprised that most of the women who I had tried hitting on six-months prior were there with-out dates. We mingled a bit, and I drank about four scotch and sodas. Everyone seemed very pleased to meet Victoria and after about two hours, I pulled Victoria into a meeting room. She asked if I wanted to shag there, but after careful consideration, I thought it would be better to just go to my apartment. On the way out I stopped by the receptionist’s desk to steal a bottle of red wine. I looked through the drawers for a bottle opener but to no avail. I put the bottle in Victoria’s purse and went around to everyone to say goodbye. Everyone was sad to see us leave so early, but very happy that we made it.
On our way out of the party I stopped at my desk to grab my computer and some other things I may need during the few days the office would be closed for the holiday season and I saw a beautiful brand-new stapler. I thought about stealing it, but Victoria called for me saying that she was cold, and she wanted to go home, so we left with just a bottle of wine and of course, the mug and chocolate that was gifted to me by the office, which I promptly regifted to Victoria, the prostitute.
I was shocked when one week later, the first day back in the New Year, an email was sent office-wide reminding all employees and their significant others to dress appropriately for all future social gatherings, both in and out of the office. I was confident that this email was directed at me, and more specifically Victoria. Her outfit was entirely conservative, it’s not her fault that the surgeon did such a tasteful job given the enhancements to her breasts. I did think the work on her butt was a bit extravagant, but then again, even I was willing to pay extra for the privilege of it.
After that, I thought, if the firm was to judge any of my future dates, they didn’t deserve their company. It would be cheaper for me that way anyways. When I’m a Partner, I’d bring any one to the office that I wanted. Breast cup size be damned. And despite the virtual judgment I received in my email inbox that morning, I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that Victoria or any of her colleagues were somehow less corporate, or appropriate for an office environment. I mean, numbers don't lie, and I wouldn’t argue with them, how could I? Their hours were being billed at a rate higher than the most Senior Partners at my firm, and they never even had to look at a PowerPoint.

[Anonymous No.22834425]

>>22834422
After the evening with Victoria, my evening trips would become one of the only sources of pleasure or excitement in my life. Each passing day at the office, or at my desk from home passed longer and longer. I checked LinkedIn religiously and made mental notes of my university colleagues that I passed on the professional ladder, but more often those that passed me. The greyness and sterility of my office, and my desk at home were investments I said. When in eight years, at the age of 36, and Partner, my life would truly begin.
I really believed that for the next few months until one day I was called into my partner’s office. It was early on a Monday morning, and the meeting had been booked for two weeks now. There was nothing suspicious about it, until I walked in and saw the head of Human Resources. She was young, slim, and I recalled one of the only ones to have a date at the Christmas party. She fired me one week shy of completing my one-year probationary period. I learned later that there was a legal advantage to doing so, and it also meant they didn’t need to pay me severance.
The Human Resource lady made a great show to appear empathetic. She took me through all the steps and said that I might be emotional and that losing one’s job can be hard on the whole family. I stopped her for a moment to check my cell phone, which my office had been paying for, to send a text message. “Are you telling Victoria?” she asked. “How is she?” I told her she was great and that we just moved in together and that she would be really upset about the news. Truth be told I hadn’t seen Victoria very much because she had been working weekends as of late. I was escorted to my desk to pack up my things. As I put the few personal items I had into my bag, I really felt okay, until a sinking feeling hit me in my gut. I was overcome with dread and regret. Despite the lack of passion I had for the job, I had given over sixty hours a week to them for the last year. The hours agonizing over excel sheets and PowerPoint presentations to please clients were all for nothing. My plans of making Partner one day were ripped from me, and it was all sinking in. I was distraught and all I could about, as I walked on to that sunny downtown sidewalk, with a half full box of papers, pens and coffee mugs, was that I definitely should have stolen way more shit.

[Anonymous No.22834429]

>>22834413
>>22834416
>>22834419
>>22834422
>>22834425
What do you guys think of my short story?

Sorry for the shitty formatting. I tried posting it on Pastebin, but I could only post it as a private paste.

[Anonymous No.22834648]

>>22834429
We should start including a guide to excerpt posting options in the OP of these threads.

As for the story:

It kind of goes nowhere. I do dig the humdrum verisimilitude and I liked the use of stilted corporate-esque phrasing when appropriate eg this line:
>social capital that would be beneficial in my continued ascendance to the role of Senior Consultant
It has a dry British wit to it. I think the proper grammar would be beneficial to my ascendance though.

On a technical level, there are definitely points where your wording is stiff:
>depending on the companion of my choosing and her current popularity
>Luckily for me, I was at least still cognizant enough to avoid that faux pas
>Despite the lack of details that I can remember from my first evening of professional companionship
>It rhymed with the other line in their chant, which was the first line, repeated again

It may be boring and trite, but "read it aloud as you edit" is sound advice for this kind of thing

There are also a few typos and poorly structured sentences which lead me to think this hasn't seen much or any proofreading
>as a Management Consulting
>when thanked her
>share the details of my first evening with the same detail

Also a minor, pedantic, note. A wine bottle needs a corkscrew to open, which is sometimes but not necessarily part of a bottle opener. I was genuinely confused when I read it and had to double back over the sentence.

Halfway competently written and possessing a certain flair but overall too boring/10

[Anonymous No.22834979]

>>22834413
>>22834416
>>22834419
>>22834422
>>22834425
>>22834429

[Anonymous No.22835011]

Is there anything stopping me from using "sent a snap" in my story? I don't think it's in the dictionary the way "tweet" is (good job Elon lmao)

[Anonymous No.22835121]

>>22819082
What do you think of alternating storylines, where it focuses on two different characters? I've seen this in thrillers a lot, especially if the alternate chapters tell something in the past.

[Anonymous No.22835131]

>>22835011
only that it may end up feeling dated when snapchat gets abandoned in favor of the next platform within ~5 years - or some retard like Elon decides he doesn't like the brand he bought (wtf?) and changes the name. something like "posted" would be more universal

[Anonymous No.22835146]

>>22835011
>word has to be in the dictionary
what are you scared will happen

[Anonymous No.22835152]

>>22835121
I am doing this right now.
It really just depends on execution, because if the two storylines end up too disconnected it feels like you are trying to slap two stories into one instead of a single story that is being fleshed out by two views.
That is my view of it at least, and I can only think of one that actually annoyed me even if it did end up being somewhat interesting.

[Anonymous No.22835158]

>>22835121
Very cool but I think it requires a higher skill level. Changing the "voice" for the alternate chapters and effectively writing two parallel and complimenting stories is actually pretty hard.

[Anonymous No.22835185]

>>22835158
I've read some pretty poorly-written thrillers that are all over the place.
Example 1: Snippets of informing "the boss" of changes in the case. Boss' identity not revealed, though the scene is not with other characters (bad)
Example 2: Switching between 1st person (narrator, present) and 3rd person (deuterogonist, past). Gets weird when time moves forward to the present and the narrator is referred to in the first person. (acceptable)
Example 3: Two different perspectives of third person, ends when deuterogonist drops out of the picture and is eventually killed by the protagonist (also acceptable, found deuterogonist insufferable and markedly improved my enjoyment and rating of the book when she gets shot in the head).

[Anonymous No.22835246]

>>22834648
>There are also a few typos and poorly structured sentences which lead me to think this hasn't seen much or any proofreading

Yea I think I should have given it a few days before proofreading, I re-read it twice and still missed so much shit

Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous No.22835339]

>>22828189
Fan fiction isn't necessarily good as practice but it's possible to have all of those things. You can do whatever you want.

[Anonymous No.22835394]

I’m currently balls deep into writing a mystery story, and while I have the whole thing planned out, I’m paranoid that the solution to the mystery might be too obvious to some. I’ve come up with a bunch of red herrings, but I’ve also got foreshadowing towards the actual answer to the mystery throughout the story. Only trouble is that I’m worried my foreshadowing might be too obvious.

Basically I’m trying to figure out where the line between a subtle hint and giving too much away too soon is. I want to give me readers that “Holy shit, how did I not guess that sooner?” moment when the big reveal finally drops. My worst fear is having their reaction to the reveal being “that was too obvious” or “that was an asspull”.

Can anyone give me some advice here on how to hint things in the plot without giving too much away?

[Anonymous No.22835424]

>>22835146
>what are you scared will happen
corpo overlords

>>22835131
very valid point, but it is set in 2015 and I want the world around the characters to reflect that, so I might keep it as is but will take your input into consideration

[Anonymous No.22835438]

>>22835394
There are no universal rules anyone can give you. It depends entirely on your story and writing. Mystery buffs know to expect certain things and are likely to guess what the deal is no matter how subtly you play it. However, take solace in knowing the vast majority of readers are mouthbreathing idiots who won't get it until you spoonfeed them every answer in plain text and probably not even then.

[Anonymous No.22835484]

Are any of you in writing groups? If so, how do you tolerate the rampant faggotry? I keep getting “suggestions” (sometimes rather forcefully) to include more gay elements in my story. “Why are you limiting this boy to only being interested in girls? How come you didn’t consider the possibility of a romance between these two women?” I never tell these people to cut out the gay shit when they prattle on about all the queer romances in their stories, so why is it okay for them to try and force this stuff into mine?
Also, every time there’s an action sequence where a woman gets hurt, they tell me I needed to have trigger warnings and ask that I change the fight to be less problematic. They never bring this up in a fight where the woman wins handily; only if she meets her match.

[Anonymous No.22835622]

>>22835484
>I keep getting “suggestions” (sometimes rather forcefully) to include more gay elements in my story.
Tell them that in the backstory all faggots were slaughtered in the chain of events that is only referred to as "smoking the fags".

[Anonymous No.22835626]

>>22835484
Just don't expect your faggy fag group to eat up your trashy battle anime writing. Learn to choose your audience.

[Anonymous No.22835656]

>>22835484
There really needs to be a way to find non-pozzed writer friends

[Anonymous No.22835702]

>>22835394
Test it against sample readers who you consider savvy, average, and retarded.

[Anonymous No.22835758]

I know writers who use subtext. They're all cowards.

[Anonymous No.22835768]

Tell me a polemical you'd like to see written against someone you hate, I'll write it and publish it next week.

[Anonymous No.22835837]

wtf do you even do with short stories these days?
I'm sure there's sites built around them, but I don't know what they are

[Anonymous No.22835854]

I wish there could be a hurt box full of dad energy that beats your ass until you make something good, but I know it'll just become an endless shitfest that won't let people know they actually did good

[Anonymous No.22835888]

>>22835854
I thought that’s what destructive writing on Reddit was for. They’re aggressively nitpicky, like here, but actually give advice and encouragement, unlike here.

[Anonymous No.22835963]

can i talk to Travis? :)

[Anonymous No.22835980]

>>22835768
MLK

[Anonymous No.22836140]

>>22835837
isn't royal road decently popular? publish there like once a week or some shit to build a base of followers, then make a patreon with more stories locked behind it, and then finally release a complete collection on amazon

[Anonymous No.22836240]

>>22836140
Yeah, posting short stories to Royal Road and expecting to get followers, much less paying patrons, is a pretty hilarious suggestion. Literally nobody is going to RR for short story collections. Like, possibly not a single person on the planet.

[Anonymous No.22836380]

>>22835484
I was only once given a polite suggestion for a trigger warning, and it was the aftermath of a torture scene.
I did actually add the warning, but there is only one more time that I did add one and that was without being asked.
Honestly I think I've written worse things than that little bit of torture without the warning, but perhaps their issue was more that it was specifically torture and not a fight.

[Anonymous No.22836419]

>>22835837
Reddit has several short-story-oriented subs. https://reddit.com/r/nosleep/wiki/similarsubreddits is a good place to start.

[Anonymous No.22836435]

>>22835484
Stop joining writing groups with women

[Anonymous No.22836574]

How do I do at pretty lads?

I see a sihouellete of a person standing in the middle of a window frame, I can't make out anything behind it because it is too dark and viscous, the face is blank and has no visible exlressions but I feel like it is overpowering with emotions as if I am caught up in a maelstrom I can't swim away from that is only getting stronger, and stronger. I want to break eye contact and run as far as I can but my legs won't move or bulge.

[Anonymous No.22836579]

>>22834276
Yet you offer nothing better.

[Anonymous No.22836605]

Made this for another thread asking for a 10 sentence alien invasion story, but it got archived before I could post it. I need more than 10 sentences to get something going, but this was all my brain could manage at the time.


The blue pigs thrust their prows into rusting fruits five times before noon. A few days prior, they'd been fed the corpse of—something. His son Luke had not yet the wits to confess what, but should the shotgun tanline above the mantle serve as any indication it was no bantam quarry. Whatever the case, he was now a willing accomplice. Such is the duty of fathers, he thought. Following the incident, he hauled the pigs from the barn to the cellar, but despite the time spent there and their sudden increase in appetite, they left no manure, bones, or anything. Meanwhile, Luke remained bedridden and would not wake, leaving him to do all he could on his own. The only relief to be had now came in the form of his daughter's claps and giggles as she sat on his bouncing knee, but even this was short-lived. The pigs scratched at the basement door again.

[Anonymous No.22836609]

>>22834276
> protagonist
> antagonist
You don't even know the definition of "villain" shut up.

[Anonymous No.22836681]

>>22835837
Substack (to an extent) or actual journals from what I've seen. Look up some Pushcart winners from recent years, or Poets & Writers has a little search engine.

[Anonymous No.22836752]

>>22835484
why the fuck are there even sensitivity readers anyways?

[Anonymous No.22836810]

>>22819082
How do I capture the dark surreal vibe of those mature early 2000s animes in writing? Specifically I want my work to have a similar feel to the 2001 Hellsing anime (not the 2006 one, that one is wildly different) in terms of tone and atmosphere.

I can't really pin anything down apart from it being dark (literally and metaphorically), surreal, and dated.

[Anonymous No.22836876]

>>22836435
based

[Anonymous No.22836887]

>>22836752
because the modern world is fake and gay, but mostly gay

I still can't get over how they told Geezer Butler to cut 50 pages from his fucking MEMOIR because it "wasn't in line with modern readers" or however they phrased it. As if anyone reader Geezer Butler's memoir would give a single tumpity fuck about hurting anyone's feelings.

[Anonymous No.22836890]

>>22836810
I know nothing of what you're talking about. However, one time I tried writing a story in the style of Wes Anderson and the way I accomplished this was to imagine Owen Wilson riding a bike talking directly into the camera the way he did in the French Connection basically dictating the story to me and it work quite well imo

[Anonymous No.22836898]

>>22836810
Like anon said, it's all in the voice and what it focuses on. Read some Raymond Chandler, that shit usually had a noir vibe.

[Anonymous No.22837121]

>>22822937
>I have always personally found that the right software, set up, and atmosphere influence my writing dramatically.
Word, FadeIn, Plottr, Scrintal... after pencil and paper. Cannot be beaten.
>>22822923
>Which app did Dosoevsky use? What about Stephen King? When Hemingway sat down to write what did he click on? What app was critical to the success of J. K. Rowling?
>pic related

[Anonymous No.22837200]

i was burnt out from nanowrimo, but today im BACK.
PROMPT PLEASE

[Anonymous No.22837222]

>>22837200
>he actually did nanowrimo
cringe

[Anonymous No.22837242]

Personally, I do nanowrimo every month. 2k/day isn't hard unless your project requires significant research or you're a beginner.

[Anonymous No.22837266]

>>22835484
I wonder if it's possible to write the most offensive book possible that isn't an obvious troll attempt. So no "and then Captain Chad raped the women and executed the niggers" with long descriptions in between, but still with racism, sexism, and uncomfortable prose.

[Anonymous No.22837360]

>>22837200
I've got a few ideas kicking around my head, but the most recent one is a man, down on his luck, poor his entire life, wife left with their child, just fired, can't make rent, finally kills himself, only to realize that he is immortal and will revive shortly after death with whatever he had on him.
Within my story he'd decide to go ahead and do petty crimes at first, victimless stuff, but eventually he'd move on to robbing dealers, going after safehouses, etc.

[Anonymous No.22837381]

How do I know if I have bad prose?

[Anonymous No.22837388]

>>22837360
cool, thanks
>>22837222
ye

[Anonymous No.22837393]

>>22837381
if it sounds even a little awkward (to you), it's probably very awkward.

[Anonymous No.22837474]

how's this concept?
>western with werewolves
>1800's
>sheriff, Robert Reginald Rivers of Yuma, Arizona that goes protects the town from said werewolves
>employs an Apache, Joe Swiftwind, random dynamite explosive expert Chinaman, Lee So, and a mexican priest, Bartholomew DeLopez,
>hunt down some crazy werewolf created by some ancient aztec magic with human sacrifice
>enters deeper into the mexican jungles and find olmec heads
>realize if they break the curse of the werewolf they break the seal of a more deadly monstrosity---a giant lovecraftian tentacle monster in the form of a beautiful woman

How can the 4 men defeat temptation from being molested by tentacles and defeat the monster and end the curse of the werewolves?

[Anonymous No.22837477]

>>22837474
>How can the 4 men defeat temptation from being molested by tentacles and defeat the monster and end the curse of the werewolves?
so long as one of them isn't a deranged coomer I'd imagine they could kill her easily, with a bullet

[Anonymous No.22837520]

>>22837474
>sheriff, Robert Reginald Rivers of Yuma, Arizona
>employs a motley crew consisting of an Apache, a Chinaman and a Mexican priest
after they solve the werewoldf problem they start the burger king kids klub?

[Anonymous No.22837523]

>>22837520
And that's how the burger king mascot was born

[Anonymous No.22837597]

>>22837381
Try rewriting this completely. You clearly have something you want to express but it's not really coming through yet. A complete rewrite would probably clear things up. Think about the words you use. I don't like the following words:
>laurels
>sun-baked
>lapped up
>concoction
>debauchery
>utilized

[Anonymous No.22838148]

>>22834173
The same thing happens.

[Anonymous No.22838210]

>>22835394
The proper way to write a good mystery (or any fiction that depends on revelation) is to use a Bayesian updating procedure. You give the reader hints/clues which leads them to one obvious conclusion while at the same time setting up another conclusion, equally plausible given the hints but less obvious, which is finally discriminated by the inclusion of a new clue.

Put another way, this is just the concept of the red herring. Suppose, that the final revelation is that character A did the crime. The red herrings might be that character B did the crime and character C did the crime. Let's say the hints are in a list: h_1, h_2... h_n. Then hints h_1, h_2, ... h_i should lead the reader to think that character B did the crime (the first red herring) without discounting the possibility of A or C. If you're really clever you can set it up so that the red herring is nested, i.e h_1 to h_i points to B as the obvious culprit, so the reader will suspect its a red herring, at the same time h_1 to h_i more subtly points to C as the culprit, so the reader will think he's figure out the red herring and discovered the real culprit. Then h_j to h_n-1 further supports this by discounting B and putting emphasis on C (again, without discounting A) until finally h_n eliminates C and shows A as the real culprit all along. But because you took care to ensure the previous hints never discounted A the reader will not feel cheated.

An example of this is the ending of Mare of Easttown, where this principle is executed perfectly.

[Anonymous No.22838213]

>>22835484
Don't join free writing groups, simple as. The people there are amateurs that aren't actually interested in improving (or else they would be shelling out money) so much as getting a pat on the back. Money doesn't guarantee that the group will be helpful, but at the very least the people there are motivated to try and get their money's worth.

[Anonymous No.22838265]

>>22838210
You forget that 4channers are incel NEET shutins with room-temperature IQs. Just because they're socially impaired doesn't mean they're nerds. They'll never understand what you just wrote, not if they spent the rest of their lives on it.

[Anonymous No.22838296]

>>22838210
>Mare of Easttown
i was expecting some highly comfy british murder mystery from the 1920s or something instead it's some tv show ugh

[Anonymous No.22838377]

>>22838210
Thanks for the advice. Turns out I was already doing that. Lol

Another thing I’m admittedly worried about is what kind of audience I’ll market it too. As much as I’d love to market it to the middle aged/elderly women who are usually the primary audience for mystery novels, I feel that my story is way too edgy (think almost SE7EN levels of edgy) to market to the teatime murder mystery audience. I also worry that publishers won’t pick it up because of how grim and twisted it is, and that they wouldn’t want to publish potentially controversial content. Especially considering that I absolutely refuse to compromise and tone down the darkness in it.

Would I be better of trying to publish it independently, or would modern publishers be fine with publishing something more hardcore?

[Anonymous No.22838439]

What are the best tips for writing natural dialogue?

[Anonymous No.22838450]

>>22838439
1. Dialogue is rarely natural
2. Read it out loud and keep it from being corny.

[Anonymous No.22838453]

>>22820074
Do you want an editor to fix your draft? I am available until Christmas

[Anonymous No.22838526]

>>22838439

I'd actually say to steer clear from fretting too much about how natural it sounds. Natural speech isn't dialogue. Dialogue should chiefly prioritise what it conveys to the reader. I've had some success with writing out long rambly realistic conversations freeform, knowing what it's supposed to do, then editing it down to its essentials after the fact. I think the real key to it is having a clear idea of the characters giving the dialogue. If you don't have that, it's just you talking to yourself through text. That was the biggest problem I had when writing conversations as an inexperienced shitter.

[Anonymous No.22838669]

Reminder.
https://ttsreader.com/player/

[Anonymous No.22838799]

This is Syria.
A place some call destiny.

[Do LSD No.22838807]

If y’all wondering about the bad vibe spam on the feed and that it seems like one person, it is.

Much of 4chan has migrated to Discord groups with true chan vibes and real moderators.
Massive true chan groups with higher population than peak 4chan are omnipresently making sovl, memes, feels, and goodder generacy

[Anonymous No.22838904]

>>22838807
this toxic cesspool can't die off soon enough for me

[Anonymous No.22839046]

>>22838807
>redditscord
I don't feel like getting banned for not worshiping jews, niggers and trannies

[Anonymous No.22839063]

>>22838807
>If y'all
Dropped.

[Anonymous No.22839068]

What would be a good disability for a veteran that has to be a father, look cool to his children, but be crippled enough to need their help from time to time?

[Anonymous No.22839081]

>>22839068
Missing an arm.

[Anonymous No.22839090]

>>22839068
missing a leg below the knee or a hand so he has a hook. with the leg he can usually hobble around good enough but steep stairs or snow/ice make it so he needs help. the hand he needs help when driving or when his other hand is otherwise occupied

[Anonymous No.22839101]

>>22839068
catholic

[Anonymous No.22839104]

>>22839068
Fucked joint or bone from an injury. If you want to both simplify it and make it immediately, "visibly" obvious, then a missing limb works nearly as well.

[Anonymous No.22839197]

>>22838669
go back to tumblr with this feel good bullshit

[Anonymous No.22839201]

>>22838265
Having a rough day, champ?

[Anonymous No.22839203]

>>22839197
>implicit insults and self-criticism are "feel good" Tumblr nonsense
Sir, this is /wg/. The illiterate are not welcome.

[Anonymous No.22839231]

>>22839068
missing his pinkie and ring finger on his right hand, maybe toss the index in there too.

[Anonymous No.22839245]

>>22839231
he said disabilities. You literally made it so this man gets to flip people off all the time.

[Anonymous No.22839250]

>>22839203
eat shit

[Anonymous No.22839414]

>>22838807
>moderators
Moderation in anonymous forums is an inherently immoral endeavor.

[Anonymous No.22839421]

>>22839201
Just trying to manage the newbie's expectations.

[Anonymous No.22839426]

>>22838807
/lit/ is definitely garbage but i'm not sure going in an anime chatroom is a great alternative

[Anonymous No.22839457]

>>22838807
Post one, just a single discord that is better than this. Because I've been in two /wg/ discords, one is mostly dead, but the other fell apart because of schizos trying to dox people. The /lit/ magazine died because the owner was a crackhead or something like that and doxed people who refused people who didn't want to come on the podcast or however that all went.
Discord is dogshit for anything but people you already know, and I'm not joining one, because they all devolve into stupid drama and schizo trannies, because those are the only people who give a shit about joining a discord over just using threads on 4chan.

[Anonymous No.22839586]

>check out royal road to see what's all the fuss about
>endless slop covers of anime girls or some faggy twinks
>pretty much everything is uninspired, no trad publishers would even give those "best rated" works a second glance.
>literally millions of them, and yet 99% are pretty much variants of the same story
I mean sure, the standards have always been low, but really? You would expect at least a couple works out of millions would actually have some interesting ideas.

[Anonymous No.22839656]

>>22839586
>RR is all bad
There are undoubtedly some very interesting titles hidden among the heaps, but you're never going to find them among the top 10
This is not an RR only phenomenon. The best selling author of 2023, and 2022 and 2021, etc. was romance author Colleen Hoover. Her books are best sellers, and they're trash. Junkfood. That's what people consume in the largest amounts, the literary equivalent of McDonald's slop.

[Anonymous No.22839674]

>>22839586
>no trad publishers would even give those "best rated" works a second glance
oh and to directly address this, a trad publishers have no cache and no taste. they'd publish anything they thought would earn them money or diversity points. Take the very recent Cait Corrain Crown of Starlight fiasco. The book sucks, the author is psycho, and yet she was given debut status because she checked off all the DEI publishing boxes

[Anonymous No.22839704]

>>22839674
I disagree. Trad publishers do care about the quality, they are just heavily influenced by the marketability of the author

[Anonymous No.22839730]

>>22839704
>marketability
except as Cait Corrain demonstrates it's about DEI not marketability. and Colleen Hoover shows that quality is in no way connected to market success. If you disagree with me saying Colleen Hoover writes utter trash 2 weeks ago I decided I wanted to include a more serious romantic subplot in the book I'm writing so I decided to look up Colleen Hoover's absolute best selling novel, It Ends WIth Us. I made it about 20, short pages into the pdf I found. Do me a favor and read those pages. Come back here and try and tell me it isn't garbage.

[Anonymous No.22839905]

>try to write a romance
>too much of a virgin to get it right

[Anonymous No.22839913]

>>22839905
I know this feel
This is why we write the Weird, the horror, and the fantasy

[Anonymous No.22839926]

>>22839905
if you want market success the formula is easy
>female mc is mousy brown haired, plain jane everywoman
>love interest is wealthy, tall successful man with a "dark" past. batman, essentially
>alternate love interest is strong, well muscled potentially popular but also potentially a loner. think an ex con
>love interests fall absolutely head over heels for plain jane mc and they take turns trying to win her affection
>oh and no matter wat crazy female shit the mc pulls she is always right
>bondage is a plus
there you go

[Anonymous No.22839929]

>>22839905
I'm a 28 year old virgin and I write romance. I base it off of other romance books I've read. So far, no one had said a thing about my lack of experience.

[Anonymous No.22839936]

>promised grandmother I'd show her my final draft
>want to finish it before she dies
>so mentally/emotionally exhausted by work/life I spend what little free time I have in bed trying to decompress
I force myself to do short bursts but fuck it's hard.

[Anonymous No.22839956]

>>22839936
I get up at 4am to do important things and give the rest of life what it gives me, next to nothing.

[Anonymous No.22839967]

>>22839929
Don't worry, even shit like >>22837154 sells

[Anonymous No.22839980]

>>22839967
>Hilda heard the sound of galloping abs
Fucking HOW

[Anonymous No.22840003]

>>22839980
It's obviously intended to be over-the-top and make you laugh. The cover quote is "laugh out loud fabulous". Does 4chan really have this little media literacy?

[Anonymous No.22840021]

>>22840003
I had the suspicion that it was written intentionally (didn't pay attention to the cover) but honestly without knowing the rest of the book it's hard to judge. Some sentences like "the cat that ate the cream of the crop" which doesn't exhibit the same humor.

[Anonymous No.22840054]

>>22837381

You just need to refine it a bit. Combine some of the sentences so they aren't so short and you are not using pronouns excessively. Think about how you might link one idea to another. This scene can easily be two to three times the length it is now. So think about how one thing leads to another, rather than doing it in a hurry.

For example between the first sentence and the second sentence, you could describe a lot more here so that we know what exactly the guy wants more of. Is he being squeezed? Is he being groped? Caressed? Why is it pleasurable for him?

Between the second and third sentence likewise, there's not enough clarity about how one thing leads to another. You coudl be more descriptiive so it feels like the opening the bottle is the natural step that follows. When you have descriptive text in between your "I did this or that" lines it makes it sound better, less like you're writing a list of actions. The "Alcohol, debauchery..." line you wrote is a good example of how this helps improve the prose. I'd suggest aiming to double or triple the length of the paragraph to use more such sentences, whethey they are descriptions, observations or other ideas. You could also intersperse more lines of dialogue. Maybe have the guy say something in quotes. "Yes... yes... more..." lol

[Anonymous No.22840106]

>>22835963
sure. post your phone number

[Anonymous No.22840393]

I'm really running dry on ability ideas right now.
I had the idea of creating Vertex points on anything the user touches and turning it into a Parabola but that is too limited in usage.

[Anonymous No.22840488]

>>22837266
Have you read Blood Meridian?

[Anonymous No.22840490]

>>22840393
it's an awful idea not only because it's limited, but because when you explain it the last thing a reader wants to hear are words like vertex and parabola. the simpler and more powerful power both to use and explain would be one that allows warpage of matter

[Anonymous No.22840620]

https://pastebin.com/3K0FwWpr

Not sure where I'm going with this.

[Anonymous No.22840648]

How do I write female characters? I want my female main character to be competent and kickstart the plot but not outshine the male protagonist. Like I can't have male protag meet cute and she's actually an accomplished fighter with any sense of innocence lost years ago.

[Anonymous No.22840665]

>>22838439
Write what you want to convey in the first draft. Edit it to fit the characters in a later draft.

[Anonymous No.22840672]

>>22840648
>she's actually an accomplished fighter with any sense of innocence lost years ago
so I'd say don't make her a bareknuckle brawler
>b-but magic
yeah, no. if she's a woman she should approach problems the way a woman does. for interpersonal problems women work toward consensus. that's how they're wired. a man may get all fired up and go bust down a door.
a woman wouldn't do that. women can be vicious toward each other, but approach conflicts with men differently. why? mainly because women are physically weaker than men, and men are biologically programmed to treat women well. even with magic being a thing women would still be physically weaker than men, and men have that breeding instinct that makes them treat women with kid gloves. even with firearms and other equalizers available in the modern world, women still tend to use poison. this may be because of their jobs they can get away with it, nurse, homemaker, etc. women are more socially conscious than men and put greater effort into appearing "good" in public

[Anonymous No.22840726]

>>22840648
Start by not going too heavy into stereotypes. Yes, they exist for a reason, and they are accurate on a large scale, but don't write women as just women, write them as people.
And while I say this, I don't mean to write them as genderless blob characters.
This guy has it right for the most part. >>22840672
Men and women don't end up exactly the same even when raised in the same environment by the same parents.
I've got 7 sisters, and while they trend a certain way, they aren't exactly the same, and that can also be said about my 4 brothers.
Two of my brothers ended up working a tire shop, the other two work construction with our father.
One sister works construction and has a CDL, two waitresses, one hotel maid manager, one cleans on the side but is a homemaker, two work at a daycare, but two others, the one who works construction and the one who is a stay at home also worked there in the past.
My five older sisters are more right learning, two younger are more left leaning.
What does bind my sisters together is that all of them are headstrong and tomboyish because we are rural people.
We didn't always live in the same place, but we all had the same parents, yet we all turned out different from one another.

[Anonymous No.22840752]

Where do you release your writings if you just wanna put em up online for free? I just wanna do a series as a hobby and was thinking of releasing short stories as I write them but have no clue where I'm supposed to put them. I don't wanna do traditional publishing as putting stuff online and creating a community and reacting to them as they react sounds fun. Also I want shit to be free as it's just a hobby and I'm all about free shit.

[Anonymous No.22840806]

>>22840752
Literally asked earlier >>22835837. Consider making an effort.

[Anonymous No.22840814]

What tools are you writing with Anon?

[Anonymous No.22840822]

>>22840814
Google docs.
It works, it has cloud saving, and that is all I need.

[Anonymous No.22840897]

New >>22840894

[Anonymous No.22840898]

>>22840814
LibreOffice. I prefer not using online programs in general, and with christmas coming up I'm going to be spending time in an airport and in the air and an online program won't help me with that. I have also heard horror stories of googledocs losing stuff.

[Anonymous No.22840903]

>>22819082
>Sit down to write a sci-fi horror story
>Get into a really good flow state
>Writing with more consistency than I've had on any other project
>Short story expands into a novella
>This is taking longer than I expected but holy shit I might actually get something done for once
>The story is consuming my mind, all my free brain power goes into plotting and planing the next scene or character beat
>Hit burn out super hard this week
>Decide to take a few days off and work on something else
>Discussing with roommate how one would craft the perfect YA novel series and rake in a boat load of cash
>Brain shifts to thinking about dragons non-stop for a week
>Weekend rolls around
>Ground myself and get back to work on my novella
>Know what to write because I've plotted everything out at this point, but that creative mania is gone
>Part of me wants to wrap this up quick so I can go back to writing about dragons.
Anyone else have this feel?

[Anonymous No.22840921]

>>22840897
Way too early, and you forgot the OP. Maybe you should join the tranny groomer Discord instead.

[Anonymous No.22840993]

>>22840648
If you want to actually write entertaining fiction and not a pretentious attempt at an literary examination of the human condition, then write what you want to write. Any worthwhile writers know the worst writing advice possible is "to write what you know". The "I have sisters so I know what women should be like" ones as in this thread aren't worth listening to. Just write the goddamn character you think would work well with your story and stop worrying about that fabled realistic feminity

[Anonymous No.22841175]

>pubber paid me
>still hasn't put up my story
Is that just how they treat ya? Like a money whore?

[Anonymous No.22841200]

>>22840726
Based seven-sisters poster.

[Anonymous No.22841359]

>>22841200
Thank you. I think.

[Anonymous No.22841551]

>>22840726
Your personal anecdote doesn't work, because what determines the behavior of children most in these cases is the parents' occupation, education, and upbringing, not gender.

These conversations are so fucking autistic. "Men are more likely to solve problems by busting down a door." Fucking nobody does that. What African village do you live in?

[Anonymous No.22841574]

>>22841551
>le blank slate
girl play house. boys play cowboys and indians. it isn't social cues, it's innate differences determined by sex

[Anonymous No.22841743]

>>22841574
I'm not talking about "blank slates," or whatever you imagine I was talking about. I'm saying your dumb personal story about your dumb fucking burger family is not a universal representation of how males and females work, and does not qualify you to tell others how males and females are supposed to be written.

[Anonymous No.22841780]

>>22839929
actually pretty based good for you bro

[Anonymous No.22841868]

>>22840003
>Does 4chan really have this little media literacy?
You know very well that it does.

>>22840620
The opening paragraph about his physical struggles to set up the poker night seems disconnected. The thread that carries through about him being a lonely virgin trying to be social is one thing, and quite nicely implemented, but the kind of mad devotion to it that would make a man go to all that trouble isn't really built upon. I also felt that this:
>He was a construction worker and proud of his strength.
was altogether too on the nose.

The characters are introduced very abruptly but I like them. Their distinct personalities and interactions with each other are well realised and the dialogue is purposeful and convincing.

Am I right in thinking this is all that exists of this particular work?

[Anonymous No.22842159]

>>22841868
Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, this is all there is for now. Bit of a false start since I don't really know where to take it (hence the scattered narrative).

[Anonymous No.22842397]

>>22840993
>Any worthwhile writers know the worst writing advice possible is "to write what you know".
Every time I try to do that I end up with a sad, rambling "novel" that's halfway between Whatever by Houllebecq and a manifesto.

[Anonymous No.22843006]

>>22842397
Have you completed any of them? Sounds like you need to get them out of your system.